Basement Cat Jr’s 1st Day of School
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Basement Cat Jr’s
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Lernin 2 be wikkid!
yay!!!
fast-fingered Anni!
have sum passionfruit buttercake !!!
Ooooh yumme! Thx Nenne!
I. WANT. CAYKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Careful, ebreebuddee! There are bwaynz all over the place, down thread. Tighten you protective head covers now. Put on your goggles. And watch out where you’re walking!!
Ooh, fanks fur teh warning!
.
*Titens CHRG an adds 50s bavin cap*
.
Dat bebbeh BC is definitely splortashusly snorgalishus! (Or is dat snorgalishusly splortashus?) DO WANT!
learn tu resist thid!
Squeeee! Is adorablol, dis littlul wun!!! Awwww….
Yesh, he is! Ohai, Upfi! Hao is mah fayvrit caterpilllolr today? *jently pats Upfi’s feelers*
learning hao to tayk over te wurld:
step 1: mayk shure awl teh hoomins are splorted…
*titens CHRG*
Awww! Tihs IZ teh cewtist. Ai carnt helllp maiselff…
*SPLORT*
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up OM’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Oh Noes,
OzcatMum is daon!
It’s been 2 long. Let’s see:
*Open Brainial Cabbity
Rinse owt wif expensive fizzy waturs
Sweepy da brains off da floor
Rinse da braynes wif aforsed fancee waturs
Gently playce brains in cabbity
Replace hedbones
Tapey tapey wif da rainbow dukt tape.*
Here you go OCM. A hawt chokklit, chokklit possum and a warm blanket.
Don’t be lukkin at that pikshur agin wifout protekshun!
Ofanks, Anni an Phat Cat (hoo ai hab nawt met be4) *extends slytlee wobblee floofy paw*.
Taht iz teh lubbliest littlol BC ai ahf seen ebber!
Breev in, breev owt…. taiten helmets…
*Takes wobbley floofy paw*
Ohai OzcatMum
I mostlee lurks laytelee cuz I has Real Life Sindrome prety bad dese days.
Nice to meet you!
Awwwwwwwhis kyuuut. Ai wants to snorgle hims awl over.
>^;^<
Awwww his sooooo kyute. Ai wants to snorgle hims.
>^;^<
Me too, me too! Love that liddlol bow-tie! *swoons but does not splort*
*swoons AND splorts*
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up Leeza’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Oh nose! Leeza B! Hang on tight
*CCC swings wildly into the room*
*Sweep up all the lovely bwaynz*
*Rinse brains in room temp San Pellegrino water*
*Gently, yet firmly, places bwaynz back in hed bone*
*Snapz on new CHRGwdoi*
*Lots of ducky tapa*
*Lifts up Leeza in a firemen’s carry and gets her to fainting couch in Splort Recovery Lounge*
*Hands Leeze a cup of tea with a shot of whiskey in it*
*drapes warm mohair blankee over her knees*
*hands her the uniform tax code to read to take mind off kitteh*
There yougo!
aw, fanks anni and Q…. I feels better! I fink I wud be ok if I cud just pet teh kitteh….
*luks hoepful*
R yu lying down?
*gently puts bebbeh BC in skwirrlgrrl’s arms, right ober her heart, so teh rytmn stays steddy*
breeve slowly and deeply, keep eyes closed, and no harm will come.
to teh kitteh, anyway. Not so sure about yu.
lurnin to be cool, calm an coll….
*powncies a toy mousie*
…ectid…
Dis be a lebel elebendy splort warnin! Do NAWT luk at pikshur wifout CHRGs tightly fastened and HGGs on!
Am laet to party but in big dangur of splorting…. Gud thin I got a new CHRG (w/DOI) lasterday on De-Lurker day. Mr. and Mrs. Basement Cat must be so proud of such kyuut and serious son kitteh.
ARRGHH!!! Ai iz ded!
SPLORT!
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up catena’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
*kumz roun slowlee*
thx, anni!
aisle lye heer kwiutlee adn nom teh yummee choklit!
Yup! i knewed it! Its a massakre, a MASSAKRE, i tells yu!!!! Piktoors lyke dis shud bii bannded bai teh Geneba conven… conshun… thingy!
