4 out of 5 cyber attacks are now being caused by
4 out of 5 cyber attacks are now being caused by kittys trying to order cheeseburgers
i thot i hadz a protecshun program.
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: greyhawk via Advanced Lol Builder
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
wif extra katnip!
Congrats up dere catena, yu woz berri speedee!
Congrats catena – leedur uv teh brayde!
Dat eggsplanes a lot
Ohai, anni! ai kaym hoym frum wurk tu bii fit tu bii tyd!
An we aer tyed!
Hyde yur pooters!
Who yu kallen eh pooter?
**czechs hur pooter**
Yup, iz cuvverd. I’m warin pantz.
an fries.
Mebbe hakkerz izzint so bad, akshullee!
Clicky twise! No nno,, once!
Dubbleklik once, er, no maik taht won klick twise, no, er, well, too layte, yu ordered elebernty cheezburgers onlyne!
Teah! do it again; an again
The Nom Virus?
pewter kats!
wif eggstra cheeZ adn mush ruums?
Well, theyrz not mush ruum furr extras
Mmmm…..ohhhh, yesssss!
**wypez drool awf chin**
No, u go up den down wiff da arrow movie fingy…see lyke dis.
which one is the “any” key?
Teh “eskaype” key nawt werk. I keep pressin it, butt I’m still heer.
Whutever u does, stay away from teh spays bar!
Iffin I hit delete will it take Mundai’s awai?
mehbeh iffn yew hi lyts dem…
LCB – Wut ifn I press Alt AN spays at teh same tiem?
Then u become differently genitalled.
But not in a gud way.
O.O
Tidmum!!! Wai ar yoo up so layte?? Ar yoo hoam nao?
Were yoo goan?
Oh – nebber mind.
Ai think ai am awn teh rong paige!
I wud be willin to get rid of my inner girlee partz. I nawt yoozin dem an dey do nuffin but cawz payn an sufferin ennyway….
Yabbut u mite end up wif something like bananer pudding instead!
*Ponderz appropriate response to this*
*Ponders inappropriate response to this*
*Thinks again adn wanderz off to NB in dignified silence*
And the shift kee didn’t moov us anywear eever! Dis pooter is borked aifinkso!
An I nawt feels ennibetter wen I hit “refresh”
And teh commeand key hadz no impact on teh goggies….
But wayte!! There iz teh STAR key!! We can awl be starz!!!
An we can com hoam again. There iz a “return” AND a “home.” Wiffaut eben clikking ar heels!
Wares dis “mowse” I keep heerin abowt?
Iz tru wot dey sae
Awn teh interwebs, noe won
Knoz yur eh kitteh
Adn eben if yu tell tehm iz troo tehy will NEBBER beleeve yu
Honest, honey, da kittehs are the ones lookin at the pron.
Iz tru. Teh interwebs bii full awf kittehs wif nuttin awn.
No, deez kittehs iz 2 yung 2 be lukkin’ at da pron! U needz innerwebz filtur, srsly!
Wasn’t there a thing on failblog about a guy blaming his cats for porn on his computer?
I read it someware…maybe hear…or da news or somefink. U talk funny!
“Um, hallo, Veeza? I wanna dispyoot teh charjis awn my card dat sez, “Cheezburgur dawt com”. I nawt ordurd dem, I sware.”
GMTA-kinda. How yu bii tudai?
I finkso I’m reddy to brake owt TEH BLOO CUP!
Wassail this then? Wottabowta bloo cup? Nawt bukkit?
Nawt wassail, Lungdoc. Tekillya.
Oh, ai seez. One of tohse daze, huh? *Handz Red a flagon of mead from teh last LOL, after first pickin all teh feather-fluffs off*
Oh, fankees, Lungdoc!
Yah, iz been a totlol Mundae! Pleh.
So, how do I luuks wif fevvers?
You be luukin kwite fetching in teh dirndl wif teh manee fevver bits strategically stuck here adn there adn there adn… hmm…
…Wellp, Ai gots to go has supperz now, but Ai’ll see y’all again after a whilez. Have a happee evenin!
Fankyoo foar teh comply-mintz!
**wunners if dis shud be hur noo luuk**
Hmm. Teh dirndl adn teh feathers be a good look for you, aifinkso. Teh blush, maybe optional. Bluu-green ais, red hair, rosee pink fais adn general neighborhood— bold color scheme, you has it!
This xplains awl da MickyD charges tu da credit card.
Altho, my Baby Kat purrfers wings.
My kitteh wen nuts ober chinese fud last week. O sure da shwimps are nice, butt(!) she REALLY liked da rice.
Kittehs bii strange! Myne Baby Kat awlso lykes Chex Mix, an Lucy Kat won’t touch seafood uf enni kynd. Shii trys tu buri it.
My basement kitty loves tuna and milk and meat like any good cat should, but is also obsessed with bread and, this one I thought was biologically impossible for a cat, loves sweets. He loves Captain crunch (Even without milk) and will slaughter peeps in a way that will give you nightmares.
My other kitteh loves da saltees. Any crunchies an saltees. Pringles are hers faverts.
Yep, my BC LUVS orange sherbert icecream, lyke in da pushup pops, an awl myne kittehs luv icecreem uf enni flavor. Dey will sit awn yu an meow an stick dere head in yur bowl an take it.
mii littul Meg wont eet kitteh treetz, bawt her wil eet krakaz, chipz, stuf lik dat. adn her goez nutz fur yogart. wont eet teh gushee fud, none awf mii tree.
Meg awlsoe once likked teh choklit frostun awf teh tawp awf eh donut…
My Josie wunse halped hurself to my Wendy’s Frosty.
