Are you reeeeely
Are you reeeeely sure it’s dead?
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: kaeaea via Advanced Lol Builder
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Network Blog
Ur nawt alive aniway!
U gotted teh rong wun!!!
Ai wanted teh bloo maus wif teh red tayle!!
Oh, teh hyoomanitee!!!
Er teh hyoomausity, eh?
Stai wel awai frum teh orinj wunz coz tehy iz teh poyzun, yu kno !!
Ding Dong teh Maus izz ded…which old maus, teh Wikked Maus (naught “ebil maus”!). Ding DOng teh wikked maus is ded!
Coroner snaps down scroll and sez the maus iz not only meerly ded but reely most sinceerly ded.
Nomz it. Seez if it ded r nawt.
Ohai, Darrkwolff! lawng thyme NC! hause teh weddink plans goink?
Weddink plans??? Nao ai KNOW ai hav mist sumthing!!
Hewwo Kitkay ‘n JCH4K! Dah planninz wif mah lubberly feeyahnsay iz goin grate, akshully! We haz teh kayt–krayt–teh nomz maiker, teh church, teh pastur, hurz dress, mah tux, teh ringz, teh caek (mmmm…caek), teh flawurz, teh inbitashunz, teh dishuz fur teh weddin nomz, dekrashuns.
But moast importunt….we haz a luv! ^_^
yeay, yeay, yay, w00t, w00t, w00t, elebendee X elebendee @@@@@@@@!!!!
Hay, wolfee, dew yoo libb in Tecksus? Ai dont fink yore on teh cheezpeepz mapp–howl ’bout yew B kontacting die Knoenigen and B gibbing hurs yore infos?
wii knot has minny cheezpeeps in OK, butt maybee wecanhascheezmeet in Dallus sumthyme? Iz onlee free ourers souff ob mii….
oops, spewweng errer: mina KÖnigin…
Sounds laik this wedding iz awl reddy to go!
Wehn iz it going to be?? An yoo ar rite – yoo awlso hav the moast impawtent thing. Luv may nawt be awl yoo need, but it IZ bai far teh wun thing yoo MUST hav!
An ai wish yoo ebree happiness in teh whirrrld! {{{{{{Darrkwolff}}}}}}
Aww, Darrkwolff, congrats to yoo! Yor planz sownz wunnerful. If yoo haz a troo luv, menneh of teh uther things will fall in lyne.
I wish yoo and yor lubberly feeyahnsay a “happily ever after.”
may i present… the conga rats! (rats form conga line)
O ratzs! eye gotts 2 goe now. Pleez 2 B titaning yore CCRB’s now, sport danjer ahed! Bye {{{{{{cheezfrens}}}}}}}
Woo-Hoo! Teh Conga Ratz!
Konga Konga Kon-Ga!
Konga Konga Kon-Ga!
I has teh milkshakes blended wif teh fun-size Hallowe’en leftover kandees to go wif!
Yay! Sugar!
hay, dew yoo fink wii noes eech odder well enuff 4 yoo 2 caul mii Sugar???
It’s almeowst as big as he is….
Yes! Is ded! Ai kiwwed it!!
(I needs to gets me a bebeh kitteh.
)
Yes yu dew Dave! It will maykes yu feel happi!
Yes, yes yoo doo! Speshullee nao taht DrTinycat iz awl growed up nao.
Tehn yoo cud be DaveCanHasNOOTinyCat!
An Kittehlessjon shud get a kitteh, too! An he cud be . . .um. . .
Ene suggestchuns?? Enewun???
Abundantly Kittehed John
“Bekittehed”
Catful J
Dat Kitteh Guy John
E…
Ekwipt wif Kitteh J0hn
Fadder ob noo Tiny Cat
Gawts a kitteh J0hn
H…
hew-men pawned by too kittehz?
ittybittytinycatkommitty?
johncanhas2kittehz?
kittenzcanhasJohn?
LuvMeSumKittehsJon
MIne!TehKittehsArAwlBelongToMeJon
NowAiHasAKittehJon
O. . .
Out to find new kittehsJon
PlentyobtemoutderJon
QwicklygettzanorphanJon!
R. . .
ReskyewKittehJon (nuthin sez luv lyke a kitteh frum teh shelter!)
SoManyKittehsSoLiddelTimeJon
TaykTwoTheyrSmawlJon
UnderMowntinsOfFloofIsJon
VerrehVerrehHappehKittehfulJon
WunMoarJustWunMoarPleezJon
XtraLarjKittehsPleezJon
YusetaHavJustWunNaoIHasElebentyKittehsJon
ZacklyWhutINeededWuzMoarKittehsJon
Ta DAAAAAAHH!!!
