Pumpkin carving
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Here we go cheezpeeps!!! Don’t be shy, everyone can participate. The spelling and grammar police are at the donut shop so you don’t have to worry about that. There is no right or wrong way to do this. A couple of reminders:
Remember to number your post and refresh (F5) before you post. But don’t obsess over it. The purpose is to have fun! The thred will most likely bifurcate adn deh numberz will halp peeps noe wut stryline goez wair.
Each story takes on a life of its own. Some are funny, some scary, some turn out downright weird. And if this one doesn’t work, no worries. Oh, that reminds me, lolspeak is optional.
Without further a-doo…
1) It wuz a dark an stormee nite. Teh fyrewerks an teh Cheezland bonfyre wiv a fuglee troll effijee awn it wuz awl reddee 2 be lited to sillibrayte Gai Fawx’s Epic Fail, wen awl uv a suddin…..
2) A lowd skreem wuz herd kumming frum a neerby haus, wair, in teh window ..
3) a kitteh appeared, a wry smilol in the cornur of his mouf – eating the….
4) fyooze uv a large rokkit
5) Meanwhile, outside the house on teh road
6) teh crowd wuz gathring tu witnes teh anal festibitiez of fun nd ..
7) Suddenly, teh rokkit teh kitteh waz eeting launched, sending teh kitteh way way into teh sky, to land safely in a hooge pyle ob cheezburgers.
8.) o.O – I’m in heavun, fought the kitteh… Suddenleh a shrill voice came frum sumwhere… “u cant feed that tu kittehs – dey will dye of obeesety – ai noes dis, ai be a purrfershunoal legull airobeek instruktor!” – oh the huge mannatee!…
9. Kitteh grabbed a cheezburger and ran under a bush. There was a care-troll nearby and he needed to take care that ..
10. – befoar teh caret-troll cud carree awn fur mennee meenee commints. But luk!! Under teh bush there wuz a grate beeg club! He putz hiz burger down, pikked up teh club and . . . .
11. “Wack” !! The troll was knocked over for a six !! Kitteh was an instant hero(ine) and was famous for ever after.
12. but, unknowd to teh kitteh, teh ovver members ob teh care-troll tribe, all teh arobix intructors an legol profeshunals, wuz plotting ther revenjes. wun ebening, az teh kitteh wuz basking on himz/hurz (sumwun pikk a gender for teh kitteh, plz) plush-carpit-cuverd pedestal ob heroism, . . . .
13. a groop ov CTs – SEBEN ov them!! peeked in teh window an saw her there, awl cumfee an happee an sleeping!! She’d just nommed hur supper an wuz peas-full. So, huddling down togedder, tehy decided to. . . .
5) attached to teh basemint door of Burfday fairees factoree… The rockit was manufaktoored wif the left-obers frum the bakeree – the fyoose was of lick-oh-geesh, butt the…
7) rockit was real and full of gun power. Meanwhile,
Taht wus 8 … ???
:snikr: smileys taking ober the numbehs!!!
Heee heeeeee!!
LOL!!!
9) unload punkins and chocklits and bonbons and parfay and wafflols :drool: ….
10. ..and shamwows .. * hands one tu Nenne * to teh townspeople. Where had this van come from? Who was behind it? What wuz in those bonbons ??
11a) teh van clearly had come frum teh d’beaker laboratories. Apparently, Igor was behind the wheel. The bonbons smelled delishus … they were made of
12) cheeze… and burgers…. or wus it donut??? Dey were ebry flayvur bon bons! butt… Igor had “helped” Fleep wiff wun ob his beekers and the wuns who had eeted the bon bons started tu…
13. eat the choklit. Nao, everyone knows that if you eat too much chocolate you will feel ..
14. Happy an elated! noe more dark an stormee knights!! butt… these wur not ordinary chocklits… Igor had been “trying out” an noo recipee…
15 which was garlic filled chocklits. The garlic worked to didn’t leave you with bad breath, somehow, but worked to repel trolls. The more you ate, the more immune to trolls you would become.
