FRIENDS always ready to scratch that one spot you can’t seem to reach
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FRIENDS
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skritch skritch
O, yes, that’s teh spot! Now lower, lower, a littlol to teh right… up jus’ a littlol… ahhhhh!
Doant dey hav teh cyootist litlol faises?!
Ai sawed a littlol foxy liek dat awn mai brudder’s farm last weekweekweekend. It had a beeg kyoot!
Mai neffyoo’s gurlfrend wanntid tue ketch teh foxy adn taek it hoem fur a pet! LOL otay, nawt srsly, butt(!) it were sew kyoot.
Ai haz dem in mai gardin – 6 mylols frum sentrul Lundun!
issit meh oar u hu habs 2 goes 2 da nawtee barn nao, lcb?… *has a pondur*
foxy dancers fur ur catulashuns ozcatmum
Thx siobhan.
Concatyulayshuns, OCM ob teh speedee fingerz!
Thx Mezzomom. Ai bedder go tu bed nao tho, as suun as zi sai HB tu GP. Itz layt!!
LCB steps onstage, backed by lolpigburglar, Scrooge McPig and teh Cheezland Tour Guide to tell a musical tale of a rodent without a tail. (Disclaimer: Events in this song has been grately exaggerated for dramatic effect. As far as u know.)
HOTEL LOLCATBURGLAR
(wif aplologies to teh Iggles and their “Hotel Californ-i-a”. We couldn’t find a video that didn’t get stuck partway thru, but u know u know teh song. *nods*)
On a dark Cheezland hiway
Cool wind in my fur
Warm smell of pork scratchings
Rising up when I burp
Up ahed in teh distance
I sawr a sparkle-y light
My tum was empty and my outlook grim
I had to stop for a bite
There she stood in teh doorway
Wearing a mask of black
And I was thinking to myself
“She looks like trouble
But, eh, whut teh heck.”
Then she took off her slipper
And she batted my hed
There were voices down teh corridor
This is whut they said
Welcome to teh Hotel Lolcatburglar
Such a “lovely” place (Such a “lovely” place)
Such a “lovely” place :eyeroll:
Plenty of work at teh Hotel Lolcatburglar
In teh londry room (In teh londry room)
U can meet ur doom
Her place is Mung Vase infested
She chases teh fi-er-mens
She’s got a lot of aging rock star bois
That she calls frenz
Come and mop up teh kitchen
Work up a sweat
Some mop to remember
Some mop to forget
So I called up teh weaslols
“Plz halp me!” I whined
They said, “We’ll halp u wif ur workload here
But plz pay double time.”
And still teh insults keep coming
From LCB
Wake me up in teh middlol of my nap
Just to hear her screech
Welcome to teh Hotel Lolcatburglar
Such a “lovely” place (Such a “lovely” place)
Such a “lovely” place :eyeroll:
They’re working me hard at teh Hotel Lolcatburglar
With non-stop abuse (With non-stop abuse)
Washing OLUs
Fluffing up her pillows
And applol juice served warm
She said “We are all just pussycats here
And we mean no harm.”
In teh mansion’s messhall
We gathered for a feast
We asked Cook for some eely pies
But we just got shredded wheats
Last thing I remember
I was scamp’ring for teh door
I had to find my passage back
To teh place I was before
“No dice,” said teh Mickster
“We are locked in, I believe
U can flip out any time u like
But u can never leave.”
(guitar solol)
*waeves litestikk*
*passes nargileh*
that’s so….so…beYOOtiful, man.
Teh truffiest rock song evver.
Applesauce,applesauce. bravo……..I am going to copy this.
Ok, but if u paste it, it’s gonna cost u.
OMCC, taht is ful uv win an awsum LCB! U neber ceese tew amazify meh!
*blush*
I rited it on teh flite to Seattlol. I didn’t even rember that it was his birfday coming up. When I was packing I found a scrap of paper with the titles of some lolsongs I had in mind and one of them was “Hotel Lolcatburglar.” So I had no choice, rly.
u sees? u shud fly to Seattlol moar offin!
*nods*
wut “her” sed!!!
Onliest thing is that it scares teh other passengers a littlol when u jump up on toppa ur seat to practice teh guitar solol.
LOL!
Well, hoo CAREZ if teh otter pass injures jump a littlol! Maeks teh flite much moar egg sighting!!
It wuz a MOAST wunder maus sawng, LCB.
Yur star shines ebber moar an moar britely!!
*wyld applolsawce*
*wayves litur inna ayr*
Yay! Woo-Hoo! Clappity-Clappity!! Wenn duz teh CeeDee drawp? Wair kan ai bai a naddvantz kawpee?? Ai can hs a nawtograff, pweese?
