Breaking News – AS THE WORLDS SLOWEST ESCAPE GETS UNDER WAY
if only u wuz fast liek dis turtel.
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Frweeeedum!!! ai can has it
Congrats, Kerri!
tanks annipuss
Let’s go to the ty-booteek an see all the turtlol gifts they have there!
I think I want a boblol headed tynee turtlol to have on the mantlol piece!
oh yesh, turdle plushie fur meh plzkthx
and then Champagne!!! because we’re worth it
ohyesh ai lubs teh bublz
YAY!!! bublolz!!!
○ ▫ ⱷ ░ ∞ ₒ ᶷ ᴥᵊ ᵕ ᶞ ⌂ ○ ●▫ ▒ Ѻ ; Ơ © ® °§ ¨¸ö ° ¤ * ● ͙ ͏ ͦΔ Ϭ ۞ ᷊ọ Ộ▫ ▒ 0 ᴥᵊ ᵕ ᶞ O o % ô ƍ Ѻ ٭ Ǫ ɒ ʘ ͏ ۞ Δ ͦο ѻ ᴥᵊ ᵕ ᶞ ⌂ ○ ● ▫ ▒ ᴥ ᵊ ᵕ₯ ᶞ ₫ ⌂ ◦ ☼ ⱷ ○ Ω 0 ȏ ° © œ ̛ ʘ ͙
*porez shamperz fur ebbreewun*
cheezes twice – itsa turtle – gettin de car!!!
Slooooooowleeeee!
We runz awai – in slooooooeeee moooooosshuuuuunnnnn!!!!
Woooooooooooooaaaaaaaahhh!
Yaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhhhhh!!!!
LMAO fur sum reezun ai finds dat WAY tu funneh!
It’s a turtle! Get in teh carapace!
Oh, no! hees chaseeng us!
Must be a pace car!
Win!!! lebentyy burglarz fur LCB!!
‘lebenty x ‘lebenty burgers fur lcb!
*applesauce applesauce*
Weer nawt wurvy, weer nawt wurvy!
Oh… mah hart… is stoled…
HAZ AI EBER MENSHUND WHUT A HARDIE-CORE BOWSER FAN I AM??? himz liek mah favrit mario charactah evuh, even thoh himz teh villun! Hims kind of a turdle-monstah, which iz wie tihs pic maek mi tink…
cheezes twice, ITSA BOWSAH! GET INNA CAR!!
himz clerly getsin outa jael to goe kidnap ur princiss nd taek ovur teh mushroom kingdom! oh noes!
i’z sowwee iffin u nawt herd of bowsah thoh… if not… taht commint tinda hardz 2 git…
noe iz funneh kommint.. ai furgot awl abowt bowsah
Ai lieks hims sun Bowser Jr. 
Heer be Bowser, iffen aneewun haz nawt seed himz
Bowser
escaipin turtle nawt kwite as eggstreem….yet!
yahoo! *uses feirball*
sry, ur princess iz in anudder cassel.
i has akshully written fanficshuns ‘bowts bowser. i has showded 2 mai frenz. dey say iz gud!
You leave my mama alone, you bad man! I won’t let you take Mama Peach away!
– - Super Mario Sunshine
Securitee sistum nawt so grate, akshually.
turtel escape ?Ｏｏｏoo bring mi !
aifinkso yu fallded fur teh turdle trap, himz nawt so halpless as him lets yu tink him iz
sneeky turdlez dey iz
Ai noes – climbing turtlols – who noo!!!
Ai had dat prollem 2! Ai can yooshullee fink uv a sootabull commint, but dis wun had me beet!
O.o – fast fingered Anni beaten by the LOL itself!!!
nao aim speechless!!!
*gigglolz* iz amazifyin
Iz nawt teh nawt sekund tiem!!!!
snapping turtle! stay outta his way!
Snapping turtlol maeks it snappy
Grrrrrrr!!!! Kittehs banned frum teh inntertubes awn wensday! O, teh huje mannatee!
Aifink we shud ignoarifie dat!
Yesh! Wii boykott dear boykott!!!
Dat’s teh eye deer. It’z stoopie 2 sai we can’t haz ower kittehs!
Aifinkso ICHC nawt duing it, but IHAH iz. But eben if iz kittehs heer, iz stoopy tu trai tu get teh innerwebs tu nawt haz kittehs fur teh day.
Noewun tellz me wat Ai can lukk at! STN!
U tell ‘em, Anni!
