No, no, you go on. Just leave me here. WAIT! Open the can first.
only if i cud open it mahself.
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No, no, you go on.
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an hurry it up!
befor I expire frum teh starvations!
Kitteh luuks lyk hur haz sum “reserb”.
Conga-rats awn teh solo tawp spot, Carosue!
Wut wud u lyk foar silly-brayshuns?
We kan awl has a kan of sumfing. Drinkable or nomable. I fink I will have sum kanned shrimps. Mai kitteh Amarillo says she will join me in the festivities.
den sayyv urself. aftur u opin teh can.
It’s probly cans judging frum da size ob dis floofy bebbeh.
yesh, diz wun izza kynd uv beeg kitteh!
Relee. I almoast pulled a musslol in my bak steelin hur…
.
.
.
Um….nevurmynd.
Ah HA!!
somehow………….I will carry on…………..(opens eye)….no the other can, yeah that one………….(closes eye)…..go on, save yerself…..I’ll be fine……
.
.
*cough-cough*
Akshully, on odder paw, jus leaf de can and canopener kthx. I’z a polydactyl kitteh >D
DAN! I nawt seen u in adjis!
**runz up to Dan**
BOOP!
**runzwifakwikness**
ohai dan!! i wuz wunderin, sinse yoo libs in texas, mebbee yoo kan go to teh stayt fayr an tell us if dis iz any gud:
Deep Fried Butter
not on a dare
not if you held a gun to mah head…………..either one
not even for carrot cake
How bout: Eat deep friedified butters or kiss a camel on teh lips?
tomorrow is the announcement party for the Rocketts Christmas Spectacular
.
.
no camels…………yet, they’ll get here in Dec.
does bein’ kissed BY a camel count?
Did she slip u sum tong?
NO!
‘ow ‘boot bein’ bitten?
O, stop being such a dramadary queen and just kiss the camel already!
I’m afraid I’ll need an anti-bactarain furst.
@@@@@
Mahm and dad got a card in teh mayle adbertisin dat.
I
wen I saw it.
wud yoo cud yoo in a box
wud yoo cud yoo wif a fawx
I can feel my artureez cloggin now…
i wunder if tehy haz EMTs standing by at teh deep-fryed butter booth?
(oh, an i dont rebember, iz it servd on a stik?)
I wuz luukin foar a fud awn-a-stik, butt it wuz nawt budder.
It wuz frozed, choklit-cuvverd cheez-cayk.
Nawt leevvveee my bowls emmmtttyyyy…..I’lll starve!
Oh, an I can see teh bottum of teh boles!
Oh, teh hyooj manatee!
Iz bad kat momma’n tu let kitteh ebber sii da bottom uf da bowl!
U will has to teech me how to be kitteh-mahm agin. Josie been goned a yeer so I mite be owta praktiss.
Ya know, lyk uthur fings dat I mite be owta praktiss doin…
**wunnerz ifn hur shud go to liberry at lunsch to luuk foar buuks**
Luk fur Idiots guide tu grilled cheeze
Or, Biten heads Off fur Dummies.
Mebbe dey cud be combyned sumhao?
lahk hayull.
**innosint luuk**
Whut?
Why? U need dat wun?
I finkso I need dat wun too!
Ifn teh Cheezmenz wuz heer, mebbe dey cud gibs us sum ‘poynturz”.
Sumwun jes tolded me dat in inbolbs butter an very hard bread.
Also, i must has a VERY CLEAN kitchen! Can’t function in a nasty kitchen… PLEH!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!! oh, and EEEEEEWWWWW!
**wants to say sumfin abowt Texas Toast, but duzznt**
*snerk*……*chortle*…..*snurfle*
U alrite, Dan?
U seem to be cawfin alot latelee.
Mebbe u shud kwit smokin?
what? no-way, ahm too prettah to go to jail.
Yesh, u iz, butt wut dat gots to do wif ennyfing?
Jus doan lissin tu enneewun hoo sez ‘O yule merembur, is jus liek riedin teh baisikul!’ Is NUFFIN liek dat (ai awlwaes fawls owf baisikuls, an ai NEBBUR fawls owf teh … um … nebbur mynd.)
Dat kitteh am big boneded.
iz all big bones an floof. him am not fat, not atawl. nope.
Is nuffin butt skin an boans, sepraytid bai teh signifikint layur ob insoolayshuns.
CALIKO!
**luuks left, luuks rite**
YOINK!
