Note to self: Next time… member to land on feetz
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Note to self: Next time…
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an awn the mattress!
Concatshoelaces on ur nawt sekkund, carosue!
*wheels out cart uv
ordu…,horsiedoo…, snackee fuds.**wheels out bar cart*
Plz to halpin urselves. Ai iz hazzin lerjix to wutebber dey just cleenified teh outside uv mah cubicle wif.
Thx nightshayde !! Iz lunsh tiem hier adn ai haz a hungree !!
*
* Whisspaz: Yu nawt torkin bowt teh laydeez ruum, r yu?
Nope nope — office cubicle. They’re covered in fabric — and people came around about an hour ago to clean them. Whatever chemical they used is making it hard for me to breathe. I just ran off to a conference room for a few minutes & stopped coughing. I may just leave early — no sense in sitting here not being able to breathe when I have no work to do this evening anyway.
U noe wutt teh donkey hatez? Teh afftur smell ub simpull green.
i will nawt say wutt it smells like. Yer welcome.
Butt, it r deceptive. Croolee so. Cuz it smells all nice in teh bottul. Den, afftur a bit……..blarg & pleh
Spk ov cleenur stenchz…Wy duz dose gas stayshun kunvenience storz AWL smel lyk dif vershuns of cleenerz I nebber smel enywhere els? Dere wuz wun dey yoozed in mai Jr Hi grlzrm dat med mi pleh when it combind wif teh smell ov….TMI.
heehee
remines meh ub teh Avon ladee in teh ellybaiter joke
Yesh, tehre bi nuffin tu du at hoam taht cannut wate !!
Maibi teh cleena woz wairin bad arftashaib ?? * ie enni aftashaib *
Nah – definitlee teh cleenin produkt. Ai haz a littlol shoppin ai kin do — mebbe ai will swim owt & do dat (itz rainy heer today).
Ize habbin a rayney dai at hoam !! Enjoi yor swim !!
u noe wutt aftershabe i hate?
I hatez POLO. I hatez it sooooo hard. I hates it wiff teh hate ub a millyun wite hot suns. I hates it harder dan a jaded Fark poster hatez teh Family Circus cartoon. I hatez it…
*crickets*
um, sorry..
i finkso it smells like sumfin i duz nawt like to menshun.
*wisspurrs* gladya crossed out the horsie doo…
/noms happily while doing the ScarlettOHarabehindtheboothattheballbuttbounce as a nawt secund danse
* PB tinks ob Cameron De Ass dans dans dans …
*
doze gurls r cute.
*sigh*
I nebbur has, an nebbur will, look dat gud.
Awwww. Send pixtur , we look at u. bet u look lovly
mmuuummmm! Snakkee fuds!
*givs kitteh an ice pak fur himz hed*
Mah kitten lukz lik dis, offun!
Mah tux Syvester lukz alot lyk dis ifn yuz wakez himz up.
Hao menneh fingerz am i holdin up. kitteh??
And concats tew carosue on yer nawt sekkund!
Umm, wun ??
.. no, no, twu !!
Oar iz taht elebenty ??
… Oar iz it tree ?? * binairy kittee *
Adn wi am ai torkin tu triplitz … ?? !!
dere r 10 kinds ub kittehs in teh wurld………
Oops! Sorreh! Concats tew nightshayde tew!
Fankies, thabigcheesy!
Iz u gnu to ICHC? If so, welkum to dis byootimus plaec! If nawt, plz to forgiv meh fur nawt meetin u sooner.
*extends floofee paw in frendship*
*pours thabigcheesy a choklit martoonie*
*clinks glasses*
Cheez!
Yesh. I iz gnu. Well, Iz been a lerker for a wong time, but I just signded up the otter dai.
*Extens floofie paw right back atcha!*
Wow! Yew makes teh ossimest martooniez! *hiccup!*
Berreh nyce tew meetcha!
Kitteh haz crasht! Kwik! Sumwunz callz 9elebenty!
Hao du u get such pic? Oo
Nid mai kat tu du dat !
Sometimes my Toonces dozes off mid-baff and fergetz to putz her tung away. If she happend to be crosseyed she would look similar to dis.
Ahem !! Yu corld yor boi-cat Jenny ?? * onli arksing *
*gigglol* Yup. He wuz orijinally called “Jack,” (my Dadcat named three of the kitties in the litter Manny, Mo, and Jack – characters used to advertise an auto parts chain called “Pep Boys”), but the name really didn’t suit him. Besides — he was an orange (but nawt poyzin) tabby who matched teh deskripshun uv Jennyanydots from CATS purrrfektlee.
