Apparently one of the 350 words he knew was not, “help”.
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: greyhawk via Advanced Lol Builder
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It wuz hims awen fawlt
conga rats, anni, fur yur soloe nawt sekkund!
Skewse mii, plz, anni adn catena, I haz a liddlol nownsmint tu making.
Kin I haz ur ten shunz plz?!?!?!
Deh Fyunrul fur Matt will beeing at about 10 am Eastern tiym on Saturday. So wii b asking fur a minuet uv sylens on ICHC den in himz onner. Dat will beeing at 4 am ICHC tyme (9 am Sentril tymez, 8 am Mounting tyme and 7 am Specifik tyme).
Deh Birfday Fairy haz bloonz u kin riting a messij tu Matt on wun adn den releasifying it in deh medow. Note frum deh Birfday Fairy: ifinkso i will dropping off teh baloloons on fridegg, just in case i kannot be awake on time on saturday (spasifik time iz teh same az burfday fairy time, an taht iz very erly for me) but i will getting tehr soon az i kan wake up on saturday.
Awlso, wii kin making a listee ov fingz Matt iz duin in teh meadow, lyke halpin teh nite wadshman, playing wiff teh kittehs, etc.
*Puts hand up to aks kweschun”
Em, skuze me, wot tyme is that in Yuropeen tyme?
*sitz down againe kwikly befoar enniwon notisses silleh kweschun*
*punches nomberz in kalkeelater*
Ummmmm. I finso it will being 3 pm GMT — I not shur how dat translatez in deh Summer Tymez in TTI adn Yrup.
I hope dat halpz.
Iz 3 pm British Summer Time – Most of Europe is 1 hour ahead of that.
o fanykyu mai cween adn awl her subjeks fur dis berry yooseful informalashun. I shall respekt teh minit ov silense for Matt wiv a sadness in mai hart.
oahi mm. go to worldtimeserver.com and it will tell you times all ober the world
3 pm TTI time 4 pm Germany
Ofankees cweenmj! Yu izza bestist!
Othx. Iz gud. Aiz waittun fur teh sad bawt awpliften nite watchman fur Matt.
wonce ehgen, mii deepuss, deepuss simpathee fur Elsa_Mama.
May he rest in peace and angels guide his soul.
Jus foun awt bawt Matt. I has a rly rly rly big sad nao…
{{Elsa_mama}}
-He will always walk with you-
*sobs*
*hans yu da tisisus in da purdy kitteh boxez* Iz berry sad, ai iz purdy neuw herez but ai iz sthill habing tearz.
Whe can haz da smilez tu doe cauz awl doez whoo goez beforz us wood bee wantinz dat fur uz. Sew ai haz tearz an smilez fur Matt an fur Elsa an famiby eben doe ai knot bee hear berry longz
Ai haz lotsa luvz an smilez enuff fur eberybody an ai sendz dem owt ober da interwebz tu awl uf yu! <3
*sobs even harder* *wipez up teerz* *trais a littul smail*
Waislee spokun, kerrilove, fenk joo an luvz & hugz for joo to!
An tonait, I burnz a kandul.
For you, Matt.
i haz notifyd teh failbloggers, sinse elsa_mama enjoiz posting over tehr too. i posted a non-lolspeek version ob teh annownsmint, along wif hints about how to get past teh moderators (post yor nawt-sekkund post well inadvanse, post wif teh same name yoo want to yoozing for teh event, make shur tehr iz nuffing in yor name taht teh moderators mite find objet – objuctun – objex – bad.)
Fanks, lunarmommy, for finking of the failblogges and translayting for them. U is a kind soul.
Woot woot, hoorae for Anni.
Jus got me sum tee adn came to luk at teh e-mayos adn hear waz a nyew lolcat.
Ohai, mm’s mum! Just wanted to say aym still laffing over yor storeh yestiday of teh 4 meeces lyned up on teh carpit!
Head to tail… *snicker*
mi too! its such a funny image..
*snerk*
Ohai gremlin, itz makin me laff to think of u still laffing – didn’t laff much at teh tyme tho!
Izznt that hao it goez? The humor sumtiems bekummingz moar obvious in teh retelling. And with teh passij of tymes. Just wanted to say thankx for teh laffings. Is gud for teh hart and sole to lafflafflaff!
Iz teh bestest fing ov awl (after snorgling kittehs ov corse).
Thx fur teh congrats!
One of the 350 words was feather
U didn’z wanna keep him anywayz did ya?
owee. teh poor burdie. Donut let PH see tihs!
Yu nommed Beeg Burd!
Sesame Street refrens! FTW!
oar maebee waz Twetty burdz finawy gotz kawt bai kitteh?..Sylvesterz bee dizapointyd et wazn’t himz woo gotz dat Tweety burdz butt oder kitteh
*reeches owt throo teh internetz, kuvvers parrothead’s eyz with mah beeg orinj paw* PH: Nawt to look, pleez, kthxbai!
