I wud like to tawk to yu abowt Teh timer on teh lawn sprinklur.
Picture by: Stephen Johnson. Caption by: mikebrow via Advanced Lol Builder
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put it on ICHC time NOW
Taht wai it oenlee sprinkuls wen it is in Huhwyee?!
ohai sweetpea a ambercat!
dis kitteh am sew cute!
*offurs a nice selection of icecreems and ice cold shots of grand maranmarinare, bailies, midora*
o hawaiya, princessmu adn ambercat! time for hawaii tea?
[wonderz where to send invitation to da preddy lady in da hat eatin skonz. wonders how seh pronouncez dat werd: more like : "skohns" or "skanhs". looks askanz]
Teh posh bint in teh beeg hat oenlee tern oop wen she’s nawt invyted!
An she sez “skohnz”, to rym wiv stoens
skonz… skoenz …alla sayme to me…NOM!!!!!!!!!
Cheezstraws bakin agen…Angstywun fergettid to take teh last lot to skule O.o….so we eetid dem.
Egg salad! Its 97 in teh shaed heer in TTI and yu’ve gawt teh uvun goin full blast!
cooked a full on gsce dinner O.O
berry berry hawt
cookin puddin tewmarrow, Creamy Orange Tart.. NOM!!
i aim to improve airline food, one company at a time, hospitals are next
It’s taht hawt heer, teh gratid cheez has turned into grilled cheez and teh budder is runnin like a river
O LOL!!!!! Yoo maed teh skool sum cheezstraws – but yoo eeted them!! ??
Seems to mee ai hav scene a pichoor sumwaht laik that. . .sumwhere. . .butt. . . .where????
LOL
I asked the maid in dulcet tone
To bring to me a buttered scone.
The silly girl had been and gone
And brought to me a buttered scon.
It dipendz ware in TTI u lib – in teh sowf we sai it 2 rime wiv stone. In teh norf dey say it 2 rime wiv John.
nawt eggzakly – Ai is form teh Norf an sai “Skohn”. It seems to vayree form toun to toun
U aern’t frum teh far norf, den!
sew, how you purrnownce eat, annipuss? skahns, skohnz?
Ai yooshullee sai skonz! Ai dunno wye tho. Ai haz libbed sowf uv teh Ribber Temz awl mai lief!
ho boi. now we get on to purrnowncing dat rivah. Around here there izza river spelt just like yrs, but in TTNI dey say Thaymz rhyming wif James.
yankees, srsly…
Doan’t let’s start awn tumartowz!
Or “aloo minny um”, or “new clear”, or….
well, new clear jest be stoopy , imho, not Merry Can standard pro nun see yay shuns.
Does they pronouncify teh “TH”? And if so, is it like in “thief” or “this”?
Yoo mee – toMAYtoes???
An then – there iz awlwaiz sshedule – wehn yoo meen sKedule.
Hmmmm…must be moar.
Ai think aLOOMinum iz standard. An NO wun but “yoo noe hoo” reelee sez noo cleer!
But – be awl that iz it may – to MAI eerz, teh Ingerlish Ack scent, in awl itz menee forms, iz moast charming!
Ai awnlee wish teh Meeshugun ack scent had teh sayme effekt. Sumtaims we lak weppons it wud bee handee to have. Hao can we charm enewun??? We hav to werk MUCH harder at it!
Where iz Watford Junkshun in relayshun tew yore house?
Bowt 25-30 mylez at ruff estimayt. Ai aer bowt 6 myles sowf eest uf Charing Cross.
Ai frum neer Durham – skons foar mii, pls, ai doan liek skoans. Skons wif beeg blops ob clottid creems, an hoam-maed stroarberree jam -mmmmmmmmmm!
*Drools*
*Drools too*
Ambercat tuk me to a place in Avebury an we had that wif tee!! Tho – ai dont think teh jam wuz hoam-maed!
But it wuz reelee delishus – an shurlee nootrishus!!!
ppppppppppppppp[[;
yah, i see dat discussing skones wifout taupings be a very dry subject ; good idea to moove on to sumfing juuusier
Congrats, sweetpea! Ai cud yooze a sprinkler rite naow. Lundun iz hawter dan we aer yoost 2!
ohnoooooes! we can has toooo much rain-n-cowd. maid me wonder if yur wetter had comed from TTI by way of the Wardrobe or sumfing [checks back of War Drobe in t'otter ruum. nope, still solid. shrugs]
We haz got owrz frum Yurp. We aer nawt yoozed 2 temprichurez in teh 80s – AC nawt reelee werf habbin `coz we aer yooshulee cooler.
