ZEN MASTAH
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
bee da tewmato
Thinking…
… If I look like teh fuud, the mices come to me!…
Conha Ratz Shoelaces on your Not Second!
I will send out teh bunneh waiter wif teh veecheesoiseeh
whi fank yew………..
congarats tu yu D4K an carosue two
wee kan haz dans dans dans !
Iz at Peeze!
An karrits!
Nawt ina saim pawt, kthx.
Phunny, tehy luk leik toemaytoes tu mi.
Iz da POWwer ub kittehs mind!! Eech peep seez whut eber hee wans der ta seez!!
Ifinkso dat hee iz balancin bananerz!!
Im in ur Samsara attaining Nirvana.
Aslan? O.o
Darrkwolff, DARRKWOLFF……is that rlly yoo? Teh wolfiee frum Textus? I habbn’t seen yoo in 4 ebber!!! How yoo bee?
Halloo der! I haz a happee cuz I iz gettin marreed soon!
an haoh iz u?
I fink I will nom de kat!
Acceseriest make da outfit.
kitteh haz an pinkee noesis peejay!
Oh! Oh! You nose (!) wat dat meens…
*titens CRGie fingies*
Needz duckie taep?
Yesh, plz…butt nawt too much…
Heer goze!
:skriiitttcchhh:
:taep taep taep:
Dat nuff 4 u?
Shud b gud as long as we nawt mention da pinkie t-o-e-s.
(You know der deir)
Dah pinkie nozee iz a gib-awaee! O.O
I not so shur dat b nuff….
lemmii halp…..
* rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap,
* rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap,
* rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap.
Dhere, dat much bedder.
Oopsy. awlmost furgot deh breeving hole.
*snip.
OK!!
THATS WAT I MEANT BY NAWT TOO MUCH!!!
Boi — dats a gud twik PJ — How yoo talk sew loud wif yer mouf taped awl ups?? Iz yoo a Ventreelolokwist?
Dat wassa thought! Iz yoo a Sikiik?
test…test…dis be an test………
ohai peejay……….
happi kitteh haz pinkee noesis….
an pinkee toesis!!
“ggggeerrlelelllll sdldkklklllllgg”
wut wuz dat peejay?
mt mckinley iz correck ansur.
yu paz teh test…..hooray fur peejay
goe hed an luk at teh kitteh awl yew wantz….
nitey nite nao
*thinks “great, now I can look, butt I cannawt see fru all dis $%@# duckie tape”*
an wen yu git tirud ob dat yu kan goe ba wun lol an waach da moobie…………..
kthxbai
*thinks “I thought will boy was leevin” *
Oh nose!!! Nawt agin!!! Mi Beeyooteemus Cween — Last LOL (Oar so) I tried dis tekneek wif googie tape an Poor KCT hadda Bee soakified inna vat ub tape reemoober.
Doo yoo reelee fink dis muchee tapez iz neededed??
ur kwestyuning teh CWEEN??
Berry berry reespekfoolly — I jest finkin dat I musta dunded sumfink rong — mae bee I missed a stepz oar sumfink in da Super Duper Taper prosess …
*thinks really hard..”E_M, can you here my thoughts? Can you halp me outta hear?”*
*luks ober shoulderz* *luks up inna da air* *liks unner da tabol* Ifinkso dat heerz sumfink …. PJ Iz dat you???? *luks in udder room — hmmm whats dis lump ub tape wif two holes innit … *luks inna holes* eww — dose are nose holes …
PJ??? PJ??? lets mii go gets da vat un tape remoober …. *turns temp two HI*
*Thinks…Humph, dis iz lyke a full body wax…I can offer da smoove paw shake ob frenship* WOW dat’s hot!!
*Flotez frew in bublol
Dammm!! itz hot in heer!!!
Otay — ifink yoo iz cooked awl da wai – sew — you want ta tape pulled fastee or slowwwwwlllllllyyyyy???
Oh luk!! dere b pj!! wif nawt a splort in site!!!
I must say, I dew a fine rap!!
Hot and steemee Mii Cween!! Ifrum da stteemin tape remoober dat PJ bee soakin too remoob awl da tapes onn heem …
u shur datz a gud idea?? pj may just oooozzzeeee awl over deh plais…
Weelllll…. he wuz sendin mii mindee messages and he wanns out ub da tapes — An ifinkso he bee awl cooked now — so
*dumps out da tub* OHHHH he iz a bit oooooozzzzzeeeeeeee …..
