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Cheezburger Network Blog
teh goggie did it!
Teh goggie yu berried yesterday?
ai noe nuffink…
*whissles innosintlee*
Conga-ratz awn leedin tey brayde, jk2k!
Wut drinkees an silly brayshuns wud yoo lyk?
hmmm… haow bowt sum lubberlee sordid noms an a nyce glas uv peenoe greegheeoe?
**offurs jk2k sordid noms an a peeno greejiho**
U kayr if I has a stiff…..drink? Iz been a lawng week.
My goggie is so gullible, she ran on teh rode wunce. Lucky she dun got runned ova. But I still luvs her she my lil fat pig.
lol i love how this somehow doesn’t get 5 cheezburgers. most classic thing i’ve seen on here this year.
U means it was youth in Asia?
sumwun kawl dokktur ke-voark-ee-un?
*grin*
doktur K iz mai heero. We nedez maor ub himz fur owr mizreez.( da peepulz hoo gibz us dem)
Yah, an my liszt is growin…
CC, grant me da kerrij 2 chaynj da fingz I can, da payshuntz 2 aksept da fingz I caynt chaynj, n da wizzdum 2 hyd da boddeez uv da ppl I hadded 2 kill cuz dey hakt me awf…
A-NOM, MY BRUTHA!
Anom! I need dat onna t-shirt!
Wattz awl dis fuss I keap heerin bowt yooth n Ayzyuh? I finksew forinn eggz-chaynj proegrumz b teh gud 4 owr kidletz! Watt beddurer plais 2 gitz uh whale-rowndid edyoomucayshun dan n plaisiz liek Chynna n Indeeyuh n Rushuh. We shood can haz moar yooth n Ayzyuh. I fink…
.
*wispurrs* That’s “euthanasia”
.
Ohhh…… Nebbermynd…
emily latella FTW!
I miss Gilda Radner — she was the funniest! Her “sax and violins on TV” bit still cracks me up!
Mewsik iz gud fur owr solez enny waiz yu can maik it.
Wat’s awl dis fus abowt endanjered feecees? Haow kin u POZIBLY run aowt ub such a fing???
*iz annoied* Species!
O… nebbermyyynnnnd…
Gilda for the win.
*sigh* ai had tew reed dat free tymes before I figured it out!
congarats to Jk2k and lcb for nawt sekkund!
Da lamp jumpted awn me win I wuzn’t watchin
Dat wazn’t bery bright ob it.
I awlwaiz thotted it wuzza bit dim…
Just a shade.
*holds hand to ear* watt? ah can’t ‘ear ya……ahm goin’ ohm.
RESISTANCE is futile…
wood u awl jez liten up?
*is powerless to resist…*
… the tension was just ELECTRIC …
oh, put a plug in it, willya?
Nao ai will haz to sell mah jools tew bah a gnu wun…
BDM!
I wuz car dansin 2day! To a sawng I nawt kin say teh reel titlol heer, butt iz a 2-werd wun dat meens “Insayne Feemayl Goggie”, by Buckcherry.
Ai hadd 2 pull teh plug owt – we had a thunnerstorm an Ai lost teh innerchoobs!
HGTTG FTW!!
Yoo may thank me laytur.
Wif lotsa gushifuds.
Ai put it owt uv its mizeree
an owt ob MY mizree, too.
Yep, it lukks az iffn it wuz berry fuglee !
oh yes, ugly as a mud-fence.
ugly enough to make a train take a dirt-road.
do ya seez dat da kitteh tooks out da base furr da portabobol fone two … ?
ko lateral damij, wii kin haz it.
It keepz makin noise durin hymez nappy tyme. It had tu go tu!
ugly as a hat full of….oh nebbermyned.
it’s mizeree, out mizeree…….whatevver.
er….our, our mizeree. (sheesh)
Dat’s wat Ai redd in teh nawt sekund plaes!
it was tauntin’ meh terribleh.
Did it sez ur muvver wuz a hamster & dat ur favver smelt uv elderberries?