O, an SPLORT!
Oh Noes,
AfriCat is daon!
*Open Brainial Cabbity
Rinse owt wif expensive fizzy waturs
Sweepy da brains off da floor
Rinse da braynes wif aforsed fancee waturs
Gently playce brains in cabbity
Replace hedbones
Tapey tapey wif da rainbow dukt tape.*
Here you go Africat. A hawt chokklit, chokklit possum and a warm blanket.
Don’t be lukkin at that pikshur agin wifout protekshun!
Phew! Fanks Phat Cat. I’ll jus lie heer furr a wyle an recubber. Hmmmm! Nyce hawt chokleet!
OMCC!!!! Ai just popped bai fur a minnit. . . must go to town. . .
*thiniks ov taxes*
*thinks ov snow & ice*
*titens CHRG(wd. . . .TOO lA
SPLORT!!!!
DAME JANET IS DOWN!!!!
Janet, pleez to luk away frum teh behbeh, kthx. Here, nibblol on this scone whyle I saves yoo.
*hands Janet a scone and a cuppa hot drink of yor choyce*
Teh CCC sleigh coems by, led by tynee reyndeer. Elebenty-two kittehs jumps off! Teh brayns! Teh CHRG! Teh tayp! They kuvvers awl teh bases. And with style and charm! Wun kitteh offers Janet a pillo, anuther offers her a blankee. They stands arownd her and purrs and snorgles her. Pleez to awayke nao, Janet, but luk away frum teh behbeh BC, pl, kthx!
*sitz up weekly*
deer gremlin! Ai NOO yoo wud com an save me!
*sip sip sip sip sip sip sip teh hawt choklit*
Thankz
An – just LISSEN to taht purring!! Ai think thiz mite bee teh Best Reskyew EBBER!!
Ai am just halpless in teh fayce ov teh BC kittenz! Teh littlol blak nozies. . .
*sinks bak unto teh pillo an thinkz of taxes an haus cleening*
*pouts*
my bootiful binary reskew was nommed by WP – TWYCE!!!
*wobbly lip*
*slinks off – back to wurk*
Ther ther, Nenne. Pleez nawt to be teh sad! Aym shor yor reskyew wuz beyootifful! Dame Janet apprechiates it – twz teh thot that cownts!
*thinks up a gnu saying* I mayded yoo a reskyew but I eeted it. . .
Dat iz wun luvly res keew. Dat iz wun dorable lil BC. If he were tu askz me for pwom date eerlee, Ai wud sayz Jesh!
oh, nose!
*runs in wiv CCC*
*sweeps up AfriCat’s brains*
*rinses well in San Pellegrino water*
*packs back into head cabbity*
*CHRGwdoi coming right up*
*duck tape? check*
*fainting couch? check*
*fluffy blankee? check*
*stiff drink? check*
there you go, my man
Oh noes! I gitz halp! *WEEEEe-oooOOOOH* Teh CCC arrives! It is a sleigh drawn by a bunch of teeny-tynee rayndeers!
Elebenty kittehs jump owt and reskyew AfriCat! Wun puts a pillo under hiz hed. Anuther kleens up teh brayns. Yet anuther tuks them bak inna hed, and tayps heem up. Three moar kittehs offers heem snakkies, drinkies, and oh yes, a floofy blankee. Pleez to stand bak nao, kittehs, giv heem sum air!
Woohoo! A tribel reskew! Am i lukkee oar wut? Fanks tu Q an Gremlin furr teh wunnerfull reskew.
ur rite!!!
O, and…
oh noes! AC is down!!!
*runs in wif de portablol CC-hampur*
*skoops braynes up an rincies with passhun fruit sparkleh mineral water*
*playcis brayns back in cabbity and put headbone back*
*tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp wif ducky taep – hello Kitty akshulleh*
*puts on multiplol CHRGs an moar tayp tayp tayp tayp*
*Puts AC in a floofeh blankitt, in teh comfy chair in de recubbery room – wif a cup ob hot chocklit and som donuts an a glass ob Rosinas majiklol recubereh eliksir*
Here – read these planning permisshun-applicashuns frum 1957 – or think of angree camelols – shud unsploart u in just sekkunds!!!
