….Ahem…
u mite need teh halp of a nice stranger.
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yu furgettun sumtink?
Ohai nd conga ratz Catena !! * Ime goen tu duk n run, bai
*
nitey!
curse taht internashunal date line. or wuteber.
Patience doesn’t seem to be working?
I am sure it has been here before!
ime berri payshent
NAWT!
Wii hazza prawblum.
Iz der a stryk at teh petfuds stoar?
Iz teh kubburds empty? Iz ur legs broke?
Well den? Warez mai gushifuds?
soemhao, tihs saondz laik mai mahm…..”Mahm, kin ai haz sumfin tu eet?” “Iz yoor ahrmz borkt? Yoo kno ware teh fuuds iz.”
.. adn yor firty-siks yeers awl !! * onli joekin *
Akshully, ai’m fitty-free, butt (!) hoo’z cowntin?
I must insist, hooman. It’s in da contract. Pointy ends iffn yu fail yer part.
That wich has bin ritten shall be re-ritten in blud.
Oar at leest catshup.
Iz fur yur pwn gud yu knoez, Iz hurtin mez moar. Dez points doan sharpen demselves yu knoez.
kitteh cud mebbe mis eh few melez, aifinkso…
*Cuvers kitteh’s eerz* *Bringz owt wate wachers kitteh version*
*Ties string* *Drags slowly infront ob kitteh* Let’s play!
dis is teh wun wif the stack uf buks fer the kitteh to reed while he iz watin!
Deyr fur reedin? U reely finkso? Ahem … lemme sho u sumfin…
Atkins, Southbeech, Flat Belleh Diet, Eat dis nawt dat…..
Ooo phone book! *orders peetza*
(not) First!
*hands kitteh a throat lozenger*
*rolls lozenger rapper into a ball* *flicks accros slickery floor*
Getitgetitgetitgetigetit! O noes! It wented under teh refridgeramator. Gots another one?
*swipes teh coff drop owt frum under teh fridj wif a yardstikk*
see? iz still gud. just gots sum dust an sum kitteh hares an sum popcorms crums on it, i kan brush it off
ohai LCB. ifinkso i meeted wun ob yor aclolyt – apprenciti – umm, stoodents teh ovver nite. we wuz luking at crissmiss trees an fownd wun in wun ob teh dimly-lited ailes at teh crissmiss tree lot. we showd teh crissmiss-tree-seller guy teh wun we wanted eksept sum ob teh branches wuz funky, we wudnered if tehy wuld settle in teh rite place after a wile, an him sed, “let me take it into teh lite to get a gud luk at it.”
teh crissmiss tree did come home wif us, probly cawz iz not shiny.
The firs is strong in this one.
if i wuz clebber i culd go wif dis on a pun run.
“pinin’ for teh fyords”?
…nope
Oh, LM. U is teh tannenbomb!
fankyoo.
i needs to spruce up my brayn.
Ai is ebber-green wiff enby at ur mentul skillz.
Awl these punz maek me pine foar scotch
Wen ur drunk, iz ur bark worse den ur byte, oar teh otter way arownd?
It maykz mai hedd feel a pownd-er-o-so hebbier.
And my iyz get so sleepy, whut ai redd-wud be furgottin.
You two are tongue and groove today.
I bough to your skill.
**paks hur trunk an logz awf**
**wayvs gud-bai an leaves**
*Leevfs befor dis getz outta handz*
*Needlols pj fir missing coniferous conmtex*
dendryet sum yurseff!
Ai haz read ‘War adn Peas, Catchur inna Rye, Gullibers trabels, teh byblol, adn Tailchayser’s sawng’. U still nawt filled teh gushifud dish.
Ai be cawling teh Lolrus adn tellz him U tuk himz bukkit!!!!!
**frowz fuds awt WRr**
Happee now?
Yass Ai haz a happee. Ai haz teh lawbstur tayl adn teh stake at hoem foar nawms tunite. Der iz eben sum meltified buddur adn teh shwimp saws.
want tu shaer?
I mite has to tayk a rain-czech. Dr TinyCat seems to finkso I has teh gallbladdur problims.
Sayv me a steak? I’m not a fan of teh lawbstur, so yoo can has awl dat u want.
Eeeep. Bin there. Dun dat. Nawt fun — but if u getz ur gallbladdur tayked owt, fings will be muchlee beddur wiffakwikness!
