human, go over there and fetch me the remote. and a soda, with a bendy straw
u betteh maek sur iz a bendy straw.
Picture by: Queenmoreta Caption by: A00a via Our LOL Builder
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The Lady of Broccolishireham
And do it nao!
Ok then. No conga rats for meh.
Guess I donut get any since Iz nawt part of the sewing circle.
Oh, all rite…*reluctantly brings out da conga rats*
Blah blah blah…danse danse danse. *misses da cween already*
Here is some broccoli cheese soup to start da sillibrations!
*runsawayquickly* *snerk*
Sawwee teh cween iz awn baykayshunz. Hur iz teh wun dat waeks teh conga ratz up.
* bangs awn teh rat haws wif teh stikk *
Okai ratz!! Teh cween be awn baykayshun Nawt U!!
* the ratz filol aowt uf teh haws in teh toi sojur uniformz. *
* Dansdansswirltippeetoekik
Dansdansdanstwirleekik
dansdansdanskik*
Fankies PJ and WRR. Dat wuz berry nyce of yew to wake the conga rats for meeeh.
Ohai WRR! U muss b liek Jenny-Any-Dots — U keap awl da kritterz in oardur (mys, kokrowchiz, beatlolz, ratz, et-setteruh, et-setteruh, et-setteruh)
Aw, Lolecks, I can’t do conga-rats like cweenmj (she be on a trip to Germany) or cheezburgrr, but I wish you conga-rats and suchlike for your nawt-second!
send owt teh mambo myce! (cues up Tito Puente, Perez Prado and awld Desi Arnaz moozik)
Mambo mice FTW! Perez Prado, the *real* King of Mambo….
Ohai Lolecks! Aisle send in teh dancing rats for u! Ur inna free way braid wif nightshade and carosue! Happitail dansing all around! *Cattails extends floofy paw uf cheesfrendship* Welcome n pleezed to meetcha!
U can has tu bebbeh otters and tu ‘quirrels tu dans dans fur u.
Dey is naemd Jorj, Jorj, Jorj, and Liddol Jorj.
Fankies KJ, Cattails and Ratti. Yew all bez ossim.
Cattails, the plezure is all mynes! *Extendz floofypaw back*
Rattipuss- I lovez de bebeh otters!
Dey is berry happie tu dans dans fur u!
Conga ratz an mai polojeez tiw aww cheezpeepz hoo didin get der conga ratz awn LOLz.Ai mayt nawt git awn fer fyoo dayz,studehin fer midternz.
dubblol treet:
\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>\(_C’>
……………….___
………….__/o’V'o\__
………__/o.\..:../.o\__
………/o.`…\.:./…’.o\
…….\……..’. /”\ .’……./_
….. /o.`-._..’\v/’.._.-`.o\
…….\_……`-./.\.-`….._/
… /o.“—._/…\_.—”.o\
\_________\…/_________/
……………….’\_/’
…………….. _|_|_
Gud luck on dose midterms! I remembrs them nawt so fondlee from mah school daze. I’z sending intlle…itenll…smartee beams your way. (nawt dat you needs dem. youze plenty smart.)
No whirries cheese! Good lucks wif da yucky midtermz!
Ohai!
Dat musst hab been verreh disappointamagating wen u gotted a nawt sekund and no conga rats appeered.
I donut noe nuffin bowt enny sewing surculls, butt how bowts a CongaDonk?
*throws on tappy an golden shoos and begins popdonking arown teh room* Moosic pleez?
Onlee moosic I gots rite now is “Feliz Navidad.” Is nawt a bad song, jus annoyin after a millionbazillion times. I fink I gots some decent dancin moosic someplace….(digs around in rekord collekshun)
juss nawt Santa Baby, plz. kthx.
*meks retchy noizes*
*ahem*
It culd bii worse!
*runsawaywifakwikness*
OMCC!!!
*jumps into nativeca66′s arms and gibs a hyooj schmoo*
Dat’s WUNNURMUSS!! I LUBS it!!!! How thotty an adoarubbull ub u!
I gonna sendz it too mah bestest frend idansdansdans…i noe she will lubs it too.
