“Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
“Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Please allow 6-8 years of growing and training.”
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Cheezburger Network Blog
An eben den it mai nawt do wat u want it 2
Yurss – paw littul fing, it nawt luk liek itt reely want to fite!! Bles. Conga rats on de tawp sport, wunss agin, anni!!!
Thx! Him duz lukk sumwat timid!
Dats too lol yous into a fals sens ob secyooritee.
Den BAM!!! Him buss yous in yous hed!!!
BAP!!!
ohhhh! butt (!) aifinkso ai can deel wif hiz BAP
trubbul iz, ai den haz diffcultee wid de nawt-splortin-aspekt uf fings. Traiyin reely hard heer.
Dats awl part ob da ultimid fyter strategeree.
BAP! Splort! Yous ded. Hims still champeen.
hims a luvver, nawt a fighter!
Werst… burfdai… prezunt… EBBER.
They why u gived it to me? Hmph. Just like last year when u gived me that skatebraod wif ur initials monogrammified onnit.
“Ai want a skatebored!”, yu sed
“Maek shore ai nose eet is frum yu!”, yu sed
“Paynt eet yurself!”, yu sed
I seem to rember that diffrently.
*blurry screen*
“U wants a skatebroad for ur birfday?” u axe
“It will halp u get over ur fear of careening out of control down teh street” u sed
“I’ll put my name onnit so teh EMTs will knows who to call after u crash” u sed
I finso dat GP iz berry thotty. *nods*
*buts the curing of ur careening-out-of-control-ophobia isn’t guaranteed.
eye dont tink so GP id take him in a hart beet
Mee 2 – Ai lub teh tuxiez!
Are teh tuxiez usually boyz? Juss seemz dat way to me.
I dunno. When I was looking to adoptify a noo kitteh earlier in teh year I was looking at teh tucksies and there was somes that were teh gurl kittehs. And my bother had a vry sweet (but none too brite) tucksie gurl named Alley.
I hadded a beyooteemus blakk n wite tuxie gurl named Muffin. Shii lubbed tu roll on deh patio adn showing off hur belly stripe! But hur awlso hadded a meen streek — sum dayz wii kalld hur deh B*tch Cween. Shii wud sit on mai lap adn hissing at t’uther kittehz wen dey wawk bai.
Nawt shore – teh ownlee 2 Ai noed well enuff wuz bofe boiz.
One ob my gurls (calico), I won’t name names, is da none to brite…butt(!!) iz da sweetest gurl ebber. I hope she’s nawt online in da ovur room reeding dis.
If she’s none too brite, she’s prolly online stuckified at this page
*stare wiffa blankly, contentedness*
Our stripey tux kitteh izza grrl. (Wif spotty nose adn mixed pink/blakk toe pads.)
I lubs da mixed pinkee/blackkee toe pads….
Yup, they hazza cyoot, lyke littlol jellybeenz… too bad they haz teh pointy enz right next to ‘em! Kitteh nawt lyke us playin’ wif teh toe pads.
You haffta wait till der asleap. And ware leather gloves.
Sownds lyka guud planz, aifinkso. Ickle tickle tickle…
Owie! *Kitteh chomps gentlee on finger of leather glove*
tru dat annie! con grats on da top spot
Thz Punkin!
What iz the seecrets to being furst alls teh tyme… I still no haz furst ever… Iz sad…
o pleez doan be sad!! annipuss has de farstest paws inna… sorta wes… iz unbeetabul. Wee awl jus luk upta hur!
Teh onli tyme Ai hadda nawt sekond waz one of those silleh days wehn ICHC’s clokk got fowled up adn teh LOL posted at 13:17 o’clokk or sometyme lyke taht. Most days it’z best to nawt get concernd abowt who’z nawt sekond, adn just has fun seeing teh LOLz adn visitin wif owr cheezfriends, afinkso. Yesh?
oh, iz okay catchops, i wuz posting heer for more tahn a HOLE YEER before i gotted my nawt-sekund nawt-sekund. i wuz so eggsited i ran arownd in circuls yelling an gotted dizzy an falled ober!! sinse tehn i haz had wun more, an i haz been comminting heer for abowt two yeers now. anni haz speshul talent, an teh rest ob us just duz owr bestest.
Fighting against the lack of kewt. And winnin!
~S-p-l-o-r-t~
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up D.R.’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Whew. Thank u, annipuss.
oh noes! dr is down. wheres annie? she can bring the ccc to help!
Wuz dere b4 u spoek!
*whispers* BTW, Ai prifurr 2 be Anni wivowt teh e awn teh end!
oh, i so sorry, i knows that! duh on me!
I’z a snoggler, nawt a fighter.
make kyoot, not war
dis is one ob mai faberit lols ebber… ai lurves dis one!
Bebbeh Kitteh habz
seekritt Iee~dentitee ‘cuz
hurz habz Banditt Massk!
T3h Masskd Marawwdurr
Bebbeh Kitteh cawnkurr wiff
Kewtness Oberload!
