Admit it. You are jealous.
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yesh I am!
I cud nawt pretzelify maiself like dat eben when I wuz yung and bendable. The ways of kittehs are most wonderous. An mai goodness whut a floofy belly! Who has teh snorgle snorkel?
yu adn mi bote. nauw, nawt soe musch.
W00t!!! Carosue u gottid a solo nawt-sekkond!!!
*bangz on rat howze*
Hey!!! u in dhere!!!
Itz being time fur u tu dansing!!!!
*deh Conga Ratz come owt awl dressed in deh bendablol Cirk du Soliel costumez wif shineez and sparkleez awl over*
Lukking gud, Ratz!! Now — Dans, dans, dans!!!
Conga, cong-ga, CONG-GA!!!
Conga, cong-ga, CONG-GA!!!
Conga, cong-ga, CONG-GA!!!
conga wif teh ratties! kik!
Congrats on your solo nawt-sekund!
yes, ai admit it. AI AM JEALOUS!
Ohai!! how u bean?
yuppers! ai wish I could be taht comfortable!
if i slept like dat, I’ll be all sore in the morning!
nap attack are no respecters of physics.
Kitteh’s fur luks lyke iz fizzing to me.
Or taht flelolible!
ai kin bee dat fleckslolable …
wunse.
Kittehs can be flixibliblol uner teh following condishuns:
.
Aardvaark attacks
Being kyoot
Clawing up teh cornurs ob furniture
Dansing
E…
Erfkwakez
Fluudz
Godzilla attackz
H….
Hoomins ub teh stoopy kind
Insides a bocks
Jumpifyin thru teh ayre
..K
Kikboxing deh kangarooz
Leaping on Leemurz
M…..
Maeking biskits awn mai lap (owieowieowie!)
Nommin teh noms liek tehre’s no two morrow
Ovureggstending teh bakk adn legg mussels (awl teh bettur tew hawg teh cowch)
Powncing awn unsuspekting dust bunnehs
Q….
Queschunning suspekts
Ridikyoolin pollitishunz
Suspekting queschuns
T…
Tikloling poleetishunz
Unfolding deh lawndreez
V….
Twimming toenayles
Undulayting uforically
Viktimizing viktims…
W…
Taeking teh bestest chayr
Undue-layting ober teh lannscaype
Vokleizing alawng wif teh DVD ob Cats
W…
Waiving floofy pawz
Xterminating deh inviblol beest unner deh bed
Yodeling frum deh moutintopz
Zhe end.
I will NAWT admit it. I will sit heer, eeting mai cheezburger noms, batting mai stuffies, adn glaring at yu until yu moob adn I can steel teh comfy chair. Den YOU will need to admit it. Nyah!
LOL!
Furban sprawl~!
@@@@@!!11
Kitteh flops like this one here
Changing colors of the humans near.
For all of those who watch will then be
Quickly colored green with envy.
Dey do changify teh kullers awn u win u sitz dere afferwords, o yesh!
It’s Teh Boanless Cat!
Berry gud wif Marsala Sauce…
Duz yu guize needs teh recpissite?
Speeking uv resippeez, if u check deh Cryer, u will see dat Nennepuss b putting tugezzer a Cheezland Ressipee book!! Awl resipeez am gratefully appreeshiiated. (clikkifying mai name fur link tu deh Cheeztown Cryer)
…. but, um… Maus, u mite leeve off deh part whair u pore deh Marsalla Sawse on deh kitteh.
Okeh. I wuz finking ’bout addin’ the Bluudy MaryO wun. Whaddaya fink. O Qween O myne?
Eben Boneless Catz doan lieks teh sauce on tehm. Aifink mebbe teh marsala nawt sush a gud idee.
Cweem saws mebbe yesh. Den dey likklikklikk it awfs demselz.
*powncez on deh Maus*
*but duz nowt nomming him*
{{{{{Maus}}}}}
I b hoaping thingz b rite in ur whirrled.
