AUNT BERTHA IZ HERE!
AUNT BERTHA IZ HERE! RUUUUUUUUN!!!!!
hoep she dint bring dose grandkidz again.
Picture by: jholster Caption by: Cani_Lupine via Our LOL Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
She haz her goggie!
Conga-rats to yoo, carosue! At teh tawp ov teh macrame! Woot woot!!!!
Oh Hai peepz!!!
Kin I plz hanging dis heer?
Plz tu not furgetting deh negst Dark adn Stormy Nite b Tumorrow!!! On deh 12am Cheeztiym lol!! It will b hosted bai nun uzzer dan ower deer Annipuss, fur which i b berry thankful, Kuz i not wanting tu git up at 4am tu dueing dat!!
12 am (midnight) ICHC =
… 3 am Pacific
… 4 am Mountain
… 5 am Central
… 6 am Eastern
… 11 am TTI
… 2 pm Sidney (next Day)
Ohai, mah cween!
Wuld yoo remynd meh which LOLs teh uther 2 Dark and Stormy Nites were on, that I misst? I wuld lyke to go bak and reed them . . .
Also, sum sad gnus that yoo prolly alreddy gno – did yoo hear that owr frend Goosey passt away in erlee Oktober? (Ifinks her cheez-nom wuz ohatagoosiam)
I herd it on teh cheezfrenz list. Ifinks Goosey wuz going to halp us organamize owr sekkund Dark and Stormy a while bak but sumthing IRL got in teh way . . .
Yes, i herded uf Goosy’z passing. wii doing deh Dark adn stormy nites in hur membree.
lessee, deh uzzerz wuz on Halloween at 12pm, and Oct 28 at 6 am.
I will finding deh linkeez fur u. BRB.
heerz wun
heerz tuther
Fankyoo. I will go reading them when I gitz a chants! Hao wunnerful that we duz these Dark and Stormy storehs in Goosey’s honor. I shuld hav gnown . . .
o.O – she gibs kittehs BAFFS!!!!
Oh deh Huge Manatee!!!!!!
It has beecum cleer: Ant Berfa muss go.
hers gunna grayb mii chekez adn pinsche adn kiss!!!
in dis case, “pinche”
*snickers evilly wiff mah spanish speekeeng peeps*
But Aunt Berfa maykes the bestest pies! Stay!!!!
ooooooo…… nommyz!!
*pullz up chair, tukz napkin in collar, pikz up fork,
*lukz up eggspeggtantlee
Ohai, my cween! You can haz apple pie madeded wif tart Norvern Spy applols, or cherry, or strawmberry rhubarb…or whutevver yu lykes best!
deesissunz, deesishunz! I lubz dem awl!! Kin I haz a smawl slice uv eech??? hot, wif a liddlol skoop uv deh Fronsh Banilla iec kreemz??
Fankeez….
*a YNG holds before teh cween a hyuge plate wif slices of awl pies, wif a mountaing of icy cream.*
*waits till Ant Berfa leaves teh room*
**trots arown teh corner an sinks big donkee teefs intoo pie**
***runs awai nomming happilee***
Hyde, gedowt uv teh howse!
And HIED~!
Izza fyve-way makurmay! YAY! We mus hab sum ov Ant Berffa’s pie! An kawfee! Lawts and lawts ov kawfee! An sum tee fur dose hoo nawt lykez cawfee. An sum caykes fur dose hoo nawt lykez pie! Naw lykes pie?
Pi? Yes, pleez! I can has applol cinnamon crumble pi, kthx? Warm, with a liddlol fronsch vanilly icy kreem on tawp. And a hawt kup of kawfee. Yay!!! Breffast of champyons!
**serbz gremlin sum pi an kawfee** Gud moarning gremlin! IRL ai mayked an applol cinaminaminom crumblol pi diz passed week-week-weekend! Ai bide applolz cuz dey lukked sew gud, an teh huzbing bide apploz cuz dy lukked sew gud, sew we haz lawtz of applols tu yewz!