16. until, throo teh natchural prosess ob survival ob teh trolliest, a breed ob garl ick- rezistant trols emurjed. “hmm,” thotted Igor, “wut if i try miksing in sum. . . “
8. back at the ranch, the squirlols had obtained a traktor.
9. The engine came to life with a roar, when the goggeh…
10. stud awn teh starta button. Wiv skwirilz steerin, it rolld owt of teh barn adn slowly thru teh farmyard towardz teh ..
11. haystack, where a gaggle of geese had congregated to discuss…
12. moving to canada befoar chrismess. Tehy scattered and the tractor continyood tu ..
13. roll along teh road, heading for teh crossroads where all traffic lights were red. This was because
13. A troll had crashd into teh control box. Teh fire engin was nao on itz wai, butt(!) wud teh stop or wud tehy go on ..
15. They stopped! Apparently, sumbuddy had swooned right in teh middle of the road! Surely
16. It wuz their lucky day az the tractor was still rolling and the skwirrelz cud nawt reach teh ..
16. It wuz Shirlee, hoo cud nawt taik awl tihs xsitemint! Sumbuddee caem ober tu…
17. brake pedal. In town, a fyreman bent over Shirley to take her pulse.
Shirley this wuz a dreem. Her pulse quickened and her head tilted up and she puckered her lips just as ..
19 (PB wuz 18!) a reelly gud-lukking fyreman arrived on teh scene. He said . . .
20. I can see you have been dreaming. You’ll have to move because there is a tractor heading this way and we have to get to town to ..
stop teh geese frum emigrating to Canada before it’s too late. And there’s a troll or two on the loose.
22. The fireman lifted Shirley off the road and carried her to the fire-truck. “You’ll have to come with us for some care and attention.”, he told her. She nearly fainted again but fastened her seatbelt instead. The truck sped off just as the tractor got to the lights. Which way would the tractor go?
23. Teh squirrels were still argueing about it when teh tractor engine started to sputter
24. “Putt putt putt,” it said. And suddenly teh skwirrls put it into o-hai gear! Teh traktor wuz owt of control agin! But wait! Suddenly, from owt of nowhere . . .
25. Mount Mc Kinley appeared and asked teh squirrels in a stern voice: Did u ever pass a driving test? The squirrels
26. thought of saying “Nuts !” but revved the tractor and followed in the distance behind the fire engine. They wanted to ..
27. be near the fyremenz becos experience had taught them that that was where the ackshun was. But hark!
28. The sound of singing and cheering could be heard. The fireworks were exploding and rockets filled the sky. It made it hard to ..
29. see where wun was going. And sure enough, teh skwirrels in their tractor bumped into
30. an otter vehicle going the otter way. Why enni otter vehicle would be in their way and why it was also full of otters was another question. It was only a glancing accident and they glanced at each otter and continued. They were ..
31. on the way to neggst LOL and didn’t want to arrive sekkund! So on they hurried.
Butt (!) it wuz a classik, so Anni had prolly alreddy ben nawt second on it a long tiem agog.
so they desided tehy shuld pikk anovver lifetime acheevemint gole besides habbing nawt-sekkunds on teh lol. “wut oh wut shuld we do wif owr lifes?” tehy (who’z tehy? i losted trakk
) wundered. tehn suddenly a vision ob Igor appeerd before tehm. it speeked. “wut yoo shuld doing wif yor lifes iz yoo shuld. . . .”
I prefer squash over pumpkins anyway
Wat abowt skwasht punkins?
2. Mr. Fox trotted by. “Mai naym is Buddy Fox, nawt Guy Fox. What to going on here?”
3)
There’s nuffing going on heer, no sir – just moove along, said the…
4) squirrel in teh poleece man’s uniform and waved its baton in a menacingly way. Suddenly…
5. an exploshen wuz herd nd teh sky lit up wiv colored ..
