CENTERPIECE
CENTERPIECE exactly where a cat should be
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: MBG via Poster Builder
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
An berry dekratib!
conga rats ehgen, anni!
Thx. An congrats 2 u 2!
Ohai anni, ai reeded dat de-trak-tib
*snerk*
Dat 2!
dat wud bii undekrahtib!
Ai red fikshunkitte’s commint as de-strak-tib! (distracting)
Dat 2!!
CenterPeece iz fashunablee Awf Center!
Luks tres Art Nouveau!!
We shud hav an ELLIE Gant Lunch/supper fur annipuss an catena!
We can has
Alfamabet soop (hoam maed wif hand cut noodles!)
Beetz, pikkloled
Chikken Kief
D. . .
Doefin taterz
Eggz
Feesh
G…
Gudifeh choklitz
Hamburgahs (wif cheez)
Ies kreme
Juleen saludz
K…
Diamond-encrusted rainbow trouts
Emerald-glazed pea pods
Faberge egg sallads
G…
hally butt (!!)
icey cweemz
jelliebeenz
katchatorry wif teh chikins inz itt
L …
Wif Rit chu L Fyre music in bakgroun.
wud yu laik a nys glas uv toccata wif teh katchatorry an?
snerk! (um, whut whiine iz dat?) iz pleezed to C U noticed mah ree mark.
Gem-kubbered cuppycaeks
Hunny garlick ribs
Ivery culllered radishes
Jewel-red jelly
K…
Lazzania
mastachado
Noooodlz wif chikken
Oreoz
P…
Pi , awl kineds
Queesh
Rum caekz
Spinnatch sallad
T…
Taters, smashed, ol’grottin, bakd, fronchfried, etc.
Unyun rings
Vejetibbles wif six kinds of dip
W….
Wilted lettiss (wun ob my momcat’s fabrits)
X-cellent vejtabobble soop
Yams, wif brown shooger an marshymellows
Zabaglione!
.
JCH4K, we has a kitteh hoo lieks to get up on teh tablol wen nobuddy is lukkin. We calls him our “furry orinj off-centerpeece.”
.
Wyte spare-a-gus
Xtra butter
Yellow tomaytoz
Zoo-key-knee catserole!
Tah-dah!
Ooh!! maeks mah teef itch!!
Nyce fur teh lite-towed secund storey … um … kitteh.
wud Ndeed B ele E gant. Butt (@!@) die jest ible, nawt sew much.
Butt (whut Ai rote) it wud be just rite for teh Lolcalburglar, no?
saxee polush dere, kitteh!
What are the blue things on the cat’s claws?
They’re soft paws. Little vinyl caps that glue to the claws to help prevent scratching.
Do they have them here in Canada?
They are online. And most large pet store chains carry them. So check there or at the V-E-T.
Luk don’t tuch!
dish my friend, Lumiere
Beautee an teh Beest ref!!! FTW!!!!!11!!
♪Be our guest, be our guest
Can haz gushie fuds-our best!♪
Ebreewun will wwant wun!!!
♪Be our guest, be our guest
We serve gushie fuds: teh best!
oopsie, duplol cat post…sowy
Ai thot yoo were just repreezing!
Test! Ai’m beeing blokked!!
I’m on ur table classin’ up ur shabbies.
i was going fur shabby shiek.
Teh Shiek of Turrible?
oar tabbeee sheek?
O hai, guise. I can has two announcements, plz?
Announcement teh 1th: There will be a Cheezmeet on Sunday Oct 11, somewhere in or between Warshington DC and Richmond VA, wif vry special guest from teh West, Tessm! Details to be detailed. E-mail me at teh lolcatburglar at gmail dot com if ur interested and give me ur preferred meeting location. kthxwhutfun!
Announcement teh 2st: I has one of those birfday things coming up in one week. (thx) I would like to add a hunnert and fifty moneys by then to teh memorial fund for my Esme and Jethro to support teh shelter they camed from. Even one or two moneys would halp a lot. kthxclickhere (Of course, donating a money, ur time or old towels to ur own local shelter is teh grate, too!)
