who needs 3 sqware meals a day?
who needs 3 sqware meals a day? wen u can have 3 rownd ones.
but u gotz 2 deel wif teh forcefieldz.
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: silver22 via Our LOL Builder
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Network Blog
A toi wiv fud insied!
Or a clever puzzle serving trai?
Izza rownd Chineez puzzle box.
Congrats, miss anni! Shul Ai poor us a stif wun?
Aifink Ai need sumfing 2 cheer me up – Ai hazn’t been owt 2dai an dat awlwaiz maeks me crabbee.
*ticklols Annipuss wif hur feelers to maik hur laff*
Mabbeh ai shud tell u a joke?
Yesh! Sumwun Tell A Yoke! Yesh!
K. U arsked for it.
Woman goes for a walk in the morning, comes by a graveyard. Sees a man crouching behind a tombstone, shouts “Morning!”.
.
Men replies: No, I’m having a sh*t.
Sorry. *crawls off wif a blushy faice*
*giggle*, dat wuz funni!
Teu fellerz sittn ona beench outtadorz weh dis reeeely oldz gurl runz bai, “Hay! ewe cee dat?” wun assed. “Yesh”, sez de otter, “Dat needz ironnd!”
Heers a yoke… is cleen…i fink so!
(lolspeak off)
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operting table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked; “Is my Time Up?”
God said, “NO, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days left to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her final operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years left.
“Why didn’t you pull me away from the path of the ambulance?.
GOD replied………”I didn’t recognize you”!
(Lolspeak back awn again)
LOL!!!1!
U opened teh dore for dis, so
(lolspeek off)
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Sad news 4 r frends in TTI , VLC, Arse-strillia, etc, ai think awlso
ROFL!!!!!! Dat is grate! Just as well we awl speshulaize in lolspeak.
Ai tink iz fromm de bein fatt, no de eatin itt. Ai’z goin ona c-fud reegeem.
C-fud. Eatz itt.
Dat haz been mine regimen fur sumtyme now. Az my granni said affer 2 dais awnna diet, “I’d rather bii fat an happi then skinny an miserable kaus I iz awlwais hungri” Oh, how I miss her chick an dumplins!
UMMMM! Dey air notun lik gud Chikun an Dumpleenz! Ummmm! Nom, nom,nom,nom!
Nuffin lik Gran knees chkn an dump lins.
Studdees showe dat statistics causes cancer in rats.
**openz mouf to say sumfin**
**frows hand ovur mouf**
**runz lyk crazee towerd teh NB**
O8
Ai meen
!
*keeps a stiff upper lip*
.
*breaks into a grin*
.
*heads after red towards NB*
*joins teh stampede 2 teh nawty barn*
The moar, teh merrier! Drinksies, ennywun?
Yesh, plz!
Iz been a baaaaddddd day, so mayk mien a dubblol.
*Pours red a double whisky, single malt, 18 years old*
Dat whisky has teh right to vote in Jurmanee! Here’s lukking atchooo!
Gazoon-hite.
Fank u. *sniff*
.
*brings out dainty hankerchief*
.
*noisily blows noes*
Ohai, Upfi!
I bee in gud comp’nee dere!
Hooz handz did U frow ovur hooz mouf?
Happi, happi burfingdai WWR! Iz yu hazzen a gud wun? I hope yu gitted really gud prezments!
Um…..WRr….I has to gibs u ur prezzie inna NB.
YAss Ai iz habbing a gud dai.
Mai Dr. BorkedVet nawt hazzing a gud week.
Hur got kikked bai teh nawt happee bull Awn Mundane. Borked hur nee cap. Teh bull iz naow teh nawt happee steer.
Did hur has cow fryez foar dindin?
Eeew, gross! Ifinkso I kuld nawt eet doze! Or mountain oysters, yuk!
**mufflold** Nawt tellin.
U has teh emayo.
*roflol*
U finkso hur needz my bideo?
Aifinkso hur needz teh handee manz tu maek teh pole sea cure!
Happi burfday, WRR!!! *schmoochies* Menny happi returns of teh day!
*Strolls tu da NB wif ebberwun else*
Needz a well rownded diet
So hao duz u opin dis fing, eneewayz?
Der wuns wuz a mausee hoo tryd
To tayk owt himz bawl fur a ryd
Teh kitteh went SWAT!
But teh mausee sed NOT!
Cuz itz reely kwyt sayf heer insyd
@@@@@@@@@@@@Elebenty!!!
Eggsalad! Dat maed me smylol!
Fankies, guyz! Heerz anudder…
Hay diddul diddul, a maus in teh middul
Ob sumfin kwyt rownd adn transparint.
Hao tu get in? sed teh cat wiff a grin
Ai will has tu set up an ekspeer’mint.