*gets beed brush and brushbrush brushes PJ ta see wutz unnerr da gooooooiiiiieeeee tapes*
Ahhhhh… derz PJ — a leetol prunified, but nawt too ooooozzzzzeeeee — I’ll jest turns on da hot air driier
*thinks loudly “REMOVE DA TAPE WIFFAQUICKNUSS”*
Iz awl off PJ — wuz nice an ooooozzzzeee and jest beushed off — Are yoo drii yet??? Steel prunified???
Ooo fanx, E_M, an our majesty, I hassa smoove! Shudda dun dis before summertime. Chill!!
happikat aggsezorises wif cheeri tewmaturs
has not seened “attack of the Killer Tomatoes” recentlee…
Cherry tomatoooooohhhhhmmmmmm
Zen foodism…
Nom on-ay padme nohmmmmm
Oooooooohhhhmmmmcc I iz covred in t’maders!!
kitteh iz finking uv wut weel happin tew hooman hoo put doz der….
Kitteh nawt liek teh tommy toes.
Kitteh noze bunnees liek teh tommy toes.
Kitteh will purrtend tu be teh tommy toe plant tu lure the bunnees.
Kitteh lieks the bunnees.
Kitteh wate wif bayted bref!
I haz bekum wun wif teh tommytoes…awn mah toze!
Kitteh iz in himz happee playce
Wiff bellz on himz collar, an mates on himz toes, he shall habs muzik werefer he goes.
dis pikshur gibs me a happy.
Ohai, LM! glad yoo has a happy
today is yore day, aifinkso—-Mooonday!!!
Aka “LUNES”!!! (en espanyole)
*gigglols*
bai awl! sea u tewmauroe
an happi burfdai11!! LCB
nite, WB!!
Why does he have tomatoes on–
Ouch. Thinking too hard.
Jeengill Bell Kitteh
proatekkz Prittee Wun’z Gardenn
frumz awll introodurrz
Jeengill Bell Kitteh
amz Banilla Iees Creem wif
swirl ubz caramel
Jeengill Bell Kitteh
taykz no prisunnurrz. Datz wye
himz amz so serreen
Jack.
O noes kitteh! Runs awai! Iz trik, dey is jus garnushin u fer eats!
I can has sum zen, plz? Iz been a day frum BC.
U can haz zen yogi bear. Just nawt clean himz cage when him iz innit adn haz a hongree.
Teh day I has had, I mite be temptid to try jes dat.
Wanna vent? Oar just snorglol wif teh kittehs?
Howza about wii awl sendz our kittehs to yoo and yoo kin bee snorglolled bye elebenty hunnerds un kittehs?? An dey ael bee awn gud beehavyour sew ders no fitin — jest lubbin
I kno!
Y’all tayk up a kollekshun foar me to go awn bakaysun agin.
I’m due foar anuthur wun.
Howzabout as ICHC bacashun??? Onna LOL ub yer choise .. wii kin awl bee tour dierectorz an stuffz – jest furr da amoozmint ub our Red~!!!
It wud has to be at nite oar awn teh week-enz, cuz stoopy werk sez I nawt can haz Cheezburger durin teh day.
Stoopy werks! Dey nawt unnerstan pryoriteez!
Hmmm, Ai haz teh puzzlol frum mai crooz tu ‘laskaz U can haz. Oar whuts left uf mai goggies choo toi frum last bakayshun.
I wuz finkin of moar lyk munnies….
I haf sum tikkets from da Enchantamated Castle — dey kin bee tradified furr prizes – stuffs likee inbiseeibobbol inks and kandies and laba lamps…
Dats “lyk” munnies …
no Red doo nawt let Yogi eets yoo — kin nawt beez dat bad!!!1 tellz us wii weel haps yoo….
I woked up layte an in bad mood, wuz almoast layt foar werk.
Co-werkers gotted awn my nerbs.
Hadda go to Lex an fite teh traffik – construkshun eberyware!
Hadda low tyre an tryed to put aire innit – twice. It ended up basiklee flat an I ended up beggin teh guy at Wal-Mart to put sum aire innit – aftur teh auto care playse clozed.
Den, I got anuthur speedin tikkit.
Whhoooo Weeeee … dats a bad dai… Ifinkso wii needz ta sendz you da kittehs and den you haf ta takes a hot baf and tri awl ober agin tomorea
Oh, an I gotz elebenty-hunnert ’skeetur bytes awn me an dey itch…..an I nawt can tayk Benadryl cuz it noks me awn my arse.
