THE CHEEZBURGER MACHINE Why is it covered, and why are you sitting in your chair without a spatula?
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THE CHEEZBURGER
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Staaaart grillin!!
Happycat nawt happy wiff ur layziness.
Bring awn teh conga rats! Angel is nawt second!
Fankees, cp … ai is tyed wiff carosue! *dans-danswifftehrats-dans*
Has we met befoar? *extends furry paw ob frenship*
Teh Conga Ratz ar awn there way.
Tehy ar a littlol slo – tehy just gotted out ov teh HedSplortRecoverWard at ar LOLSpital neggst to teh Princess Mu Meadow yesterday. Membrr?? Teh kitteh eeted them, an tehn horked tehm up again.
Tehy were sposed to stay in teh RatHaus an rest until Mundane – BUTT – fur AngelPlume and carosue, tehy hav agreed to doo a littlol dans.
*Teh 12 CongaRatz dans slolee aut. Tehy ar drisst as waitrrrs an waitresses.
Teh BoiRatz ar balansing trays ov fresh, hawt Cheezburgers awn wun paw, teh other paw behind there baks.
The GrrrrlRatz ar carrying littlol trays wif ketchup, mustard, relish an yumyuns an porshuns ov tastee Frownsh Fraeiz.
Tehn they awl neel down an put teh trays down in a lion in frunt.
Tehy (sum ar still limping a littlol) dans slowlee off.
An EBREEWUN iz invited to enjoy teh Burgers an Fraiez!
Tehy circlol slolee around teh room, weeving in an out
O deer, ai didnt meen tu innerupt deyr rekubbery!
Ai fawt deze wer still the stand-ins (mauses in ratty kostooms).
Fankees so much guis adn gals … doan strayn urseffs!
Lessee, cheezburger wiff musturd adn yumyuns, adn friez.
skyoozmeh.
*nom-nom-buuuuurp!*
Ohai! Ai beeyin littlol leyt beecuzz ai hadded a kawnsurt steyj fingy. Butz nao ai has a litloll giift fer ya. REEL CONGA RATZ!!
<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–<'D_)–
w00t!! w00t!! lukking gud!
Duz u playing a mew siklol instermint??
Noh, ai m in kwiyur. Ai gess ai has mowf mew sik.
Ai’m in a kwiyur, tew! Ai lubs tew sing.
Ohai, CB. Ai haz bin reedin ur profail an ai see u haf teh sugar gliders. Taht is teh animule from Oz an Nyoo Ginnee an it iz byootiful!! Did u haf teh mutch trubblol gettin tehm to be inpawted to teh US?
nowei! Drer iz sertyfyd breedr heer in meh siteh!
nawt that kold!
Ai doan see no snoz. Whutz ur eggskyoose?
Ur sittin owt heer in ur chair — it kint be dat kold!
Kold nawt a factor wif cheezeburger machine. It haz fire to cook da meet. An YU kan put awn a coat! Get grillen!
Even if ther b sno, you can shovel…and den get grillen!
inna a howse ai used to libe in, a guy cross da street used to grill just inside his open garage door when it rained. Adn, he wuz alwayz inna suit. Eben mowed a tiny yard on a riding mower inna suit.
Taht wudnut suit mi, butt(!) it mussed hab suited hym !!
Mebbeh he laykt goin tu teh clubz fer a drink arfter himz dinna…
Time for noms!
Heer, ahl gets u started.
*gets owt teh lyter flooid*
*sprayz it awn teh grill cubber*
*stands bakk, frowz match*
FOOM!
shood we call teh fyremens, just in case?
Ittul burn itseff owt in a minnit, den we can lyte teh grill.
but (!) that duzznt meen yu can’t call teh fyremens!
Fankees, AngelPlume. Ai wuz gettin redee tu do that down teh brayd….ohhhh de flaymes r a liddol hi fur teh burgers, donutink?
*teh flayms burn doan*
*teh grill kools awf*
*opens grill, adds charkoals*
*sprayz awn sum lyter flooid*
*stands bakk, frows anubber match*
FOOM!
*dialz nine lebenty.
Hallo?? nine lebenty??? kud u send fyremenz??
Wai yes,, az a madder uv fackt wii duz haz a fyere!!! AngelPlume b going up in a Plume uv flamez!!!
Silleh cween, datz juss teh grill.
Ai lurnd tu stand bakk befoar frowin teh match.