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Ack, not deh hex-Ascii attack!!! *runz tu finding deh transmogrifyer*
52 4f 54 46 4c 4d 41 4f 21 21
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61 6e 64 20 61 20 42 4f 4f 50 21
42 65 65 6d 7a 20 75 76 20 22 67 65 74 74 69 6e 67 20 61 20 67 75 64 20 6a 6f 62 6e 65 73 73 2c 22 20 2d 2d 20 70 75 72 72 66 75 72 72 61 62 6c 65 65 20 77 75 6e 20 77 69 66 20 74 65 68 20 75 6e 66 65 74 74 65 72 65 64 20 49 43 48 43 20 61 63 63 65 73 73 2e 20 20 57 65 65 20 6d 69 73 73 65 73 20 75 20 77 65 6e 20 75 20 6b 69 6e 74 20 70 6c 61 79 20 77 69 66 66 75 73 21 21 21
oh deer!
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OK — that’s freaky. I hadn’t touched the transmogrifyer in MONTHS, but I used it earlier today.
4d 61 75 73 20 2d 20 64 69 64 20 49 20 6d 61 6e 61 67 65 20 74 6f 20 73 75 6d 6d 6f 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 77 69 74 68 6f 75 74 20 72 65 61 6c 69 7a 69 6e 67 20 77 68 61 74 20 49 20 77 61 73 20 64 6f 69 6e 67 3f
?
*wispurrs*
Itz a sekrit code.
deh answer liez heer.
home2.paulschou.net/tools/xlate/
adding ur own h t, etc.
Maus! *Boop*
how are you?
*Boop*
Okeh, I gess. A qwick visit b4 beddy thymes. Mrs. Maus is hassin teh pro’lems, an is at teh Not Sleepin So Gud Clinikiks…
Ohai, Maus!
I wuz finkin of yoo teh last cuppla dayz.
Miss yoo, my fren.
You also, Red..
Mai huzbin will b going tu deh Not Sleepin So Gud Clinikiks negst week. wii am hoping dey will decide tu gibbing him deh oxygenz so him can breeth. breething am gud.
Duz him haz teh sleep apnea?
My nawt-sekkund huzbin had dat. Skeered me to deff teh nawt-sekkund time I spended teh nyte wif him. Wun minnit, him wuz snorin up a storm, teh nexst minnit….nuffin!
I thotso him wuz dedded an I wuz gonna has to cawl himz famlee!
Him haz deh ‘I can’t catch mai breff’ adn sits up on deh edge uv deh bed and sleeps sitting up.
Heez nawt preggerz, iz he?
Well, himz belly AM big adn rownd.
Didja turning him into an otter, by chance?
I wuz kinda wonderin dat myself.
No, I turned him into an otter on porpoise.
Seriously though — does he always have trouble breathing, or only if he’s on his back?
Him haz deh empha zema. sumfing bowt 50 yrz uv smoking. him kwitted in Oct, ’08 but deh damage haz ben dun. him awlso haz deh congestive heart failure. and deh obee sity. But, amazingly, nowt deh diabeeteez.
*nods*
Mah Dadcat had teh empha zema (only wiffowt eber hazzin bin a smoker) & teh congestive heart failure. Nawt teh obee sity, tho. Afink he yoosta sleep propped up wif pillows so him kud breev.
U iz rite — breeving am gud.
‘Cause if it’s only when he’s on his back, maybe the weight of his belly is putting pressure on his lungs or the blood vessels connected to the lungs (related to why I asked about pregnancy). I know when I was quite pregnant, I couldn’t breathe if I was on my back & it would have been scary had I not known to expect that.
mebbe he hadded a fiebrosis ubber teh lungs? mebbe dis realayted too udder fings?
Dat nawt gud! {{{cween & Mr cween}}}
My dad iz prolly gonna has teh surjeree sumtiem in May. Him haz had trubblol wif himz soffy-guss foar a whiel.
Teh dokterz is still doin tests.
Mrs. Maus has the Apnea fer a long thyme. Its gettin badder though. I hasta sleep in anovver house (well… almost) sumthymes. She can snore even wearin’ teh CPAP fingy…
Oooh – dat tayks praktiss.
{{{Maus}}}
Aftur a whiel, ebery tiem teh ex-huzbin startid snorin agin, I wud say, “Dam”.
