Ohai, ossifer! Joo know, I not really as look as it drunks like I am.
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The Lady of Broccolishireham
sober azza jujge!
*mayks a noat nawt tu kommit enny krymz in carosuez joorisdikshun*
DAT dwunk?
Yoo shur yoo nawt libs ware I duz, carosue?
Dere iz a lolyer heer who got in2 less trubblol (den teh uthur lolyerz him wuz inbolbed wif) cuz him claymed him wuz alkyhawlik an nawt kno wut him wuz doin.
Ack…dats eben pathetikker dan da “twinkee deefenze”…sheesh! *shakes hed*
Ai nao being home going will.
Ai juss notissd… is anubber Winnie-Wonka lol! Woot!
*pownsez*
TAG! yur itt!
*runrunrunzawaiwiffakwikknesstewhyde*
*hic*
*urp*
**gibs AP a bloo bukkit, jestin caes**
Nawt to be axkin ware dat came frum, ‘k?
*blarghh*
Da lolrus not going to be too happy about that…
Ai juss ment to fawl down heer…
Kitteh nao will wash nether parts.
Or try to- butt (!) fall ober and roll into ditch.
Snerk! *Gigglols* “Nether parts” Put yer foot in da air like ya juss don’t care!
Purr-tind deres lotsa companee an do it inna middlol of teh libbin room floor!
Woo-hoo!
And then do da dreded butt scootch of shame, for an oncore.
ROFL!!!
Ohai AfriCat! Lawng taim sinse Ai has seed u, hao has u bin?
Ohai Catsablanca! I is fyne fanks. Bin in Souf Afreeka furr lawnnnnngggg vacashun an aiz naow bak in teh dessurt! Nyce tu sea yu again.
Nyce taht u gawt tu goe hoem fur a bisit. Wish Ai culd stae adn plae, butt(!) iz 3:35AM adn Ai needs tu goe tu bed. Stay well!!! {{{{{{AfriCat}}}}}}
Sleep tyte! {{{{{Catsablanca}}}}}
Taeks pitee awn a poor hoemless kitteh, pls?
*goez ober tu kitteh …*
oh, u sed pitee. *zzzip* neber mynd.
Sumbudy spiked the nip, onestly!
So u admit u were hittin de nip, ehh??
yu duz nawt hit nip. What has it eber dun to…neber mynd.
In Sobiet Russia, nip hitz u. Noe, wayte….it duz taht enneware. Hence teh slouched kitteh.
I lubs the kitteh’z thick bushy tail
Nipz is gud fur kitteh’z furz
*nods*
Was dat pity so myk parti?
A.P. mayd a pwrity phuny! gud won
I sware to drunk I’m nawt CC!
Nao dat ai beleeve.
Doan wurry red, no-wun finks ur CC.
**powts**
Wuddnt be much fun, for eeber ob us, so no need tu powt.
{{{red}}} *hedbonk*
Fanks, AP.
Lyk teh sawng sez, “Nawty gurlz needz lub too.”
Gud gurlz get tu goe tu hebbin. Bad gurlz get tu goe ebbreware.
Hmmm. Ai think nawty gurls mite get More lub…
Nawt dis wun.
U knoz what dey sayz bout good girls rite
Good grrls goes to heaven
Bad grrls goes ebrywhere!
Wayle, I did go to 2 diffrint Wally-Whirlds awn 3 diffrint okayshuns 2day…
There u go!
I finds dem berry depressing, epecially deh super center that ar close to me.
Adn “oanleh teh gud dye yung”
en dat cays wee mite lib furevur.
FAYM!
Put your pawz where I can see them
Awl of dem, at wunse?
Dunno ifn I kin do dat rite now.
frunt pawz plz
hur duz habb a poynt….iz nawt tew pawsiblol tew bii puttink awl foor pawz inn teh ayr…
ai culd, iffn ai yoosed mai wingz…
I tellin teh troof, ossifer! I iz not drunk, jest haz teh dislexicness! What haz teh dislecksic kitteh evver dunz tu yooz?
Dribe me drunk. I’m hoam!
Kitteh had one to many margareetas
**puts arm arown 2_k**
I lubs yoo, man!
I lubs you 2, now gib me your car keez
Wut car keez?
I dunno nuffin abowt no car keez.
**gibs 2_k teh skroo-dryvur hur yoozes to hawt-wyre hur kar**
Iz bad enuff dat shez awl drunkifyed adn sutch, butt(!) nao yu twyin tu steel herz car tu???
Ur rite, MKM!
Nawty 2_k! Yoo bin taykin lessons from LCB?