Wen ai wuz a littlol gurl, we had a boikat naymed Sally.
I once hadda BC named Pokey and a moistly wite kitteh named Shadow. It cormfused everyone butt (!) me.
Mebbe da nekstist boicat U can haz U can kawl Sue…
.
A boicat naymded Sue…
Kitteh shoz wot hi finks ob yu !!
WOOP!WOOP!WOOP!WOOP!
Warning! Warning!
Super-Duper Care Troll Bait!!
and smaller woop woop! :
Headdesk Photoshop Troll Bait
Itz enuff tu maik yu cross, ide sai !! * narsti tr*llz .. *
*snurt*
**Red steps up to mikrofone**
I can has ur atenshuns, plz?
Az y’all be knowin, I nawt lyk Wintur, so I’ve desided dat I’m goin sumware warm dis yeer….
BUTT, I nawt wanna go alone….
I has openin foar a Cabana Boy!
Ennywun innerested, plz to prezent ur applikayshun to me. I will letting yoo kno ifn yoo has teh jawb.
Kthxbai.
OOOOO….I wunna go. Butt I is nawt a boy.
*gits brite ideer!
*
*donkey tosses on a fake musstache an winks @ cheezfrends…Naow I is incogneato!!*
Trots up too Red… Wutt dis position involve?
Um…..U nawt luk lyk gud applikant foar teh jawb.
Dis jawb inbolbs bringin me drinkees wif umbrellys in dem, feedin me froot, an fannin me wif palm fronz.
Besydes, I nawt finkso teh yooniform wud werk foar yoo.
This souwndz like some sorda discrimination situation we got hear.
Pfft.
Cawl a lolyer.
**stiks tong owt at pj**
I can haz class ax shun?
Iz yu in a class awl bi yurself?
PJ’s nawt only in a clas by hurself, hur iz owtstandin in hur feeld!
Ai hoap PJ bi weerin ay cote. Itz coled owt der.
I iz gonna need compens com c…extra dama dageme…monees fer pain an suffrun. It’s SO coled! Wat am I doin hear in hur feeld?
Wut, u nawt gawt enuf sense to come in frum teh cowld?
Herz hazznt gotted da munnees yet, sew herz nawt gotz enny cents…
.
Herz iz awlmoast liek me — Iz 2 pore 2 pai atenshun…
Ohai, Aahz!
U wanna apply to be my Cabana Boy?
I wood, butt (!) I iz awlriddee cabana boi 4 mai Chyneez gurl daown heer n Jorja… I finksew herz wood b less dan happeetayl if I wuz cabana boi 4 moar dan wun gurl…
.
Haowsumebber, dat beeyin sedded…
*rolls out portable bar with icemaker and blender*
*pourpourpour*
*adds ice*
*WHIRRRRRRRRRRRR*
*coats rims with salt*
*pour*
*adds umbrellas*
Heer — haz sum margareeta onna hows
*klinks glasses*
Cheez!!1!
Yah, u has gud poynt dere. I finkso I wud nawt has a happee ifn my man wuz bein Cabana Boy foar sumwun eles too.
**sips drinkee**
Mmmm! U iz wun HEKUVA bartender, tho!
Fanky!
*sipsipsip*
I nawt sew bad uvva bartinder IRL, eevur… I jess doan mayk much ennymoar (werkin atta cherch I haz verree fyoo kustummerz…)
Whut iz yu duing standin owt dere? Iz coled! Git insyde ware itz warm(er).
*shivers* Big snowstorm commin this week week weak.
*snugglols Toonces under warm blankee*
I opind teh door dis moarnin, gettin reddy to leev foar werk an it wuz snowin heer.
I finkso I freeked teh kittehs owt wen I egg-sklaymed “WTH?”
Maybeh wen Dini stepz into da snow, she nawt wanna escape no more.
Akshulee, teh last few tiemz I has opind teh door an hur be neer it, hur tayks a step bak, az if to sayin “Hek No! Iz too cowld owt dere!”
Sarah jes luuks at hur lyk hur be stoopit foar eben wantin to go owt.
Sarah nose wat itz like out der. *nods*
**nods**
Yesh, I finkso dats why Sarah nawt try to egg-skayp.
Dis moarnin, bofe of dem wuz awn teh bed wen I finalee got outta teh bed.
Lawng storee short, I shudda stayed ware I wuz.