Kewtness Oberload
amz Bebbeh Kitteh’z seekritt
weppun… Nebburr faylz!!!
Jack.
kewtness oberload… wun ob teh most leethal weppons knowd to mankind!
kewtness ob mass destruxion.
Dis bebbeh nawt haz tu fites. Iz jus lukk kyoot den squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . . . SPLORT.
Wurks ebber tyme.
ohai, it’s teh burfday fairy to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to Prettykitty an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today! i haz bringed a cuppiecaeks an iskreem sunday buffay, wif cuppiecakes in all yor favrite flavrs wif fancy cartoon caracter frsotings, an all teh favrit flavrs ob iskreem an evree topping yoo kan imajine! also sparkly party punch, noyzemakers, an teh tradishunal sunnyday trol-hed crokay gaem. teh balls look liek trol heds, an wen yoo whak tehm wif the mallets tehy make funny trolly noyzez! also goodie bags filled wif yoyos taht wissle kung foo fiting wen tehy wissle; liddle wind-up raysing kittehs, kandee, an kung foo litteh coluring buks wif bokses ob elebenty-three crayns wif bilded-in sharperners! an a big swish ob the burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
Fanks, birfday fairy! *Munches cuppiecaek wif Krazy Kat illustrashum on teh top, adn a littlol Fronsh Banilla iskreem*
Guies, Dini gibbed me a beeg skeered erlyur!
I had opened the windows earlier and then went out to meet my parents for lunch.
When I came home, Dini was in the upstairs (bedroom) window. I was talking to her from outside when she stuck her head and her paws OUT OF THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN!
I completely froze and freaked out, repeating, “Get in the house, get in the house.”
I finally went inside, coaxed her out of the window and promptly CLOSED THE WINDOW!
I can has tekillya? I iz a bundlol of mahm-nerbs!
Ohai Red! Silleh Dini, she nawt spozed tu be skaring her mahm so!! Tisk tisk!
Ohai, Lungdoc!
Yesh, I finkso I has sum moar gray hares, fanks to dat furball!
Our two kittehs live indoors but one ovvem lykes tu dash owt teh bakk-door wehn she gets a chants, juss to prove she kan duit. But tehn she just lies down on teh sunny concrete bakk-porch adn rolls arownd on her bakk, nawt runnin awai– juss lookin smug. Frissenfrassen silleh kitteh.
Ifn teh blak floofy wun ever runz owt, donut come luukin at my howse foar him.
Nope, I wud nawt haz him. Nawt at awl.
Teh blak floofy wun izn’t teh runner. She’s moar slow adn relaxed. Teh stripey tux grrl is teh runner, but just once-inna-whyle. She does teh Kat Of Madness thing, dashing arownd teh house adn up teh kitteh-pole adn on top of teh refrigerator adn what-not, just for a few minnitz– adn tehn goez bak to sleep for teh next elebenty hours or so. Adn when she does this at 0300, she allways haz boots on, aifinkso.
Yeah, Dini duz teh saym fing.
HOW duz a kitteh dat nawt weigh 8 pownz sown lyk hurd of lolefantz awn teh stares?
I thinxo you hab gotcher hands full wiff dis liddol escape artist!
**nodz**
Yesh, yesh yesh. Hur naym iz berry appro….aprop…..fittin, I finkso!
Kitteh iz luvvur, nawt fite-ur!
Dis wun iz full of L&LOL. Mai sister (rest her soul) had a kitteh dat slept rite next to her neck. She named him Killer. Dis Tuxies has de feroshus kyute.
Wun of my frenz had a haff-meezer tuxie. Himz oridjinal naym wuz sumfin similolar to “sheet-hed”.
Wun day, him egg-skayped butt hur finalee finded him. Wen hur huzbin gottid hoam, hur sed, “Wii gotta chanj kitteh’s naym! I’m not goin frew the nayburhood hollerin foar sheet-hed!”
fanks. dat iz da funnee.
total cuuuttteee ness
Oh Hai, Cheezpeepz!!
I can haz a nowncesmint tu making….
I haz desided how tu dewing deh Dark adn Stormy Nite so ebbreewun gitz a chans tu play. I hadded mennee peepz offer Ideaz and I haz skrunchinged dem awl tugezzer and dis iz wut I fink wii will dueing.
Dere will b wun Dark adn Stormy Nite on Wenzdii deh 28th on deh 6am ICHC Lol;
Den wun on Halloween nite Saturday deh 31st on deh 12 pm (noon) ICHC Lol;
Den annuzzer wun on Guy Fawkez Day, Thurzday, Nov 5th on deh 12 am (midnight) ICHC Lol.
Tyme kunvershunz chart:
6am ICHC=
… 9am Pacific
…10 am Mountain
…11 am Central
…12 pm Eastern
… 5 pm TTI
… 8 pm Sidney Next Day
12 pm (noon) ICHC =
…3 pm Pacific
… 4 pm Mountain
… 5 pm Central
… 6 pm Eastern
… 11 pm TTI
… 2 am Sidney (Next day)
12 am (midnight) ICHC =
… 3 am Pacific
… 4 am Mountain
… 5 am Central
… 6 am Eastern
… 11 am TTI
… 2 pm Sidney (next Day)
Plz tu note: Yrup changez off uv Daylite savingz time dis weekend, but we Merrykanz don’t change until Nov. 1th. Deze timez duz not taking dat intu akkownt. U will haz tu adaptify deh tymez akkordinglee.