*luks around to teh other Cheezpeeps*
*whispurrs*
Mehbee we shud eaze AngelPlume awai frum teh grill befor deh whiskurs start to kurl…aifinkso
*iyez luuk dreemy*
Pritty fyres. Pritty.
OH NOES!! Pls cween, tu be cawlin teh ninelebenty agin and ask dem to send teh e em teez with teh fyremens, AngelPlume haz been sniffin teh lyter flooids!!
*Lukz at fyremenz*
Pritty!
*Aiz haz a dreemy*
*putz owt teh fyre and places deh burgers awn teh JorgeFourmangrill*
*taykes teh cween and AngelPlume and teh fyremens insyde to get reddy for teh finnished burgerz*
OK, evey-bodee, teh burgerz are reddy!!
An fur dezert, teh speshull rumcaek!
Ware am ai? Whutz dis?
Cheezburger!! *nom-nom-nom*
Adn luuk at dis, rumcaeks! Fankeez FRN!
Oooh- rumcaek!
Nomonomnomnom.
Fanks, FRN1.
mmm mmm! fyremans *nomnom nom*
Dey is tastee and new trishyus also2!
I’m goona need to borrow yr fums.
Sumwunz nawt doin hiz JOB!!!!11!!
You r da FireRN1, do somefing!
*wispurrs*
Aifink FireRN1 wud be moar liekly to halp if teh purrrsun doin teh grillin hazzan injuree.
Does lazeeness couwnt as an injuree?
Nawt unless it rekwires mediclol attenshuns, aifinkso.
Uvverwise, ai iz in trubblol.
Lethergee sertanlee cownts az a mekal condishun dat needz applekashun of deh kattelprod when cheezburgers nawt be in mayde!!!!
on da otter paw, ai will sertanlee assist in teh fyre makin!!
*whips owt lyter flooid an Bic*
Owt uv curiosity, iz u rillee a nurse, FireRN1?
Ohai FireRN1! I an RN too, I think we’re frum da same aria, centrolol Ilynoise?? Snowy here!
Yesh, nightshayde, in deh RW ai am a nurse. Awso Fyrefyter. Ohai rumtumtugger! Sayme areea and itz wet, heavee sno, iznt it?
Very hevy and blowy, but beayootimus on the piney trees.
oh hai, an welcome, rumtum! *eggstends floofy paw uv frendingness* iz so good tew see so minny gnuly delurked! Wut a good idea, my cween!
*bows to FireRN1*
Dat beez awsum! Mah FIL wuz a paramedic & Fyrefyter fur mennee yeerz befoar he retired. Ai wuz a certified EMT fur a fyoo wiles, but ai haz letted mah certificayshun lapse.
Oooh! Fynalleh! A fyrewimmenz!
(Iz been rekwestin fyrewimmenz for qwite a whilol nao, wiff no resolve)
Akshulleh, ima stoopie. I wuz lookin at deh wrong profyle. So please tew be fergivvin meh, FireRN1 if yew is wiffout ovaries!
Nawt tu worriez, ovaries, ai haz them.
*whew*! Good. I hadda werried! I nice goggie and donut wanna be offendin the cheezpeeps!
Ohai, FireRN1. Ai cant faind ur profail. Bloo linky dusen tayk me tehr an nawt eben teh manyooal way ob taiping in ur naim.
Serviss — ur doin it rong!
Congrats to carosue and AngelPlume! Heir iz a plat uv cheezburgrs haot offa teh grill, wif awl teh trimmings. ia tink teh RL haz takn awl teh cheezpeeps.
ia haz neber got heer wen der wer NO commints B4!
Fankeez, tcw! *nom-nom-nom!* Nao datz a cheezburger!
U caym pritty cloase tu nawt-sekkund … keep tryin adn yool mayk it!
Dem cheezburgurs nawt gonna cuuk demselbs, yu nose!
Dare haz bin enuf tiem four wun, tu, elebenty kommentz an still no serbice? Yu iz fired!
ohai, wolfkit! am hopin yoo iz feelin ok? donut merember ifn ai eggstended teh floofy paw lass nyte, but! pleez be considerin it eggstended! (ai iz layte tew teh party, as yoosual, so, yoo maynawt see it.)
Nawt-Sew-Happycat is lukking pritty pistoff, Aifinkso!
Goin intu cheezburger wiffdrawls. Yood be pissy tuu.
Or at leest hissy.
