If you close it

If you close it they will come.
knock knock. anywun home? (ICHC video)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Fauxpaws via Advanced Lol Builder
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If you close it they will come.
knock knock. anywun home? (ICHC video)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Fauxpaws via Advanced Lol Builder
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
opin teh doar. weer hungree !
Pleeze !! Snobawl haz fayntid !! Fuuuud ! Wi nede, wi wont FUUDD !!
O PB, wotch doowin heer awl on yur own?
Heer, ai bring sum sordid noms to shayre, horses doovers, adn nibblols, cheezy puffs adn tater cheeps.
I bring sum sorde wynes too – wot’ll yu habz?
* Taiks hoar doova. Ai cud eet a horse rite nao !! *
Ohai MMM. Ai wuz finkin of ionning.. jus finkin !!
Juss cawfee foar mi, plzthx !!
Cheese !!
*Paks up 3 YNG
guysgirlls to send to PB furr doing teh ioning*Hoap tihs will help wile yur drink teh cawfee adn noms teh horsis!
G Fnks, MMM !!
BTW, ar u stil wurkin foar wirld peas ?? Oar taiken ober teh woyld.
Tommora ai startz a misshun furr three weekweekweeks, hoap ai’ll hab sum tyme to drawp bai to see yu guise wen ai’m in teh offiss.
Gud nyuuz !! Hoap yu doan nede purr mission tu paws a wiel !!
Teh purr missshun, ai tayks it
ohai minimimsmum!!! (kinda fun tai ping awl thez “m”s!!)
Where ar yoo going???
Ai wuz just thinking ov whirrrld peas. Ai hav bags an bags ov frozed pease in mai freezur – frum a lokal farmer – an luk how powerful pease ar!!
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peas will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
LOL!! Hooo NOOOOOOOOO??????
I hope dey are creamed peas.
O JCH4K, dis is moast rood ov mii nawt replyifying to yur kweschun. Well ai iz juss going to be wurking furr teh Yoonyted Nashuns in Gineba, so ai’z nawt really shure hao much ai reely do twards teh whirled peas, butt mebbee ebbery lidlol halps!
Heerz a gud wai tu wayst tiem herden a cat !! Enjoi !!
dat wuz ufny!
Let us in naowwwwooowwwwwmeeooooooooowwwwww!
Wots teh parzwird, plzthx ??
Parzwird?? Yu need us to gib yu a parzwird?
*general consultashunz*
Ennewun knowing teh parzwird? Fluffeh du yu knoes it? Oar yu Snobawl – errrr, Snobawl, yu ok down tehre?
“The significant owl hoots in the night.”
“Yet many grey lords go sadly to the masterless men.”
“Hooray, horray for the spinster’s sister’s daughter.”
“To the axeman, all supplicants are the same height.”
“Yet verily, the rose is within the thorn.”
“The good mother makes bean soup for the errant boy.”
“What?”
“The good mother makes bean soup for the errant boy.”
“Are you sure the ill-built tower doesn’t tremble mightily at a butterfly’s passage?”
“Nope. Bean soup it is. I’m sorry.”
“What about the cagéd whale?”
“What about it?”
“It should know nothing of the mighty deeps, if you must know.”
“Oh, the cagéd whale. You want the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night. Three doors down.”
*from Guards, Guards one of my many faborit TP novels*
Yew may enttuh, az lawng az yew bean soupervized !!
* PB finks : Ai mussed start tu rede teh Disc Wirld bukes wun dai .. *
Yes!! Yes, yoo shud! Ai mice elf am just starting. An they ar kwite wunderful.
