My client haz nuffin’ to add… ‘Cept he haz nebber eben seen dose shoos of which you speeks
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dose ugliax shuz?
Congrats, catena!
We has a ty, adn a rayr day indeed tu beet owt kwik-fingurd anni!
datz tru!
Mai pyooter freezd! It’s ternd cawl heer!
Wull, Ai aern’t goin 2 admitt dat Ai wuz playin sollytare an misst teh tiem!
Shall we bisit teh booteek? Wud u lyk drinkies oar noms?
Or mebbe sum obber sillybrayshuns?
*dans-dans-tywiffcatena-dans-dans*
ai iz entu turd our awf tellikon….ai nedez kaffeen. oar elkyhol. oar bofe.
*Mixez up a nys hawt strawng Irish kawfee, wiff wippy-kreem*
Heer ya go, dat awtta du teh trik!
I is heer!
*throws on tappy shoos and golden shoos*
Woohoo!!!!!!
dans dans dans
dans dans dans
dans dans dans
ooo dats eggshawstin
needs a refresshment
*noms at buff-ay*
*waddulls back to dance floor*
dans dans dans…..
*dansdans-danswifftehdawnkey-dansdans*
*dansdans-HOOF!-dansdans*
Woohoo!! *fawls down breefing beri hard*
Dey be uglified naow!
BCz mayk teh beff lolyerz
STN!
butt – tehy wuz teh JimmieChooz shooz taht himz Chooz’d!
Taht’s eezee fur yu to sai!
yupz – himz chooz’d tu chooz teh Chooz shooz … adn affur awl taht, ai nidz a drinkee … izz terhe a chawklit martoonie inz teh haows????
Taht am hiz storee an hii iz stikin tew it. An u cahnt proove otterwise. STN!
Ai kalls teh wise otters tu teh stand, as iy witnissez.
shoos be gon
ohai shadow — ai kin sea pichoors ob yur kittehs!!!!
……..
dey iz beeyootiflol……..speshully dat nawt sekkund wun – remindifies meh ob sumwun…….
dat nawt sekkund pichoor iz moast strikin…..yu sai dis boi iz onlee 1 yeer ole?….. an da Taffy iz an lubbly orinj floof bawl
da hart kittehs ar kwite hansum two
Basement kitteh iz gud lahyur.
Oh, sry. Nawt basement kitteh. Iz allmose-basement kitteh.
stayr-landeng kitteh, maiB?
has eh liddul bit awf skrupulz.
Kleen hands adn a pyoor hart.
(mayks u wunder hao hims bekaym a lolyer, hmm?)
Mai Grampakat useta sae – “Kleen hannz, a pyoor hart, adn durdy feetz” … ‘twuz teh durdy feetz (teh liturboks, doncha knoe) whut mayded himz a lolyer
Nor haz he seen ur liddle floofy hamster. Nawt at awl.
aor noe ennitink abawt teh shredud sewfa
Oar teh goaldfishee.
At leest nawt since dinner-tyme.
oar teh noo pakkij uv toylett tishu ..
Teh hamstur did dat. Dat muss be wy hims hyding. Yup.
or the corn snake????
We has a korn snayk? *luuks arown nerbusly*
an him knowz NUFFING, NUFFING I TELLZ YOO abowt teh burdie hed behind teh toylit.
oh. yoo haznt fownd it yet. well, wen yoo finds it, him knowz nuffing abowt it. we iz az surprized az yoo.
Shooz? Wut shooz? Dere wuz dem fuglee liddurbawxes in teh shaep uv shooz, but aidonutfink ennywun wud be stoopee enuf to ware doez fings on hur feetz!
U shud luuk in teh hatboxez. Gakh!
An evun if he did see teh shooz, teh furball was alreddy in tehm. An probly dusnt matsch his culur at all ennyway or if it dus yu cant pruve it or if yu can pruve it, it probly got putted tehre by teh goggie to infil – inflam – incar – instig – put suspischiuns on mah client. Whu wus at teh uther end of teh howse lukin owt teh window at teh time. Whenever it wuz.
ifz teh shoo duz nawt fitt …
Iffen shoo duzzent fit, u must akwit!
GMTA!!
Sry, Ai duzzent noe wut GMTA meenz. Pls to elab…elabbor….tell me wut it meenz. Kthnxbai.
Grate Minds Think Alike
yu ar noo heer zoeandmir?
