dis is not da magic carpit ride i piktured
Picture by: Kim Maydan Caption by: kim maydan via Our LOL Builder
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dis is not da magic carpit ride i piktured
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Reality. Whut a concept.
Conga carpit kitteh tu yu, lcb, yu leeds teh wai. An tu anni foar hurz tye!!
Conga kittehz, LCB! Yu iz awn teh tawp!
Conga rats LCB, dis closest i eber getz tu nawt seccond, u haz qwikkeee fingers, ifinkso!
Thx, guise! How ’bout we has kebabs and peeta breads and humminahummus? Then we danse, and rly cut a rug!
Wee can has bellee dans?? Pweese???????
I was just gonna suggestify that!
*puts on jingly coin belt*
*shimmy shimmy shimmyshimmy*
*rib slide rib slide*
*snake arms snake arms shimmy shimmy rib slide*
*hip drop hip drop snake arms hip drop*
*shimmyshimmyshimmyshimmyshimmyshimmyshimmyshimmy*
*jazz snake arms*
…wurds fail mii…
Mesmerizing, ain’t it?
Yu culd say dat, yesh…
I already did.
What was it particularly?
My sultry costume?
Teh seductive swaying?
Teh rolls of flesh that shimmy all on their own?
Ai liekd teh jazz snaek arms.
That’s not easy to do, u know. One wrong move and u can totally sprain ur spleen. *nods*
Awl ov teh above?
Mmmmm. Saowndz mommy! An teh rug ia awlreddee rolld up fur teh dansin!
*tryz tu du teh bellee dans*
*faylz compleetlee*
Ai ges Ai needz tu bee yungr
*Helfs KT tu hur feetz*
*Hans hur uh wittlol pare ob fingur symbals*
Heer, twy it dis wai.
*Niser shaykes hur thang*
Ooooo, noysee maikrz! Aiz gud at dat!
*kachingchingching in rivim fur teh dansdansdansin*
magik carpetz: sum opshenul akesoriez showed but nawt includedings.
I’z nawt moobin
There is not even any tasslols to play with. Hmph.
dos r 4 14.99 xtra.
Each?
yesh, butt (!) ifn yoo buys a pak uf fore den yoo gets dis rusty owld lap fur free! hoo cud say no?
U mean *this* rusty old lamp? Hmph.
*gets idear*
Mabye if I shine it up a little it will look nicer.
*rubs lamp*
*KERPOOF*
Uh-oh!! LCB haz vanished in a KerPoof!!!
2 bad. She culd hav bought dis brass lamp shiner 4 only 7.99.
*disembodied voice*
Um, guise? A little halp?
*lissens*
Did u heer sumfing??
Soundz like a discombobulated voyse??
*lissens sum moar.*
Guess i b majining fingz. *shrugz*
! !
hmmm…mebbeh ifn ai leevs dis big bag uf shiney stuff on dis tayblol adn walk away, lcb mite fynd hurself drawn bak home…? *scatturs teh shiney stuff on teh tablol adn runsawaywifakwikniss*
! !
oh, wellz. itz probably teh crazie voicez in yur hed again.
*takez pill tu make deh voycez go way.*
NONONO! NOT TEH RED PILL!
*Growz berry berry tawl.*
Onoes! MKM wii knead ur tatur gun ober hear.
Donot be teh worries! Is ok. I got smallified, and with no ill effects. As far as I know.
welz, noh tatur gun fourfcomyng soh wyl haz tew ewes mai slyngee-shawt.
*loadz littlol bottlol dat sez “Drink Me” awn it intu da slyngee-shawt dat wuz in the mai bak pokkit adn shootz it in da jenurul dyrekshun ob cmj’s voyce*
Don’t drink tu much, oar we’ll hab to start awl obber agin! Oh yeah, adn dere is a slight chance dat dis will turn yu orinj!
*luks inna lamp*
Ohai, LCB! Wuld yu lyke tu get outta dere? Alice…y noe, Teh Alice, leff summa deez on da tablol.
*drops a beri small caek wiff da werds “eet mii” on it.
Oops…letz awl preetind dat der werd “in” is rite afftur “drops”, kthx!
Oooh! Caek! nomnomnomnom
*begins to shimmy only not in a bellehdance kinda way*
*KERFOOP!*
*LCB has growed to be elebenty stories high*
Um, guise? A littlol halp?
Uh oh….wot hab ai dun?
Well, at leest nao yu won’t hafta wear ohai heels tu luk taller!
But… but… I has a scared of hites!
Umm…whyle yur up dere culd ya wuld pleez get dat kitteh offa da tawp ob da carpet, kthxgointulukfurdashrinkdeedinkeeposhun*
*picks up teh disappointed kitteh*
*slips him into pokket*
*tries not to look down*
Okay, diz awhta halp!