Fanks Gremmie! ai wud not laek it ifn PH got a skaerd!
*lays owt a liddel kat suit for PH to wayr as a disguyz if necessary*
*******heddsk****** owee, taht wuz tooo phunee!!!!!
Oh, he was teh canary in the mine SHAFT? I thotted he was teh canary in mine belleh.
Him iz naow!
Oh noes! Poor, poor byrd.
Polly wana…oh…err…nebermind
Polly is unkarakteristikally kwiet todai . . . Purrhaps teh cat got her tung!
Among other things, I think…
Yeah, adn teh rest uf hur tuu! *snerk*
Is anybuddy dere?
Ware?
Anywheres, I suppose.
Laik gremlin sed furver down teh fred: Wii b ebryware!
I wuz ober dehre *pointz thataway*, but now I b heer *poyntz at grownd unner feerz* adn soon I will b sumwair else *poyntz vayglee in a Neestery, Norferlee, Westerlee, Souferlee drekshun*.
*Wanderz off in search of nomz.*
weher? dew ew mean ober dere or ober dere? ***pointing mai floofy paws inna easterly/westerly direkshun****
No…no…no…ober DERE! *pointing in the direction of other cheezpeeps*
*waves*
*waves back*
weir heir, butt butt …ware is heir?
uh…. ware r we? um, hoo r we?
Nao ai IZ confuzzled.
Everywharz! We’re in yor internetz . . . bein . . . ubikwituss!
ai iz impresd. ubikwituss iz a beeg word fur a lil kitteh
Hey, I payd 25 cents for that whird! Figgerd ayd beddur yuse it!
hep hep. PH luked anyways. teh poor burdie iz onna floor inna faint!
Yep! Yoo noes hao it goes! “I hollerd over to Ethel, I sed – don’t look Ethel! But it wuz too layte. She’d alreddy bin incensed!”
Teh Streek ref FTW!
Oh noes, anywon got smellin sawlts?
**surchin furr my lawst shakur ov sawlt**
Here, yoo kin haz myne. *provides shakur of sawlt; also a fresh flip-flop and a spunj kayk* Ther, that shuld do it!
Ofankz gremmie! **nibblin awn spunj kayk**
U feelin bedderer yet PH?
Iffn ther’z only won itz eivver a “fleep” or a “flawp”!
*whisspurrz:
I finso it b a ref tu deh Jimmy Boofay song….. u noez…. “burnt owt a flip-flop”….
Owr frend Parrothead is a beeg Jimmy Buffett fan. Is frum teh sawng – Margaritaville. She wuz “looking for her lost shaker of salt.” Uther lyrics inklood “blew owt mah flip-flop, steppt on a pop-top” and “nibblin on spunj kayk.”
Is a sawng I thot wuld mayk her feel beddur.
I givd her teh shaykur of salt, a gnu flip-flop, and a spunj kayk! 
… stepped onna pop-top …
(duz ennywun else even remember whut those were??)
Unfortunately…
(Ai bleeves taht reefers tew a See Bee radidio.)
Ah, pop-tops. Startin to be a thing of teh passt.
A memree: I wuz in Noo Orleens bak in teh erlee 90s. Ther wuz liddel boys dantzing in teh Fronsch Quarter hoping that peeplols wuld giv them munnies.
On theyr shooz they had put teh metal bottlol lids to mayk noyze lyke tap-dantzing.
Oh dear… poor Tweety… *sigh* Sylvester’s gonna be very upset that he will not be credited for Tweety’s demise…
Last words were…”I tawt I taw a…”
PootyTat!! Iz dat u in deh pixor??
I know nufink!
And pleez to spit owt that fevver! I means nao!
Whut?!? Fifsh? *ptooey* Ehem…Whut?!?
oh i didz knot c yur sylvester commint wenz ai saidz myne… iz grate mindz tink alyke
Couldn’t say, “Don’t eat me ” either
Nor “poisonous”.
aparrently not.
kidding!
Ah, por birdie. Wonder if he could say ow.
You had a burd but I eated him
he wuz nootrishus and delishus, also colorful
butt hoapfullee nawt poysin!
*Urp*
oh noes. Me and Gremmie tried to purtektify you. We donut wanted ew to see dis!
**unfaynts** Mai stoopy wurk iz lyke dat, ai iz nawt free tu be heer win ai wanna be, an awlais free atta wrong time! **Faynts agin**
*sprays kold waddur in PH’s fayce* SPEAK to us, PH!
my workity work laek dat too/also. didja see inna string above our efforts to purtektify you. stat, someone get dis burdie a oxeegin mask in a beak shape
*fans the parrot with a floofeh tabbeh paw*
you is sayfe, you is a fren and I no has a hungry now
**unfaynts** Fanks two-kittehs! Ai wuz wurried we hadda hab anudder benefit consurt!
*puts cat soot on parrothead, for sayfeetee porpoises*
Hay, fankz, dis a nyce soot! **Lukz arownd tu see witch kitteh iz naykee**
:LOL:
I bot it online. It wuz nawt stole frum enny kittehs yoo noes. And boy, duz yoo look nyce in it! Nobuddy culd hardly tell yoo wuzzint a reel kitteh.