We should has a MPelebenty file for u to download sometime soon. Check out lcbTunes for details.
dat shud plai onna lcbPod, rite?
*nods* Also on most MPelebenty players, except for teh one that u has.
*gives j2k a shiny new lcbPod*
Teh Noo wuns ar sed to bee much moar bedder than teh auld wuns!
Maeks a reelee gud present!!
O, yes, they is teh wunnerful. U can run all kines of apps on them as well as lissen to ur musics and watch ur videos.
(I has losed 18 lbs so far using a lcbPhone app!)
ZOMG! puts arms up inna air, waives them around, sways to the moosic.
Clappity clap! Anudder wiener, LCB!
Dont mind if I do! Extry mustards, plz *noms*
Ifinkso that is teh best. song. YET!
*holds liter in teh air*
**klappity klappity** Fabyewmus az yews uwill!
elebentee!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@
Clappity, clappity, clappity! Well done!!!
Erm….wut arre OLUs??
If u hastu ask, u duzznt want tu knoz.
Z!
O!
M!
G!
LOL! But wairs teh pork skratchins?
oh so berry cyoot…….Timothy Hay FTW!!!
Ai’ve got sum heer – bags an bags ov tehm.
Ober there awn teh tablol! Eech wun haz a burfday bloon attached to it.
Verree Festive – speshul fur a verree speshul littlol piggee of teh Guiness kind.
what tessm said, times elbenty!!!!1
Wishin Guinness Piggeh a berry happi birfdai!
Ai tryed 2 fyned a rssipee fur a caek wiv Guinness and pork skratshins dere duzn’t seam 2 be wun, soe Ai offur a pork pie wiv a candlol awn tawp insted!
Happee Birfdai, Guiness Piggeh!!! Heer – bloons, streemas, caeks, drinkees – awl fur u.
Heer izz an caek ressapee wif teh Guinness innit – maiB wih kan crumblol sum poark sktachins obur teh tawp.
Scrumptious Chocolate Guinness Cake
1/4 cup cocoa powder (to dust the baking pans)
2 sticks butter
1 cup Guinness
2/3 cup Dutch process dark cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups unbleached flour
2 cups sugar
1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, sifted
2 large eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
chocolate frosting
Heat oven to 350° F. Lightly dust two greased 8 inch springform pans with cocoa powder. In a heavy saucepan or microwave oven, heat butter, beer, and cocoa powder until butter melts. Let cool. Sift dry ingredients together. Add the beer-cocoa mixture, and beat thoroughly for 1 minute on medium speed. Add the eggs and sour cream and beat 2 minutes on medium speed. Pour batter into prepared pans and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean. Place pans on a wire rack, cool for 10 minutes, remove the sides, and cool completely. Use a long serrated knife to even the tops of the cakes. Using a flexible spatula, spread each layer with a thin coating of chocolate frosting, stack, and cover the sides with frosting.
Thx Italiana – purrsunallee, Aifink it’d be beddur wivowt teh pork skratchins, but eech 2 him’s owen!
howzabowt haveng teh poark skrachenz in an liddlol bowlol bihsyde teh caek, soe peeplol kan has ifz tehy lyke (oar knot).
*poarz crumblolled poark skrachens inztu an brytelolee-kullertded bowlol.
Dat’s a gud plan!
o yesh yesh yesh, skratchins onna syde, kthx!
ai can haz scratchins on mai side, plz!! kthxahhhhhh
Dass teh wers fing bowt libbin alown – nowun 2 skratsh ur bakk!
Aill taek myne on teh side too. Pleeze.
Sumthing tells mee awnlee a GP wud laik them az teh frosting.
chokklit caek??
*nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!!*
*urp*
‘skyooze meh…
Oh! I has recipe for Pork Cake — is early American recipe for reeeeel… (duzn’t sound bery gudgudgud tho — mabee if u adds teh Guiness wud be better — most fings are!)
Ai’ll juss hab teh Guinness thx!
Yesh, yesh, yesh. Happy Birfday, Guinness Piggeh
Dis be a wyld cupple!
Wot Guinness Piggeh didded awn hims holly dais!
ai herd dere wuz a bye-sik-lol innsidint tew…
Dere were a byesicklol innseadint! Dey edited it owt cuz tuu skeery!
but but but… ai nawt see a bysikkle ennywhar in dere!!
wuz sooooooooo fast yew mist it!! LOL
wowie
ai hadded know idea dat gp cud due awl dose fingz.
happie burfinday !
hippo burfday gp *frows a caek … just bee caws*
Happee happee birfdai GP!!! *frows glassis uv milk…tew goe wif teh caek*
Happitail birfday, GP. Oops, ai forgetted pinny gigs dun have tails.
