I dont care how cute fierman be… …no moar stiking meh in treez!
an he not eben dat cyoot 2 begin wit…
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Yooz eezy-daytur instedd!
Hoo gonna feed meh wen u is in jayl fur 9-1-1 abyoos?!
wowie
soulo nawt secund 4 angelplume. congaz!
Fanks! Teh lol wuz awn tyme fur wunss… ai had a surpryzed!
mii 2. ai wuz like
(valli speek)
aiz cotton yused 2 da lols showin up late an later.
Conga rats AngelPlume. What wud you liek for drinks and dansies?
Fankeez, kimmi! Gud tu see u heer… bin awyols aifink?
Um, mebbe sumfin dat wud warrint reskyoo serbissez?
Pan-galaktik-garglol-blasturz adn teh twist?
Ohai, yis been awyols – had sum stoopy stuffs to try and deel wib.
I maeks yew a Flaming Homer aka a Flaming Mo.
OHAI!!! Iz this a drink? May ai joyn yoo!
Luk! Yoo can sit heer awn teh kowtch!
*skooches over*
mii 2?
aisle bring da soupz.
*mayks ruum* Grayt tu see u heer agen tuu, j-pak!
*fawls ober*
*poarz drinkeez* Nebber tryd wun ob deez befoar.
*glug-glug-glug*
*luks down at AP lyin onda ground* *yoinks da rest ob da drinkie* glugglugglugglug* hmmmm.. tasteeeeee
*krashez 2 da ground*
Well, thanks AP!
It’z gud to bee heer.
Ai miss it wif a feerce wehn ai cant.
Hmmmmm – iz it taht gud? May ai halp yoo bak up?
noodle??? Ar yoo ok??
*pores hur drink in teh awlreddee potted plant*
O hai guise! Who wants to play “Pin teh Tail on teh”– hay! Why u all sleeping at this time of night?
Itz just AP an noodle hoo ar potted – an teh plant, ov corse.
“Pin teh Tail on the’ – HAY?
We used to uze hay bales (well, straw, axe shoe alley!) staked up fur target praktiss wif a littlol bows an arrows.
Oooh! That sounds like funs!
Those sleeping guise are about teh same activity level as hay well straw axe shoe ally bales. We can use them for targets.
*tryz tu roll owt ob teh lyne ob fyre*
*rollz AP bak into teh lyne ov fyre*
Wow! Moving targets. Whut a challenge.
*aims littlol arrow*
Teh hay well straw sxe shoe ally bales didn used to moove so much.
BUTT – we cud pretend we ar in a “Very Potted” mooviee – laiek alw thoz mooving stare cases. Cud make it much moar interesting!
Maybee wee shud be uzing teh arrows wif just teh littlol sukshun cup awn teh end?
Ai think – ai just THINK – if teh arrows were sharp. . . An if we axe shoe alley HIT teh mooving targets, wich is NAWT verree laikely *big breth* . . .:oops: Ai furgot waht ai wuz saying!
hurump..wattz awl da nois.
*goez bak 2 unconchious steak*
Whut u were saying was that it is ur turn. G’ahed. Shoot!
*krawls tword teh kowch*
*barfs*
Janet! I think u hit one!
Ifn ennybody getz hurts, we culd call da Para-medik Menz!
Uh ohh! Ai think AP iz a littlol sik.
Taht wuz reelee powerful stuff tath kimkiwi browt!!
*wypes APs fayce off*
Heer – AP – a nice glass ov water.
An THEN – ai think yoo shud just lye down awn teh kowtch.
An ai will cover yoo up wif this nice sawft blankee.
Yoo dint REELEE think LCB an ai wud shoot you, did yoo??
*haz a werried*
Phankeesh, channit *urp* diddit wurrURK? fyrmins heer?
hurump..wattz awl da nois.
*goez bak 2 unconchious steak*
[fyremens arribe adn administer stomach pump tew AP adn noodle]
Dat’ll lern ya’z!
Teh gud gnus is dat AP and noodle awr porterhowse adn chesterfield free adn are free tew move about cheezland.
u cud jus sett ur hous on fyre. dat wud werk. ai fink sew.
u cud sleepz inda tree. lukz com4tabel.
yea, dats it, wun ob da high upz limz. den da fyrmenz wud havto return an savez u in da mornin.
nawt secund u byte das hedz off……
den u………(enibodi else noes diz plaintif ditty?)
Google iz mah frend! Is this waht yoo were looking for?
Version I:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I’ll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Version II:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Think I’ll go eat worms.
Big fat juicy ones, Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
See how they wiggle and squirm.
Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice
And throw their tails away
Nobody knows how I survive
On worms three times a day.