Mebbe it fortid n himz jenrul durekshun…
mebbe, butt *sigh* goggie breath wuz mentioned.
an an itz sed mii pointee endz were nawt pointee an mii sisyur wuz a engrish setterz
Haow menny elderberries yu eted? Mai grama sed dey smel liek bedbugz. I stil traid tu maik da whine wif dem nd gawt sum berry kulurful binegur.
yoo know, i alwayz wunderd taht. now i knowz. will tell my boi hoo also liek teh monty pyfon.
Um … wut duz bedbugz smell liek?
*waits fur sumwun to answer, “elderberries.”*
elderberries.
tehr, feel better now?
Monty Python- FTW!
(Silly enlish speaking kaniggitts!)
Oh noes!
Say ‘taint so!
naow goe awai oar ai shal tawt u a sekkund tyme!
i knowz wut yoo meen, kitteh.
Wud dis faec lie to u?
*holds up bebbeh otter*
did yoo paying teh lissensing feez to guiness piggeh for yoozing taht bebbeh otter?
Ub coarse nawt. Dis beez mah bebbeh otter, Roscoe! Ai winned him fair & skware in teh coconut shying contest!!!
oh, tahts right. mebbee giness piggeh shuld paying YOO teh lissensing feez.
Well, it wuz himz lien eben if it wuzzint himz bebbeh otter.
*tosses GP a munny*
It wuz a death trap! Awlmost killed mii.
Teh lamp. It wuz teh sooicidul. Ai tried to halpify it. Rillee!!!
It jumped before I kuld git da lampy katchy fingy!
Kevorkiakitteh, calling Dr. Kevorkiakitteh
I nawt finkso da Dr. iz needed, luks lyke kitteh did a fine job wifowt hyme.
wut i tellz peeple wen tehy tryz to gib me a plant, iz i am teh dr. kevorkian for plants, tehy shuld only come to me wen tehy iz reddy to die.
yepper, I’ve killed cactus.
.
not mesquite trees though, after the apololypse, there will be cockroaches and mesquite trees, and Keith Richards most likely.
yup, if nuffin haz killed keith richards yet, he’s never going to die. (finkso he even sed so himself, after him falled owt ob taht tree)
yup, thoze meskeet treez are hard to kill. i lives in tooson, we haz much meskeet treez. i haz a nise wun in my bakyard, only reezon it’s so nise iz cawz i not planted it, iz a volunteer. if i planted it i prolly wuld hab killed it.
*snerk*
“… iz a volunteer.” We haz sum uv dem & dey livz a long tiem. Momcat can grow fings. Ai gaev up long ago.
Me too, LM!
I nawt haz green thum. I haz blak thum ‘o deth.
Yep! Mommakat awlwais wantin tu gib mii plants, I say no fank yu, awl I haz tu du iz walk by dem an dey will die. Matter uf fax I got 4 dyein awn da front porch rite now.
I wud kill plastik if dere wuz a way.
Franklee, I’m surpryzed Josie libbed az lawng az hur did.
Libbing fings nawt so much in danger wif mii kaus dey make noise an remynd yu tu water an feed dem. Iffin plants had moufs maibii dey kuld lib round heer.
Scary vision o Plant wid mouf! Steel my noms! NOT WANT!
(Use pot for litteh box)
thems arent weeds in my frunt yard, tehms wildflowers. teh only fings i kan growing are fings taht wnat to be tehr anyway.
When ai go to teh nursuree and buy plants, ai haz a talk wif dem on teh way hoom … dat iffen dey want to live, it iz up to dem … ai am the plant-kiss-o-deth.
*giggles* Yep, bout tyme dem plants take sum responsibility fur demselvs!
Uggerly lamp, liek uggerly cowch, mus die!
What fings must kitteh kill, foar teh sayk ob hoomanity?
.
Avacado sculpchure
Bed (for goggie)
Couch
Desk
E…
Evvying onna flore
Fernicher
Goggies
H…
Haoussplanntz
Insecks
Jellee donutz
K…
Knickaknackz
Lace curtings
Mousies, kittehnip stufft pretend toy type
New skirt hemz
O…
Oald lampz
Pritty chyna ladees
Quick, hydes teh bodees!