Gud.
And u gets all teh ice cream u can eat!
Ise screem! we’er gonna eet ise screem!
Bill Cosby ref, FTW!
Yoo betcha!
Empty fud bowl? That could be a problem. Especially since you have to get to work tomorrow, and it might be hard getting there on flat tires.
rebember, i’z teh wun wif teh poynty endz.
or ded.
neggst teh fut tappyng startz.
and den the tip o da tail starts da twitching
*twich twich*
*twich twich*
My kittehs nevvur let teh boles get emptee befoar dey start dere warnin meowz.
“MAHM! Teh boles iz gettin low….”
iz nuffin but krums, we cannawt eet krumz!
“We cannowt eatz da gushiefuds dat we eeted all da gravy offa”
“We wantz a new can an we wantz it meeNOW!”
“Crunchies?”
“No, we do nawt finxo” *shakes heds*
kumo-kitteh likes crunchies ON TOP OB himz gushifud. like a garnish.
Ai getz greeneez as garnish. Adn yeestee-beesteez (wiff garlik)!
Ai didz it!!! Ai didz it!!! Ai has offishully lostified 40 lbs. when ai hitted 227 awn teh scale todai. *bounce, bounce, bounce*
x elebenty
Concatshoelaces, Jeremy — dat iz full uv win an awsum!!!
Awsum job, Jeremy!
an yoo too, miss red, hoo haz also losted sum pownds!
Congrats to Jeremy and rhsb!!
Conga Rats Jeremy!
It feels sooooo gud tu maek it dis far. Foar teh Noo Yeer, ai am wantin’ to lose at leest 50 moar and get down tu 175. Ai noes ai can do it nao!!
yay for yoo, jeremy!! three cheez for yoo! taht iz not eezy to do! if i culd looz 40 lbs i wuld be in graet shape. yoo iz my role modlol!
my awtoimmyoon fateeg fingie problem maeks it hard to moov arownd enuff to looze wayt, but i culd probly do better tahn i am doing. yoo keep wurkin on yor goals an i’ll wurk on mine.
Es tu bad ai can nawt send yu a real cheezburger, lm…..iffen yu maek it tu yur goal, ai wuld make yu a ginormous cheezburger and ship it tu yu!!
Um, wudnt dat defeet teh purpose? Just sayin.
Semantics.
lukin at teh pretend wun on faysebuk wuz gud enuff, ifinkso! (i haz a gud imajinayshun)
Ai caint lose pownds ownlie scents, ai habbed a shower an now im makin nownsences.
wow jeremy, dats bery great. Ai duz happytail dans fur u.
skip, twirl, leap, paws
skip, leap, twirl, paws
bows
CONGRATS, JEREMY!
WOOOO! *pulls out party supplies*
da b uh *grate* uhkomplishmint!
CONGRATUMALAYSHUNS!!!
eet felines WONDERFUL, dusnt eet?
aiv lostified 22 lbs, an ai b feline bettur dan EBER!
here’s tew eben MOAR lostified lbs in 2010, for bof uv us, an ennivodee else hoo b doin wait&watching wurk!
Happi burfday, Mumrik! *schmoo*
Here’s a German black forest gateau for u to share wif ur friends – and a dog biskit for Sienna!
vielen dank, upfi – schwarzwaldtorte is one of my faybreets – käsekuchen being de otter!
(mai djuhrmin ansistry – lemme show u it!)
Happi Burfdai, Mumrik !! Ai hoep Swedin iz prittee at tihs tiem ob yeer !!
Cheez !!
ohai poussinboi!
fank u fur de burddai wishes!
yas, swedin b BERRY prittee nao dat we can has snow, n LOTS uv eet – we can has snowing frum mundey froo fursdey – AWL. DA. TYME!
tewdey we can awlso has COWLD : -9 degrees furenhiet!
yer Awesum, Jeremy.
*stands up an cheers furr Jeremy*
And noaw, let’s sillybrate!
I presents too u, teh 0 callory party!
