Morality is easy when things are black and white. Good and evil. Light and dark. Regular Spock and Spock with a goatee.
But most of the time, circumstances fall into a gray area. A realm of the ethically sticky. “Thou shalt not steal” is easy enough. But what if you promise to bring it back before anyone notices?
“Though shalt not kill.” That seems pretty straight forward, but what if your owner dresses you up like this?
That kitty could make a compelling argument for justifiable homicide.
While Ceiling Cat deals in that which is pure, and Basement Cat deals in that which is evil… there is another feline stuck in the middle. A cat that skirts the line between bad and good. That challenges the concepts of wrong and right. He is known as the Moral Gray Area Kitteh. But you can call him Buford T. Pawzington… Attorney at Law.
Buford was the product of forbidden love. His mother, a disciple of Ceiling cat, was as white and pure as the driven snow. His father, a minion of Basement Cat, was an agent of darkness. They met on the mortal plane and did not know that each of them had a mystical secret. They fell in love and conceived a child. When the kitten was born, the dark and light had cancelled each other out. He was gray in color and gray in conscience.
The typical cat conscience is usually made up of equal parts good and bad. When an ethical dilemma occurs, two inner voices appear in the cat’s subconscious mind. The inner angel and the inner demon.
The cat will listen to the argument of each side, and whoever is more convincing will dictate the morality of the choice made. Some of you may be thinking, “but my cat always chooses evil!” This is because the inner angel is prone to excessive napping.
But Moral Gray Area Kitteh has no inner voices to sway him toward the good or the bad. Instead, he can only make ethical choices that dwell in that murky gray area. And this moral flux is what makes Buford T. Pawzington the best damned cat lawyer there is.
Buford graduated first in his class at Harvard Law School for Morally Ambiguous Felines. He opened his own practice, and has shown himself capable of litigating in almost any field. He has never lost a case.
He does personal injury.
Criminal justice.
Traffic law.
And of course, there was his famous appearance in small claims court.
Buford was once asked if he wished he had a more stringent conscience to help guide his ethics. Perhaps an inner angel to lead him towards righteousness. In the end, he does not wish for such a thing at all. He says that the moral gray area requires deep thought. It challenges the mind and enables him to do his job well. He is not burdened with guilt, and his logic is always sound. In fact, the thing he does wish is that all of us join him in deep thought when making important ethical decisions.
Click here to see moar moral grayness.
Have a story idea? Is there a character you would like to see? Please send your suggestions and any feedback to confidential@cheezburger.com
Tacgnol
Serious Cat
Longcat
Basement Cat
Ceiling Cat
Dr. Tinycat
Happycat
Hovercat
InvisiCo
Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh
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Oh dis is awwshum! Berry funny!
+1,000,000,000
An teh internetz
ima chicdken
BERRIES!
-awwyeah-
Oh, yeah?…
CHINA!
Betcha didn’t see that comming!:3
Conga-rats, notatroll on your nawt seckond. As far as the Bio is concerned, I will have to reserve judgement until I have had a chance to study all of the evidence and form an opinion. ( Is that morally Grey enough?)
I always thought of the descendence of Cieling cat and Basement cat was going to be Closet Kitty but oh well
Where’s the favorite button? Everything else has one but this!!
I also want to know why we can’t favorite this one? I have all the other cheezburger confidential’s favorited and want to add this one too
meeeeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooooooooooooo
Dis is da’ best. I used to werk fer attorney… HATED IT! But I LOVE Moral Gray Area Kitteh. I even kinda’ sorta’ looks like him when I is contemplating da’ moral dilemma. And that “badgering the witness” pic is berry funny. Thanks fer making my day better.
shuud meeeet wif Highdigger’s kitteh adn be boaf gud adn ebil
but the puns are my favorite part! i’m hiring moral grey area kitteh to sue for wrongful termination!
If ai had nawt awlweddy gawn 2 teh baffrum, ai woulda peed mah pantz, dis wuz soooo funneeeeeee! ROFLMKBO! (Rolling On Floor, Laffin’ Mah Kitteh Butt Off!)
Lol! dis ish hilarious!
Cats can fight with the birds as long as they chase away the mice.
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He are Troo Nootral!
Moral gray area kitteh is a nice concept, but I have three tuxedo cats who see everything in black and white.
Very funny, JayPea
Hey – last time, you said the next CC would be Catnorok! What happened???
will some one suggest hipstercat and philosorapter for me?
Please run for congress!!!
Mr. Pawzinton shud uv been @ Cazee Antonee trial. Wud’ve solvd it.
Ai lurvz teh MGAK! Luks liek mai kitteh Mr Pib.
teh durg took meh favriot stufed bear out side and he sez itz hiz nowz!! wat i do?
Cats are so yesterday, synchronized chimps are the future.
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Oohhh Boi iz det deh besses funnii ai hab seen inna wong wong tyme ehn ai eb stilllllllll affen!! Heh luk lyk may Maggooo-wat ai had foar deh hole teen aged lyf an hib marriet up wif a grey n wyte kitteh adn weh hab sooo meny wittel grey adn wyte kittehs wat maek meh so happy foar a long tym datz wey deh probabrey aer mah fabooryte wons (ceptehn deh blak wons & tuxies, adn em yallo wons adn deh wyte wons adn…ob coarz deh stripey braown wons adn…………………..did ai sai em floffy wons ? but dein ah ahm prai judge dishiall!!
Spock looks so much more badass with a goatee
This may be my favorite meme evr!
Dogs fault even if I did do it!
Lol!
I have ambivalent feelings about this Chezzburger Confidential.