6. sparks and fireworks. Teh crowd oooohed and aaaaahed, but then a panic broke out because
7. A gostly figger cud be seen at teh edge ob teh town skwair. It had wun arm in a sling and ..
7) wun of the fyrewurks took the shape of a free-heddead TEE-ARR-OHH-ELL-ELL!!! Even the breff of the figure was trawleesh!! Behind the NB wun eggskaypt spesimen of that breed stood…
8 ) the burfday fairee with a trolly catchee fingy. Come hither, u troll! she shouted, getting ready to capchure teh creetchure. However,
Teh wind chaynjd direkshun an teh bonfyre flayrd up…
Teh free-headed TROLL lurched forward and
Blowd teh fyre bakk
11. (iffn ai counts correcktly). Teh burday fairy woz surprised – a fire-fighting troll? Could it be possible, she mused. Maybe
12) teh werk program wuz halpin 2 reform dem at lasst
12. Maybe, baby. It sounds crazy, but it just might work!
13) But still, a fire-fighting troll wud NEBBER EBBER be ablol to replace teh firemens. After all, the firemens
Haz had yeerz uv traynin an enniwai aer beddur lukkin!
15) So teh burfday fairy decided to capture teh ginormous troll and raised teh troll catchee fingy when all over sudden
16. Tehre wuz a gust ov wind an teh treoll…
17. caught a smell of roasting marshmallows. Puzzled, the troll started to
18) started to drooolll…. EWWW – the otters peed inda flannicks and scattered as the furst drops splashed on the ground…
18. runwifakwickness towards teh luberly smell wen suddenly…
19. parts of the fire were going out. Smoke rose and the stench of smoke and drool wafted over the crowd who ..
20. Began singing along to teh wurds of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.” But then, suddenly, teh mood of teh krowd turned dark. It was dark bekawz teh sun had gon down. And in teh distanz, a dark figger arrived on horsebak. Teh lone figger showted . . .
Ai can has cheezburger!!!! Teh crowd roared wif approval but
22. teh horse rider did nawt hear it. He headed for
23. Teh front row of peeps. “Halp!” showted a laydee in teh frunt. “Aym abowt to be run over by a horse!” But teh dark stranger suddenly stoppd teh horse. And he pikked up that laydee and pulled her up onto teh horse. Then teh lone dark horseman galloped toward teh . . .
But did he bringing enuff cheezeburgerz for all of us? the crowd wondurred. Because if he did nawt, then there would be
25. a queue and those on the end would ..
23. Naughty barn… “I need sum help” he said…
25. bedlam. It was grossly unfair that the horseman onlee picked up WUN lady, tehere being so many nice grrrls in cheezworld! But now
27. The queue and the crowd all started to follow the rider towards the naughty barn. Wot kind of halp wud teh rider need? Wos he a YNG who hadn’t lurned to iron yet?
28. The men were hoping he had some beer. Sure enough, there was a barrel that needed tapping and they soon had glasses of lager and even larger glasses of lager filled and passed around. No, he wasn’t a YNG after all. Now, where were we?
YEs! on the way to the Naughty Barn. But alas! All the lager had made the men very sleepy, so they never got as far as the naughty bar. That was a shame because
30. the ironing would have to wait. The girls all rush in and screamed loudly. A ..
31. gnu LOL was likely to appear any minute now and none of teh gurls wanted to miss it. Wot wif teh men having passed out teh chances of getting a nawt-sekkund had dubbled. But wud they beat Annipuss, her of teh kwik fingurs? Stay tooned!
Hulk Smash!
Aneeone remembur finishig moove of Crush?
Iz nawt fail! Is doez my wai! Hmmpphh.
Is not fail. Is art.
ooh – just smashing, old boy! just smashing!!!
。。。whaa a…… wat happen ?……?……..?……. … .. .. .. .. … ….. ….. …..
DUnno? Wot u mean? Above on the thread? We’re just doing a story or two.
I hope you can pardon the interruption – but does anyone know where cats can be rehomed in Birmingham, England? (Or can you recommend anywhere to ask). Due to a recent bereavement there are 3 cats needing a home.
