Your 1040 is WRONG it says you are the Head of this house
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Your 1040 is WRONG
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U noe dat iz nawt troo!
Anni hedz teh hows agen !! Congarats tu yew !!
Thx PB!
kitteh, ai keeps tellin yoo, poseabul thums iz hao wii rules teh whirrld!
An hoo iz it goez 2 teh stoar an gets ur fud?
an kleens teh littur bawks?
Serbents do awl does tings. Hed of hows not do wurk, jus subervize.
*luks sideways at husband*
Hmm, ain’t dat teh troof!
LOL sowwy martoonie. I not gots oen ob does [a perwsons to lib wiv]. Am mently praktising fore wen getz a kitteh agin though.
Oooo – Sowwy peeps. Looks liek wien has gotten tu my typping.
?????? Hoo cud ebber tell???
Luks just laik nermal lolspeek!
Teh w in persons woz a really real mistook.
nah – cant bee – luks just rite to me!
*whispurrs: just say ai ment to do dat! we’ll always believe yah!!!*
Az Ai muss do noaw! Bai!
bai bai, anni, gud tew ci yoo!
Goe 2 teh stoar, dat iz – doan’t hab a littur boks 2 cleen!
Bai Anni !!
>snerk<
ai offen hazza wunner, hao big wud peeps littur bockses hab tew bi? an hoo wud kleen? an boi it wud stinkee!
We used to hav a hooman vershun ov a litter box. It wuz cawled an “out house.”
But yoo cud sprnkul it wif sumthing so it wuzzn’t stinkee! Just laik the litter box!
Butt – a reel vershun!
ARRRRGH. Mind bleech!! What haz bin imajined cannawt be unimajined!
*shudder shudder shudder*
as ai am
please to rektify okfanks – nao gib me schwimps!
yoo meens see munkees?
Ai see noe munkeez!
deys rite tehr!
>points to last lolcat<
Schwimps by enny otter naem is still a schwimp!!!
yesh….spekun awf wishc: tawt teh
wud eggsplayn…wuz triun tu bii ufny awn lass nitez LOL. ai nose dose wereun sii munkeez.
ai rememba dose sii munkeez.
NEBBA ddi ehneetink!
conga rats fur de ty! Off t de booteek. Ai fink i mai et sum kitteh faised beeds.
Erm, get sum beeds, i donut fink dey tayste gud
Mawnign / arvo / eevnin drgnfly !! Isle hab a nyu cawfee mug wib a BC pikcha awn it, kthx !!
oh hai drgnfly adn poussinboi… plz to egg skjuse mai introodin… butt(!) cud poussinboi plz explolain wut arvo stans fur in ingerlish? mai ink wyrin miend wans 2 gits moar smrt!
In aussie ingerlish, Arftunuun !!
* wi tork laizilee 
*
Nawt laizee, juss wif efishensee!
Wel, teh Melburn Crikit Graond iz knone az teh MCG,
butt(!) lotz ob OZ juss corl it “Teh G” !! * Fishint oar laizy ?? *
Ai can speak Ozzee – G’day, pb, bonza arvo, I’m just back from the bottle shop, let’s fill up the eskie and go to Bondi in the ute!
Ai is multilinglol.
An ai haz an impresst!!
But – aside frum teh “g’day” an teh “back frum teh bottle shop,” waht did yoo say???
ainoeainoeainoe!
she said
Hello, good afternoon, I’m just back from the liquor store. Let’s fill up the ice boks and go to Bondi (issa beach near sidnee) in the pick up truck!!!
Fair dinkum mate!!!
Eben MOAR impresst!
Nennepuss! Yoo ar multillingualer tahn ai thot!!
(a slitelee chanjed ‘Star Wars’ kwote – an wun ov mai favrits, ai dont noe wai!)
Now doo teh “Fair dinkum” pleeze!!
hmm – is almost utranslatablol – but meens sumfink like your rite or reelee or sumfink… is verry aussie…
Ai noe hao that iz!
There ar sum werds in jerman – yoo can awlmoast trasnslate tehm – but teh feeling izn’t rite. Laik “gemuetlich” oar ‘ueberhaupt.” Yoo can approximate tehm – but it duzznt reelee say kwite teh same thing!
