Iz like to retern my brofer plez He defektiv
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Iz like to retern my brofer plez
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basement cat iz borked.
Congrats, catena!
um, borked merchandize is unreturnablol. must be in orijinal pakkij and re salelolblol.
Conga rats, Catena, on yur solo taupe spot
Whoooo Hooo!! catena wif a so LOW Fur Vest Frum Last!!!
HAWT choklit?? Fresh roasted chestnuts???
Heer! Ai browt a hole SOOTcayse full ov roasted chessynuts frum Awe Stria!
Enuf fur ebreewun (ai hoep – they ar amazinglee deelishus!!)
ooh- chests uv nuttz!! Yumz!! Ai rememememburr wenn ai wuz a liddlol kiddlol – wae bakk inz teh Stoan Ayjus – wih wud goe tu Manhattan adn wawk upz adn dounz Fififthifthifth Abbey new lookloling atz teh beeyouteemowss Kissymuss stoar windoses, adn awn teh streat kornurs tehre wud bih peeplol selleng hawt roastifyeded chests uv nuttz – yu gawt a liddlol paypurr bagg uv tehm foar sumfink lyk a dym oar mayB a kwardur. Tehy wuz teh NOM!! Fankees foar teh lublollee memmree!
I nebber had chestnuts till a few yeers ago. Roasted wuns are very nommy, but they take losta work!
Teh peeplol hoo soalded tehm awn the koarnurs (tehy roastifyed tehm inovur fyrez in bigbigbig metal drumz ryt tehre awn teh kornurz!) – didded awl teh peelifying adn teh werkwerkwerk foar yu – yu gawt a bagg uv reddee-tu-nom nommilishusness wifowt teh pleh werkwerkwerk.
Othx, yu guis!
Ai wundaz effen mai kittehs cud bii tawt tu du teh shoppun? Eggsept deyd jus bui kitteh noms, aifinkso…
Plus deyd awlwais bii loesen teh kar keiz, coz dey don haff teh pokkutz.
OhHai catena!! Conga ratz tu u fur deh Nawt Sekkund.
Mai I borrow dis ohai spawt fur a nownsmint?? Fankeez!!
*Tu uv deh Cween’z paigez enter
*wairing deh roy elle purplol tunicz, wite legginz
*adn deh shoez wif deh curly pointeez on deh toez
*Dey rayz dere trumpetz tu deir lipz and
*bloe a short fanfare
*Deh Cheez Town Cryer enterz kerrying a parcht mint
*In a strong voice hii reedz:
Heer ye!! Here ye!!
Hur Majesty, Cweenmj is pleezed tu annown sing
Deh furst annulol Cheezland Noo Yeerz Day Parade!!
Plz tu preparifying ur floats, marching bandz, clownz, et setra fur paradifying on deh 8am ICHC time LOL on Janumerry Nawt Sekkund, Tu fowzind adn Ten.
*Deh Cheez Town Cryer den nailz deh notiss ontu
*deh board on deh Town Hawl neggst tu deh
*Time kunbershun chart.
8am ICHC =
11am Pacific
12pm Mountain (noon)
1pm Central
2pm Eastern
7pm TTI
6am Sidney (neggst day)
clownz???
oooh, skaree!!
Iz it deh giant feetz oar deh red noez dat b skeery?
aifinkso it be the crazee hayr dat iz teh wurst!
an da funneh colored fases!! Dey beez da skaree too
Crazee hayr??? Yoo havnt SEEN such a thing ’til yoo see waht sumwun sent mee just this moarning! BRB!!
*slump* Itz in mai emayol – an ai dont noe hao to bring it heer.
So ai just sented it to yoo!
Yoo ar reelee gud wif teh google!!
Ai wudn’t eben hav thot ov doing that, eben tho – google iz mai frend!
ai must admit — ai wuz wurried whut ai mite get!
Oh, AI KNOW!!
