Umpire kitteh
Umpire kitteh callz you “SAEF!”
Picture by: 707gatos Caption by: JCCStarguy via Advanced Lol Builder
« Previous All you can eat bufeh | Well this is going much Next »
» 116 comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Network Blog
Ya home run!!
cormgranulashunz, klwu! Woodnut ewe lik a marveluz vodka dink wit ewer kan-o-peez?
Sure, ai didns eben kneow ai had kan-o-peez
SAFE!
Ohai fukshunkitteh, has we met? Yu has kyoot abitar
wu muss has met
yu is awn my frends list 
Aifinkso, butt (!) in cays nawt… *Extends furry pink paw ob frenship* Fanks, ai lyks yur bailygog, cyoot!
othx
hims got hair cut a week ago… Ai has funny piksure ob him showin his tru colorz 
Neet pixure, Kerri! Baily looks metallic-shinee! (Adn teh red-eyez adn shinee coat give him a sort of “Termin-8-or Puppeh” look…)
ai jus luv it wens yu gets a pik liek taht wun.. iz tuu funneh
*wispurs* klwu~we is teh frenz alreddy, butt (!) yew can neber has two menny manors
yesh aifinkso tu
butt (!) hoo’s awn nawt-sekkund??
Whut?
Whutz on terd.
*snerk* yoo sed ‘terd’
Ohnoes, heer cum teh scatolojikul jokes… *hides unner teh cowch*
Wurd!
Da burd iz da wurd!!
Burd, burd, burd, ai sez de burd iz de werd. . .
Oh. yeah, yeah burd, burd, burd, ewe know de burd iz de wurd! (1979!)
Burdie burdie in teh sky…
Kom awn eberybawdee, yew gno teh rest.
Doan wanna disapoynt PK, dew wii?
wut’s awn sekkund
Yer rite!! I dunno’s on turd. (*snerk*)
*kicks dirt on umpire kittehs, um, shoos*
fwow teh bumm owt!
Teh kittehs win teh gayme!
Ohai Red. Haw is teh dini tudai? (oar did she show U a diffrunt naem)
Ohai, WRr!
I gibbed updayt awn prevyus lol.
Hur is still Dini.
Ur noo kitteh is Dini? Daz naice. Gladd et awl wurked aout and u got eech udder! Concatchewlayces tu boffe!
eggscept dat kitteh luks aowt!!!
And him warez spots, not stripes.
You can call me saef, juss done call me kyute!
…oar layte foar dinner.
…An don’t call me Shirley.
…oar uh cab.
…oar collect.
And PLZ!! doan b kawlling mii collect askin fur munneez!!
And PLZ!! doan b kawlling mii collect askin fur munneez fur mai huzbinz nawt sekkund wife!!
Stoopee growd up (?) step chillunz!!!!!
Maibee dem oughta ckeekin tew sea iffin ewe needa sumptin. Lika hug.
{{{{{{{cweenmj}}}}}}
Jes in case.
{{{{{{{op_sMama}}}}
Likewise.
Dese kittehs play beizbol, nawt hockee. Beizbol umpyrs doant ware stripes
Hokkee nawt haz umpires, haz refs. An yur poynt iz? Oar yur poynt uv ref?
Footballlers hab refs. An dey ware stripes.
Ai fink awl sportz iz buddrer direktallie pruporshunat to how liddle de playorz iz. Dey mizz, Dey runz de rong wai. Ewe falz off de tailgait an chockz on a dullar hotdog! Hooooorraayyy! Gud time!
Keelda umpyr!
It be a seben wai brayd…off to teh ty booteek….
*skips sif a happetayle hums inaa hed*
Kitteh slides intu home, fur the winning run!!!
ai donut finkso teh kitteh awn teh bottum iz saef atawl, speshullee frum teh umpyre! Oar izzit vampyre?
“I vant to call u safe. Blah!”
speekin uv nawt safe. dere iz a beri fritenin developmint evolvin onna pankaek lol.
da trolls r bekuming selfs-awear !!!!!!!!!!! ..:shock:
ai due nawt noe wut dis meens fur da phewchur ob uz awl……..ai haz an beeg skerrid. wut wil happens now?
hmm…motiekahn failure pears tu bee wun ob da cide effeks
self-awaer trolls? But hao can tehy be trolls if self-aware? *haz a confuzzled* *haz been carefully avoiding teh thred, but may haz tu go luk nao*
iz bout hab whey doun de tred.
troll naimed Stephen Ogley polologizes
fur hims behabyurs!
Not a very sincere apology, aifinkso.
ya ai has nawt been keepin up aifinkso ai missed it… probaby gud ting tho
akshully ai findz da trolls kinda ahmusin….
az longe az dere r noe duks oar guuzes involbed
Hay!! sum uf us is edjimacated!!!