U nearly haz it. Bottle shop showd be ‘bottleo’ though. An wiv dribe fru bottleos, can go on way to Bondi but no can drink there anymore I fink.
Ai cud nawt decide wether to be impressed oar horrified wehn ai saw mai first drive thru bottleo!!!
Tuu rite !!!
Habs no mind, if ingerlish izznt yur nawt seund langwage yu is dooin betterer dan meh. Bout noing moar dan won lanwage dat iz. BTW nise tu meetcha, were yu be? *ekstenz floofy paw ob beenz a frend*
Gud moarning frum MIshigan! Where anuther grey an cold day haz just dawned!
An siobhan, ai’m glad yoo asked – becuz ai hav no idea waht “arvo” meens – an Ingerish IZ mai nawt sekond langwij!
Oh, thoz funnee Aw seas! Oar az teh moast marvelous SJ/matoonie put it – teh peeple frum Horse Trail Yee Haaaa!!! Wich sounds laike sumthing out ov teh Wyld West moovees!
We heer in Michigan ov corse hav no ack scent at AWL. Oar ene funnee werds.
Wich sounds reelee dull, duzzn’t it??
Awlwayz seems laik ebreewun else iz having moar fun!
No funnie werdz? Hao bout Escanaba? Oar Onaway? Ishpeming, Kalamazoo? Wii hab boaf Hell adn Paradise tu!
LOL!! Funnee towns we hav aplentee ~
Paw Paw, Doawgiac, Saugatuck, Muskegon, Saginaw – fur moar ov yur list!
Evenin to ya! I fink ai sees wun wif a hannel mayd tu luk laik a streching BC… ooo deres wun! Wud yu laik cawffee or tee? Ai juss phinnished wachin the Oz opn, yay Roj!
Cawfee iz mai drinc ob choyss, thx !! * Tenus iz teh poplar foar shor !! *
Ohai drgnfly an PB. Teh Oz Opn waz eggsiting. Teh Fed iz bakk. Ai bin lissernin to teh crikkit as well (Oz v Pakky Stan). Nawt az eggsiting tihs taim.
I agree – we iz a littlol lazy wif our speekin in Oz.
Andy, why, Andy, why???
*sobs*
*whispurrrs to martoonie*
Hoo iz Andy – an waht did he doo??? An LOL!! WHY did he do it???
Andy Murray. He just losted teh Horse Trail Yee Harn Open tennis tornymint to Rodjer Federererer hoo has won enuff alreddy in mai opinion an is just beein greedy nao! Plz to let somewun else hab a go, kthx! Andy Murray is British tennis player and – to eberybuddy’s grate surprise – is ackshully bery gud an we hoped he mite win his nawt second Grand Slam dis moarnin. Butt, wuz nawt to be. *snif*
He did trai berry berry hard an aifinkso he can bee proud. Teh Fed iz teh hai class TP. Andy did a gud job. Aifinks he can win teh Wimbloldon wun dai.
Ai hopeso, OzcatMum! Ai kno he did gud, an Roj just did better. And ai finkso he can win a grandslam one day. Butt – teh payshunts, ai has it nawt. Ennyway, fang q for ur kind werds for our Andy!
If ownlee yu cud claym yur furbebbehs as a deeduckshun.
ai grees wif yoo, drgnfly!
habs wii met? >extens floofee paw ob frenship<
I donut fink so (mmm donut
) *Shaks floofy paw wif mine own* Howdee do?
nisetameetcha!
We haz nawt met eever, MM. *Exyends floofy paw ob frenship*
Howdie doo?
Wehr u from?
Ohai, OzcatMum!
ai awlsoe awfaz teh floofee paw!
Fanks Catena.
Agh! Tacks returns!!!! DO NOT WANT (but has to do… still has nawt finished an has elebenty bazillion peeces ob payper awl ober teh tablol an menny red eckses awn teh cormputer form tellin me – tacks return, ur doin it rong!!!)
It taxxis yor payshunts !! * Myne tuu !! *
Ohai nise tu meet yu, i juss newly stoppeded the lurkin *Extenz floofy paw inna frenly wai* Heer is a fuzzee bunneeh dololl for yur stressess, juss pets him an insant reeleef!
ooh – lovely bunneh!
