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HOW TO GET HUMAN FOODS
1: ask nicely FAIL
2: beg sweetly FAIL
3: demand politely FAIL
4: fake a hunger swoon FAIL
5: cry like a baby IN PROGRESS
Picture by: kerrykatz4. Caption by: Winnie-Wonka via Advanced Lol Builder
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Distrakt ur hoomin den grab
Eksweez moo, do yu mynd if Ai hang tihs heer? Fur teh peeps taht mist teh eerly mornin post:
We innerupt this LOL to maek to foLOLowin Nouns Mint bowt Teh Rayse Fur Lyf
Larst Caturdai mornink (miggul ob the nyt, fur the Merkin peeps), Tidmum, TehAngstyWun an me wolked 5km, arownd a contree park, in Swine Town. An ebery step we tuk raisd munnees fur Cancer Research UK. It awlso raised blisters but we dint cayr; we kept goin enneewai!! Tidmum has the varry cuss vanes anna borkd bak; TehAngstyWun has the fibro my ouchia; an mai pelvis has been miss teary us lee replaised wiv cheesy wotsits – butt(!) we awl kept goin to the end.
Between us, we haz raisd abowt £1000 ($1622)
Tomorro, SJ/Martoonie dus her Rayse Fur Lyfe at Hyde Park, in Lunnon. She has raised a fur nommy nul amownt awlreddy – ober £1000 awl bai hersef!!! – butt (!) wudn’t sai “no” to mor sponsors!
Awl owr sponsor paijes R still “lyv”, tho myn an Tidmum’s an TehAngstyWun’s will go doan verree sune, so if yu wud lyk to sponsor ennee ob us, or just sai “Well Dun”, or “Gluk” plees go to
Rais Fur Liyf
Awn CheezTownCryer
Mennee cheezfrenz has been affected bai cancer, heers juss a fyoo hoo cud Benny Fit form ennee munnies yu can spayr fur Cancer Research UK (Ai kno it’s a Brit charridy, but they is verree gud at playin nyse an shairing wiv odders!)
Elsa-Mama’s Matt
Pwnedby2kittehs
Mitts
Catslave
Cassidy an Hubcat
psst, Ambercat.
I shud be awn dat liszt too. (Sinse 1986)
rhsb
Tiny point, a ‘merkin’is a pubic wig.
That’s how my cats always did it.
and the pointy-endz are on deck….waiting thier turn.
**Iz temptid to say sumfin abowt teh poynty enz alreddy bein cloze to teh deck….**
to an extent…..denim=armor.
Nawt completelee, akkordin to my memreez.
yur memreez bin attakt buy teh poynti endz??
Yah, I prolly got skars dere too.
Sneek up awn teh kownter adn likk teh bowl … WIN
Oops – papa kechez me duin it … HOWSE ARREST
jump awp awn lahp adn gif purree fas butz – WIN
I can has “gud luk” vibes, plz?
I finded a munnie awn teh grown yesturday an am gonna by a Powerball tikkit wif it. Teh drawin iz tonite an teh jakpot iz 60 millyun munnies.
Ifn I win, dere’s gonna be a MASSIV CHEEZ-PARTEE!
Woo hoo! Sendin lotz o gud vibes ur way!
Lottery: speshul tax fur peepz hoo fayled math. — Garrison Keillor
dat b wun uv mai faboritest kwotez frum him.
( iknoez, deh smilee faisez b deh PLEH!, but if u kant beet ‘em, joyn ‘em!
gud luk rhsb!
I hopes yu win kaus I culd uz a cheez-partee! Kan wii haz it sumwheres besyde KY?
How bowt Hawaii?
Wurks fur mii!
ai habz a tymeshaer awn kawaii…
Yay!!1! Ai wanna go 2!! *crossing als fingers’n'thingz* Hopehopehope!! Gud luk 2 yu, frend Red!!
PURRRRR-vibe! PURRRRR-vibe PURRRRRR-vibe awn yew, oh liubbly red hedded wench! am vizualizin yr dans dans when yew wins!
u fergot 6. Gib long stern stare from under ur “eyebrows” – never fail. Make hoomins feel gilty.
My Josie nevur did #1-4. Hur wentid strate to #5.
Kynda lyke da Baby-cat cheez alarm!
Egg-zacklee!
Josie did dat foar sushee, toona, salmon, etc…
My Pan Man uses teh follwing proseejure
1. look kyoot
2. stick nose in hooman fase
3. Steel foods straight frum bowl.
Hoomin manipulashun, ur doin it rite. How Cats Manipulate Us
Yup. Is mind control fershur. Always newit.
Persunly I welkm ar felin overlordys.
Lol thats pretty funny look at my um …… my lolz lol srry my brain is confuse dlol jk
ai be stoopee tudai….wuz awn las LOLcat wundren wear efurewon wuz!
ahlso –
hay, cheezfrens, ai has questun….wear bii teh storee awf Ben Huh adn teh LOLsites? Kint fine nuffin awn teh site hear.
Kthxbai
Has yoo tryed googlol?
ai tawt dere wud be ‘ahbot us’awn teh cheezsite, tho…
tiem fur wikee???
I finded it wif google. Kynda gotta read thru resultz tho kaus alowt uf da fyrst wuns just bii LOL’s.
Kthx….aisle du dat!
naow, naow, NAOOOOOWWWWWOWORRRRLLLLL
I am raisin a baba orphan kitteh and it goes strait to the cry like a baby when its hungry(after trying to nurse off my male cats first of course)
mai kyttiekat juz jumps inna bowl … leepatyleep style.
SKWEEE!!! Iz mah huzbin an little Pepe kitten dat I takin care of for a cuppel weeks….I hassa happy!
