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Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Boyfriend Disposal Committeh When the cops ask, he’s your ex & you haven’t seen him since Tuesday!
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:O Ooh snap.
wooty-w00t-w00t!!!! U b leeding deh 5 weigh ty!!! kum on tu deh ty boo teek!!! dey b habbing awl sortz uf pritty kitty tyz and skarfz and bobblolhedded kittehz and Cheezland snow-globez and kitty suncatcherz and wind chimez!!!!! kitty kitchen towelz and kitty curtinz adn kitty figurinez and kitteh plaic matz and nappykinz!!!! Awl ur kitty dekka marating needz!!
*eyes get reely big* Oooooh… shinee… *grabs a snow-globe*
snicker
SUCH USEFUL KITTEHS
Awwwww! *splort*
O noes!! Tu splorts allreddy (see daon thred), an Ai doan no wat tu dooo!
*Rings hndz helplesslee*
wee-ooo-wee-ooo
*skoopy-skoopy NSz brayns wiff teh brayn skoopifyer*
*drags teh skoopifyer up tu teh rinsing stayshun*
*playsez teh brayns intu teh brayn rinsifyer*
*skurreez ober tu teh rinsing solushun rakk*
*rinsy-rinsy wiff teh sparkling lemmin-minral waddurs*
*skurry bakk tu teh rinsing solushun rakk wiff teh bottlol*
*runs bak-n-forf tween teh rinsded braynz adn NS*
*pakky-pakky teh brayns intu teh branium kabbity*
*skampurz arown teh ruum gavvering up teh boan bits*
*fitty-fitty teh boans ontu teh kraynium wun bai wun*
*props up teh hedd, dragz ober a roal ob dukky-tayp*
*rappy-rappy teh boans wiff teh dukky-taep*
♥♥♥♥
Massages by Kitteh
deh best kind!!
U hasta be caerful abowt dem littlol needlol clawz, tho.
Kitteh acupuncture! Dey can find the pressure (and pleasure) points
Deafinutlee massage, NOT disposal. Ai haz back problumz an kitteh massage feelz grate, clawz or no clawz. Wish ai cud trane tehm to dew taht wenevver I need it.
Such kyooot liddle wonz! Ai wannem!
Major *SPLORT!* (Sorree 4 teh mess, AngelPlume. Cudn’t hellp it.),
Oh nose! Hold on, exhoicat!
Here comes the CCC, with sirens blaring and lights FlAsHiNg
*Sweeps up all the splorted braynes
*Rinses in room temperature melburn rayn
*Gently, yet very thoroughly pax braynes bake into braynium cavity
*Places head bonez back into place
*Taypity taypity taypity with ducky tape wiv pictures of littlol dux on it
*Snaps on a fresh CHRG/wdoi
*Leads exhoicatto the splort recovery lounge
*Here’s a lovely lemmingade in a pretty glass. Enjoy!
*DO NOT look at teh kitteh until you feel stronger. K?
BTW exhoicat, tahtz a niec pikcha ob yu (?) eyes kaitign !!
Yew meen dat ornj patchwerk thingie? Ize sew iggerant I doan noe hao 2 add mai profyl pitcur 2 mai Commence.
PS: Fangkew 4 helpin wif teh splort mess…wen U getz 2 be mai aje tehre’s a hole lotta diffrunt splorts taht jest happun spowntayneeusly.
Srsly
Mersee bohkoo, much grass, an’ awl taht.
Him? He….gone…nuff said
:O Ohh snap.
Oopsie! Dublol posting… :/
wow…wurdpres neva lets mii du dat. sez ‘yuz awlreddee sed dat, missee, aifinkso!’
She spellified it differentlee.
yu noe, ai chekkd tu sii, adn ddint ketch dat.
*has eh beeg tirud*
Aww, s’okay! {{{catena}}}
Me neivur, ackshully. Ai thot it hadn’t posted mai post, sew I changed spelling wiffakwikness adn posted agin.
*splort*
(tehy look lyk mai foster-kittins teh Silver Cuddle Puddle!!!)
Anuvver splort! Wat tu doo, wat tu doo?!
