Have you heard the good news?
About Ceiling Cat.
Do you ever get the feeling someone is watching you? Perhaps the hairs on the back of your neck tingle. The room seems empty, but you feel like you are not the only one in it.
I don’t mean to alarm you… but you are correct.
You are being watched. Watched from above. There is nothing to fear, though. It is only Ceiling Cat.
*choir music*
Ceiling Cat is an omnipotent feline that watches us all from the infinite ceiling. He rarely interferes. He just peeks through occasionally like a benevolent voyeur. He sees you when you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows if you’ve been bad or good.
And yes, he even watches you when you are doing… other things.
But you shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s perfectly natural behavior. Ceiling Cat just wants to make sure you are doing things properly so you don’t hurt yourself. Especially if you are using various… devices. Him observing you during that process of self-gratification is no different than you observing a monkey at the zoo.
Not a problem! Ceiling Cat is actually classified as a “supplemental deity.” He is there to cover any issues that your religion might not address. For example, maybe your faith of choice doesn’t protect you against allergic reactions to shellfish. Let’s say you are out at a fine-dining establishment and you unknowingly order some salad with bits of lobster in it. Your face swells up, your airways close.
Where is your god now? If you choose Ceiling Cat as your supplemental deity, he will be sure to provide you with divine epinephrine.
Now lets say you finish your meal without further consequence and the check arrives. Uh oh… you have forgotten your wallet! But worry not, for Ceiling Cat has you covered.
And you need not worry about religious compatibility. Ceiling Cat gets along with all of the major religious figures. In fact, they have a weekly poker game.
(embiggen)
GREAT QUESTION! With Ceiling Cat’s special Afterlife Advantage package (for just four easy payments of $19.95), you get personal, guided passage to your preferred afterlife.
Well, if you did not sign up for the Forgiveness for All Things package (only $8.95/month) then you will have to face judgment. But Ceiling Cat is well known for his leniency.
Of course. All religions have rules. But Ceiling Cat’s Ten Commandments are nothing to worry about. Easy as pie, really.
Proof, you say? How about this official Certificate of Divine Existence notarized by ginger Kung Fu legend Chuck Norris?
Glad to hear it! You won’t be disappointed. Ceiling Cat looks forward to watching you.
Get to know Ceiling Cat by checking out some Ceiling Cat Lolz!
Have a story idea? Is there a character you would like to see? Please send your suggestions and any feedback to confidential@cheezburger.com
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This omnipotent
Ceiling Cat must often see
most disturbing things.
So it is written that: “What has been seen cannot be unseen”(ICHC)
Hi! What?!
but suppose he douse see you what happens then
WEEABOO
*ties you up*
he’s watching you right now
Yes yes he is! Thxz!
Yes I do…
That was awesome! I guess Basement Cat is next.
Butt(!) Basement Cat does nawt follo ceilin cat, aifinkso.
Basement Cat haz teh awesomeness!
an teh cookiez :3
Look guys, I’m a Memebasenite, I’m not gonna speak Lolspeak, I speak Troll XD
Me too.
Problem?
U jelly?
naw. u mad, brah?
Umadbro?
Yeeeea u mad
Iy speekz teh both
Problem?
iy duz tooz
u jelly/cheezburger?
ikr???
basment cat minyon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great job and keep up the good work
Very well done confidential.
Im Sold!!!!!1!
Agreed!
OMGOMGOMGOMG CHUCK NORRIS SIGNED IT
SOLD MY ATHIESM RIGHT AWAY ALONG WITH CEREAL GUY
Hells yeah it did!
If dere iz nawt Ceiling Cat in teh nex wurld, ai iz nawt going.
Dis. Is. Brillyunt.
i agree……..
Best
Site
Ever
you
are
so
rite
Supplemental Deity — ai haz wun!
My mind reels at what my eyes have just seen. I think I liked it!
hoos chuk noris?
U is going to get a roundhouse point blank to da face
onwee teh awsumest dude around well on earth that is
I am no longer an atheist I now follow Ceiling Cat
Best thing to make sense since apple pie :3
Ize a beeleever nao!!!
Hmmmm.warez mai avatar?
Yeth! I IZ a BEELEEVER!
You know, I’m a Christian, and I found this hilarious. XD YAY Ceiling Cat!
Of course you did!
Yesh, me too, also.
I’m Jewish
I’m Catholic, and I have decided CC is God’s cat!
Mee too!
Now that you mention it, I’ll deceide that too!
It’s good that God has a sense of humor. x3
Thanks for your response! I agree with you and like the way you found an acceptable way to work this tidbit of info around the issue of faith!