Awww, Pepe bii beri, beri kyoot!!!! Did hubbi give in a share?
Yez….kittehs always gets wat dey wants in dis howse!! Dotter of frend looking for apt., and so we kitten sitting!! Is fun to hassa kitten agin, him full of sass and be terrorizin da older kittehs….dey NAWT WANT to plays wif hims. I has elebenty hunnerd pics of him on mah profile!
KK4! OMG! I was just thinking bout u a few whiles ago and now here u is!
*hugs KK4*
Oh, and… RIPPERTON!
LCB!!!! Ripperton NAWT happy wif bebbeh kitten dat wanna plays wif his tayle all da time and wiggles and pounce on Ripperton!! Him growls and hisses at da bebbeh an bebbeh nawt be scared…dis make Ripperton xtra grumpy faced boy!! How has yu been?? {{{{LCB}}}}
Pore Ripperton. He will come around, I is teh sure of it.
I is ok. Has been teh bizzy at works and getting over a lingering pleh, but I was able to go to teh Seattlol Cheezmeet and Baseblol Game and hadded many funs!
Da cheezmeet must have bin fun! I gotta call on Thurs., dey sez dat I gonna get a call Mon or Tues and get mah old job bak!! I gonna miss bein hoem wif da kittehs, but I sure gonna liek gettin a paychek agin!
Yay for paychex! Um, I can cash urs for u when u gets it. Lookit all teh pritty color monopolies moneys I has for u!
oooh!! Yellow munnees!
Mii boi goggies awl waes trii da cri like a babbeh ta getz stuffz frum mii older gurl goggie — it NEBBER werkz, butt dey awl waes triis it. Da onlee fink datz werks alla tyme iz wait til sheez distractamated and den runzinwifdaquikestquikness steelz it an den runzawaeasfastasfastkinbee afore shii gits up and KILLZ you!!
Da onlee fink da savez dem lives is at da Lady Jane iz kin nawt runz berry far, butt shez da smart an waitz furr dem two cumz around and den shii springies owt (she iz a Springy Spaniel affer awl) and body slamz dem and getz herz revenge!
Soundz prutty livlee aroun’yur home dere, EM! Deh pupz’n'gogz gib uz plenteez lub & laffz!!!
Yesh, ifinkso! Smooz to you and to yours deer EM
=^!^=
Ohyea — da goggies keep stuffz liberly around heerz…
I gotta go run sum erranz.
See y’all laytur!
Haz fun!! Bring home da winnin tikket!
Alrite, I’m bak.
**grumblolz abowt stoopy dryvurs**
Liddill Tukkz Kitteh
shoodz juss putz hurz fayss inz Boal
andz Nomz Pisskettee!
Pisskettee purr~fekkt
4 Kitteh 2 Nomz. Habz awll
gud stuffz Kitteh needz
Liddill Tukkz Kitteh
may maykz mess, butz itz woodz beez
uddurlee wurfz itz
Jack.
*clappity clap floofy paws* Bootymus!!
iz amayzink haow much noyse koms frum such leetelol mouwths..
Lol maker fergit #6: poke fut in fud-WIN ET AWL FUR MEEEE!!1
very funny
ohai, heerz teh burfday fairy to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to SonOfPlunder, Leosmom, an CAROLHARREL an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today! i haz bringed tasty fudjy burfday cakes, buttery yello caeks wif crunchy topping, iskreem, frooty party punch, noyzemakers, an goodie bags filled wif bownsy balls taht liet up wen tehy bownse, mood rings, sekrit ajint sunglasses, kandee, an sparkly fishy stikkers! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to makeing all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
Iz alrite, bf. It happinz.
Tu boldlee go wair no burfday fairy haz gone b4!!
Will we be up to our whatzits in bold cuppy caeks now?
*Putz on mood ring.
oooooo Orinj!!!
fank u burfdai fairy! Ai’d lyke sum fudgy caik pleese!
*puts awn sunglasses and sings *seekrit aaaagent man, seekrit aaaaagent man, they’ve given u a number an taiken way ur naim*
Oh, happy birfday u gais!!!
*putson teh golden shoos and teh tappy shoos an duz a littul dantz for
SonOfPlunder, Leosmom, an CAROLHARREL!*
Hope dat y’all has a wunnurmuss day!
awwww, feed da babeh kitteh
My cat only wants Whiskas :j
Mah goggie hits me with the big sad eyes
Bob duz deh fut fing. He sit politeelee, reech owt an tuch my arm naow and den like ‘hey.’… ‘hey, remember mehs?’and if he no can has reak shun after abaout siks of dem pokings he jus puts fut in fud.
Den is meh yellin ‘HEY!!!€’
Stoopee Dave is moor diye-rect: he likkz and bites mah fingurs as if tu say ‘feed meh, or youz iz nekst!’
6) Stick nose in hoomin’s plate of food.
That looks a lot like my cat, Sylvester.
Of course, the other alternative would be to stick your paw in the human’s food and force them to give it to you or throw it away, at which point you promptly retrieve it from the garbage can.
My cat waits patiently until you are distracted for a second, then whacks the food with her paw, hopefully dumping it on the floor. Both methods work equally well.
Cleerlee derez sum kinda yuuge kitteh corn speer cee goin on heer–way tuu much ko insidne coin tuu much similaritee!!!
Spoze dey do con frenzez online and wurk owt dere next muuvz?
Ferry lil bastidz!
Bob, layin next tu me wher he can readz screen JUST SNICKERED!!! It IZ a con speeracee!!!
100% tru!!!
7: Steal some of the food from right under their nose
8. Summoning tah bassment kat
or just bite teh hoomins yurselves