Sumbuddy halp!
wee-ooo-wee-ooo
*skoopy-skoopy PKz brayns wiff teh brayn skoopifyer*
*drags teh skoopifyer up tu teh rinsing stayshun*
*playsez teh brayns intu teh brayn rinsifyer*
*skurreez ober tu teh rinsing solushun rakk*
*rinsy-rinsy wiff teh sparkling lemmin-minral waddurs*
*skurry bakk tu teh rinsing solushun rakk wiff teh bottlol*
*runs bak-n-forf tween teh rinsded braynz adn teh viktim*
*pakky-pakky teh brayns intu teh branium kabbity*
*skampurz arown teh ruum gavvering up teh boan bits*
*fitty-fitty teh boans ontu teh kraynium wun bai wun*
*props up teh hedd, dragz ober a roal ob dukky-tayp*
*rappy-rappy teh boans wiff teh dukky-taep*
*strechhh-snap! awn a noo CHRG(wdoi)*
*leeds teh pryzmatik kitteh tu teh splort rekubbery ward*
Fank yu, AP, ai preshiate teh hard wurk it musta beend in yur, um, prezint condishun. Ai juss gonna lay heer an let mai brayns settul back untu playse nao….
*walkz past AP.
*majiklol bonking stick fawlz owt uv bag and asskissdently bonkz AP
*BONK*
AP!!11!! Skweek tu mi!! Be yu Ok???
*wunders what AP will be nao*
*wunders if AP can de-lemming-ify hur azwell*
Yu shur haz a lot to say wile splorted!
ribbitAi iz so glad ai diddint haz a mowf full uv tee wen ai reeded dat!
i wunderz, if a princess kissingz him, duz hii turn intu a prince?
He mite – if it were teh majiklol an byootiful Princess Mu.
*hop-hop. hoppitty-hop.*
CROAK!*kleers froat*
ribbit. ribbit-ribbit.*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*
(reed below… i’z a hurricane!)
*flyez fru teh ayr*
*lands SPLAT! sumwayr*
*heerz a voyse in teh bakkgrown*
Luukit dat, hunny, itz raynin frawgs! Is dat an omin or sumfin?
I’M *WHOOOOOSH* SAWREE! *WHOOOOOSH*
I haz hurd uv deh hevy rain being kawlled a “toad strangler” dunno boat deh rayny frogz, tho.
ribbit. ribbit-ribbit-KROAK!!O_O (hab u evur seen a wyde eyed hurrikane? iz a sight tew see!)
cweenmj!! cweeeenmj!
Yoo hav to go daon thred an halp wildbreeze. She’s whrrrrrrrling around an nokking ebree thing ober an blowin awl teh furnichoor awf teh porches an she cant stop an she needs yoo!
*ponders*
*blows AP a schmoo*
I CAN HAZ SHMOO TEW?? * WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*
*sees a schmoo go bai*
*finks: ai kno dat schmoo!*
Ribbit!*hop-hop-hoppity-hoppity-hop*
*finks: ai is kumming bakk tu u, wayt foar meh!*
Ribbit, ribbit-kroakity-ribbit!*tries again*
*blows AP a schmoo*
Maek shur to catchify dat wun. Ai is outta here & goin on vacayshun fur a littlol ober a week-week-week wiffowt much access to teh intarwebs.
See you all on the 15th, or possibly the weekend before if I’m not wiped out.
*waves bye-bye fur nao*
Bye, ns! We’ll miss u!
{{{{nightshayde}}}}
*hops way up intu teh ayr*
*ketches teh schmoo*
♥♥
ribbit♥♥
*splat*
Oh, noes!! AP be habbin a forg in her throte!!!
*whispurrs* jessincaze, drgnfly bedder be cairfull, aifinkso!
Ai canz get bonkded tew?
Hmmmm…… I not b used tu peepz asking tu git bonkt!!!!
Well, ok, but remember, I not responsiblol fur deh resultz….
*swingz majiklol bonking stik and
*Bonk*
*on deh wildbreeze*
*Wildbreeze turnz intu a hurricane!!!!
BATTEN DEH HATCHEZ!!!!!
