Warning signs that your cat could be smarter than you are.
nd i foiled ur stoopid puzzle!
Picture by: Jennifer Clausen Caption by: tammerlee via Advanced Lol Builder
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Ai noed dat awlreddee!
congarats anni, rite bak awn skejule ai see!
Thx! Yep, Ai fink Ai haz got mai hedd rownd teh tiem chaynj!
Yep, that r a given, aifinkso!
SWF………..
Kitteh iz enterin hurseff fer teh Pritty Kitty uv the Yeer kontest. Shee iz a shure winnah!
Other Warning Signs:
You feed him. You clean his litter box. You give him massages. You pay all his medical bills. He sleeps on your face. He rubs his butt in your face. He has the rights of an 800 lb. gorilla.
You are his slave.
Yep, sounds pretty smart to me!
Shirley there is ohter sines too. “Like whut, LCB?” u axe. I’ll tell u like whut:
Always beats u in Scrabble.
Beats u at pretty much all games.
Corrects ur lolspelling.
Doesn’t invite u to his literary swarays.
E…
Eezily owtwitz u at ebery turn
Fills teh crosswurd puzzlol owt…in inkz!
Gets ur goat
Haz u wel trayned
I….
Is not a redneck scientist.
Just plain outshines u in every way.
Knows too much and some moar besides.
Learns elebenty new things every day.
M…
Mathematiks, unnerstanz dem
Neber taiks woodin nikkles
Obercoms obstikles
Preyz awn ur feerz
Qwitz wile ahed
R….
Ruminates circles around u.
Speaks to u in lolatin then laffs when u say “WTF?”
Taunts u for ur unsuperiority.
Uses elebenty-syllable words.
V…
Valedictorian of his obedience school class.
Wins Nobel Prize. All of them.
Xs out all ur mistakes, including ur hubsand.
Yale grad, magna cum lol.
Zipper closure added to his fur for those hot summer days.
*blawks teh notty stuffs sew teh kitteh’s preshus iis dew nawt see it*
smarty kat laffs at ur parentil blocks, bwahahaha!
Kitteh goin phishin’
* strut pout strut pout strut pout *
Hey! What is that cat doing on MY laptop???
nyce struttin an poutin dere Mick!
Oh, thanks! Hey, have you seen that squeaky little rat of LCB’s around? I think he’s hidden my lip cream again…
O hai, Mick. When u find my phlonquais, will u axe him whare he’s been? I has had to fluffify my own pillyows and get my own applol juice!
Wait. What? *You* don’t even know where he is???
What about the French one? And the Scottish one? And that stuffed otter he’s always waving around? Have you checked his cubicle?
We’ve been trying a noo “honner system” where he doesn’t has to punch teh time clock anymoar. This gives teh time clock plenty times to heal. But I hasn’t seen nor heared from GP in a lotta whiles. I hadda take myself to teh horspital for my surgeries. And man, did I ever give myself all kinds of troubles!
Oh, and one that eats less too… EVERY time I go the fridge for a snack, it’s empty!
But… but… I could never replace my phlonquais! He insisted on a lifetime contract. Teh onliest way to let him out of it is to… u knoes… terminate him.
Leave the money on the counter and walk away. I’ll do the rest.
Whut moneys? And whut is u gonna does? Strut him to deaf?
* looks around nervously * Err… Umm… Err… THE money. I mean, your money. I mean, my money. Or, his money. Or, your money. Yes.
Let’s just say he might have a unfortunate ‘accident’ when he next reaches for a Pork Scratching…
Whut kine of accident?
Abducted by haunted pork scratchings?
Bitten by teh hand that feeds him?
Can’t grab the last morsel?
Drops bag into sewer?
E…
Eaten by Rabid Weasels?
Forced in the waste disposal?
Grabbed by the FBI?
Hidden under the patio?
Ingests a spoiled rat?
Joy buzzer hidden in pork scratchings?
Killed wif kindness?
Loses balance, has to use overdraft?
M…
Mauled by angry wolves?
Nailed to his cubicle wall?
Overcome by Lip Cream fumes?
Pushed down a lift shaft?
Q…
Questioned vigorously about his whereabouts?
Raked into a pile of leafs and jumped into by rabid weaslols?
Scratched by pork?
