Drastic measures are often necessary when tattletale brother is about to blab to Mom.
Picture by: lemonqueen Caption by: Tandramere via Advanced Lol Builder
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Drastic measures
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mom!!!!!!!!!!
must resqu gammacat…..
Stealing space at the top of the LOL:::
ATTENSHUN!!
Our own TessM is quoted in a New York Times article. Skate on over to:
h t tp://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/14/technology/internet/14burger.html?scp=1&sq=cheezburger&st=cse to check it out. And close the gap in the addie to get there.
gud artacil
lukz like da cheezepeepz filleded up da ballparc.
ai wood’ve liked a bobbelheed but weigh 2 far 2 dribe. sovern cal 2 seattel..
fankies fur shayrin dat!
eggsellent kwote frum TessM!
LOL x elebentee &
SPLORRRTTT!!!!
*thud*
Dis iz nawt a gud lol to get a splort awn! Splooch there while I go call nine elebenty!
I shal send mai kitteh Amarillo, the anti-splort. Hold on!
Oh noes, red alert red alert … code kitteh elebenty gammacat is splorted.
weeooooweeeeeooooooo CCC pulz in an drivez upz onda cidewalk were gc is lyin in brian puddle.
so much grey matter, oh the medulla oblongata…
*vacumz up braynes adn rinses wif expenciv pellagrineo mineral waterz*
*Plopz da brainy stuff bak inna skull anscrewz da skull cap on tite*
*Raps da ducky tape around, an around an around hers hed*
*Fitz da CHRG wDOI tite onda hed den moore ducky tape aroun an aroun*
*Pullz out softee blankee wiff tunas swimmin onit an rappz up *
* carriz da limpy bodi 2 da safe rum. gibs gc sum hawt choklit adn a choklit possum.*
*speakz in softy voice*
donut luk animoore at da k____ehz. weights til u r strongr.
oh fangq noodle! these kittehs are just tew mutch after a lawng dai at werk!
*sips hawt choklit*
Walk away. Nuffin to see here.
derez lotza splortin goin awn. kan ai haz a raisin brain nuffin.
I made some pleh blooberee nuffins yesterday! (Who knew baking powder was so important?) There are plentee leftover! Dey be more effektibe dan tax forms.
Maibe dey iz da blooberry biscottti naow? dunk em gud oar yule bork a toof.
wen yu roon fudz wen yu kukz dem yu nedez a bakup “plan “so yu nawt has tu frow dem owt.
teh differense beetween a messededed-upp fud adn a differeunt wun, iz teh naem! e.g.: messededed-upp muffinz = biskottii?
My cownter plan was to skwirt wiff lemon and sprinklol wiff pouderd shugar. And call dem cookies. Was gud but nawt great.
Hay…ai wudd nom awn doze…
You can has! Like I says, plentee of extra leftovbers.
*om nom nom nom nom!*
Mebbe dey iz portablol weppins now!
`Sa gud way to poke un eye ouwt.
Duz yoo need a Carry Conseeld Weppins Permit foar dat?
I knoes teh peeplol dat duz dat.
mai neggst-door nayboor, whoze inn teh collije dat ai’z gowink tew, izz gettink wun obb doze purmittz…
O.O
I nawt sed it wuz ur fawlt.
I jest sed I wuz gonna blayme yoo!
shur, shur… tellz mi anudder 1. *nodz hed in disbeliefed*
Umm…redd was on da kitchen tablol sneekin fuds and nokin fings ovber.
Did nawt!
uh huh. reeli?
whatz does crumbz onna ur wishkrs?
butt butt Ai haz teh bideo in mai sell fone!!
WUT bideo?
U noez, Mawm alwais sed no pole dans dans dans inna haows.
Wut kinda mahm did YOO has?
Mien onlee sed nawt to play bawl inna howse.
