Gee tanks, I will have dem under da fridge ba morning.
Picture by: Elizabeth Ritchie. Caption by: Steve L via Our LOL Builder
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Gee tanks, I will have dem
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Dem Ai wull crie till u get dem owt agane
Congrats, annipuss, for teh tawp spot!
In yor honor, I duz teh “removing teh floofy maus frum under teh fridge” dantz. It goes lyke this:
*bend down, peer under fridge*
*see nuffin, go get a flashlite*
*see floofy maus far under fridge, too far to reech by hand*
*git a fly swatter or uther nearby implement, stick it under fridge*
*swipe it arownd til teh maus coemings owt, whence-upon it is POWNCED on by teh kitteh*
*lather, rinse, repeet*
Is a silleh dantz, I noes, but I duz it just teh sayme!
BTDTGTTS
Yur awnur Ms. Anni, ai nawt hadd enuff cawfee yet dis dai, pleez tu tell what the heck dat meens?
bin tehre dun that got teh t shurt!
Yep!
**slow sad hedshake** I need stronger coffee.
*imagines coffee pikking up parrothead, giving hur a shake and sayin ‘snap out of it’!*
Sorta like this?
Gremlin, yoo forgot abowt teh dust hippos, twist tyes, milk rings, foil balls adn odder sordid parafernaylia dat has bin lurking unner teh frij adn kums owt too!
Yesh, yesh, yoo ar rite! Sordid parafernaylia! Thatz whut we gotz. Lots of it!
Sumtimz awl dem meeces ain de flufffie stor buyed wunz!
An sumtiems whut teh kitteh brings in is nawt a maus!
In teh past week, mah older sister tole me that mah kitteh-boi’s mama brot into her frend’s haus:
a maus
a snake
a burd
(none of them ded!)
And Munday nite her frend walkt into teh kichin to fynd . . .
an opossum!!!! eetin frum teh kitteh fuds bowl
He sez – Nuff of that! He useta leave teh bak skreen door open at nite but he sez teh kitteh can coem an knock on teh frunt door iffn she wuntz in (and she duz – she klimbes up on teh ayr condishuner and mayks a noyse at teh frunt dor).
Wyld Kingdom, he has it!
Ma simp…simf…sinp…thoughts are with you. Ma two kittehs has hit thier stride as hunters.
In da past week, dey brougt into da living room:
One garter snake with a crooked tail (caught many times in the da spring and still survivin)
One ded burd
One chipmunk tail (and da pissed off chimpunk it belonged to, who scooted out teh door when I came home)
four bebeh mices…(an two grown up mices one of which got eated and trown up in the living room.)
So now teh backdoor is closed, and teh kittehs and I has conversayshuns about whether dey can go out every day…teh wildlife votes no, teh kittehs vote ‘all day, every day, and da nighttime too”
Teh eggspurts sez that a kitteh hoo brings teh fuds into teh haus (ded or alyve) is trying to shayr theyr fuds with their “helpless” hoomans. Yor kittehs is maykin shor yoo is well provided for!
… and insultifying ur intelligence, too!
*sits quietly stewing over whether teh poor chipmonk will re-grow hiz tayl lyke a lizzard duz*
If not, he can always go to a retail outlet.
*heddesk*
Bartender, mayke that a dubbil:
*heddesk*
*heddesk*
In addishun tu teh snakes, burds, an meeces, aye hadda kitteh whu suksessfulli stalked an bringed home tu her bebbehs a steak and hot dog.
Keshet – that is just FABuluss! *laffs hartily* A steak!
Fresh Nip Maeks me flip!!
congrats to teh nawt sekund teem of Annipuss and Judson!
fankies Minimins mawm. Is Minimin rilly mini?
mini for smawl wen himz waz a babbeh (himz still smawl kitteh!) n min = minou = puddy in teh fronsch langwidge. niknaem kinda staid wiv him altho himz now too yeers yung
Wot are dey?
ahhhhh towyz!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not to be nomming teh rodints!!!
Nom, prolly nawt. Teese torment an terrorize yesh
i dunno judson… teh first thing that happens at my house, is tehy lose their tales!!
yer roit, lemme amend: Teese torment terrorize and tear orf de tail. But(?) dey generally saves the Gnash, gnaw an gnom til later.
*whispurs* Leeza – they is nawt Losing them, they is being EATEN!!!!! That is teh nawt sekkund thing mah kitteh duz too!
It wurreez mah huzbing; he frets over it. “It kant be gud for heem, kannit?” he asks, with a sad and wurreed luk.
“Aw, let heem hav it!” I sez.
And – FOOM! – teh qat grabs that floofy maus, runsawayfast, and teh tayl is gon within 20 minnits! Teh kitteh then sits ther lookin pleezed with heemself.
*thinks to self* Perhaps we needs to start an addikshuns program for kittehs hoo is addikted to maus tayls. . .
*nod nod*
yesh… I meant “lose” as a you femism…
*hopes Maus is not reeding*
Reading what?