Liek ai said in teh udder lol.. ai nawt has kitteh, so ifs dey taeks awai odder peplz kittehs den fur dis, ai iz demandin teh Bebbeh Otterz!
oh aineao.. ai will fluds yu awl wif Baileygogz fur teh hole dai
maybee ai haz a stoopy butt (!) ai doan git teh poynt uv dis. IHAH iz alwais fer goggies, wai deklare noe kittehs dai awn a site fer goggie pics? Aifinkso nawt mennee peeps gonna visit a lolcats site iffen deres noe lolcats sew dat meens loss uv revnue (u lissnin hedcheezes?)
akshoelee, taht iz nawt troo, mai butt iz teh mos intellygint part uv meh
lolz. u sed buttz.
O hai, ChocolateSamus! How u is?
i iz dizcussin mah bowser obsesshun furver up in teh commints. hao U iz?
*???* yu dun gets teh poynt ub mai komint or ob teh dai wifowt kittehz?
iz teh dai wifowt kittehs ai doan git, mai braynium cahnnawt conceev uv such a owtraige!
Nawt just teh cheezy netwurk… see linkee belo
Seemz tew bee dis Urlesque site (ai haz neber hurd uv er bisitid it) taht iz beehynd it, sew….
BOYKOTT URLESQUE!
BOYKOTT URLESQUE!!
BOYKOTT URLESQUE!!!
Ai haz boykootd Urlesque awl mai lyf wifout ebben noeing it. Ai see no reesun to stawp nowe.
Mii 2!
Mii 3! Ai jus wan dem tew KNO aiz boykottin dem!
Mee fore – bf dint haf bloo Reply buttin – doan kno wear dis will end up.
Hay! Whoo stol mai bloo repli buttun?? Giv it bak rite naow!!
Ohai Griffyn! dis happins wen a lawt uv replis stak up tew a commint. jus clik awn teh repli buttun furvest daown teh stak an ur commint wil git added at teh bottum uv teh stak.
WHAT?!?!?!? Wat did I miss? No kittehs? Oh no, that kan nawt bii!
Day Without Cats
Pleez tell mii ICHC iz nawt going tu play along wif diz silliness. I nawt kare bout da other sites. Nawt take my ICHC!! Pleez!
Ai nawt fink ichc iz duing it. {{{3km}}}
yu sure kauz teh bideo sumwun sent tu meh hads teh Cheez awn dere sain dey wuz goin tu dus it
IHAH iz listed az being inbolbed. If ICHC waz, tehy wud listing taht az a biiiiig fing.
Himz wuz awn MSNBC an hims nawt sain ICHC nawt partisipating… sowns liek dey iz gonna does it
h ttp://www.benhuh.com/2009/09/06/msnbc-interview-about-a-day-without-cats/
hims bein sneeky maibeh, hims nawt sai dey iz or iz nawt..
OP sez iz de parti uf NO! Ai gree!
Ai gunna haz a berry angree if tehy duz.
Turn yr angers into protestifying!!! Post linkees to kitteh pixshoors in ebbery commint if pixshoor is nawt kitteh! Enbed linkees to yr kitteh videos if they dares to do this at ICHC!
aifinkso I mite send the cheezes that hayt male I wuz finkin ’bout yesserdai, if they par…partee…play alawng wif dis huge manatee.
*hands aout placards and sticks and markers fur protest sines.
Hands out bullhorns to protests leaders for leading the chants.*
Praktiss:
“What do we want? Kittehs! When do we want ‘em? Now!”
whut doez weh wans?
Lolcats!
when doez weh wans dem
Furawlwayz!
Fanks fer postin dat! Iz fun tew waatch! Wah-Ha-HA! Ai dun eben no beefur tharz such a ting as mean kitti. Ai go luk nao!
icanhas…FREEEEEDOOOM
Ohai, frenz!
I’m gonna go luuk at moar kittehs in an hower!
**luuks down at self**
Shud I get dressed oar izzit alrite to keep my pee-jayz awn?
Go in yur jammies! Yu’ll get moore attention that way.
Oh, and if yur goin intu Lex bekareful, parently it iz stormin sumfin awful. Red and yellow awn da radar.
Um…..3km…..ware u finkso teh stoarm camed frum?
I’m west of Lex now.
Stoopy fing woked me up.
Oh, oops! Wii nawt gettin nuffin but (!) light rain and far, far,far awai thunder. Iffin had been big storm, I still nawt bii up. Thuder=sleep fur mii.
yey fore sunnee dai! i haz wun
Well, yu cud haz relaksed cuddlee seshun wif potenshul kittehs.
p-k, eberyfing I ware be comfee!