Version III:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
I’m goin’ down the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones, short fat fuzzy ones
Ooey gooey, ooey gooey worms
Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
Short fat fuzzy ones don’t
Short fat fuzzy ones stick in your teeth
And the juice goes slurpin’ (slurping noise) down your throat
Version IV:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
think I’ll go eat worms…
big fat juicy ones, little slimy skinny ones,
hope they don’t have germs!”
Yup. Mai sistur yoozd tu (prolly still duz) sing dat alla tyme.
Prolly as menny verzhuns as der is peepls.
Aifink hurz wuz cloasest tu nummer tuu.
Grossd meh owt, so ai nawt membur tuu gud, sumfin lyke…
Furst u bytes teh hedds awf, den u skweez teh guts owt…
(dats wen ai turnded awf mai eerz)
We yoozed tu sing that at Gyrl Skout Kamp!
..mebbe worms iz sekrit ingreedyint in Gyrl Skout Kookies!
U meen iz noe gyrl skouts in teh cukkees??
Nawt dat I noe of, adn I wuz a gyrl skout fur 13 years. I sould alotalot of cukkees, tu.
[passes bak teh brownies]
Mai sistur sang id lyke dis:
Nobodee laiks mi, evrybudee hayts mi
Go inna garden eeta WURMZ
Beeg fat joosy 1s, liddle biddy skinni 1s
Go inna garden eeta wurm and DAI!
We sang like dis:
Nobodee laiks me, evrybudee hats mi
I gonna go eat wurmz
First wun Yuk
Secund wun Yuk
Fird wun stuck to my tung
Forth wun Yuk
Fif wun Yuk
Sixth wun Yum yum yum!
We yoost tu eet warm wurmz in a cheezy sorss !!
Mum wud maik
us eet itit foar us sumtiemz !!Macaroni Wurmz, ai rimemba !!
Um, speekin ub wurms, duz ennybunny speek slitherin? Or, ifn nawt, and ifn yoo haz 2 hanz free, cud pleez be pulling this corn snake OFFA me? I finkso her hed iz in my T-shirt sleeb, but her tayle iz in my hair, rite there by me eer?
OH! ai lykes taht won best! Hi, pj!
um, pj? am yoo habbink a free hand? I finkso radisher iz um wrapped around myarghhhh froa…onoze te! muh, pant pant….frote…hapl….
*Calls fyremens* *Fixes hair* *Applies manee makeups*
OOOH! pj! yoo are teh jeenyus! I wud nawt hab thawt ub that. Mebbee cawz when we haz had fyremans here, well, wuz nawt happytayle tymes, y’noze? Thaze ahwaze eethur turning us into DEQ (POOF! yur DEQ!) AND telling teh landlady how ebil we is, to be trying to burn out teh blackberries ub doom, becuz they is “noxious weeds” and illegal and we cud be fined fur habbing them, or be fined fur burning them out….ware wuz I? Oh yef,! Teh otter 4 tymes tehy beeen heer wuz ahwaze to be haulin awf taht ole stinky troll…
But! We haz surbibed awl, and groan , well, mebbee nawt stronger, but closer, an moar payshunt. hee hee, moar payshunt, y’noze, cuz tr0ll wuz a …nebber mind, I nebber az funny az aifinkinso!
OH! HEY EVERYBODY! SNAKE 4 RENT! GUARANTEED TO ATTRAKT FYREMENZ, AS SOON AZ SHE RAPS AROUND YUR NECK, KWIKLY DIAL 911, SNAKE FUR RENT, 25 MUNNIES! EMAYO SUNNYHUCKLE!
PSSST! PJ!
ai splits teh munnies wif yoo, 50/50, cuz iz yur idee, but snakie iz in MY custody. “K?
You can has snakee.
wow, datz alotta vershionz ob dat song.
a berri looong tyme ago, wii (mi systrz an mi cuzinz an mi ants) wud sing :
*ahem, grrr, coff* la la la *stanz on da sydewalk in gnu haben conectikut at mi grammaz weigh bak in 1955*
♪ ♫ ♪ nobodi likez mi, ebberibodi h8s mi
aim goin outto eet wermz
big fat gooey 1s , liddle bitti skinni ones
aim goin out2 eet wermz
furst u byte da hedz off
den u suckz da juice out
den u throwz da skinz aweigh.
♪ ♫ ♪ ♪
knot sew sofistikated as da 4 versonz u found.
fankz 4 da extra chorusuz.
ai will email dem to mi ♪ ♪ ♫ syterz an mi cuzins an mi antz ♪♪ ♫ ♪
Wo0t!! HMS Pinafore ref!!! FTW!!!!!