Red — haow big iz “big”? I memburz beein n Lex win dey purr-diktid 4 inchiz uv snoe, butt (!) aftur awl wuz sedded n didded (n snoed) we gotted teh 14 inchiz n wun dai…
.
N datz nawt 2 minshun da big freez uv 2003 — we wuz wiffowt powr 4 uh hoal weak… Fank CC 4 keruseen heeturz…
.
Naow, U Cheezfrinz frum NY oar Shikaggo mite nawt finksew datz uh lawt, butt (!) n KY dat’ll shut fingz daown 2 uh kuppla daiz…
14 inches of snow wud slow things down in Shikago!
Aahz – U remembur teh elebenty-intch “flurry”?!?!?!
I wuz libbin in Lex an teh hole STAYT wuz shuttid down!
I alsew remembur teh Icy Storm of 2003. I wuz ‘pozed to start werkin at UK, butt cud nawt get outta teh howse.
Do u remembur teh Icy Storm of 1994-ish? I ended up stuk in Knoxville, TN foar a few dayz. Wuz innerestin dryv hoam, lemme tell ya!
I wuz steel livvin n Tennis-C durin da stoarm uv 1994, butt (!) it wuz steel teh bad daown dere…
.
I finksew da ‘flurree’ U is tawkin bowt iz da saym wun I wuz tawkin bowt. Ware I livded den we wuz spowsta gitz sumware tween 2 n 4 inchiz — insted we gotted obber uh fut. I shuvvulded da dryvwai 8 tymz durin da nyt sew I wooden hafta shuvvul da hoal fing wunts it gotted teh deap… *pleh*
.
PJ – I bin n Shikaggo win it snoed bowt axul deap 2 uh ferris wheel, n dey b teh nowin haow 2 deel wif teh snoe dere — dey jess sind owt da plowz n b dun wiffit. N ifn ur car iz parkted onna street win da plowz kumz bai, 2 bad — U hafta wayt 4 da spreeng thaw b4 U kin gitz ur car bak…
Aahz – Yeah, dat’s teh saym storm. I finkso Bill Meck sed wii wuz gonna hazza dustin, butt got berry embarissed wen wii gottid elebenty inchiz!
Wii losted power foar a few dayz dis past yeer, altho nawt az bad az in prevyus yeers. Still wuz nawt fun.
I HAYTHAYTHAYT Wintur! I nawt lyk cold oar snow. Dat’s why I wanna go sumware warm.
I iz gunna sleap naow … Nyt awl!!1!
‘Nite, Aahz!
*pouts*
**brightens**
Yah! wutt pj perry sed!
Hay, u nawt shud be powtin.
U haz ur own eye-land!
oh.
I almoas had a wunnurr anna faynt.
U is refurring to teh REAL donkey island, yesh?
I has a fantasy in mah head dat r verreh big about teh kafleen donkey island…i thotso mebbeh u rememburred a passeeng comment about it sometime…
I wuz referin to teh dawnkee eye-land, butt now dat u menshun it, I do remembur u tawlkin abowt ur fantasee eye-land.
How bowt dis deel – U nawt be Cabana Boy, butt u can bisit me an can has ur own Cabana Boy!
Deel? **holds owt floofy paw**
*shakes floofy paw inthoozyasstickly*
*wisspurrs to red*
iwuntsmatthewgraygublertobemycabanaboi
Dat’s just owr seekrit, k?
**goez to Googlol teh naym**
**comez bak**
Innerestin choyse….. wutebber flotes ur bote.
**whispurrs to dawnkee**
My choyse iz narrowd down to a few, butt I nawt sayin ennymoar.
LOL!!!!!
I allus did like teh strange wuns……..
*wispers* ai lieks him too, dawnkey! Ai LUBS boi nerds!
in dat case, 4.5 and keshet, i presents to you my fabrite picture of him.
viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=11889429&albumID=451913&imageID=28819672
Weird, too….cuz i usually like teh old guys.
mi thri!
Teh kehtti bein so silly!
He be forgettin tu land on hiz tootsies!
OOF!
He be sayin,
bein a kehtti iz hardur wurk den it luks!
-QM
Niec wirk, QM !! * Bet itz hardur tahn it luks tuu !!
*
What impresses me is the diligence. I get creative spurts but they just come and go. I am impressed by people who repeatedly are able to create like this. I respect the commitment.
Kafleen: Long az U doan gett Creyativ SPLORTZ.
