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Aminlols aer frenz, nawt noms!
…unless of course, you mean teh goggie?
conk and rats, annipuss!
I hear dat conks are gud fuds, rats…not so much.
Nawt shore Ai haz ebber met an ediblol conk – in Lundun dat iz slang fur a noez!
ew. noes, i didn’t mean noes. i meant teh conch (pronounce’d konk) *ponders* if fish are are friends, not fud, and rodents are are friends, not fud, and animals are our friends not fud, i guess we’ll just have to have conch which is neither fish nor fowl…
allrecipes.com/Recipe/conch-fritters/Detail.aspx
PLEH Shellfish!
U want mai shellfish? Ai’m nawt selfish!
I werked at a seefud place that served konk… did not leik! it was kinda, er grissley! blechhhh
ai wuz awn snorkul (nawt snorgul) riyd….teh guiz frum teh bote kollektud sum awf teh konkz. dey tuk teh mete aot tu sell tu teh restahranz, aifink. butt(!) dey awfad (raw!) konk tu uz tu eet. noe tanks! butt(!) dey ddi giff mii lubblee shel, awl klend awp!
Wuz U daown n teh Meksikkoe? I winted dyvin daown dere, n win we gotted teh konk, teh lowkull gyz chopt up teh konk meet, cuvverded it wif lym joos, n kawlded it “sevichee”. Dey sedded teh lym joos “cukted” teh meet, butt (!) I nawt finksew… Gimmee krakt konk (liek dey hadded n teh Bahamas) ennydai…
it’s troo Aahz… teh acid in teh lyme cooks teh meat. ifinkso there’s sumthing similar in Spanish cuiseen…
I steel nawt finksew… Mebbe teh assid PIKKLOLZ teh meet, butt (!) iz steel raw, n ifn enny jermz b innit, lym joos nawt sew yoosfull 4 gittin rid uvvem…
ceviche is nommy Aahz. butt (!) ai luv sushi tew…
I lurvz teh sooshee awlsew, n I izza purdee gud sooshee sheff, butt (!) I trie nawt 2 b nommin bottum feedurz raw…
butt, whattabout oysters wif horseradish and cocktayle sauce?
wuz een teh Gran Kaymun. (butt(!) wii ddi goe awn tu Meksikkoe latah!)
Ooooh — Gran Kaymun — didja swim wif teh steengraiz?
yup! wuz ufny!
ai had conch fritters in key west! frying makes everything nommy!
Fritters? *salivates* Can has? Please? *gives sweetpea a big-sad-kitten-eyes look*
Inz teh Kee Wesst Flolrida, teh Conchs (Kawnks, inz lolspeak) has teh noeses, adn teh feetz, adn awl taht hoomin stufz – bikawz teh peeplol hoo livz tehre kawl tehmselvz Conchs, adn tehy kawl teihr liddlol eyelund The Conch Republic (Teh Kawnk Reepubblikk, in lolspeak.
Yeh — dey ebben mayded deyz oan kuntree n sedded dat dey wuz nawt part uv teh U S uv A ennymoar — reed awl abowt it heer
Congrats anni, Q and sweetpea awn a freeway-ty! Here, has sum assortet crackers and cheezez for noms wiff sum red wine!
Iz off now, tryin to find mah way fru teh sno. It’s been a berry snowy and windy day, I hoap ebbryfing wurks fine.
G’nite ebbrywun! Has a gud evning/moaning/nite/afernoon oar whutebbur!
mnyum, mnyum. Fankies, HCR! Stay warm, pls.
Thx hcr! Goe saef an arribe sune!
NOSW! I is nawt noms!
its a misunnderstanding!
…the “N” fell off, kitteh. Honest. It’s a handbook on straightening up a place where humans live as if they were raise’d in a barn.
ROFL — Neating Animols … how wood yous doo dat?? Lessee…
Appleye ScorchGard ta keeps dem kleen…
Bafs — lots o bafs
Comb da hares
Dee-Odorize da poopin in box
E…
Eeer kleeningz
Fays wyping
Gud playce tu nappy – inz teh sunnyshyne, aifinkso
Hrbl remoovul – kleen um upz kwikazza wynk
I …
I crumbz taeken awt uv iis
Jently smoov teh furr
Klaw prince removed
Lingering odorz aird awt
M . . .
Mop floar ware harblz wuz
Neeten teh sleapin ayreeuh
O mai — dis iz teh hard werkz
Poop rimoovul frum liddurboks
Q…
Qleen up kitteh bed
Rince owt kitteh boals
Sweep up kitteh furrz
Tayk owt garbidj – emtee cans, etc.
U….
Undirtify teh howze
Vigoreishly attendz to sum yuckies
Wash footprince off teh counter
X-aminify eerz 4 mytz
Yummee fudz, fill boal wif
Zzzzz aftur evvyfing iz teh dun
Xplane (agin) to da kitteh aboot bafs
Yellz loudly wile gibbin sed baf
Zipper ups da slashes inna yer armies frum sed baf
Inspektin caerfulee fur fleez
Jentlee wypin dere tummeez cleen
Koamin dere furrz
L…
but I is NOT laffing.
ohh noes! lazurs ar charjed an redi tu fyre
Kitteh iz purpared fur defensive maneuvers.
yu noe laff abowt kanniblolz … ai noe laff abowt tihs!