A kwadrupple save!!!! Fanks Nennepus! Hmmm, i’m beginning tu get used tu dis majiklol recubbery eliksir…
Anni, you’re doing yeoman service with the CCC.
Aifinkso you deserve a special medal and commendation for all the hard work. Where’s taht cween when you need her???
Ai agree!! Awl bowowowing tu Annipuss, soopreem reskewer ob teh splorted kitteh lukers.
*ta da on teh trumpets*
*wanderz in wif severe case uv bedhed.
I slept in dis moarning! but dere b plenty uv resQerz heer tu halping.
Teh BC iz deffenittlee teh MOST danjrus kitteh. Speshlee wehn az yung az tihs wun an wif teh boetai as well. Goin tu brake a fyoo harts tihs littlol fella.
It’z teh floof too, I must say, stikkin owt at awl angles lyke that.
*gits owt a comb and combs down that rekless fuzz* Ther, littlol wun. *notisses a fuzz owt of place, puts sum spit on mah finger and rubs that owta-lyne fuzz until it behaves, while teh kitteh skwirms* OK, nao yor gud to go! Hav a gud day at skool! *waves bye*
Yep. Ai haz had teh floofy littlol BCs sebberal taims acors ai cannt reezist bringing tehm hoam.
SQUEE!! a teeny tiny lil blakkitty!! wif… wif… FLOOF… an… an… a teeny tiny lil bow tie… iz too mutch… *swoons in attempt to avert splort*
*puts swooning cowch under Kwithie* Luk away, luk away! Here, let me distrakt yoo. Wuld yoo lyke a nom or a drink of sumkynd? A blankee?
*shoves swooning couch under Kwithie just in thyme*
there – an have sum chonklit possums to nom on!!
Oh, fankies, gremlin an Nennepus!! I was owt fore a lawng thyme wif taht swoon, aifinkso!
Oh, an naow taht ai’m recubbered, ai wood lub a chonklit possum. plz to shair swooning cowch and nom wif mii.
Insomnia, lemme sho yu mine
. I gess ai will hab sum caik and sum moar tee.
Maibee hees goin tu his nawt secund dansdansdans and deres a prittee calico ’round da corner wif a corsaj on
Awww!
*luks at mentlol pikshoor*
S.. P.. L.. O.. R.. T..
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up Nenne’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Thanks!
*nibblols onda chonklit possum*
Africat waz rite – itz a mass.. masca .. killing!
Ooo a mentlol splort, sorree
Sendin yr kid tu skuel wif n owtfit dat iz shor tu get him teezd? Baysmint Kat iz ebin ebilur dan I fot.
Basement Cat didn’t always used to be evil. It’s all the other kiddie-kittehs fault, for teasing him about his bowtie. Muahahaha…
BTW waht iz a chonklit possum? Iz layk a fred oh frawg?
Yes, only shaept liek a possum (chozen becoz it iz nawt a beryy splort-maekin aminlol)
Ofanks, Anni. Dis iz in TRW or jus Cheezland? Ai neva noe waht wundress fings can be bort an sold in TTI an teh US. We haz teh fred oh frawg an teh ‘Caramello Koala’ wif teh caramel insaid it. Pluss awl teh otha chocklits ob corse.
I dunno if u kin finding dem in deh Reel Whirrld oar not, but dey am widely availablol in Cheezland.
But dat not twu. Hamericant Opussums may be nawt haev de kutes but Aussie possums are sof an cuddlee. I ewes tu hab one coem an shaer nanas wiv mee in bakyard. She would sit on my showder or my lap an nibble away till nana awl gone. Me ewes tu get nana shaeped yiddle paw-printz on my clothes fwom her.
Anna yiddle sugar possums are eben much cuter dan dat.
Awww! Ai haz a possum that cums in mai garage to sleep in kitteh bed- menny peeps think iz ugly but AI think iz kyuut- we callz him/her Chuck! (Dis iz opossum virginia)
{{{{luvscatsva and Chuck teh adorablol possum}}}}
Souns lyke teh kyuttees.