R…
I went tuwards da light, nd da lite wuz reelie, reelie meen, nd so’z ai kikkd da litez butt….
ohai, i am going to jump in heer off-topik for a minit, to tawk abowt how gud peeples kan being. i duz nayborhood fundrayzing for teh Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (in honor ob a deer frend ob mine hoo losted her battle 13 yeerz ago). Izn’t much on my part, i just puts teh letters in teh envelopes an addresses teh envelopes and response evelopes, an sends tehm to abowt a duzzen ob my naybors. teh fun-drayzing gole for my nayborhood iz $35. i haz gotted sevral chekks in response, for a totlol ob $85!! taht iz being more taht twise teh gole! so i haz a happy taht peeple iz willing to donate teh munnies, to helping peeple liek my frend Shiori (RIP) an also PB2K an Matt.
Sumtymes peepz amaze mii wif dere grace, otter tymes nawt so much. Sondz lyke yu haz gud and karing neighbors.
U go gurl!!! U fite dem ebil kan sirz!!!!
Mai liddlol bruzzer survivinged deh ebil Lymphoma menny yrz ago, but den adn eben moar ebil Kansir cameded and killingifyed him 4 yrz ago. Wii must tu fite AWL deh ebil kansirz!! It takingz menny bravenesses tu fiting deh ebil kansirz.
Schmooooz tu u, Lunarmommy adn tu awl deh peepz hoo b gibbing munneez tu halpz.
congee cats shoe lay shuns! nyce!
wii haz heer a gud hosspytil foar teh kanser (butt ebben tehy kannt alwais hab teh win), inn teh giftee shawp tehy haz teh funnee tee shyrts… wii gotz wun foar mai sissturinnlaw hoo is obbercoming ikee kanser, it sais ‘ov coars tehy is faek, teh reel wuns tried to keel mii!’
shee laffed awl teh dai, butt sais shee has tew bee caerful wer shee wers it…
yup, taht mite not go ober too gud at teh church soshul or teh offiss piknik.
gud wun tho.
Teh kitteh … wif teh lamp … n da dynin rume
teh lamp iz bofe teh weppon an teh viktim!
I gess Mistur Boddee gotted awai dis tym…
pore mr. boddee, how manee times kan wun purrsun get murderfyed?
I dunno … letz ask Mr. Owl …
.
Wun … tewhooo … free … *krunch* … “FREE”
tootsie roll pops FTW!
iz teh “krunch” teh last time?
Frenz, I wented to lunsch at teh moast PURRFECK playse 2day!
Dere wuz no less den 30 peeplols (moastlee menz) frum teh Nashunal Gard center (in camo-fateegz), lokal polyse an state polyse in der!
Awl dat wuz missin wuz teh fyremenz.
**Swoons at teh thot**
finkso yoo will becoming a regulol tehr?
Onlee ifn I finkso iz gonna happin agin!
Letz go rite now, wif a quikness!
I lub a man in a Uniform!
Oh, Ifinkso I need tu kome an tyke yu owt tu lunsch!
Frankfort iz berry gud town to living in. Dere iz state polyse an lokal polyse. Teh Nashunal Gard center baks up to my werk’s propurtee an teh fyremenz iz nexst door. (I haz watched dem play krokay an warsh teh truk in dere bak yard.)
*swoons* Du dey wash da truck shirtless? Wif just dere fyremen obberawls on? *fans self* Wow, iz gitten hawt in myne howse, wunner wats rong wif da AC.
Overalls and no shirt? Lordy, what a mental image….
Unforchunatlee nawt. t-shurts an pantz. BUTT dey do yoose teh beeg hoze.
**fans self**
I finkso I needs to go has a “breevin treetmint”…..
brb
Hmmm… lessee…
rhsb + fyrminz + “breevin treetmint” = ???
.
O I gittit! Datza lawng wai uv herz saiyin “Pant pant pant!”
No, Ahz….ovurawls.
3km – Fankyoo foar dat mentlol pikshur. U has NO EYEDEA ware my mind wentid.