Not the one who listed “toxoplasmosis, psittacosis, and ringworm” as the major risks. O.o I was going to just peek, but I couldn’t let that slip by, I just couldn’t. *sob* And then I just had to answer a couple more. I… I… I fed the trolls!!!
(PS, psittacosis is birds, toxoplasmosis is incredibly common but each cat only sheds it for a few days once in their life and it’s only dangerous to a pregnant woman who has never been exposed before or to someone with a compromised immune system, and ringworm is a fungus that the vet should darned well be treating.)
O, hay, PK? Is it signifmacant if a kitteh starts sleeping wif its hed down on the floor or between its front paws?
Nawt in an uv itself… kittehs sleep in awl kindsa posishuns. Iz ennyfing else unusual?
Myne Pookie cat haz awlways sleeped wif hyme forehead down. Wii used tu joke dat hii haded a sleep button dere, cause hii wuld put hyme forehead awn yur leg, or arm, or da couch, etc and den prompley go awf tu sleeps!
Not rly, no. I was watching Loam nap just now with his nose between his streteched-out front paws and rembering this comment. Liam does seem more inclined lately to bury his face under my shirt when he comes for a hug. He had a ear infection a while ago (months) and sometimes seems to shake his hed but it’s hard to tell if it’s cause his ears hurt or just cause.
Um, That’s “Liam”, not “Loam”. He was on my lap and I was typing one-handeded.
Ai unnerstand… part uv replai got retyped coz a small black non-Cory kitteh halpfully turned awn mai capslok an tureneD>>>>up teh volumeqDSDESAW
Hm… if you look in his ears, do you see any redness, any sign he’s been scratching at them, any swelling, any kind of gunky build-up? If you rub his ears, does he lean into it or away from it? Is he tilting his head to one side frequently, is it the same side, and/or is he rubbing that side against the floor or furniture or walking in circles with that side down? Any sign of eye discharge or nasal discharge or sneezing? (Ear canal and sinuses are connected, and tear ducts too.)
If the ONLY thing you’re seeing is him sleeping in a different position, and a bit of shaking I wouldn’t worry about it but I would keep an eye on the shaking. also, dunno about your weather but it’s suddenly cooler here and it’s almost the fall equinox so shorter days… it’s possible he’s reacting to that.
He’s a orange tabby so redness is hard to detect. I has been keeping a eye on teh ears for a whiles now because when teh vet finded teh ear infection I hadnot noticed *anything* (it was when he wented for his annual checkup/shots.) He not has eye goop or scratching or any of teh other stuffs. I just worry bout my bebbehs, u know.
Ai gno, beleev me. *nodnodnodnod*
If him scratching at eers or shaking a lot, myte consider a quick vet visit just tu rool out recurrence, since vet has otoscope an can look deeper — duz yu gno where teh eer infekshun was? Outer, middle, inner?
Dunno. Treatment was drops u keep in teh fridge and warm up by putting between ur *whispers* boobies.
doan yu mean “natchoor-cooshins”
Nawt shur what drops, altho is gud way tu warm stuff (unner armpit wurks tu, fur tey anatomikallee-challinjed mens).
Ennyway, keep an eye owt fur lots uv shaking oar sneezing oar enny uv teh uvver stuffs. Ai dunno what taht purson waz tawking abowt… cannawt diagnose ennyfing frum kitteh sleep posishun. Yu seend sum uv teh posishuns kittehs can get intu tu sleep comfurtablee???
*adn teh anatomikallee-challinjed womens tu aifinkso*
**flips threw reading material in waiting room**
Wut’s this?
Handbook foar teh Recently Deceased
**lissens tew mewzak**
beetuljuis beetuljuis beetuljuis
(awlsoe thrd trii postun dis…)
Oh my CC, what an unhappi bunch dey are obber dere! Wuz happi tu escape dat playse. Iffin I want tu bii unhappi, I wuld just go back tu wurk!
Dats jus TUU funneh!
Trollz aer askeered ub kitteh kootiez, putin awn hazmat suits tu pets dem aifinkso!
Teh umpyr strikes bakk!
Nawt hard tew bii saef wen no wun tryin tew tag yew.
Hmmm…**pawnders where basedefender iz dat iz trying tew tag kitteh**
Mehbee izza liddlol catipiller playin sekkund base,
and baserunner kitteh skwishified her. *eep*
PLZ TU NAWT SKWISH UPFI!!!!!!
Oh, teh hyooj manatee!!! *faynts*
**fans PK with umpire plate-broom**
Hmmm…dats nawt wurking.