*puts paws over Maus’s eerz so he duzzint hear abowt teh maus tayls being nommed*
Mai OP ownli noms the head-to de-mibble. Hur leafs de assends fer hur Mom. Ifz hur catses tree meeces, hur eatz-up tree frun habes. Lebin meh a meessy, her iz!
um, NUTHING!
as far as you knows!
But…but…teh orinj iz poysen!
Ah, a klassic!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/25/teh-orange-ones/
Um, today I runs teh department of redundancy department, ifinkso!
A klassic!
icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/25/teh-orange-ones/
And I lubs this wun too!
icanhascheezburger.com/2008/08/25/funny-pictures-ones-r-poysin/
Taste teh ranebow!
Yesh, they is purdee – but duz they has a rattle insyde? Mah kitteh only plays with them if they has teh rattle insyde. Teh uthers, he ignorifies.
That rattel sownd is de guts rolling arownd insyde.
Eeeeewww
BlooMax onlee plays wif his Rattlemowse – all uther toies get disembo – umbowl – get teh stuffings ripd owt. But he flings Rattlemowse.
Simun’s best toi is a catnip sqwurrl with a velcro seam on teh tum so I can put fresh nip in.
A KATNIP SKWIRRRRRLL!!!!!!
*turns and looks askance, but with renewed interest, at leeza-b*
Whut do u think would come out if we undids teh velcro seem in leeza’s tum?
A lotta catnips?
Bourbon balls?
Cotton candy?
Dozens of dongles?
Everything but teh kitchen sink?
F…?
Floofy myce she ayt yestiday
Gigantik hayrballs
Hippopottamus feets, sawtayd in buttah with mushrooms in buttah sawse
I . . .
Jumpin kangaroos?
Kewtie pies?
Limburger cheezburgers?
M…
Oh noes, we has a divergence in teh forcE!
See down below, where list continues . . .
v
v
v
Free Willy poasters
Gumdrawps, assorded
Hevvy Metal
Icy creem!
Jumpin beenz
Koala parts
L…..
Lotsa katnip, teh hi-test variety! (shayken, nawt stirrd)
Mangoes, sliced
Nommalishus goodies!
O . . .
Orinj meeces (teh nawt poysun kynd)
Pritteh liddel posies, nommed freshly frum teh gardin
Quick but nawt quick enuff fuds
R . . .
Sardine bones
Tuna flakees
Undijested bitz of string
V…
Various chewed-up things
Weasel fur, rabid-smelling
Xs and Os
Yogurt containers
Zesty ranch dressing
Drieded up guts.
Sno~bawll Kitteh skoarz
beeg time wiff CatNipz Mowsseez.
Dayz myte lasstz a weekz!
CatNipz Mowsseez maydz
2 hydez unnurr Beeg Coaldz Bawkz.
Datz willz nawtz happunz!
Sno~bawll Kitteh willz
hydez hurz Trezzurrz so no wun
willz ebbur fyndz dem!
Jack.
So tru Jack, speshullee abawt teh hyding tehm sow noe won wills fynds tehm!
at least not until they are mummified :O
Sno-bawll kitten, *sigh* Ai Lubs dis poetries, Mr. Deth
Sno-bawll kitten, *sigh* Ai Lubs dis poetries, Mr. Deth
U iz repeetin urself. U iz repeetin urself.
Ohai ebribodee, ai been hazin problums wif Samson and nawt playin mush. Ai jus posteed a nawt old pikkee an talk about Samson’s bitin iffn anibodee iz intresded.
Ai wwere wunnerin wher ewe hadd bean hiddin! Iz Samson doin butter?
Let me also suggest “shunning.” Puppies crave attention. They will do what gets them attention and stop what does not. Even a snack is attention. Every time his mouth hits skin “yipe” in a sharp high pitched voice, immediately stand up and turn your back on him. Stop any and all contact with him for a period of time. It does not have to be long, just so he knows you are shunning him.
I have seen this work on dogs described as “alpha.” And it can work very fast with a smart motivated dog. It has to be consistant however. It cannot be OK for him to mouth people one time (you are playing) and not another.
Did he spend a lot of time with his litter? It also sounds like he did not learn bite inhibition. This is learned from his brothers and sisters doing ust what I said above — yiping and not playing when a pup bites too hard. This is what you are doing as well.
My only problem with the smacking is that ultimately he can take much more punishment that you can. If it becomes who can smack harder, you will lose. Withdraw the attention he craves and you will teach him to keep his mouth off of skin.
“Shunning” aka NPT, works with trolls, too!
LCB — do you clicker train??
*eyes widen* But . . but . . . this is a FAMILY Web site!
*kubbers mah eerz*
ohai bom_momme, I reeded ur blog, and I agrees with u and teh vet.. you’re establishin urself as alpha dog. U don’t has to beat him to get teh point across.. but a good schmack will go a long way. It will be ok, ifinkso!! Its just a lerning process.
*SCHMACKS Leeza for biting her eer*
Ha-ha! Nyce try!k
We useta has a saying wher I wurks:
Learn or die!