Hai thar. Noo at dis. Just hadda say; chocklate can be bad for kittehs. Check vit vet.
3km – I thotso Baby nawt lyk teh wings an leeved dem foar u.
Ifinkso shii bii leevin em dere fur mii tu “buffalo style” fur her.
I hoap dey iz beddur den teh wuns I had at Zaxby’s.
Tri splaning tu ur bank dat it wuz da kitteh dat maed dat purrchus.
Did u see teh storee bowt teh man hoo blaemd his cat fur downlodin pr0n!
Which teh kitteh did one fousand times an teh man fergot to deleet. Puh! Hissssss! I spitz on him! an skratches him in tender plases!!!!!
OK, lady, keep yer pantz on!
Kitteh-like hacking detected.
Wach owt fur hairbawlz
Itteh bitteh Eye Tee Committeh!
OT how do cheezpeeps get rid of kitteh furz from dere laptops
Ifinkso da ownli way iz tu git rid uf kitteh, build new howse, an buy new puter. I haz kitteh hares ebberware.
shave their kittehs?
Wax?
We juss changin yur abatar a teeny bit… yu nawt lyk it?
I hope dey know how to call the Splort Response Service. I’z gonna need a help pretty soon.
(CHRG and HGG pulled on tightly)
Oh no.
*runs in wif special x-tra strong ducky tape and wrap, wrap, wraps D.R. head*
There, that shuld hewlp.
Heer!! put this extra strong 50s bathing cap ober ebreeting!!! Wif awl teh flours an ebreething, it luks KWITE spiffee!!
pokes tu holes in teh duckee taype ober teh noze so DR can haz sum airs.
I fink dat one behind d screen hz pinkee toe pads…
ooohhh noooo! not teh pinkee toe pads!
*SPLORRRTTT*
Oh nose, gammacatk is down!
*runs to get CCC*
*scoopity scoopity…braynz inna bucket*
*rinsey rinsey wiff cold perrier, lime flaverd*
*putz braynz back inna cranible cravity*
*rap up titely wiff decoratib duckey tape*
Wrap up gammacat inna soft snuggley wif sleeves so she can hold hot chocklit an snuggle armadillio.
Plz to be careful an alwayz uze protectibe gear!
Ack! gamma is splorted!
*opens the HCHSFAK (Handy Cheezland Head Splort First Aid Kit)*
*sweeps up brayns with handy whisk broom and dustpan*
*rinses brayns with saline solution*
*packs brayns back in craynial cabbity*
*figgers out craynial bone puzzlol, fits ‘em back together*
*tapes up bones with 200-mph tape*
*opens handy one-pack of CHRG, pulls it over gamma’s head*
*hands gamma a package of Orelol cookies and a cool drink*
*takes gamma to SRL, sits her in comfy chair and wraps her in cheezmap blanik*
oh noes
sweepie ups da braynes
swooshes dem cleen wiff sparklin grean tee
pats da braynes bak inna cabitty
replazes da hedbones
putts gammacat onna sawft floofy cowch wiff a fresche sparklin grean tee
sawry da tuk sew lawn da fone kept wringin
Thank u, everyone. It’s good to have some help.
Ohai, WRr!
Didja heer teh noos? I’m MOOVIN!
U wanna come halp me moov?
Ai halps U move if U halps meh moov….AI haz teh elebentee hunnurd pownd saef tu moov. Iz fur mai cheezburgur munnies
Wow, u must be RITCH!
Wuz in teh yard sayl. dem furgitted teh combinashun. Ai jus haz tu figgur aowt how tu get it opun
Hmm. So if teh safe is easy to open– then you got a safe you can use, but which is easy to open– adn so maybi nawt so safe?
Adn if teh safe is beri beri hard to open– tehn you gots a safe you can’t use– but if you did, it would be a good one!
Soundz a bit like some of teh bargainz Ai been accumulatin in mai various garages for abowt teh last few decadez or so.
Now if Nehru jacketz come back, Ai’m golden…
OBTW– a home saef bein abowt teh size of a nitestand, yu mite be tempted to use teh thing as bedroom furnichure.
Resist this temptashum.
Stubbin yur toe on teh leg ovva heavee saef in teh dark HURTZ like &%#@!.
Trust me on this, kthnxbai.
**litebulb appeers ovur Red’s hed**
I has a GRATE EYEDEA!
Attenshun awl singlol Cheezmenz
U iz inbited to halp me moovin outta teh parental yoonits’ howse an into my own playse!
I will provide peetsa, cheezburgers an beer!
Dis will be teh nawt-sekkund (of menny, I hoaps) partee at Red’z Playse!
**Addendom**
Teh nawt-singlol Cheezmenz in inbited, az lawng az dey has teh “o-tay” by dere wimmens.
Nawt wantin to get in2 trubblol wif teh wimmens…
No margeanreetas?
Teh margajareetas is foar me.
Oh, an NO WUN GETS ENNYFING UNTIL TEH STUFF IZ MOOVED!
Wurk nawt-sekkund, eet an partee aftur.
Whaa protecshun。。 lubly cat♪
All i can think about this… is… “they actually bought an Acer!?!?”
“teh shipping cawst seems a wittle hai”
“go get teh hyoomin’s othur creddit kard”
either that or they’re downloading porn…
This reminds me of something I saw on Failblog one time where a guy claimed that his cat downloaded all of the child pron on his computer. Ya… ok guy.
ya dat is kinda weird. lol but that is won lame exscuse……
bwahahaha, my second comment……
LOL u spelled “kittehs” wrong!
u need lolspeak lessons!
kiddin, no offense meant.
:p