**runzwifakwikness**
Why am I stairin at a tiled floor wiff empty dishes?
Iz it da day wiffout cats again? ARRG!!!
Yah! Why dere nawt a kitteh in dis lol?
U finkso I shud get teh Sheriff? Dere’s two carz inna parkin lot heer…..
Qwik ebrybody! Hides yurs calicos!
Why? Sumwun steelin dem?
**innosint luuk**
*Luuks arownd da room fer Punkin* *Runs down da hall*
Wear’s Dan?
I nawt steeled him, I sware!
(Nawt dat I nawt WANT to, mynd ya….
)
dan mite be wurking. a lot ob times wen him iz heer it iz wen him iz wurking a show (him iz a stagehand, oddly enuff) he plays on ICHC wen him haz a braek.
pj – I mite can has my own caliko 2morro!
I wented to PetSmart an fownded a floofy caliko. It wuz lubs at nawt-sekkund site.
Hur mite be goin hoam wif me az erlee az 2morro!
YAY!! Izzit da one you called “Cellie”?
Nope. Celie got ‘doptifyed by sumwun eles.
adn den yu’ll sho us piksure rite
Yesh, I will tayk pikshurs.
How can you stand da wait? Yesh we’ll need piksures, lotza pikssures!
I’m paysin teh floar, warin owt teh carpitz….
Where’s Muffin?
*Runs around teh howse lookin 4 Muffin*
Phew! Dere u r Muffin! Watch out 4 Red! She’s on a calico rampage!!
Red, wear’s Muffin? Oh der him iz nebbermind.
Mefinx she’s on a cheezman rampage!
Why yoo say dat, pj?
Hmmm. Yesh why, pj?
Ummm Dan is still disappearified.
Wayle, ifn himz at werk, him haz been knowd to disapper wif a suddenniss.
**sneeks moar baykun behind teh cowch**
*Looks around* Come to think ob it, I habent seen Dave of Jack fer awhile eether.
Wat’s da noise behind yer cowch?
It sounds lyke poetry….
Nuffin, nuffin behynd my cowch.
**slips carrot cayk behind cowch**
too layte, they had carrot cake in catering tonight.
,
muahahahaaa
So, did yoo leev enny foar teh rest of teh peeplolz?
Didja heer my noos? I prolly gettin ‘doptifyed!
ahm waytin’ for mah cue for set-change
.
and listenin’ to the 1812 overture
*grin*
well, G Love in onstage, the 1812 is on youtube
I wuz lissenin to Nikklolbak awn teh way hoam.
Yesh, Dan I see ur sirpryzed fayse.
See, I nawt steeled Dan!
Weaar’s Jack?
…an Judson, an jd, an catslave, an West River rat, an Maus, an Fleep, an AfriCat…..
Wares teh Cheezmenz at? (sowwy Mel Brooks)
steelie dan?
nah, nawt steelie, aluminum…………..mebbe.
**snerk**
Innosint mai fut….
yu no can haz mai caliko, red! Ai is preparifyin mai defenses iffen yu come to get her.
Foar Sparta!!!!!!!!!
U no match foar me, mistur!
*Kwyitlee sprae-paynts Delia-teh-kaleeko in teh cawntrastin stryeps ob sae, Telolafoan Blak an Wyte Wyte*
Der mai prittee gurl – is foar yor oen saeftee. Mebbeh rhsb wil thotting yu bees teh zeebrah, an nawt trys tu steelify yu.
Hee! May ai burrow teh sprae-paynt, ai lykes RHSB berry much, butt(!) shii’s nawt havin mai Tammy neiver!
Ob kors! Pls tu halpifying urselfs!
Save yerself, Jeremy!!
**stiks tong owt at pj**
Ummm. Yu cud has the calico heer, if I had mai way. I fink she is protestin the addition of Amarillo cat in teh traditional wai. I nawt sure the floormat is goin to come kleen. Sigh. Kittehs. What can yu dew?
Callee~co Kitteh
lubz t3h cool Nom Nom Room Floar
awn hawt Summurr dayz
Callee~co Kitteh
coodz curlz up in Prittee Room’z
seenk… Dis amz cloassurr!
Callee~co Kitteh
duz nawtz myndz blawkeeng prawgress.
It’z wut hurz libz 4!
Jack.
Ur berry rite, Jack.
I had lawng narro kitschin, an Josie layed akross teh floar awl teh tiem, impeedin my progress.