Gud mornink, parrothead, mah cullurful birdy-frend! I finks I smellt yor applol cinnanomnomnom crumble pi awl teh way over teh Innertoobs! Is a gud tyme for applols – I livs rite neggst to an applol orchard!
our aplols are awl gone now… quite a few in our stomachs – a furthermore in frends stomachs – an rest in the corm poast…
4 aplol trees issa lot of applols for tu hoomans anna kitteh…
An aym betting teh kitteh duzzint eet menneh of those applols . . .
Kitteh looks at teh applol and sez: Is this a fud? This is nawt a fud!!!
Ant Berfa’s applol pies were bestest, and applols are in seezun now.
skwerrlgrll, haz yu got those skwirrlols fired up fur teh whippy cream?
they is always readdy!!
I wuz wundering, can yu trains teh skwrrlols to mayke eyse cream? Nffin bddererer than home-made ice creem!
I makes home-made ice-cream, neggst we meet I makes sum fur U k..
oh, yesh yesh yesh! How iz teh grad skool going, t_k?
ice scream???
well… I cud…… but but but…. their littel feets wud freeze, ifinkso!!
I makes a grate mango ice-cream
but what does u ware on ur feets???
I can haz cherry pi?!? wif banilla eye scream?!?
okthu berry much!
**serbz Nennepus sum pi** Yu wantz banilla oar fronsh banilla eye scream?
ooo – wut tu chuse!!! is fronsh banilla the wun with the litlol black specs innit?!?
Ai like that wun…
*drools at fought of cherry pi…*
Wuzzit yesterday we were talking ’bout animals detekting helf problems? Here izza NYTimes artickle ’bout goggie intellygense that menshuns a seizure-detekting dawg.
Here’s teh linkie. Add own ht etc and ww etc.
nytimes.com/2009/11/01/weekinreview/01kershaw.html?em
did u ever read My Sister’s Keeper? Teh lolyer has a seizure-detecting doggeh… sad book tho.
No, I haaznut read it. I cant reed sad animal storees..I get too weepy.
But a good mystery iz Dog On IT, by Spencer Quinn. Told frum pov of PI’s K-9 trained dog, gives a good, not-too-cute, life in a dog’s mind. Verisimilitude, he has it. Mystery itself is decent, some very good laughs.
I recommends it. Even if teh goggie narrator duzznot lyke cats.
Yabbut, buk is gud enuff and goggie iz luvable enuff, so we can forgibbs him.
If yoo wuntz a buk abowt a goggie hoo lubs kittehs and rescues heem, google: The Dog Who Rescues Cats. Is a troo storeh of Ginny, a goggie hoo . . . guess whut . . . lubbed to reskyew kittehs! Verreh hart-warmink!
Ther is a sekkund book abowt Ginny – is kawled The Blessing of the Animals. Author of both buks is Philip Gonzalez. Is 2 buks that ennywun hoo lubs kittehs and goggies wuld injoy, ifinkso!
OOOH! Nawt noing bout teh sekkund buk. Naw Ai gotta getting it. Teh Goggie Hoo ResQs teh Kittehs was one r full.
oh noes… this isn’t really an animal story! not at all.. it just happens that one of the characters has a dog. it’s a sad peeple story.
ai wurkz wif eh gui huz wifeycat has eh seishur-detektun goggie!
ai jus sen himz teh linkee. wuz tuff tu tyep “seizure-dectecting dog” rite afta typun “seishur-detektun goggie”!
dis mus bii gud fur braynez, aifinkso.
Thanks, booklion! What a neat artickle! Is espeshully interesting to read abowt payring such goggies with veterans suffering from PTSD. Anymals can be a wunnerful source of support and comfort and healing, whether they be service anymals or just owr reglar luvving pets . . .
oyesh. I am eegrr to be owned by kitteh again, when I am nawt doing so much travveling.
Yu has bof grayte kitteh AND teh graate human male to keep yr hart open and helathy. Yu Covvers all teh bases, aifinkso
We tries to keep those bases kuvvered! Teh huzbing wuz owt backpacking last nite under teh full moon. I saw teh full moon rise on mah way home frum wurks and then saw it wuz still up this mornink when I drove to wurk. I noes that moon wuz watching over us both; it mayd me feel close to heem to think abowt it.
I went to Floriday for a conferinz last week and got to meet CrazyOldLady. Teh huzbing stayd home and kept teh tabbeh cumpany; he sed Dexter got “verreh depressed” that I wuzzint hoem.