Clutches her invisblol pearls
oh how rude
I wuz jus gonna dribes the drunk kitteh home
mah motives dey is pure
*as far as you knowz*
Ware did ya get dem purlz ya awlwayz clutchin?
Yah, I finkso yoo haz bekome LCB’s noo minyun.
I ar an independent opurator
I no wants to share the booteh wid anyone
Ai’z nawt drunkeded….ai’z jus rillee rillee relaaaactz….*klunk*
**slydez pillow unner MKM**
Manks fuchly! *hic* Iz beri mete tu niez yu, wai da bi!
*extends floofy bunneh paw awt tu awl free ob rhsb*
**duzznt know witch wun of MKM’s elebenty paws to shayk**
Ohai! Nyse to meetcha too.
Whoa…doooood! Ai haz elebenty paws?!
*tries tu git up*
*klunk*
Hao kum nun ob dem bi werkin rite? *hic*
Mebbe wii be relaytid? I nawt berry co-ordinaytid.
Borked my toez awn my nawt-sekkund weddin nite.
Wuz teh omen, I finkso.
*snerk*
ohai, rhsb!
Oh koolness….an “oopsy” sistah!!
Aifinkso ai’z nawt gonna bii askin eggactlee HAO yu borked yur toez awn yur weddin nite!
CC duz gib us da omens in weerd wayz sumtimes, huh? 
I wuz nawt doin ennyfing fun wen it happind.
I wuz walkin to teh baffroom bare-fuutid to brush teh elebenty cans of Akwa-Net outta my hares wen I hanged my toez awn teh door fasin.
Lotsa uthur Cheezfrenz be teh clumzee, nawt jest me.
Akwa-net?
Yup.
Wuz hare-spray dat camed inna can, wuz populolar bak inna 80′s. Relee cheep.
Altho, my nawt-sekkund weddin wuz in 2001.
….okaiz….
yoo neededed /dat/ mucch hare-spray?
Yup.
I had teh Suvvern Womin Big-Hare.
ohz….
Hoo u calling clumzee??? *Luks at arm brayse adn leg brayse* Nebber maind.
PeeEss: Mai arm has seen teh lait ov dae fur teh nawt sekond taim n elebenty minus tu weekweeks!!! Muss yoos sunskreen awn teh pael skin sinse Ai libs n Floriduh. Sunburn, du nawt want!
Ohai new frend! waves floofy paw…falls ober on back- oops!
*waves floofy paw bak*, or mebbe dat shuld be *waves paw at luvscatsva hoo iz awn her bak*
Rillee gotzta goe nao! *poof*
*iz snerking*
Iz yoo giiz drunkz? Cuz I r notz! *extends elebenty-ziks paws to shayk* Ohai I r Choco Kitteh, niez to meet yoo. I swarez, I iz not drunK! *klunk*
Ohai, Choco Kitteh….Ai donut fink wii has meeted b4. Ai seez u is a Chocaholic. Pls donut b hazzing splorts just tu git teh choklit possums…..tehy r abailable free at teh Tybooteek. Has u bin tehre yet? Aifinkso wii shuld go bisit it adn sii whut else is tehre. *Eggstenz floofy orinj (nawt poysin) paw of frenship*
*shayks* Whear iz teh Tybooteek? I do luvs meh sum choklit…
Kantz nobudies kraw hom phrum the Jellicle Ball? ossifers ain’t what de uwsed tu bee…..Iz tirsty
Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do, Jellicles do and Jellicles would, Jellicles would and Jellicles can, Jellicles can and Jellicles do, Jellicles can and jellicles do…
Can find your way blind when you’re lost in the street? Do you know how to go to the Heavyside Layer?…..
heh….dat sawng izz stukk inn mai hed nao…
Jus cheking, iz sawng stiwl inn hed at dis tym ob da clok? cuz iz tm to starz de hol muzicatal ober again. yu ma bigins wif enny sawng but dat “Rum Tum Tugger” or “Old Gumby Cat” Du nawt tink ob der iz a gumby cat ai know…….sleepz wewl wif catical dwems
I finkso dis sawng be appropryit….
I don’t why but I lubs this song!
Me too!
I lubs watchin “Cops”. My fren an I yoosed to watching it ebery Caturday nite.
I even been lissenin to teh poleese skannur awnline at werk. Dey iz teh funnee!
eh, purrsunalee, ai liek showz liek dat bayt carr wun…
DK’s heer! Him kin be owr dezignaytid drybur.
Luuk owt, DK. 2_k be tryin to steel my kar.
whut car?
All Ur carz are belonging to me!
