So… how mucha taht red stuff can u leak befoar I shuld call nine-elebenty?
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So… how mucha taht red stuff can u
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The Lady of Broccolishireham
bout 4 gallons
…wowz, datz a mytee big hyoomin u gawts deyr!
*puts awn nerd glasses an lab coat* If yoo drained a human body of all red-stuff, it will come to five gallons. Nao, i do not suggest letting ur hooman bleed 4/5 of dose gallons, because he may already be ded. Who gunna feed u teh gushy fud den?
Sowwy, aifawt wuz moar lyk a gallun adn a haff.
Papa gibs bluud, adn wunderz hao menny tymes ober heez gibben.
Ai gess is nawt eben wun bodeez wurff yet, iffn deyrz dat much.
Oh noes…i jus remembered i has to get blud drawn todae…did ai mention mai IRRATIONAL FEAR OF NEEDLES????
Dere is no such thing as IRRATIONAL fear of needles.
True…either way, 10 minutes ago, ai was shaking wif a needle in mai arm
Iz 8 – 10 Ingerlish pints (dats 160 – 200 flooid ownsis) I dunno haow big Claregurl’s gallun iz!
*checks online* I got mai information wrong….*Blushies* its 1.5 gallons….*blushes and backs into a dark corner* (1 gallon = 8 US Pints)
Otay, ai feelz beddur nao. Ai has gibben bowt tuu bodeez wurf.
Adn dat is a mytee big hyoomin u gawts, deyr!
Note tu self: Nevar try tu remember an answer from a gameshow dat yoo saw a long tyme ago…you mite just get your units of measurement mixed up!
Hay, whutebber gets fru teh brayn-freez is fayr gaym, in mai buuk.
Speshully iffn it gets u a fur vest frum Last.
Tayks Claregurl by teh paw owtta teh dark corner
*dans-dans-gettehbluudflowin-dans-dans*
*danses* Altho sum of mai blud is nao missin! I dunno hao much dey took, but i be a liddle dizzy nao!
Glad u mayd it fru otayz! *switchez tu slo dans*
bout 4 litres
In teh US we has foar kwartz tu teh gallun, tuu pynts tu teh kwart.
So datz ate pynts tu teh gallun. Adn eech donayshun is a pynt.
whyle we’re doing flooid mesurments – how much is a fifth of vodka?
ai is listening to a naudi-oh buk, where the recipe for purrfekt vodka gimlet is to take a fifth of vodka, pour out 6 ouncis of it (they donut say wut to do wiff that vodka dough…), and refill the bottlol wif 6 ouncis of roses lime… then put it inda freeser and serve it when it hurts to hold the bottlol…
Is teh naem foar a standurd bottlol ob abowt 25ownsis oar 750ml. An ai’m shur ai cud fink ob sumfing tu du wif teh 6oz. wut wuz suddinlee hoemliss. In fakt, ai cudda yoosd a cuppla gallins ob it ober the last munf oar tu.
But ai’m feeling mush beddur nao.
Fankies!
*sends the eggstra 6 ouncis to VLC*
Cheez!
Aifink is a fifth ob a gallun.
Meny alkoholik bevrijez cum in dat syze…ai gess a kwart is tuu big.
Congrats Claregurl!
Fank yoo annipuss! Happee Saint Patriks Dae!
Dats alot uf blud.
But feed me naow in caes….
U is maykin a reel mess in deyr!
A qworta pynt
…wowz, datz a mytee smawl hyoomin u gawts deyr!
Den ai cummings ober orl qweezie & needin pair o medics cos aise forled ober & nocked myslef owt.
Yeh, der is dat. Plus it taykz em a whyolz tu arrybe.
Otay, ai lets u du teh dyalin nao.
*whispers weakly*
kthx
… cawls nyne elebenty foar mai gushifuds, dat iz.
Teh sooner u call, teh sooner we seez teh Fyremens, kitteh!