*throws timothy hay*
*Timothy throws it back!*
hay hay!!! frows timothy hays too!!!!
happy birfday to teh wun an onleeeeee, mick pout pout pout, GP!!
schmooooooo
Yu skritch mai bakk, ai skritch yuurz … simmbyot … symbee … werkz foar mih!
Hippo Burdiees, gp!
happee burfday, Guinness Piggeh! ai donut finkso we haz propurrlee met, butt (!) ai wishis yu teh berry best uf burfdays – adn meneee mooooooar! *pours a pynt uf Guinness fur teh Piggeh* cheers!
He’s not here yet. Probably deciding whut to wear.
I’ll take that Guinness before it gets cold. *yoink*
Beats warm applol joos any day.
*Gizmo poors pynts fur awl teh cheezpeeps adn lays dem owt on a shiney, shiney, SHINEY tablol*
*Gizmo puts gp’s pynt on a bery nawt-shiney tayblol*
der, ai wunner ifn gp’s pynt wil be sayf noa?!
Happee burfday GP!
*fanks Gizmo for teh pint* Cheers!
*looks at wristwatch(es)*
How long is it taking that piggeh to pick out a outfit, anyways? Hmph.
*has another pint*
Mebbe him needs mor tahn wun purrsun to invitify hims?
*putz a towul in frunt ob teh klozit door, tu mufflol teh sownds*
Ohai, ai will has a pynt tuu! *glug-glug*
O hai, AP. Was u sposed to remind GP about his party?
*has another pint*
Itz so hard keepin trakk ob dayts adn tymez adn stuffs.
*flips fru pokkit dayplannur*
*reelyzez is akshully adn address-n-foan nummer buuk*
*puts it away wiffakwikness*
Lubbly day, izznt it? *sips moar ginniss*
Oh, adn dat wuz a awsum sawng u did up deyr, boss. *nods*
Happee, happee burfdai, Guiness Piggeh!!! Wee haz nawt mett eeber, butt (!!) ai wuz in de awdee anse foar yoar wunnermuss concert a cupple ob muns bak. Ai has a berry impressive foar yu.
*Extens happee burfdai paw ob frenship tu GP*
*pats AP on teh hed*
U is a grand goodphlonquais.
*has another pint*
Adn a gud grand-flonkways.
*tayks away lcbz ginniss, replaysez it wiff ruutbeer*
Happitayle (or mayk dat happi-no-tayle) Birfdai to U, Mr Piggeh!
*tiptoes in late*
*looks around*
I don’t see that pinny gig anywhares…. wut am I gonna do with this ho made oreo cheezcaek with Happy Burfday wrote on it??
*ponders*
We nawt wants dat cheezcaek tu get stayle, dew wee?
*snerk* – who didja say maydit?
u herd me! ;p
Donut bodder, yu jist cannot hurd skwirrls.
*slinkz in ebun latah….*
butt(!) ai brawtz eis kreme!
OHappee Burfdae, GP!!!
*nom*
dere…cheezcaek iz taeken caer ob nao!
happytayl birfdai GP!!
*dansdansdans*
“Hey! Is that a Glacier over there?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Well, I fancy some sweets.”
“What makes you think there are sweets over there?”
“Well, there could be:
Fox’s Glacier Mints!”
**wanders in** Ai finked ai smelled cayke. Oar cuy. Came tu see wut it wuz, look, it’s the pinny gig’s burfdai!
Happy burfdai Guiness Piggeh!
MMMM…. bbq! I has a hungry!
Got any hush puppehs to go wif that?
Pleez tu nawt nom the goggies!
but but… they is beggin for it!
shhh!
Did u bring teh margarita machine? We could mabye try Guinness Margaritas, no?
Guiness Margaritas furr ebereebodee! ***WHIRRRRRRRR******* Duz we hab teh speshul Happee Burdai margarita glasses?
Does yew drink doze on the rocks? And sawlt or no sawlt. *Has a ponder*
Um, yes? No, wait. I wanna change my answer to “mabye.”
Yu can drink yurs on teh rocks…but I am gonna have mine in teh shade of this her lubbly tree…..HAPPI BIRFDAI, GP!!!
{{{parrothead}}} long tyme no lol!
{{{{{BF473}}}}} Tu long indeed! IRL haz bean crazee! Hao u iz?
{{{Parrothead!}}}
So many peeps turn up ai haven’t seen or read in AGES! Woot!
mannee happee returnz uv teh dae too yoo, GP!
many happy days returning too!!