*yoinks bunneh – to have it neggst to teh brand noo sewing macheen that will knot wurk propurrleh – ai is getting all frayed…*
*substitutes the bunneh wiffa neverending chonklit martoonie*
8)
Ohai Nenne !! Wot ar yu maiken nao ?? Did teh crosherign yu wuz duuing at Lolmas get phinnisht ?? * Kwezchunz, kwezchunz ..
*
Ai is making shopping bags! bought sum lubbleh tablol cloff-fabric that is water resistint – butt the brand noo sewing macheen just makes straynj noisies an stops wiffa grate big THONK!!!
I finnished the crowshay-harts – now I is going to crowshay sum otter fings…
Nawt a bee kee nee ai hoap !!
* leve tehm in teh parst !! *
Duz teh otters waer beekeenees??
*hassa pondur*
*syes wif teh miksd feilnes dat mai beekeenee daes (an mennee uvver fings) bees fahr, fahr in teh distint an merkee passt*
*hassa choklit tu sillybraet and/oar cawnsoel maiself*
Ohai Nenne. U sewing too? Ai am mayklinh sum certns fur mai classroom an aim nawt finish yet. Mus be reddy toomorro. Gud lukk wif teh nawty nyoo sewing macheen.
Ai sew easy fings – like curtains and bags an stuff an simplol clothes – ai has not the patience for more complimacated stuff!!
Is the saem wif the crowshay an knitting too – as long as I can finnish it inna week – ai will do it!!
ai fink the masheen will have to go back to teh store… is not normal to THONK like that…
Ai yoose to mayk all teh cloves fur mai kiddlies butt(!) tehy groo up an teh cloves bekaym cheep to bai an teh kiddlies becaym teh fussier. So ai stopt.
*slinks back in –
– ing a bit*
Mah dad always sais the idiot is onda chayr… him be berry rite, aifink… I must have titened sumfink i shuddent hab – made the macheen go THONK…
I took the spooling fing out and re-assembloled it… nao – the onleh fing that issunt kwite rite, is the tenshun inda fred… and the tenshun in mah shouldurs… frum wanting to frow the blasted fing out of da windurr!!!
don’t throwing deh masheen!!! wud hurting ur bak!!
I du deh needlol werk — cross stich, krow shay, tatting, stuff like dat. Iz slower, but not so frustrating. *nods*
*handz nennee a chokklit martoonee.*
sewing masheenz haz nebber liked mii.
Yoo can TAT???????? Ai dint noe that!
I b multitudinously talented.
*smug luk*
wut is Tat?
ai do crowshay, knitting and cross stitch and some simplol sewing projects – but what is Tat?!?
ink wiring mynds are ink wiring!
Tatting is kinda like crow shay in appearance. wikipeadia haz a good over vu uv it. I duz deh needlol tatting…. I have tried sebral tiymez tu dueing dhe shuttlol tatting, but just kant git deh nak uv it.
ah – we kall it nuppereller here in Norway.
a great-aunt of myne could do the shuffle-wun – she died before I manajed to ask hur to teach me (ai was being slow – she wus ninety when she died…)…
Mai mom waz a grate tatter – teh shuttle kind. She maed menee reelee pritte things.
Bof mai sisters, an a couple of neeses are reelee gud at it, too! Ai traid to lern. But ai think ai dint trai hard enuf. An nao ai’m sorree!
Sumware in awl mai stufs, ai gots a nunfinisht peas ob tatting an teh tatting shuttel stil wif it, wut a frend gabe mii in merembins ob hur Mum-kitteh. Wen ai fynds it agin, ai gunna has it puttid inna shaddo boks tu keeping it saef.
Dus ennee ob yu dus teh beri fien crowshay, liek doylees an stuf? Ai nawt hassing teh nak foar fien fred wurk, an ai gots sum littol pattrins foar crowshay snoeflaeks wut ai awlwaes wantid tu duing (tu hanging awn teh tree an in teh windoes at Krismaus).
*oomsipsipsipsipburp*
Fankies!
ai needled that…
and – ai finished the shopping bag wif no more trubblol – aifink ai solbed the problim… it purrs like a kitteh nao!
ai hav a noald masheen – that needs lots of TLC, so ai wished for a noo wun (not fancee – just a simplol wun)… aifink aill get the noald wun repayrd – just in case…
I not done any neeblol work in fureber. Hab many loltz ob projects in UFO trunk [outgrew de baskett]. Envy yu kan dew tatting. Hab tried but jus knot albe to get teh trick of starting.
