Hyperventilation Kitteh
Hyperventilation Kitteh tries to calm his nerves
Picture by: Sheigh. Caption by: Icanhashumour via Our LOL Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Or der is a nom in dere!
dansy dans dans fur carosue.
I bring u Cheezburgerz tu sillybrating ur Nawt Sekkund
U want fryz wif dat??
MMMMMmmmmm hao bout yunion rings?
REEL yunion ringz? Wif teh beer-batterin an teh HOLE yunion ringz?
**droolz**
wimpur….yesssss!
Yummy!
Tehr aer 1250 different varieties ob yumion. Wich wun do you want, oar a sampler tray ob a duzzen ob eech?
yesh!
cormgats carosue
Nunyun Ringz kumming up!!
*Slicey, slicey
*mixee deh batter
*dip in batter,
*Putz ringz in deh fryer.
*waytz fur deh BEEEEP
*still wayting…
*still wayting….
BEEEEEEEP!!!!
Ringz fur ebbreewun!!!
Thank yee cweeny!!!!!
I can haz?
Halp urself!!! dere b plenny fur ebbreewun.
now I haz to going tu werk. in deh raynez. bah, humbug!!
Plz tu note: humbug iz NOT deh same az hamburger.
Yur suxh a gud kuk! nom!
*sneeks bak in wifakwiet*
YOINK!!
Ungyun rings!!! NOMNOMNOMNOM!
HEY!… I wuz eatin’ that one!!
Hehe…
Mmmmm.
*dips an unyon ring into ranch dressing*
*nomnomNOMNOMNOMNOM*
*burrrrrrrp*
Excuse meh.
free ringz fore teh Elvis: king unner the sky
Seben for teh short peepl far frum home,
nine for mortil menz doomd to dye.
Wun for the dark lord on himz dark throan
in the land uv Morpurr ware the shados lye.
wun ring to rool them awl, wun ring to find; then,
wun ring to rool them awl and in the batter fry them,
in the land uv Morpurr ware the shados lye.
Clappity clappity! *Bows deeply to Kitsunerina, whose abbatar haz taken on a Galadriel sort of look–very fetching aifinkso*
Iz teh McD bag iz no yunion ringz. I nawt fink der is eben a reel cheezburger.
Moar liek trying to eet cheezburgers!
Taking teh cheezburger cure, ur doin it rite.
Breevin teh cheezburger ayr iz bery calming, aifinkso.
All the kewl kittehs am huffin teh cheezeburgers.
Kitten Huffing (warning: slightly fambly-unfrendly, but very very funny)
the frightening thing about this is just how work and detail went into it.
um… i habs a confesshun… ai been “tummy huffing” foar a few yeers nao.
tho itz nawt as dangeerus as dey say it iz. yu jes haf tu watch out foar da pointee enz when da kitteh has decided dere’s been enuf huffen for teh day
tru, I haven’t decended into tummy-huffing………yet. but kitteh huffin’, sadly……….*sob* yesh.
I am giltee too.
*hides Red befoar LCB can see her gilt*
Weirdist. Fing. Ai. Evur. Red!!!
Tho nawt inna “freek-u-awt” kinda wai, but moar uf a “hoomins wif tu mush tym awn deir hans” kinda wai.
Teh cheezburger smell: I’m luvvin it.
Ba-dup bop bah baaaaaah!
Eer wurm! Aargh!
Kitteh haz ben biziting Fayl Blog??
Has u taykin a peek, mai cween? Was u shokkifyd?
Only wen dey attakkifyed uz. I lukkinged at dehre fred. iz nawt mai kinda plais. So I stayz heer.
Soot urself. But just look at all teh shiny things I getted over there today! I telled them to put their shiny stuffs into my dollar sine bag while they was in teh cuddlepuddle and they dids!
Srsly. The pics may not be teh fambly frendly, but teh reggaler commenters is teh silly in a good way. We hug, they squeeze, we lol, they roffle. We both has moochal enemies: trolls.
Dey haz a grayte big open bar on FriedEggs, too!
*nodnod* Purrzaktlee.
Iz nice playse tu bisit, tho ai wud nawt want tu live there.
Kinda liek Lost Wages, ownlee wifowt teh moaral fybur …
Ai agreez, u shud stay heer.
Ai has bin flippin bakk adn forf, adn dey is a fun groop, but ai can feel a corruptifyin inflooins frum teh eggsperiens. Nawt reely a bad fing, but aifink it myt put a tarnish awn ur shinee-happy glow if u wuz tu start partissipaytin. Dat wud deffnitlee be a loss fur awl ob Cheezland.
*bows tu cween, hoaps ai is still wurthee ob lubs*
sumtimes tehr iz sumfing funnee going on ther, or a funny pikshur (sum iz just meen, but sum iz funnee) an i fink abowt saying sumfing, but… tehy kind ob skares me. i haz a big shy, an i feels happy an comfy wif teh cheezfrenz, most ob teh faylbloggers izn’t bad peeps but i’m not shur iz my fing.