Grate job ov finishing teh Liszt, Gremlin! Nao we just needs to maek shiur kljon seez it!
ai pur seev yu can has a nu wun? ai jus trunz mai bak fur wun minut nd awl kinez ub fingz hapunz. {{{{{{Dame Janet}}}}}}
Ohai, grmawgs!
Akshoolee, ai’m just kitteh sitting. An itz going bedder than ai thot. Just five moar daiz an ai’ll be bak to “just” 4 again.
NOTkittehlessjon? KittehHASjon?
Gud wuns!!
KittehlessNoMoarJon haz a nice ring, too! Ai think.
hmm, dey muss B taystee…
Well, I did just buy a house, so the possibility exists. Haven’t moved in yet, so that stuff kinda comes first, no?
And I’m flattered by being the subject of an alphabet run. Thanks for cheering me up, Janet and all!
Ohai, KittehlessJon. A gnu haus! Yay! Git moved in kwik and then mebbe yoo kin has a kitteh? Or two? If yoo doo, will yoo pleez coem bak and tell us? I seez yor naym and it always maykings me sad – no kittehs! A haus withowt a kitteh is nawt a hoem, IMHO.
Then agin, ay onlee has wun kitteh mahself (huzbing sez just wun, pleezthx) but aym in training to becoem a krayzee old kat laydee when I gitz older. 
Is a kareer aspiration, Ifinkso.
This iz a dere Jon letter!
Gremlin sez yoo just bowt a gnu haus. Cleerlee, this iz teh problim, az yoo SHUD hav bought a KITTEH haus. Butt – that iz eazilee fixed, becuz ene gnu hauz can be chanjed to a kitteh haus bai *poof* putting a kitteh in it!
An Jon, yoo ar a treshured old frend heer – purrhaps yoo weren’t aware ov that??? We ar awlwaiz so happee to see yoo.
itteh bitteh kitteh has a worry
No hope…… SPLORT!!!!!
I has teh not sekkond Aid – I can help?
**scrapescrape** teh gooey stuffs from teh floor
**rinserinse** teh brainz in teh refreshing green tea Gingerale
**stuffstuff** teh stuffing bak into headspace
**fitfit** teh bonses bak into playce
**wrapwrap** teh head wif gawze dipt in stinky healing salve
I put yu into teh rekkovery room wif no tv and no intertubes to rekover reading teh reader’s digest and drinking teh warm Ovalteen. I hope all’s betters.
Whew! tankyewverrymuch!
Ai feels betteh now!
littul pinkee nozes duz it ebery tyme…..
O Noes !! Luvscritters iz dwon !!
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
* sweep up Luvscritters’ branes an rinse dem wiv cleer solushun*
* pore dem inta a niec cleen funnil *
* pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
* fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
* tayp, tayp, tayp, tayppiti, tayp
* snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
* Leed Luvscritters to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a vegemite sammich*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
a dubbl reskew! tank yew!
ooh, hawt choklt! obaltine! yew can keep teh begemite sammich, aifinkso!
*gibb lc a Nootellah sammich insted*
oooooooooooo. Wook at dat fais. Hao sew pareshusssssssssssssssssPLORT
Paddles…… and clear……fump…..I am so sorry my little kitten it has passed to the next world.
If possible, it is in teh more colourful playce…
Awwwwww … so sorry to here it. Is u the 5 eagles from Failblog? But whoever u r, u’ve come to teh right place for kitteh adventures – the gud ones and the sad ones. All kittehs taht have gone before us now live in the Princess Mu meadow and play in the sunlight. We can go and visit, u noes.
If u want to know more about the Princess Mu meadow, click the link.
Yes it me from failblog I hope you don’t mind that I hang here for a bit. I went to the site or link LOL but I thought it was german or something. My lolspeakcat is not very good but I am willing to try. You people are so laid back here and it has a nice feeling like a kitten sitting in the window lieing in the sun.
OMCC no! We don’t care if you hang out forever! Indeed, you are welcome to stay here as long as you like! And don’t worry about the lolspeak. You don’t have to speak it – many of our most prominent commenters don’t – or at least, not always.
And what a beautiful way you described how it makes you feel to be here. That’s one reason we all love it here – besides that it is often VERY funny! And we’ve made such good friends here.
I’ve just fetched this from the Town Cryer. Since I wrote it, I’ll just take the privilege of translating it for you!
Over time, I wrote many of these, because I never could remember where the previous one was! But this is the one that ended up in the Town Cryer.
Cweenmj starts: Ths wonderful descripshun ov the meadow was writen for us by JanetCanHas4Kittehs. There is not a single word I could add or take away that wold make it any more perfect..