LOL!! Ai noe hao that iz!
Ai hav hole sootcayses full ov started knitting things! Ai used to nit a lot! an tehn wun day – ai just stopped. Wif lots ov things nawt finished!
Hoo noes wai??? Maybee – sum day – ai walwayz hav teh hai hopes!!
Try deh needlol tatting….. tu mii it b MUCH eezier dan deh shuttlol tatting Handy Hands has instruction/pattern books adn supplies…. If u iz in deh USA u kin finding dhere stuff at Hobby Lobby. Dat b wair i fownded it and got started.
Fanks!
*puts the link inda vault and tatting onda list of things to lurn in 2010*
Ai’ve dedicated 2010 to crafts. Ai bought to books frum Amazon (after Evethemulticatmom pointed me inda rite direkshun) wif crow shay krismuss ornamints – aive dissided to make all of them – 120 – befor neggst krissmuss!
Me too! Ai mosly haf teh menny peeses ob fapprik taht Ai laykt an tey sitz ina box, wayting fer me to mayk tehm into sumfink nais.
Ai am nawt a gud sew-er. But ebreewun else in mai famblee of teh femayol purrsuashun iz.
But ai AWLWAIZ hav teh problim wit teh thred tenshun.
What wun needs iz a nice awld fashuned masheen that duzn’t do such fancee things. Just sew a nice strait seem wiffaut teh thred braking oar bunching up. Taht wud maek me happee!
Ahm afeerd ai jus dew nawt hav teh payshunts fer crafts. Mai sistur maiks teh mos beyewtiful kownted kross tich fings…ai tride it wunst an almos wen krazee trine tew git it startd korrektlee.
Aifink ur Dad waz nawt rite abowt wun fing – der iz nawt an idiot in ur chayr Nenne! Ur teh clebber kitteh!
Ahem. Nenne. Hand back teh bunneh, an nobody gets hurt. Kay?
*slurps chonklit martoonie while she is waitin*
erm – ai’ve finished wif anyway…
8)
and here’s the result!!
8)
Ai is kwite proud – seing dat ai almoast frew the masheen outta the windurr!!
Dat’s much preddier dan mai tacks return, Nenne!!
berry nice!!
Taht’s reelee pritte!! Much nicer tahn teh wuns we bai!
Nao that yoo hav teh problims wif teh sow-ing masheen taken care ov, yoo cud maek lots ov tehm! An sell tehm awn eBay!!
Fangs!
mebbeh ai shud!
Wow, Nenne! Byootiful. Well dun. Gud taht u dint frow it owt. Nais bag.
Ohai drgnfly, nice to meetcha! Fankies for the fuzzee bunneeh dololl, is most kind ob u. Ob corse, ai has to yoink it back from nawty Nennepuss butt wuz a bery nice thort.
*pours xtry larj Martoonie for martoonie*
adds ‘halpful’ kittoons to teh tablol……..see?! They has moved awl the paperwerk an shreddid it for yoo.Then Reeves has sitted awn the keybord and everyfing has gon away..**Poof** majjik!!
No more red exsis an paperwerk ‘filed’. Useful, no?
oh, Tidmum, kud I borrow dat halpful kitteh?? I hazn’t eben started mai taxez!
Ohai Tidmum an cweenmj. Ai also wuld layk to borro teh kitteh. Ai habben started mai taxxez too.
We iz posed to gif in our tax payprs in Oct at teh laytst. Ai iz berry layt…
Iz ur taxez fur a callandaer yeer tehn? Ours iz fur a fy nan shal yeer, Jul to Jun.
yup, owerz is fur deh calendar yr. In January wii gitz our salary statementz frum deh employerz and finanshul stuff frum deh bankz, etc. fur deh past yr. den wii haz a cuppla munfz tu figger owt wut wii owez.
OHai nuvver ozpeep. Yu not late if use tax type peeps last year iz yu or haz de rulez chenged agin?
Ohai wolfkit. U from Oz two? *extends floofy paw to shake hans*
Ai doan noe abowt taht rule butt(!) ai use never to be layt untill las yeer. Nao iz too taims layt!! Better do it toomorro.