Wuz a verreh happeh homecoming FryedEgg nite. Teh tabbeh wuz just running arownd lyke CRAYZEE!! He’z bin lyke a burr since then – stuk to mah leg, curld up under mah blankee, etc.
Oh, and teh Huzbing wuz also glad to see me . . . 
Sounds lyke yu haz teh rite mix ov togevverness and spaciousness. When I waz marriayted, I felt teh suffomacated. I needs my alone time, but now, sumtimes I haz too much of it.
We alwayz had a gud balanz of togetherness and aloneness over teh yeerz. We’d spent lots of tyme together (whle officially living apart but spending most of owr nites together) over teh 22 yeerz we had been dating befor we got marrijed. But living together is a whole thing in and of itself!
That’s wun of teh benefits of being with a backpacker, tho – espeshuly throo teh fall, he takes lots of short backpacking trips, as weather allows. Some I get to go on, uthers (when aym wurking) he goes alone. It wurks owt pritteh well, and we ar always glad to seeing eech uther when he coems bak!
Oh hai, Gremlin!
Ur bit abowt deh moon remindered mii uv a pome I roted fur mai huzbin wen wii wuz still dating. i finso deh moon and peepz in luv just kinda goez togezzer. I kawllz it Moonbeam Love.
The yellow moon is rising,
Shining through the trees;
It’s fat and round and smiles down
On everything it sees.
Moonlight’s a reflection
Of sunlight, so they they say.
I think I’ll try that trick myself
To send some love your way:
I’ll open up my heart
And send the moon my love
So it will bounce back down to you
With moonbeams from above.
Oh, cweenmj!!!! That wuz just WONDERFUL!!!! Thank yoo for putting it here for us to enjoy! I espeshuly lyke teh part abowt teh moonbeams bouncing back to teh wun yoo luv.
{{{{{cween and her huzbin}}}}}
For enny uther moon lubbers: Ther is 2 songs I wuz remynded of whyle thinking of us sharing that moon this mornink.
Wun is by Neil Diamond, Done Too Soon: They have sweated beneath the same sun; looked up in wonder beneath the same moon; and wept that it was all done – for being done too soon.
Teh uther is by John Denver, Shanghai Breezes: And the moon and the stars are the same ones you see/ It’s the same old sun up in the sky / And your voice in my ear is like heaven to me / Just like the breezes here in old Shanghai!
Moonbeam love!!!!! I love it!!! Mutsch bedder than Radar Love!
tho radar love is best long distance driving song of all time.
youtube.com/watch?v=JeRa3RtBiIU
Naobudy expecs teh Aunt Bertha’s inquisishun!
bett her has neis kumfee chayr…
Is dat wut ur wairing deze dayz?
I gess itz ok if u like dat sort uv thing.
Hoo u b dating? Iz dat Harold and Ethelz boy?
I awlwayz sed he’d kum tu no gud.
How much dey paying u at dat so-cawlled job?
Iz ur vakuum cleener borkt? I see ur carpet is matting ober heer.
Just how menny katz duz u haz?
Whut is that phunney smell?
When wuz these sheets warsht last?
Ar we having pot roast AGIN for supper tonite?
So which wun of yor kids wuz it hoo got arrestikated this past summer?
Have yoo gayned wait since I laszt saw yoo?
Do yoo lyke yor hayr better that cullur? I shur don’t.
Why dint yoo coem to that last fambly reunyun? Cuzzin Bob wuz ther.
Hao much did yoo pay for that kar? Consumer Repots duzzint rekummend it.
Wuz that yor dawter I saw owt with that lokal hooligan last nite? She shur lukt lyke a slut. So much eye makeup, I thot she wuz a rakkoon.
Butt MAWM, Aunt Berffa smellz funnee!
Oyez…dat stranj micks awf sweff adn talkum powdah
And gin . . .
Dat’s Aunt Bertha’s meddysin!
Mai “Aunt Berffa” cawled it nurve tonic.
Ai reelee did hab an Aunt Bertha! She wuz a grate-aunt an Ai nebber meeted hur. Mai mum an dad spent dere hunnymoon stayin wiv hur.
ddi her liff sumweer nete? owr jus eh diffrun plais tu bii?