Hippo Birdeyes GP! I gibs yew da ebberlasting guiness keg, dat nebber goes dry. An yew don’t have to pump it eever. Just pull the tap and gloop, it fillz up da glassiz.
Gloop! Datz jist hao Guiness sounds! **wisspurs** nastee thik stuff, butt (!) mayke a luvley blak -n- tan **unwisspurs**
Overz….overz….downzz…ryte dere!
Ahh….*sighz happlolly*
Awww, kewt kits
Izzit jist me. oar iz sumwun missing frum dis partee?
A Sir Tin innernashnul piggeh ob Miss Terry, praps?
Heez in a pub sumwhere, izzint he?
Happinontayl Burfday, GP!!!
Yabbut, u knoes that Teho is in teh Army trainings rite now.
**faispalm** I furrgot dat!
um…. whippy cream?
firemens?
YNGS????
Yesh yesh yesh!
Ohai, PH!! lawn thyme, ai nawt sii!
foxeh beyink pusshedd obbar wutt luukz liek a kliff
inn 3…….2…….1……
happi birfingday GP!
look wut i haz bringd for everywun:
)
clothing.cafepress.com/item/love-me-love-my-guinea-pig-classic-thong/98407481
or, if yoo prefers:
cafepress.com/+love_me_love_my_guinea_pig_boxer_shorts,98407479
(credit for orijinaly finding theez goez to parrothead
Ohai an happitaylless burfdai, GP!
We luvs yu an misses yu heer in
the BasementCheezland!a little to da left..
ahhhh that feels so gud
Happi Birfday, GP! Guinness and pork scratchins to ya!
Anna happy birfday to u, KittehlessJon!
happy birfdai kittehlessjon!
Happi burfday, Jon! Hope u has a wunnermus day!
Ooops sry aiz laet!
.
*luuks around fur Guinness Piggeh*
.
O well, ai donut seez teh GP. Whut ai do wif deez faymus, fabyoolus kebabs dat ai bringd? ai finkso ai sets dem daon on dis tabl heer.
No one likes a par-tee more ten teh crow!
(plus, crow bring teh ice cream and danse a ho ho!)
*sneeks inn aftur Moe*
*putts larj plattur ob beer battur unyun ringz bye da kebabs*
*addz eggstra larj pichoor ob beer (guinness ob corse)*
♪ ♫ Hippo burfdae two GP!!! ♪ ♫
Yesh, Ai em schlow as awl wais, but wanna weesh a berree hippo burfdai to Guiness Piggeh tudai awlsew!!!!! (Ohai, Willi Boy!! How duz yoo mek thos kewl moosic notes?? =) )
Ai dunno bowt WB, but Ai juss copee an payste! ♪ ♫
Otherwise, is teh Alt-13 for ♪ and teh Alt-14 for ♫. (That means u hold down teh Alt key while u type teh numbers on teh keypad on teh right of ur keybroad (or on teh special hidden keypad ifn u has lappytop.) Make sure u has teh NUMLOCK on.
This method does NOT work wif teh nummers keys that go acrost teh top of teh keybroad.
Ohai, LCB – is ur key as broad as it’s wide? Just wondering … Awsum song, by the way. Ai LUBS ur songs!
Ahhh… fankeem, Annipuss!! sush gud idears frum Cheezland, Ai rilly need tu be heer moar offen… jus seem tu awl wais be destraktified bi reel lifes..
Well, eben tho I am bery bery late to dis partay, I see that teh piggeh of honor iz eben later. So I leeves a giftie here — a magiklol bicycle repair kit, that allows teh piggeh to repair any and evvery pawsible prolblem wif byciklols. It provides enuf challenge to be fun, but ultimately, ebberyfing can be fixified.
He is taking “fashionably late” to quite teh extreme, isn’t he?
*has another pint*
*joins lcb in a pint* *puts on baffing suit first*
Hay! Careful wif that snorkel.
*carefully puts snorkel aside to be sterilolized*
Srry!
“Sterilolized”? I’ll has u know that my armpits is teh so clean u could eat off them!
*appetite lostified*
Iz gnew dieting teknike, aifinkso. Hazzing to eat all fuds out of the armpit or no eeting at all.
*gets owt teh tongs*
*yoozes dem tu playse snorklol inna insinuraytor*
*frowz in teh tongs tuu*
Dussit com wiv freefonecawl to teh cavalry, justin cayse?
Absotively, yesh! And teh cavalry always can haz Guiness, teh drinking, not teh baffing, kind, on tap, wif pint glasses that (ta-dah!) warsh tehmselves.
What? Are the interwebs out of firefox jokes?
Noe itumz, focks onlee, Phinal Destanayshun!
Check out my amusing profile at ROBLOX