Lead Jeremy into his Special Conga Rats Party:
*bouncy wouncy trampoline room wiff hysterical laffy bouncin fun*
*moosics ub ur choice wiff a danse floor and bootifull eggsiting danse partnurrs*
*fabuluss lights and flickers and confettis and balloons*
*snackies and refreshmint drinkees wiff no callyrees!*
*all yer cheezfrends waitin furr u and wen u arribe yell, SURPRISE!!!! WE LUBS YOU!!! weez prowd ub u!! U GO, JEREMY!
let teh partee commence!
congarats to Jimtherotundartist. Teh singlol wurd capshuns r offen teh loliest.
Datz bery troo.
Iz u gnu heer, Markitteh? If so — welkum to Cheezland!
*extends floofee paw uv frendship*
Fankyu, nightshayde (accepts floofy frendship paw wif a happee). Ai iz mostlee a lurker, but haz bin aroun cheezland awile. Funnee fing, wen ai seez yur nayme I heers “nightyshade” in my hed. In a lol mood.
Ooooo, new person? I dont speak lolspeak, but I love ICHC. *extends a plain, failblogger’s hand*
ohai grantski, nise to see yoo. yoo an yor mom doing okay?
She’s in a lot of pain, her Ulcer isn’t healing up. And my surgery is next week. So, we’re not doing that well. But it will get better
{{{Grantski and mom}}}
Is nawt eezy tu du, eever. Ai ownly has wun.
Adn welkum tu cheezland! Dis be a happy playse fur awl!
AngelPlume bespeeks trufe. Cheezland haz no equl. And teh lol wif teh calco iz byootimoose.
ohai markitteh!! *offers floofy paw ob frendship* i lubs it wen lurkers drop by an say howdy!
I been watchin a show awn teh Trabblol Channlol abowt hoswe-botes.
WANT!
taht sownds very lo-stress, ifinkso
low stress?……….mebbe, high-maintainence…….count on it.
.
definition of boat: a hole in the water in which money is thrown.
Dis a pritty splorty kitteh, but hers hassnt mist minny meels lately, ahfinkso.
Is kuz she duzznt get much eggsersyz.
She lernt erly awn abowt teh skrabbly-skrabbly floor.
Nao she juss tippy-toez sawfly frum bed tu bowl adn bakk.
Dere is grate byootee inna purrfekly rownd kitteh, ahfinkso.
Mai fud dish am epny too.
>^;^<
heer, we had tukree soop for supper, tehrs lots lefted ober.
*fills mitsubachicats fud dish wif nise hot taysty hommemaed turkeey soop*
i cuked a turkeye for teh church crissmiss party a week or so ago, tehy lettted me take home teh leftedobers frum teh wun i cuked, so i freezed tehm an maed tukreey soop tonite!
Wihl wer stil yong plz
i culd STARVE heer, yoo know.
Ohai, lm, I habs 4 gushiefuds, minus da gravey,
and ders PLENTY ov crunchy garnishies! Glad to be ablol to halp!
G is for Gushiefuds, and gushiefuds ar…..wait….wait….nvm. I dont want to go back there o.o
*Opens yet anuver fresh can* *Wunders y I r surrownded by divas an divos* *Shruggs*
tehys gushi, ob corse!
gushifuds wifowt teh gravy? well, better tahn starving, i guess *nomnomnom*
Ai haz an eggstra lawbstur tayl up teh thred. U can haz it if U still haz a hongree. Red nawt wanted it.
mmm, not haz eeted much lobster but i likes crablegs, iz sorta similar? lots ob lemming butter,plz!
Crablegz is gud! Lobstur is gr8!!!!!
haha, this is absolutely perfect
i waz roodly waked by teh sloly starvin kitteh dis mawrnin tew! but teh bloola iz nawt pashunt – teh bloola iz wery lowd, jumpin kitteh!
i awlolso haz gots to teh offis dis mawrnin 2 lobs and lobs of teh fwendship reekwestz – dis teh fwrendlist plaes i hab ebur been!
ohai bloola!!
nice tu meetcha!!
ohai nennepus! is nise tu meetchoo tu!
*eggstends teh krissmausy paw of fwrenship*
Eye cannot rule dah whirled on eh m’tee stomak! Pik up dah pace here!
Teh smyolee below wuz ment fur YOO, VIRZAN TILWEED!
.
Eye m tutched, JCH4K
that lookz likez my cat. R.I.P. Prescilla.
Thats not a funny video. It’s about a kitten who’s skinny, VERY hungry and what are they feeding the poor thing?
um, yoo mistuk “hem” with “choo” agin.