Ebrywun: Spk ob wich gud we repurrrrpose teh CCC jus dis wonce tew tret dis poor kitteh?
Yesh! Do it naw! It’s been a long time!!
dis LOL rebembered me ob dis wun: BONK an in partikyoolar, dis commint and teh follow-ups (keep reeding till yoo get to Me’s sekund letter). Wun ob teh manee funnyest fings evar on ICHC!
Oh, oh! ROFL! I member that one. ai was a lurker way back then, too! Shore do miss some uf r early players heer!
Teh kitteh fawl down and getz borked or haz him been hittin teh nip?
mebbeh teh lattur happened nawt secund and teh former happend neggst.
nesting fail!
brassinfrassin!
Dat be what be happened aifinkso
Yu kno whut is funee, red? Ai don’t know wai Ai dinna fink uv dis befoar…dad big floofy blankie ai gotted frum retail therapy in teh last lol….it is bright RED!!
times elebenty
Heer!! Yu can haz!!
Oh, fankyoo Jeremy!
Iz cold heer now, so I will tayk awl teh blankees I can git.
**curlols up in noo blankee**
**YAWNZ**
I finnkso I’m gonna tayk my noo blankee upstayrz an go to bed.
Dat iz, ifn I can get teh kirrehs to stop dere game of “Chase” foar teh nite.
‘Hazza gud nite/day/wutebber!
Ohai frum Jurminee!! wii b sailing(?) doan a kanal in owr cruuzing ship!! It b just after 6 in the morning here!! I sending Ohaiz frum Teasel and Jamamamamama and Janet, tuu!
oh, is u in ur baving soot, cweenmj?
*in a shocking turn ub events, Donkee suddenlee appeers on teh deck!!!!*
A loud, obnoxious, ominous, braying BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! is herd!!!
All heds swing round wiff a kwikness!
Cweenmj, in her baveeng soot is SPLATTED WIFF A ROGUE SNOWBALL!!!
*donkee flapps aurora wings and flies majiklolly away*
/juss ask janet iff u dussunt noe bowt teh wings
//ps: muahahahahahhahahh!!!!!
*Wipez deh ebil snow off baveeng soot!!*
*luks askanse at Kafleen*
*Den fawlz ober laffing.
Oh hai Mai Deer DawnKee fren!! Wii awl thot uv u yesterday wen wii saw wafflolz onna stick!! Dey eben hadded deh wafflolz dippt in chokklit onna stik!!!
i noe.
beefoar i leeved i eeted teh wun u packed in ur sootcase furr a midnite snack .
*smacks lips wile flying bak*
*eers perk up* I finx a wafflol ona stick dippt in chokklit sownds lyke a gr8 idea!
Plz to b having a wundrful trip all yous!
Mai Cween!!! U be near me!!!! Woot, woot!!! enjoy ur crooze and drink sum Glühwein (mulled wine), k? And go and bisit sum Krissmas markets, while ur at it.
Jello Shooters!
…..=⊡ェ⊡=…. …… . .. .. …………………. ＊………………. . .. ……. . …. .. .
ohai, an sawry to be buttin in so layte, but iz sumfin ai donut unnerstand? um…um…wuz a tr0ll alert urlyer, an ai did nawt unnerstan it? wuz a tr0ll around? or wuz teh pikshoor wun taht wud draw owt teh tr0lls? ize feelin stoopy heer, but…um…huh? we awl noze sunny lykes tew be findin teh tr0lls to hug them an lub them an comb teh birdnests owt uv dere hare, but…but…ai cannawt find teh tr0ll! can ennybuddy pleez eggsplayne tew me? nawt being sarcastic or facetious or a smart-mouf or sumfin, just iz tryin tew unnerstand?
Ohhai!
i wuz making teh joke dat teh crossed eyed cat wiff tongue owt is Care Troll Bait, meening teh picture baits teh Care Troll to come and complain dat dis cat is injured and we shud not has it on heer, ormebbeh teh Photoshop Troll come and say Oh, doze eyes are not reel, fools, dey are photoshopped.
u noe, teh abbruj shennannyguns ub peepulls dat cannut hab funs…
Looks more like
Note to self: No lick the electric outlet next time
David Sedaris Kitteh!
Ai can’t alieve ai totaled da Tabby.
‘nd so, fur ebar after kittehs has awlways landed on der feets (oar paws?)
next time i member nut 2 eat raw beef stew… i am noweth constipated
noweth constipated… is dat Olde English constipashun? *snurt*