/ps….sorry, butt…
…dere WUZ wun tiny problem. Dere wuz a Mafia @#$% brassurr frassurr hoo suddenlee appeered on teh videeo. i noe hee diddun beelong dere so i hoofed his heiny too annuddur solar system. hope u doanmind. kthnx! 
Furgitabowtit!
*schmoo*
… anda pony.
…an plz to maek it snappee!
Kitteh is going to eet a whole pony? Or ar they going to watch disney moovees?
Ponys iz frendz — nawt fuds! Kitteh wants to play wif teh pony! Watchin Disney moovees kud certainly be an opshun.
hooman! fetch some fresh alfalfa hay and rolled oats for my hoofed friend. And apples! cored and sliced into quarters.
*gigglol*
Ai iz eetin an applol rite nao!
but teh Diznee moveez luks suspishously like front-looding washr.
Naw, we awlriddee tawkt bowt dat — frunt-lowdin washur is teh beddurer dan Dizzy-Knee…
Conga rats tew yew for da brayd!
Fankies, Lolecks — rite back atcha … an carosue, too!
an a cheezburger!
Ohai! Congrats on yer nawt sekkund brayd wif meh and NS! The congarats are on their way tew yew as we speakify!
Iz tru. We three haz neber had a brayd before! We mus appreciate dis rare an unique moment!
Adn sum popcorms!
an chips
dis not the rite soda, go get me some Dr Peppah
and would it hurt you to put some ice in it?
Jeez I hasta tell ya ebryfing
Yew shur yew doan want uh beer yor lordship?
And quit scritchin” yorself kitteh.
*puts kitteh’s stained T-shirt in lawndry*
Kitteh wud do himz Al Bundy impreshun, butt himz nawt warin enny pantz.
himz a superior being, he no needs pants, himz has a byootiful coat
nah no beer today, I has to wurk tomorrow
but some toona would be nice
*eyes two-kittehs wif uh suspishun*
Kitteh’s nawt wurk!
Unless yew cawl layin’ in the sun wurk.
In fact, in Soviet Russia, and eberywhere else,
kittehs wurk yew!
Ohai, NC!
Did yoo see my importint messidj abowt flannlol awn teh prevyus lol? I kno how u feel abowt flannlol pee-jays, so it mite be of innerest to ya.
**shakes hed in confyooshun**
Wut IZZIT wif men an dere clothes fetishes? You an flannlol pee-jays, Dan an bloomurs….
… an wut iz wif luvvin teh shooz dat wimminz kint walk arownd saeflee in? If ai hasta hang onto furniture to keep frum borkin mah anklols, teh shooz iz too darn high.
NS’s huzbin lyks ohai heelz!
Heerz sum REELEE ohai shooz:
I LUBS dat moovie!
Iz the hunter in us.
Hobbled prey iz mush easier tew ketch.
U muss nawt b teh dewin it rite, den, NC — if deyz runnin awai frum U, dey nawt b teh wontin U inna nawt-sekkund plais…
.
U gotz 2 loore dem in… Givvem da rite bayt n U nawt hafta hunt — iz moar liek teh FISHIN…
Now I’m moar confyoozd. I thot guies lyk teh hunt! Insted dey pozed to be fishin?
**holds hed witch iz now throbbin**
Tew each hiz own.
Personally, ai liek the thrill ob the chase.
Baitin’ iz wut GF duz tew meh nao.
I finksew datz da rong kynda baytin…
Yor tellin’ meh!
[resists teh urge tew make a reference tew a TFSF]
[heds tew NB N-E-way]
FWIW, I nawt b teh liekin dem stillet… stilt… shooz wif da tawl, poyntee heelz onnem… Mai XYL haz sum sintsibble purdee green sandlez wif liddlol jemz onnem, n herz lukz teh GRRRRRRRRATE! innem (wif polly-jeez 2 Tony teh Tigger)
Erotic Crocs? – Hoo knew?
Dat kompany made ebery kinda shoo.
But, ai mostly fot dey wuz sayin’ shoo, shoo, go away.
FWIW, ai fink wimminz liek teh hunt tew.
Udderwise, why wuld dey put teh trophy parts awn display wif devices liek teh brawzeer?
