
Cats have the uncanny ability to tell when you’re about to say something stupid.
Picture by: DavCat Caption by: MallardVHS via Advanced Lol Builder
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Cats have the uncanny ability to tell when you’re about to say something stupid.
Picture by: DavCat Caption by: MallardVHS via Advanced Lol Builder
U knoe u dont meen dat
congratulations, markitteh. i do nut think we’ve met.
Fankyou. Ai haz nebber had a nawt seckund! Iz a trill! Pleezed to meetcha, sweetpea (extendz floofy paw of frenship) Ai r ushualley kwiet an layte. Annipuss mus be teh sleepy. Ai hoap she’s awrite.
conga ratz, Markitteh, en yur nawt sekkund nawt sekkund!!!
(annipuss libz een TTI (England), soe iz pass herz bedtyem, aifinkso!)
She’s teh nawt sekkund lotz. She’s been feelin pleh of layte. Hoap she’s beddur.
(luks lyke dis kitteh hangin awn fur teh ryde)
*approaches wiff a littul jig*
congrachumalashuns!!!!! Has a parfait!!
Fanks, kafleen, ai doan noe nobuddy hoo doan laik noe parfait. (duz Shrekdonkey impreshun) u dans nyse, ai keeps tyme.
Datz beri speshul!
*dansdans-nawtsekkundnawtsekkund-dansdans*
Wundermus, AngelPlume! Dis iz moar concatshulashuns tahn ai gits on mai birfdai. Viva la cheezfrenz!
Annipuss iz fur shur teh sleepy!
Itz wun thurtee in teh moarning fur hur.
And it IZ a thrill to hav yur verree furst nawt seckund! Ai remembrr mine – an menee ai mist. Teh furst “mist” wun – staring at teh “no comments,” mai mind went blank, ai froze – and tehn ai got up a left teh pewter. Ai came bak a bit layter!
Stend (hoo wuz – at teh taim – fawl of 2007 – Stend wuz wun ov teh three pillars ov ICHC fur mee. Teh uthers were Teho an Melissa. Stend asked if ai got skeered an had run away frum teh pewter! An that wuz indeed what ai did!
So – HAI! Marketteh.
Nice to meet yoo.
An ai will nao do teh “Dans of Joi” to celebrate yur Nawt Seckond Fur Vest Frum Last! A Festive Occasion if ebber there wuz wun!
*dans dans dans dand(
*Leep leep twirl twirl*
*glyde around swooping to teh left*
*glyde around swooping to teh right*
*leep twerl leep twerl*
*sit down an hav sum Irsih Creem*
Waow! Ai iz gittin dizzzeee watchin awl teh dans-dans-dans. Fanks for teh Irish Creem. (sitz daon nd luks fur laptop kitteh)
Sooo *sip sip sip* Markitteh ~ Yoo certainlee speek ar langwich verree well! Hav yoo bin lurking fur a wile??
Oar – ai’ve bin gone SOO much laytlee – have yoo bin heer fur a wile – an ai just mist you??? *sip sips sip*
Oh, yur glass iz emptee!
Plentee fur awl! Just halp yrusellves.
*glugelulel glug*
HEY EBREEWUN! WE HAV SUM IRISH CREEM UP HEER!
ymz lubs da irsh creems
parez wib JCH4K and Mrkitteh
Ai lurked fur teh long tyme, tehn joyned oafishullee. Sumtymes nawt so eezee to reed teh lolspeek but ai allwaes lurk fur teh funnee. Fanks, JanetCanHas4Kittehs, u r teh berry jenermous wif teh drinkees. Ai beddur sloe daown b-4 ai start singin teh awld Beatlol songs. (mai Ringo impreshun, let me sho u it)
pleezt 2 meat yoo, Markitteh!
and menny conga ratz!
(gotta go fore now)
wee shall shuley meat agen, kitkay, aifinkso.
Ohai Markitteh and Conga rats! And ai think ai will just have a liddle splash of dat Baileez in mai decaf cawfee fur a nitecap- yum!
like, when you’re going to let the cat out of the bag.
ai resently lerned teh dare revashun ob that frase. Made mii berry sad..
dis cat knot a kitteh, butt a cat-o-nyne tayles.
*flinch*
Ai did NOT noe that!!