I luve teh kitties (why I’m here), but I’m allergic to them so really don’t want to take them if possible. I’ve tried the Cats Protection League, Blue Cross and RSPCA so far – all full.
Oh dear. It’s nice of you to try and help. I’ve googled “animal shelter birmingham UK” and you get quite a list, among them h ttp://www.theanimalhouserescue.co.uk/
Good luck!
Hi Marky, if you go to h t t p ://www.catchat.org/adoption/mids.html (close up the gaps at the start of the address), there is a list of cat sanctuaries in the West Midlands. There are several RSPCA centres in the Midlands – have you tried them all? Good luck!
Carving fael. Craving win!
LOL
ohai peeps … great stories, can nawt stay, gotta run, but (!!!)
see up there, under the pololar bear picture, where there’s the linky to a previous lol? see it? it says “needz a lesson? i can halp.”
clickifiy on it.
go ahead.
trust me.
was this arranged? or just the bestest coincidence in history?
Fanks for teh link. AWWWW! Another dark and stormy night – hosted by ohahtahgoosiam! She died on October 1st this year. Rest in peace, Goosey, you are loved and rememberd in cheezwhirled.
yeah, and this wun is in her memory. which is why i wondered if it was arranged, or a coincidence. it’s great either way.
.
….. and why did my boldface not work? maybe it works now???
.. nawt tu wurri !! Jussd put awn a bold fais !!
* wot about a bald face ?? *
“Pumpkin carving: FAIL”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Oh, HELL no – YOU tell him!”
“Not me, man.”
Where does a 1000 lb polar bear fail?
anywhere he wants.
Twaz a dark adn stormy knight, but teh kitteh gave him sum mood stabilizers adn he recobered quickly.
ROFL!!!
*sigh* mabbeh teh knight recubbered from being dark and stormy, but don#t u noes ab00t the side effects of dem mood stabilizers? They kill off teh secks drive, among ovver fings.
Wut if kitteh wuz fixt?
Ai din’t noes teh kitteh was borked in the furst plaice!
Hairee godmudder baers tryeng to maek a carriage, iffink! Wen I saw dis Bibdee Bobdee Boo hopped into me head.
Bar smash!
Thx ebbriwun fur maekin dis werk. Ai wuz a bit dowtful wen nowun showd up fur teh nawt sekund 4 miniyts!
* adn awlso coz ai wuz finking ob mi nawt-sekkund openin lion …:wink: *
Thx Anni. It wuz teh fun !!
Yes! It was full of teh win and awsumness! Though ai didn’t get mush work done in teh meantime…
Did u guise notice that teh link under this lol that points to a related past lol points to one eggsactly one year ago, where Goosey is introducifying a DSN?
Kinda spooky, kinda sweet, that.
Yes, PdeB pointed it out above.
Oops, srry. Does that make me a t-r-oh-l-l?
Corse nawt! Juss sumwun hoo hazn’t tiem 2 reed awl throo teh thred!
This are strange looking kitteh, and it can’t be a polar bear cuz they’re all dead thanks to you, Al Gore said so, so it must be true.
Epic WINS all around. Congra rate, cheez peeps. You, polar bears, trolls and fyremans ROCK.
Pssst! Mr. Poller Bare, Failblog is a few tabs tew da rite. Yer on da rong payg!
…Plz not tew b eatin be.
Oops.
*takes last B out, puts it in her bonnet, and replaces it with an M.* There, that’s better.
Just wondering why the heck all these zoo animals keep showing up under the CATS tab??? Perhaps add a Misc Critter tab so we can keep it just to pussycats!! I’ve seen bears, ferrets, rabbits and squirrels in here…. not that they can’t be cute – but sometimes, only a cat cheers me up.
the pololar bare an otter critters come heer tu play – because this tab is for Lolcats an funneh pictures!!!
STN!
yeah … me, purrsonally, just sayin, ai thinkso the ratio of kittehs to otter animals is just about right …
999. and they lived happily ever after… the end…
No, it’s supposed to look like this. It looks scarier smushed.