Peace!
im christian but i eggwee
Ceiling Cat iz allus lukkin’ owt fur yur best innerests.
Itt r relebent tew Hiz innerests, u c… Onna ccount ob u gotz rhumbs.
err, that possa bee u gotz thumbs, nawt rhumbs!!! *mutter, mutter, mutter*
So is God. I guess Ceiling Cat is God’s cat. I meant, that makes sense, right? If that does, then guess who Basement Cat belongs to.
Our cat who art in heaven, hallowed be thy mane.
Take from us this day thy daily mouse.
Help us tresspass that we may steal the choicest noms.
Lead us into every temptation, but see we are not caught shredding the TP.
Yay though I walk through the valley of deaf, I shall fear no ebil, for thine yowl is greater than any other!
… adn thy pointy endz, tehy protekt me.
Thou gibs meh a bowl full of cheezburgerz,
adn teh goggie cannot hab dem.
Surely awl mah dayz will be FTW,
adn ai will rule teh haus foreber. Amen.
Maykes mii, pritty gud Cat O Lick, smilez. Fankies.
ai iz nealling in abject humoroscity b4 ceiling cat
As a Pastafarian, I am honoured that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was included with Clapton playing poker.
May you all be warmly embraced by his noodly appendages.
R’amen.
this is hilarious. thank you Queen!
FLYING SPAGHETTI QUEEN
FLYING SPAGHETTI KING
FLYING SPAGHETTI IM
FLYING SPAGHETTI ROBOT
FLYING SPAGHETTI POLO
FLYING SPAGHETTI WHAT
FLYING SPAGHETTI CAT
FLYING SPAGHETTI []
FLYING SPAGHETTI…
Free food! Come and THE BIG RED BUTTON
FLYING SPAGHETTI
Toned down bulls**t. It should read “watching you MASTURBATE”
This is a family site. The original wasn’t shown on the front page either – you had to click off-site to see it.
But kids read this. I go here, I’m 11.
Not me
I’m 12.SANAFABICH you need to think of others.
I’m 11 too! 11 party!!
Your 14 year old High Schooler Superior is disappointed by your actions. Stupid sixth graders. Worse than Scumbag Steve, I tell ya.
oy! im in 6th grade! basement cat will devour ur soul 4 that!
this 13 yr old middle schooler is somewhat amused by that comment. also, u ain’t my superior!
hey, so am i!
im 7
do u go to WFFA?
wait ur 7 this site is for 9+ get off
not cool
Eye bowe in awesum wership but Jelly jest yawnes. Eye iz practising mishun 2
cunvirt dis heethin wiv litel suckcess 2 dayt
My god your site is hilarious!
Do you meen AOMCeilingCat, your sight is hill air eeous?
I meens da whole site make me laff every dayz.
gud meening!
An Ai shud hav writ: OMCeilingCat. Nawt sure whut “O” wuz doin in dere.
i love this site
Ai wood hav ekspekted Ceiling Kitteh too bee put toogether wif Basemint Kitteh n’ Moral Gray Area Kitteh.
ALL HAIL THE BASEMENT CAT! FEAR HIS VENGEFUL CLAW!
Why is Cthulu not included in the deities playing poker picture? This is an outrage!
Well if he was then Godzilla would have to be, too. And do you really want everyone going insane? I mean really, if you see Cthulu, you go mad, do you not?
wherez teh rule bout give cats cheezburgers 4ever no matterz wut?!?
IF chuck says so than you had better believe it
YOU tell him No in his face.
Then you die. Simple as that.
how does the ceiling cat not fall down?
Because, his fur is so light, it’s hollow. That’s what gives it its white colour, silly, so he floats, but only about ceiling height, because he still eats cheeseburgers like every other will once they get the the great ceiling!
eez guude nuff for CHUCK NORRIS eez guude nuff for meez!!!
*bows in humble reverence*
ceiling cat must see a lot of disturbing things AND hear the most disturbing things. I won’t believe in ceiling cat till I see him!!!
U an Tommy
Henceforth, I accept Ceiling Cat as my personal savior. U Jelly, Jesus?
hai Ceiling Catz. ai just bean wondiringz wherez taht cheezburger aiz bean awsking four? kthxbai
Oh oh oh. Ceiling Cat luffs meh, dis i know, for teh interwebs tells me so.
lol! 8-B according 2 my calcyoolashuns, Ceiling Cat will soon send to thy world thy thousand goggies also known as Ceiling Cat’s wrath against all anti-lol catz who followz thou basement cat.
i has decided, ceiling cat iz god’s pet kitteh. i also believe. i iz a Christian.
ceilin cat relays to meh that Chuck Norris can gurgle peanut butter.
