
JAMMED DOOR Remember when your wife said ‘get that fixed.’ and you said ‘procrastination never hurt anyone’?
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: shanebc01 via Poster Builder
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JAMMED DOOR Remember when your wife said ‘get that fixed.’ and you said ‘procrastination never hurt anyone’?
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: shanebc01 via Poster Builder
EEEEEEEP!
conga rats dere anni………
luk et da sillah hoomins hand…
wabin doun soe faste izza blurr…
Thx willy boy. We haz us a brayde!
ai hoeps dats jintle bin?
Aiiieeeee! Yogi makin a howse cawl!
an hee duzznt haz a pik-a-nik baskit!
dis yogi iz lukin fro an pikanik baskit……..
oar an tastee hoomin…
wut eber him seas frust wil dew afinks
Wheeeyy too cloze for comforts!
“I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.”
it izzunt aye lyon. shuld wi gitt in teh car?
Cheeses twice! You betcha we should!
lets git in teh limo innsted!
Gud aideeah! Limo haz moar rum anna bar.
We’z gonna have to be drivin a snoplow by tomorrow heer. HOnest to gosh blizzard! Upto a foot of sno, and windywindywindy! I has tomorrow off from werk, but will probably go in if someone else can’t make it. Luckee I got Christmas lites put up last nite! ALso, looks like da hooman is wavin a really enthusiastic hi to deh bear!
Ai liv in Calyfornya’s Sentral Valli, abowt 10 ft abuv see levul, ann ai swarez it wuz snooing aye cupplol howerz ago wen ai tuk teh goggehs owt.
dat be owr weatha maker dats coming heer, I fink. *breaks owt teh snoshoes and blizzard goggles*
Ai libs in teh prairieairies ob teh VLC, we nawt niid a snowplow sew mush, butt (snerk) heeted seets in teh veehickle wud bi teh niess! adn a reemoat start fingee sew teh car is warmded up befoar ai gose aot. Sandy Claws, yew lissining?
pleh, pleh, pleh! pleez tew keep awl the sno tew urseff, kthxshiver
BARE HUGZ PLZ??
Dood! Get sum cloes awn!
lulz!
ditto! eeew, bare bearz eeeeeeew.
Bear gonna tri teh land shark ploy neggst….
*knock knock knock*
Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: What?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma’am.
Woman: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You’re the shark, and you know it.
Voice: Wait. I-I’m only a dolphin, ma’am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well…okay. Yaaaargh!!
I like that.LOL
Mayk shur teh door is nawt stuck
Wen hambloling bayr coems tu taon
Rambles up wen teh door izzent daon.
Dere is hunni in teh trukk –
Teh hyoomin is owt of lukk.
*sigh* shambloling bayr, nawt hambloling.
cood bii:
ambloling
bumbloling
carololing
d…
Drumrolloling
Exthololing
Gambloling
H…..
Howloling
I…?
Intimidatlolling?
Jumbloling
K…
Icyclole picking
Jelly rolloling
Koalola racing
Loling owt lowd
M….
Mumblolling
Noes picklolling (ew)
O…
Meowloling
Noodloling
Ordurloling Chynsneeze taik-owt
Perkololating (teh gud kawfee)
Q …
Quadrilaterloling
Rattloling
Spilloling
T…
Tumblolling
Umbrellolling
V…
V-E-T ing
Wallolling
X…
X-aminayteng teh Kittehmus prezzints tu gess wutz insyd
Zoomeng arawnd awn teh noo trysiklol!!
Y didded ai foregetz teh Y??!!
Xhaling
Yodelololing
Znorklolololing!
Well now you’ll remember it for the rest of your life. Both seconds of it.
Hunnyroling
I…
Wuts oop wiv dis? Dats nawt a kitteh!?!? Dis sight ees ownlee furr kittehs!!! O, teh huje bare-itee!!! *frows teh t-r-o-l-l mask owt teh windoe* Wut? Sumbuddy had too doo eet!
Himz a Kodiak lookin’ fella, abaot ten feets high!
Sumtiemz Ai aer glad dat we duzn’t hab ennifing feerse az big az dat in TTI! The biggist fing we haz dat iz a carnibor iz teh fawks.
wih haz teh Flolrida blak bares heer … tehy libbz inz teh woobses, butt(!!) ar getzeng skweezimifyed owt uv teihr habbytatt bekaws stoopy hoominz keap bilden hows iss, so tehy sho upz inz peeplolz drivamawaes adn sumtyms teihr swimmenpules … tehn teh gaim war dunn haz tu goe adn anes … annis … knonk em owt tu taek tehm bak tu teh woobses.
bear in teh swimmin pool?!? all we eber got was deer in teh back yard!
