Dis is nevar gowin to work
wantz 2 tri mah magik flyin carpit?
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Dis is nevar
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Kitteh wants 2 flie
Conga Rats, Annie!!! Yu are not sekond agin. Pooor kitteh, he will fawl down, go POP!
Thx fur teh congrats.
Him duz nawt lukk happi!
Fink hims gonna cwash!!!
Him needs wun ob dem bumbershoots.
ore ebben a pair-a-shoots!
(O hay, Davewifftehdoc!)
Concatshoelaces an nys tew see u Anni – wud u lyk a refreshment affer ur qwick draw on teh nawt-sekkun? ai nawt a singur or dansur but ai can wip up a nys drinkee fur yoo.
Ai jus finisht dinnur, so cawfee wud be bowt rite, thx!
ai mayk it teh way ai lyk it an hoepz u lyk it tew.
*poor steemee strong black brew*
*liten it up wif teh fronsh banilla creemurr*
*add icee cyoob so it b reddee to sip now*
*serb wif assortmint ob cookies on purdy playt payntud wif frolickin kittehs*
ai hoepz eberrywun enjoiz!
Thx noobeh dat is juss rite!
‘Lits go fly a kat…”
*Moosickal nowts play here*
aaaw so cute!!!
kitteh is pullin a winneh teh pooh!
juss so lawnwg as he donut get stuk in Rabbit’s dor!
*pull pull pull on teh pooh*
poor rabbit alwayz gets sew bothered. at least he had the face part in himz hoem an nawt his rownd syd, dats wat ai always thot!
Naw, it WUZ teh bottom! Rabbit yewsed teh legs for teh towlrack.
reelee? it b a lawng tym sins ai reedz teh pooh.
Fankq fur teh correctifyin! 
it kinda gives “crack a smile” a somewhat different meaning…………doesn’t it.
silleh olol bare!
Guies, I jes heerd awn teh raydeeo, Billy Mays, teh Oxy-Clean man, iz ded.
I finkso I’m gonna lite candlols an put fleurs owtsyde himz howse. Also, I’m gonna luuk foar teh 24 hower coveridj of himz lyf.
hmmm, I guess the check cleared the bank…..
Iz nawt elesware?
**snikkurs, rememberin a skrood-up punchlyne dat inbolbez czechs**
were ya thinkin’ that he had a running start?
Nope.
I wuz finkin mebbe it wuz bein eetid?
**Fink of a Nikklolbak song awn Dark Horse, Dan**
i know, i seed taht on yahooo!
wow, wut a bad week for teh cellyebritees an sort-ob cellyebriteez. suppozedly him wuz on ayrplane taht had ruff landing an him gotted bonked on hed by fings falling. tehn later him wuz fownd ded at home. (but tehy not knoz yet wut happend.) gotta be careful ob toze bad hed-bonks, i gess.
I nawt gotted hed-bonk, butt teh flatbed cart at storidj tryed to kill me, I finkso!
yep, theys ebil all rite.
Yah, an I almoast ended up face-down awn teh conkreet floor!
Hi LM!!!
gess wut? wii hadda lubbly konsert last nite; teh MTC kame awl teh way 2 liddlol Norman, OK and dey were teh awesum!
All kinds of eras endin’ this week. Mai mortality, does ai want to think abowt it? No, aidontfinkso. So we shrugs, adn wishes peace to teh famblees, adn keep pluggin’ along. How are you, red? (This is mai second try at posting this–so ‘scuse me if it becomes a duplicate inna minnit)
Ohai, Lungdoc!
I nawt loozed enny moar eerings, so dats gud.
I had Fryday awf an gotted hedayk frum teh heet. Also, teh parental yoonits comin back from Illinoyse 2day.
Sorrih yu hadda hedayk. Here’z a nice frozen Free Musket Ears cadni bar frum teh freezer—best fing for those hot-wevver headakes, aifinkso. Oar not, but nummy anniwai! :-0
Oh, fanks!
Gatorade halped, akshulee. I nawt berry fond of teh stuff, butt it did come in handee.
Musket Ears? Guns wif radar?
it didn’t go “number one with a bullit”, was more of a “flash inna pan” sad to say.
tee, hee, hee!
ed mcmahon wuz reely old; farrah fawcett wuz dying, evreewun knowd taht; michael jackson wuz michael jackson, meening anyfing culd happen at any time. but billy mays, now taht’s teh shokker. finked we wuld see him on owr teebees selling oxy-kleen an wuteber else it wuz him wuz selling foreber.
heerz burfday fairy to wish HAPPEE BURFDAY to Elisabeth, Lucifur79, an Oakhillchristy an evreewun else hoo haz a burfday today!! i haz bringed cuppycaeks in all yor favrit flavrs wif fansee frostings, i skreem, sparkly party punch, baloloons ¤ ß § ξ φ ∂ Ө¤ ß § ξ φ ∂ Ө an teh tradishunal sunnyday game ob trol-hed crokay!! teh wuden balls are payntinged to luk liek trol heds, an tehy make funny trol-noyzes wen yoo hit tehm!! also goodie bags filled wif raynbow bublols for blowing, sekrit ajint sunglases, sparkly hair clips, fevver boas, an inflatable ninja swords for yor make-beleeve funs, kandee, an forchun cookies wif write-yor-own forchuns!! an a big swish ob the burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes come troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
Oooooo!