Fyremenz???
wii can haz fyremenz????
huh?? huh??
wen???
now???
huh? huh? huh??
can wii haz fyremenz now??
kan ai haz ur cheezburgr?
Adn fronsh fryez?
ooh! AP sayd fronsh…
*swoon*
*ketchez jk2k*
*wispurrs in hur eer*
chateau. champagne. polly-voo fransayz. merci. oui-oui.
*finks reely hard foar moar fronsh wurds*
mayo naiz?
tootoo?
parlaiz?
*swoons hardur*
Ahh, mon cheri. Heer, lye daon in mon boodwar.
Escargot! Chat! Pretemps!
un bon vin rouge!!
un bon vin blanc!!!
Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? …
Sur le Pont d-Avignon, on y danse, on y danse …
mai Fronsch teechurz msut bih hasing mal-de-tete … taht SHUD bih …
d’Avignon
*ahem* dat wuz spozd tu b “peeps” (missd teh z, hit teh p)
Adn get awl deez wynz adn snaylz owtta heer! Sheesh!
*runsinwiffakwiknes, yellz “La plume de ma tante”, adn runzowtagen*
*mutturz*
Ahl tell u whut tu du wiff ur plume, adn it woant be Angelik!
**hands AP an catnip toi** dinna worree, we wont bogart your swooning couch
U purrfurr debreefing flooyds?
* earz perk up *
OH LCB!!! Ware iz teh keez tu teh DWDC?!
Whut?
No, ai wud nawt purrfurr… AAAKKK!!
*happilee runs off wif teh escargots*
Nom nom nom. Mmmmm.
Wel, dats jus sillee – ebreewun noes dat escargots doan run enneewears! Dey doan eeben wok enneewears, an dyoo noes wy?? Do ya, huh, do ya?? Cos dey awl goas in teh Es-car dey gots!!!! Heeeheeeheeheeee hic – oopsee, skyoos mii! Sawree, mebbeh ai sipped dat leftober vodka frum Nennepus jus a liddol tu kwiklee
*Ignoarz teh vodka…goez wif Fronsh theem and haz a glass uv Absinthe…eet maekz teh hart grow fondurr!*
=^..^=
Oh my! 80
>^;^<
*leens to see hoo gawt teh nawt sekkund*
AAIIEEE!!!
*burnz self wif teh curlin eyern*
Leepin leperkawnz to eberywun!
*gows to git ice from teh kitchin*
Ai alwayz haz trubbel wiv calling nine-elebenty — ders no elebenty on teh fone…….
Silly….It’s rite after tendty!
Wowz, deyrs lyke six bullit hoals innat winder.
U shoor libs inna gud nayburhuud, duud.
Den agin, dey myta bin B-Bz. Nastee naybur kidlets?
Eben still, aifink is tyme tu moob, duud.
um, sayve urseylf hoomin, hao du u eggspect me to dial nine-elebenty on teh fone, iz gotz no opposoblol fumbs! in fak, whar’s ur fone??
adn besydes, hoo du u fink ai iz, Lassy? u ain’t Timmy eever, adn dis ain’t no well.
*hyoomin luuks up at kitteh*
Is u tawkin at meh? Wows…ai must reely has lawst a lotta bluud!
Kwik, Lassie, ai meens Timmy, ai meens Kitteh! Tellem tu cum kwik!
Kitteh luks at hoomin *hmm, that’s my giver of gushifud down there, what am I thinkin’?* runsawfwifakwikness tu fynd Lassy or fyremenz….Halp, Halp !
I’ll take my noms to go, kthnx!
ittz jsut a skratsch – soe jsut kawl teh YNGs adn telify tehm tu bryng a bannayd, k?
*Getz Italiana a turniket and a shamwow*
*Stretches slolee*
*Takes a nap*
Ai noe can has teh YNGs anna bannayd?????
*Peeks one eye open*
*Eerz perk up* YNGs? Wait; where?