(yusta live north of Tampa)
Peeplolz arownd heer (NE Flolridduh) getz awl kyndz uv amminlolz inz teh yardz – barez, adn alley gayturz, adn dearz … tehre r alley gayturz inz teh kreak bihynd mai off iss, butt(!!) soe farr tehy haz staid inz teh waddur … ofangyu CC foar taht!!
We yoosta get raccoons & possums at Momcat’s howse. Dey wuz teh kyoot!
Teh racketykoonz adn teh pawsumz myt LUK lyk teh kyoot, butt (!!) tehy izz meen adn agrez … aggris … tehy wyl BITEZ yoo … adn moar offun tehn nawt, tehy haz teh ray beez, speshully ifz yu seez tehm dureng teh daetym (tehym izz nurmalee Nokturn Alley amminulz, adn ifz tehy izz owt in teh daetym, tehy izz uzalee sik) .
*hands AfriCat a red velvet cayke*
FangQ! I didn’t want tew weer taht mask!
Oooo! *droolz* red velvet cayke!!! nomnomnomnomnom-urp!
exkweez mii! Fanks furr teh cayke Gammacat!
huje bare-itee *snert*
Iffen aye baer wunts tu bi heer, ai sayz lets hym.
Aidunno abowt yu, butt ai iz nawt arrgyuing wiffa baer.
Bare sez … “Hae, Goaldylokz! Tihs pour ijj NAWT jusryt … soe ai’m kummin foar YURZ!” … pliz tu noat – hoomin in pikshur izz Fredd Goaldyloks, gurrl in stordybuk’s brudder …
And thiz pic is why you niver heerd of Fredd befor. His story mite not come awt so good as Goldie’s! Run, Fredd, run!
yups – poar Fredd – himz wuz a nies gie … jsut runneded s-l-o-e …
so why is sumwon takin a pikshur instead of running lyke mad?
dey are ALOT braver tahn me!
Iz jus acauz teh door-gui iz kloser, camra-gui kan run lyke heck wen yogi iz okkupyd wif door-gui. Lyke Mel sed up thred dere…hii duzznt haz tew owtrun teh bare, jus teh uvver gui!
Ohai gammacat, u luukin bery festibe! ai luvs teh ornamint awn ur tayle
FangQ bluesfan473! Ai lyke yer Santa Hat! it always makes me smile!
About those avatars: See my announcification below \/ \/
Cuz teh gui at teh door is closer tu teh hyuj-nommitee abowt tu okkur.
“hyuj-nommitee” LOL!!!!
@@@@@@ x elebentee!!!
ai hoeps deys nawt da wun hoos sposed tu bee closin da doar…
O hai, guise! I has updatified teh Gone Rouges Gallery of festive loliday avatars!
If u has a festive avatar but u is not in teh gallery, plz to let me know. kthxwritetololcatburglaratgmaildotcom
*swimswimswimswim*
Hi lcb! Could I be in the gallery please? Everyone looks so festive!
U soitenly can! I looked back over teh last few days worth of lols yesterday but didnot see a comment from u.
I’ll add u tonight; I is putting everybuddy’s name right on teh pic so u doesn’t has to clickity click click to see who is whom. I doesnot has access to teh labelmaker where I is at teh moment.
*lightblub*
*rummages in teh piggeh’s cubiclol*
Lemme see whut I can does.
Thank you!
*swims in a circle singing falalalalala*
By the way ladies…I’m under the mistletoe….in case anyone is interested. Just saying….
*plants a big,
wetdry SMOO on Hugh’s cheek**or jowl, or whatever it’s called*
*gives hughgmanatee a grayte big squeeze & smoo*
SHMOO tu yu, hugh!
*LCB staggers in. She has bits of colored paper sticking to her person. She has red ink in her hair*
Ok, Hugh! U is in teh gallery now. khtxIneedahughgmartoonie
but but but… whut good was a pickloled egg gettin that done??
Teh pickloled egg is integral to teh process!