Wii b in trubblol now!!!!
*whoooooooooooooooooooosh* *spinnee spinnee* *whooooooooooooooooooosh*
*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*
Hurrrikane warningz am posted fur awl uv Cheezland!!!
Peepz in low lying area am stronglee urged tu git tu high grownd!!!
*spinnee spinnee* DIS *WHOOOOSH* IS *WHOOSHH* FUNNN!!! * WHOOOOOOOSH*
kittehz gut yur bak.
*Titens CHRG adn duz sum homewurk*
Must be purrfessional hit! No fingerprintz!
OOOOooooOOOOOoooo Make way for the CCC!
*drags CCC from earlier lol*
Nightshade, stay still, I’ll try to halp
*scoops up the brayns an spritzes with lemmin wadder*
*gently puts in branium cabity, peaces brainium togedder*
*pulls out new CHRG(wdoi) and tucky, tucky ober head*
*Rap rap rap rap rap rap ducky tapey round an round*
Hold still NS, almost don!
*Snuggls NS in floofly Cheezmap blankey, Sets up chocklit martoonie and puts a bowl ov chocklet cobered blueberries within reach*
U rest here and don’t luk at the kittehs!
Nesting fail for me! LOL
Itz teh thot dat cownts, sweeneypie — fankies fur teh reskyew!
wat about prysma-kitteh?!
AAARRRGH! O Noes!
OOOooooOOOOOoooo Make way for the CCC!
*drags CCC from earlier lol*
P-K, Ai’m commin, I’ll try to halp so hold on!!
*scoops up the brayns an spritzes with lemmin wadder*
*gently puts in branium cabity, peaces brainium togedder*
*pulls out new CHRG(wdoi) and tucky, tucky ober head*
*Rap rap rap rap rap rap ducky tapey round an round*
Almost don!
*Snuggls P-K in floofly Cheezmap blankey next to Nightshade, Sets up chocklit martoonie wit a piktur ov ‘em nearby and puts our a bigger bowl ov chocklet cobered blueberries within reach*
U rest here, hab a rest and don’t luk at the kittehs ’til later!
Oh, tank yu, sweeneypie, ai needed that! Oooh, booberries wif chokklit!!!!
awwww! Kittens were probably all shaky and sharp-clawed too!
Oh noooooo! Prysma-kitteh and Nightshayde be teh splorted!
Gif me stwenth, CC.
sweepz up 2 pyles of branes, rinse wid garden hose
putz Canadjun lookin branes in PK’s braneum cabity, Nighshayde branes in her hed cabity
pax down hed bones,
rap rap rap rap rap rap rap ducky taype
on both, pritty Orca-faised tape
leeds sufferersers to SRL, gibs awt blankies,
Koolaid, hot cawklit, sordid bayked guds,
puts lavender sleeping masques on dere eyues
Don’t look at nuffing
*wakes up groggily wif visions of her brayn sells waring tooks an carrying hokkee sticks an saying “eh”*
Ooooh… what happined? Izzat yu, maggiemom? Fank yu fur teh resku… ai waz obercomed!
yu iz teh most welcome, PK.
I noed wich wuns wuz Canadjan branes becuz each braney cell had bebbeh Maple Leeffs patturn on dem
You know, a boyfriend who sits for this probably doesn’t need disposing of…
An egg-salad point, that….
Hoomin tramploline for da kittehs, yep, hezza keeper!
**gigglol** do they, um, take care of cowwerkers too?
oar bruvvers?
Teh Rabid Weazlols duz a gud jawb, ifn dey iz still arown…
I wuz jus gonna ask if wun could negosh…negoti….”ask abawt” bosses tew…
GMTA gammacat!
Oar neybers? Mai neyber is pleh. Wun sied okay.
In lawz?
Peeplol whu toot wen tehy dryve awf !!
Boom badda booom booooom muzizz berry berrry lowwddd!
Ansaring teh sellfoan wile torkin tu sumwun ells ..
takks aygencee? (stil waytin fer $$$)
Obviously, this man has splorted from the kewtness of the floofy little bebehs. He needs the CCC.