I finkso hur learnded dat in “cat skool”.
Hur peed in yur progress? Wuz dat hard tu kleen? Conga ratz awn yur mebbeh bebbeh! Ai hazza jellus!
Ohai, sillee burdee!
Howz lyf awn ur end?
Nawt gud az yurz! Win duz yu find owt if yu git doptified?
Sumtiem 2morro.
I wented to PetSmart to luuk at kittehs.
Dere wuz a Mainly-Coon-luukin kitteh inna bottom cadj, an I skwatted down to get a bedder luuk. I den heer “Meow” comin from nexst cadj ovur.
It wuz teh floofy caliko! Lyk hur wuz sayin, “Ohai, Mom!”
**grabz red’s paws and duz happee dans rownd and rownd** Yay! Red gonna be a momma! We shud habba a shower! YNGs! Gib red a shower!
Can teh Cheezmenz joyn too?
Dey are missteruslee missing. Unless YU nose sumfing?
I kno nuffin.
.
.
Nope.
.
.
.
Nuffin at awl.
O mai gunness! Dis iz too inna roe!
Whar dey gets awl deese big boi snorglebellies??
WANT!
Ai hazza sad – Patwick Swayzee has passed. Ai wuz sew in lub wif him in ‘durtee dansin.’ **does a durtee dans in honor**
shares the sad
Oh.
*haz a sad, tu — nawt menny aktors ai respect lyk him*
Nobody puts Bebbeh in teh Coroner’s Office!
“Pfffsssttt” *Wipes ice tea off da screen* Sry.
U got some on me, too. Come on, this mask isn’t going to wipe itself dry, u knoes.
Why are u wearin a mask? *Wipes LCB’s forehed an surgical mask*
Whut u think that is on my avatart? A black eye?
*mumblemumblenoobsgotnosensenohowmumblegrumble*
It’s so tiny, I juss thought it was scribble. *runs to find reading glasses* Oh, dats cute; a liddol “burgler” mask.
Yeah, well, see how “cute” it is when ur valyoobuls go missing!
(u can click my bloo name to see a slightly biggerer version of teh avatart, which was drawred by a fren of Princess Mu!)
Doan feel bad pj perry, butt du hyde yur valyoobuls. Yu shudda seed hur at Crissmus, wif lights awl obur hur hed. It tayked me a lawng time tu figyur owt wut it wuz, aifinked hur had a infeeraty, infearyarty, infarty, um, wuz shamed ov hurself an had scribbled obur hur picshur!
“Inferiorarity complex”? Moi? U mean like self-defacing? No way.
FTW! @@@@@!!
LMAO awltho I know I shuldn’t bii! Gud wun LCB.
He would want you to laugh.
I agree — he would want to be remembered with pleasure and laughter.
For u, parrothead and others stricken wif teh griefs, here is a kinda-sorta tribute from a coupla years ago. Is called “Dirty Trekking”
October 29, 2007 at 9:48 am
Well, not knowing teh Trek stuff makes it kinda hard to think of stuff, but.. somthing like…
Bebbeh has to lern a complicated fight rootine and beem down to Planet Sheldrake wif Catpain Patrick Swaysee becaws Bebbeh is covering for [Insert name of female Trek character here], who was impregnated by a alien wayter. They practice teh lift in teh Sea of Tranquility.
Meanwhile, Bebbeh’s father recognizes Dr. McCoy as his old nemesis from medicul skool. They argue over traditional versus modern medicul tekneeks and end up in a contest to see who can remoove teh most appendickses from teh Enterprise crew in 30 minutes.
Spock falls hard for Bebbeh’s sister, Lisa, whose stiffness and emotional range mirror his own.
See? Not so grate, akshully.
**klappity klappity** Askhully, ai wuz wunnerin if ai go buy a pottery weel, will he show up behind me? NO disrespec heer!
Go for it! Or have you got feet of clay?
Iz dat sum kind ov skeet shuutur remark? Clay burds? **sobs**
Come on now. PULL! yourself together.
*SNERK*
Ai wuz jist luukin at the picshurs ov him – him putz dat stoopy twilite guy tu shayme.
*stumblols in, awl tyred*
*fawls ober awn teh nawt-sekkund surfase that nawt akshullee danjrus*
Ohai! Ai been promissed a pet store spot fur mai tu Bengally-lukkin foster kittehs tumorro. Yay! Tehy will get doptifaied in no time, tehy so byootiful an purry an silleh. Gonna miss them, but howse tu full.