Noe, nawt rilly. Jus a spor…sporad…just heer sumtiemz .
ai izz gladdz taht yoo izz heer! *extendses floofy paw uv frendshipz tu zoeandmir*
Aww, fankyoo!!
Ai sent u a frenship rekwest
Oh, nevvur mind….u meenz grate mynd fink aliek.
Mah mynd nawt sew grate. Sry.
Yupz!
Say . . . duzzint it luk lyke these kittehs is lying on teh purloined HUNNERT-DOLLAR TOWEL!!!????
Ai doan see no Benjamin. Juss playn whyt.
Wuz
stolenlegally akwyrd frum tehHiltonWalmart.iz very gud advice, keep yor mouf shut an let yor lolyer do all teh talking.
HALP! I’m being suppressed!
iz for yor own gud. yoo wanna talk yorself rite into jayl?
Mm. M mmm-mm-mm mm mmm.
*taype taype taype taypy uv dukytaype arownd the hed* Dere! Nao she cant confess! *aside: she haz a lawt to confess? O Mai!*
*struggles*
MPPPH! Mph mph m mph m mph mphmppph!
*draws happy-faysez awn teh dukky-tayp*
Umm, u alyfs in der? *cuts hoals in frunt fur hurs tu breef*
(luuks lyk dis nao:
o o 
)
*GIGGLOLS!*
heers teh burfday fairy to say HAPPEE BURFDAY TO ChessieCat65, Thestephy, an Marie-T. an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today! i haz bringd yummy fudjy burfday cakes, buttery yello caeks wif crunchy topping, iskreem, frooty party punch, noyzemakers, an goodie bags filled wif yoyos taht wissle “send lolyers, guns, an munnies” wen tehy yoyo, remote-control raysing zombie dollz, kandee, an bukmarks wif kyoot kitteh pikshurs for putting in yor buks yoo are reeding! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
dis iz a repeet ob burfday fairy’s very importint annownsemint frum yesterday:
attenshun, attenshun, teh burfday fairy wuld like to maek a speshul annownsement:
teh burfday fairy wuz very pleezed at teh response to teh happee burfday burfday fairy help teh aminlols challinje!! many aminlols wuz halped by yor gifts an donayshuns ob time an munnies an stuffs!!
now i wuld like to making a noo challinj to teh gud peeps ob cheezland, to cellybrate teh holliday seezon – an dis wun iz sooper-eezy! iz teh burfday fairy holliday frendly challinje!! wut it iz, iz wen yoo see a unansered commint by a noobie or sumwun yoo don’t know, reply to it!!
eben if yoo just sez, ohai, iz yoo noo heer, welkom to cheezland!! let’s let no noobie or de-lurking lurker go unreplied to, an all ob tehm get welkomd to cheezland an joyned in teh fun! taht will make teh fun times funner for evreewun. teh burfday fairy fanks yoo! 
*nods hed* Is a wurthee rekwest. When I wuz noo in cheezland, Dame Janet of Cheezland (alias JCH4K or as menneh K as she wuntz) wuz nyce to me and said – Ohai! And wuz very welkuming. It ment teh whirld to meh. I had lost a kitteh summat befoar that, and mah hart wuz borkt; teh storeh of that lost kitteh wuz teh onlee wun I culd tell.
Janet and teh uther kynd cheezies halpt heal mah borkt hart. And of korse, Janet has always bin famuss for walkin up to newcoemers and sayin – Ohai! Tell me abowt yorself, and wher ar yoo frum, and duz yoo haz enneh kittehs? So wun tyme when she went away (wuz a trip, mebbe), sum of us divided up sum of those hospitality sorts of responsibilities. I agreed to halp welkum teh noo wunz. That wuz a yeer or moar ago.
Hao teh tyme fliez.
So – if yoo seez a noo cheezfren, walk up and extend that FPOF (floofy paw of frenship) and sai – Ohai! To sumwun hoo needs it, yoo may be speakin Wurds of Life to tehm on a day when they most needed to hear a frenlee voyce.
I noes – wun day a few yeerzago, that tentativ noob with teh sad hart wuz meh. 
Ai, tuu, fownd cheezland soon affur loozin a kitteh, adn kept kummin bakk bekaws ob teh lubs adn kyndness ob teh cheezpeeps.