*Calls YNGs*
*Makes sure dey brings preddee green shamrock bannaydz* Wake me wen dey getz hear!
ofangyu, pjp! ai fealz meowtsch bedderer jsut noewin taht teh YNGs R awn teh wae!
*syngs … “Heer tehy kum tu saiv teh dae!
Wih knoe teh YNGs R awn teh weigh!”
noat: melolodee iz theam sawng frum oald-thyme kartuun shoo, “Mighty Mouse” … witch wuz awn teh TeeVee bakbakbak inna Stoan Aijiz, wenn ai wuzza kidlet
*NW dansis in, a wee bit cross iid an stagguring slaitlee, but dansin nawn teh less*
*dansdansdansoopsdans*
Ohai ebreewun!! (dansdans) Ai has been rileestid (twirlee) frum teh Dreddid Kluchis (skippteehop) ob teh Ebil Sittee Bai-Lauw
OgreOssifur, and ai will (dansdansoopsees) NAWT beeing prawnsee…prowsak…purrsicyoo…draggid awf tu jayol (pantpantpant) foar habbing Plants in (gasp!) Plantpots in mai gardin. [pawse heer - insurt funderus applolsaus]AND …… Tumoaroe, ai gets tu going tu ‘Canada Blooms’ (dansdansdansitteedans) wut bees ownlee teh biggist Gardin Show in Loltario, VLC, wif SIKS acres ob Spring Gardins tu lukking at, an awl kynds ob freebees tu getting, an seeds an plants an stuffs tu bying, an hunnerds ob gardning peepuls tu tawking tu! (dansdansphewskyusmiicosaigoddasiddown)
Its sew gud tu bee bak heer wif yu awl. Mebbeh nao mai tummee can stawp hurting.
Yay! Clappity-clappity! Gud foar yu! Teh garding shoow sownds wunnermuss adn beeyouteemuss, adn ai hazza jellus! Hazza wunnerfuel thyme tehre, k?
**hands nicewitch some chamomile tea**
O fankees, gammacat – dats jus wut ai needs!
*sipsipsipmmmmmm*
*ads ‘chamomile’ tu list ob seeds tu bying tumaoroe*
yu haz ossifurs ob dat gardz gardinz?
*eemajinz ebil gardin nomez patrollin peeps yardz*
haz phuns et da gardin shoow…dat iz alwais nies wai tu forgit bowt pleh wintur….
Yay! (dans-dans) U get tu bisit big wunnerful gardins (dans-dans)
Um, wye izzit genst teh bye-laws tu has plants in pawts? *pondurz*
Apparintlee, teh Bai-Lauws bee sew vayglee wurdid dat teh
He wuz prettee desint, tho, an traid tu cee mai syed ob fings, wen he cud hab sed ebreefing had tu goa. Beri ii-oapnin speeriens, fynding owt jus hao mush paowur teh nayburs an teh Sittee gots obur wut a pursin can has in der own bakyard.
OgreOssifur can diclair enneefing tu bee ‘waste’ oar ‘garbij’, jus cos he/she duzint liek teh wae it luks. Ai wud hab had less ob a prawblim if awl teh pots wur teh saem saiz an culler, cos dat wud luk liek a ‘set’. Orijinlee, he wantid awl teh pots emteed (yup, jus dump teh plants owt) an ‘stakkd neetlee tugevvur’, awltho dat wud kynd ob defeet teihr porpoise ob beeing plantpots …Duz yoo libs in Kanata, nicewitch?!?