Wuz diz kina wild possum? Nawt yur oan wif cage sumwhere?
The thot of luvscatsva’s possum in kitteh bed is awlso teh kyute.
OHai luvs an Angel – Possum wuz wild, not kan haev hear wivout spech papers of allowing. But I not feed it regulal liek. Just now an den az spech treets. She allays noes it me an I have nana ‘cept onz I didn an she gots pouty cause I offered cawwot furzt. Not as nomilishess as nana.
luvscatsva – we hav tu be vewy carful not to let possums inna roof or they maeks stinky messes but we did haev one fall doown chimbley onz. It hokay, just wobbly walky out of houwse.
Oh lil bebbeh BC. *Averts eyes, titens CHRG, thinks bout stack uf paper wurks tayken over desk*
Two wurds: inkum tacks!
Dat duzznt werk fer me, ai is gettin refunded so ai is kinda happee. Ai gess is acuz ai hab no deduckshuns oar annefink.
Bebbeh Bawll ubz Floof
willz nawtz beez pikktdz awn! Charjjez
himz Layzurr Beem Ieez!
Bebbeh Bawll ubz Floof
habz beenzd tooturrdz bye Bayssment
Cat. Knoez lawtza trikkz!!
Bebbeh Bawll ubz Floof
willz yooz ‘Kewtness’ 2 purr~swayd
himz fewchurr minnyunnz!!!
Jack.
Ohai Jack. Nais pome agen.
Ai doan see teh layzurr beem ieez jus yet tho. Jus sof grey an berry cewt.
Ai wil be yur furs minyun an ai hab brung yu a teenee cumberbind to goes wif yur botai. Ai is still lukin fur a tophat. Wach uwt nene, das anudder kyoot mental pic.
*speaks sternly to drgnfly* Nao, hey ther! Yoo ar giving peeplol mental pikshors that will endangerify them to splorts! Pleez to be kayrful, or we will haf to charj yoo with accessory to a splort. . .
*thinks abowt tynee matching cumberbind; grins widely*
Wellll, he alreddy has da tails!
An iffn yu bringz him sum noms yu betterer be puttin it on da Ritz!
wif dat elegant imaijj, it’s time to bring out teh champers and cabiar.
*kittehs like teh fishy cabiar*
sweepehz teh floor, spreds teh slippy polishin beeds awn floor.
Setz up B&W cameras
Cuez up teh Fred an Gin Jer musicz
(musicolol notes) “Puttin awn teh Ritz
An ai fink it suits him prittee well…
(moan) (fayce paw) (haz a jellus)
I yam sittin heer at my desk grinnin lyke a chessie cat… peeple mus fink i’s loopy!
Ai is loopee but jus acuz a cant sleep. Ai doan werk ’till 730pm so ai has taim fur a nap.
Iz taaim fur a biiig nap heer – almos teh middynite agen. Gudnite Cheezpeeps.
It wuz veri responsyllable uv CC to haz Bebbeh Bawll ubz Floof tooturrdz.
Awww, littel blak kittehs rool. Soooo kyoot!
Ohai Grmit. U nyoo? *extens floofy paw to shayk teh hans*
Tehy do rool indeedy. Teh are teh danjeruss tho – luk haier up teh thred! Tayk cair.
Nyooish, got lots ov blak kittehs and are rooled by tem awl!
ebil nevver luuked sew kyoot!1!
SPLORT!
Ohoh! Brainfire is down!
*teh big winged lion swoops down carrying teh splort repair supplies.*
Lukkit awl those brayne cells, all wif tongues of flame of smartness and creatib inspirayshun !
*collkts tehm wif asbetos glubs, sees that the fires haz cleaned them, pakks them carefully back in plays. Applies flame-resistant CHRG and dukky tape.*
Here, brainfire, has a kawfee wif flayming brandy, and a heers a pikshoor of cirkus fireeaters to keep yur mind offa teh bebbeh BC.
o fank u booklion! *sipz teh kawfee wif brandy*
ai awlsew liek teh pikshoor ob the cirkus fyreeaterz. u am a gud purrson.