LCBCanHasAsMenneeNounceMintzAsSheWants!!
kthxbutthat’salltehannouncementsihasattehmoment.
Iz a Guest frum teh West sumwhat laik a Blast frum teh Past????
duz her has eh brome?
Kinda-sorta. To honor our Guest from teh West we’ll has a Feast in teh East!
Only peeps have to pipe up so we know when and where to has it.
Wish I cud attend butt (snerk) it’s a bit far from where ai libs.
But… but… if u start hunch-straitening now, u could make it by then.
Hunch-straiten-splash! Hunch-straiten-splash??
teh cattel pigglees at the end ob ‘Mothra’ cood do taht…
swim taht iz…
Ai wuz finnkin teh saem fink!
Doan’t fink Ai can swim dat fur!
*sighs*
Ok, peeps whut might be in teh proximity has to pipe up.
I has piped, but it wud still be a REALLY long day for me, and teh day after a beerfest… so I would has to be a mabbeh, depending on where you has it and how I feels teh next morning. So plz not to change ur plans for me, but I does want to know what you decides just in case!
U’re teh main reason for teh possible change of venue to Richmond, but if u can’t make it we’ll make up a effigy of u or something. I’m sure PdB and/or Igor has some parts we could use, even!
eep! I wasn’t sure but I was wondrin about that!
burning in f a g…. do not want!!
* wonders if there is a trane she cud catch *
Lookslike teh train takes longerer than teh driving.
Not to worries ifn’ it doesn’t work out this time; we can has other Cheezmeets other times. Just not wif our vry special Guest from teh West!
* sigh * iffn ownlee ai hadded a reech phlonquer… ai cud bii dere…
but but but den… ai wud no longer bii an IPM!!! Plz tu cancel taht thort, fankies!
*pictures piggeh doing teh jiggly “If I Had a Rich Boss” danse from “Tiddler on teh Roof”*
*has a horrified*
“EEEF ai hadda reech boss…”
Wayt, whut? Hao does taht go?
is eet liek…
“eeef ai wus a reech man…”
“diddle iddle iddle iddle iddle umm”?
wud haz tu dansdansdans wif cat on hed – laik teh wun in teh lasst lol.
*nods*
He’d be in teh nawty barn, jiggling and stomping and scaring Petunia and teh YNGs.
I thot he’d be having a sawna put in next to teh hot tub in ur backyard
NO DANCING IN TEH SAWNA!
* jigglols littlol hips wib hunnert dollar towel arownd waste *
but but but… otay… * scampersawaiwibasadness *
If u slip and fall and brake
bothall ur legs dansing in teh sawna, don’t come running to me.wheel mai in shore rents cubber eet at leest?
*checks piggeh’s “insurance”*
U has 3 Hello Kitteh bandages left in ur plan.
ooo 3???
* throws cawshun tu teh wind *
OW! HAY! Watch where ur throwing that caution.
* steeks a plastur ober LCB’s mask *
LCB is plastured???
I is not so *hic* think as u plastered I is!
OK, Ai’ll pipe doun!
Ai is in teh proximity but (!) is alreddy comitt… commit.. alreddy has pwomised awl mi tiem dat day.
.
Otter wise (yesh, dey are) I wood luv to being part uv teh Cheezmeet.
PFFT! Hao cud yu letting meh forgit??? KWIK!!! Fetching mai soapbawx… ai wheel has tu doing a nownsmint!
Huh? Whut? Ai donut no!!! Ai wheel maek sumfing up!
AHEM! Err… well… yesh… err…
GuinnessPiggehkinmakinganwonsminttuplxthx
Yesh… umm… err… awn teh umm… * shuffles sordid paypurs * ah yesh… awn teh 5st Oktobrrr awn teh… * shuffle * 6AM Cheezthyme LOL wii is gonna has a nite ob Mysery fur LCB’s baff dai!
huh? whut? o, wayt… * skwinks at paypurs *
O yesh, taht’s rite… Wii kin has a Burger Mystery Nite fur LCB’s Burfdai!!! O, yesh yesh yesh!!!