On further review, looks like it…. (puts on hockey helmet with built-in protective visor)
D.R., this was mai thawt too, he
Took wun look an went kablooey!
Owt caem teh content suv hims craynium
Teh wallz, teh floars, awl cuvverd in brayniums!
Teh babee poofs of kitteh ar
tryne tadministur teh CPR.
Mai ownly questchun is wy dint he
splort lyke that wen he lukked at me?
I weesh he’d tell me I em pritty;
Guess I can’t compeet wiff Kitteh!
klappity, klappity!!!!
Butt – sumtaims ai DOO wish sumwun wud luk at mee an go kablooey!
Aah Fooey !!
So many pointy things.ouch.
*Hopes he no roll over*
Hai!!
Ai hoep so too!
*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH* HAALLLLP! AI DUN WANT TEW B A HURRIKANE! *WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*
*hangz awn to teh neerest tree*
Ai’ll see if ai can find teh cween. Shi iz teh awnlee wun hoo can halp!!
mai dis hurry kayn shur b noisy!!!
FANNKS!!!! SAWREE IF AI BLOWS U ‘WAY!! *WHOOOOOOOSH*
Uh-oh!! deh hurrycayne pullinged deh bonking stick owt uv mai bag. it b bonking deh hurry cayne!!!!
That mite just doo it! Yoo dont hav to be holding it – do yoo??
Mite it doo sumthing else awn itz ohn??
wun never noez. 8)
Oh mai! lukkit that! Therez a teenee tinee itsy bitsy wee littlol mausie down there!
Careful!! Dont step awn it. Itz so KYOOOOOT!!!
Skweeeeeee!!
*bendz WAAAAY down an piks up teh eenee tinee itsy bitsy wee littlol mausie*
•putz hurr in a litlol maushaus*
Dont werree – yoo ar saef nao.
Butt – we haz a problim?? Hao can yoo bonk such a teenee tinee itsy bitsy wee littlol mausie wif that grate big bonker an nawt swkish hurr???
*runs around, skared*
Weight! Nawt to bee teh skeered. Ai think ai noe waht to do.
BRB! ;}
Heer – a teenie tinee bit ov cheez to gib yoo sum strenght.
*
*fetches teh big bonking stik*
*taeks aut handeedandee swiss ar mee nife*
*wittle auf a littlol sliver – size ov a toofpik*
THERE!
This shud werk.
*reeches into teh teenie tinee maushaus an gibs teh mausie a verree gentlol hed bonk*
*bonk*
*grow*
*floof*
Yay! I’z bak tew normal syze!
An teh MORELLE ov teh storee iz ~
Be careful waht yoo wish fur – becuz yoo mite just get it~
Ai didunt wanna b a MOWSE! Ai jus wanted tew get majikcally hedbonked! Wil ai b in teh cheeztown cryer? :O
Cuz u can’t habs a hurry cayne in cheezland wifout sum news bout it!
We shud Sir Tin Leigh tern it in to teh editor!
We’ve had menee things – but ai think this iz indeed teh furst hurry kane hoo terned into a maus.
Iz kinda embarrassing… ai wuz beeg adn powerful, adn den smawl adn vul… vulne… week.
Hao tew turn in to teh editor??
Percy Bysshe Shelley
OZYMANDIAS
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away”.
Send it to teh Cryer – an “decisions will be maed.”
*clappy* Ai red dat pome fur skool a yeer oar sew ago!
Oh, janet, I haz awlwayz lubbed dat pome!! Fankeez fur bringing it heer!!
Yew see??? Awl this lerning iz reelee useful, too!
*diggz toe in durt*
Awww. . .yur welkom!
Awlwaiz bin wun ov mai favirts too!
An a reelee gud thing to member wehn we get a littlol too impresst wif hoo we ar.
Sawree fur nawt being sew smart bout dis, but HAO? I’z lukkin at teh Cryer, but ai can’t fur teh lyfe uv me figgur awt hao to sending anyfing…
*klik awn cweenmj’s majiklol bloo naem, an yoo will noe ebreeting!
Oh – sorree. Ai dint reed cloaselee enuf.