Snerk~ When we was reel littlol, we were’nt allowed to say butt(!)! “Doesn’t sound nice”
I realee has to sensur myself wen I tawlk to my mahm, cuz hur nawt even lyk teh wurd “cwap”.
Becuz of dat, I yooshulee nawt tawlk to hur wen I’m drivin.
My road rayj, lemme show yoo it.
My mom loosened up quicklee when my friends thought her bad word list was SO funny. It’s akshully better da George Car lin’s.
Last week, I cursifyed a motur-sikkel ridur dat wuz ridin my butt, whiel I wuz awn teh fone!
Wait, whut? He thought ur butt was hims motorcycle?
Apparentlee so.
I finkso him thot I wuz being Left Lane Bandit, butt I nawt do dat!
I try to respeck teh motor-sikkel ridurs, butt this d00d wuz givvin ‘em a badbadbad naym!
A bad name for a motorocyclerist? U mean like…
Aloysius
Baby Bunny Boy
Chauncey Frillypants VII
Debbie
E…
Emilee Ernesteenuh
Faaabuluss Fred
Gorjuss George
Henry Etta
Ima Hogg Ryder
J…..
dis cud be sending peepulz tu nb in a hurry if dey fingz abowt it rong. tsk> Yu gurlz be kerful wut/haow yu sez.
Jedidiah Jinglyjeans
Kimberley Evelyn Joyce Girlyname
Lancelot the TinyBladdered
M…
Jimmy deh Geek
Kid Snickerdoodle
Lil Ranger
M…..
ohai, mai cween!!
*bowz, offurz chokklitz*
adn hao izz yur cweenlinesseseses dowink tudai?
Mikey the tikey
No surrender
Opie the destoryer.
Mikey teh Bikey Boi
Nermal
Oliver Wendell Homely
P…
Peet teh Pedlol Pushur
Quinn teh Eskimo
Road Rash Ron
Skwishee Sam
T…
Timid Robert
Unscary Andrew
Very Fastidious Edgar
W…
William teh Canker Sore
Xerxes teh Xerk
Yellowbellied Maddog
Zephyrlike Whispering Windsong
Awww!!!!!! Iz sew //kyoot!!//
**SPLORT!!!!**
an anudder cranium explodez…
Oh noes, red alert red alert … code kitteh Draconic K is splorted.
weeooooweeeeeooooooo CCC pulz in an drivez upz onda cidewalk were DK is lyin in brian puddle.
so much grey matter, oh the medulla oblongata…
*vacumz up braynes adn rinses wif expenciv pellagrineo mineral waterz*
*Plopz da brainy stuff bak inna skull anscrewz da skull cap on tite*
*Raps da ducky tape around, an Fitz da CHRG wDOI tite onda hed *
*Pullz out softee blankee wiff tunas swimmin onit an rappz up draconic kitteh *
* carriz da limpy bodi 2 da safe rum. gibs dk sum hawt choklit adn a choklit pirahna.*
*speakz in softy voice*
donut luk animoore at da k____eh. weights til u r strongr.
*waekz upp*
ooh….mai hedd…
waet…iz whoel agen! adn nawt splorted!
*nomz awn chokklitz*
fankyoo….
ur welcum.
jus restz fer a while. u’ll b okai.
Frenz, I iz in LUB!
It happind ovur a week ago an it wuz lub at nawt-sekkund site.
<3
de detalez pleeze…..
Dark….
.
.
Sweet…
.
.
.
Wonnerful!
Go on…
It happind at Wal-Mart, of awl playsis….
I wuz tyred, nawt finkin abowt ennyfing…
Teh lub of my lyfe!
Has u done lots of spooning?
Hail yesh! Ebery chanse I gets.
Does it get sticky sometimes?
Onlee ifn I nawt yooz my tong.
duzzit melt in the hawt sun?
I nawt gibs it teh oppurrtoonity.
Iz “Dark Chocolate Velvet” ice cream by Breyer’s.