Ha! a fellow G&S fan ai see!
ai hopez yous wherin ur pina4.
Did sumwun sae HMS Pinafoar?
y yesh, mi liddle buttercup!
Ai’m cawl Littlol Buddurcup poar littlol Buddurcup tho ai kin neber
tell whai. Butt(!) still ai’m cawled Buddurcup, poar littlol Buddurcup, swete littlol Buddurcup Ai!
ohai, Princess! Iz geed to see yoo heer!
Um, good! yes, yes, good. sumbuddy must’ve moobed my e ober by my o, or somefing. Was probly teh snake.
Ohai Sunny adn Meesh
Ai haz nebber herd ob dis sawng! Aifinkso wee ar kulturelly deprieved in Noo Jerzee. We haz lotz ob wurmz tho!
But, but, but I needs teh fyremanz. For fyremanz-related stuff. As far as you know.
Teh kitteh iz too yung an in a scent!
Ai doo nawt think she wud understand!
Idonfink kittehs are eber innascent!
u gotted dat rite flyingkai
da kittehz haz purrfected dat look. *lukz ata kitty* ohai little kitty, yous iz sew kute!.
ohai kimkiwi.
iz u wun ob dem byrdz dat kannot fli? mai kittehz wud lik 2 meat u.
*extendz floofy paw of frenchips*
ai hopez da urthqwack didn due much damagez. hear in southrn kalifornia, wii awl keep trac ob de urthz shakin.
Ai felted wun juss a kupplol dayz ago!
Wuz onleh a littlol wun inna negst town ober (3.2, piffle).
Bin a lawng tyme sinss we had wun, wuz kinda kuul!
(ai knoz, kayrful whut ai wishez fur
)
♫♫♫ai feelz da urth mob unda mii pheet, ai feelz da ski kum tumblin downz wenebber use around ♫ ♪ ♫
LOL!! Yoo seem to have a sawng fur ebreething tonite!
ahem
♪ ♫ 2nite, 2nite wont b jus eny nite ♪ ♪
Random linkee
Oooooh! didja see? didja see? was Elis! He wuz in teh fyre, and in teh ocean, and again in the smoke, and…and…and! He wuz wonna teh guise inna red uniform, and!…aifinkso he was eeting a worm!
Oh, poor Elvis! I still love you sweets!
Elvis!, not Elis.
BRAVA!!!
LOL!! the “Brava” wuz fur noodle!
But yrs iz funne, too!
fankz 4 da werms. berri tastee.
Ifz Liddill Kitteh
lubz t3h Fyrezmenz andz clymez t3h
Tree awll byez hurrzself!
Prittee Wun habz keez
2 Nawtee Bawrn. Wawntz Fyrezman
4 sum cummpannee!!
Liddill Kitteh woodz
lykes handsumm Tawm Fyrez Kitteh
2 cumz resskew hurz!!!
Jack.
clappity, clappity
yep da kitteh iz a rascel.
Dat kitteh luk kinda lyk sandcat.
Tehse kittehs ar byootimuss! Want!! Nebber seeed oar herd ov befaw. “Kitteh – wat beeg eerz u hav!!” Awl teh bedder tu…..
SPLORT!
oh noes!! OCM is down!
*opens up teh portable CCC hamper*
*scoops up all teh brains and rinses them in sparkling waturs*
*puts brains back in hed with soft ducky tape*
*leads OCM to lounge wif lawts of sweets and hawt chawklit*
Now no moar to be lukin at teh cute kittehs wifout extry tite CHRG, k?
Heer, tehse spessificayshenz foar local drainz shud keep yoo saif !!
*weekly lifts hed an lukks at drainz specs* Eww! Fanks, PB.
Dis Sand kitteh lukks lyk a craws bitween a fawx an a red panda aifinkso.
OH! Splort alert lebbel elebenty!!!!
Pleez be sekyooring yur geer!
oh, my! WANTS!
Cyrano adn Sofia wer awn teh kowch wiff meh way ai playingd dis.
Dey wuz beri innerested in teh pretteh kittehz in teh majik windoe.
Radisher was fascinated by teh computer screen. She’s a handfull, but, ebery tyme I scrolled, she stretched out to the screen, and was mesmerized.
ai libbs nawt 2 far from sinsinnattee… maight hafta mayk an ekspedishun just tu c dese sandkittehs!
iffen ai cants put yoo in teh tree den ai’m gonna hafta start settin fings on fyre…
*klymz teh tree*
*powts*
*klymz klymz klymz teh tree to keeps AP cumpny* Wenz fyremens comes, AP, u spoze we kin helps noodle wif dat “unconshious steak?” I bin droolin’ fur a loooong time.