Remember tew send yor letters tew:
malechauvinistpig@ncizzacardcarryingmember.com
Ugh. Wif you dere on the tall ouchie inducing shooz. I likes my floofy bunneh slipprz.
Ai iz awn my crackberry,
sew ai didn go tew N-E-udder lolz.
*runz awf tew luk*
Flannlol PJs – want!
I haz awn my flannlol pee-jay pantz rite now.
Dey iz dark bloo wif blak-an-whyte kittehs awn dem.
*swoons*
*whispers weakly*
There iz method tew owr madness.
JESS pantz?
I dunno U shood b taylin dat stufz 2 NC66…………
Nope, nawt JESS pantz! I gots awn a t-shurt too.
Nawt wanna skeer teh kittehs….oar ennywun eles.
**iz almoast askeerd to axk, butt curyositee gets teh best of hur**
Aahz – duz yoo has teh clothez fetishes too?
*faints*
Nawt reelee … I hazza fetish 4 mai XYL … (az it shood b…
)
Wat? Oh, I thought I herd my name nemshund. Nebbermind.
Dat’s cool, Aahz.
I’m jes tryin to figger teh male of teh speshees owt.
Not doin so grate, akshully.
PJ, wud u halps me wayk up NC? Himz faynted.
Uh wyz man wuntz sedded, “Win uh man’z fynullee aybull to reed uh wooman liek uh buk, himz 2 oald 2 kullekt uh lyberree.” Da saym mite werkz da uvver way rownd, don’cha finksew?
Maybeh him needz tikklols….
Aahz – Prolly.
Yoo menz be teh confyoozin.
PJ – Ware shud wii tikklol him? Oar, shud u tikklol him an I frow wadder awn him?
U kood fling uh pi at himz…
WAKE UP!!!! *Bangs pots and pans together*
Oh, n speekin uv minz n wimminz n kornfuzzlemintz, deyz uh grate buk U mite wanna reed kawlded “Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars” Iz teh sillee, butt (!) it reelee duz mayk teh sintz n haylpz uh lawt wif teh unnerstanninz…
mmmf mmmmm
*dreams of flannlol pj filled skies*
*hears thunder in the distance*
I reeded teh “Mars/Venus” buuk yeers ago. Mebbe I shud reed it agin?
*Whistles in Nc’s ear* WAKE UP!! *Tikklols tikklols tikklols*
Marz/Veenus iz teh okai ifn U wanna b teh nowin ware deyz kummin frum… Butt(!) ifn U wanna livz 2gevvur onna Erth (nawt Marz oar Veenus), U iz gunna hafta eevur tawk da saym layngwij, oar at leest b aybull 2 unnerstann watt eech uvver b teh saiyin… Datz Y I liek Clamz/Crowbarz
*pawnders woman in flannlol PJs and high heels*
*faints again*
And bring me some hands….wiffa posedable fums.
Pour kitteh haz noh armz!
Wi shuld haz a fun razur fur teh armliss kitteh.
Kitteh haz a lay-zee streek.
kitteh no needs to wurk, himz has a staff of two hairless pink monkehs
Him juss wanz to play on de drums all day.
I don’t wanna work
I wanna bang on the drum all day…
Linkee
Hmmm…hii gonna need at least wun arm foar dat.
Linkee And, ai yam owtie! G’nite cheezpeeps.
Goggies has ownurs.
Kittehs has teh staff.
How is your kitteh bosses?
Dey iz gud.
Dini remynded me erlyur dat dey nawt had teh crunchees.
human get us some gooshie fuds, NOW
Sarah got brushed last nite and LUBBED it! Hur floof is sew sawft an purtee now.
We do “brushins” in da summertime. On da balcony. “Who wantz brushins?”…is as effectibe as da cannopner souwnd.
Yeah, cause it’s hard to get any of those considering I have no arms.
And no fumbs!
Want teh cookies.
And, plz to add neck skritchies.
Bendy strawl!
Ah seds bendy strawl!
Ah haves tu tel u ebberfing???
Doan mayk me kunz in dere…
I nawt taylin U dis 2 heer maisef meow…
**tayks awf hedfones**
Wut? Did yoo say sumfin?