Ifn I’m fownded ded wif choklit awl ovur my fayse, yoo will kno I wentid a happitayle woman.
*snerk*
So it’s not gonna be a white wedding, then?
Iz yoo kiddin? I nawt kno ifn I’m evur gettin marrifyed agin!
I finkso I’m gonna be teh Crayzee Kitteh Woman, eetin my Dark Choklit isee kreem awn teh cowtch an watchin “Cops”.
My couch likes to watch Jeopardy!.
I lyk teh Jeopardy too.
Wen I had my colonoskopee, my BFF swared dat teh drugs I gottid turned me in2 Rain Man, cuz I knoed awl teh rite kweshtuns.
Did ennywun see “Chocolat” wif Johnny Depp an Juliet Binoche? Remembur teh Count who ended up in teh front windo of teh Chocklit stoar?
Dat’s gonna be me.
No, I didnot see it with them. I sawr it on a airplane.
waet…chokklit? waer??
awwww! They are soo freakin’ cute!
I wants teh do dat to muh feller coworkez. Dat wud be funz!
Kittee Pyle Kitt~uhnz
prakktiss awn Liddill Bruddurr
‘cuz himz skwishee~est!
Skwisshee Strypdz Kitt~uhn
feenks Beeg Sissturrz needz 2 planz
moar strateejikklee!!
Skwisshee Strypdz Kitt~uhn
canz wiggillz owtz ub dis andz
himz nawtz brakyz a swett!!!
Jack.
Jack.
Ifn himz nawt brakin a swett, den himz NAWT in Kentuckee rite now. Iz teh HAWT an HYOOMID heer! Pleh.
Himz nawt in BFT eever…..fur teh last tew weekweekweeks oar moar, we haz had a HAWT (90+ deegreez F.) and a HYOOMID (way up dere) EBBERY DAI!
Adn NOE end in site!
Dere iz wun naow!!!
* moonz teh DGMD adn teh rhsb
hedz tu teh NB *
**smaks WRr’s moon**
Nawty boy!
:::faynts wif embareass(!)ment:::
:::THUD:::
*Runs in qwiklee wiff smellee saltz an swooning cowch*
You ok, DGMD? *Has YNGs carry DGMD off to NB*
*luuks a round swoozilee*
Whut…..happeneded?
*seez YNGs*
Aifinkso Ai is having teh vaypurrs….cuud bee dangeriss….maybe sum hansum YNG cuud keeping an…..er, eye….on mii? Untill I haz a well? Oar terns elebenty—whichebber iz nawt-sekkund…..
ai agreez…heer in georgya, teh tempurachur iz inn teh 90′s, wiff lawtz ob sunn adn sumthyme-thundurrstormz…..
teh hyoomiddittee…wellz, itts nawt-sew-grate…. att leest nao owurr poool hazza yooose–iz normlolee beree coldd, butt nao, teh coldd izza gud fink!
sew iz ittee bittee skwisshee kittee kommittee?
Kin yoo say dat fwee tiemz relee faszt?
datdatdat
Who turnifyed ur crank tonite?
Ai haz a crank?! Ware?
Mebbe ur tayle iz it?
teh tayle izz teh endd datt wuz menshuneded urliurr…
purrhappz…..
ittee-bittee-skwishee-kittee-kommittee
ittee-bittee-skwishee-kittee-kommittee
ittee-kittee-ko…
carp….erm…noez, ai nawt canz…
Aw cute.
Speekin of motor-sikkels, kin I axk foar beems, plz?
Wun of my frenz wuz inna motor-sikkel aksident menny yeers ago an lawtsid part of himz leg.
Himz been havvin trubblols wif teh saym leg an teh dokturs mite has to remoov moar of himz leg.
aww…ai hazza soree fur yur frend…
*beemz*
{{{redd’s frend}}}
Frenz, I hazza beeg sleepy an I finkso I’m gonna go crawl in2 teh bed soon.