But – awn teh brite side – ICHC iz an awlwazi will be – SOOO edumacashuanl!
Ai red it reefurrred to a farmur clayming he had a valuabull piglet in a sack to sell when it was reely a cat of wich dere are lotz, so lettin teh cat outta teh bag meenz reveeling teh troof. Dats alzo wy u shud nebbur bye a pig inna poke (sack). Ennywae, ai wud ravur hav a kitteh tahn a pig.
well, i just checkt on teh intertoobs, and boff deriv, dariva, duriva…storees were menshuned–the first bein used to disckaplin sailors at see, an teh not furst piggy/kitteh storee…I lyke teh 2nd won bedder…
.. so itz nawt a shawpign storie>/a> ?? * gotta kum owt ebenshally !! *
* scritchez hed .. *
Him sez lawtsa stoopy stuffs. Keeps meh beri bizzy.
ai needs a cat lyke. puts my fut in my mouff alot, aidew!
Teh kitteh luks lik it hears manah alarman tings in hoomunz head.
Witch is alla time.
Lukkee Kittehs ar lightning fast wif teh paws!
No…… dey only come out on Halloween..(nice witches are all the time)
Kittehz has manee unkannee abilateez. Lyk:
Abul tu disehpeer adn reappeer et wil
Biytun hans adn toez wifaot drawin blood
Consentratun reellee hard tu get hyoominz to breeng noms
D…
Diggin holez in flowerpots
Emergin frum undur teh blankees
Fightin teh ebul strings
Gittin hoomins tu waek up to get kitteh breakfast
H….
Heavier tahn lead, being, wehn standin on hoomin’s bellih at 5 A.M.
Ingesting multicolored bits from teh gardenz, to decorate teh carpet
Jumping from teh floor to teh refrigerator-top in two jumps, wifout touching anything in between??
K…
Klyming awl teh curtains, no madder hao flimsee
Lurking in korners, unseen bai awl
Melting to fit ene box – big oar small
N. . .
Nomming teh forbidden fud
Out teh door, slipping, unobservd between teh feet
Playing wif teh milkbottle ringz
Q…
Quiklie katching mii pen wen i’m triein to rite
Retchin de harblol on de kouch
Scritshin on de kouch
T . . .
Taking naps
Upsetting potted plants
Vigorously chasing ghosts through the house
W…
Wakin mii up at odark30
Xplodin 2 katsh ebil reddot
Yawnin in mai faice
Zzzzin on mai bed
Yay!!!
Quantum mekanikz (doan offen du tihs)
Runnen owtdoars; runnen bak in befoar teh dore shutz
Slepen swete dremez wib littlol feet moobin
T..
Talking to birds through teh window (chrr–chrr–chrr)
Under the coverz, crawling
Venentian blindz, peeking through
Walkin on hoominz heads in early mornin
Xtremely lowd meows if breakfast is late
Yowling in the stairwell to hear teh ekko
Zooming arownd teh house wifakwikness
(Two-tailed alfabet, we hazzit!)
dining awn onlee teh best noms,
eetingbutter dat yoo leaf out (my frens cat duz taht)
fuds, glorius fuds! dare ankshus 2 try it!
Kitteh sez, “PLZ DONUT SPEEK!!!”
Mrphl mmpf… donut?? wai yesh, plzthnx, ai’ll has teh glazed one…
I can haz donut?
*Brings owt boxes ov sordid donuts*
Osureyeah! If teh earlee-rizers can has 4 AM virtual teapartiez, we can haz evenin-tyme virtual donut pigowts, aifinkso!
Chow down!!1!
(Maybi wii can dunk teh donuts in some of teh leftover Irish Cream from teh top of the thread, too.)
Thanks Lungdoc!
Ai’ll hav wun ov those choklit cuvered caek donuts, pleez. Thoz ar mai favrits!
Ooooh, chokklit kubburd donuts (nom-nom-nom)
Irish kreem drinkeez (lapp-lapp-lapp)
Dis kittehz in hebbins! (purrrrrrr)
Ai can haz maplol bar, plz?
I want my Maypo!!!
Hmm… Looks like we’re all alone here, Brother…
You appear to be correct. Should I summon The Others?
I’m done ironing for the moment. Anything I can help with?