Slabe to fashun? Nope, nawt me.
I’m yooshulee in knit capris, a t-shirt an ethur tennis shooz oar Crocs.
you ben lookin in my howse? dat’s whut I’m warin naow, but cept, no shoes, cuz, I’m in da howse. kthxbye!
**SIGH**
I gess I shud get dressed. I’m goin to a frenz howse to luuk at kittehs, so I nawt wanna mayk hur finkso I’m nawt spendin teh nite!
Hekk, I’m weerd. I nawt even ware pee-jays to Wally-Whirled, even tho haff teh town duz.
Kittehz nawt kaer if yu iz wearin paprbagz lawng as yu has lawts ub petinz an luvins an gushie fuds
Gud poynt, Kerri.
I’m still gonna put awn “reel” clothez, tho.
See y’all laytur!
Let him be free! No seriously. It looks like he wants to leave, so let him. (her?)
Must be ripe tomatoes on the other side of that fence.
♫ Cliiiiime up teh chayne link
Bild ur seff esteeeem
Slither daown teh uvver syde
Den u reeech teh streeeeeeem ♫
Sumbodee been watchin Teh Sown of Myoozik!
noep, nawt fallinz fur yur eerwurms tudai *runs to wach cat, im a kitteh cat)
@@@@@
Iz aktuali piktur uf meh, gettn oowt uf bed tewdai.
Me gettin outta bed inbolbed grumpee fayse.
Stoopy stoarm woked me up erlyur den I wanted!
**grumblols az hur mayks way to showur**
*fawls ober laffing wifahistericul*
Ai neds sum adbice heer… wich iz bedder.. *Humph* oar *Humf* fur putins awn lols??
Whud abawt *meh*?
Iz liek *humf* liet.
gud fur kitteh pik aifinkso but iz goggeh pik
ai lyke *blargh*
iz fun wurd
blargh but aifinkso humf wurks bedder fur dis pikture 
linkee nawt wurk
Haow bowt Hmmmff!! ?
Dat mite beh bedder triz linkie agains
Aww, cayute Bailey puppeh!
Akshulee hiiz eggspresshun kinda luuks lyke Ren uzed tew wen hii sed ‘u eeeeediot!’
ohh yesh ai seez it… Ai miss teh ren an stimpi
I think it’s sad.
Yesh. Hoomins ought nought kept dem wild tings. Special wen dez iz sew mani kittehz wat nedz forevah homz. Sumtimz though, gud hoominz hep wild tings that got hurted an mek em weel. Maibee, this bee wun uf dem?
Oar cud be fense trai tu keep tutrlol awf hiway or uvver danjurus area… cud be menny menny fings.
Az usual, since we nawt haz a contekst fur teh picshur, iz hard tu say ennyfing abowt teh unnerlying situayshun.
Ai wud guzz hims jus pazzin tru… hoomans put up fens, turdle walks obur fens
Happi Labor Dais yew ewe, tew, Kerri up ina nort countri!
othx yu tu
Yesh! Ai ben trian tew cee de hapi sidez, here latli. Turddolz an rhoadz doen mix weel. Hapi Laborious Dai, PK! Mai de Ceiling Cat be wit ewe!
Fanx, yu tu!
Won tiem ai wented to teh Sans D. Ago wild aminol park and saw teh heardz uv wild gazzelles an impalols an sich. Teh guyde poynded owt one muel dear in teh middol ov teh heard. Him waz not reellie a zoo aminol–himz jest jumpid ober teh fense one day to get some fudz an nevver wanted to jump owt agin.
Mebbe tutlol wuz bisiting frienz in yard and now wuz tiem to go hoem.
free fuds, no preditatorz? Ai iz soooo stainz rite heer!!! *gigglolz*
Him SMART deer, yesh yesh!!!
Ai betcha him waz berry populur wif teh toorists, tu!
Ai had a happitail taht teh deer waz tehre becuz himz wanted to be.
Well, if him wanted tu be, tehn teh uvver aminlols problee preddy happehtayl there, tu.
Him luks reeeeely weel in dis pitcher! Dis like climbing wall for turlols?
Please Support The Anti-No Cats Day: URLesque Protest! On The AntiNoCats Channel On Youtube http://www.youtube.com/antinocats
perhaps this be like 18 howr vershun of Free Willi
@@@@@@ for you!!!
lol! dats purdy funneh imaeg smudgie
This is why alligator snapping turtles are terrifying. They can CLIMB, people!