Oh, an I finkso I has teh pee-em-ess…
Well, I’ve had a first here at well. Leash went off, and I go busting outta the shop……..and come within 3 inches of knocking the…..stuff…..out of Rob Thomas. Yeah, my brush with fame is nearly knocking the Main Act tonight out.
ROB THOMAS?!?!?!
I knew I shudda been sumware eles today….
Dan – Ifn u run in2 him agin, tell him I lyk teh noo album.
ohai SHD – eye sint yu a messij abowt dat sho…eye hazza FB fren whu is dere…small whirld.. aifinkso.
U nawt haz tu dribe hoem awn teh frozed raynes tudai, diju? Wii haz teh frozed raynes heer.
No, butt iz gettin coldur heer an DO NAWT WANT!
Wii nawt ‘pozed to see 70 awl week.
Whether wimmin sez Wii nawt can haz 50 awl week.
Brrrrrr!
Plz to stay warmz!
I finkso I mite hook up my heetid mattriss pad soon.
ohai frenz! um. haz teh cween runned out of teh dukky taype yet?
*looks around nervously*
um. well. ai thawt ai had sumpthin tew say, but. um. may have forgotted,
kthxbai!
*grabz sh and schmooifyingz hur wif a kwikness*
Oh Hai!! {{{sh}}} How b deh Troll tuday??
*comes owt from unner teh bed*
Ohai, mai cween! um, ai playjariz…um…rote yew a poem? bai way of makin ammends fer lass nite? um… ifn yew iz wantin tew heer it. of course!
I lubz deh poetreez!! plz tu telling mii it.
hmmm. mebbe we can haz all eye ants? Vines Unite!
Antz dat iz awl eyez??? haz u bin watching deh sci-fi channel agin??
nippin at teh Skotch aifinkso.
*looks at botlol*
nope
*holds botlol up to lite*
it’s gdreen [in Scotty's accent]
Okay, befoar ai looses all kurrij, an pleez tew be excuzin teh terrible tiping (becuz teh baron borked mai keybored las nite wif his fluffy wite butt, an ai had to stea… um …reallocate teh troll’s nasty Ergonomic keyboard this mornin) (an was late tew work, an won’t eben go into what happened to the ainshent work comuter when teh admiral played “happy birfday” on lcb’s crystal!)
OK, naow, heer iz teh cween’s poem:
Sunny cat, sunny cat, where haz yu bin?
“ai bin tew cheezland tew visit teh cween!”
Sunny cat, sunny cat, what did yew there?
“Sir Kul kikked my smart @ss down teh dunjon stair!”
Sunny cat, sunny cat, then happened wut?
“Teh Baron von wite bear borked my keyboard wif his fluffy wite butt!”
it. um, loses sum of teh lyricism in teh last stanza, butt! iz truly hartfelt!
He he he!!!
Berry gud, sunny!
Butt, who iz Baron Von White Bear?
Oh, an sawry,,, wuz a post last week. Teh Baron von Witebare is a liddle wite teddy taht teh tr0ll gabe me on our first valentines day, him luks affer me win teh tr0ll iz away. 14 years, an can still bownce hiz fluffy wite butt on a keybored win his sunny needs him!
Lubs dis pome, SH!
Butt! before ai gets any feedback from my lousy poetry, ai haz tew be saying! Taht iz NAWT wut ai came heer tonite tew be sayin!
An wut ai am sayin iz! ai came heer tonite wif a MESSAJ!
Ifn yew will pleez be tew lissening?
ai noe ai am a verrrry gnu cheezpeep, an yew awl embrasing me an luvving me haz been a verry important ting in mai life!
And!ai no this iz a verry majikol an wunnerful place, an awl teh heeling beems you sent my tr0ll werked!
SO! AN THIS IZ TEH IMPORTANT PART! SO PLEEZ TEW BE LISSENING
Ai has promissed mai fren, Bluesfan, that, ifn ai had any moar mirakles, ai wud gladly gib her won. But… am nawt shur taht ai do.
So, an this is teh important part, since teh majik of ichc works so well,,,
pleez to reset yur beems from “healing” tew “luck wif teh employment” and pleez tew be sending them as hard as yew can!
an, ai haz tew be adding, efen wif teh dunjon and awl, lass nyte wuz won ov teh moas wunnerfus an majikol of my life! ai treasures it in bubbol rap rite by my hart. So! Taht iz wut ai reely came heer tonite tew be sayin…pleez tew be sending those wunnerful, majikol beems tew bluesfan, cuz they WERK!