Sje libbed in a liddle plais in Lincolnshire.
Teh fing wuz dey had no munnee, an had 2 get away frum Mum’s dat hoo sed he wud shoot mai dad!
She’s bringin a Christmas Story Bunny Suit furr teh cat!
Ant Berfa dun cawted DIS wun, ifinkso.
impactlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/wolf-in-sheeps-clothing-483.jpg
Butt it’s nawt too late furr u…. run, run!!!
Wye do peepl do fings liek dat 2 kittehs?
same reezun dey doo dem too teh kidlets:
1.dey has dominyun obburr dem an CAN! (pleh, pleh!)
an
2.dey juss look sooooo cyute. Till dey bites u. (snurt)
*pownces on that dawnkee!*
I finks is verreh phunney! Butt in sum kayses, yoo kin guess that teh kitteh didn’t hold still for wayring a soot, but teh soot wuz put on teh kitteh via *luksarownd, whispurrs* fotoshop.
Lyke teh sunglasses on mah avatar. They wuz put on via pikipimp; mah kitteh wuld NEVER sit still for such nonsense! *snikker, snort*
*snurt*
Iffn u fink DAT’s funny, look beelow…..
ps i lubs ur avatar
Remines meh ub DIS: tinyurl.com/ygal5r4 in which I r sulking.
I had a lubblee gingham long dress furr a Christmas event.. Wen obbur, mah mommeh cut it short so I cud ware ebbrehday (read: school —-pleh!)
DEN!!
she decided it needed a belt, and dat I wuz gonna ware dat suede belt wiff teh silver diamond shapes in it “cuz it matched”.
Oh, teh tragedy.
Oh teh hyumannity! Yoo duzzint luk verreh happeh in that pikshor!
But at leest yoo is nawt wayring bunneh eerz . . .
BTW, hao yoo be? I has nawt scene yoo in a few whyles? Is lyfe treeting yoo kindly?
Oh wayt! I spoke too soon! Yoo IS WAYRING BUNNEH EERZ in teh pikshor befoar that wun!!!!
*duz bunneh hop in honor of teh pikshor with bunneh eerz*
I am GRATE!!! I has big happies!!
*trots off to dress furr wurk*
/pleh
Mebbe dem wuz donkee eerz in dhe pixor??
LOLing at that pickshure kafleen!!
b/c it reminds me ov: my momma used to cut my hares JUST LIEK THAT and I hated hated hated having teh short hares…. I finally got big enuf to say NO, and I dint have my hares cut, not even a *trim*, from teh 4th grade until teh 12th. STN!
Mah momma gave me that hayrcut too. *nods* She hated strayt hayr, and I always had strayt hayr. Oh teh tyranny of a curl-obsessed culture!
So she always cut it! Nao that aym an adult, I has long hayrs. Nobody cuts it nao eggsept mah huzbing when I asks heem to trim it a bit . . . STN, ditto!
I had teh “bizzy” hairs. An I hated hazzing it cutted too.
And in sixth grade, wen teh udurs wur waring Levis and chukka boots and flannel shirts and feathered back hair, I had an afro (perm) and was beeing dressed in short polyester knit dresses with lace collars.
U now noe why i am nutz.
Poly Esther!!! BLARG!!!
oh teh HUGE MANITEEE!!!!!!
Dat wun awlso lukz a liddlol bit angryz. o.O
Do nawt want!
Ant Burffa getz a
bad rapp wiff Kittehz, but hurz
juss lubbz dem so mutch!
Ant Burffa lubz 2
petz t3h Kittehz andz gibz dem
Rubbinz andz Snorgillz!!
Ant Burffa awllso
habz t3h beegest lap Kittehz
canz awll habz Napz awn!!!
Jack
She put perFOOM on her POOOOOdul!!!
Must be the dreaded cheek-pincher
iz anibuddy elles unablol tu aksess dere profiol?
ohai an gud moarnin cheezfrens!
Good mornin, willy boy! Thanks for yor kynd note asking wher I wuz.
Made me feel misst! I has not had enny trubbils this mornink accessing mah profile . . .
Oh Hai tu u willyboy!!
I not haz a problum wif deh profilez.