Ollie had the worst
Ollie had the worst luck with plane seating….
datz y u haz 2 fly furst class.
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: dunno source via Advanced Lol Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Him wuz skwossht!
an mashhedup an skwisshhed an konfabulaytid!
An neerlee smufferkaytid!
Hidar, Miss Anni! Ewe of dem nimbolz fungerz! Lett meh getz ewe a talll drinki ofz watur- an sumpting to dwink, tew!
Heerz 2 a Tempruns supper
Wiv water in glassis tawl
An cawfee an tee 2 end wiv
An me nawt dere atawl!
Where wuz Kukla & Fran wen Ollie needed dem?
or Sheri fer dat matter?
Dis iz teh sawng dat nebbur enz,
it jist goez awn an awn mai frenz,
sumboddy startid singin it nawt noseing wut it wuz, an dale kontinyew singin it furrebber jist beecuz…. (odotz!) **runz screemin frum teh memree**
Ai wuddn’t lett mai kidletz sing taht sawng aTALL coz itt wud dryve mee batti…..and ai wuz awlmoas der awlreddi!
Obutt! Teh timpuraree peece ov teh conga line arown teh howse! Wuz wurf it, aifinkso.
An Oahi altosinger! Haz we met? **extends culurful wing ov frenship**
Ai doan finkso wee hab! Pleezed tew meetchu! *aksepts culurful wing ov frenship*
Ohai{{{{ altosinger}}} nawt se yu heer in menny wilez. Haow yu duing?
Duing okai; Mr. Altosinger haz bin hazzing a flairupp ob teh pleh colitis, butt wee aer werkin awn gettin hym fixeded up. Bump upp teh prednisone, yew kno teh dryll!
Oh poo! teh WP eated mai commint! Trai agen. Ahem: Nnoooooeeeessss!
…in teh event uv an eemurgencee, use ur poynty endz!
At leest kitteh duzzint need to bovver flite attendintz fur blankees oar pillowz.
nevver chuuse teh middlol seet, kitteh!!
Sumtaims – yoo hav no choyse!!!
*sends ober a book foar kitteh tu reed. Bery useful in deez situashuns.
At leest hee wuz insied teh plain!
Gas attack in 3, 2, 1….
Ai bett wen iz cummin tew dem kinna attakz, de kitteh b holdn himz own! Mai lil OP canz meelt de walzpeeper. *eyes cross*
Hoo givd me teh middlol seat between teh 2 sumotori? DO NOT WANT!
Hurrah for Anni and nightshayde for the tie of the hour! I know that Anni is getting ready for bed and nightshayde is in her late afternoon hours. Hmmmm.
*Racks brayn, trying to thing of noms and drinks suitable for both time zones and climes.
*Decides the hell with it! And brings out:
Dry Sack Sherry nightcap for Anni, with a McVitie’s digestive biscuit
Iced passion flower tea for nightshayde, also with a McVitie’s
For those of us in the eastern time zone, I break out a bottle of frizzante white Italian wine, some crostini with white bean puree and/or grilled chicken livers, and a side of marinated heirloom tomato slices.
Cheers! Clinkee glasses
Thx Q, Dat iz berry sibil uv u! Haow did u noe Ai liek may sherry dry?
Fankies, Q
*halps hurself to appetizers eben tho she izzint on teh eest coast*
*sigh* Iz mid-afternoon (which ai gess iz gud cuz ai haz lawts to be befoar ai kin leeving werk today).
Oh!! Klinkee glasses –
Annipuss – *klink*
Nightshayde – *klinkee*
Q – *klinkee*
Ebreewun – *klimleteeklinketteeklink!*
Ai ar awn teh run, but this luks so gud ai just HAD to stop an joyne teh celery brayshun!
MMmmmmm. . .theze merry N ated tomatoes an reelee deelishus!
Gud moro, {{{{{ dame Janet}}}}] ar yu awn da wai tu aerprot? ai hurd yu ar going tu Seattle cheezmeet awn Fursdai. Has a gud tiem fur me tu. Yu wil mete up wif Yesplis. yay!
Aifinkso ICHC be a good plaice to learn horspitaliti! So many cheezpeeps have so many gud ideas about fuds and drinkees!