So, plz tu bii at NOM fur 6AM Cheezthyme dressed in yur fynest cocktayl dresses adn tuckspeedos fur a berry, BERRY speshul burfdai dinnur!!!
Umm… mai colleeges adn ai wheel bii a littlol beet layte… wii has sum… err… mystereeus fings tu du… but but but plz tu gibbing yur prezunts adn singing yur sawngs adn doing yur dans dans dans adn wii wheel being heer as soon an wii umm… finish whut wii has tu doing…
uh huh… yesh.
Fankies.
Cheezmenz in tux speedoz!!??!?!?!! Yum!!!
*pikshures GP in a speedo an bow tie*
*laffs historikly*
Wy noebuddees caem tu mai burfdae?
*hassa sadniss*
Burfdae Fairee brottid lawts ob fings foar hassin teh partee, butt nun ob yu caemd.
*berree sad sye*
Stoopee burfdaes. Ai nawt habbin ennee moars.
*goes bak tu RL wif teh hevee hart*
Plz to not has a sad! Teh birfday fairy is the vry good at teh daily party stuffs. Mabye ur birfday was on a day when teh peeps whut knoes u wasn’t here lots?
If u want a big hoopla, u has to do whut I dids: hedbat ur phlonquais until he grayshusly agrees to throw a party fr u.
Plz to come to my party and sit next to me and share in teh funs? Plz?
yesh yesh!!
there will bee, as yooshul, too much caek and too many presentz so we can give some to nicewitch ifinkso! somethin extra shinee maybe…..???
srsly nicewitch, LCB has been a speshul cheezfriend for longer than I has been here, and she DUZ have her own phlonquais…we just needs some heds up sometimes… ur birf date is not on ur profile, when was it??
“Too… many… presents… ?” That does not compute.
*has a confused, raps a hot towel around hed, has a lie-down*
*knoes whose hed that was, but isn’t saying. STN.*
*sniff*
Mai burfdai wuz awn dis passt Caturday, teh twennee-sixht, awn teh ‘obnokshus kitteh kiips stairin at me’ lol … an … an …*sniffl* … ownlee Burfdae Faeree caemd. *sobgulp* An … an … ai ownlee tuk mai burfdaet awf mai prowfyl tudae an its bin dere ebber sins ai joynd *sniffl* an nao ai doan wannit tu be dere cuz ai nawt habbin burfdaes *sob* ennee moar cuz noebuddee caers an … an … ai doan gots ennee phlonquais *sobsmoar* tu hedbat intu
neksweekgibbin mii teh partees an *snifflsob* ai doan wants ennee ob LCB’s prezzints *sniff* cos doas bees foar LCB cos *sniff* ebreebuddee lubs LCB (incloodin mii) an nobuddee lubs mii!!!WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
*kolapsis dramatiklee intu teh littol Krumpild Bawl ob Grate Sadniss*
*luks up foar teh mowmint*
Insidintlee, teh RL burfdae sukkt prittee mush teh saem. Jus FYI.
*kolapsis dramatiklee (agayn) etc., etc.*
(I see someone has been studying at teh Drama Piggeh School of Overacting.)
Well, see, there u go. Havening ur birfday on a Caturday is not teh good idear. Peeps isn’t around as much and many of teh ones who is is often just passing thru. My IRL birfday was on a Sunday last year. I was just braking in my phlonquais then and so my party was combined wif someone else’s birfday and someone different else’s weddinge. AND I had to announcify it all over teh place just to be included in that!
