Longcat is long, but that wasn’t always the case
For when he was born, he was barely a face
His body looked shrunk; he was really quite small
Longcat was not very long at all
The doctors all worried he may never grow
His parents were sad and hoped that wasn’t so
But as he got older, his length did not increase
And when at the playground, the children would tease
Saying: “Longcat’s not long. He’s short as can be!
I’ve got hairs on my head that are longer than he!”
The words that were muttered made Longcat quite sad
He prayed to be longer, if only a tad
Determined to grow, he took matters into his own paws
He tried all manner of things to help his lengthy cause
He stretched and pulled and took vitamins by the pound
He tied weights to his legs and dangled high above the ground
But nothing was working, he was out of get-long schemes
He had almost abandoned all of his get-long dreams
But while taking a walk, with his head hanging low
He noticed a something that might make him grow
It looked old and spooky, like some carnival game
Inside was a genie. Zoltar was his name
It asked for his wish, with its eyes all aglow
“I wish to be long. Can you please make it so?”
Zoltar shaked and quaked and rumbled and grumbled
Longcat became startled, and to the ground he tumbled
Then he came to his senses, and looked down at his feet
But they were no further… Zoltar was a cheat!
To bed Longcat went, with the grumpiest of moans
But the magic was working, tingling in his bones
The very next day, he arose with a yawn
and much to his surprise, he looked down at his lawn!
He had grown out the sides of his home in the night
As he basked in his longness, he was filled with delight
Longcat was long! His wish had been granted!
Zoltar the Genie indeed was enchanted!
But there was a catch to the wish he received…
He grew longer and longer each time that he breathed
Looking at him before, he seemed just a speck
But to look at him now put a kink in your neck
He grew…
and he grew…
and he grew…
and he grew…
Would he stop growing? Nobody knew.
People came from all over to see his awesome size
And many did faint, they could not believe their eyes
Longcat’s endless length was getting out of hand
He had grown much longer than he ever planned
“I’m much too long! It’s quite lonely in space.
Now I long for those days when I was barely a face.”
Longcat held his breath in the hopes to un-grow
And to his great surprise, his expansion did slow
As he proceeded to shrink his immeasurable girth
He began to de-long his long way back to Earth
He realized he could be any length he could wish
As tall as a building or as small as a fish
Once Longcat had reached a more reasonable size
He realized being too long was really unwise
“To be ‘Just long enough’ is just fine with me…
Being super long isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Longcat was grateful to be any size he desired
And vowed only to lengthen to the size he required
All was right in the world; the children no longer teased
Longcat is long. And for that, he is pleased
See more of Longcat’s lengthiness.
Have a story idea? Is there a character you would like to see? Please send your suggestions and any feedback to confidential@cheezburger.com
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Wi awl long faw moor
I love longcat ^_^
epic
)
had a good laugh
cheers.
*clap*clap*clappity*clap*!!!!!
well. that was pretty awesome.
Loved the saga of Longcat, told in Seussian meter.
The story of Longcat couldn’t have been sweeter.
@@@@@ elebenty internets to you, too!
ITS OVER NINE THOUSANDDDDDD!!!!!
XD I thought the same!! HE’S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!
Me too! His length is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In fact, it’s 9001.
..most awesome!! *claps*
Live LONG and pross-purr Longcat!
Nice one. ^^
i LOVE longcat so cute!
lol tat waz ta funny stowy
OMG LONGCAT!!! I ALWAYS KNEW U COULD CONTROLL YOUR HEIGHT!
I like turtles…
Random.
i like turtles too
My hero Longcat!
Wow… So THATS the story of the Longcat. How incredible!
Kitteh: *kitteh walks up* Meow. *kitteh is white* Meow. *kitteh gets as big as her* I can haz hugz?
Me: O_o IZ LONGCAT
We can has Tacgnol next, plzkthx?
Oh fabyoolos ideah Brendon! Haz yew sended a speshul elecktronic lettur to: confidential@cheezburger.com wif a rekw….rahke….askin’ dem tew dew Tacgnol next?!
PS. Dis wuz bai fahr mai faborit cheezburger confidential!
aifinks we shud sended ekeltronik letturs bout Longer Than Regular Cats But Not Extraordinarily Long Cat (George)! i wanna no moar bout Longcats brudder!!
(seez waht i mean at heer:)
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/04/09/funny-pictures-whats-in-a-name-2/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ICanHasCheezburger+%28I+CAN+HAS+CHEEZBURGER%29
kthxbai!
is going to be Tacgnol sqeaul?
iz long for more.
hay hes like me
That was a bloody terrific Cheezburger confidential!
How big is his litter box?
I am guessing HUGE!
Well, it’s not huge as much as long…
ROTFL! The rhyme’s a bit clumsy but still quite funny!
I laughed until I cried. Great silly story.
Normal House Cat: 1 Foot
Scary Dinosaur: 2O Feet
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: 100 Feet
Longcat: IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Soo AWESOME!!!!
ai finks cheezburger confidential should make a keebord kitteh profile!
OMG i woold luv this site fur evur if dey did key boord kitteh!!!1
Hes my favorite
Longcat has been around for many centuries: he makes an appearance in Norse mythology: http://www.hurstwic.org/history/articles/mythology/myths/text/thor_utgard.htm
where the lol cat dicaranoary?!?
elebenty miles long
Can I please make this a children’s book with illustrations for publication? Cause that’s freaking adorable.
The Cyclone 4 Longcat… OMG!
i luvvvvvvvvvv longcat!!!!!!!!!!! looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongcat i should say! (^_^)
iiiiiiii llllllooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee lllllllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggcccccccccaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome story.Did anyone besides me notice that the third cat in the third photo said “I like turtles.” because that was comedically random
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Ai noticd, 2!
Gud one, cheezpepole!
lol best doctor seus book eva
Bahahaha! Get-long dweams. I lubz Longcat.
I bet my cats wish they were that long
i LIKE TURTLES
Longcat and Nyan Cat would be best friends. Having epic space adventures…
that kitteh’s got noh BOUNDAREEZ DOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a longcat for sale on youtube. He is Loki. Brother of the Mean Kitty. But be careful shoppers. Check the date before you send the money.