Yoo were ober there an cudn’t see hao to send sumthing.
LOL!! Ai dont noe frum there eether. Ai just send thingz to cweenmj! Butt cleerlee ebreewun ELSE noes.
We shud consult teh source. Az soon az shee comes bak.
aifinkso u can findify it under teh “about deh Cheez Town Cryer” secshun. U can emayo teh cween hurself.
Fanks, KaiEm!
*bonk*
*shrink*
*squeak*
*scoops up wildbreeze*
*tucks in pokkit*
cheezland iz a danjerus playce for a mowse! u kin stay in mah pokkit if u wants. Der are sum crums in der.
teh mausie in nice KaiEm pokkit too!
I’z bak tew normal! Fankew, KaiEm adn JCH4K!
aiz glad ur okees!
Me tew!
oh fankyoo! ai shud refreshify moar free…freeekw… often.
Trooo – purrrhaps. BUTT – if yoo had, tehn yoo wudn’t hav awlso taekn care ov teh mausie – an that wuz a fine thing to see.
Hav yoo ebber red teh thred awn teh Cryer – ai think it mite bee in “Advenchoors” – “Teh Nite at teh Oscars?”
It wuz reelee wyld an woolee wif peepl awl ober teh plaice becuz it wuz happening so fast peepl dint hav taim to refresh. But SOOO much fun!
ooo sownds fun! ai will go reed it
Furst tiem I met teh Hubby, he sed hiz kitteh Smokey wuz shy n dat I shouldn’t be offended if I dint see her.
2 hourz later she was sleepin n purrin on my chest.
Luv at awlmoast furst site!
da kittehs awl-wayz gno bout peeps!
o, ai had a similar storee wif mah Tic Toc kitteh! Ai had a boyfrend hoo wuz teh bad bad bad, adn Tic Toc did nawt laik him at all. He ignorified him adn wuz actin teh weerd. Ai got rid uv dat boyfrend adn got mai now-huzzbin, adn ai warned him dat mai Tic Toc did nawt laik mah boyfrends (ai had nawt figyoored owt juss how bad mai nawt-sekkund boifrend wuz yet) adn he wuz prepared for a basement cat frum teh basemint! Butt (!) Tic Toc LUBBED him adn sitted on my now-huzzbin’s lap and nao we all libs happilee together. Dat wuz 7 yeers ago
deh kittehz noez! yup dehy du!!
Cween mj, ai hazza kweshchun!
Ask away, Wildbreeze!!
nevur mynd. ai jus wanted tew kno hao tew writ tew u tew mebbe get stuff awn teh Cryer, but ai figgured it awt. Ai sended u an email!
*nods*
goggies sumtymes noes tu. ai has lernt mai lessun an wil nevvur dowt mai goggie evur agin!
ooo mai goggie duznawt laik peeplol ai donut laik eether. Animlols are teh smart!
This reminds me of when I’d visit the adoptable kittens at the local pet store. They had about a dozen running amok in this room that you could go in and socialize with them in this one time. So I go in and I start petting the first 3 or 4 that came up to me, next thing I know I’ve got about 6 in my lap and 3 or 4 more playing king of the hoomin on my back. I wanted to take the whole lot of them home with me.
Kittehz ar laik tater chips! Hard to stop after teh furst wun!
Hummm. So THAT explainz teh fife kittehs deckoratin teh hause! An yer four, I betcha!
yu meen is nawt cuz kittehs ar leik tribbuls?
Althow tribbuls iz trubblol and kittehs is koot.
Only has the one kitty now. But he’s enough of a handful all by himself. He is the very embodiment of Basement Cat, in looks AND attitude. But he’s still a sweetheart.
i could use dat
O. No midnite lol. Wee hav bin induljd an nao itz gon.
Ohai ozziemumcat !! * doan hit mi, k?
*
Itz onli mundane threw thurstdai !!
Ohai PeeBee! Gud tu sea SUMwun iz hear. Fanks fore taht – ai had noe eyedia!
*lukks at colander* Hay! Itz Caturdai! Wear did awl teh uvver daiz go??