Dis wundermuz deskripshun uv deh medow wuz ritted fur us bai JanetCanHas4Kittehs. Dere not b a single wurd I kud add oar take away dat wud making it ennee moar perfect. — mj
Over by the Hed Splort Recovery Ward, there is an outdoor cafe where yoo can get awl (all) kinds of refreshing beverajes (beverages), tastee treets (tastey treats) and PARFAITS!
(Actually, the rest of it is written mostly in plain English, so I’m sure you’ll have no trouble reading it. Everything is just phonetic, so if you read aloud, it’s easy)
It looks out on the Princess Mu Meadow. The meadow is filled with
It luks out awn the Princess Mu Meadow. Teh meadow is filled wif
flowers and lots ov soft grassy spots. Teh sun is always shining (not too hot), the sky is deep bloo wif floofy whyte clouds, and gentle breezes ar wafting teh flower perfume ebreeware.
An – the meadow is majik. It is here that we come with ar kittehs and other furree frenz that we now carry only in ar harts. We opens up ar harts – they jumps out – an we can frolic an play wif them to ar hart’s content. Wehn we ar all tyred out, they jumps bak in an yoo can go bak to the cafe, enjoy a treet wif yur frenz an bask in the memree ov the happy frolic.
An, of course, you can come heer any time yoo wants to. Ai am verree offen heer.
Princess Mu sez:
heer is the poem and disscussion that started the idea ov the princessmu medow. Kathleen was the furst tew sugest the idea ov a medow. it’s a grate compliment to me that such a lovely plaece has a tiny thred ov me woven into it.
I luvz u but dis can nevr be
(The link to the original place didn’t copy over – but we can find it for you if you like.)
Oh, it is YOU! I didn’t recognize your avatar – you have changed it, and I haven’t been on failblog for some time. WELCOME! Of course we don’t mind if you hang with us for a bit. Even for a long bit. I managed to learn lolspeak within two or three weeks. True, it gave me headaches at first, but now I wouldn’t want to live with just plain English. Mind you, I love the English language, but lolspeak is so wonderfully uninhibited and creative, it’s very liberating. Feel free to use normal English here, nobody will think the worse of you for it.
Oh noes. Has yoo lost yor kitteh? Aym so sawree, 5 eagles! I will go to teh Meddow with yoo and we will sit and watch owr kittehs play, K?
{{{{5 eagles and kitten}}}
feer nawt cheezieepeeps
5 eagles wuz just giving da pour liddle mausie dat is in the picutre sum defibru..defibber..da heart shockee thing. pour liddle kitteh is naow sadder dat his maus freend is passed to da meadow.
tinee earz pinkie Noze! blue eyez! On Nooooooo SPLORT!
**scrapescrape** teh gooey stuffs from teh floor
**rinserinse** teh brainz in teh refreshing green tea Gingerale
**stuffstuff** teh stuffing bak into headspace
**fitfit** teh bonses bak into playce
**wrapwrap** teh head wif gawze dipt in stinky healing salve
I put yu into teh rekkovery room wif luvscritters adn wif no tv and no intertubes to rekover reading teh reader’s digest and drinking teh warm Ovalteen. I hope all’s betters.
Pore lilluh tynee bebbeh has a uncertain.
oh mai CC!!!
i arguez wif deh wifi and kursez it and kawlz it nasty namez!!!
Adn dem wen I finally git bak online……
TEW KEWT!!! SPLORT!!!!!!
O Noes !! the Cween iz dwon !!
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
* sweep up cweenmj’s branes an rinse dem wiv cleer solushun*
* pore dem inta a niec cleen funnil *
* pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
* fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
* tayp, tayp, tayp, tayppiti, tayp
* snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
* Leed Cweenmj to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a raspberry jam sammich* Unless yewd lyk Vegemite ??
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
*Perkz up.
Razzberry Jam?? YUM!!
Fankeez PB.. dis kitteh surprizinged mii!!
*peekz at kitteh agin
Oooo…. I feelz wooozy agin!
*layz bak down.
*gibbs cween a floofy blankee*
*gibbs hurr hurr krown*
Fankz fur deh crown, kitkay….. I b sew usefull in holding deh CHRG on!! bedder eben dan deh dukky taypz.
yore SEW welcuomes, meine Leejj!
Ai hassa certain…Ai iz certain dis kitteh is toooo kyoot!! Activatin’ mai JDS-
Jewel Defense System!!!
Break out teh CCC
*scoop, scoop, scoop cweenmj’s braynes*
*rinses wif teh sparkling waturs*
*wraps in dukkie tape*
*leads cweenmj tu teh recubbery lounge*
*gibs cweenmj a floofie cheezmapblankie and a chawklit martoonie wifa possum to nom*
Rest, yer majesty. Jewel and I will protectify yu!!