Heer, ketch! *frows a hissy-fit*
*ketchez hissy-fit, dribbols it akross deh deck, tossez it to nightshayde*
*leeps*
*ketchez hissy-fit*
*slam-dunks hissy-fit*
Teh crowd goez WILD!!!!1!!!!!!!elebenty!!!!!
bawlhissy, guiz!Whew! Ai shur amzda dizzee! Wared da fyremens go? Ai finkso ai kneads oxigin or tonicgin?
Sowwy, HissyFit. Ai hoap ai diddint hurt u.
*pours HissyFit a beeeeeeg tonicgin*
*sets HissyFit in a comfy recliner wif a blankee & sawft warm slippurrrrs*
Aaaaah, dat sall bedder. Da dribloling wuz da wurst. Luklolee, ai iz beri floofy nad landed softlee.
*sips tonicgin nad reklinez tu watch snow*
Oh, HissyFit!! ai had no ideea oar ai wood hab NEBBER dribboled yu!
dats okay, FireRN1. Da slamdunk feeled leik ai wuz flyin -ravver fun.
Mai mama iz da retyred RN. Mai respeks tu yur carin nad heelin peeps.
ohai, HissyFit! eggstends floofy paw uv frendingness. Ai am behind awn welcoming teh gnulu delurked, but…but…welcome!
*wispurz* hissyfit nawt gnu, juss a sumtymz poastur.
Sowwy if we wuz a littlol ruff, but glad tu has hur speek up!
Ohai Sunnyhuckle!
*wayves floofy paw bak**
Sumwun siad it bedder on delurker dai- ai iz a phew and far betweenie. RL nad awl dat stuffings. Tunite, da snowing, it slllllooooowwwwwssss fings down.
ai had noh koffee dis mourning.
Uh,oh! *hides*
*leaves owt some Redbulll fer Keshet*
tu layt nao. ai is sippyng ruut bere. ai triis nawt tu drinks kaffeen en teh evuning.
ohai, DamianaGMD! eggstends a floofy paw uv frendingness! Welcome tew our playgrownd!
Oh hai, SH! *eggstends orinj (nawt poysin!) floofy paw nd shaeks wif SH*
Akshully, AI haz lurked heer awhyle, butt (!) sorta speeking up frum tyme tew tyme…..moastly after teh pleh wurk. Purrhaps tihs summer Ai can postings moar off ten, Aihopeso!
Iz sew hard to gets gud help dese days…
Oh hai, shepmom!! haz I meeted u b4?? enneeway, welkum tu Cheezland!!!
Probably not met fishally, but I has posted before. *…extends floofy paw…* Ai iz berri pleezed to be here and to meet you Cween – ai lurvs Cheezland and all teh cheezfriends!
*…puts out platter of shreddy veja tables to goes wif cheezburgers…*
hi shepmom! Sunny iz behind awn all her welcomes, but…but…welcome! *eggstends floofy paw uv frendingness*
So minny gnu peeps! warms teh cockles uv my hart.
Hi Sunny! *…viggourussly shakes floofy paw uv frendingness…* ai iz very happie to meet u!
Ai has nawt had ma kawfee yet, an I thot ur post sed “warms teh cookies of my hart” … heehee!
nite all. Im going to luk for cheezburgers.
to all cheezpeeps getting snowed on – stay safe & warm!!
**Schmoo, hedbonks, and purrs**
Gnyte gamma, sleep well. May u dreem ob cheezburgers!
‘nyte, gamma. Warn cuddols while yu sleeps.
*hedbonk*
Iiiiiii’m dreeming uv a griiiiiilllllled cheezburger!!!
Just like deh wunz I used tu nom!!!
oh teh wether owtsyde iz fritefull,
but teh fyre iz so delitefull,
an az long az we gotz da will,
let it grill, let it grill, let it grill!!
Ferry nais, FireRN1. Yoo in teh kwier too? Or jus teh stayj shoa?
I lufs thees classik songz wif da gnu Cheezburger Twist!
Byootifull singin, cweenmj.
wi is eggspekting moar rayn sew noh grrlling fur mi. ai is hassing cheezburger makaroni tunite.
**Red comez staggerin in, luukin awflol!**
**She iz holdin hur hed, witch haz peeses of dukky tayp hangin awf it an wut luuks lyk teh remnints of a CHRG barelee hangin awn**
Oooowwww……halp.
Ka-THUNK onna floor
whir yur kittehs beeyun cyoot agin?
*snaps a gnu CHRG on Red’s hed*
I wuz layin awn teh cowch wen Sarah climbed up awn me an layd down.
Hur den “meltid” akross me an wuz sew kyoot I finkso I splortid!
Teh nexst fing I kno, I wuz commin 2 an hadda try to ficks my own splort.