*loadz littlol bottlol dat sez “Drink Me” awn it intu da tater gun dat wuz in the bak ob da garaj adn shootz it in da jenurul dyrekshun ob LCB’s voyce*
Don’t drink tu much, oar we’ll hab to start awl obber agin! Oh yeah, adn dere is a slight chance dat dis will turn yu purplol!
Purplol am a wunnerfull color, aifinkso!
*sipsipsipsipsip*
*shrinkshrinkshrinkshrink*
*ripripripriprip* (that’s teh kitteh braking outta teh pokket)
*looks around*
Everything seems to be all back to norbal. Thx!
*skips away wifout looking in meeror*
*skips up tu LCB*
Ohai lcb!! Yu luuk berry…..uh…..berrie!
*pretends to understand*
Um, and u look, um, kinda pineappley!
Oh, uh, fankyu!
*Shuffulls feetz, luukz at grownd*
Um….yoar compweckshun, hao it getz sew…..perple??
Who teh whut, now?
Yu luuks lyke teh wittlol gurl awn Willee Wonka dat atez teh blueberrie candee dat hur wuznt spozed tu.
*scoffs*
U must be teh seeing things.
*looks in meeror*
Eeep!
*faints*
Myte ai sujjezt a yallo tyntid conseelur fawloed bai sum heabee fowndashinz?
*Getz owt teh smellin saltz….wayves unner lcb’s noze*
*applies concealer*
How’s that?
Too much?
Izze uh wittlol tu ohai!
U could say that another time, kitteh! *shudders*
U can haz dis fing bowt ohai playsiz, doncha?
*nods*
Haow yu git dis fing tu go?
Hao ai getz up heer?? Hao ai getz down??
*Wisperz*
Datz wut yur clawz iz fur.
But, but…kitteh noe lyke tu bak upz. Dat iz, unles der hed iz stuk inna bag oar uh sok, den dey instantlee beekum teh bestest bakkers awn teh planit! Mai guess iz dat dis kitteh wil jumpp wuns himz getz tiyerd ob bein up der.
…come along liddle gurl ….on a majic carpet ride……earwurm!!
Boi, I haytz it win reealittee innerfeerz wif mai lyf…
.
Con-CAT-enayshunz, LCB! U gitted teh tawp spawt, n ebben fasturer dan annipuss (witch izza tuff fing 2 dew!)
Stoopee WP — dis wuz spowsta goe unner LCB’s nawt-sekkund kawmint… *pout*
I might have pulled teh rug out from under her. Just a littlol.
Iz dat wye Ai went kersplatt?!
But at least u landed on teh soft part of teh, um, teh *mumbles*hardwood floor*mumbles*
Iz OK, Ai aer well paddid!
FWIW, u looked teh vry graceful as u was hurtling toward teh floor wifaquickness.
Akshullee, I finksew dere b “deep pile” n heer…
Deep pile uv wat eggzaklee?
Err… Umm… uh, karpit! Yeh, karpit! “Deep pile” karpit! Datz watt it iz!
Dass ok den! Ai had a wurrid!
Hay! Is dat mai carput yoo gotz dere?!?! Gerrorf!!!
Oh luuk, kitteh haz uh brown floofy belleh wut machez teh carpit!!
Nao plz to halp meh getting down off heer.
U kan’t git down off a carpet! U gitz down off a duk.
Doncha lub recyclold elolofant jokez? :snerk:
Teh awld wunz aer teh best wunz!
I b teh nowin watt U meen. Y, dis berree moarnin, I shooted uh lolefant n mai pajammeez. Haow teh lolefant gitted n mai pajammeez I wheel nebber noe…
xqze mi a momunt, ai haz tu taek mai mynd tu teh NB.
*Facepaw*
Eye iz a littlol slowz on da uptake. Naow eye luks lyke a ideeot laffin muh hedz owf in da office. At leest eyez by muself so nowon cans maykes fun ob mee.
Grr.. dat was supposed ta goes unner Aahz’s string
*oooh String!*
*adhd kitteh luks for play string dat doesn’t exsist*
*Tosses string*
Oh Hai, nomnomburp!
*offerz floofy paw uv frendship*
I don’t finso wii haz metted b4. I b cweenmj!
Welkum tu cheezland!
Deh onliest ruul here b tu playing nice.
I hazza blog wif newz adn info fur deh cheezpeepz, just klikkifying on mai bloo name and u will b majikloly taken tu it.
Cheez!
Majik carpit ryding: Kitteh iz doin it rawng!
Kitteh dydunt reed teh opurraturz mamewal.
But not for teh reason u think. Kitteh can read, but he doesnot has opposable thumbs to turn teh pages.
Kitteh is in crow’s nest
waiting for his friend crow
Tey habin ice cream
And then danse a ho ho!