Doo yoo rememburr taht video ov teh poor plump an awkward teenagr, hoo tayped himself doing heroic lite sabre faiting?? An it wuz teh moast watched thing awn Yoo Toob?? Poor boi!
Ai wuz at sum frenz, an wanted to show tehm it. An ai THINK yoo ar sposed to look for “Star Wars Boy.” But Ai luked foar “Star Wars Kid” – an Oh MAI!! Waht a sprise THAT wuz!!
WAIT!!! Dont enewun luk!! ai’ll chek to see wich wun iz rite. Ai relee reelee reelee dont think yoo reelee want to see teh rong wun!
Star Wars Kid !!! Star Wars Kid iz teh wun yoo ar looking for.
DO. NOT. LOOK at teh uther wun!
Not Safe For Werk!
wtf is dat site??? luks spishusleee like a copycat!!!
Mah Momcat duz nawt liek clowns. Dey haz skerred hur since she wuz a littlol gurl.
A parayde!!! Wif flotees!!! YAYAYAYAY!!! Ai luf a parayde!!
Nawt mai kitteh, fangyuberimeowtch! LOLZ – shih wud brengify hoam teh stynkeh sard deenses, adn uvver stynkehpleh stufz … adn pree-shredifyed toylett paypurr aifinkso. – shih’z nawt a blakitteh fur nuffink, aifinkso! LOLZ!
He noe iz borked–juss haz a skru luse.
yu gawt reeseet?
Doan’t bovver wiv a reeplaesmint thx
ai wil taik elebenty kans ob toona az reefund ensted
kthxyum
Noe receet, noe refund!
noe shirtz, noe serfuss!
Wat a cupple uv cutie-patooties! Splort warning! Ebreewun tew ware ur purrtektive gear!
Sry; no reterns – juss snorgles!
Maybee we shud pass aut sum snorgle snorklez???
No refund. Stoar credit only.
sry, aifinkso brutherz iz AWL borked, kitteh.
ai can haz foar uv dem maiself. awl borked.
My BF thinks that teh mens was designed on a Monday or a Friday. And he is a mans!
well, u noes Adam wuz the ruff draft, rite?
Ai wud fink mens wud haz bin designed on Humpday.
@@@@@!
???? He luks OK to mee??? *awlmoast splort!*
*snaps CHRG on JCH4K, and wraps LOTS of goosee taype*
*wrapwrapwrapwrap*
Oh thankz gammacat!!! It wuz getting reelee iffee!!
Teh cyoot littlol cart. Wif a kitteh innnit!
Sum uv teh lokul soopermarkits yoost 2 hab liddlol carts liek dis fur teh kidlets – it wuz maihem! Shoppin is danjerus enuff wivowt owt uv kontrowl kidlets armed wiv metul shoppin carts!
anom!
dey still have those in some stores round heer. dey are scaree! speshully wen the adults barrel through the store without looking!
… attakifyingz yur anklolz adn neeses … bonk-ow-bonk-ow-bonk-ow!
Ai will taek him if teh stor won’t, kitteh.
O Hai evreebuddy, waz hopen to findz u awl heer. Iz wissshhhen u awl ai happity time. Heerz a greetinz frum awl ov us tu awl ov u!
A FELINE HOLIDAY
Max and Baloo are asleep on the hay
Like two puddles of ink, spilled just today;
The chickadees scold from the bush up high
Seeing Katrina and Zebby lurking near by;
Tigger is in the waterbowl with both front feet
Jealously watching Missy eat her treat;
Sonny and Frenchy play on the front lawn
With the deer they first met as a fawn;
Oliver and Dee Dee sit on the deck rail,
Looking like bookends head to tail;
Princess and Mama keep watch over all,
Remembering when all these kittens could only crawl!
And Mowgli? Well Mowgli is climbing my leg,
On his way to my shoulder where he will sit and beg.
May your Holidays be happy, no matter the weather;
May your love be unbounded by containers or tether;
We wish you great joy on this wintery day
May all of your dreams come true, and peace fill your day.