SHAME aw teh nawty Yurp fur sending yoo teh hawt wether!! Dyoo think iz Spayne or Italee hoo iz teh gilty wun???
Ai blaem teh Fronch!
Teh FRONCH???? Purrrrrrkwa???
Ai haz juss seed teh wever man eggsplaynin an he sed teh hawt wuz cummin frum teh neer contynent. An dats Fronse!
It iz difektib!
Ai is porus, donut ferget!
o TEH POROSITY!!!!
which rhymes with atrocity…
and curiosity, yes there’s trubble here in Kitteh City.
*hands sweetpea a top hat and cane*
Tehre mebbe trubble ahed……butt(!) wyl tehre’s myoosik an munelyt an lubs an roe manse…..
♪ i nebber hear them a tall
wiv a capital “K” whut rymes wiv…
um…
oooh shinee!
We iz nawt in cynk
Gud fing tu. Kittehs sing mush better dan “in sink”.
It shud only sprinklol at nite when certane fur pursons are not snoozin in the sunny plases.
everthing should revolve around da kitteh nawt obur him!!!
or when the doggy is on the lawn
I wantz to kno… has u ever seen teh rainz?
kummin dawn awna sunny dai???
No, but I has seen…
Avalanche in teh desert
Blizzard in teh living room
Cyclone in teh rumpus room
Dry spell on teh bottom of teh sea
E…
Earworms in a bot Lol
Freebird in a stay dyumb
Great balls 0 fire on a peyano
H…
Helloosineishun wile nawt on drugs
Insects eetin mammels
J…
heaven awn earf
idiocy in a think tank
jello wiffout a mold
K…
Kelp an teh land
Lite in teh darkniss
Mousse awn an shelf
N…
nervous meditaion
oposites atrackting
porposises flying
Q…
Quiet screaming
Restive exercise
slow motion running
T…
Typhoons in teh baffroom
Undergrownd caves in teh bakkyard
Violins in teh system
Waterspowts at teh groshree store
X…
Xaminin eyeballs whilst driving
Yawning alone
Zebras with spots
Ta DAAAAAAHHHH!!! JAZZ PAWS
\ / \ / \ /
Ohai JCH4K *Hugs*
Did yoo get mah emeow? I sentid pics again
Got teh eMeeoa
– but no pics 
An hao ar yoo???? *hugs*
Hmmm. Dunno whut happined there.
I sentid a long emeow awn bunday frum mah yahootie akkownt an I re-sentid picshures frum mah ozzer email addy. Chek yor spam box?
Ai think ai need to chek teh spam box dailee!!!
so – ai has a puzzloled!
X-L-ent poultry
YNGs in teh naughty barn
Zoomin’ kitteh teezin’ teh goggies
Congrats tidmum u wuz fashter wid teh typin fingulars!
fanx mezzomom
*Holds owt big floofy paw wiv toehawks*
I dun finkso I had teh plezure ob yor akwayntunce befor?
Plzd to meetcha
“Toehawks” FTW!
[relieved that LCB can not has implodshun from meds]
Neeu sprinklur taimarz fur eberywun!!!
Oh, fankeez!!
*Hookz up hose tu tiymer
*hookz up tymer tu fawcit
*Putz sprinkler on uzzer end uv hose
*setz sprinkler tiymer
*Putz sprinkler in Maus haus
*runzawaywifaswiftness
*conneks fawcet to hooooge tanker truk ob catnip oil foar mice*
lol wut taimur? remowd cntrl ftw ;P
Aifinkso mebbe dere is nawt timeh, dere is GOGGIE at dems fawset! Iz teh CON..CONSP…GOGGIES OWT TO GETS MEH!!!
Kitteh konspirasee feoree?