Hoominz n deyz lowd mew-zik… *tsk*tsk*tsk*
.
Win I wuzza kitteh, hoominz wood lissen 2 evvyfing I sedded n wood bend obber bakwerdz 2 dew ennyfing I wontid… Butt (!) 2dai? Noooo…
.
Hoominz havvit 2 eezee 2dai… Insted uv fillin mai waddurboal dailee n oapinin kanz uv gushifud 4 evvy meel liek dey yoosta, naow dey gitz dem otto-mattik feadurz n waddurerz sew dey kin sit rownd awn deyz sawft hynee liek dey oan da plais oar sumfin… N den dey wundur Y I nip dem onna aynklol…
Grampa? Iz dat yoo?
Yer football comes in my yard…I keepz it!!!
GIT AWF MY LAWN!!!!
*cough* Scyooz meh. Ai fink ai wuz channeling ol’ man Jenkins.
HOOMAN!
It’s not in lol speak
Hay! yoo furgotteded mai cheezburger!!
Huh? Wut?
Ai dreamed flannlol PJs wuz fawling frum the sky liek bombs.
*WEEEEeeeeeoooo, crash!*
And wuz splodin’ awl ober.
It wuz the moast wunnerful dream.
Kwik. Sumwun knock meh owt again.
Nahh, 2 daynjeruss…
Foar hoo? Mii oar teh flannlol wearerz?
Aww, cats sitting like people FTW
Who wuld liek tew giv my wurkity uh swift hoofin’?
BRB
Dey iz interuptin’ my lollin’ wif teh emeows.
Ai can only view wun fing at a time onna 1.5″ X 2″ crackberry screen.
Hay, ai yewzes ai crackberry too! Y yew nawt ablol tew reed emayos wen awn teh intarwebs? Crackberry browzer be pleh. Yewse Opera!
Ai yam yoozin’ mini-opera, but ai can’t hab bof awn teh screen at teh same tiem. Izza matter ob LCD real-estate.
Haz a pitee awn us old dufferz wif teh aging eyez– Ai tries to do useful stuffs wiff teh smart-foan screenz, but to readem, Ai needz to put a magnifyer awn teh pixure, adn tehn plug in a bigger keyboardz, adn set it onna stand on teh desk so it sitz still, adn… dang… here Ai am in 1985 again, aifinkso…
Doan dispair. 1985 wuz uh berry gud yeer. Almost az gud az 1984.
I bawt wunna doez square handheld magnifyers frum Rite-Aid, and wen ai yooz eet, ai feel liek Wall-E watchin’ “Out There” frum “Hello Dolly”.
Speekin of pee-jays, I gotta crawl in2 teh bed soon.
Mebbe I will has epifanee in my dreem regardin men.
‘Nite, frenz!
Happy hunting!
‘Nite, Red! Haz a nyse piffanee.
*si*
wihs meh lukk tumorrowz awn mai interview..
Gud lukk at teh interview, DK! Yu’ll nokkem dedd, aifinkso.
ai hoepz sew…
oh wellz, gud nite!
ohai peeps, jus chekkin in. hopes yoo awl had wundermus tanksgibbin day…will se back in a wile, am finkin ai got teh stinkin piggeh flu, wil be bedder soon, an missis yoo awl. schmoooz, an buy lotz ub teh han-sanitizer! ♥♥
*putz on mask* Ohai,sunny! Did you go to Dr Tiny Flu? I hopez da troll iz ok…seemz it mite be badder or um.. werser fer him..
him got hims shot much before me, an jus haz teh cold taht’s goin around, i got a shot a few weeks ago, so am havin a “abreviated vershun” but iz still bad enuff. will be bedder soon, ai promise! teh baron’s callin me to teh bed, an ai hazta go, but jus wanted to say hi to awl, an ai missies yoo! sweet dreemz and happy kittehs to awl! nyte.
Nigh nigh! *fros comfy blanky on sunny* *floofs pillows*
Does this cat have arms?
no!
this is why he needs remote assistance and bendy straw.
Armless cat is armless.
And didja see the one before this? He had no head.