Now get up off teh flore, u doesn’t know who’s been there. We all lubs u of coarse. Here, has this shiny birfday thingy which I
steeledbuyed just for u!*jumps up*
Ooooo … shinee!!! Umm … ai meens *snifflhic* … wel,
*semmee-kolapsis agin*
*bak ob handpaw tu foarhed*
… sins yu bees sew kynd …. Ai has awlwaes reelyd upawn teh kyndniss ob straynjurs … (o waet, rong show). Purrhaps ai wil reecawn sitter mai pawsishun awn dis mattur …
*stretchis*
*nek craks*
*bak crunchis*
Ooof – ‘littol crumpild bawls’ get tuffer ebree yeer! An, if yu fink dis wuz gud, waet til yu sees hao ai duz Krissmiss!! Brings ‘em tu teers ebree tiem!
BRB – gotta repoast mai birfdaet foar neks yeer
’s show.Ur drama ticks iz klose tu meye ree akshun todai, finking uv strangness of IRA and (shhhh –me).
Cars won’t let wun kill self,
doesn’t has gas into haus,
not can use a nife (shudder),
duzznt has a gun….
Oh, rope DUzzn’t haz rope eever.
An no watter deep enuff tu droun self in.
In fac, iz ackshully healfy plaice tu live.
If wun wunted tu live (Aw iz bearing hart, long affter iz ennywun aroun to see, so is safe tu ree veel.)
*O NOESSS !!! Com bak. nicewitch! Wehn wuz yur burfday??? When did we miss it???
Pleez hav moar burfdaiz – tehy ar kwite nesessessess airy.
Ai am so sorree. Can we still hav a partee?? Sumtaims, awnlee teh burday fairee noes fur shur – an tehn . . . oh, pleeze donut hav a beeg sad!
*taeks donut an putz a big candlol in teh middlol*
It’s choklit cuvered~
An heer’s a sawng just fur yoo!
♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥
♥
♪HAPPEY BELAYTED BIRFDAY TO YOO ♫
♫ HAPPEY BELAYTED BIRFDAY TO YOO
HAPPEY BELAYTED BIRFDAY ♪ DEER NICEWITCH ♫
♫ HAPPEY BELAYTED BIRFDAY TO YOOOOOOUUUUU!! ♫♫
♥
♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥♫ ♥ ♪ ♥ ♫ ♥ ♪ ♥
Ant-teek road show valuez teh kitteh at elebentee thousund dollarz. A reel treasure! Teh candul stiks…not sew much.
Luks lyke dem candul stiks haz pointee endz tu.
mush moar beeyouteemuss sennturpees tehn a froot bowlol, donutyu fink? Aifinkso …
*puts awn t-r-o-l-l mask*
ahem! but a fruit bowl won’t shed in your food! Yuck!
*taeks awf stinky mask, gassps fer ayr*
pew!11!! dose fings are teh stinky!
ai wuz ownlee finkin abowt teh essth … aesthut … teh pretty muss stufz – tu hawrd tu fink ob teh prak tickle stufz onz teh Moan dae.
Kitteh mush prittyer dan froot. Oh, yesh.
Ree kawls teh storee uv immmegrint boi whus granma said she wonted “foot boll” 4 her birthdai.
He hears it “football” an buys her wun, polishes all nyce, gibs it tu her.
Ai finks dat the grannE iz nyce about it, don no Y Ai dont member dat part.
Mom always told me to wash mah pawz befoar dindin
Blue claws?!
Prolly they is teh Soft Claws.
Aifinkso ai wudz need sum kitteh trankw…tran…um…comming-daon meddysin tu get tohse fings awn mai kittehs. Butt(snerk) if yew started wen dey’s bebes it wud werk grate!