Ob corse!!
…. the admin lady wuz nawt impresst akshully wen I telled her the bois had dun ma filin 
They has halped me wiv berry portint stuff tihs week…the is so majikk tehy made papurr an letters diskappeer!!….
sadly, I needed the sed paypurrs wen I was at teh cowncil orifice fillin in sum forms
Did yoo trai luking awl sad an pitiful???
NAwt want dat kitteh. Wii get munniez bakk!! Need tu haz dat munniez fur teh goggie adn kitteh treets.
Fankies for teh martoonie Tidmum, and for teh helpful kittehs. Ai nawt so shoor teh tacksman will accept “teh kittehs ate mai homewerk” but is worf a go!
But . . .matoonie!!
Ai thot today wuz teh ded lion fur fyoling!
Can yoo send yrs in today??? Oar hao duz that werk??
Oar duz this werk?
Quick!! Get in teh car!! It’z a ded lion!
Lol!!! Yes, tudai is teh ded lion. Butt – we can file elelelelelektronikly, awn lion. Ifn teh hole guvmint interwebs does nawt fall down go boom becaws elebenty zillion peeps is trying to file awl at wunce, ob corse. Den we has to do teh sweary dance.
An wen yu has sended it, teh taksman will send yu a zebrah, to sai fankies *nods* Is Troo! Is Guvmint Inn Scent If skeem!
O rly? *raises eyebrow*
Normally tehy just sends me a bill. Maybe this yeer ai’ll get the rest of teh duck!!!
Insted ov bills an feet an fetherz, maybee they shud just send – reelee grrate T-shurts???
Dat wud be a mush bedderer idea, but ai finkso ai will has to look to udder sauces for mai reelee grrate t-shurts!
Oh, ai’ll bet teh skiez abub teh UK ar verree bloo today wif awl teh peepl doing teh sweary dance!!
Hav yoo dun yur tackes via teh elefantrunkly way befoar? Do yoo hav yur ‘aufthorization?’
An waht happins if it fawls down an goes boom – an awl teh peepl ar dansing! Duz teh Revenoo Serviss say -’ Oh, we ar sooooo sorree. Yoo can has anuther week to fyol?’
Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa…. Janet u is teh ufny! Rly! No, if teh govmint site dat teh govmint maded an dat teh govmint operates falls down goes boom so u cannawt file ur tacks return awn time, teh govmint sez, oh deer, how sad, nebber mind, u shud have done it earlier, is ur obligayshun to file tacks return, nawt owrs to provide awn-lion filing fingy what werks, u owe us one hundred munnies for bein late, kthxeberybuddyhatesusandwedon’tcare.
Hmmmmmm. . . sounds laik ar tax peepl.
Ai wunder wai tehy seem to hav no senses ov hyoomor???
Wudn’t that be grate??? Tax peepl hoo laffed when yoo sed teh kittey fioled it an yoo cudn’t find it in taim. ” Oh ha ha ha ha ha!! we hav kittehs too, an noe hao that iz! Heer yoo go! An extree week to find it.”
Ebreewun wud be so much happier!
But ai eggspekt we’ll hav whirred peas befoar that happen!!
Whirled peas, flyin pigs an snowballs in heck ai finkso.
Fings Wut Gubbimint Taks Peepuls Hab Sir Jiklee Rimoobd:
- der scents ob hyoomur
- awl der smyol mussils
- der payshins
- der scents ob compashin
- moast ob der funkshinal brayns
We has teh Ded Lion tehn teh Fynul Ded Lion, tehn teh Abs so lootly Larst Charnse Ded Lion, tehn teh SLip it into teh boddum ob teh pyul an claym yu sent it weeeeekweeeeekweeeeeks ago Ded Lion!
Duz taht last wun ebber werk??
Nawt in my eggspeerients. Iz yooshully followed by teh “Penal tea for late filing” which is nawt tastee oar nootrishus.
and probableh rather egg spend sieve…
ohai awl! hao r u awl tewdai! Ai muss sai ai agree with teh kitteh….Chizel is teh head of dis house whebber ai likes it oar not! Butt (!) ai comes wiv many great tidlings for yew awl, furr ai has sum eggsitting news!
