witness protection

witness protection not working so well
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Clarksvegas via Our LOL Builder
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witness protection not working so well
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Clarksvegas via Our LOL Builder
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Ai can tell wich iz teh witniss
Deh witch iz deh witless???
Dey awl lukk preddy stoopie 2 me – dey iz awl burd braned
HAY! Nao ai hazza sad.
Ebbriwun noes dat parrots aer moar clebber dan teh abrij burd! Nawt so shore bowt parakeets tho!
{{{annipuss}}} Wyle dat iz tru, we shud nawt pik awn our less entalejt, entallygunt, untayledgent…um, nawt sew smart piers.
congarats anni!!!!!
Hooray…an brayde wiff yu, meh an peejay!!!
Adn mii!!!! i maded it intu deh nawt-sekkund minnit, tu!!!
Iz eben clebberer 2 commint awn a commint in teh nawt sekund minnit!
ohai yu deed……..dat wuz soopur phast……
zzzzzzzzzooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm…………………
ai deed nawt noe dem arvees cud goe dat kwik!
i finso wii shud going tu deh Ty Boot Eek! I b wanting a boblolhedded Turkey fur Fangz Gibbon!!
hai bud – yu frum roun hear?
Its not eezee, bein’ a stool pijun.
Juss triin to blend in.
dye jawb fail
butt et deed cobber da grai
**luus in mirror**
I finkso I need sum halp wif dat.
**poorz sum brite red RIT dye obur rhsb hed**
Yu has tu boyl dat fur it tu wurk oar putz ina wahs musheen wif hawt waddur.
BOYL my hed?
Oyewzrite grmawgs! **Putz larj potta waddur onna stobe** Dis shud fit? Yufinkso?
Yu mite has tu if yu wantz da rite culur. Ph yu be kerful yu nawt fawlz in. nawt in teh mude fur parut soop.
*Gits owt red sharpie,* Come heer red, I wurk next door tu a hair salon, I know wat I iz doin heer.
Rite, 3km, mai grampa wuz a barbur so ai noze hawo tu cut hare tu. Maik shur red nawt brevez da shrapie fyumez. she silly enuf awlrdy.
Wun uv deze fings iz nawt liek teh uvverz
Must ware moar mayk-up ifn u gonna blend in.
butt da laidee ced ai wuz an wintur……..nawt an sommur………
awwwwroight, who put bleach inna bird-bath?!
I gibbing u 5 burgerz, Dan!!
@@@@@
Dis iz ur commun tatur awn teh seen wif teh noos.
CT: Hoo putted teh bleech inna burd baf?
kItteh: Ai nawt care, unless it maeks teh burds tayst pleh
CT: Wai wud sumwun put teh bleech inna burd baf?
kitteh: mebbee Dem wants teh wite meet fur fangz gibbon
**luks sternlee at WRr**
Hai Ai jus axe teh kweschuns. U nawt liek teh ansur tawk tu teh kitteh. But mebbee wayt until aftur him haz sum noms. Aifinkso him haz teh hongree.
Ai wudfinkso rodentz wud syde wif foulz. Yu finkso yu iz souperer, supeerur, supperer…better, jist beecwaus yu had yur own consert?
**eers perk up**
Did sumwun say supper? Wat’s foar supper?
**chomps rhsb onna eer**
OW!
Iz alreddy got peersinz, fankyooberrymutch!
Yu need moore blush!
GMTA, 3km.
Smorgasbored foar BabyKitteh, mebbe?
Yep, ifinkso! What colorful porch I wuld have then huh?
Yah, awl dem purty wingz….
Oh, I shudder at teh thot!!
Mmmmm……wingz…..
Celery wiff bluecheeze?
an colorful feetherz!! Ewww!
Oh yesh!
Too bad dere’s no wing playse neerby…
**beek bonks rhsb, 3km, an pj perry**
Ohai, ph!
Ohai tu yu tu! **lukz sternlee at rhsb** Had inee WINGZ laytlee? Were dey yumlishus?
Nope, butt iz cravin dem now, fanks to 3km.
It nawt mii PH, I nawt kan kontrol da BabyKat uf myne!! {{PH}} I wuld nebber let her chase and nom yu tho!!
Ohai, ph! *Hedbonks* *Hedesk*
Fank yu 3kittymomma. Butt (!) yu shud teech dat BabyKat dat burdz iz frenz, nawt fuds!
Wat iz this “teach a kat” yu speak uf? I haz nebber seen dat done before, howebber, I will look intu dat concept!
Yesh, I hassa innerestid in dis consept too.
Kittehs iz lyk chilluns. Ifn dey get kwiet, u betta go chek awn dem, cuz dey be up to sumfin!
hey red!! Yu need another kitteh don’t yu?!?!? I know a lil tiny BC, dat wuz found abandoned on Halloween, an hyme needs a gud home. Watta yu think?