Butt(!) luk hao dust free her foarhed iz.
Ifinkso awl da other players wondered off tu inbestigate a butterfly or sumfing shiney.
Hotdog wrappers.
Hotdogs! Git yur hotdogs! Peanuts! Icey cold coca-cola!
Beer heer!
I gots cowld beer heer!!
Yo! Chateaubriand for 2 over heer!
Take me out to teh ball game!
Buy me some peanuts nd kracker jacks nd other sordid noms!
For it’s WOOT WOOT WOOT fer da pinkee toe, If I don’t sploort it’s a shame…
For its one, two, elebenty spoorts, your out!
At teh awld ball game!!
Hey PJ, your naim is nawt bloo! Ifn it was id send u a reqwest for fwendin! Dat has teh berry funny!
Sry, I iz nawt bloo..
… No, You has the berry ufnni!
I’m sutch a meen mommy!
I maded Dini git awf teh kitschin tablol….
Dat’s Okai. Hur will lurn tu bisit teh kitschin tablol when U R at wurks oar sleeping.
Prolly troo.
I’m gettin “teh bak” rite now, cuz I nawt shayred my dinnur wif hur an maded hur get awf teh tablol.
I always herd dat “teh bak” waz a sign of trust.
PK? any thoughts?
kud beh “ai is so nawt skeered ub yu ai turns mai bak tu yu STN” maybeh
All depends awn contekst. Sumtiems iz “ai feel threttend so ai gunna maek shur we cannawt haz aksidental eye contakt yu myte consider a thret,” sumtimes iz a kitteh making cleer they nawt happeh (this nawt in textbuuks, but ai seen tu menny tiems and sumtiems iz just nuffing else it can be!), sumtiems is just ignorifai yur presense entyrely becoz innerested in uvver stuffs.
Nawt shur hao cud be sine uv trust tho… kittehs preddy aware uv whirrld 360 degrees, nawt need tu see. Wif us, we preddy obliv… obvi… we nawt gno what behind us so well, so sumwun behind us bedder be sumwun we trust! Nawt teh saem wif kittehs. Aidunno… ai needs tu ponder this frum a kitteh’s purrspektive.
*sits daon an finks lyk a felion*
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
P-K, I nawt-sekkund reeded dat az “finks lyk a felon”! LOL
I finkso “teh bak” meens “I nawt happitayle wif u so I gonna ignoar u”.
doan wurri – she knees tu lurn da rools
1. due nawt git onna tablol (wen momma iz hoam)
2. Nawt to get awn teh cownturz ehtur.
3. oar da stobe
4. oar gittin offa da stobe momma bee tellin yu tu git offa bai jumin ontawp da freezeratur
5. oar jumpin bak onna stobe wen mamma tels yu tu gei offa da freezeratur
williboi an hiz momma revuewed 3,4 & 5 dis moarnin
Stove is one of the few absolute rules here. Loki burned a paw-pad as a kitten by jumping onto the stove after we’d left the kitchen. *shudder* Du nawt want, ever again! He was so lucky it was glancing and not right down on top of it, and it had had a few minutes to cool!!!
williboi + rools = FAIL
ai due maik chure da stobe nawt bee hawt oar iz cubberd befour ai leaf da rume
Poar Williboi prolly finkin “Mayk up ur mynd mahm!”
dis hao et ushully goes
*williboi jump onna cide tablol neggs tu stobe, luks at mama*
mama sez: git doun frum dere
*williboi jump onna stobe*
sez: dis beddur mawm?
mama sez: git awffa dat stobe!
*williboi jumps onna freege*
sez: okai mawn wuteber yu sai
mama sez: GIT OFFA DAT FREEGE!
*williboi luks doun at da stobe n pondurs wut tu du*
williboi sez: butt mawm!
*mama gits williboi offa da freege an putts hims awn flore*
williboi sez: snerk!
Butt…….I nawt beetid hur oar nuffin!
Deed yu speek sharplee tu hur? Deed yu frown at hur? Did you *gasp* narrow yur eyez at hur? Huh?
Did you say NO! in a stern boise?
Prolly a liddlol of awl fwee…
Am I gonna go to kitteh-mahm jayle?
eep dats waz scareh. Momeh cum yael at deh umpyre!!!
Hey, UMP!! Did you ferget yer glasses or sumfing?!!
Jus lik de comershallz weer de cows sttood upp an tawked til hoomonz cum aloong, maybe dese kittehs hab basballz gamz widout ouhr nowin!
I think its unsafe…
and thus, a new clasic lolcat iz born
OMG LOLCAT UR DOIN IT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wonderful how someone can copy another LOL and get a FP with it