Ai is tew be ahbbing a kitten! Ai is pregnant
Yay! Congratulashuns!!! a bebbeh!!!
{{{{{{Zelkina}}}}}}}
*hands Zelkina a glass of sparkloling applol joos*
Cheers!!
Ooooooh! Taht is luvlee zelkina! Congarats tew u!
Congramulashingz!
Wen iz deh babeh due???
fankees fankees. *sipps applol juice* we only founded owt awn thurdsay nite….got tew see doctors on tuesdai, we finks ai maite be 6/7 weeks gone, so prolly a late august early sept babbeh.
{{{{zelkina}}}} Datz wundermus!!! Just think uv deh fun u will haz negst LOLmas!!!
An may ai add mai congratchoomalayshuns az well!
An waht a grate taim to hav a babbeh! Perfekt fur going to skool.
Assooming, ov corse, tath yur skool yeer iz laik hours!
tis in deed, jch4k, startee september finish july. ai kno cween. me an mai partner has such an eggsited….nawt as much as our parentcats as dis is first grandkitteh for both sets!
OMCC!!! Taht bebbeh will want fur NUTHING!!! YOo will nebber hav to ai enething!
Will ther be ants an unkles involved too???
Mai awlder sister Judy an ai were teh first awn bot sides too! An fur neerlee FOUR YEERS ai wuz teh baby ov teh famblee.
It wuz VERREE traumatic fur mee to wehn mai favored status wuz taken away bai teh burth ov a cuzzin!!!!!
no ants cept hunnerary friends who be made hunnerary ants, but plenty uv unkles, (5 on mai side uv da fambly, an 1 awn mai pardners) and even a great unkle! ai dunt fink ai even gunna c this bebbeh, even tho it be mine! lol
Congratulayshuns, zelkina!!!
Goe ahed sillee hooman, kling tew ur fantasee uv bein in charg. Otay, tahts enuff, naow git meh sum gushifuds.
Ohai wolfkit! 6 munffs awai! Taht iz a gud fing aifinkso! Ware duz u liv iffen u doan mynd mai askin?
Hai bluesfan. I libs down-hunder. We does tax in middell ov year.
Hai wolfkit! Ai’m glad blusfan473 asked, becuz ai wuz wundering. too!
An since ai dont thing we’ve met, may ai say – nice to meet yoo!
Hai JCH4K. Nice to mmetz yu tu. Aksherally – HAI tu eberyones while I hab enuff wien in system tu combat de shynessity bug dat normally keeps me awl shhhhhh. Is not helping wiv typping dough.
dats teh gud fing about lolspeek…
it can nevet be rong!!
*eggstends floofeh paw of frenship*
and SKÅL!!
*shakes floofeh pause* Hai. Not so much worriez about rongnessity ob typing, jus ob getting wordz out proper. Shynessityness get in way sometiems.
Ohai wolfkit – we has talked furver up teh fred, but nawt offishully been introdewced – ai am Martoonie, formerly known as SJ – ai had to change mai log in so u will see some peeps still cawl me SJ. Ai will answer to either! U are welcome heer!
it maykes sense – we do our taxis inda winter too
Winter iz bestest tyme ov year fore doing lotsa stuf.
You need new credit card… your old one is used up.
… but I like Phish.
eggsalad jam band, specially iffen u haz sum uv dose gyant see munkees tew munch wile lissnin!
ai is teh sawry kitteh, butt butt teh eevul Eye Arr Ess duz nawt akk noll edj yur awethority. tehy is tu stoopyd tu reeulize teh truff an problolly duz nawt has teh kittehs… wich alsew mae eggsplayn teh grumpy taht moast ayjents has….
uv cors, kitteh, iffen yu wuz teh wun lystid az Hed uv Howsehold yu wuld bi teh wun paeyeeng teh pleh tacksis.
Everyone knows kitteh is head of household.
Wel, iyt maikes purrfekt scense tuu me taht kitteh can haz hed ov howseholdness status…. beecuz wun ov teh lokal peeps heer gotted a notiss awhyle ago notifyng her taht her kitteh wuz cawlled up foar Jureey Dutey; iyf taht had bin me, Ai wuud hav takein teh kitteh tuu Kourt…..
my cat does that all the time