So, er… ai bringed hoam 3 lil wuns, mebbe 5 weeks old. Tu waz prolly gonna get kildeded coz tehy akt so weerd (aggressive tu eech uvver an hyoomins, in fact, but cuddly while owt) in caje… ai haz bof in big bunneh cage ryte nao an tehy happilee being normul littermayts, bof sleeping tugevver in hammuk, infakt. Fird littermate had abig horribul disgustifying botfly larva in himz neck taht teh nyse vet tech at teh shelter taked owt fur him, but it leeved him wif a open hole in hims throat, an him still smaller than teh uvvers an week an shaky an stuff, an needing sum eggstra TLC.
Sooo… ai bringed tehm home wif me. *sigh* Yesh, ai haz an insane.
**nods** Yesh yu du. Fank CC fur the insane! {{{P-K}}}}
insanely good! dat’s the only kinda insane you gots.
Ai hassa gree mint wif onions and teh birdie….yu hassa beeg insane–butt(!) is a good beeg insane. Yur heart foar bebbeh kittesh es ginormous. {{{pk and awl bebbehs}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{PK and new bebbeh fosters}}}}}}}}}]
Prayers and hopes fur gud health and furebber homes fur awl da fosters!
Did you seed the storeh bout deh woman who reskoos and fosters bebbeh kittehs in her apartment in NYC?
{{{{{PK}}}}} Yay fur teh lukky fosterlings!!!
ai lubs yur insane, p-k! i’m so glad you do this an share wif us. ai couldn’t dew it, ai’d be sew upset if bebbehs crawssed teh brijj.
{{{{{{pk an all bebbehs ebbreeware}}}}}}}}
The sport of Cat Curling was later deemed an appropriate reason to invade Canada.
“B6″
“Crap… You sunk my Battle
shipcat”A game of Tic Cat Toe
Rodneys awn a roal agin!!!
AC!
I’m gonna be a mommy!
ai haz an egg sited fur yoo, red! mai obiwan kitteh came frum PetSmart, two! I tole his fawster momma whut Zeekie wuz like, and she had me hold obiwan (then known as Ruffles) and I walked all ober teh store wif him purrin in mai eer and it wuz all ober fur me! resizztans wuz fewtil.
The Hindenburg has landed
As God is my witness, I thought tomcats could fly….
Iz caliko, so prolly nawt boi-kitteh.
Moast calikoes be gurl-kittehs.
it’s called artistic license, just roll wiffeet.
WKRP in Cincinatti ref FTW!!!!!!
HA! wai tu go Cween, ai wuddn’t habs gawt dat wun… *gigglolzturkeys*
Duz u member Mr. Carlson shaking himz foot wen he spilt drugz on it yelling “I’ve got a monkey on mai foot!!” ?? huh? duz ya?? WKRP wuz wun uv deh funnyest showz eber!!!
*enters the room, running flat-out*
youdidn’t seeme-youdidn’tseeme-youdidn’tseeme
*dives behind the couch and hides*
*spinz wildlee in deh aftermath uv teh flying Dan.*
wut?? huh?? hooo???
(remember that one?)
Ummmm…… nope.
*putz on Dunce hat adn sitz in corner.*
the bomb was in the red tool-box.
that help?
Bomb?!?!?!? BOMB??????
*crawlz inside Dunce Hat.*
*kwivverz in fritez*
someone threatened to blow up their transmitter, so Jonny Fever and………….the guy with the afro, went there to broadcast. and they couldn’t find the bomb. but Johnny destroyed the telephone with the red tool-box.
Venus Flytrap.
Wuz dat Venus Flytrappur inna afros?
*peekz owt frum under hat.*
Oh jess, I vaglee member dat wun…..
Hay! I has red tool-box.
No bombs in dere, tho.
Oh the humanity
taked me a minnit, but tehn i rebembered.
boi, taht wuz a funny episode. i luvd taht show… 
i hope i’z spelling correkly… kumo’s big floofy tayl iz rite in frunt ob my monitor
AI NAWT LIEK MUNDANES!
I’m gonna shoooooot teh hole day down!
Ohai, WRr!
**Yellz upthred. I NAWT STEEL WRR ethur!**
Ai wish U wuld steel me. Ai nawt haz tu wurk den.
U wants to
gibsthrow me a showur?I’m gonna be a mahm!
