« Previous whassup, | I have a wet cat and a gun. Next »
Incorrect source or offensive?
» 128 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
« Previous whassup, | I have a wet cat and a gun. Next »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
in an attractive wai, mind yu
yeps, mush bettar dan da hoomins..and conga rats..
Teh Conga Ratz has decided to not dans for yu tuday, cuz dey’s lazee. Teh Guinnea Pigs seize teh opportunity to take tu teh stage and do a well rehearsed (though squeaky) version of teh Thriller zombie dans…
dats conga rats to carosue…we tyed fur nawt second…mai nawt second nawt second…yah!
Woo hoo!
* breaks glass on metul kase saying “in case uf partee break teh glass” adn pulls out teh instant partee, kompleet with teh flairing bartenderer & fyre spinner.
Whass ur order fur teh bartender?
ai wud lurve a chocolat martoonie…..dat souns yum yumy kthx
*Bartender serves it in glass coated in Brownie crumbs
How it feels to be not second?
wundermus!!! ai nevr can fink of anyting cute to sai…
thx fur da drink..ai lurves da brownies
Me eiffer. I is happy to share teh spawt wif yu! We kan go tu teh tie booteek! We cud get sum plushie halloweenie kittehs!
ai chillin…
Ai kin do dat too!
*ponders*
Dis raized seberal kwestyunz:
Nawt-sekkund, How long haz Nightshayde hadded deh powerz uv levitayshunz?
B. Wuz hur born wif it, oar iz it Maybelline??
3. will hur use hur powerz fur gud oar ebil?
Well — ai wuz borned on Hallolween awlmoast 41 yeerz ago, so ai shud haz majikul powerz, aifinkso! (answers nawt sekkund & B)
♫ Mah powers uv levitayshun cuk mayk a fakir stare.
Wutebber tiem teh deed took place.
Nightshayde … wuzzint there. ♫
3. Aifink mah powerz be used fur gud (an aifink u, mah cween, wud agree), but dere iz lawts uv pplz dat finks mah feminist-pinko socialist pro-gay-rights ajenda iz moar ebil den gud.
Mai sisstur wuz borned onna Hallolweenie tu! (Hur wuz borned aye fue yeers afore yu tho).
Mai frabitest cuzzin wuz borned onna Hallolweenie tu! Ai nawt at teh libbertee tu sai hao menny hallolweenies agoa taht wuz. STN!
Mah nefoo waz bornded on Nobember 1, berry earlee…
Mah neece is a Halloloween bebbeh too


When her was small seh was a liddle monsturr
Now seh am all growed up seh am still a liddle monstur
But I lubs her enneway.
And bring me da remote!
Anna Beer! Teh gaem iz gunna start enny minute!!
Ann sumof dose horsedoovers.
Shhhh……. Howse iz on…. can’t tawk now.
*RingRing*
Why I not turn off teh shellfone!!!11!
Butt, butt, (!!!) we wantz to be watchiin da game!!!
Yah – teh Blakhawks be playing!
Really? Dey be on TV???
No score so far against Nashville. On Sportsnet in Vancouver, anyways…
I found it. ch.37 in Chicago.
Ohai pj, ai fot ob yoo as ai ated teh last pees ob oreeoh crum boddum brownee cheezcaek wif caramel drizzloled onnit tonite…
Lazee daze in los angeles
if it nawt yer parunts, iz teh darn polees
wii jus wants tu git owr kikks fur free, wii jus wants tu git owr kikks fur free
♫
Iz Ok pj. Ai maeded blakberri cheezcaek tudai. U can haz teh eggstra wun. Iz berri gud wif a liddlol warm mayplol syrups drizzloled obur teh tawp.
AI wants teh
Asiago cheez mini burgerz
Buffellow Winges
Cali – Culo – Kolly – Squidthingies
Dose rice-stuft grape leefes
E…
Eggplant parmigiana
Full slaba ribs wiff bbq
Gallons ob bbq an bleu chees sauce
H…
Howse epysodes (doz awl dis stuf has ta be nom stuf?)
Infynit noms
Jewwy beens
K…
Kukin showz
Lawts ob cheezipoofs
Mini choklit chip cukkeez
N…
Nutter Butter cookies
Oatmeel Cookies (wiffowt raizins)
Popcorms
Q…
Otemeel cukkees wif chonklitt chips is OK?
Iz MOAR den okay!
I can has, plz? **gibs sad luuk**
otemeel wif noe pleh raizins oar choklit chipies
but wif walnutts!!!!!
Yesh – dat wud be
axep,aksep,axsep. ok.Ai akshullee maeks mine wif cinnamon chips — ai haz bin tolded bah a fyoo pplz dat ai maek teh best oatmeel cookies eber.
Qualeetee Streete Chokkolyts!
“Royales wif Cheez” (a la Pulp Fiction)
Snausage rollses
Turtles (I luv Turtles)
Ultra fyne choklits
Vino, veritatisikly
Welshy rare bitz
X . . .
Xtra cheezy pizza
Yummy yellow banananananas
Zabaglioniz! oar iz taht zamboniz?