But eben nao, speshully wiff NPT, ai wunders sumtymz. If ai mayks a kommint, adn ebrywun els but me gets replyz, ai wunders wy is ai bein treetid lyk a troll? Wuz ai nawt funny, or has ai bin aktin trollish?
Bein ingnorifyd can hurt eben moar wen ebrywun els arown u is gettin lubs.
Ohai, AP. I sumtiems has that eggsperience too. I posts a liddlol note and ther is peeplols tawkin awl over abuv and below me, but no-wun answers bak to meh. I duz nawt think it is personal, and tries nawt to tayk it that way, but yoo ar rite: sumtiems it feels lyke bein ignored. Is nawt a gud feline.
Is a gud reminder: even us old-timers needs lubs too!
If yoo sees a lonely commint, sumtimes even just a silly cupple-wurd reply kin meen a lot!
This happens to me too! But I figger u guise is just havening fun elsewhare.
I am all for respondifying to peeps who post here postively but caution against giving any attention at all to blatantly tr0llish behavior, even during the holiday season. That includes use of teh r-word and anything directly attacking cheezpeeps or cheezculture.
Mmmm… cheez cultures…
eet hapunz tu awl awf uz, ai tink.
ooh yesh, fank yoo for poynting taht owt, lcb! trolz iz teh eggsepshun. if yor not shur if sumwun’s a trol, gib tehm teh benefit ob teh dowt but teh indispyootabolbly trolly must be ignord.
the state of wisconsin (in the USA) wants to honor the stuff that turns milk into cheese by establishing it as the Official State Bacterium (Lactococcus lactis).
wisconsin is well-known fur its cheese, but it is not as nice as cheezland.
manee howrs later i has to jump in an say OFFICIAL STATE BACTERIUM?!?!?!?!?
ifinkso heer in arid zona we culd name a great number ob owr lokal elekted offishuls az official state bacterium.
So Tru! Iz a ufny ting how dat wurks, eben heer waer eberyone has a frendly.
*nods*
ai finks sumtiems mai scents ob hoomur iz jest nawt upp too snuf
Is nawt troo! Sumtiems peeplols is laffing at whut has been sed, even if nobody postifies a reply!
Sumtiemz Ai doan’t unnerstand a commint bcoz it rifurz 2 sumfing in a moobie oar `Merican TB so Ai doan’t sai ennifing `coz Ai doan’t wanna luk stoopie!
Onteh cowntrarie, dis bein deh best plaise to ask for ecksplnains, becaws we all lieks to play nise. Nobudy heer wud mock sumbudy for not noeing sumfin aidonfinkso. Sides, we lieks to ‘splain fings.
Also ‘sides, if it is abowt teh Teebees, I prolly didnt get it eythier on accownt of not watching much. So yu can ask for me.
oh, anni, we knowz yoo! we wuldnt fink yoo iz stoopy. or anywun for aksing!! teh only stoopid qwestions are teh wunz taht dont get aksded.
Ai noe dat sumtiems Ai post sumfing dat seems to fit teh pikchoor den Ai fynd dat dere is a refrins 2 sumfing Ai noe nuffin abowt!
O hai, BF! And Happy Birfday to all.
Can I just add a non-birfday YAY for kimkiwi, nightshayde and SJ/Martoonie, who all passed their auditions and is now contributors to teh Top Five List? YAY!
Moar details here.
Fankies, LCB.
OOH! Yu izza selleb …cellab …yu has teh faymoose! Ai can has awtoegraff??
Conga Rats nightshayde! {{{{{{nightshayde}}}}}}
Kool! *has a prowd*
CONCATANASHUNS!
Fang kew LCB.
con-cat-shoe-laces you three!!!!
I should add that a hunnert and fifty peeps were invited to try out and only 25 were selected as contributors.
That’s… *gets out calcumalator* *tappity tappity* … impressive!
Conga rats do can-can of joy at de gud news!!!
Hay, Conga rats, y’awl!
U haz da rite to be silent (butt Ai nawt liek to be qwiet) Ennyfing U may say can and will be yoosed aginst U. (Huh. Dey does dat to me ennyway) ….Ai fuhgedaboudit! Ai confess! Ai iz it! Ai iz the axmurdererer uv KC! Ai destroys choklit ennywares Ai finds it! O, da Hugh Manatee!