Dey klime PEEPLOLZ?????!?!?!!?!
Oh deh HYOOOG Manateez!!!
*runz skreeeming frum ruuum*
Iz atchor tosies! Iz atchor ankolz! Nao, IZ ATCHOR KNEEZ!!!!!!!
AAIIiiiiiiEEeeeeee!!!!!!!
They climb huge manatees? Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!!
*swims away with a quickness*
watchez turtle swim after Hugh….
Turtle sez, ‘wayt fur mii!’
Nonononononono! No time for waiting! Places to go, turtles to run away from!
*swims even faster*
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Me too! Cheezland be teh funniest place eber!
Whai wud tehy climb peepul? unless teh peepul iz holding a waturmelolon oar sumfing abov their heds? Tihs turtlol climb a fence, nawt a peepul!
*kikks WP fur nawt thredding* This goe wif commint abuv!
Ai hadda GMTA wif teh cween.
*High Fivez PK*
*hi-5s back*
*misses*
*fawls ober*
*pikks self up*
Ai ment tu du taht.
*lukz rownd at awl dhe comminterz*
Wair iz Turtlol??? Shii shud beeing heer!!
ohai, mai cween! Ai am heer naow, albeit s-l-o-w-l-e-e (hay, Ai AM a turtlol aftur awl!) and Ai seen dis wun and HAD tu kowmint…..mai stoopie kompyooder am ded and Ai am yusing barrowed wun dat am nawt mush bedder…pleh! but at leest it sorta werks.
ennyways, Ai seed dis hyooge snaping turtlol, and Ai thot, “fastur, Pussycat!” hee!
sawree Ai’m layte tu teh Labur Dai partee, tho.,……
Oh, fiddlol stix! Mai e-p-i-c s-p-l-o-r-t- uf a few dais agow wudda gone grate wif dis lol!
Heez eskapin tew joyne teh All Turtle Marching Band
Plz to call turtlol’s loyer
shell puts on a show
he hepin cat get teh ice
cream ice cream for crow
Does anybody else hear Chariots of Fire playing?!
Now that you mention it – yes!!!
Now we see why the tortoise (of the “tortoise and the Hare” story) had so many problems. It was not common knowledge that it was a hurdle race – proven by this rare smuggled photo!
- Seanya *wince* (sorry for lack of lolspeaks)
WIN!
Thanks all – Hi to those I know, Hi, I am Seanya to those I don’t LOL … I love comments, I don’t comment often, but when actually do get an idea – many of yooou are geniuses, witty, and smart too! – it feels good to be recognized for it.
for those that regularily are our resident Monty Pythons, or (insert commedy troupe here) – Thank you for making us laugh when you can – even when you don’t feel laughy inside because of personal stuffs).
Thanks!
seanya! gud to see you!
*imagines seanya completely cuvvered in kittehs, weakly extending one hande out to keyboard through a pile of floof.*
*gigglolz*
Ohai Seanya, ai dun tink we haz aksully mets yet, yu iz PK’s beder half? Iz niec tu meets yu *offurz floofeh paws*
PK be my better halfs … without her hmmmm let’s not picture, scary … very scary …
pretty much walking c’mputr, speaking in code, hanging out in dark all night computer cafe’s, no really being who I am, just who I good at being who really am wanted to be by my bosses ….
PK helping to open door and helps find out who I really be. so easy to fall back to computersengeeken, but who knew my real calliiing. btw, have you heard of $cientology or Amway?? No? Well contact me and we can schedule a time when we can go through a few hundred hours of consulting, and don’t forget to bring your checkbook or credit card.**
**not meant to offend the millions that believe either belief.
So dis be proof PK is better half
*gigglolz* ifs ai comz tu bisit yu gaiz ai will
forgets tubringz mai Kredit KardYu haz a silleh.
*blush
ps pk (better half) bop me with pillow
Btw, Hello, nice to meet you, and others I have not had chance tobe introducked. Hope you are having good day
seanya
Yay seanya, dat made mii laff, laff, laff!
Heh, an yu thot ebreewun wud fink waz stoopy…
He’s a smart man p-k…he no’s which haf is bettah…aifinkso…lol *runsawaywifakwikness…still snikkerin*
Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
*runsinwifakwikness*
Ohai, iz mii. Just finished orderin 2 brand spankin nawt owld lapee tops. Yea, NO MORE APPLE MACBOOK *smile*
Ai is alibe an ebrybody is helfee. Should be back on line just in time to go to OKC. I pwamise to check in.