*sees beek stikking owt, snikkers a bit*
Der iz sayfeetee porrpoises? Doo dey keep uz saef? I haz nebber seed wun. Doo dey ware beeg yallo sayfeetee hats?
Summat lyke dat, oh yesh. *nods hed with a vigor* And they is doing teh safeetee dantz! Lyke teh men withowt hatz . . .
Onoes, PH, yu wurnt sposed to be lukin or listnenin!
Um- um – it wuznt a burdie, akshully – it wuz a – a – a fevvur dustur! Yeh, dats it, kitteh felt liek innurds needed dustin an eated fevvur dustur!
Owaylden, datz ok! Hao iz yu?
Iz pritty ok for raynee Windsday at wurk. Onleest gud fing is lolfrenz today.
*waves PH wif fan* Oh noes PH, pleez tu nawt mostlee faint! Iz okai! Teh burdie wuz teh yeller wun frum akross teh street dat wuz jelus uf ur pretty culurs adn wantid u deded! Teh kitteh saved u! Iz troo, reely! Pleez tu b okai!
Fanks FluffyB! Aiz otay nao. Awl dat burd-brayne (wait, wut?) hadda due wuz aks an I wudda gibbed him sum culurful fevvers soon az mowltin seezun comed. **shrugs**
O carp! Stoopy pleh wurk cawls agin! Gotta start leevin teh awfice furr lunch. Pfft! Fanks fur awl the purtekshuns and halps and stuffs guise! Sea yu laydur!
*wayves floofy paw*
come back soon!
Presumably _all_ of the 350 words he knew were not “help”.
One could almost say “none of the 350 words he knew was ‘help’”.
mai braynium hurtz.
Caik aneewun?
Hay! iz that mai sistur?
U haz a Hay sistur?? Iz u made uv straw?? u b a famblee uv skeercrowz??
no, butt (!) she iz a liddul bit uv a lolspeek t-r-o-l-l.
ai iz wurking onnit. ther may bee sum hoap for hur.
Wut? Ai haz nawt seen teh burdie. Ai iz maikin u a birfdai prezzie, a pritty fevver boah. Wuz posed tew bee a srprize an naow teh srprize iz ruint. Hmph! Noe appresheeashun!
*Snerk* Little birdies can not escape the wrath of kitty! Mwhahahahahaahahahahahaha…….. *Burps out a couple feathers* O_O *Runs*
*ominous music* Little does kitty know that Alfred Hitchcock’s vengence seeking ‘the birds’ are gathering on the telephone wires, jungle gyms and nearby roofs waiting for kitty to stick his nose out the cat flap…..
…. Den dey will carpify on himz hed.
**narrows eyez at Grantski**
*adjusts PH’s cat soot a bit* Ther. Wun of yor “pawz” wuz gidding reddy to fawl orf.
skampurrs in an appliez antiwrinklol creem rownd ph’s iis an skampurrs owt agin
You beat me to it BF! Now what am I s’pposed to do with this gob of anti-wrinklololol cream?!??1!
Mebbe yu can twy eet awn teh twolls? Yu nebber know, yu know? (mebbe eets vanishing cream?)
OOO! Dats a gouda idear!!! Vanitch da twolls!!
I tink Maus habs sum noo winklols dat hee kud yoos som halp on.
Semantics FAIL.
If “one of the 350 words he knew was not, “help””, that means that one of the remaining 349 could be.
Try “Not one of the 350 words he knew was “help”"
Deer Eric, semantiks, liek speling an gramer, are strikly opshunal on tihs websiet. Many uv us are hilee edjumakated an come her for teh funs of not wurrying about wurd fails. (We has to do de wurrying fing IRL all teh time). So pls to grin at teh joak an not frown at teh langwidje. Kthxbye
Naow naow Duffy, pleez NPT!
*taiks Duffy bye teh hand an tehy skip awf tew teh brake ruum fer caik*
How about this
Forsoth, he knewth not the word help.
Better?
bery well dun, greyhawk, bery well dun
I wud chanje it to “Halp” for guud mesure tho. *shrug*
(this cuming frum the speelign + grammer natzi uv her fambly)
Thanks – you saved me making the same comment.
Elsa mama, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this message. WordPress may nom it, I don’t know. I just want you to know that I’ll be praying for you and your family. I can’t begin to understand, but I can offer my empathy, and I can always offer you my prayers.
Jimbo, yu mayde it! YAY!
Liekwize Jimbo….
Well, hopefully the moderator is done nomming me now. I hope her friends here can give her some strength.
Poor kitteh. Y teh guy not no how 2 sey “HALP!”?
RIP Alex. *sniffle*