Nope. I haz my hanz full wif teh two I gots!
U nawt reddeye tu be teh ‘Krazee Kitteh Laydee’ yet red?
I finkso I’m alreddy dere.
* flipz fru KKL rool buuk, luuks at minnimum kwior mints *
Duz ai heer singings?
Nawt yet. U haz tu haz moar dan free kittehs inna haws tu kwalifie tu be teh Krazee Kitteh Laydee.
Fank yu Wwr, I wuz gitten worried bout myself, I iz 3km ya know. How menni kittehs tu qwalify fur da CCL? Hopeso iz nawt 4 kaus dere iz a lil baby BC dat needs new home…..
“moar dan three”???
u meanz dat JanetCanHas4Kittehz iz deh crazy cat ladee??
YAY fur JCH4K! Duz hur git a crown oar sumfing?
Shur, Dame janet can awlredy has a tarara. she can bez az krazi az she wntz . Ai wuz aksing abowt hur #5 yestday but wuz end ub dai nd nawt hurd bak abowt it.
High def tv iz nawt everyone’s frend
Iz wun uv dem parrothead??
{{{{{{cweenmj}}}}}}}} Ai iz glad SUMWUN memburs dere iz a burdee wif fealinz arown heer!
U haz fealinz? I thotso u had fevvers.
Go figger….
fillings? Does burdies has teef?
*Has a ponder*
Naw. maikz filingz wif bred crumz, selree nd umyumz. Iz a can ub bull in heer sum plais.
I lubs stuffed burds, mmm stuffing
**kon-ciderz cawlin hur fren teh hawk, oar purhapz teh eeglol, wif two_kitteh’s add-dress**
Whale, if ai DID hab fealinz, dey wud be hert.
U feline beddudr, 3km?
Nawt really. Dr. said to kall hyme iffin I wasn’t better in about 2 days, but I gonna gib it threw da weekend an sii what happens.
Sowwy to heer dat. {{{3km}}}
I’m in day 3 of battlolin a hedayk. Left werk erlee an layed arown awl afturnoon.
I wuz at wurk, awldai, an didn’t ebben git my nap!!! But boi iz at grandmas and Chikken man iz at wurks so I gonna lay awn da couch and rest. Maibii snuggle up wif myne cough medisin!!
Teh likwid gold stuff?
Tayk a snort foar me!
Ahh, yes, da likwid gold stuff, I haz been conserving it.
O teh kyootniss! **titenz CHRG** **addz dukky taype** Oyesh, it shud be noted dat DUKKY taype iz frum burdiez, an kittehs an odder creetshurz shud preeshayte our fine fedderd frenz. Burdeez iz frenz, nawt fud!
SPLORT!
Did someone say food? I has a hungree
*runz in wif teh CCC.
2K!!! Shame on u!!! u shud halping deh poor parrothead.
*Sweeping up deh braynez, sweep, sweep. Awl in a liddul pile.
*Scoopee, scoop, scoop dem awl up.
*Adn tukitee, tuk, tuk awla bird braynez bak in deh birddy hed.
*Pull on deh CHRG snugee, snug, snug.
*Rappitee, rap, rap wif deh dukkee tayp.
OK u lukking bedder awlreddy.
Now I just tuk u up in deh floofee blankee. sit and resting fur a bit.
Oopsee!! awlmost fergotted!!!
heerz a chokklit possum, a cuttlolbone & a nice hot cuppa tee.
I can has brains?
delishus and nootrishus
:kittehs licks her whiskas
NO!! Baaad kitteh!!!!!
Nawt tu eet teh frens braynes!
* hedbats 2K *
U haz a hongree haz sum sammuns
* hands 2K teh gushifud can adn teh can opunnur *
mmm salmon…
I bettah goes an makes meself sum dindin
* Sweep sweep sweep Sweeps up teh rain bow cullured braynes.
Rinsing dem wif cullur sayf bleech waddur
carefully pak dem intu teh braynium.
Put teh bonez bak where dem belongs
rap wif dukky tayp wdoi uf kittehs nawt nomming burdees
Add teh chrg.
Handz teh PH teh chokklit margajereeta adn teh rasp berri filled chokklit possum
Wrap inna floofee blankee, leed tu teh swooniing cowch*
Haz a relax nawt tu luk at LoL wiffout teh purr teck shuns.
**liffz hed weekly**
A dubblol reskyew! Fank yu guise!
**nibblolz awn yumlishus treets, shnugglolz down in floofy blankees**
**liffs hed weekly agin, lukz sternlee at two-kittehs**
**pekks cuddlolbone feercelee wyle finking ov 2k’s hedbone**
**eetz chokklit an deecydes tu be nycer. Tumorrow*
**nods**
Frenz, I need to go to teh gas stayshun up teh street.