Yiykz!
*LOLspeke AWF*
Just read that Kage Baker (science fiction author, well-known especially for her Company novels and stories). I know a lot of cheezpeeps are SF fans.
*LOLspeke AWN*
Ai has eh sad…
dat iz sadd…ai relli liekd hur buk Anvil of the World….butt koodnt git intu the Companee buks atoll….
Only 2 howers old an 9 splorts alwready. Teh splort iz stwong in dis oen.
Yes, my padawany.
Yeaaaaaa!
Oh Hai Lauie!!! U am noo?? *extendz floofy paw uv frenship* Welkum tu Cheezland!!!
O noez!! Itteh bitteh basement kitteh!! Wif teh kyoot fwoofee pawz, teh eedee beedee ayz, teh liddul tayl, n teh adoaribble egg-spreshun awn himz fays!! 2 kyoot!! Itz 2 much 2 bare!!
*closes eyes and thinks of tax forms*
.
.
.
.
.
.
*opens one eye just a bit*
AAAAAHH!!1!
*that did it*
**SPLORT**
Ohoh! Aahz is down!
*teh big winged lion swoops down carrying teh splort repair supplies.*
Lukkit awl those brayne cells, all wif tongues of flame of smartness and creatib inspirayshun !
*collkts tehm wif asbetos glubs, sees that the fires haz cleaned them, pakks them carefully back in plays. Applies flame-resistant CHRG and dukky tape.*
Here, brainfire, has a kawfee wif flayming brandy, and a heers a pikshoor of cirkus fireeaters to keep yur mind offa teh bebbeh BC.
(copied)
o NOES! I sneeks inn tu sei whut goin on an iz KAR NIDGE!!
hoeld awn dere Aahz…
*sweeps up Aahzbranes an rinsez dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakkz dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassenz wiv dukky taep (sparklolly) *
*poolz awn a CHRG(wdoi)*
*adz 50s bayvin capp wid see hoarsiz* (coz dis bebbeh BC is DANJRUSS!)
*Leedz Aahz to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrapz inna floofy blankie*
Heer, Aahz, hab sum hawt choklit. Caerfull, ai addid a *splosh* ob brandee (liek de sawrt ob splosh a wael maeks wen itt jumpz inna pool
)
*shakily sits up*
*sips brandy with hot chocolate in it*
*looks at picture of fire-eaters*
O, fanky 5 Eagles n TheLovecat! U iz teh halpful!
Teh CCC iz teh bizzee 2dai n teh Splort Lownj iz teh full — gud fing we can haz sew minnee grate halperz…
*lays back down in Splort Recovery comfy chair*
*sips more chocolate-laced brandy*
Hmmm. Lots of splorting here. But (!) has anyone thought about what it will be like when they have the parent-teacher conferences? Hmm?
Teacher, sternly: And today yor furreh son destroyed teh drapes by klimbing them, shredded awl teh exam papers, poopt on teh kloset flor, and nommed teh klass pet burdie. Whut duz yoo has to say in himz defenz?
Me: Whut kin I say? He must tayk after himz fathur!
Whyz 4 is teh teecher sturn? Sownds to mii lyke teh furreh son haz just completed hiz first weekweekweek’s kittehskool curriculolololumm satisfaktorilee. Nao wii startz Lesson Tu.
Ai haytes tu fink uv whut iz left for yung BC tu lern!!
If teh big BC iz bigger cyuter than teh bebeh BC,
wud mbee much more splortz, AIfinkso.
NAU LUK WAT HAPEND!! BASEMENT KAT IZ TOTALEE *EEVEL* NAU!!!
NAU LUK WAT HAPEND!! BASEMENT KAT IZ TOTLEE *EEVEL* NAU!!!
LOL Kai Davies you has echo sindrome.*5 eagles pulls wires apart puts tem back in*
oh nooes. cant opn mi nu charger . iz still in bx. eye is going, going, going…Splort!
Whoop whoop whoop heer coms the CCC!