O mai, that is wundermas Mama Cat! *clappity clappity clappity*
Fank u an teh happeest uv hollydaze tew u!
Fank u bluesfan, i putz dis in awl mai kissymus crds dis yeer, cawz taut shuud bee frum awl ov us! I iz glad u likkd it.
dat wuz wundermuss!!!
Hapi Catmus tu yu, tu!!!
Happy kissymus to u tu catena!
oh – that’s moast wundermus!!!
and thank you – may ur holidays be most wundermus too!
tank u nennepus, i iz wishen ebrywun a happy kissymus too. Kittehs iz awl in garage, caus we sposed git icee tu dai, wif rain tu murro, fowoed by moar snow. iz mess, ifinkso!
*clappity clap*
an wunnurflol poum…..
tank u willy boy, iz wishen u a happity kissymus too
*sigh* is lurvlee.
o hai tessm, i iz glad u lieks! appy kissymus tu u tu!
oh yesh, fankyoo and happytayle hollydaze to awl uv yoo!
Thundermuss applolsauce!!!
Okay, I must go, but wishing you all happy holidays, we celebrated Yule Monday here at the sanctuary, and now are bracing for the ice, rain, sleet and snow coming in the next four days! I fully expect to lose power at some point, so will wish you all the best now, and hope you have a warm place to stay, food in your tummies and fresh water to drink, and warm humans to cuddle and snorgle with! Have a very merry!
dat was a wundermaus pome Mama cat! has a happy holidaze. *beems for no power outages*
*sigh*
My sign-on iz still wonky.
*yoinks bebbeh BC*
*replaces wif WP & proceeds to teh return cownter*
*bonkz wp wif majiklol bonking stik*
Lemme noez if dat halpz. *sigh* I duznt holding owt much hoap. deh majiklol bonking stick neber haz dun enneefing rite.
Awww – fankies, ur Majistee. A nawt shur dat wud halp, but ai apreesheeyate teh effurt.
Luuks liek rite nao ai kin nawt postify wif a blooness. Ai will hasta test at hoam ober mah looooooong week-week-weekend (wich starts aftur werk dis ebening).
Iz u recuvverd yet frum ur travelz?
I haz ben sleepifying a lot. I finso mebbe i b ketched up now.
Now I haz tew go du deh lawn dreez. *sigh* bbl.
Yoo ar nawt the awnlee wun bai far. Nicewitch had taht problim – she tawks about it awn teh last LOL ov yesterday.
An today, a Noo Purrson – rote awn mai profyle taht she cudn’t commint. She’d dun it awnlee wunz – Ai told hur to do waht Nicewitch did.
Butt – hoo KNOWS hao menee peeple there ar out there hoo just give up??? and go away?
An – Up Hair Endlee, teh Grated Cheezes say tehy doo nawt noe wai this iz happening. Hoo can halp??? This iz cerius!!!
She’z heer nao – TheatricalWanderlust!! But
she had to lose hur Blooness, too! SOOO sad!! What can bee teh madder???
Since ai figured owt how to post on boaf sites (hasta be “nighshayde” here, but can’t be “nightshayde” on FailBlog
), ai iz nawt lettin it get to meh. Ai duzzint want sumfin dis small to get meh down at dis joyous tiem uv yeer. 
Ai rezerb teh rite to get bery fluffee abowt it in January tho if it hazzint bin fixed.
Duz aneewun kno iffen hour frend D.R. chaingd teh skreen naim? Haz a cayute FP awn teh hawt dawg site but wen ai tride tew goe tew teh profyle tew sai congarats ai gittin teh “dese r nawt teh lol’s ur lookin fer” error
Ai cud get 2 her profiel throo mai frens list.
It lukks az iffn it iz naow D-R nawt D.R.
Yep, taht wurkd! Fank u!
O hai! My profile page wasn’t workin, so they said I could change it to D-R. Apparently the old name with two dots confoozed the compooter and made it do a 404 U-cannot-read-this message. It is now D-R. Kthx!!