*hitz crokay trol-hed wif mallit*
*crokay trol-hed screemz DO NOT TALK LIKE BABIES YOU IDIOTS*
*smax trol-hed bawl into teh boosh*
ai fink a lyk teh raynbow bublols better
my mannerz, ai forgetz dem! Fankq birfday fairy an many happee flybys fur u! happy birfday to elisabeth, lucifur79, an oakhillchristy! {{{birfday huggeez}}}
danke birfday fairy fur da krokay games!
*takes mallet and hits trolleehed krokay ball*
O…………”don’t do that to the kitties, you are all Bad”………….O
*whacks again*
…O………”this photo is faked”……………………………………………O
dis bee funnee!
*tayks a yelollo bawl frum teh rakk*
*whakk!* … … … … … .. .. .. .. . . . . . o
Is ai furst? Furst! Sekkind! Foarty-sekkind! Tuu Hunnert!
Gud hit, AP!
I nawt play krokay. I haz a bad memree abowt teh mallits…
My brudder wuz gonna wakk me wif wun!
*Taiks mallut and hitsa trollhed krokay bawl*
o……….”Never tie balloons to a kitten”………….o
*bawl roles intu a muddie pach ov graond*
Must b a bran-new krokay bawl!
Is beree funneh!
lemme see one of dose tings.
*tosses it about 50 meters*
*sights in rifle*
*gets up, and moves to where the ant hill……isn’t*
*resights rifle*……BLAMMMO…..PAFFF
.
how do ya like that, it exploded in a puff of illogic, whoda thunk it.
*moo-sic notes*
Hapeh, happeh burfday,
cheezfrens deer,
happey daze will cums
to yoo awl yere,
Ifn eye had won wiskt
denn it wood bee
a happey, happeh burffday
2 yoo frum mii!!!
A GIANT burfday cake:
…………()
…………||
~~~~~~~~~~
(…………………..)
============
Too much frostin, afinkso.
Ai finks u nede moar baloons, kitteh.
*puffpuffpuffpuffpuffpuffpuffpuffpuff inna balloooonz*
*fawls obbur frum hedaek*
um…that’ll only work iffen yer full of hot air……..
Or Heelium. If kittehs poop rainbows, maybee they burp heelium?
dat’s Y dey tawk in taht hi-meow-y boice, but dat duznt ‘splayn Y dey no kan spel?
sew juz wut r u sai-in??? huh???
ahm a-sayin’ it WON’T wurk, due to the lack uv hawt aire, an all dat.
o okay.. ai fwot u wuz maekin uh. .. commint bowt mai… umm…
Up, up an away
In my beyootiflol, my beyootiflol baloooooon…
Kin ai come wif u inna b’loon, plz? Ai wud luv tu float awai…
Let’s go AC.
Hey, weird. WP won’t let me post a comment as long as my name is blue, but if I log off ICHC, erase the contents of the “Website” line (so my name isn’t blue), and then post, it works. Wha?? Silleh system aifink!
Ohai Lungdoc! WP gibs sum cheezpeeps so manee problumz. Ai glad tew see u.
Ohai noobeh! Glad tu see yu tuu! Ai hoap yu has a plezant Sunniday!
Ohai, Lungdoc! Hao u is tudai?
Ohai Lungdoc, u nawt the onlee wun havin a porblem wif commintin wile ur naim iz bloo, Hugh_G_Manatee sed hii wuz an Gryffin an whoo noze haow mennee uvver peeps. Iz teh bery strainge.
Ai has nebber had a prollem wiff bein bloo adn bein abul tu postify, but ai typez in the webby-address bai hand ravver den loggin intu WP oar ICHC. It stayz awn teh payg until ai kleers mai kukkeez, so itz nawt as hard as it sownds, but is eezy tu get typoz innit dat way unless u copee-payst it frum sumwayr sayf.
Thnx for teh suggestions, friends. Will keep tryin… (oo dots…)
flying kitteh
Kitteh iz waitin to go to teh mooviez. “I can has ‘UP’?”
Watch out for goggies in aeroplanes!
dey iz skeeree!! awlmoast as skeerree as fli-in munkees!