*heerz syrinz in teh distans*
Hai der! {{{KCT}}} Haznt seen u in lotsa wylz (but ai bin away tuu).
{{{{{{AngelPlume}}}}}} Sumtiems, Ai *heers syrinz getting closer* keeps bizzy an habs sumfings *heers screeching poleez cars* abowt mai IRL goins awn *Megafone wif pleezmans say, “Com owt wif ur paw up!* Butt Ai will try harder ….did u heer doors starting to be knoked down? Aiwilltry2beheermoaroften! Eggscuse meh butt Ai gawta runs nao! *runsawaywifareelkwikness!*
*cawls up BC lolyer*
Hallo. Yeff, ai has a klyent fur u in KC. Yeff, teh poleezmens ar luuking fur hur nao. Wiff megafonez. Whut? Oh, juss sum stuffs wiff axes adn fings. No, nawt treez. Choklit eestur bunneez, aifink. No, nawt eeted, murdurfyd. Yeff, as in killifyd wiff teh axez. Hallo? Hmm.
*PSSST* Iz it saef yet? duz teh poleezmans still dere? *poking hed from unner teh manhole* U gawts meh a lolyer yet? *puts hed bak unner teh manhole*
Teh poleezmens ar gon, but so is teh lolyer.
Sowwy, gess ur awn ur own nao.
Heer, lemme help u owtta der *gibs KCT a paw-up*
I can has fifth amdendment?
lolyer kitteh sez yesh, just sit tehr an smile. (altho usully taking teh fif amdendmit makes yoo luk gilty az h3ck becawz it sownds liek anyfing yoo say iz going to maek yoo luk bad!)
I can has Denny Crane?
Is u in Boston? (ai lubs dat sho, adn dat karaktur! Denny Crayn!
)
Werse..in DC, and am a loloyer….
Oh welllll
Thats otay!!
u du know what heinlein said about lolyers??
>^;^<
I’d jes rathur has a fifth, espeshulee aftur teh day I had at werk.
Durn burn it. I ran in heer all prowd an eggsited. I wur gunna say all snazzifed-like, “Dat bee LCB an hur Lolyer!”
Ellebenty billyun cheezies beeted meh.
*Slow Donkey is Slow*
We wud nevver beet you, Kafleen…parsnip you, well mebbe….
heehee…
*wisspurrs intheominoustraditionofthekidinthechristmasstoryline*
i like beets…
**Sees parsnip….
**
Ohai, Dawnkee!
**schmoos kafleen awn hur noas**
Wii still lubs yoo!
*melts*
U meltid?
U must be sumware warmur den heer. Ifn u wuz heer, u wud turn in2 a dawnkee-sikklol!
**luuks arown wif a suspishus**
WHO turnded awf teh warm owtsied?
Donkey-Sickle! I likes it!
(snickers…much hilarity potential…*runs*)
Pardon mee Roy, iz dat da cat dat ate yor nu shooz?
LOL!!!
Hey, wait, izzunt it teh goggie dat yooshully bee blamed furr such fings?
Teh evididunts:
ht tp://niketalk.yuku.com/topic/124563/t/Brandon-Roy-s-shoes-falling-apart.html
Here’s some old-time music for all you wonderful Cheezpeeps, courtesy of CK. And now, Glen Campbell with “Wichita Lineman”.
Oh, wow……….. I’d forgotten that song….
and that voice…… *sigh*
ohaiyo….that coud b bla.bla bla.bla …. . .. … .. . …. … … ..♪ . . what?. ..
ohai carotte! nise to see yoo today!
exactly!
Zero Cat!
(ennybuddy gettit? huh?huh? Paging MelOnyx ! Paging MelOnyx! Movie Ref Wiz and Queen!)
O Hai, kafleen! {{{{kafleen}}}}} Wii ar awl kittehsicklols in KC! *rapping anuvver blanket arownd and throwing anuvver peece uv furninture awn teh fire* It wuz 8 dis morning! Wind chillers…..below elebenty!
It’s like you all know all the law students are taking exams right now.
hee hee hee. i wented to law skool vikariously throo my hubby (that wuz close enuff to teh reel fing for me) i still rebember teh day him taked himz estate and gift tax final.
Hah, who needs a chewbacca defense when he can have a basement cat defense
hayz that kitteh gettin itz eyez covared looks like mah lolcat!! WAITZ!!! IT IS MAH LOLCAT!! OMGZ!