**Red leens bak, wif a dirtee liddlol grin awn hur fayse.**
Yur welkome fur da unintended mental pikture. I know were my mynd wuz, it wuz wif wet fyremens in dere fyrefiten obberawls wif no shirts, an tan, strong arms!
Jes nawt menshun towlols unless u wanna put me ovur teh edj…
how else are the fyremens gonna dry thier big shiny machines?
Towlol….big masheen….
**Red passes owt cold**
KA-THUNK!
Pleez nawt imagine da towlols aksidently coming undun an fawling off. Yu’ll nebber recobber!
*slips swoonin couch unnder red*
*calls over YNGs wif palm fronds*
careful der!
Fanks, gammacat.
Yah, I’m still passed owt frum teh prevyus thred, waytin foar the fyremenz.
Garsh, I hoap dere nawt comin frum Texas agin…
with all the grass fires………ya might be in for quite a wait.
**long sad sigh**
Nawt agin…
O, speekin uv teh fyrminz, heerz sum innerstin nooz:
But mai nefyoo gotted nom-nom-nominaytid 4 uh Red Kraws Heeroe uhward 4 triein sew hard 2 sayv da kidlet at da risk uv himz oan lyf.
Mai nefyoo ho yoosta libz heer n Jorja moovded bak 2 Arkinsaw n naow izza fyrmin. Himz winted to himz nawt-sekkund big fyr uh fyoo weakz agoe. Awlmoast evvywun wuz owtta da bildin septin uh 2-yeer oald. Mai nefyoo winted bak n 2 luk — n lukked n lukked n lukked, but nawt fynd. Hims runded owtta ayr 4 breevin, sew himz ternded 2 goe owt win himz fynullee fownded da 2-yeer-owld. Bai dis tym himz wuz breevin teh smoak, but himz staid n gotted da 2yo n kerreed it owt ennywaiz. He givded it 2 sumwun, den himz pastid owt frun da smoak. Berree sadlee, da 2yo dint maykitt.
Yur nefyoo bii a beri kynd an givving soul! Fank gudness hyme iz ok. Terribly sorri bout da babbeh. How is hii dealing wif it?
Doan reelee b teh noein — I nawt can haz tawkted wif himz sintz da big fyr. Butt (!) I dew b teh noein himz nawt tawk bowt himz felinez muchlee. Sumfin liek dis (n dis bein himz nawt-sekkund tym 2 speerientz it) muss b teh hard 2 deel wif — I hoapz himz b tawkin wif sumwun, mebbe himz momcat (hoo izza EMT, sew herz b noein watt itz liek).
I hopeso tu! Iz nawt gud tu keep awl da insyde. Hyme momkat bein a EMT iz gud kaus shii kan unnerstand wat hii seen an felt.
I would think there would either be some sort of mandated counseling, or at least counselors made available to the firefighters. I know when I was lifeguarding, they brought in counselors when a child drowned (in a no-swimming area away from the lifeguards — kid had probably been underwater for at least half an hour before his idiot father & father’s girlfriend realized he was missing ….
). Lots of us were really shaken up by that one.
{{{nightshayde}}}
{{{neffew}}}
yor neffyoo iz trooly a heero. even if teh poor bebbeh didnt mayk it, yo nefyoo did himz very best an risk to himz own lief an limb. ifinkso yor nefyoo haz a gardian anjul now.
OH, red! Guess wat! I hazza new “hobbie” well, kinda hobbie. I iz teechin myself tu make wire wrap joolry!! I hazza big x-cited, til da ADD kiks in an I loose interesst atleast!
ohai, aifinkso teh fyremenz wuz awl at mai groserree stoar!
.
Q. How manee fyrmenz duz it tayke too buy groserees?
.
A. OMCC, like, FOUR!! and they wuz buying brekfast stuffs, and they sed “brekfast iz on Sunday”
.
FYREMENZ whut cuuks BREKFAST!!! OMCC!!