Are you any good at getting the wrinkles out of chain mail?
Can you help me get the wrinkles out of my chain mail?
Here, guys. Have another donut. Ai forgotz teh kwestion, but donuts are teh answer.
Thanks, Doc! Share a couple of fingers of single-malt with me, eh? Whisky and doughnuts… yummmmmmm…
*Sense of perfect peace settles over room*
How about a Cubano, doc? Just this once…
Aifinknawt, thanx. Prolly set mice elf on fyre. (Prezent company acceptid.)
You’re probably correct. My brother usually handles the fire-related stuff. Slainte!
A toast, then, if I may, to Woman; as most of our Cheezfriends seem to be; and I quote from Mark Twain,—
“As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wetnurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without women? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.”
Similar sentiment, from The Master (Robert Heinlein):
“What a wonderful world it is that has girls in!”
Well, I’m off to work again. Good to see you, Maus!! Have a happy weekweekweekend! Adn thanks for the snigle-malt. Yum indeed!
Maus!!! Jumps on Maus and rolls him over gently to pat pat him wif paw- longtimenosee!!! ai haz missed you!
BOOP! Howdy! Just making my monthly check-in…
Gud to see u and ur, um, frenz.
Well… thank you, ma’am. we don’t get out much these days…
So… Where are the usual ICHC
inmates>citizens? It’s a bit quiet tonight…I’m thinking they are in bed, witch iz where I’d headed- Nite!
dunno ware tehy bi, butt tehy wil bi teh sad taht tehy mist yu.
iz nyce tu meets teh
infaymaus maus!Osanky!
*nom, nom, nom*
Kitteh cut your tongue…..
Kitteh pats daddih mouf, pat pat pat, wif nyse fresh-stept paw from teh litterbawks…
O, anrt thoze luvlee! Ai get thoze pawz wen ai’z in bedd….
Then for heaven’s sake lets get Pat Robertson a cat!
Aha. Cat box paw right over da potty mouf!
Oh noes, you almost sed a bad word.
De hoomin haz gut 2 caterpillaries buv himz eyz….deh kitteh wul notis dem n tri removin dem wif floofi pawz…den de hoomin wul reeli sai sumfing beri stoopd n probli sumfin vry nawty…..himz shud no betta dan ta brung inseks inta de howse..kittehs luf chasin deh inseks!
Kitteh iz saving yu frum d-i-v-o-r-c-e court. Lissen tu hyme!!
Anom. Better kitteh hand in mouf than daddih foot in mouf. Yesh, yesh.
Shud get kitteh for big-mouf Pat Robertson…no, no, kitteh wuld quitz in dizgust aftur one monf. “I CAN NO WURK LIEK DIS! DIS FOOL NEVUR SHUTZ HIZ PIEHOLE! I QUITZ!!!”
RHSB says HELLO tu ebberwun and hopes tu bii bake online soon! Her puter iz in da puterhospital.
BTW her burfdai iz awn Tuesdai.
Thnx for teh message, 3km! *Sends good wishes for Red’s bits adn bytes*
…did ai punctuate taht rite? Hmm…
She wuld lyke da bood wishes fur her *bits and bytes*, I’m shure shii wuld bii headed fur da NB!
Well, that shuld read “GOOD” nawt “bood”, guess iz tyme fur mii tu gow tu bed tu. Nite awl Cheezfriends!!
‘Nite, and thanx again!
halp mi kitteh! sayv mi frum maiself!
Thank CC for intervenshun!
Luk at kitteh’s eers in teh picsher. He not happee.
Iz a shame Pat Robertson dint have this kitteh with him.
Awl de time!
Anom tu dat!
Many of us, aifink, could benefit bai havin a floofy angel lyke this sittin on our shoulder adn whipserin in teh eers. Adn coverin teh mouf. (Judging by its expression, this gray kitteh may see something above Daddih’s hedd that Daddih nawt sees yet… ninjas sneekin thru teh transom??)
I tries not to get tu polylitickal, butt couldn’t hawlp myself.
dis kitteh no want hooman to tell where da boddiies ar hidden….
Well shut mah mouth!!!
ohhh… kitteh did!
and dis teh hand i uze to plai wif mai poopz. see? smell it.
Furry bluetooth headset!