Otay, wun moar adn den ai’ll stawp…
A maus naymd Will went up teh hill
Tu get himz bawl a-rollin.
Teh bawl zoomd daon wiff a krashin sownd!
Nao datz whut ai kawl mausee bowlin!
appaws appaws appaws!
allpaws, allpaws!
Ai likez um squar, roun, siddlewai, anywai!
Rownd is saefer — duzzint haz corners on wich to choke.
It even delibbers itself!
Hope dat puzzle ball nawt comes apart.
Ohai, 3km!
U has teh emayos.
*Runs tu look*
That wuz funni!!
pi r round, heck-yeah.
Ohai, Dan!
I thot of u yesturday. I wuz inna Likker Barn (yesh I see ur surpryzed luuk) an saw minee karrit kayke kuppy-kaykes!
Ai were tew a eaty plase de odder dai an seen a Humugnose karrit kayke inna displaa ting. Ai stop an stair at dis fer long tim.
Id lukd nom-e-licious!
**whispurrs to op_sMama, I finkso wii killifyed him**
Dan! Dan! Speek to me!
Maibee himz conntemplatz de wunerfulness of alla siz of de karrit kaykez!
I finkso himz sumware drownin in himz own drool.
Ethur dat, oar himz at werk an hiz “leesh” went awf.
OOUUGH! Can no breeth! Turnz loose dis leesh! AAArrgh! Airz! Needz airz!
Oh, YUM!! I luv karrot kake, specially da wun wif pyneapple innit!
Wut werr yu likkin?
**bites tong an runz to NB…..agin**
Snerk – dew yew noe how a Fronsch lady holds her liquor?
Ooooh – tell us, tell us, judson – pweeeeeze!!!!?
Iz eers inbolbed?
rhsb!!! I hassa new kitten for a munth dat I be foster mommy to, him so cute and duz da hoppy hoppy sideways!!
Ding Ding Ding! Red wins a nawl spence payed trip to de nawty barn!!!
Woo-hoo!
Bestest fing to happin to me awl day.
PARTY INNA NAWTY BARN!
*wispurrs* I tink her hassa wing at da NB!!
*kant standz tew heer onlee haff a riddle*
*runz off tew teh nb after rhsb an judson*
DM – Fink abowt teh kweshtun u axked me up abuv…
*oops* OH, Now I git it!!
Butt … butt… where is teh joke? Wot do eers habs to do wif it?
*looks puzzloled*
Ai wull send u an emeow 2 eggsplane!
Fank u! Ai don’t laik to die stoopid, u noes. But nao ai must be orff to bed, is past midnite!
.
*waves a sleepy goodbye to teh cheezfwends*
‘Nite, Upfi!
Nite Upfi – Aifink iz tiem Ai went 2 bed 2.
G’nite awl.
Nity nite Anni! Haz happi dreams uf kittehs!
Purrhaps ai is teh ignorent. Cud u sendee mee an emeow 2 eggsplane also?
C’est n’est le nez! C’est n’est les mains! Yesh! Bai dem eewarz! Tame wai tew go shoppyin’!
Wow! I sure am slow to get the joke….sad commentary on mai life, n’est ce pas?
KK!
Wut teh bebbeh luuk lyk? U has teh pikshurs?
So, I can has Ripper now?
I duz haz pics on my profile!! Him littel tuxedo kitten wif da serious face. Ripper nawt happitayl, he be packin his bags an I be unpakkin dem!!
**goes to luuk at pikshurs**
SKWEE! Him iz SEW KYOOT!
U tayle Ripper dat him can come libs wif himz Anty Red wenebber him wantz.
Umm … dans la plume de ma tante? Sur la table?
par les oreilles, n’est-ce pas?
♪♫ ‘Rollin – Rollin – Rollin on de ribber’ ♪♫
I wuz finkin moar lyk teh theem to RawHide.
Rollin Rollin Rollin
Keep dem mousies rollin
Frenz, may I has ur attenshunz, plz?
I need to axk foar gud vibes frum y’all.
My werk iz sponsorin a “Biggest Loser” challinj an I’M JOYNIN IT! Iz 20 munnies to entur, goez aite weeks (I finkso) an u way in ebery Mundane. Ifn u gane wate, u gotta pay 1 munnies foar ebery pownd u gane!
Dere’s gonna be nootrishun an egg-sursyze classes, too.
Plz to be wishin me teh gud luk! It starts awn Mundane, teh 7th of Jooly.
Gud Fur Yu!! I needs tu du sumfing lyke dat. I gotta git bak awn da low carb fing or sumfing!
Fanks, 3km.
Yah, I gotta do sumfin. Nawt haz a happee wif teh way I luuk rite now.