Weighs tu get teh fyremens here….
A kitteh inna tree
Burnin’ da haus
Cawling 911
D….
Deff defying (oar nawt) feets
Emerjensee! Emerjensee! Ebrywun tu get frum street!
Fallin owtta treez (wye dem tayk so lawng?)
G…
Go tew uh pancake breakfast.
Hab an appendix (oar DeGaulle bladder) asplode.
Ignite sum kindling inna feeld.
J…
Jelly donuts
Kidlet lockt in baffroom
Lost gramma
Maybeh dey giv safe t demon strations
N…
Nyne Wun Wun – Dile !! * nawt in yoorp or oz, obcorss *
Offa tu wosh teh truk
Pritty-pleeze
Q..
Quicksannd inna middlol ob de rode
Randum akts uv burrningnesse
Skreeming “fyre! fyre!” at teh toppa yr lungz
T…
Time to inspect smoke detractors
Unveiling ov new hero statue
Very strange noises commin frum basement
W…
Wale ai juss lyks dem
Xsiting immergincees
Yelling at teh tawp ov a bilding
Zoo – stukk in teh lionz cayj.
Doggies barkin at her
Evebryone in dah neyborhood awaykin
Firemenz climbin intew der truks
G..,
ohai Sgtpepperandjujube
aiz pleezed 2 b makin ur aqwaintince *extendz floofy paw ob frenchipz* iz ur name da namez ob ur kittehz?
b chur 2 hit repli 2 da comint u r comintin awn. ottrwize ur comint will end up heer, weigh downthred.
Goodgoodgood fyre to burn out blackberries ub doom!
(taht won brought 3 fyretrucks and a BUNCH UB fyremans! And, they came back later to be making shoor did not reignyte and burn down teh whole nayborhud!
snerk, got blackberries? (plants, nawt elektronikal!)
Butt, I NEED teh fyremenz!
**STOMPS fut, stiks owt lowur lip**
‘Taint fair.
There iz a exhibition foar dat?!?
Ai fot it wuz jest teh fing dat made six pack dates possible.
Sadlee, I has never been to wun.
[licks fingers]
Whale, dat ‘taint fair, ai tell ya wut.
[books tikkets tew teh AVN convenshun in Vegas]
Duz I wanna kno wut AVN convenshun iz?
I be watchin King Of The Hill an yoo “sownded” lyk him.
[admits duzzn't know wut it stands foar, but it involves adult video]
[and pizza flour ai fink]
Ever notive how Hank sounds a lot like Tom Anderson on Beevis and Butthead?
I never watched Beevis an Butthed mutch, butt I kno dat iz by teh saym cree-aytur.
ai heered somewere dat Beevis adn Butt(!)hed wurr kommin back!
Dis kitty mus’ be pwetty sshtubbon, heesh prolly gonna claw da fiaman
Test…
c)
Was tryin to giv schmoos to Princess Buttercup, Butt(!) wp nawt havin it.
Let’s c) if dis werks.
Ding ding ding! c is correct!
Yay!! Waddo ai win? Huh? Huh?
You wins an all expense paid trip fer too too…..wait for it….
Western Austrailia!!!!! Congradulashuns!!
Woo hoo! Woot! Yipp….wait….wat?
Speech speech!
ohai, AP! How was teh play tonight?
We had an awdienss ob foar!
Is wun fing fur teh kast tu owtnumbur teh haus, but bai a faktur ob free? Oh well, ai has dun a sho fur wun, adn ebry awdienss dezerbs a full sho. Its a holliday weekend, adn we alreddy has 30 presaylz fur teh nawt-sekkund matinay (mebbe ai gets tu du badjer??), so ai nawt wurreed. Whut will be, will be.
Well, then, I guess so it is good yoo was nawt eggspekting a paycheck from the receipts!
How much does it cost to see the play? And, was yoo Badger tonite?
Reglar tikkits ar16 munneez, diskownt (fru goaldstar) haff dat.
Adn no, ai has nawt bin badjur inna akshyooal performinss. I did it lass nyte in teh pikkup rehursul tu be shoor ai cud du it awl if needed, but teh reglar aktor is still otay enuff. But hims nawt spozed tu be inna sun, so mebbe ai gets tu du teh matinayz eben iffn he stays well enuff tu perform (hims recubberin frum Lymez diseez).
Adn nao ai see wye u nawt get no nawt-sekkunds… teh negst lol (a bideo) is alreddy up.
Too minny pritty kittehs here tonite. Teh won in teh tree is gorgeous, and those sand kittehs bowt pushed me ober teh edge!
Yeff, beri byootimus *gibs sunneh a extra-strenff CHRG*