Yesh aifinkso. Goggie awwayz owt to gets meh!!!
heerz burfday fairy to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to Flamedragon5, brightspot, an OtherMother!! an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today! i haz bringd fudjy burfday caeks, red velvit caeks, frooty party punch, i skreem, popsikkles, noyzemakers, an for a speshul treet on a hot day (if yoo iz not habbing a hot day, just pretend – anyfing iz possible in cheezland) – i haz bringed teh SPRINKLERS for running throo teh water on teh lawn ob teh princess mu meddow!! an extry-stylish swimmysoots for evreewun taht iz speshuly enjineered to making yoo luk liek a MILLYUN BUX!!
an hunnert-dollar twols for evreewun!! also spiffy sunglasses to portek yor eyes an sunskreen taht smells nice liek watermellins an cocomuts an limes an not taht ikky sunskreen smell. an a elebenty-foot-long slippy-slide wif loop-de-loops!!!! 
also brite colured fishy-shaped water-skwirters. haz fun!!! an heerz a big swish ob teh burfday wand for making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
*dons swimsoot*
looks like a million buks!
*runs frew sprinklur*
Yay!!!! Fanks burfday fairy!
*steels PM, thinking she is a millyun bucks*
halp!!! halp!!! i has bin stoled!!
Just memburs if U steels hur U haz tu feed hur teh gud noms. Lawbtsur fermidors adn teh fezzint unnur glass
an teh fansee sham payns, ifinkso.
Yay! Fudgee caeks and i screem and sunniglassus!
Aifinkso awn dis HAWT dayz we ken has frozded muddyslidez too??
mmm, taht sownds gud!
*Putz on swimmy suit and goez slidey sliiidyy slllllliiiiiiiiiiiiddddeeeeeeee *looop dee loooop!!!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Putz awn soot taht makes us luk laik a millyum bux*
Oh MAi!!!
Thank yoo so much, Burfday Fairy! Nao ai haz an inspirayshun!!!
Yay! Popsikkles and sprinklers!
welkome bakk frum teh grand kanyun kvnsgrrl!! hope yoo had a gud time, an late happy burfday to yoo!
Teh Grand Kanyun was teh awesomest. Lots ob star-gazing, and screeming in teh rapids! Ai luked like this kitteh half ob the tiem but Ai wud do it again tomoro if Ai cud!
Hey! kvnsgrrl!! Didn yoo just hav a burfday???
Ai hope so, becuz ai going to say Belayed – but ai hope hyoo had a VERREE happe burfday. And ai guess yoo did – awn yur trip to teh Grand Kanyun!!
Fankees! red velvit cayk and i skreem wood be just teh thing tew-day! {{{awl mai cheezpeeps}}}
Finally! WP haz been nomming awl mai kommints today.
I haz bin invizablol awl day.
happy burfday brightspot!! taht meenie old WP, eetin yor commints on yor burfingday. WP needs to going on a die yut, ifinkso.
“”" “”"”
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(i made yoo a sprinkler, i hope WP duznt eeting teh spayses)
blarg, oh well, wuz posted in rong playse anyway
*psst!* U can fool WP into showing a space by typing a ampersand (&) then “nbsp” and then a semicolon (;). Only all together, wif no spaces inbetween, like this: –> <–
Embeddededed HTML…you gotta lurv it!
kewl! hmmmmmlesseeifdiswerks…
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nope. hmmm
deffinition of insanity? take 2th
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????? ?????
*gets out sprinkler repair tools, gives it a whack*
“”” “”””
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*lays down and sobs quietly*
*brightens*
THere should be some leading spaces. Ifn’ I had teh orginal I could does it I think.
i feel your pain.
*ponders*
altho, she may not be feline any pain considering teh meds…
Picks up LCB’s tools and pride and tries dilegently…
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Drumroll pleez…
Lemme try and fix the leaks…
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?
One last try and the water gets turned off!
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YAAAY!!
Applesauce anyone?
*does a happydanse*
*steps on teh slip-n-slide on accident*
*slips-n-slides into teh NB*
That’s where you were headed anywayz, right?
Whew! An WUNCE again LCB has a lukki that ai hav awlreddi opened teh barn dores!!!
Thx, Janet!
Although mabye u should just go ahead and get me a automatic barn door opener that I can ware on my person at all times. Just in case.
*Hands LCB a new-fangled RFID bracelet with sparkly fings own it*
Just had this installed on the NB north entrance…working on all the others now!
Now you just need to be within thirty feet (controlled or un-controlled) and the door will open! Voila!