In case of suddin loss of cabin pressure, Ollie wuz prepared to eat his way free.
I feel for you kitteh.
sum kittehs are ellebentee million paws wide, (nuffin rong wiff dat) and dey noes dat seets be only 1/2 ellebentee million paws wide, but dey claims dis not big enuff, so dey ignore teh fact dat seet is only 1/2 e.m.p. wide, and buy teh wun seet ennyway, ebbun doe dey has a big fat butt like me.
Den, huge as dey r, dey act all surprised wen dey cannutt fit, and gets offended.
whycome?
i duz not like too skwish teh littlol kittehs, u noe?
{{{{{{{{kafleenthedonkey}}}}}}}}}
Itz teh air lions taht shud hav teh bigger seets! They USED to!! Nao teenee tinee seeets – an no room fur legs eben fur short peepl laik mee!
HarUMPH!!!
funny timing!!!!
yase, yase, yase…. I noe dat teh airline seets r small.
Butt not TOO small….cuz I am three hunderd pownds, and can STILL!!! fit my width into teh seet. Just barely. So seet i genruss, I finkso. If I gains wun moar owntz, I willZ has too buy two, i finkso….
Dis funny subject.
I had anuddur profile wun place wunts. And I fussed abowt teh fatt peepul like me dat cannutt fit and wunts to sue.
Sumwun got mad and chwed me owt. Dunno if dey noo I was fat.
I am sayin we needs to take responsibility for our fat.
i am fat cuz I eat too much.
I like to eat!
dat r mah perogative!!!
If sumwun say, “Hey fatty, u doan need dat meal!”
I say,
%^&* u, u !@#$!!!!! Fatties need too eat, too! And we deeserb respect!!!
Butt!
Not when we hurt uddurs, or skwish or krush dem cuz we r irresponsibull!!!
Dat is not rite.
Oh Kafleen, Ai lubs yu no maddrr wat size yu be!
yah, me tu {{{{{ kafleen nd ol}}}}}]
nd iz nawt secund tiem ai se eevur ub yu ina lawng wilez.
Yeah Kaffleen…war yu been? Ai ar a lurker so yuz nebber knoes when ai be here. As fer yu, my laidee, ai aint seen yu mush eider… ai wishez RL didnt inter fear wid mai LOLs.
Sum daiz ai just lurkz tu. lol. sumtiemz iz nuffing tu ad tu kombursashunz.
o tanks…
I b deh fatty, tew. I likez deh fudz. Awl deh fudz. well, awlmost awl. I not likez deh slimey foodz… like oysterz. oar okra. oar stuffz like dat dhere. Chokklit r best, ifinkso.
I likes it awlllllllllllllllllllllllllllll…..
:wicked:
oops. guess I meant to say
Haz wp changinged deh smilies??? lemmee see.
:cool:
80
Well, Ah’ll B!! dey haz changinged deh smileez….
I wunderz y.
Hhhhmph!!!! dehy duzn’t haz deh rolly eyez ennymoar. Well, pooh!!!
maibe dey finkz roly eyz ar tu rood?
Dey ar manetaning da daikorum?
So when yew eshued de alkyhol it dint make fer weight loss? I drapped menny pounds when I quit drinking, but wiff the eek-onomy being wut it is I fink I’d start agin iffen I cud afford to.
I try mr green and see if he iz still here.
YUK!! He lukz like a sik pea. u kan’t eben seeing himz eyez. Apparently, I not b deh only wun hoo duzn’t liking deh gnu smiliez.
Iz maibee wun ob teh fronsh peaz frum Veggie tayles?
Ai wuz wundering about teh noo smilees. Ai think we shud awl rite to teh Cheezes and tell tehm we don’t laik them. Ai think they luk AWFUL!!!! An ai luved teh rollee aied wun.
But teh WERSTpart – iz that – EBREETHING taht haz gone befoar nao haz these ugleee wuns, too!
Member wehn we had teh reelee uglee things in teh plaice ov teh kwiltz?? Taht were so uglee? Ai dint want to hav mai nayme to be thot ov in connekshun wif thoz things.
Ai think this iz verree sad. . . but ai cannawt. . .
hmmmm – dont eben know wat teh sad wun luks laik.
wail teh bestest part of our cheezmeet is we can talk wif big cheeze an tell em!! make your list now!!!