Pleeze to not sell brofer!!! Oh NOES….. SPLORT!!!!!
O noze o noze!
Whoop whoop whoop heer coms the CCC!
Sweep sweep ur braynes inno a tydee pyle
Rinse rinse wif sparklee lemmum wadder
Tuck tuck pat pat bak inno braynium cabity
Snap snap awn the eggstra strenff CHRG (wdoi)
Taype taype wif Catmus cullered ducky taype
Leeds the wai tew the splort recovery lounge
Snuggle snuggle u inno a cheezfrends mappie blankie
Handz ober stoofed bebeh raynedeer tew cuddle
Offerz trai uv hawt chokklit wiv a kandee kane innit an sordid pastrees an dekoratd kookies.
Naow, u jus rest a minnit an doan luuk at anee cayute pixures fer a wile, kay?
on no!!! I new these kittehs would be trubble!
weee-oooo! weee-ooo!
heer comes the CCC!
*scoopity teh braynes*
*rinse wif lemming water (sparloling)*
*plot braynes intew hed cabity*
*pat hed bones in playce and apply lotsa ducky taype*
*snap on bran new eggstra strength CHRGwdoi*
*applly goosee taype*
*leed viktum to recubery lownge*
now, heer are some HGGs, a warm drink, and sordid choklit possums.
snuggle unner this blankee and dinna lookit beautimaus kittehs until yew feel better
Yay! dubble reskew maiks u feel twict as guud!
Oh Thnxsomuch!!! I useded to haz a basement kitteh he lookded like dese kittehs when he was itteh bitteh. I missez him muchly! Here he iz:
http://images.cheezburger.com/imagestore/2009/11/12/f3adb5ca-8f55-4429-9060-e555e71ed659.jpg
oh, we lurves teh blak wuns!
*extends floofy paw uv frenship*
plsd 2 meet u!
Pleezed to meet u too! *Shakes floofy paw heartily*
what a beeyotiful kitteh! an i luv the pic with the piannee!
(ai has a littol BC who is mai sweethart)
is nice to meet you! *extends floofy paw of frendship*
Yes!! It IZ s byootiful kitteh – an a byootiful pichoor!
Ai hav wun – a littlol BC, rite nao. Hur nayme is Fiona.
He was hyooge BC, bigger dan teh goggies! He wuvved to nap in teh piannee and watch teh hammers moov when we played. *shakes floofy paw heartily*
Oooh – dat iz a byootimus pikshur!
Welkum to Cheezland, TheatricalWanderlust! *extends floofee paw uv frendship*
*pours TW a choklit martoonie*
Thanxsomuch! *shakes floofy paw heartily* Iz sorree u had too lose teh blooness too!
Oh gud!!! There yoo ar!
But – such a pitee tath yoo had to looze yur blooness to bee heer.
Did yoo see above??? Nightshayde haz teh sayme problim, too!
This isn’t Nordstrom’s.
U noez, it nawt tu layt fr Santee Klawz tu putz u awn teh nawtee list.
Tinee shawpin kart…er gyant kittehs?
catzillahs babehs?
Oooh, lidl blak kittehs – Yu’d bedder wotch owt, yu’d bedder tayk cayr; Santa Paws is abowt to tayk to teh ayr! See wehr Farder Krissmuss is, awn his jernee rownd teh Werld, an wich Cheezpeeps get to heer him Ho ho Hoin nawt sekkund heer Wudnt it be cool if we cud link tihs syt to teh Cheezmap?!
kitteh needz a reefund
GP!!! ai hasnt seen you in a while! I hope you are having a good holidaze!
GC!!! Hao yu is???
Yesh yesh, ai has bin lokked awai in mai cyoobiclol bai sum ebil Phlonquer hu wheel remayn naymeluss… * narrows eyes at LCB *
{{GP}} here is a spoon to dig your way out!
Its not bad heer. Trying to finish some testing before the holidays, so I mite be stuck at werk late tonite!