Ermmm…sawree, butt ai nawt can dribe–ai nawt hab teh lisense tew dribe…
Haoeburr, wii cannz awlwaez yooze teh trayne…ai knoez teh kitteh dere….
*singz kwietlee*
Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat, the Cat of the Railway Train!….
Donut worry I dribes, hop in we takes red’s car fur a spin!
…ai dunfinksew datt ai canz trusst yoo dribink rite nao….
YAYZ! I r random kitteh who cannot dribez tonite eeder! ‘badd boiz badd boiz a-watcha gunna dew? a-whatchay gunna dew wen dey cumz fer yoo?’
Oh! heerz teh bideeyo!
*crossez fingurz datt itt werkz*
“Iz teh drunk pee-yanno playur. Him prolly seein dubblol.”
“I haz 2 gunz, wun foar eetch of yoo.”
Who wantz to go get moar?
MEH!!!!! PICK MEH FOR TEH BERE RUNN!!!!!!
Hallo?
Ohai, Mel!
Joynin teh partee?
*hic*
I ‘peerz tu bii a liddel layt. Adn mai linkee nawt werking.
Ohai Mel-hazza margareeta!
Ckrackin a cold one? Gots more?
Shur!
**hanz ovur cool beveridj of eagleghostwind’s choyse**
Yoo stil haz morez?
*swares*
Sry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPTblJlTUX4
Hallo? who yous be talkin to?
Hmmm- Ai asked u a kwestion butt WP seems to have eaten it- let me rephrase. Are u de cheezfren formerly called “5-E”??
Ai wuz wunnering teh saem fing. 5E wuz spozed tu has himz sirjery n May oar June….hoep him iz doin fyne.
Ai wuld lub tu stay adn see hao dis pawrtee endz, butt(!) ai gotta goe maek da noms nao. Hmmm….mebbe “drunken chikkin”. *snerk*
*sprinklols Happee Dai dust awn awl da CheezPeeps*
Ta ta fur nao
Bye-bye!
OMCC!! dere’z fyerwerkz owtsyde!!
IRL, dat iz….
Strypee Kitteh mixxt
t3h green CatzNipz wiff Hewminz’
strawng Likkwiddz CatzNip!
Strypee Kitteh shoodz
knoez bettah. Himz willz waykz up
wiff massibb heddayk!!
Strypee Kitteh willz
nawt fool himz Prittee Wun. Shoodz
gibz up wenz ahedd!!!
Jack.
Ohhhh, Jack, jack, jack. *face-pawm*
ossifur, es nawt mai fawlt teh wurld keyps spynin.
stawp teh whirld–ai watnz awff!
Gud nite awl!
I’z nawt unner da alkafluenz uf inkahawl!
(Wif ‘pologees 2 Zilch da Torysteller)
Okay, I take ur sobritee test. I can count!
One tew tree elebenty bleen!
…sowndz abowt rite tew meh!
Plz put rite finger on left nosey. Hop on rite foot and recite alphamabet backwardz.
buttt….ai onlee haz wun noes!
Wrong anser. You can has rite to remain silentz. I ment nose tril. *Gets out cuffs*
hims may has teh rite, butt butt afinks hims duz nawt has teh abilitee.
Ron White ref! 8)
…okai…ai has absolootlee no eyedeeya wut yoo mented…
…ok, keep talkin…
…abowt wut??
mebbeh ai’z jusst obbar-tyered…iz liek 2 inn teh mornink rite nao…
“Caught! …by ceiling cat”!
Poor kitteh had na “ich”
Love this LOL, hab goodiestes gnues, now has 6 kittehs, got gnu babie boy kitten kitteh, hiz naem iz Dusty !!!!!!! Iz grey an white floofy( I hope) maybe changes hiz naem to ” Walking Tummy alwayz empties Feedz Mei” Dusty iz shortness for Stardust az he haz dots ov greyness on his bellie that he iz so proud of he has to roll over an shows them off alla timez foar rubbins the tiny belleh. Whee!!!!!!!
Corn cat shoelaces Sandrainia6kittehs!!! Yur Dusty sownds gorgeous! Enjoi teh bebbeh/kitten tyme!
dat bee gud knewz! kitteh muzzt hab a wunderfullmus tiem in da forebbur-hoam! Duztie, awwwwwww…..
*hik* escusai mai gud nite Cheezdweems to awl. *hik mow mow hik* ders dat soft curbin*aiz laiz mai hed dow on striped fwen………..seep ing*
The funny thing is ‘ossified’ means drunk
bin dere, yestahday =)
I’m as want as I drunk a be!!!!
Tooh kwoht a hawt-lipped maijor, “I’m not so think as you drunk I am!”
frends dont let frends go out on catnip.