NIP!!!!
O…
I can has beer befoar it startz?
*gentlee tossus teh beer frum teh cooler tu Rhsb *
Heer U goes, catch!
is is Caturday yet?
THAT IS NOT A COUCH THAT IS A PERSON THE CAT IS SITTING ON! WTF!
DA CWEEN AN I LIKES DA SAYM TEE-V SHOWS?? Wow….it is an honor i haz! Yay fer Howse! I luvs dat show. Dat doctor be sew sillee, espeshully win him stays in day sike ward (bein a sike-ologee hoomin, it wuz rilly fun tew watch!)
ai lubs haus two!!!!
da ole grewp iz bak!!
yay yay yay !!!!
pore chaze
Ya, just u n mii, adn …um… lebenty millyun uzzer peepz watchin deh Howse.
*”Borrows” da remote* Greys Annanamy is on!
hay!!
*powncez on pj*
Gib dat bak!!!
*remote goez flying*
**Red grabz it**
I wanna watch CSI:NY!
I can’t heer you I’s watchin Gr…Hay! who changed da channel!
Be kwiet, plz!
I nawt can heer wut Mac is sayin….
*Kwietly steals red’s beer*
*snerk*
Kittehs haz bein lazy an comfee down to an art form, I finkso!
nods nods..yesh dey do..
Kittehs iz teh purrfeshunlols aifinkso
teh professhenlolz at bein lazy in a comfy wai!
or iz it comfy in a lazy wai?
Wichebber rekwires less effurt, aifinkso.
witchevver wai, ai juss wunt teh kitteh tu teech mi hao tu du eet.
I’m luukin at Miss Dini an hur definitelee has teh comfee! Sakked owt awn teh chayre….
Toonces is gettin her huge afternoon zonk on Zzzzzzzzzzz
*checks to make sure she’s breevin*
Punkin is juss sittin an finkin ob nuffin.
Himz mind iz engayjd in teh rapt concentrayshun
uv teh thot
uv teh thot
uv teh thot
uv himz nayme.
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable, deep and inskrootabul singular nayme.
Wow, you can see into Punkins brayne, butt, nawt see watz under HERZ tayle.
It wud nawt haz bin polite uv me to looking under hur tayle. We hazzint bin introduced!
Plz to telling Punkin ai iz sorry. Ai meened no offense.
We yoosta haz a boikat naymed Punkin at teh laek wen ai wuz a lifeguard. Him wuz a bery nifty snorgly kitteh — den he got… um … sent ober teh Brij by a truck.
It still maeks me sad moar den 10 yeerz laytur.
{{{{NS}}}}
oOops.. baretaka….. …. .. .. . .
………. ♪♫ ,,,, …….
………*toot* skeeze meh … ……
Hai Kittehs!
omai! affer so menny daze widdowt noe-ing wuts going awn…cannawt figgurz owt wuz going awn?
Oh, nebber mind. Iz soe much happy here, ai feelz it! will be tew being back later. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
{{SH}}}
{{{sunnyhuckle}}} we haz a happy for you
Yummmm……veggie fajita eggsperimentashun completed.
nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
*splort frum teh delishusness*
Omai! Duzza delishusness splort need reskews lyke a cyuteness splort? *Hazza uncertaintee*
Oh, well…
*Sweeps up splorted pleasure centers which seem to have popped out of ear-holes*
*Rinses off wif sparkling waterz*
*Spoons bits back into ear-holes adn trowels off teh excess material, kinda lyke feedin a grandnephew hiz carrots, ‘cept wif grandnephew, it’s gettin teh carrots _out_ of teh ears, but you get teh idea*
*Wraps head in duckytaip*
Can yu heer me nao?
*Feeds Jeremy a small sauerkraut adn eggplant sandwich wif picklols, to counteract teh excess delishusness of teh previous veggie noms eggperiment*
There you goes. Ai hope taht is making yu feel all better.
veggie burritos, akshully.
shylense…….. or I keeelz joo.
Jeff Dunham reference = WIN!!
Kittehz knoez haow 2
luukz gud wenz duzzeeng nuffeengz
inz partikkyoolurr
Kittehz duz nuffeengz
kwyte a lawtz, yetz luukz lyke dayz
amz duzzeeng summfeeng
Kittehz andz cummfurtz
goez handz in handz. No can haz
wun wiffowtz uddurr!
Jack.
*clappity clappity* Berry gud, Jack!! Ai always liek tu readify yur haikus!!
This is soooooo mii tumorrow. Dis week week week haz bin weak weak weak.
PLEH wurkity, PLEH tumtum, PLEH (supposed) frenz acting awl upity.
Ai yam gunna watch elebenty man moobies
and sit arownd doin’ nuffin butt(!) scratchin’.
Oh, nc66, sry fer all yer plehs…{{{nc66}}}…hopes you hazza soothin, lazy Friedegg.
Lessee, u kin watch.. ….
Akshun flikkz
Buddy moooveez
Chisolm
Die Hard
E…..