SOLD!
ceiling cat & Chuck Norris = BFF’s.
who of these beutiful peeps belives in the howly cieling cat
I <3 Ceiling Cat & Basement Cat. And I is Christian. Love Ceiling Cat's existence prufe.
if ur bad u go to basement cat
Grrr…. Ceiling Cat makes me so FURIOUS!
Well if Chuck Norris is involved it MUST be true. He makes everything better! I luv u Ceiling Cat and so does my cat Casey!!!!!!! ^_^
but sir, it’s against my programming to impersonate a diety!
SOLD!
Lol
This is offensive material and should not exist on the internet(s)
Caek, a liddle laet, but caek in braek ruum.
U r uhfensiv n shud not xist on teh interwebz…lazlo
That was extremly stupid. Nice pics, though. LOL
Isn’t that the whole point?
Macy is extreemly stoopid. Teh only point is teh top uv his hed. Kan u say kreetin?
Ceiling cat is watching me. Creepy.
Mohammed isn’t pictured ‘cos he’s not a “deity”. He’s a prophet.
Go seelin’ cat! rool da wurld! ‘n furgiv ppl fur dere sins, k?
‘n awso, y u wach meh? wut if ai is dooen pwivat stoof? aw wew, at leest u pwotekt meh.
I tink cleanin ketteh is watchin meh naow…..
celing cat must not be happy with my cat cuz my cat destroyes bird nests
lol, i laughed. thats awsome
If you DO happen to die, Ceiling Cat will be availible for just four (4) easy payment of $19.95. (There is also an umentioned extra payment of $19.99 shipping and handling. Ceiling Cat is not responsible for any deaths, injuries, or loss of cheezburgers.)
2 words CELINGGATO(CAT) RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MEOW=*3
That was not a monkey. The Librarian will be horrified.
Basement Cat is influincing the unbeleivers! I firgot to say, I hate JB also. Basement Cat ate his soul immediately when he was born.
CEILING CAT!!!!
I want the LOLcat bible (notice I didn’t capitalize “bible” but I would if I meant the actual “Holy Bible”) but this page is pretty offensive to Christianity in general.Is the Basement Cat page the same way?
As a thinking being, Christianity is offensive in general and its followers are often offensive in particular. Religion is like a penis, it should never be whipped out in public and never at the dinner table.
LMAO!! Hysterical!
Why ceiling change fur coat?
Do YU ware da same cloz ala tiem??
A feline’s god is a pussy. hehe
if C.C. is reely wachin over me, i iz goin 2 b much better
lubs it
this is so cute, but ill stick to the reguler god, but i will teach my pets about ceiling cat
The regular god must has lots of fiber in his diet.
Funnnnnyyyyyy! Definitely one to share with my cattie friends/people.
Thx now im too afried to look at my ceiling
i wonder if ceiling cat will show up on our ceiling…
SOLD!!!!!!!
omg luv this cat so cute i hav 1 remem cats rule dogs drool!
ps i m sold but still christian
i believe in you, ceiling cat!(and i iz a goggie
)
I was just looking at the poeple who was talking about how old they are and im 16 I joined when I was 6so I think you guys should be polite to the little ones here
Me: *Small clapping sounds* *Ceiling cat watches me do “u knows wat”* Oh uh…sorry Ceiling Cat…it’s just…uh..Ceiling Cat?
CC: ME GUSTA
HALP!!! WHO DO I PICK??? BASEMENT CAT OR CEILING CAT??? PLEASE HALP!!!!
Com 2 da ceilings of richeusness an choos teh almitey Ceiling Cat!
all hail ceiling cat all hail ceiling cat!!
For those of you who are offended by that, oh well, if you don’t like it, don’t look at it in the first place.
(P.S. I iz a ceiling Cat beliver now. =3)
I love You Ceiling Cat!
I Believe in Ceiling Cat
I Declare that there is not ceiling cats but Ceiling Cat and lolcat is his/her Prophet
So Help Me Celing Cat all of my days until we met in the Ceiling when I die
Ahmen
(The cheque for thel Afterlife Advantage and Forgiveness for All Things packages is in the mail)
i haz rulez
I Believe in Ceiling Cat
I Declare that there are no ceiling cats but Ceiling Cat and lolcat is his/her Prophet
So Help Me Celing Cat all of my days until we met in the Ceiling when I die
Amen
(The cheque for thel Afterlife Advantage and Forgiveness for All Things packages is in the mail)
i believe ceiling cat and the ebil basement cat and i’m 9