Shur Ai can frows u inna Showur…Wii Still haz wun at teh NB Rite?
* Picks up rhsb adn heds Tu teh NB luking fur teh showurz *
Nawt to frowin me in teh showurz!
U kno how graysefull I am?
I’ll brake ebery bone in my bodee.
thaaaat depends on how one defines…………”wurk”
I iz Boomtown Rat now?
a spell-slinger, with his wand inna knot, in no picnic to be around either
.
methinks.
Um….wut wuz in dat carrot cayk?
dunno, I refrained. also from the peach cobbler.
.
*enable Doc Holliday* ah ahm an oak.
**SWOONS**
Yah, rite.
whall naow………………izzn’t thayt ah dayeseh.
**channlols Dana Delaney**
I want one. **powts**
*borrows Billy Zane for a bit*
good hunting.
I’ll be d@med….
(One of my fabrits) I’m a woman, I like men. If that means I’m not “lady-like”, then I guess I’m just not a lady! At least I’m honest.
(one of mine) yeah……..I’m an oak allright.
Val stole the show.
whaa Kate, you’re not wearin’ your bussle…………how lewd.
.
ah absolutely love that line.
U see dis fayse?
I lubs teh seen wif Johnny Ringo’s gun an Doc’s drink cup.
lawl
poar kitteh
doz want cheezburger?
Dan – I finded ur Krissmiss prezzie! Dan’s Gift
Speekin of Krissmis: I wented shawpin aftur werk an wut did I heer? KRISSMISS MYOOZIK!
AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! **runz wif a kwikniss, cuvverin eers an skreemin**
*sniff* needed teh gud laff… spent teh morning putting flyers to try to find shiro all over teh nayborhud, wun at each mailbox, tehn teh afternoon getting my older boi reddy to go away for a cupple yeers to do mishun wurk, him leeves erly wenzday. finkso i will google to see if kan watching WKRP anywher.
{{{LM}}}} I hopez shiro findingz himz way home…. it must b hard tu b loozing kitty and habbing boi leeve home at deh same time…
*sendz beemz tu shiro to giding him home*
{{{{{cweenmj}}}}} i’z very prowd ob my boi, an hopeful taht shiro will find himz way bakk (himz a bold an feerless adbenturer) but iz too much chanj an uncertinty all at wunse.
WKRP in Hulunati
ooh, fankies LCB!! {{{{{LCB}}}}}
Awww… ai am so sawry. Shiro haz to come home! Haz to!
Sunnyhuckle, watz goin on?
Sharin a currint fabrit song
Second Chance
Guies, can I ask for beems for a friend of mine?
He was in a bad motorcycle wreck 5 years ago (was hit by a bus) and part of his leg had to be amputates. Now, he’s gotten a bad infection and has to have more taken off. His surgery is either tomorrow or Wednesday.
Also, to those of you who ride motorcycles, PLEASE BE CAREFUL!
*beems to red’s frend* taht’s a shame, i hope him will be all better weh teh infekted part iz goned. wher tehrs life tehrs hope, an all taht.
motorsiccles iz cool, but tehy iz teh skary!
{{{redd an redd’s frend}}}
Wayte!! Moove meh kloser tew teh bowl beefor u goe!
Kin ai helpz u, bluesfan473?
*Shlides BF across da floor into da bowls.* SCORE!! FTW!!
Well, taht werkd, BF splatted aginst teh wallz! LOL!
Poor fing!
BF, you got stars? Speak to me!!
Hay! Jus cause aiz rownd duz nawt meen aiz a bowlin bawl! *powts*
You cud be a howkee pukk.
O, mai! Reminded me of my (late) mother, only she wouldn’t have asked to have the can opened….
poot
???
is a rood wurd frum Terry Pratchet’s Discworld. … nawt berry rood dough. ai is in a “poot” mood.
pleh?
Yesh.
BOOP!!!
Oar POOB! if yoo prefer.
An BOOP/POOB! tu yu too!
Nitey nite to useezzzzzz
Nite nite.
Mi too.
Hoep teh pleh goes awai soon, AfriCat.
Fanks. Nitey nite!
HAHA, THATZ GOOD xDDD
*lolz*
Lol! A littlol awf topik, ai noes, but tudai’s Garfield comic strip iz defity beli ICHC-like!
h t t p://w w w.garfield.com/comics/todayscomic.html
(jus remoob teh spaysis)