I will hep bii yur support team!! I kan loose weight wif yu, maibii! Enniwai, I will bii da support team!
U nawt be my support teem! U tryed to push me down ur stayres! Dat’s why I almoas fawled.
WHAT?!!!? I nawt loud tu push peepz down da stairs! Hubbikat bii da P’d iffin wii had a homeowners claim.
Ai weel sez te ewe, GO Babee, GO!!!!!!!!!
Yesh!! ai will chear yu onna 2 bitory! Yu go GRRRL!!
{{{Red}}}
Gud luk. Duz U get teh munnies bak if U lose teh mostest wait?
Teh winnur getz 75% of teh pot, 2nd playse getz 15%, teh 3rd playse getz 10%.
Ai hoepz U get teh nawt sekkund!
U can bai lawtz uf karrit kaek fur dan!
I will, butt…..himz gotta come geddit!
*Walks off whistlen*
now that’s just cheating……..tasty, but cheatin’
Howz dat cheetin?
Glad ur alrite, Dan. Wii hadda wurried dat u wuz sumware drownin in ur own drool.
nawt drownin, flounderin in the breakers of the sea of headache. better, but still there. Odd, didn’t notice it while cookin’ but when done a spike reminded me that it is still there.
Oooh, sowwy to heer dat.
**gibs Dan a cool rag, a glass of wadder an sum hedayk-go-’way meds**
Heer, hoap dat halps.
I has beddur eyedea foar teh munnies!
I will buy teh secksee owtfit, fynd teh ex-huzbin, an mayk him eet hiz hart owt!
Fynd a secksee fyremans tu haz hanging awn Ur arm nawt sekkund!!
gud lukk rhsb!
heer iz a fing taht might be helfpul, ifinkso. iz akshully anti-diyut, but even if yoo iz on a dieyut iz a very helpful way to desiding if yoo iz reely hongree an needing to eet or not. am i hongree basically, iz way ob getting in toon wif yor bodeez signals ob hunger an fullness. gud lukk!
Liddill Kitteh habz
brandz noo toy dat habz surpryze
go~eengz Nutz insyde
Mowsee surpryze habz
nyss rowndz Foarzz Feeld 2 keepz owtz
curree~uss Kittehz
Mowsee no can getz
owtz. Kitteh no can getz in.
Tyme 2 cawllz Doggeh!
Jack.
appaws!
Thanks Jack fur erlier poem fur me and Samson!!
Dis bestest kitteh toi EBER!
Aino howz tu get inna bawl. Ai’ve had epe…exper…..ai’ve dun it befoar. Jush batz dat bawl down teh starez. Bumpity bumpity bumpity click crack itz open!! Now fur teh pwize….nom nom nom. Better than crackerjacks ifinkso!!
BTW ai am lubing teh jokes upthread! Ai wudda bin inna NB tu ifinkso!
Ifinkso da NB wuz awlmost full walla go.
eggsept iz hard to getting teh fud owt
it halps if yoo havving a munnie
WRr, Iz u reddy foar ur birfday prezzie?
**runz owt of room foar a minnit, den runz bak, warin Marilyn Monroe dress & wig**
Now, u follow me to teh privit hawt tub war I will gibs u hawt oil massadj.
hubba hubba!
*gets owt ob teh way*
**innosent luuk** Wut?
Iz teh leest I can do, cuz himz been taykin kare of me an my busted up legz.
Alass ai haz teh murguncee at wurks. Ai nawt can plai fur teh whiles. Ai nawt eben noze haow menny whiles ai will needz.
poor hammie! hem does nawt no wat gonna happin!
Down’t yu beleeb it! Sum eers bak, I had a pet hamster adn an eggsersize ball like teh wun in teh lol. A roommate had a kitteh. As an eggsperiment, we wanted to know what wud happen when teh hammy in teh ball met teh kitteh.
.
.
.
Guess….
.
.
.
Teh hamster chased teh kitteh rownd teh room!!! Teh kitteh waz terrified ob it, adn teh hamster was determined to pursue teh kitteh. I neber, eber allowed my hamster tu watch anubber Tom And Jerry cartoonie.
LOL! just goes to show what happens when you give weapons to the oppressed…
Ai luv teh toyz wif teh treetz eensiid
like dis?
heh – ai sor teh Jorz teh otha dai awn mii teevee
Mars lander encounters problems
Sorry, but this is not funny. This is cruelty to animals, the poor hamster.
Lubly carot caek wif pineappol & creme cheez frostin’ inna brakerum!!
dat hamstur iz sun 2 b mah kitteh’z dinnerz
*cough* Spherical *cough*
That’s a Chinese Hamster, too! It would just let the cat eat it!