Ai libs in teh kwyte pikyoolyer liddol sittee ob Sin Caffrins, Loltario – maed
infamous awn teh Tonite Show yeers ago foar habbing teh moast donut shops per capitta in teh Whirrld. Teh niknaem is spoast tu beeing ‘Teh Gardin Sittee’, but eeben teh lowcal gardnin club chainjd its naem frum ‘Gardin Sittee Hoartikulchurul Sosaitee’ tu jus ‘Sin Caffrins Hoart…’etc.da sittee kin tel yu wuts yu kin due inn yer owen bak yarde???
dere ar an sittee neerbi dat triud tu tel peeps dey wud haz tu keap dere frunt lawnz moed beeloe an sertin hite an ebrywun frew an phit….kant majine wut wud happin iff dey triud tu tel peeps wut wuz loud inna bak yarde…prolly sekkund merukin rebelooshin
Wii has teh EnbirenMental part ob the Sittee Parks an Rekreeashuns Departmint tellin us tu growing naytive drowt-tollrint plants liek asters an goaldinrod (speshlee foar teh flutterbais), an den wii has teh Bai-Lauw Weed Pullees tellin us tu cut dem daown cos dey’r nawt ‘reel’ gardin plants
Den teh EnbirenMental peeps tells us tu cawnserv teh watters an yoos raynbarrils, an teh Sittee Watters Dept. sez dey’s dubblin teh costs ob watters cos wii’re nawt yoosing enuff foar dem tu maeking ennee munnees … 
Ai cud goa awn, but it’ll jus maek mii wanna frow stuff.
Aifinkso U shud get teh sittee parks peeplolz adn teh bailaw weed pullees in teh saem rum adn huuf dem until dem haz sum uncommun commun cents.
Ai’d hassa happee tu get dem awl in teh saym ruum, den lok teh doars an frow awae teh kee.
tehy wuld put peeple in jayl for habbing plants in planterpots?!?!?!?
hazn’t tehy gots bank robbers or shoplifters or not-handicapped peeples parking in handicapped spots or sumfing else to wurry abowt?
“Nine elebenty plant ploleec, wats yer emergencee?”
Deh plantz b potted!!!
Oh, deh huge manateez!!!!
Dat maeks as mush sens as telling teh 90yr owld mans dat wun teh medlol uf honor in ww2 dat him nawt kuld fly himz flag cuz it wuz nawt politklly kerrect.
Conga rats on common cents winning froo!!
*sets out glasses filled wif shampers, wif littlol violets floating in the glass and mounds of cheesepuffs*
Enjoy!
*sips delikitlee at teh violint shampers*
*scarfs mennee chezpuffs, sumwat less delikitlee*
whut iz dis “common cents” uv wich yu speeks??
I haza jellous,NW. Would love to go to garden thingy.
>^;^<
heers teh burfday fairy to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to Dtl an Fnark an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today!
i haz bringd yummy fudjy burfday caeks, cherry caeks wif wippy kreem frosting, iskreem, sparkly party punch, an goodie bags filled wif glo-in-teh-dark slinkies, liddle wind-up raysing toy caterpigglies, kandee, an glo-in-teh-dark smiley face stikkers! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
Fnark?? I hazn’t seeinged Fnark in agez!!!
Happpy Birfday Fnark waireber u am!!!!
Adn happy birfday tu Dtl, tooo!
O hai CweenMJ! You rememememberzz me! I has a happy!!
So sadly, I NEVER has a time to visit cheezland nowadaze. I jest barely keeps up with my LOLz but can’t comment.
It seems strange taht Cheezspace is now a NETWERK wif elebenty sites. (What’s a Tweetbaggery? I might haz to look at taht one.)
Iz good to see there are familyur faces still here, an some nice friendly new peeps. I misses my cheezfriends.
Bye for now! thanks for teh cherry cakes. OOH! sling-keys! I lubs these!!1!
*sticks five glow-in-the-dark stickers on an empty Guiness glass*
{{{{{{{{{{{cheezfriends}}}}}}}}}}}
*runsinzwiffakwiknes adn yoinks a peece uv cherree caek adn a caterpigglie, adn goze bak tu teh koarnur tu wayt foar the YNGs adn teh bannayd … butt(!!) moastlee teh YNGs … teehee*
ofangyu for teh yummee noms adn teh VROOM!VROOM! caterpigglie!
Sorry. This doesn’t work. It’s 911 (nine one one) not 9-11 (nine-elebenty).
does elebenty even exist ?
LOL SPEAK IS RETARDED!