Sweep sweep ur braynes inno a tydee pyle
Rinse rinse wif sparklee lemmum wadder
Tuck tuck pat pat bak inno braynium cabity
Snap snap awn the eggstra strenff CHRG (wdoi)
Taype taype wif rainbo cullered ducky taype
Leeds the wai tew the splort recovery lounge
Snuggle snuggle u inno a cheezfrends mappie blankie
Handz ober stoofed bebeh pengwin tew cuddle
Offerz trai uv hawt chokklit an sordid pastrees.
Naow, u jus rest a minnit an doan luuk at anee cayute pixures fer a wile, kay?
fanks
okay, no lookit cutee kittehs til l8tr.
whew
Is Ok to luk at kyuute pitchers, as long as you borrows my new Chicken Head Rubber Glove (w/drawings on it) and keeps it tyte on yer hedbones before you luks! An buy the whey, I am Doo Doo the Original Catnip Junkie, and I extends scragglyl paw of cheezfrenships to Noodle. OHai!
ohai! diz cheezland iz wundiful.
fanks por ur generosities. iz no 2 gud a cheezetalk, bud ai wanta lern.
i extend my floofy paw 2 u catnip junkie (aka doo doo?).
iz mi plezure 2 meeted u.
Eff u wanta lern then you ar alreddy good at cheeztalk Ifinkso. The sad trooth is my cheeztalk is all too often the result of typo gremlins sneeking in when I chats!
TUK a break frum the PLEH taxes tew luk at the LOLCAT pictures . had to luk ba at teh tax foms tew keep frum Splorting… Baybe BC is Kyute! OOOOOoooo! back tew the taxes forms… nawt tew luk at the BBC with teh tiny bloo bow ite and the floof and the bloo eyez and the floof and the widdle ears and did AI mention teh floof.
ARRRRRRRRrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh! S*P*L*O*R*T*
weee-oooo! weee-ooo!
heer comes the CCC!
*scoopity teh braynes*
*rinse wif lemming water (sparloling)*
*plop braynes intew hed cabity*
*pat hed bones in playce and apply lotsa ducky taype*
*snap on bran new eggstra strength CHRGwdoi*
*applly goosee taype*
*leed viktum to recubery lownge*
now, heer are some HGGs, a warm drink, and sordid choklit possums.
snuggle unner this blankee and dinna lookit beautimaus kitteh until yew feel better
*hops down JCH4K blv daon to teh splort recubbery lowng*
*piks up CCC frum neggst door*
*drives daon JCH4K road to catslave*
*hops to catslave*
catslave? U ok? hello? hello? speek to me! Oh noes… Awl these brayns, they awl urs? I tries to git them bak togevver…
*collects awl teh brayn cells*
*rinses wiff fresh Apfelschorle*
*mayks 3D jigsaw frum brayn cells*
*carefully puts big hevy brayn in hed*
*mayks ‘nudder 3D jigsaw frum hedbones*
*tayptayptayps teh bones togevver*
*puts awn gnu CHRG wiff hopping bunnehs awn them*
*raps catslave in warm floofy blankee wiff baby harbor seal awn it*
*leads catslave to recubbery rum*
here, has sum freshly maded hawt choklit and sum kwassonts and sum awf teh boring incomprehensiblol siuntific papurs frum mah messy desk. Shud un-splort u in an instant!
BC Jr. prefers pry-vee-cee!
Teh widdle bow and teh widdle pawsies!
*clings to CHRG, but it does nofhing!*
SPLORT!!!
OMCC, dis kitteh is cauzing lottsa trubble!!!
weee-oooo! weee-ooo!
heer comes the CCC!
*scoopity teh braynes*
*rinse wif lemming water (sparloling)*
*plop braynes intew hed cabity*
*pat hed bones in playce and apply lotsa ducky taype*
*snap on bran new eggstra strength CHRGwdoi*
*applly goosee taype*
*leed viktum to recubery lownge*
now, heer are some HGGs, a warm drink, and sordid choklit possums.
snuggle unner this blankee and dinna lookit beautimaus kitteh until yew feel better
Ono! Gud ting I came to chk dis won. Yu be alrite now KKC!