Ifn I go in wat I’m warin (purplol swetpantz, gray swetshurt wif green t-shurt stikkin owt, an howse-shooz), will I skayre eberywun?
Tuck in da t-shurt and put on some sneekerz. Shud b gud enough.
how duz Ur hare look?
Iz kleen….
**fingur comz hares an pullz bak in2 ponytayle**
**shaykez hed**
Yu be fine! Berry culurful! Yewz nawt want tu be frenz wif peepz dat go tu local gas stayshun, anywaiz, rite?
Wait, wut?
Jist kiddin! Ai gibbed up a lawng time ago keerin wut peepz fink, lawng az my pry-bit partz iz cubbered, an teh cween iz nawt eggspecktid, ai jist go.
Ifinkso I haz seen yu at da lokal WallE!!
But u wud dressing up if I b cumming??
*haz a happy!
Oyesh yur madjistee! An I wud bayke a cayke! Yur faybrit kind, wiff awl the odder fingz yu lyk tu! Pleez tu gib me a liddlol notise? Heck, ai mite eben cleen teh howse! **pondurs**
Runz tu Cheezpeepz map tu see wair deh parrothed b.
*Wabingz floofy pawz tu deh eest.
oh hai dere!!!
**wabingz soufwedst** Ohai cween! Yewz wahlecom inee tyme! Ai will defnitlee mayke yu a cayke, can nawt prawmiss teh cleen hawse! Butt (!) can prawmiss fun fun fun!! Du come an bisit!
Caik? yu sed caik? ai be dere rite awaiz. Trippul chonklit plzthx.
Nope! Yu’ll luk FABULOUS!! Just don’t change intu da purple sweatshirt!! Pleez!
Barnee…
**luuks at 2_k wif a sturn**
does U purrfurr Tinkeh Winkeh instead?
**pikshurz red az tinkeh winkeh**
**fawls awf purch laffin**
I b savin my purpol sweatz fer a more formal occasion. I’m thinkin fangs gibbonz.
Stai in da kar! oar maibe yu nedez a kote? iz cowld? Du dey noze yu? wil yu ebur se dem agen? dis iz hawo yu noze wut tu wair.
Kannawt stay in car, gotta go in an buy stuffs.
Sounds OK, jus change into street shooz..
Is bettah dan one of students who used to show up in jammies wid duckies for Math Class..
Yu nawt haz dress code at yur skool? Myne sons middle skool haz purty strict dress code fur a public skool.
No dress code at the Universiteh
Oh, nebber mynd!
Ai lyke yu, grmawgs! Kotez kin cubber a mullteetewd, multatewd, maltbalstweed…um, a lot, ov seenz! **wispurz** speshulle doze daze dat nawt reekwire unnergarmints.
Yu nawt wairz unnurgarmintz? oooohoooooh oooooh Gud fur yu if yu du nawt nedez da orfo pee dik unnurwairz. ai wud hab da bruze neez. nawt a pritty pickshur.
Deep-ends. Whut cullur is dem howse-shooz?
Dey iz teh Wikked Good clogz by LLBean, akshully. Medyum brown swayd wif sheerling liningz.
demz is good slippahs! I has Bean slippahs 2 but dey is not wicked good, but dey is red!
Dis be my sekkund pare of Wikked Good (iz wut dey cawl dem) clogz.
Teh nawt-sekkund wuns wared owt, butt lasted ovur 4 yeers!
I kno I nawt be kwite teh site az I saw at teh mawl last week-en.
A boi in himz mid-to-layt teenz (?) wuz dressed in goth clothz, blak hare, an BRITE PINK FUZZY HOWSE-SHOOZ!
Alrite, I’m goin befoar I get too layzee.
BBL.
OMCC! Ai hadda tayke teh liddlol kawlidge gurl-parruthed tu kort kuz ov hur findur bindur, an we wind shawppin speshulee fur ‘kort klose.” Yu nose, bizzeniss tipe klose, ov witch hur had nun. SEW, we gottid a specktabull owtfeet, an gottid tu kort, an dere wuz kidz dere wif (no lye) pajamee pantz an huudeez awn! An dey gawt in furnt ov teh juge, an wur lyk “uh huh.” Ai wuz imbear-assed fur dem!
Dat liddlol kawlidge gurl-parruthed sur wuz lukky 2 hav u tayke hur shawppin. Obbissly, udders not so lukky!
Dat boi iz stylin.
Ohai ebrywun!! iz teim fur meh tu goe hoam
wil sea yu awn mundain!!
schmooes ..
**schmooes willy boy** Habba gud week week week ind!
Godda get mai suppur awnna tablol. Mebbeh ai sea yu laydur, frenz! If nawt, habba gud nite, frenz!
Dere eyez…dey skare me. 0.0 Dunno why. Prettee burdz but…doze eyez…*shudder*
Kind of like when Big Bird moved in with the Dodos in Follow That Bird.