Fankee OP an Leeza, ai waz stressin berri mush caus ai cuddnt git Samson tu nawt bite an den on Mundae night da neiborhud kidlets cam tu meet Samson an himz jumped up on wun an scrached her purtee seberlee, Maed her cry an bleed. An ai waz afraid wii woodnt be ablol to keepz him.
Dis iz what were ina bookz: Mek it sew wen dis puppy bitz it hurt hims! Rubs de hot pepper ona where him lika bitecha, den wen he do him be slurplized!
Which iz gud adbice, ceptin if da goggie liks da hot sause. Wii had da St. Bernard when ai was a kidlet, hims used tu lub tu pull da laundreez offa da clothes line. Sew mum soaks sum awld sheets in da hort sause an hangz dem up tu “dry”. Da goggie pullz dem orfa da line an curlz up an suchs on dem.
The jumping just needs to be controlled until he learns. Does he know the sit command? Everytime someone pets him he has to sit first. If this is consistant he will learn not to jump. If he jumps, just turn your back on him. Do not yell, push or anything else. Cross your arms and turn around. Do not even look at him until he stops jumping. As soon as he stops then pet him. Often the dog will sit and look at you like you are nuts. Pet and praise.
Obviously you will not have the neighbor kids doing this. you may need to just keep him away from the kids until he learns. It worked with my Siberian Husky very quickly. If you live with people who say they like a dog to jump on them, then teach it as a command and the sog can only jump up when given that command.
I would use the “Nothing in Life is Free” methid with him. He has to earn his pets (sitting) and food (sit ans stay while bowl put down) and everything else. It works very well for pushy opinionated dogs and pups. Do not let him just walk over and “demand” a pat, ask him to sit or whatever first. It establishes that you have the control and power over everything he wants and needs. This is what the “top dog” has — control of the resources. And you avoid a physical struggle with an animal with a mouth full of knives.
Elsa_Mama, yoo noes a LAWT abowt dogs!!!!
*has a big admirayshun*
You cannot live with a Siberian Husky without learning non-physical ways to train. They like nothing better than a good all out physical show down – the rougher the better. His favorute “pets” were very hard thumps to his ribs and noogies to his head!
Hee hee! Ai jus notised Bom_Momme’s goggie is wearin an Unklol Sam hat! Dat is/was soe KEWT!
Dat waz Barney, mi ober da bridj puppy. BF maded himz a forf ob July pikkee.
{{{Bom}}}
Dis iz whi diz beez da bestest playce, ai waz cormcerned dat peeps wood fink mii da bad momme for adbocatin da smak, al da peeps who sayz “neber spank da kidlets, eet maeks dem has da self-esteem ishuez”. Ai haz alwaes beleebed dat da punishmint shud fit da age/understandmint ob da kid. Iffn kidlet is one years nawt young, U kint explain da ouchouchouch ob grabin da pan orfa da stob. Ai waz fraid U wood fink ai waz da t-r-o-l-l.
Wi cud neber confuzzle U wif a t-r-o-l-l! Plus der iz a handee identifukashun manual, and U is nawt in it.
Ai tink effektive trainnies r dun maani waiz. Cruel ain neber gud, but iz no cruel tew sho rite wai, an iz cruel to letz petz be bannond and kult caus nowun teached um. Das watt ai tink * OP disavows any knowledge of training attempts and sez these viewpoints belong solely to her Mom, the moron* Ai tink OP wood agreef!
**Red sneek in**
YOINK!
**runzowtwifakwikness**
OY!!! I saw dat! Kome bak heer yu redhedded bandeet!
Inteereyore deesine kitteh haz a ponder…..hmmmm, teh green wun wil luuk luvlee under teh frige, teh oringe (nawt poysin) wun shud goe in teh fancee shoo an the peenk wun? Teh peenk wun ai shal drawp in teh warsher wen no wun iz luukin, maiks teh clofes turn sush pritty cullers!
*snerk*
Mah huzbing offen keeps a floofy maus in his pokkit. Last week wun went throo teh wash. “Uh-oh, Floofy Maus got a bath!” he sez.
Forchunately teh floofy mauses I buys coems in six-packs that is blak, gray, or whyt. No laundries wuz ruined.
*disclaimer* No floofy mauses wuz harmed in teh washing of these clothings. Ackshuly, he kaym owt sparkling-kleen!
I likes a bath eberry now and tehn…
Naow DAT is a naice smiley! Meester Mauses faborite, aifinkso.
Yeah, and nao that maus has a kleen, sawft, fresh smell to heem, too!
Fresch an tastee!
Wow, such a pretty cat! I love that face! I just wanna kiss her!
Dats wer mah kitteh keepz her toyz too!
dis kitteh luk lyk mi firs kitteh-luv, CHARLIE. decades ago, but I still mourns hims.
OMG, deres an orange one! Is poisin! :O
Dat is so true.
Those little toys are made of FUR! I am not joking. It’s dyed fur sourced from the most horrible fur fars, god knows what animals they come from (in some Asian countries cats are used for fur). Avoid such toys and tell the shop owner to discontinue stocking them, please!