Dat’z mai sistur tokking. {{{{{cmj}}}} Ai can has liddul grees spawtz awl obur wair ai bin eting bingur tatur chipz.
Bai aksident ai luk in meer wun dai nd se mai grama’z bawdy. du nawt want!
{{{{Kafleeen}}}} I haz tu agree wif yu, iz nawt McD’s fault I iz obber weight. Nawt wunce haz Ronald kame round wif a gun an made mii eeted a Big Mac.
OLOLOLOLOL!!!! sooooo troo!!
Butt butt butt…ai needz da chonklit ther apy fur da stresz!
Mee tu! Yu shud awl akshly buy stawk inna kumpnee dat maykes heef barz, cuz ai iz habbin a lawt of stresz laytlee!
an da Wennies haz dat cawffe Heeth frostee dat is yumms
**aiz git beeg** Oreelee? Ai haz nawt tryd dat yet! **considurs diztuns tu Wennies**
Cawffee wif Heef innit????? ooooo, DO WANT!
Oh yum, Heef barz!!!! Oh, now I hazza kravin.
Oh, ya, deh heef barz
adn deh marz barz
adn deh hershee barz
adn deh jeer ah delee barz
adn deh free mouse cat eerz barz
*sigh*
Sew much chokklit, sew liddlol tymez.
**still trine tu wurk owt teh free mouse cat eerz**
:snerk: keep trying, u’ll git it, d’Artagnan.
O cween, yu are teh cween! Ai fine lee gawt it! **smakz hed** Ai hazza stoopee laytlee, furr shoar!
snikkur!
OH ya… dat reminderz mii, Lady MondeGren, I furgot tu putting on deh list… snikkerz barz…..
Ohai 3kittymomma! Ai mayde a zekyativ deesishun at wurk dat sinz teh awfice byz chokklit ineeway, we shud hab heef barz az well az stoopy helfee dawark chokklit. Bad dasishun, mebbeh.
Ifinkso iz xsellent deesishun!! Heef barz bii wun uf mine FAV’z! How yu bii tudai PH?
Aiz otay, ai iz habbin a pleh latelee. Bizzee wurk, bizzee hoam life, hazza sad wif dotter leevin furr kawlidge suun. Den tunite huzbing cumz hoam wif news dat ourz cut. **shrugs** Isle git frew it. *hazza embare-assed tu bee a downer** Sawree. Hao yu iz?
{{{{{parrothead}}}} Yu nawt bii da downer! Iz wat friends are for! I sorri yu hazzen da pleh tyme. Iz beri hard wen da kidletts grows up, my boi iz 14 an I kan hardly beleeve it. I iz otay, feelin da pleh tudai, butt (!) I bii okay.
We ain 2 big, worl jus 2 small, aifinkso. Dey shud git on dat an update as needid.
**nods** Ohai rew, ai donut finkso we haz met! **extends culurful wing ov frenship**
Sorry, tuk furevva parrothead! *firmly grasps wing wiff floofy paw an shakz* Niec ta meetcha!
Hay, Kafleen! Ai iz SEW gladd tew sea yoo! butt(hee hee) hao duz ai gett tew yoor blog? yoo iz no lawnger bloo!
wen in dowt, deh Cheez Town Cryer haz deh anser….. dere b a list uv blogz on deh sidebar…. Kafleen b dhere wif a bunch uv uzzer cheezeepeepz.
fanks! Ai postid a cuppla commintz dere!
i haz a overwayt too, not a whole lot but enuff taht i haz sum not-so-graet-akshully effeks frum it. but i fink die yuts are ebil and bad for yoo. so i am trying to lurn a way ob eeting taht lets yoo eet any kind ob fuds yoo want, but yoo lern how to knowz wen yoo iz reely hungree an yor body reely needz foodz (az oppozed to eeting cawz ob being bored or wuteber ovver reezons) an how to stop wen yoo iz satisfyed, before yoo haz had too much. iz very liberatifying – no wun iz telling yoo wut to eet, an yoo gets to deside wen an how much based on getting in tuch wif wut yor body needs.
iz bad to telling overwayt peeples tehy shuldnt eet, or tehy shuld be starving most ob teh time. taht iz not helpful.
ohai kafleen!! i iz so glad yoo iz coming arownd heer more theez days!!