*realigninging majiklol beems fro bluesfan*
*reel lining majiklol beems for cheezfren BLOOSFAN,2*
{{{Bluesfan}}}
Am sendin teh employment gud lukky beems to Bluesfan, an hopin teh whole of cheezland iz tew!!!!!!!
{{{{{bf}}}}}
Me too…{{{{{{bf}}}}}}
Adn mii. *beems on hi for Bluesfan*
Sunnyhuckle’s thotful request noted! *Beems for Bluesfan on teh way, wif good wishes for all Cheezpeeps presently dealing with aggravations*
i b sendifying deh gud job beemz tu BluesFan!!
{{bf}}}
ohai! this iz teh baron! Sunny haz been ofercome wif taht last effort, an ai am putting her tew bed. An. noe. this
‘ergonomic” keybored iz NAWT enny softer awn my fluffy wite butt!
G’nite sunnyhuckklol!
{{{{{sh}}}}}
{{{{Baron Von White Bear}}}}
gud nite, sleep tite, sunny and fam!
ohai, is sunny. haz nawt been able tew stop crying for hours now. am getting verry scairt, an donut wut tew do… if cannot pull myself together for werk 2morrow, will lose our last grasp on our real life,,,CANNOT LOSE MAI JOB NOW!
jus won moar day naow, an den won moar, an den one moar an mebbee one moar? an den will be awl rite? pleez? pleez? ai reely need it tew awl be awl right. ai reely reely need it tew being awl right. PLEEZ?
Ohai, sunny, wat iz up wiff ye job? You need a brake!! {{sunny}}
{{{{all ob sunny’s problems}}}}
Ohai Sunnyhuckle !! Ai hoap yu r orlreddi sleepign. Ai can tel u need tu kepe in control nd sleep wil halp yu du taht. If yu hab cryd fur hours, tehn it is tiem tu let it pass, tu taek slow, deep and calm breaths nd let sleap of exhaustion overkum yu.
Yu need tu be staying strawng, eben tho yu ar scared at teh moment. Pleez du taht for yorself nd let strength overkum teh worree becoz yu kno taht iz wot wil get yu thru.
Yor frenz online ar tihnking of yu and ai hoap yu also look tu yor real-life frenz for their comfort just nao. Hospitals nd churches can put yu in tutch wiv volunteerz, sew doan be ‘fraid tu ask tehm for halp.
Take care and sleep well. {{Sunnyhuckle}}
Fan q, pb, I didnit no wat to say.
{{{{{sunnyhuckle}}}}} pleeez nawt tew bee wurryin fer meh, taik cair uv ur seff. Haz u seen ur dr. tinycat laytlee? Wif teh stress u haz maybee hii cahn gib u sumfin tew halp? Ai amma sawree tew heer ur jawbplaice is nawt bein unnerstandin uv wat ur goin fru
Ai appresheeate sew mush ebreewuns beems bein direktd tew meh butt…*holds up beeg shiny mirror an bownsis teh beems bak tword sunny*
pleez tew cawl dr tinycat as suun as u cahn, mai frend? iz noething rong wif needin sum halp tew git ober lyfes bumps.
oops, tawt ai was alone. usually, when ai haz a feelbad, ifn ai do a gud for someone else it makes it better. doan no wut wen rong lass nite, juss so tired, an family taht was halpin is awl borked, an i am so tired. Slep late this mornin an woke tew a real pretty song ai has jus been heerin lately. Goes… oh brooklyn brooklyn take me in, are you aware the shape ime in? my hands they shake, my head it spins, oh brooklyn brooklym take me in> will be a bedder day, was really jus a rant to cc an bc, fankee for caring ♥♥♥
{{{sunnyhuckle}}}
Sendin u lots of snorgles
ai appresheeate it sew mush, fank u {{{{sunny}}}}
See da cherry tomater… be da cherry tomater. Ommmmmm
Ooops…nawt huggin sunny’s problems; {{{solutions}}}
BUCKEROO!!1!
tomatoe meditashuun♪maik mi happi …..?…………… ……. ……….wun
Love the smile!
Looks like the happiest cat in the world.
Does anyone know what breed of cat this is?
I could seriously look at this site if you all didn’t speak like babies.
that cat is great who ever took it should send it to the ellen show she would , mite send back some money pupa