Or fli-in howses … just ask teh Wickid Witch of teh East. On secund thot, maybee kitteh should find sum othur Pixar movee tu emulate.
something not to be overlooked, whatever goes up—-will come down………usually with pointy-ends deployed.
Gud poynt!
Oar poynts, akshullee!
Yaaahhhh! Deff from above!!11!!
but kitteh doesn’t need a piloting roll…….
.
mai RPG days, show when I least expect it.
mebbe hooman tyred of 3 lb. kitteh makin’ 30 lbs. of noise.
attempt to “lighten footiesteps”, nnnoooot that practical.
yah, how come tehy sownds liek a herd ob lolephants runnin arownd teh howse in teh middle ob teh night, an ovver times tehy just appeers wifowt a sownd?
Dey noe dat it is moar annoyin 2 maek a lotta noyz in teh nite!
Owr famlee kitteh, Peggy, used ta run down teh hardood floor hallwai ebery moarnin (aftur hur brekkie an mornin consitooshunal) an sownded lyk hur of lolefants!
Nowun eles in teh famlee did dat aftur goin potty, butt hur did!
Ai wuns thort dere wuz a nintroodur goin up teh starez – it ternd owt 2 be teh kitteh frum nekst dore eggsplorin!
Poor human not learned yet abowt kittehs adn the way they can turn gravitee up and down as ness.. neccs.. nessis.. needed. So as to float liek a flutterby up to teh top of teh refrigerator silentlee, adn then sount liek a hurd of heffalumps walking across teh kitchen floor at 0300, adn weigh 100 pownds per paw when tehy stand on your tummih to waik yu up at brekfast tyme. Yesh? Optional mass, kitteh has it.
kitteh has an on-demand mass-multiplier….it’s the best explaination I can come up with.
**whispurrs Dan u has messidj down below**
an awlso wen dey donz wantz ta bee pekd awp!
Yah, den kitteh turnz in2 Kitteh Sizzur-pawz!
Yesh, tehy b elebenty tons tehn!
Lubs yer bloonz
Kitteh ekspedishun aroun werld put on hold
Will settle for hugs
Dan, I don’t know how you do it. Maybe you’re used to it?
I know it gets alot hotter in TX than it does in KY, and I was working in my storage unit this past Friday afternoon. The sweat was pouring off me (and into my eyes – NAWT PLEASANT) and ended up getting a headache from being so hot. After only an hour, I was beat.
I thought about you unloading/reloading multiple trucks and thought “There’s probably no A/C”. Also, the flatbed cart tried to kill me!
My hat’s off to you, my friend! (Figuratively speaking, because if I took my hat off, it would be VERY SCARY right now!)
You da MAN, Dan!
Dis song foar yoo!
fankees, I tried (without noteable success) to find Buster and Sigourney Weaver singing “Baby it’s Cold Outside” on Saturday Night Live. If you can find it, it’s worth a watching.
Soooo….can I hyre yoo to halp me moov in a cupplol munfs?
Wut u charj?
**openz box of cookees**
Ennywun want a shoogur cookee? Dey’s nommy an sawft…
I will has one, hey does U has choklit chip cookees?
No, sowwry.
Cukie monster is meh. CUKIES! *oops wile dropping crums*
Az lawng az ur nawt Elmo, wii iz kewl.
Nawt Elmo….nope nope nope nope nope!
**breevs hyooj sigh of releef**
Elmo iz ebil, I finkso.
U herd hiz laff….ebil….yup yup yup! Aifinkso.
*shudders*
U alrite, Dan?
Need an adult bevridj?
O HAI stagehanddane!!!1! *bouncesrollsoberandoberandober* Ai wud tawk lawnger but ai gots 2 puts mai legs up befoar ai screem movie type an ebberybuddy cums runnin! Schmooooooooo!
*mutters to self……….sort of*
put legs up…she says…..befoar sidhe (grin) screams…sidhe says…..
and on that note…………ah’ll see yuh inna ‘Barn.
Oh, u bein a nawty boi!
.
.
.
.
.
Go to my room.
*points at KCT* t’wern’t me! ahm innocent.
.
.
of that annywaise. *secretive grin*
Yabbutt, u foargettin who u tawlkin to.
I hazza feelin u iz giltee of uthur stuffs wii nawt even kno abowt!
Sooo…spillit alreddy!
there is no “faire” way I can answer that one.
.
.
for-gettit.
FAIRE? Az in teh…..
TAINT FAIRE?!?!?
U ain’t gonna “Break Away” DAT eezily, Mistur!
your words……….nawt mine.
U puttem dere.
**stiks tong owt at Dan**
U beddur bee careflol. I has potenshulee-danjeris powurs!
Dey camed owt last nite: See?