Ifinkso dat da kitteh nawt sew worried aboot eein da animols — I meen jest luk att da last LOL …. Ifinksew dat he finks da jokee iz dat da hoomins needz a book ta tellz dem howa ta doo eet!!!
Iz da naturelle furr da kittehs to eet da aminols — dat Y dey beez da Carnivalnorrs an nawt Veegamateareeians.
Kittehz no need bukz telling dem how tu eeting…… dey finkz hyoominz is soooo dum sumtymez!!!!
adn teh kittehs jsut wanna maik teh shuur tehy izz nawt awn teh mennyoo …
Berree troooo….kitteh haz no trubbles eetin ammals. Deyz duz it awls deh time!
Yes,ebil hypnotic kitteh…ai heers and obays…no moar animal-eetin…ai iz nao a veg…veggy…no-meet-eetin person.
Eeck! Snap owtta it! Doan luk herz inna aiz!
*waves filet mignon under eeck’s nose*
** stares unblinkingly **
Oh,wait…..BEEF!
** nomnomnomnomnom **
P.S. Ohai,mai old fren Aahz!
Ohai eeck! I nawt scene U rownd heer laytlee, butt (!) I nawt bin awn much laytlee eevur sew datz prolly teh reezun… Haow U iz?
Iz gud! I haz had a bizzee at werk,which iz where I am usually playin on ICHC.
How iz u ? I thinks u wuz havin ex problems last time I saw u.
I wheel b teh havvin X prollimz till mai dotter ternz 18… *pleh*
.
I awlsew can haz teh bizzee at werkz. Sumtymz I nawt gitz 2 b awn ICHC 4 sebbrul daiz atta tym…
seberal days!
I has weeks like dat tew! is verre sad when you can’t play in cheezland!
Boi — I haytit win reel lyf innerfeerz wif mai tym awn ICHC. Itz awlriddee tookted awai mai figger sk8n…
WUT?!?!?! U noez kin sk8ing enneemoar???? wut a shame.
*smakz rill lifez wif a feersness!!*
Ohai, ur majistee!
.
Yeh — ebber sintz teh cherch startid teh noo serbiss watt kneadz teh rok-n-roal-styl lytz, I nawt can haz teh tym 2 gitz awai frum werkz 2 sk8 ennymoar. I haz bin onna ays jess 4 tymz sintz mai Joon kawmpatishun, nawt atoll sintz teh nawt-sekkund weak uv Dissim-brrr…
{{{{Aahz}}}}
{{{{cweenmj}}}}
Fanky, I kneaded dat…
Poor Aahz! {{{Aahz}}}
gud…gud hoomin…..yu ar duin splendlifloly……
yu wil goe bye meh an cheezburger, fryes anna shaik wen ai gibs yu da signul……….
*meow*
Yesh….Ebil Hypnotic Kitteh forgotted dat cheezburgers were once cows.
Unless u try to fool EHK wif one uv dose Gardenburgers.
Dat mite nawt work owt so well,actually.
Da kitteh nose da cheezeeburgers frum da cows — hee onlee wants YOO ta stops eeting demz, den hee weel hab dem awl — BUUAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
“I wanna dubblol cheezburger, unyun reengz, n uh larj orinj dreenk.”
“Kxxsxpx thxxpxxsx, kxsxxth thxxkxx, xx kx thxxsx kxxsxx pxxthx.”
“Uh, didja gitz mai oardur?”
*Two kids watching a seafood cooking show*
Emma: “Ewww! Do they have to kill it to eat it?” *takes bite of hamburger*
Noah: “What about that chopped-up cow you’re eating?”
Emma (with mouth full): “WHAT chopped-up cow?”
Noah: “Where do you think hamburger comes from?”
Emma: *ptooie*
Mee Neese axes her Daddeh (mii Brudder)
“Daddeh, did dis pork chop usta bee a leetol piggeh …”
Daddeh, a leetol worreefied, sez “Um, yes…”
Neese luks at her plate, luks thoughfull an sez
“Hmmm… eet iz a berry deeleeshush piggeh” and takes a nudder bite…
I memburz sumwun taylin me dis stoaree:
Epiffineez sumtymz iz teh upsettin 2 teh kidletz! 
Herz wuz dryvin daown teh rode wif teh kidlet inna bak seet (prolly 4 oar 5 yeerz oald). Kidlet wuz nommin chikkin nuggitz n seengin “Oald MikDonnuld.” Win herz gitted to teh part bowt teh chikkin, herz seengded, “Wiffa BOK BOK heer n uh BOK BOK dere………………………………”, lukz at herz nuggitz, den startz teh criein!
You RETARDS! What do you think a CAT eats?
ANIMALS! (Mice, birds, etc.)
I bet you idiots would force a lion to go vegan!