*runs in wif de portablol CCC hampur*
*skoops braynes up an rincies with sparkleh mineral water*
*playcis brayns back in cabbity and put headbone back*
*chks fur mor pices on next lol*
*tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp wif black duk taep *
*puts on multiplol CHRGs an moar tayp tayp tayp tayp*
*Cobers wif a floofeh Cheezmap blankitt, in de comfy chair in de recubbery room – wif a cup ob hot chocklit and a chonkit possum*
donut lukkat dat bebe kitteh no moar… fink of yur taxes…
Tank u bofh fur teh rescuu!
Basement Cat Jr. luks like mah bebeh wen he wuz a bebeh. Mem–ries…
*tcw cheks own CHRG, addz mor tapyp*
Dis be teh cyootist, mos splortabl…
*quikly luks away, runs away wifaquikness*
Dat iz probablee teh worstest day in teh historee ov dis website!
Oh wait…. NOOOES! AAAAAARGH!!!
SPLORT!
Oh noes, we has wun down for a whyles! Send in teh CCC kwik!
Teh CCC arrives, sirens yowling, lites flashing. Kittehs of awl kullurs jumps owt, replete with reskyew ekwipment. Teh brayns is swept in no-time flat, teh brayns is tukkt neetly bak inna hed, duk taype (lots of it!) is yused to sekure it in place. And nao, CATholic, a hot or cold drink, perhaps? A snak? A blankee? Pleez to rest a whyle!
A nice hot choklit an a blankee will do it. Fank u, fank u, Gremlin!
O noes, ai hazzunt beened heer fur a wile, and wot happens on teh nawt sekkund lol ai luk at?
Iz such a kyootee bebbeh kitteh ai think ai will…
S.P.L.O.R.T !
HALP! WEE NEED HALP DOWN HEREZ!
N-E body can help, Kitteh Kat Celia, so you an me together, we
*sweepy up teh braynes of Miniminsmum (waow, lot of braynes!)*
*rinse wif sparkloling guava water*
*plop braynes intew hed cabity*
* tuk tuk tuk*
*pat hed bones in playce and apply lotsa ducky taype*
*snap on bran new eggstra strength CHRG w/doi*
*applly ducky taype i pritty baskitweave pattorn*
*leed viktum to recubery lownge*
now, heer are a warm drink of green tea with ginger liquer, and sordid choklit possums.
snuggle unner this blankee and dinna lookit beautimaus kitteh until yew feel better
That’s all there is to it!
Is my nawt seccund rescew!
Ohai Catnip, ai donut fink we haz meeting yet, butt (!) yu did a wondermus job furr yur nawt sekkund rescew.
*sips grean tee wiv teh ginger liquer*
*snuggles unner blankee adn finks of tax forms adn otter unsplortashus fings*
o fanks, ai iz feeling mush beddered nao
Fanks to you Miniminsmum and Ohai to you wiv a slightly scraggly paw of cheezzfrenship extended (pointy ends tukked in of corse!). Glad to see you are up and aroun after the sudden splortage. I will join you in a spot ov green tea with a touch of the ginger nip!
Ohai, Catnip! Welcoemz tu cheezland!
Ohai Kitteh Kat Celia, I fanku for the welcoemz. Cheezland is my favrit playce to play and tok to other practsh… pratshin… peepz who knows Cheezspeek … and to enjoy calorie-free py and drinks of unusual concocshuns. Ihoep yuou terns blue soon so I see yor profile. Kthxbai!
*whispers* I hopez you turn blue soon too, CJ!
OMG PJ P! I yewsed to be bluu! Luckily you and I are friends from before. Now I can ask peeps to be friends but I guess they caint ask me and that is nawt naice. I will trai to figure out again how to get blue. Thanks for the whispered werd to the (un)wise!
MR. Garrison: “And, where are you from, Damien?”
Damien: “THE SEVENTH LAYER OF HELL!!!”
Mr. Garrison: “That’s nice; my mother’s from Alabama…”
Hao kin soemting so cute b so ebil?! Ai fink is hao ebil lures us… Iz awl a trap!
AWWWW factor of 10.
haha well he’s gonna make a good first impression!
Nice bowtie, Basement Cat Jr.!