**hopes linkee wurks**
O Hai rhsb! **stuffz mouf wif cukies an starts tawking* Tanks u foar teh cukies! *stuffz moar cukies and luks liek a chipmunk* Ai so happee rhsb! Fuds heer nawt bery gud….wun day wi will gets owt a tin cup and beet it awn the “prison bars” at the nurfing hoem. *stuffz eben moar cukies*
Ohai, KCT! {{{KCT}}}
Enjoi teh cookees, deer wun!
O fank u rhsb mai deer! Ai awlways to tawk to u. Cattails is taking naymes uv ennywun hoo wants mai email, phone number or address for when ai goes hoem. U can lets Cattails noes mai info. {{{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}}}}}} Schmoooooo!
OOhhh! I be happitayle to gibs my info to Cattails!
I LUBS gettin fone cawlz frum frenz. My fone rarelee rings.
{{{rhsb}}} how U iz? Iz U starting skook dis fall?
an is U moving soon?
Ohai, 2_k!
Yesh, bofe fings. PLUS a hyooj yard sael.
I’m gonna has a BEEG bizzee!
Ohai, rhsb and two_kittehs! Hao u bofe is?
Ohai, KK!
I’m hawt an swetty. Finkin abowt runnin frew teh showur.
How u doin?
I iz good KK, how U iz?
Ai hassa kwiet afturnoon. Tukked a nap aftur chirch. Ai havva buk tu reed fur a summur class. Sonata-kitteh lieks tu sit nekst tu mee oar awn mee wen ai am reeding, so reeding nawt so bad tu du tehn.
Sonata iz purty naem foar kitteh! Wut hur luuk lyk?
She is gray and wite wif markings liek a tuxie tabbeh. Issa bery gud natured kitteh.
Ohai, red, did yu taik yur gunz tu chruch tudai? ai hurd it wuz wut dey du in Louisville tudai. spoze tu nawt be loded.
Ai happeetayle 2 tawk to u! *Put paws arown sholder* Ai jush had PT a liddlol so ai needs 2 put the legs and hips down now. Ai will be bak….ai eben eggscerzice bai maiselfs. Big schmoooo!
Gud foar u!
U be doin teh conga dansin in no tyem, I finkso!
{{{KCT}}}
Tayk care of urself!
{{{KCT}}} Ai is teh happi iffen u b dueing bettur.
{{{KCT}}}, hope U has a speedy recovery!!
Gud fer ewe KCT! – keep awn gettin betterer and watch owt fer fokes waht temptify ewe wid two minnie sugars…an iffn aie sea yure self control ai’ll emayo eet two ewe. Big Schmooooo tu ewe! {{KCT}}
Ai haz a sowwry – ai deedn’t meen tu sownd meen – but (!) mai daddykat haz de di-beeteez an ai wuz jus consurned – but (!) den ai membered dat deez deezurts hab no sugars or kalories – whut wuz I thinkin! Hear, hab sum mohr.
Getz bedder soon KCT!
{{{{{{{{{{KCT}}}}}}}}}}
*wndrz eef dis kitteh blongz 2 teh Wilm Tell*
Up, Up anna way in mai bee-you-teeful Ballooooooooooooon…….. Oooo dots!
Ohai, CS!
I fownded teh pikshurs dat tessm had.
Y’all iz a gud-luukin groop!
Shud owr eers be burnin?
Red, wat did yur Sham Wow boi du tu Billy?
He’z NAWT mien!
Ifn him wuz teh last man awn earf, I’d demand a recownt.
Besdez, himz hare iz waaaayyy to short.
don’t ask…………don’t tell.
Eeewwwwwww….
Awn dat noat, I finkso I’m gonna go tayk a kwik showur.
**whispurrs I has a stinkee**
Alrite, I’m bak, an I’M KLEEN!
snerk
Kitteh, wii nawt kan afford a plane tiket, so wii finkso dis will wurk.
3km – I has seen ur kittehs.
U gonna need LOTS moar b’loonz!
Yep, Ifinkso, say maibii, 2dozen purr kitteh.
At leest.
**Red starts walkin arown, stawmpin hur feets awn teh floor, an cursin**
#$%@*&(!!!
Stoopy SIL mite be comin – tomorro!
DO. NAWT. WANT.
Por que?
Jes to flock up my whirled, I finkso!
♫ Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars ♫
I know this is to be funny, but my first thought is while your taking this picture, what if the cat tries to jump off the counter or get’s scared and tangled. It just seem a little unsave to me.
I am sorry but this photo of a kitten tied to a group of balloons is not cute. That poor kitten looks very unhappy. In fact you are giving some idiot ideas of trying this on their poor kitten. Kittens are not toys!Shame on all of you! Not funny at all.