Ai adgrees, mai kittehs donut stands fur eben a peddy cyoor (nayl trimmin) lets aloan akrilik fings
*skrach skrach hiss skamper awai*
I didn’t know declawing was still legal
teh vetts noe laik tu du itz, butt (!!) ifz peeplol aks, tehy du, at lees wair ai livz. mai kitteh wuz declawded wenn shih doptifieded mih – butt (!!) taht wuz a lawwwwwwnnng tym allgone.
is yu living in Ingle-land? Is not legul tehre. Is still legul in USA but most vets will try to tawk peeps owt of it. Only if choice is deklaw vs. animul sheltur will most vets do.
my vet will doing it, but for teh same prise az to spay two an a haff kittehs. very egg spensib. (i not aksded, i oberheerd teh desk lady telling sumwun ober teh fone)
(but teh soft-claws are not de-clawing, tehy are soft plastik caps to putting ober teh claws)
It dos ecksplain why teh peeps dont wurry abowt teh lasie tabulcloth. I dont fink I cud get even 1 on BlooMax OR Simon, tho.
azz lawng azz teh kitteh noe getz crabby …
uhhh…. y r teh clawses BLOO?????….
Softpaws.com They be claw cuvrs to keep kitteh from shreding tings. I use t’em meself!
Tehy mayk tehm en peeplol syz??
Dunno if anybuddy saw dis on da last LOL so ai says it agin:
Ohai and gud mornin’ ebrybuddy! I wunts to send owt a spechul thanks to da cheespeeps who reskued me last nite:
cweenmj
pj
catena
4piont5K
Griffyn
onions and petunias
Cassidy
Mary0spockin, aaaaandd
Janet
{{{{{{{{cheezpeeps}}}}}}}}
I slept very well last nite knoing dat I had yu guys by mi side.
Ohai chocochick! Ai axed dis awn teh las thred butt (!) ebreewun wuz alreddy playin ober heer. Haow iz ur mama? she iz otay naow ai hoap?
Dr. gave her loritab, a payne-killur. but she still hurts a lawt, ebun when she’s on it. My daddeh took her to see a specialist today. Thanks for caring!
{{{{{{{{chocochick87}}}}}}}}
Neber underestimate deh power uv cheezpeepz!!!
Yu is moast welkums. Glad we could help.
.
{{{{{{{{{{Chocokitteh}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Chocokitteh’s mom an her dad, too}}}}}}}}}}
Oh, silly mee! Is {{{{{{{{{{Chocochick}}}}}}}}}} and {{{{{Chocochick’s mom an her dad, too}}}}}}}}}}
.
I iz sorree I gotted yur name rong.
Wai yesh, ai IZ teh cenner uv teh unniberse, fanks fer finlee noticin!
Centurr Peess Kitteh
feeknz t3h hoal Wurrld reevawlvz ‘rowndz
hurz andz hurz amz ryte!
Beeg Non Nom Taybill
beelawngz Centurr Peess Kitteh
sinzz hurz wuz liddill
Centurr Peess Kitteh
coodz fyndz Shynee Deevyssez
oarz juss taykz a Napz!
Jack.
Teh Seezar MIllan seyz dat everfing N haus bElawngs tu the hoomins and nawt tu the goggie. Is tu keep goggie frum haard wurk uv havin tu run teh haus an everywun in it.
He nawt tawk about kittehs then, maybee kittehs lyke dis wun are teh reeson.
Hey! I keeps gettin “Netwurk Errors” when tryin to navigate to annuder payge or leave a comment. Anybuddy else have dis problum?
Nope, it was just me. It wuz doin it tu awl mi tabs an I just dinna notice. Restarted teh laptop nao and it is wurking beautifully!
yay, i lubs it wen teh pyooter majikly fikses itself!
Awl ur attenshunz are belong to meh (or at leest dey shud!).
am I the only one that is wondering why the cat has blue claws?
We think they’re “Soft Claws.” There’s a reference and a link further up the thread.
Kissin your hand tu sumwun, yr’re doing it rong!
Pretty nailses, kitteh!
Dats rite!! (memry lite bulb goews awn)
Ai wunce hadded teh blu nayle polish too!
Are my eyes deceiving me or is this kitty wearing blue nail polish?
the blue things are indeed softclaws/softpaws
iz my kitteh, so i know
oooo modest too.