Earth Girls are Eazee
Fifth Element
Great Train Robbery
Highlander (several)
Iron Man
Jewel of teh Nile
K…
Kull teh Conqueror
Last Boy Scout
Mummy (several)
Night of teh Living Dead
Omega Man
Predator (several)
Q…
Quiet Man (John Wayne, 1952)
Return of teh Pink Panther
Specialist (Stallone ‘94)
Throw Momma from teh Train
Under Siege
V for Vendetta
W…
Wild Bunch
X…..
X-Men (faute de mieux)
Young Frankenstein
Zulu (nawt an endorsement so much as an alfabetickal obligation)
Xena, Warrior Princess
Yearling, The
Zargoz!!!! Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Dang! How did Ai forget Zardoz??!!?? clearlee a better Z-choice for this run tahn Zulu. Ai bows to JCH4K’s superior manmoovie knowledge. Ai’ll even let you slide on Yearling, which is clearly a chick-flick.
Well, mai clumzee fingerz did laik yurs befoar!! LOL!!
JCH4K happins to be a GIANT Sci-fi fan!!!
Ummm – Zabriskie Point???
h ttp://images.google.com/images?q=zardoz&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=kRTYSu-OGJW2NoGWidMH&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CB8QsAQwAw
Here in iz teh fabulolso, nebber to be furgotten fotos ov Sean Connery!!
Wun an awnlee ask – hao CUD he?
Yearling wuz teh awnlee “Y” ai cud think ov.
Ohai cween! For a while there Ai thought it waz just me adn teh crikkets left. Are you still up by Aztec?
yuppir!! wii iz still sittin bai deh Ruinz. will stick arownd till neggst munf…. dehn hed east, prolly.
Ruinz???
*nods* ruinz.
ooopz. try agin
ruins,
*crosses finnerz.
That luks reelee interesting! An itz nawt far frum A’ll Be Qwerkee??
CWEENMJ!!! Wai dint yoo TELL me yoo wud be there! Ai hav frenz in Albuquerque ai visit awl teh taim! Butt – they nebber told me about this.
Ai’d LUV to see it!
Iz bowt 3 owers norf west uv Al B. Kerkee.
Now I reellee must git tu bed!!!
‘Nite!!
Tuks cweenmj in wif sawft warm blankee – cashmere in a luvlee shayde ov dark red – littlol fringess awn teh ends.
Gibs Richard a littlol schmoo wn teh tip ov teh noze!
Aztec Ruins Nat’l Monument–12th century Native American site, nicely preserved adn fun to visit.
Wellp, Ai hope yu folks has a fine tyme here in NM, adn safe travelz when yu’re back on teh rode. Aifinkso Ai will go get some sleepz now. G’nite awl!
G’nite!!! oh, heer, take diz floofy blankee, it mite git cool tunite.
Thanx! Can allwais use a floofy blankee, yesh yesh.
Sawft Pillo??? Wiv silk cover? Yoo can uze that too??
Luvly thought, teh soft silki pillo–but mai bald(ing) head keeps sliding offem, kerplonk. Needz moar traction these days, Ai’m afraid. Thnx!
Cool??? COOL???
Teh radio at mai haus in town sed we mite hav SNO tonite!!!!
Snow?!?!?!?!!????
will b 37F tunite heer. Awlreddy down tu 46.
I finso I will hed tu bed tu. Nite peepz!!
{{{{LungDoc}}}}
{{{{{Janet}}}}}}
{{{{{{Lurkerz}}}}}}}
Nite Awl. We shud AWL be in bed!
Cept KimKiwi, an Africat, an SJ an Tidmum an Ambercat an Nennepus an PossinBoi an minimimsmum an Upf an Siobhan an gibbocat an paul an Jimmba an paws4thot an LoveCat an Ally Bally . . . LOL!! Ai noe ai’ve left menee out!
But ai hav to go to bed, too!
‘Nite!
*chirps kwietlee in teh korner*
Ohai krikt! Careful nawt to wake teh kittehs. (Our kittehs always has a puzzled when tehy find a krikkit. They
seem unsure whether to try to touch it or nawt–krikkits stick out in a lot of funny directions afinkso.)
Anom! You go, brother. Wif teh proper remote skillz and careful planning, it is possible to see nothing but explosions, car chases, Marx Brothers crackup scenes and Laurel/Hardy physical comedy for 18 hours straight. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh.
Butt!, plz no 3 stoogies.
Okeh. Ai has to admit taht some of the Stooges’ stuff hasn’t aged well. But in carefully choses doses it’s still a giggle.
*make taht “chosen”—mai fumbly fingers again—
thinkin’ momma’s too lazy to go move her UNDERWIRE BRA hanging from the mirrored closet door. Mm.. might be feelin’ a caption coming on..
I wundered dat myself. 0_o
This could TOTALLY be my cat George. Looks just like him, too.
He likes laying on my mom’s lap … we call it the “crotch cradle” or the “crotch boat” … LOL
Dear Fatty,
Lose some weight.
Sincerely,
me
p.s. i’m not talking about the cat.
omgg look at the size of that bra hanging on the mirror
…looks just like my housemate…