But – yoo shud – so EBREEWUN sez – start wif teh beginning ov teh sereez. Yoo can reed tehm ou ov order – so far ai hav – but az soon az ai can, ai’m startting frum teh beginning. Much moar fun, tehy say – becuz otter wize, yoo miss too mennee ov teh refs.
ohai Janet! ai agrees – dere r menney refs dat yu miss ifn yu reed dem owt uf order, butt (!) ai has nown peeps whu didnt lyk teh erly wuns adn wus putt off frm teh rest…ai personalley fink dey tayk a few tu reely warm up, sew aidonutfinkso its sew terriblol tu reed dem owt uf order
Yesh, ai agreez wif Gizmo. Teh nawt sekkond buuk was guud but wuz affer taht teh seeries reely taiks awf. An iz best tew reed dem in order iffen pawsible, menne karakters appeer frum buuk tew buuk an dey chainge an gro as teh seeries progressis (Sam Vimes, fur an eggsample).
an teh wiches, aifinkso dey ar mai fayvrit karakters! ai wantded tu call mai noo bc Esmerelda afta Granny Weatherwax, butt (!) mai boyfrend isnt much uf a TP fan
so we callded her Moxie insted
LOL!!! Moxie!!!
Teh wunz ai hav red ar “Teh Carpet Peeple” an”Thud,” which ov corse feechorred Sam Vines.
But – this iz eggactalee teh kind ov whimzikal riting taht ai just lurve. Ai revel in it. Ai feel laik a cat rolling around awn teh sunnee grass! Ai reed slolee, so ai dont miss enething. Awl the twists an terns ov teh langwidge – an teh funnee refs.
Ai awllso – just a fyoo munths ago – started to reed Neil Gaiman. Much different, ov corse – but – SOOOO intersting!
Ai hav herd uthers awlsay say teh wiches be teh favbrit characterz – an ai hav az yet to meet them.
Butt – JUST having found him, ai wuz SOOOOO SAD to lern he haz teh Alzheimerz! This iz just too, too crooel! Fur us, az well az fur him. Tho he iz still riting – an sez he will rite az long az he can.
Let us awl ask deer Ceiling Cat if he cant hurry up an halp teh sinetists find a cyoor fur this dredful diseeze that haz struk so menne wunderful peepl down way befaor tehy . . . an we. . . were reddee.
o yess, aifinkso CC wil heer uz, TP iz a GUD cat purrson! jus yu WAYT untills yu miets Greebo!! o ai envee yu hazzin moast of TP’s buks yett tu reed!
That’z hao ai feel! nawt that ai envee mee – but ai am so happee to hav found an author that ai reelee reelee laik – wif so menee menee buks ai get to reed. Happee hours ahead indeed!
Peepl heer hav bin tawking about DiscWhillld an TP fur a lawng taim – an wai ai dint pay tenshun, ai doo nawt noe! Becuz – fur teh moast part – awlmoast EBREEWUN heer seems to laik teh sayme kind ov buks.
aihopeso dat CC will heer us! TP has bene gibbin Alzheimerz sew much publisitee adn dat cann onlee be a gud fing – adn he has halped tu rayse lotss uf monees tu.
(Janet – we callded her Mozie cus she shur dus hav it – shes still teenytiny, butt (!) she be bossin arownd owr uffer two older kitteh alreddy!)
OOooooooo a TP thred! Ai ar hiz GRAYTIST fann, ai startud reedin his buks wen ai wuz nawt-sejund at yooun… uneee… kolligj, an dear wuz an ex-munk inn de attik hoo startid mee on dem (seeruslee!). Ai haz mett him, hee lieks mai hayr
pleez ebbrywun to reed his buks dey aear de BESST! (ai aer lukin tu bee Grany Wetherwacks in reel lief, hehehe).
Ohai JCH4K – ai sendid yu an eel mayle, hoap yu gotzed itt, an ai ar juss nau ritin a noo blogg entree – yestirdai ai had tu sing scaerdist tiem EVUR – a reehursul, ai am cubberin dis roal butt(!) dey oanly askd fuor days aggo, an dey asrkt me attt NOOOOO noatiss tu sing de HARDIST paert ov de operrera, coald, an dis direktur be wurld-faymus an probllee bess kontakt in de wurld fur mai Jurman operrreara voyss!!! BOI did ai needz a glars of whine last niet!! LOL. Ai rayz mai glars to yu orl!
But what – WAHT did yoo sing???? An hao did it go???
Ai’ll bet yoo were kiwte wunderful! An hoo iz teh direktor???
Infurrmashuns, ai wantz them!!! Moar, moar!!
Wai wuz teh munk in teh attik??
An ai think yoo hav GRRRRRAAYTE hare!!