Can yoo reprogram taht fur teh EEST entrance???
North.. . .wudn’t werk so well.
All entrances, exits, and windows are done! Along with the restroom doors (wimenz only, sorry LCB)…
Oooh! Shiny!
*tries to listen to favrite radio station*
Um, I think it’s busticated.
Ahem. I IS a wimmens.
I know, silly…I was tryin’ to keep you out!
Although, why anyone would wanna…uhhh…nevermind! Hehe…
ANYwayz…..ooh dtz!
LOL!!! RESTROOMS??????? Itz a BARN!!! ROFL!!!
About 120 yrs old!
LOL! ROFL!!!! At leest. . .itz coming aut ov teh water spowt nao!
It’s a directional sprinkler, no?!?!
Oar it’s windee!
Right you are, Anni!!
*one moar time*
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Close, but no super-soaker.
Oh! But it DUZ luk laik a sprinkler!!
Clappiteee clappitee an a BRAVA!!! Too!
????
it’s funny to watch the thred grow wile LCB tries to fix the sprinkler. At the end of each atempt you cute liddlol face and ur ???? are always there. It’s like: “heer try this…okeh…wut? heer, maybe this will werk…wut?”
LOL!! Ai did trai it! Nuthing happend awn teh furst wun. Teh cymbals were before teh ???.
Teh second taim, ai put it inbetween teh ???? ????? – an it maed a LIttlol space, eneway.
But – maybe – ???? ??????
Ai put it in three taims – an ai think ai got wun spayce fur eech taiim – plus teh 2 nermal spayces we awlwaiz gett.
Yep! nbsp iz kinda a partial space… Good job!!
Yoo akshullee KNOW awl these things? ???? ???
Uhhhh…errr….ummm…yeah, sure!
Actually, in my real job I had before this one, I did HTML all the time! But, use or lose, so I’m losin’!
testing testing wun too free:
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yay!! eggsept teh water gotted disconektifyed frum teh sprinkler, but now luks liek water frum a sprinkler!!
**Red comez hobblolin in**
Ow. Ow. Owowowowowow…
I can has gentlol hugz? Iz been a bad day.
I fawl down, go BOOM at werk.
{rhsb}}}…lopsided for the sided that hutz less! Are ya ok? You gonna get monies or shinyz from the suits or insurance??!?!
Fanks, PT.
Prolly no munnies inbolbed. I tripped ovur sum anshunt skales (lyk at teh dokters awfis) in owr brakeroom.
My left knee an leg haz an owee. Gettin up in teh moarnin NAWT gonna be a plezint egg-speryense.
* handz rhsb teh blendurred marguarita *
Enny wun else. Wii haz seberal flavvorings.
Ai lyke teh kiwi wuns.
Fanks, WRr.
I will has tradishunal-flavurd, frozed wif no salt, plz.
Oh, an can I yoose teh privit hawt tub, wif yoo as my massadjur?
Whai U fink U haz tu eben ask? If ai haz teh buzzee ai will maek sur teh YNG iz reddee tu subeetoot.
Wail, I nawt wanna ASSoom nuffin…
So, u meet me dere, oar u wanna carry me, sinse I got teh owee leg?
Wall if U haz no fyremanz tu carry U ai will.
{{gentul hug for rhsb}}
heer, i gibs *♥*kiss*♥* to making it betterer. an habs sum hot koko (fortyfiyed wif adult bevrij ob yor choyse if yoo wants) an teh floofy cheezmap blankie.
Fanks, lunarmommy.
Ifn WRr nawt be my purrsonal massadjur, I mite has to rezort to my “speshul prezzie” dat teh BF gibbed me.
gently {{{RHSB}}}
Hey, mean world! U play nice wif RHSB or else!
Fanks, kvnsgrrl!
I feel lyk teh whirled has beeted me up awl day today!
Bad, BAD whirled!
xxxxxxxxxx♥♥♥♥♥ *^^*
Kisses frum Hazel. {{{{rhsb}}}
Awww, fanks Tidmum!
Hazelmowse kisses iz sum of teh bestest inna whirled!
*gently* {{{{{Red}}}}}
Hoeps u feels bettur sune!
Gosh! yer whet…
And I thought I had a wet kitty
Jamie Hyneman kitty’s experiment didn’t go so well…