Ebil – ur doin it rite.
**bowz**
Fankyoo, fankyoo.
I duz my best.
Excuse me!!?? I think NOT!!
Watch — it will be too quiet for you to be able to sleep if Mrs Maus isn’t there.
T3h toy even lookz comfee!
Strypee Tukkz Kitteh
habbeeng Twisstee Peenkee Tung
Peekeeng Powah Napz!
Strypee Tukkz Kitteh
twissteefyez himmself to maykz
massibb awwsummness!!
Eeeelasstikk Kitteh
duz dis awwll t3h tyme 2 getz
deelishuss Snoargillz!!!
Jack.
Cool poem, Jack! adn eben cooler avatar!!! i assume it b foto uv u!
Ohai, cweenmj:
Abbatawr beez foto
ubz Tim Tawmmurrson. Jack Deth
inz ‘Transserz’ moobeez!
Tim Tawmmurrson beez
lasst ubz Hawleewoodz Tuff Gyez.
Witch maykz himz yooneek!
Chekk wiff LCB
for fotoz ubz mii atz Stray
Catz Resstrawnt lasst yeer!!!
Jack.
I haz seen teh pikshur of yoo, Jack!
Yoo iz teh hansum.
Yoo gonna put up pikshurs of ur kittehs?
iznt jack luking gud wif himz blooness?
Okay. I does haz a jelus.
Beeg time.
Me too.
I wanna be kitteh in my nexst lyf. Dey hazzit MADE!
*BOOP*
*KISS*
*Runs awai wif a qwikness*
Leafes behind sum Old Gran’Dad 114… An’ a branch chaser…
Fanks, deer wun!
**tipz bottlols**
Aaaahhh….jest wut I needid 2day.
Thas’ gud. Has anuther wun, on me…
*Pours teh whiskey on himself, gets owt teh Zippo, and tehn lites it*
*WHOOMPH!!*
Oopsie! Alittlol hleps heer!
**Cawlz teh fyremenz**
**frowz Maus awn teh floor an rollz him arown**
*fixez harez and waitz fur fyermenz*
**whispurrs to cween**
I hoap dey nawt comin frum Texis agin.
I wondur ifn yoo kin get heer frum dere.
Whai U needz fyremanz. Just lookit teh kalundur ai gibbed U inna lastest lol.
Becuz Maus wuz awn fyre!
Besydes, teh reel fing MUTCH bedderer den teh pikshur ennytiem!
*nodz — whyle sitting on a fyremenz lap*
*Blushes*
*Straightens his clothes*
Why… Thanks Red…
*Wanders off…*
My plezshur, Maus!
I wuz jest tryin to halp put owt ur fyre. Yoo kno, stawp, drawp, an roll?
Hmmm… My Durty Mynd© iz runnin wild. I fink I hasta go now. TTFN!!
SCHMOO!
Come bak ennytiem!
Lubs ya bunches an gobz!
Ohai Maus! Glad U iz heer.
Whar wuz U whan LCB wanted teh debreefing??
Debreefin?
Aaaahhh….teh memreez….
**sighs wistfulee**
Splort alert!!splort alert!! Set at elebenty!!
. 
>^;^<
ohai, D-R! How u bee dis fine eebenning?
I be guds, kthx.
Ai wanna sleepz forebbur. Wai git op? (Fabaluss Funderburds Song?)
I finkso I shudda stayed in bed dis moarnin.
kitteh’s bellee is beggin fur snorgglols.
Cannut deside wetha tu slepe awn yor side or yor bak tunite ??
!! * Eezy faw sum 
*
Du bofe at wunss
aifinkso, belleh iz beggin fur da snorglols
oooo dat face
*squee*
*Hugz deh dawn kee eerz*
gud tu seeing u heer!!!
Ooh…i is veree jealous, kitteh
Kitteh needz bigger bed!
Yep. I’z jealous — kitteh looks SO comfterbl, an so happee! Wish I cud be dat cumfterbl…
I wish ai cud sleep liek dat kitteh
It’s almost 2 am heer, and i cannawt sleep!