Ai LOLd tehm awai !! * BTW, wi finely gawt sum rein !! *
An hale aicee!!! Enny be hittin yore plais? Oar yore hed??
Hale no
!! * no hey-yawl heddid mai wai !!*
Hey hey – it’s Caturday!!!
Ohai Nenne! Haha.
Tehre waz an at empt tu brrrring taht sho bakk butt(!) it dint werk. Did a fyoo speshels butt(!) nawt a weaklee fing.
Sum awld larfs frum teh parsed, Nenne
!!
I lubbed Hey, hey it’s caturday – ai had a tape that one of mah room-mates tape over, was a sad day when that happined!
There was a comedy show on ABC mah hostfamblee used to watch (in 1986) – can’t remebur the naem though…
Seing that all mah ozzie cultural refrinces arefrum 1986 – ai can also reminiss about great moosiklol icons like Kids in the kitchin and Neighbours with jason donovan an kylie minogue
Lottsa ozzie gurlz wer naimd Kylie raond taht tiem !!
* Kylez fur shawt !! *
*snikr*
only ozzies could not-shorten a name and say it’s “for short”
Iz tuu shawta !! Onli wun sillybull nao !! STN
Yes. Ai bleev ai hav had tihs convisashun heer befawr. (Dazza, Shazza, etc)
Possibilities – D-Generation? Big Gig?
Ewes prolly wudnut get tu si taht awn TeeBee in Norjwai !!
my host-sister was a huge Kids in the kitchen-fan!
our shared bedroom was wall-papered with posters – I never really caugh on to them though… I liked Icehouse and some INXS-songs.
Mee two! Stil plai INXS.
well tehre WAZ a linkee in tehre.
tri agen
I tracked down Man of colours by Icehouse on the intertoobs couple of years ago – still love it! I listened to the tape on my walk-man as i backpacked round oz in 1988… *sigh* – the memrees!!
Waz tryin to put it heer butt(!) it waz eeted.
this wun?
the embed-link usully dussint get eated… but just remeburr to put a spayse in the ht tp on otter wuns
Thx Nenne !! Ai reeli enjoid lissnign tu taht agen !!
Yes – taht wun. Ai dunno wy ai culdn get it. Thx.
well – WP’s ways are kwestshunablol…
Sheep rolly sawr it heer in teh 1980s
Ai wool agri wib yu awn taht !!
*sheepish grin*
ewe are rite!
Lukkee. Sum waz teh siez ov goluff bawls ai here. So u swimming tonite insted ov rieding?
oops. Misst
No, iz tuu wet tu swim !!
*
* Sumwun ells sed, “bfor gulph wuz inbentid, no-wun knu hao big hail stoans wer !!
We doan get mush hale hear, fankflee. Ai dint fink Melburn did eeber, juss NSW an Qld.
Ai hav a plais in Narooma, NSW an it waz fluddied lars munf wen awl teh hevvy rane caym.
Yu stil waitign tu hab a shaor ?? * ob raen, obcorss !!
*
Yep. Appharentlee
we had 0.2mm wuns in Feb butt(!) aifinkso taht waz a faree tale. Up hart from taht itz bin ober 100 daiz.
Yuul hab tu drinc beer wen u run owt ob worta
!!
Culd maek lief intresting!! “Gud maorning shildrin. Pleesh
shifind ur sheetz.”Aim nawt a beer fan butt(!) tehre is awlwais burrbin anofcors ginnantonnix.
U scene teh ‘bom’ site raydar? U iz srowndid!! Get teh umbrlollas!
ooh – is it akshulleh going to rain in Victoria??
Wi had a phew spitz bifoar butt(!) iz geddign wet awn teh hed dai tudai !!
* Yu can czech rite nao if yu am kwik !! *
ht tp://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDR512.shtml
o_O
wares dis committee when u needs it?
takin a nap or sumfin ai fink
sownds rite.
Luks tu b part ov teh Kramer Methud fur soshulyzin ferul babeh kittehs. Wii did it awn a littr ov kittehs las summr, n it wurkz, lemmeteludis.
hmmmmm….i finkso i muss tell mah mom and dad dis……………