You should all be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, and forced to live an the wilderness, on your own, naked. For a year!
caek, ennewun??
dont mind if I doo, Italiana!!
ooohh… luks liek we has chocklit lava caek today!!
ai can haz a real volcano up here we can be puttingz dis “persun” in
.
butt ai wuld lub sum chocklit lava caek thnx
Sumwun b warin teh troll mask, I finksew… Plz 2 b rifurrin 2 Elsa_Mama’s poast uv 6:11 am Cheeztym n awl teh follerin kawmintz — we iz purr-fiklee awayr uv watt kittehz nom, sintz moast uvvus heer can haz kittehz
.
Derez sum fuj caek inna braekrume!
adn summ hoammayded pyneapplol uppsy-daounsy caek awlsoetu! (teh kynd wif teh pyneapplol slysus adn teh cherrwhees awn tawp)
Hay — I wanna pees uv dat! Butt (!) — ifn teh pynapplol n cherreez iz awn tawp, den ur uppsy-daownsy caek iz teh uppsy-daownsy!
aifinkso yur ryt – butt (!!) ifz ai standed awn mai hedd wyl ai mayded itz, tehn maiB mai uppsy-daounsy cake izz styll uppsy-daouny … oar … ummm …
*hazza confuzzlolment*
Duz u habsta stanz un ur hed to eet pyneapploll uppsy=daounsy caek?
err … umm … ai gess soe, butt (!!) onlee ifz yu wanna, maiB????
*hazz eeben moar confuzzlolment*
* standing up *
tuu hard tu swalla lieke dat!
izzint barefoot an reel troll? et deed yoose da “R” wurd an deed nawt remoob ani maske……..
ai kant member ani ob ets kawmints dat wuz nies butt ma membry ish naught two grate akshully……
due wee haz ani karet kaik??? oar mehbe sum punkin kaik……..zookini bred?…ai kneads mai froots n beggiez fro da dae
it b lukking bareE trollish tu miii…. *nomz sum cake* I don’t finso a Cheezpeep wud uzing deh R werd.
Now I haz tu go tu deh grossree store and bai sum nomz IRL.
U jus needs to eet a BIIIGGG peece uv chokklit caek & drink some V8 Fusions.
Dere’s your froots & beggiez!
mai DIL (teh wun hoo izz habbin teh bebbeh) mayded sum nommy punkin bredd adn sum wippy buddur tu spredd … ooh! – anna pakkit uv glaiz foar teh tawp (kan majiklollee bih shugarfrih foar tohse hoo purrfur). Shih wud sir tin lollee nawt mynd ifz ai shairded it, soe heer itz izz! ta-DAAAAH!
*setz owt punkin bredd awn lublollee chyna plattur, adn wpiiee buddur adn glaiz in purrtee chyna bowlols, awl dekkeramayted wif frololicking kittehs.*
ooooh!!! FangQ Italiana ! *nibblenibblenibble* Nommy!!
**grabs tray of sordid caykes, cookies, chocolates**
follow me tew teh brake rum!
Oooooo… da Sordid caykes… donut wee hafta eet dems inna da NB??? Butt I weel haf da Rum wif dem, da rums nawt awl goned iz it??
nope! plentee of rum an otter sordid drinks!
Alotsa ammals wudnt getta lib atawl eff dey wurnt rayzed fur fud!
Butdey shud be wehl tayken ker ub an cumfurbull whaiyle dey alibe.
A-nom
“To Serve Kittehs” …. IT’S A COOKBOOK!!! RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Twilite Zone FTW!
Leeza- ai feer we iz in fur sum trubble fridegg and Caturdai- 10 inches – Do Nawt Want! ( of snow, dat iz!)
lol, I’m not sew far north as u Idontfinkso… we has winter weather 4cast but will prolly be more ice/sleet than snow…. ackshully, snow wud be better!!
Oh,but brush awf teh dust….
“HOW to BEST Serve Kittehs NEEDS”…..
Well, we ALL know how to do that !!
Is this because I was reading, “Hunting Humans”?
Silly kitteh, this is a book against eating animals. Animals are friends, not noms.
IFFIN da aminol iz a frend, DEN dey iz nawt a nom — udderwize, Eye iz afreered dat da aminols iz berry deeleeshious noms… yes, yes dey are!
Iffn CC had meened us nawt 2 eet aminlols, him wudn’t hab maed dem uv meet!
That is what kitty objects to. This is clearly an inferior book. If it was written by a cat, it’d be titled Eating Animals and Barfing Them Up On The Living Room Carpet (during a birthday party)
*snerk*
Oh man tis is a touchy subject for me……Not saying I eat evrything movin but……I won’t eat unless I has an allturnative.LOL
Groucho Marks kitteh!
Okay, this will sound strange, but I actually ordered that book a few weeks ago and i can’t wait to read it!
I luvz the book and i luvez tofurky deli slices.
yayyy! i luv da buk alzo. mai fayfrit tofood iz morneengstar cheezburger.
icanhassoycheezburger?
Noooooooo pleeese eat thos vegetaybles, do no eat my fwends!