*fayntz*
Diz just may bii moore den Ikantyke! Fyremenz makin brekfast. *swoon*
fyremenz cooking! OMCC
*swoon*
I lub da wai kittehs lyke tu lay by dere kill an guard it, den wunner why yu finkso it wuz dem dat did it.
was like dat befor i was even borned!
cat’s just sitting there like “yeah, I did that. what of it?”
So naow yew seez hoaw subtile is de differmintz between Antique Stoodent lamp and old peez ob junk.
Frenz, I need opinyunz.
**lolspeek off**
Last night, I found out that classes start on August 22nd! YIKES, that’s soon! Also, I want to move around Labor Day, which is early-September.
I really don’t think I’m going to be able to handle everything all at once. I’m going to be part of a MASSIVE yard sale August 5-8, and am still not ready for it. Nothing is priced yet. Also, I haven’t even APPLIED for school, gotten any transcripts sent, etc.
So, I’m thinking about maybe putting off school until January. I hate having to do that, but it’s the only option I see right now that makes sense, because hopefully everything would have calmed down and I would be able to concentrate on school. CC KNOWS that I need all the help I can get when it comes to school, because it’s been a good 10 years since I’ve attended any classes.
Opinions? Thoughts?
Du wut awl kittehs du win haz big pwobbum:
Takes nap.
Start in January, IMHO. Ifinkso wunce yu git settled yu kan consintrate moore awn skool. Iffin I wuz tryin tu dew it awl, da skool wuld suffer.
Ifinksew 3km iz rite, butt (!) nawt oanlee wood skool suffer, evvyfing els wood suffer tew. Bestist 2 nawt b puttin teh 2 minnee eyernz inna fyr…
.
… unless U wontz teh fyrminz…
*luks fur eyernz an a fyre* Aw, crud, I got nether!
moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, so it might make sense to delay classes…Just don’t be like me and keep putting them off. Things never really calm down as much as you would like them to!
Izza hard deesihshun… ai awlmoast wood sai tew start naow, iffen u can, coz ai noe haow eezee it cud bee tew sai in jannyouaeree “ai’ll start in summertyme”… an tehn u nebber get dere.
Dew yew habs tew dew much, reelee, foar teh yard sael?
ai’d goe an apply naow, enneewai, an see wut teh skooll sais. Gud luuk!
Would taking just one class in the fall be an option? It might not be as much of a time/stress commitment — and it would ease you into the student thing.
Sit down with a notebook (not a computer, use real paper) and put into writing all the things you ‘want’ to do. Make notes about dates, time involved and cost. Once you have written all your ‘wants’ down, get one of those big desk calendars and start making out a schedule. Getting it all out of your head and down on paper will help you make the right decision for yourself without relying on advice from strangers.
That’s my advice.
…muzt b mizzing sumtang… luks norml 2 mi …
Hay — I needz sumz inputs — mi brudder gotz two bebbeh kittehs an naw mii sisyur in lawz sez shii gonna hab dem de-clawed. I tolded herz “NO CUTTIN OFF DA KITTEHZ TOEZ!!” butt shez nawt lissenen ta mii. haz enneybudy here oozed dose finks da do onna da pointee ends oar hab eeny suggesteeunz???
start trimming their nails and get good scratching posts! if you start when they are babies, they don’t mind too much!
oh, and sticky paws – basically giant rolls of double sided tape.
I haz nebber declawed deh kitteyz. I noez dis haz ben diskussed heer b4. I b lukking fur sum uv deh commintz……Ower PrysmaKitteh sez “Declawing removes the entire first knuckle of each digit (look at your hands… now imagine having not just your fingernails removed but the whole knuckle they’re on). It can cause long-term phantom pain, sensitivity, and some serious psychological territorial issues in some cats.”
chek dese webby sitez… just close up deh spaic….
h ttp://www.softpaws.com/
h ttp://www.declawing.com/
I tolder herz awl dat — she kin beez berry stubborn .. sews Ifink it weel needz ta beez da softee pawz. I eben hadz ta sayz dat i wood bee da wun ta clippy da nailz and putz on da cubberz
Des haz tu wallkz onna borked owwiiee tootsies too! An use dem for littah baux diginz an suchlyke. Hurtz der backs too – dey needz to stretchees out awl lawng fur hellthee musscells an bowns. Sombetimes des groes bak awl fubered. Verry, verry bads & crewel for kittehs – nawt want!