O nose! Werking layte awn lolmas ebe – DO NAWT WANT!
* hands gammacat a pickloled egg *
Oh FangQ GP!!!
*hands GP a bag of pork skritchings*
ooo fankies!
* brings owt a keg ob Guinness *
Well, reelee HYOOGE kittehs, ov corse!
Hao yoo ar??? An Meowee Krismass to yoo!
Itz bin menee wiles since ai hav seen yoo.
{{{Janet}}} Ai is otay, fankies… notting a pynt ob Guinness adn a bag ob Pork Scratchings can’t fix…
Hao yu is?
Yur just ~ otay??? Taht’s nawt gud enuf!!!
Well – heer.
*hands GP a pynt ob Guinness adn a bag ob Pork Scarchings*
Awl bedder nao???
Ai’m ~ otay, too!
Ai’ve got WAAAAY moar to do tahn ai can pawssiblee get dun fur Krissmas. An. . . well. . . ai hoep enuf will get dun to pass!! 
* nod nod * mii tu! Ai is trying tu getting mai howse reddy fur bisitors!
do you need some YNGs to holp wif teh cleening?
pfft! Ai has dun awl ob teh cleening nao!
Mebbeh teh YNGs can rubbing mai feets?
Will Mick do? He’s at a loose end at teh moment.
I AM NOT! * strut pout strut pout strut pout *
O hai, Mick. I sawr u at teh Rock and/or Roll Hall of Famousness concert, when u singed wif U and teh 2s. Did I forget to tip u when u parked my splortscar for me?
* strut pout strut pout strut pout strut pout *
*programs robo-phlonquais to give Mick his brain meds*
*lots of t hem*
* eyes robo-phlonquais wib a suspishus *
I knows! After last time I had a reluctant to use one again. But since u is on ur sabbatical (and ur mondical and tuesdical) whut choice does I has?
* leens bakk in comfeh chare *
* nod nod * whut indeed… mebbeh… yesh… mebbeh yu cud has let meh owt ob mai cyoobiclol a littlol sooner??? huh? HUH?
* blurreh screen *
“PIGGEH!!! Yu is NAWT getting owt unteel yu has untangloled awl teh lolmas lites”
*programs robo-phlonquais to give analog-phlonquais his brain meds*
*lots of them*
* wunners hao tu get LCB to swallow hurr own brane meds *
U has to rap me in a blankie then make sure u coat teh meds wif butter.
Then take them urself, silleh. I is not on teh brain meds.
Ob corse yu is nawt…
* sneeks up behynd LCB wib a blankie adn a pakkit ob butter *
*leaps into hyperspace*
*gets hed stuck in ceiling*
Um, a little halp, plz? kthxandnofairtryingtoticklolmyfeets
now I has teh weerdest mental image
* reprograms robo-phlonquais tu ticklol LCB’s feets *
* wunners awf tu rayd teh fridge *
O noes!!!elebenty! Ifn’ my feets get tickloled by a relentless robo-phlonquais then I will pee! ON teh robo-phlonquais! Which will cause a electrimackle short, which will cause sparks, which will cause fire, which will cause … firemans!
So, um, move along. Nothing to see here.
*tikloltikloltiklol*
sorree. culdn’t resist (dats teh ebil older sister side of me)
*gets peeplol catching fingy and ladder*
*starts tugging*
*tosses flannik at LCB and fleeswithakwikness*
I had an itty bitty shoppin kart lyke dat! Was a fun konversayshun peese.
…but I had no kittehs to play wif it then. Wuld have been fun! =D
They usedta has those at teh Trader Joes’.
Or, as a certain former Vice-Presidamential candidate would say: Joe Trader Joes’.
You betcha!
Heh. When I pickeded out new glasses teh other week, I gotted teh rimless ones. I had wanted to get some last year, but a Certain Someone suddenly made them popular and I DID NOT WANT to appear to be emulating her in any way. Pleh.
I figgered by now teh statue of limitations was up. Not to mention covered in pigeon poop.