And, az an added attrakshun, I will hosting a Halloween Party Saturday nite on deh 2 pm LOL. (Fur doze uf uz hoo haz no RL) So git ur kostuumz reddy!!!
Adn fur doze hoo not noing how tu play dis game, oar doze hoo furgottid…..
The rules are simple:
The story begins ‘It was a dark and stormy night…’
Each person adds a paragraph or line, lolspeak is optional. Responding to your own post is a no-no but multiple posting is encouraged.
The story is limited to 50 entries. The last person to post must end the story.
It works best if you enter the paragraph number in your post so we can keep track of where we are.
Don’t forget to ‘refresh’ (F5). Try to keep lols and comments within the story to a minimum in order to preserve the flow.
And remember to use the ‘Reply’ feature so your post doesn’t get lost at the bottom of the page.
Yu kin seeing deh original Dark adn Stormy Nite tu see how it played owt wif multiplol fredz branching off deh story.
Frenz, I need ur opinyunz.
Dere iz a kitteh dat been hangin arown an I am finkin abowt adoptifyin hur.
I nevver has had two kittehs befoar an hazza nerbis. Iz it gud eyedea? How mutch trubblol iz two kittehs ovur wun? Dini haz lotsa enerjees – lots moar den Josie ever had – so hur iz a handful by hurself. Wud I be luukin foar trubblol ifn I get anuthur kitteh?
Ai hazza littlol worried abowt this sichuashun, Red. Wehn Ai wazza kidlet Ai adopted a lost kitteh that we found when staying in a different town, adn brought her home, where we had a couple of other kittehs. Shortly, all three kittehs went over teh Bridge–turned owt taht teh newcomer had distemper, adn this was back in teh early 1960’s, adn we didn’t know abowt immunizing teh kittehs except for rabies. Teh epidemiology may has changed over the years, but you might want to ask Dini’s vet abowt risk of contagion before exposing her to new kittehs.
Teh nawt-sekkund fing I wud do iz tayk hur (noo kitteh) to teh V-E-T befoar I’d even let hur inna howse.
A few minnits ago, dey wuz sniffin eech uthur thro teh windo skreen.
It’s hard to tell how teh two kitteh’s temperaments will get along. Sometimes multi-kitteh homes do fine; but our two kittehs disliked each other from teh start, adn they still dislike each other after 7+ years. (Nawt many fights annymoar, but mutually wary. Both were rescue kittehs, one from my wife’s late mother, teh other from a neighbor moving away.) Maybi since Dini is new to teh house herself, she won’t be quite as territorial abowt it as if she were teh old established homeowner. Oar nawt?
I alway lykes to hab 2 kittehs. Dey can snorgel and wrassel and keep each ovor companies wen yer nawt home. Da V-E-T is key. He/she cud anser all yer kwestions.
I agreez. 2 oar moar kittehz kin play wif ee chudderz wen u iz gone tu werk and wen u iz home, u git twicet az menny LOLz and snorglolz. Even Muffy, deh Cween B*tch, played and snorglold wif deh uzzer kittehz. Sumwun wunst tolding mii dat deh best toy u kin git a cat iz anuzzer cat.
Ohai rhsb. I have taken in several strays. I agree with Lungdoc, take it to the vet before you bring it into your house. Feline lukemia and AIDS are almost epidemic.
I will cawl teh V-E-T an see wut dey rekomend.
Yesh, red, V-E-T first butt (!) shud be teh okay! Dey are teh compny 4 each over. Jest 2 fings 2 keep in teh mind wunce teh over kitteh cheks out helfy. 1: Constantly kleenin teh pleh litr bocks. 2: Dey mite be teh bestest of fwends in teh hows but if dey see anover kitteh owtside dey can hab teh bad fite wif each over inside. Ai had 2 kittehs dat ai got togever dat did dat. Teh 2 kittehs ai hab naow are teh fine!
Aww!
hao can kyoot kitteh tern intoo teh ‘Ultimate Fighter’?!?
Hiz speshul manuber iz cawzing hiz upponentz tu splort.
Looks liek Fisk Black!
Cat durid is 4 FITE!
After being released from the packaging, the UFK (Ultimate Fighter Kitteh) killed the denizens of the surrounded metropolitan area. The entire extent of the damaged was estimated to about 1 square mile before the UFK was destroyed by a military air strike.
donch worriez, I ish perfeckly harmlez…
D’awww, littlest Ultimate Fighter!
(S/he looks like one of my cats who is the biggest momma’s boy in the world, which makes this doubly funny for me. :3)
where does the batteries go??????
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! sooooo cute! i want an ultimate fighter!!!! how much????????