Eberywun haz a gud nite/day/wutevver, an whoevver iz teh last wun owt, plz to turn awf teh lites.
Kthxgonnacurlupwiftehkittehsnow.
gud nite, rhsb! hazza gud sleepz!
ai hassa sekkund hed
wellz, dere /iz/ teh sayink abowt pullink yur hed owt obb yur….wellz……yoogetttehpikktchur…
The traditional end to any game, from boxing to checkers, played with your brothers or sisters: somebody’s going to get sat on.
No No No!
Crow is dansin a ho ho!
Ice cream for cat;
ice cream for crow.
Guinness no show!
mmm…
Shud tihs hav maed sence?
*hazza puzzld*
whut is dis cents uv wich yoo speek?
Iz whut teh Hyoomin minyunz buys teh gushifudz wif.
Ooooh, gushifuds…wee iz at yoar sebiss!! Juss keepz serbing deh gushifuds!!!!
duzzent tehy hasta yooze teh dollurs? aifinks teh sents ownlee buyz teh cheep stuffs.
Dis maybee deh bestest littlol bebbeh kitteh LOL ebber. Whut culler bee de eis awn dat kitteH???
*Tayks awf protektiv gogglols tew git a clozer lukk*
*SPLORT!!*
*Waykes upp, tempore rarilee*
Ai iz sported. iz dare noe wun hu canz resque mee??
*Goez bak tu bein splorted, wif braynes awl ohber deh playce. Waytin awn de cheezpeeps tu resque herz frum de splortin aktibitee abuv…Maybee shud nawt habs splorted sew layte at nite.*
*sloh sad hedshayk*
yoo reelly neads tu plans yur splorts bettur.
*gits owt teh shopvac tu cleen up teh brayns, runs dem thru teh warshin masheen on jentil sykul beefor stuffin dem bak ensyd Niser’s hed. fitz teh hedboans bak intu playce, den raps, raps, raps raps teh hedboans wif teh dukkee taype. tawps Niser’s hed wiffa noo CHRG. snugglols Niser entu ay floofee blankee an halps hur tu teh reecuvvuree lownge.*
hmm…ai hassa enstruktshun pamflit fur programmifying teh DVR yoo cans reed tu tayk yur mynd offa teh cyoot.
Ai nawt haz dun dis foar a lawng tyme hoep Ai nawt furgitted haow.
***
Mops teh splorted braynes up intu teh bloo bukkit. (fank U mr Lolrus)
Pourz teh sparklollee cydur awn the braynes tu rinsify dem gud.
straynes teh brayns fru a cheezcloff tu get awl teh eggstra cydur awf dem.
Patz brayne bakk intu hed. putz teh hedbonez bak adn raprapraprap dem in Dukky tayp. apply teh CHRG/wdoi tu teh Niser.
Leedz Niser tu teh niec sawf reclinur innna SRW. Tuckks in teh cheezmap blankit.
Handz ‘Niser the hawt chawklit adn the chawklitt possumz. ***
Heer iz teh tacks forms tu reed if U feels splortee. Nawt tu luk at the lol until U iz fullee recubburd pls.
* Skampurs awf tu returnz bukkit to Mr Lolrus. *
nuffinscookies! Here, nom on these!Ohh, fankees foar deh layte nite reskyoo, keshet an WRr!! Ai nawt expectin uh splort at sush a layte ower…….Yu guis R deh bestest!!!!!
*Happilee waches moovies awn deh DVR an nomsipsnomsips deh hawt choklitt (addz uh bit ob peppermint schnawps) an de chawklit possim wile tukked in de cheezpeepz blankee*
Lubs yu guis!!
Erm. Hate to spoil the fun, but those are all sisters, not brothers. They’re torbies (a mix of tabby and calico) so the odds of a male aren’t quite 1 in a million but they’re really improbable. Please continue the silly, now.