Ohai awl!!!!
iz awlmoas tiem tu leaf fro ower werk eggsmas lonch/partee sew ai wud liek tu sai tu awl ob cheezland………
haz an harri, cherri mishmash an an hoppi gnu yeer!!!
frum williboi, suzyq, bessie, goofy, minnie an dere hoomin!!!
{{Willyboy}} happy solstice an all teh otter holidays!!
*schmoo*
hahaha! somtyms i wish i could do that to my brofer!
oh u cant return him he eated teh recite
O hai! I be nu to ICHC… i be need’n summ frends!! enebudy wanna be teaz de rumpel’s frend??
Ohai! I be nu two! *extends floofy paw uv frendship*
Oh noes! I dunno how to find u!
Ummmmm – waht hav yoo loast??? Purrrhaps we can halp??
Teaz de Rumpel needses frends but i no can finds teh profyle to be frends…..
A cudn’t find it eether. We needz to noe under waht nayme teh profyle iz. Cud be differnt??
Ai think maybee Teaz-de-Rumpel duzznt hav a profyle. Ai luked bof ways ai noe hao to luk – and – nawt there.
Ohai- sure- to frend me just klik mai bloo naym!
Ai nawt can find U. Pls tu klik awn mai bloo naem adn ask tu be mai fren adn ai will sez yess.
mee 2
mee free!
Mee for!!
Reb alert Reb alert
Attention everbody.
Christmas is coming early this year it is coming the 25th of Decembers.
*5 SE runs around screaming aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh*
oh deer! did you forgit to do your lolmas shopping?
Noooo!!! He’z rite!!
Itz at leest a hole WEEK urlee this yeer!
Bella the red nowsed kitteh
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever seed it
You would even say it glows
All of the neighbour goggies
Used to laugh and call her names
So, Bella the red nose kitteh
Yanked all the gog’s entrails…
hmmm mebbe not sesonul enuff….
Bad smudgie! I mean Bella! *snerk*
LOL!!! Sumhao it just dusent kwite capchoor teh spirit ov teh seeson. Neels just a littlol bit ov werk, maybee!
Ohai, cheezfriends! collegekitteh here again with another installment of “CK’s Blasts From The Past”. In the spirit of the season, I decided to go with something festive this time around. From “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”, here’s Burl Ives with “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas”.
sumtymes aifinkso ai shud live onna eyeland uv misfit toyz!
Me too. Um, ai meens ai shud lib dere, nawt you!
* slinksawaiwifredfaceanaqwikness *
ooh–dat iz da berry berry best!! Da burley ivies and da sad dendist…
Cheeri lolmas to awl!! Noaw ai haff to go bak to da choppin and da stuffin’ 2 mai persunnul defektif brudders is comin for the noms (adn noms adn nomms adn nommmms, ecks-set-on-ya!) on lolmas after lolmas mass. Soo, on to da cuukins!!
ai is da noobly here, adn wants to sai HI to all the happi fredly cheezpeeps afor ia go chane maiseffs 2 da stofe anutter tyim….
*exstens pinkie paw of frenship*
Ohai melia…pleez ta mecha! U well fine moastly ebbbrywun heer nise adn liking da hyoomer. Plz to cum bak adn meet udder cheez peeps
Ohai, Melia! *exstens floofy paw of frenship* Ai iz 3kittehsownme, butt(!) you can call me 3kom(lotz shoter!) Many pleeses ta meetcha!
iffn yu chayne yueslb to stobe, you will burn!! NAWT WANT!!
Squeeeee! I’ll take two, please.
(Tightens CHRGwdoi and HGGs)
He’s not heavy, he’s my brofur.
BTW, We has a chrissymouse story at our blog come by for free catnip cookies and hot catmilk.
omg… -basement splort-
Junior Basement Kitteh Shoppin’ For Souls
his/her (idk if boy or girl) was a penny…and two more penny’s
I feltz dis wai once…den I lerned to luv himz…