Addi byby.
Ohai {{{BOM}}}!
Obai {{{BOM}}}!!
OKC? or KC? or Mississippee? or Kentukee?
Ewe are de trabeling BOM!!! pea-ess..conga rat shoelaces on dubblin of lappeetawps.
ohai, heerz teh burfday fairy ahed ob skedool today to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to Hanabi an scarletsandra an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today!! i haz bringed tasty fudjy cakes, orinj caeks wif choklit icing, frooty party punch, iskreem, an noyzemakers!! an goodie bags filled wif wind-up raysing toy turtlols, yoyos taht make sparkles wen tehy yoyo, kandee (inklooding turtlol kandee – choklit wif carmel an peekans!) an colur-it-yorself turtlol an froggie an lizurd stikkers taht yoo kan colur any colur yoo wants wif the byootiful box ob elebenty-six crayns in all teh byootiful colurs yoo kan thinking ob! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
yew boldlee went ware noe burfday fairy had gawn beefor!
Yay crayns an stikkers!! *cullercullercullerstiks turtlol stikker in middl uv forhed*
*windz up awl teh turtlols an maiks dem rais in elebenty seben diffrunt direkshuns*
*eyes get berry big*
*pownses awn a turtlol*
*sees moshun tu wun side*
*spins arown an pownses awn nuvver turtlol*
@@@@@ Dat iz so bery kyoot imag…*wiens up sum moor fur tu watch PK powns dem*
*eers go owt horizontul*
*crowch daon berry flat*
*tail tip go twitchtwitchtwitch*
*buttwiggloluvDOOM!*
*pownse awn teh turtlol*
*fling teh turtlol intu teh air*
*jump awn it wif awl for feets when it come daon*
*fawl ober awn side tu bunnehkick teh turtlol vigruslee*
*sees nuvver turtlol mooving wif perif… pariph… side-vishun*
*streeeetches an uzes pointee enz in carpet to drag self closer an grab nuvver turtlol*
o deer, ware r mai mannurs? Fank u bery mush burfday fairy!
*noms a hayuge peece uv fudjy caik an swigs tootsyfrootsy punsh*
yoo maded me LOL!
now i not so embareasd
burfday fairy haz a happy taht her made evreewun happy! 
being bold be a gud fing! LOL {{{{{bf}}}}}
*nibblols turtlol candees whyle colurcolurcolur teh stikkers*
fank yoo P-K!
LOL!! Mai!! Waht a big bold fairee yoo ar!
A nebber furget 0 but ai must do it rong sumtaims, becuz taht happins to me a LOTQQ
when i wuz kidlet we had a pet turtlol, akshully a dezert tortoise cawze we libbed in teh dezert. him had himz own liddle hideowt under teh goggiehowse (speshully bilded for him) but him always wanted to ekscape frum teh yard too. but him didn’t go ober teh fense, him digged a hole under teh fense. we finkso him always wanted to go see teh lady tortoise in teh naybors yard.
♥ ♥ ♥ ahhh, romanse! ♥ ♥ ♥
Romeo Turtlol separated frum Juliet Turtlol bai fense! Oh, teh hy… oh, yu gno.
Iz a Post Turtle!!!
Determination Win.
Hedz hims offz at da passz!
the wisest mystic is escaping
And here I thought that my turtle was the only one that could do that. At least they caught this one in the act. Me, I wake up and discover that a 6-inch long turtle has somehow scaled a 2-foot brick wall and vanished into the wilderness.
♪one toe o’ver the line, sweet Cheeses, one toe over teh line♪
Not nice to pose the turtle this way.
Mean.The thing is scared out of it’s mind.
from the makers of ‘slowest NOM ever’
3 hours later, the turtle will have climbed anothe 1.5 feet.
O NOEZ!!!
if i dnt stp him in da next 48 hoours, hez gone foreverz
Holy fracking shart! Someday somebody will dig up that mofo and think dinosaurs existed in the 21st century! That thing’s uglier than my 1st husband!
My aunt’s pet tortoise actually did make a jail break. She left him in the backyard on a windy day and the gate blew open. He made his break for it while she was at work and made it a full three houses down the street by the time she got home.
awwwww…this is sooo cute:):):) but kinda scary what’s he gunna do on the other side:P
aww hope he dont get hurt! x
Looks like he’s going back to race teh rabbit again.
he he – He might just be!