Ai finks Ollie haz a warm n der.
Awllee Kitteh amz
smrtr tahn u feenkz. Lawtza
wawrm 2 snuggillz wiff
Awllee Kitteh coodz
cawmplayn, butz beeg Doggehz maykz
an ekkskwizzitt Bedz
Awllee Kitteh juss
clymz awn tawpz ubz wun Doggeh
if himz getz 2 wawrm
Jack.
**klappity klappity** Wunnerful az yewzyall, Jack!
Conga rats Anni and NS! **enjoys awl the noms and drinkees ov teh sillybrayshuns**
Thx PH!
Cheezburger speak, pls. Can’t unnerstand youz…
**tranzlaytz fur fritz7899** ‘Awlee hadda wurst luuk wif playn seetun.’ Beddur? An Ohai!
**one-durz hoa sumwun got pickshur ov hur Riley’s butt** Beeg floofy butt, mai goggie can haz!
Beeg butt, ai kin haz, nawt so floofy, akshly.
I haz a cozy. Too bad itz summah, nah wintah.
Klytus, I’m bored.
What plaything can you offer me today?
**lukks in teh pryvit chest** Sawree, ai got nuffin dat hazzunt bean yewzed.
I donut kno ifn I wanna even play wif ennyfing dat comed owt of ur pryvit chest!
Butt, den agin, I did nawt sekkund reed it az “pyrit” chest.
I finkso I’m goin blind.
Doan feel badd, ai hadda git mai dottter tu reed teh fone nummer awffa mai purskripshun boddlol! (butt(!) ai du hab sum prittee cool toyz in dere) Hao yu iz? Yu muuved owt nao?
I’m okay, I gess. Nawt mooved owt yet. Prolly in August/September.
Wow (no sham dere)! Datz suun! Conga ratz tu yu! Steel in KY? Oar yu moo-been far awai? Tu Burginya mebbeee?
Nope, I’m stayin in KY, at leest foar now.
I haz been havvin teh “itch” to moov awai agin, tho.
Wann play wif a Big Bloo Bote? I bring it tu yur howse fur awyle.
Um……no fanks.
I will play wif Lucy, tho! Hurz my noo buddy.
Her faborite tyme tu play lately iz bout 5a.m.! Runnin up an down da hawl an bringin mylk rings, an walkin obber yu wif da cowld pitty pads.
Yu hazza gnu buddy? Dew tale!
3km’s kitteh, Lucy.
Teh wun wif teh whyte feets.
Oh CC hewlp mii! Chikken man iz playin wif da D*#% bote motor agin!!! An yesss, I still haz PMS!!
*Luks around fur gun*
what fur gun gonna do? he got allergies?
**wunderz if 3km iz ‘lergik to [grilled cheez sammiches]**
**[grilled cheez sammiches]**? Izzen dat a youfemiz fer – um – uh – er – oh my – oral gratifiimacations? Ware am I? Whish way tew the NB?
Haz u red teh artiklol frum teh noospaypurr, Judson? Ifn u send me ur emayo, I will send u teh linkee.
wazzat a Flash Gordon ref?
DING! DING!
U iz rite, Dan!
**gibs Dan kwik schmoo**
Iz teh nawt-sekkund werds sed in dat moovie. I lubs it so mutch. Cween did teh myoozik, an teh weddin martch (an teh vowz) iz awsum!
it was on day before yesterday, oddly enough. I watched it for two lines.
Fetch the bore worms.
NOT THE BORE WORMS!!
I finkso dat’s wen I had it awn.
Den I turned to teh ZZ Top fingie.
I lurbs teh moo seek, expeshully teh par wif teh narrayshun.
“Hot hail!!!1!!”
ai am going on jet playne this month. Iz sad occassion, ai am going to Upstate Noo York to burry my dad’s ashes.
Sorry about yer dad, but over the bridge doesn’t sound so bad. Where are you taking him? ADK Mountains? Finner Lakes?
neer da andorandaks
MAH FURST COMMENT!!!! hou du i uplode mah lolz to deh website?
should have flone wid bunways
Poor Ollie… but she learn a lesson, she will book her ticket earlier!