Awn hiz webbee site – wich is reelee well dun, there iz a list ov teh charakterz, an teh buks they are in – so ai can hardlee WAYTE to get to teh wuns wif teh wiches.
Ai luv awl teh buuks but mai very favs r teh wuns wiff Death az a main karakter (Reaper Man, Hogfather, etc). Affer awl, whoo wudnt luv a 6 ft skelington whoo luvs kats, iz unhappee in hiz jawb an wants tew bee moar uv a ‘peeple purrson’
An ai havnt met Deth yet, eether. SOOO much to luk forward to!
Mai frend – teh wun below – iz much laik TP. Ai think. Ai told him wunz reeding TP reminded mee so much ov teh way hee thinks an speeks – an he sed – He wuzn’t so fond ov TP, becuz he awwaiz thinks – “Ai cudda sed that – but bedder.” An to tell yoo teh trooth, ai think he iz rite.
O deer JCH4K, ai doo hoap yur frend be fyn. Iff hee haz de swhyne floo, cud jus wont tu sliep, an nawt tayp at de compyutur? fingurs crost…
an ai singed sekkund harf uf akt 2 uf butirflaiy (wid flour dyoowett, arg) an de direkter, wel yu noes ware aim singin, iz on deir sight
de munk wur libbin in de attik. ob corss!! duznt ebbrywun haz munks in de attik?
An yes – ai did get it. Sorreee ai dint answer yet! Sumtaims. . . well – mai frend Jim, whom yoo may meet, akshoolee – awlwaiz sed – at leest just rite an say yoo got it! So ai awlwaiz do that wif him – an ai shud do it wif ebreewun.
Wun ov laif’s littlol lessons – so eezee to do – an yet. . . . ai fayle!
Rite nao, ai’m having a reel panik attak – a frend hoo nermallee ritez awlmoast ebree day – ai havn’t herd frum him in a week. An teh laszt taim ai herd, he had bin sik – maybee wif teh piggeh floo.
Ai think ai need to get a bag to breeve in!
An noe – ai cant cawl him. Oar ai wud!
Ut oh, ai hoap ur frend iz otay Janet!
Cahn u cawl sumwun neerby him tew chek awn him fer u?
anuvver frend er naybor mebbe?
*sniff* Thanks,bf! Grate inishuls. Best Frend! That’a hao ai offen think ov yoo!
Ai wish ai cud – itz a veerre complikayted sichooayshun – an no – he iz NAWT marreeed. Just in cayse enewun wuz thinking taht mite bee teh problim!
adn go, adn kum, adn go, adn kum. Butt if it iz open tehy will nawt bovver atall
LOL!! Sooooo trooo!
Aim abowt tu shut teh door foar anubber niet ! G’day/nite/arvo awl !!
ohai, pb! sleeeepee well!
Soopah styrdee Doar
reezistz Multee Kitteh Stayr
Daown kwyte eezillee!
Free Kitteh Stayr Daown
shoodz sendz Doar flyeengz awff itz
strawng, well oyld hinjezz!!
Nekkst step willz beez ‘T3h
infummuss Kitteh Skratch Ubz
DOOOOOM!’…. Dat nebbur faylz!!!
Oarz Kittehz coodz jusst
waytz 4 Hewmin 2 oapunn
rattzin’ frattzin’ Doar!!!!
Jack.
ZOMCC, awsum Jack!
Kitteh Skratch Ubz Doooooom!
Naow, iffen dis wuz mai baffruum door teh kittehs wud haz alreddy resortd tew teh paffetik ‘gropey pawz unner teh door ‘ ploy.
Ai fink dat iz awesum powum.
wow, just, wow
…. tha kitteh got 3 busness card but shi lost. .. .. ai sai “magic DOOM”…. … . ……. … …. . . … .. . . . ….. . . .. yess .. .. …….
Kittehs, hao mani tymz doez ai haz tu tell yu, der iz noh seekret ecksit outta teh baffrum.
Lemmie eeeeen!
kitttehs say DO NOT WANT closid doorz!
Ohh, sondz scary! I thinks Iz wetz meself!
Oh wowz!
Izn’t this da toof!!
Bathroom Buddy Kittehs donut liek bein left owt.
the original caption for this one was much better, although i have to give this one props for movie quotaions