Duz u need the CCC, hoam edishun? We duz howse-cawls, ykno.
ai wundur iffen Life Alert alsew moniturs fur splorts?
Hewlp, I’ve splorted an I kannawt git up!
*Iffin de peeps nawt familiar wif ICHC, yu mite git da police cawled awn yu tho*
dey myt sends teh pairamedics oar teh fyremins.
Maebe FireRN1 cumz, shee wood no wat 2 do!
aifinks shi culd nawt du et awl on hur oan. shi wuld bi tu bizzy wif awl teh splortin taht gose on arownd heer.
Da kitteh purr sleepin spell! Yes, myne kittehs haz put mii under it many tymes!
oh my, rhsb! can ai be tew halpin? let me see, heer; oh my! sunny rinsees teh trailing braynes in teh wite finzandel, tew be halpin rhsb tew relax. Then carefully checks awn teh braynes, oops, iz sum heer taht gawt missed, ai will halp. * carefully repacks rhsb’s brains into teh brayne place, replaces teh loose brayne bones, an applies CHRG wdoi (of happy kitties). Verrry gently applies teh dukky taype (haz hello kitteh awn it) and leeds rhsb tew teh splort recubbery lounge. Wraps her moas carefully inna floofy cheezpeeps map blankee…ai thinks yoo iz needin sumfin stronger than teh standard hot chokklit. Hands rhsb a hot mug uv Irish coffee, an a plateful uv teh choklit possums. Iz okay, rhsb? iz yoo feelin bedder? *sunny worries anxiously, ahcuz NO won shud haf tew be doin there own splort repair!*
Someone shud take Sarah and Dini for a while, so redd nawt splortz again. She probly nawt know cuz it’s so late! YOINK!
Ai haz teh smawl kitteh cald Biggie (!) an he dus tihs ebery nait – stans on mai chess tehn clapsis an purrs an purrs. Tihs is teh signlol fur teh hedrub pleez. If ai doan get teh missij he grabbing teh han an push, push till ai hedrubz. Cewt!! Nawt at free ina moarnin thoa!
Put down the beer, take off the cover and pick up the spatula! I hazza a hongry!
Mee dee yum rayr wif lotsa cheez kthx.
ai leiks teh grrlled unyuns on myn.
grlled unyuns, cheddor and bbQ. Mmmm…………
Hansum kitteh thoe – himz haz Rushin Blu in him?
Dunno, but nawt seemz to be rushin enyware – juzt standin theayr glarin
Culd be. Prittee.
Oh hai cheez peeps! an a big fat happy friedegg tew awl! Ai haz only been a cheezpeep fur a few monfs, althow naow it seems like much longer! Ai jus want tew be takin teh oppurtunity tew be thankin awl uv yoo fur accepting me, an frendin me, an lubbing me, an halpin me thru awl my tr0ll trubbles! ai donut noze wut ai wudda done wiffowt my cheezfrens, an awl teh lubs an beems an gud wishes yoo haz sent my way! Tew teh gnuly delurkified, ai can only say, “well met!” an yoo haz discubbered teh moast best place awn teh innertoobs! So, welcome tew our hidey-hole, our panacea, our succor, our playgrownd! Ai hopes yoo lubs it heer az much az ai do, and, know taht yoo will be lubbed and appreciated heer az long az yoo play nice an iz sincere. Maybe, as a pretty much gnu peep myself, ai am speeking owt uv turn, but, ai speek frum my hart win ai say taht cheezland iz teh moast wunnerful. Peace tew awl hoo enter heer, iz a berrrry speshul place! schmooooz!
{{{sunnyhuckle}}} glad u fownd teh majiks. is a speshul playse.
Srsly, AngelPlume! ichc haz made teh worst tyme uv my lyfe into sumfin ai could get thru, an manage. Ai owes awl teh cheezpeeps a jimongus debt. But, teh best way ai can find tew be repayin iz; tew be nice an welkomming tew gnu peeps, an tew donate tew teh local no-kill shelter az much az ai can, wevver it be tymes, or munnies, or donations uv other stuffs they need. This ai duz gladly, an wif pride!
ohai sunnyhuckle, i wanted to telling yoo, i re-reeded teh fing yoo writed abowt how yor hubby camed to be tr0ll. iz most byootiful an poetic peese ob writiing in tribyoot to thoze hard-wurking manz!
o an doan furgit- joo needs to maek teh freshkut fryes tew goh wif mah cheezburger. doan joo der furgits teh baykin eeber!