I applogizes fro mi rant – declaws iz sore spot for meez – iz so minny wais to keep kittehs frum schrachez stoofs, juz needs patienze & stufz theyz can schrachies on.
We interpz wid an important moewsage from NOM NOM :
Declawed cats often start having “Litter box issues” when they get older-say 7 or 8 years. Reason being that the cat litter starts getting balled up in the depression where the claws used to be-so, it becomes painful for them to paw the litter (This is instinctual), SO, they will “go” right outside the box! This often leads to cats being dumped at a shelter. Can help to use the soft sand type of litters.
On scraching post, make sure they are TALL and STURDY – That is why they scratch couches-they don’t topple over! You can use a citrus sachet mounted in a few places on couch to discourage the cat. Cats SMELL the area, before they scratch, and, most cats HATE citrus!
(Back to the LOL SPEAK wif a quickness!)
Goggle it, an show them wat it iz awl about! I had no idea what they did tu declaw a cat til myne hubbikat telled mii. I nawt ebber had wun declawedk but fursum reason I just thot they removed teh nail. Show Her! I am sure there is a video around that shows the hole gory, cruel act! Best uf luck! Sorri I gitted a little carried awai.
Dat shuld bii Google, Inawtfinkso Goggle will wurk unless yu goin swimmin.
I haven’t tried the things you slip onto their claws, but keeping scratching posts they like has helped a lot. They may need a couple — some cats prefer scratching vertical surfaces & others prefer horizontal. Some just don’t care.
We got the Sticky Paws stuff because one of our six cats likes to claw furniture. Sticky Paws works great & it’s very easy. You can buy either a package of strips of it, or you can buy a roll (the roll is far more economical).
I’d definitely work the “how would you feel if someone decided that his belongings were more important than the top inch of each of your fingers & had part of your fingers amputated for his own convenience???” angle — and provide information/pictures/videos of how barbaric a procedure it is.
NS, nawt tu change subject, butt (giggle) yu haz 6 kittehs?!? Why mine hubbikat finkso 3 iz ottabounds?
We have a sisal-type mat for our kitteh (from PetCo), and since we got it, our super-scratchy cat (furniture) has left the couch and chair alone. She is also a super-grump, but she loves that mat. Sleeps on it. Scratches it. Is her own.
one of my kittens came from the shelter where he had already been declawed by the previous (stupid person). Duncan has always had difficulty with his paws and I think it stems from the declawing surgery. Remember it is surgery, not some little cosmetic grooming thing like a dogs declaw removal. Duncan is super sentive to some types of litter (with those anti-smell additives) and he has had a series of fatty tumors on his paws. The rest of him is healthy as all get out, but not those multilated furry hands.
Mai Sonata coeps prittee wele dispiet habbing bin declawed bai previus and stoopee hoomins. Haoebber, seh has sum trubbul wif landing at teh end ov lawng jumps and seh has tu stai insied alla tiem coz nawt as abul tu protekt hurself.
**Red goez arown teh room, liftin cushins awf teh cowch an luukin unner teh tablols**
Oh kwap. I nawt kin finding my dongle!
Wat bii yur dongle, an why du yu haz wun?
R u shur u wanna no? It is rhsb ur tawken tu.
Did you find it? I lost my pink skull dongle and finally found it in my jacket pocket.
kitty shud hev takin teh turdle orniment on teh tabel down wif teh lamp. Dem bofe needed killeded.
Oh wow, I have that exact same lamp, but I haven’t seen it in awhile. Hmm . . .
Childz proofinz iz not forz babiez onlee
Cleerly turttel pushed lamp.
who did kitty kill? maybe dog.
lol
Lokee curlee thing no brake – merkeree poysin kitteh n mak guise in wite sootz n masky tings come – hoomins not laffin.
Teh Rocky Horror Picture Show revival.