Tumbles into the elebentieth dimension?
Uvula gets bruised very badly?
V…
Vigorously shaken by his Phlonquer?
Washed along with the OLUs?
X-rayed over and over again until he glows?
Yanked around by the ear?
Zipped up in a body bag?
Well? Which would you prefer?
Hay, wait a minnit.
Is u sure u is teh Mick? Because I donot think Mick knows teh alphamabet this good.
U is my phlonquais in a Mick costume, isn’t u?
Huh? Whut? Ai donut nose whut yu meens! Nuh uh, no wais.
AHEM!
Err… I mean… err… Of course not!
* holds up lip creem *
That’s not lip creem! That’s a bebbeh otter wif a t-shirt on that says “Lip Creem, Not Bebbeh Otter” onnit.
but but but… is NAWT!!! pfft!
Nao, whut munchies do wii has?
Ahem. I’m hungry. Uh huh. Yesh.
U’r starting to *sound* moar like GP, but u still has those tite leather pants on.
O, good ceiling cat, NO! Just saying that ifn’ u is gonna has a snack of GP proportions, u doesn’t wanna has those tite pants on is all. Go change into ur stretchy pants and ur own avatar.
Silly piggeh.
Deed summedy sai sumfing abowt a sangwich? huh? huh?
U did. U gonna make me one or whut?
Whut.
Ok. But can u put some extry WTF onnit? I has a big hongry.
WTF? FTW.
Picklols?
Hold teh picklols. Where u holds them is up to u.
HAY! Plz to not hold teh picklols over my hed!
Ai haz nawt seed him inna lot of wiles
Butt (!) ai fink u cahn git a gyant eeknonommy syze at teh Walltowall Mart
Hmm… yes, but without a rat to fetch it for me… that’s no good!
Whut would we does wif a giant eeknomony size phlonquais? Teh food bill alone would make teh planet go broke in a coupla hours!
ai hoap u iz otay frum ur surgeries? awl went wel?
I is teh recovering, yes. Because they was using teh laz0rs on me (PEW! PEW! PEW!) they hadda gives me teh all-over sleepy-nap anise… annette… aniston… knock-out drugs. Getting over teh effects of that was worst than the getting over teh laz0rs.
Having to ride home from the horspital on a unicycle because my phlonquais and my splortscar was both AWOL was teh not so nice.
Mai kitteh canz turnz the computah onz and offz and duz Google searches via tha medium of kitteh runnings ovah tha keyboardz.
“Kitteh on teh keys” for the intertube age!
I knew she was trying to replace me.
…but he’s only surfing cat pawrn
wud dat be “prawn” mebbe?
Teh foopets ad dat sayz “dey are alibe” iz skeeryfying me. Creapee!
Iffn u haz Fyrefawks, u can hab adblock an no moar adberts!
Teh fawkz duz nawt plai niselee wif mai Norton, furr sum reezun. Butt Fanks Anni!
Werks OK wiv mai Norton!
**danses arownd an arownd**
Teh GP iz bak! Himz alibe an well an bak in teh Cheezland!
**Luks sternlee at GP**
Ai wuz habbin a wurree!
Nao if teh Maus and teh kerrykatz wud come bak….odotz!
Ieez Creem Kitteh can
haz awlllll Cheezburgrz hurz wawntz
oardurreeng awn lyne!
2 Dubbill Cheezburgrz
wiff Baykunn, lettuss, ‘mayturrz
Keppitch andz Mussturdz!
Wun eetch 4 Kitteh
andz Prittee Wun. Den can habz
Banilla Millk Shaykz!!!
Jack.
Smart cat would know that using a laptop on a bed is not a good idea.
Well, he’s using Windows, so I’m not going to get scared just yet.
Even Ceiling Cat uses a computer database to keep track of us silly hoomins – SQL perhaps?
is trew cats are smart
Wen did teh n0rmulz takez ober dis site?
Single White Feline ISO small rodent for playtime and noms. Fatties a plus.
“Mr. Snuggles reveled in the amount of friends he had on Facebook, where he posted pictures he’d taken of his humans drooling on themselves while asleep, sneaking late-night snacks, and surfing websites with questionable moral content.”
surfin icanhascheezburger? an’ postin’ his hoomanz on FAILBlog wen tey wer asleeep