*putz krown own hurr hed ober teh CHRG 2 hold it titer*
oh, a dubblol resQ! Fankieez Jeremy.
Chokklit posssum and martoonee!!!!!
*sip, nom, sip, nom.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Bebbeh Kitteh nawtz
awayr ub Elebbentee
Lebbill ‘Sploart!z’ Allurt!
‘Sploart!’z Allurt cummz
frum Soopah Awwsumm Hy~Purr
Kewt Bebbeh Kitteh!!
Bebbeh Kitteh canz
cawz ‘Sploart!z awll bye hurz sellf.
Nawtz needz play Mowsee!!!
Jack.
uhhh – dis fing be almost bigger dan me. U sure iz okay?
*off topik*
Da norfwest is hasing its own “dark n stormy knight” tonite. Wii is habing lotsa rain and winds. Dis lasting clen thru da weekweekweekend. UGH.
Batten ur hatchez!!!!
U wantz teh conga ratz tu du teh batten twurleen wif teh hatchez?! U nawt skairt dem will kut sumfing awf?
no – ai frais dey will make it worser. Nawt want ene fluding round here.
ugh – make dat ai fraid
* Tu conga ratz in shinee armurall clunk slowlee awntu teh staj. Dem iz trying tu twirlee teh flamee hatchez wiffowt catcheen teh fiur oar kutting tayles awf. *
ruh roh – whatz dat ai smellz?
* berpp !! *
Sorreee ….
**runs away from monitor holding onto CHRG for dear life**
OMG. Teh Cyoot factor? Off teh charts!
.. …. … .. ….. … …. .. .. . .. . but.. .. ..uhm…sisi… … … ……. ………….
-… — — .–. -… — — .–. -.. . -.. — —
Morse for “TEEBEEDED” apparently …. ???
* mite hab mist sumfin in teh translayshen … *
hey guys im back and ill be on more =D
Ohai shadow! Good to has yu wiffus again!
Teh cyoot!!
Is sew ah-door-able!!
*Splorts and hits head on taybl*
Oh nose! Hold on, KKC!
Here comes the CCC, with sirens blaring and lights flasheding
*Sweeps up all the splorted braynes
*Rinses in room temperature fizzy water
*Gently, yet very thoroughly pax braynes bake into braynium cavity
*Places head bonez back into place
*Taypity taypity taypity with ducky tape wiv pictures of summer flaowaz on it
*Snaps on a fresh CHRG/wdoi
*Leads KKC to the splort recovery lounge
*Here’s a lovely little mimosa in a pretty glass. Enjoy!
*DO NOT look at teh kitteh until you feel stronger. K?
*Gibs KKC an ice bag fer hed hit on table*
*wakes up in teh recubbery lounge* Where iz AI? And why does I has a ice bag on me hed?
**Sees pic**
KITTEH DOWN!
*Splorts again*
This makes me want to toss my old kitty and get another.
;-O
butt butt butt – you can haz TWO kittehs!!
Yesh you can!!!
It’s just sleeping…. right?
yah…. tis sleeping
Um, it is just pine-ing for da feeyords!
*SSSPPPLLLOOORRRTTT*
O Noes !! honeycakerabbit iz dwon !!
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
* sweep up honeycakerabbit’s branes an rinse dem wiv cleer solushun*
* pore dem inta a niec cleen funnil *
* pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
* fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
* tayp, tayp, tayp, tayppiti, tayp
* snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
* Leed honeycakerabbit to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a honey sammich. Adn sum caek !!*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez. a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
oooh. fanku PB! Dis was my berry nawtsekkund splort. Nuffing cud have prevented it, ifinkso.
Teh noo CHRG, it b crumpling up ma eahrs…
*closes eyes firmly*
*takes off CHRG*
scissers, u gots them mebbe?
* Taikz scissurz frum CCC scissur dror *
Hear ewe ah, hcr !!
fanku!
*opens eyes*
*mutters to self*
must nawt luk at pikshure must nawt luk at pikshure must nawt luk at pikshure…
*carefully cuts teenytinylittlol holes in teh CHRC*
*puts on noo CHRG*
yep, that b muuuuuch bedderer!
*happily flaps ears*
it b prolly those littlol holes that makes them CHRG moar brakable… We shud ask Mr Beaker at sum point. Mebbe clebbur him has beddur idea!
*hands back teh scissors*
*sips chocklit*
hmmmmm delishus!
Tahts a gud ideer. Teh rubber glub facktree mai hab yor sighz foar nex tiem !!
cute kitteh
very cute kitteh
Aw, ish widdle.
Naah, soo cjut!
Iz okay, widdle wun. U don’ want de udder kynd of maus. Dis one much bettur. Nawt pleh wif nastees.
*cuddles and wispers* Or u can just go to sleep. U safe.