U see, u sets up a trap wif teh pickloled egg dangling just a littlol but out of reach from a treadmmill. When a piggeh spies teh egg, it jumps on teh treadmill to chase it. Teh piggeh-powered treadmill in turn powers a mechanical fan, which in turn blows on a littlol wagon. When teh wagon bumps into a button, this activates teh elecrimarific pen-and-ink machine, which in turn…
… drips ink into a pan wich grajually fills up, tilts and upsots a marble wich rolls down from teh up side of a seesaw to teh downside, which makes teh downsied go up and teh upsied go down, which in turn….
drawers a portrayt uv Rube Goldberg whyl nockin aye steal bawl intu moshun down aye seeries uv ramps spinnifying flaggs befoar fawling intu a bukket which in turn…
tippeeippeetippeez ovur adn spilz waddur intu a kollander wich sprinklolz teh grasz seads wich groe upz adn tikklol teh pinkiepinkietoepads uv teh kitteh hoo gigglols adn jumpz intu teh ayr adn …
makes a huge noise of steel ball in metal bucket. This scarifies the sleeping kitteh who leaps up to the top of the refrigerator. There the kitteh finds a package of dog treats, which she knocks down to the floor. The dog comes running in to see whatz happening and skids on the waxed linoleum (because of course ebree cheezefrend waxes the kitchen floor every Mondane) and knocks over the kitchen stool. Which in turn…
fallz ontoo speshul secret lever dat opens da’ trapdoor dat kitteh falls through into secret chamebur of BC hoo den uses magikal powerz to create erfquake wich in turn…
cool picture. lame caption.
that’s a door from a loading dock. no “wife” is gonna be asking some maintenance supervisor to fix the door from the loading dock where he works.
Moar caek?
Fanx Annipuss!
We has a hole pallet of caek!
*offers AfriCat a forklift*
*adds a Cranberry Applol Crisp to teh break ruum menu*
She will if they own the company and he is in charge of maintenance while she is in charge of making sure every other $%^&* thing runs smoothly.
*sigh* I keep forgetting…
Fankoo fur teh caek!
Noe wurries, enjoi!!!
Ai has more cayke and sordid noms and drinks! eberyone follow me tew the brayke room!
Makwaa not look to happy.
An ai don fink dat hoomin feelz too happy eiver!!!
Ironicly, his sphincter is now totally unjammed.
“First you say it, then you do it!”
*just sayin’”
We all have our bear to cross. *nods*
An teh rite to arm bears?
Eeep!
arn’t they armed with the toofs allready?!?! how many more arms wud they need?!?
Anom, LCB!
adn taht is wunn kross bare, aifinkso!
run trough teh door!!!!! Luks lik u has ur subber
Ohai ebryone. I has had a temp job fur a week week week, an has mist al the lols an chonver konvers chat. Butt (!) was a gud job, an I maybee has it agin Chrismus week (vacaation fillins).
Ohai! Hoaps yu gits teh Chrismus jawb. Doan wurk too hard!
Tanks. Iz hard wurk bein a temp.
Song for Catsmas!
1. Claw the Halls
2. Away in a Litter Box
3. Jingle Purrs
4. Joy, To the Catnip
5. The First Meow
6. Feline Navidad
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
8. Frosty, the Furball
9. Here Comes Sandy Claws
10. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
11. Oh! Scratching Post
Can wii fink ub any Moar?
12. Gud King Wencescat ?
O, an gud nite-nite tu awlzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Felis Noobidawt
Wee Free Kittehs
Dew Yu Nom Wut Ai Nom?
Awae Inz a Nomger
CC Rezt Ye Meowree, Hoominpeepz
Gud Kyng Meowcesclaws
Jolloly Owld St. Kittehclaws
Wih 3 Kittehs uv Cheeziewurld Arr
Ahm Dreemimg uv a Wite Persian
The Nomfurmee carol
Silent noms
Cattolf the rednosed meezer
Joy to the noms!
Away inna toonacan
ah saw tree noms on Catmas day?
Poor bear — himz jus misunderstood. He needz a hug.
Ri-i-i-i-te! Adn yoo can bees nawt-sekkund in lyon fur dat hug, NS!
Jeebus Crist, it’s a hug lion! Get in teh caress!
*limo pullz up negst tu LCB*
*a hunk ob fyremens bursts owt*
“bursts”?
Yas, bursts. Deys inna hurry!
ooh! a hunk ov hunky fyremenz!! ai”m DERE!! *shwoonz ober teh hunky fyremens*
We Free Kittehs
Ai wuzzint finished.
Carol ob da Bells on Mah Kollar
Kittens We Hab Purred On High
Oh, Furry Night
Rise Up Kittehs, and Foller
I can has bare-skin rug to wrap up in?
It be COLD an SNOWIN heer!
Do NAWT WANT!
**paks sootcayse an planz trip to sumware warmur**
shame on you. doncha no da’ snoe iz our frend?
*paks together fresh snowball an planz target*
I’ll HUFF…
And I’l PUFF….
Oops. Wrong predatory animlol, wrong story.
Nevermind…
elebenty @@@@@@ for u!!!
Knock-knock.
Hoos dere?
Mr. Obvious.
Wuttchoo wunt NOAW, Mr. Obvious?
Dat’s a bear, nawt a cat.
*door slam*