The reggalers is rly not too diffrent from us. They is funny and smart and silly and — luckily for me — willing to put their shinys in my dollar sine bag. And there is some peeps there what used to be here a lot.
It’s kinda like Springfield and Shelbyville, only with less rivalry.
Ebreewun be diffrint, an ebreewun haz diffrint fings tehy comfee wif.
Iz failbloggers whu nawt comfee heer, eever. Ebreewun shud stay whair tehy be comfee.
An those uv us whu iz comfee going bak-an-forf, we can be lee-ay-zons an halp haz poztive relayshuns.
Tehm offured tu come halp wif owr troll urleeur, if we wanted backup, sed tehy wanted tu sho solidarity (tehy nawt shur tehy solid, mebbe? *giglol* an tehy haz a jellus we can haz caek in brakeruum wehn we can haz trolls.
Iz gud fur tu haz frendlee relayshuns, but taht nawt meen EBREEWUN need tu go back an forf. Juss teh wuns whu wanting tu.
Sum peeps was nerbus abowt teh faysbuuk ekspanshun… ai bet sum was nerbus abowt teh yahoo groop forming. Teh cheez spirit be so powerful it can stay strong fru ennyfing.
{{{{{lunarmommy}}}}}
{{{{{uvver cheezpeeps whu haz conserned abowt FB}}}}}
*sneeks in late*
ohai pk!
I find it reely inneresting how many similalriteess we has! Such as people losing their pantses, and things bein set on fyer… I went over this afternoon, and tehy was very nise to me. But but but.. they gets SEW many commints on one thred, it’s really hard to keep up! This is mah home, ifinkso, but it’s fun to go play in someone else’s yard for a change.
Tehy haz ober ATE HUNNERT (800) (8 x 100) commints rite nao!
I hadda stop coz ai nawt mai netbook an it be saying, “Blargh, ai iz ded!” ebree tiem ai hit F5.
Ohai guise! Ai just maded a lol ob Eba n Plasticat – go see!
*runs lyk a kitteh whu herd teh canopner*
Combo uv pic an capshun… iz tu much!!!!
SPLORT
*collapsis, grinning lyk a berry happeh idyut*
Oh no! Ai furgot to gib a warning!
*rings hans whiel running in circlols*
Wot to do?!?
OK, lesse naow.
*runruns tu get nawt-sekkund aid kit*
*sweepee sweepee teh brayns intu neet pyle*
*rinse an rehydrate teh braynes wif sparklee lemming wadder*
*scoop scoop scoopitee teh brayns bak into teh cranial cabity*
*snaaaap! awn teh ekstra-strengf CHRG wif drawings uv wales awn it*
*taype taype taype* Oooo, shinee taype!
*rapa P-K in flooffeh cheezmap blankee adn gibs her hawt chokklit an chonklit pinny gig*
Dere, yoo feline bedderer naow?
*blinks fuzzilee at teh whirrld*
Ohmai… ai nawt hadda splort inna long tiem! Ai did nawt fink ai had enuff brayns left tu ennymoar! Fank yu fur teh reskyu, DK, ai feline bedder ebree momint.
but but but.. I wanna juss nibblol on ur ear furst, DK….
*nibblol nibblol nibblol nibblol BITE*
HAY!!! Ai maek a cyoot lol adn yoo BITE mii?
*pownces on Leeza, flops awn sied adn attaks wif sirius bunneh kiks*
(pssst, guis, juss a heds-up… yu can get username awn facebook nao, iz furst come, furst serve, so if yu wants wun in particlar, go gets it nao. Ai juss gotted prysmcat
)
(ohwayt, ai R ded frum teh cyoot. blargh.)
*rassles wif DK, swatting wif both paws*
*starts to look like kitteh patteh-caek*
*starts laffing*
oh PK.. wuts the point of a user name? I don’t geddit.
*jumps away frum Leeza adn starts likking selb wif a fyoorius*
Must. Retain. Dignitee.
Az ai unnerstand it, iz so taht yu can say fings lyk:
Yu wants tu finding me awn facebuuk?
Going tu facebook.com/prysmcat
Insted uv teh CC-awful string uv nombers an fings taht be teh address uvverwise.
Mebbe tehy finds uvver usis layter, coz iz a gnu fing.
Phew — finallee finished wif mah werk (onlee 2 howrs layte). Tiem to going hoam!
Ebbreewun haz a grate nite!
Hay, if ennewun cares, Cindy adn teh Pingwins wun teh Studlee Cup!!!
Holee cwap, iz wun inna moarning heer!!
Nao taht ai haz hadda awl-nachural, kemikul-free, biodegraydabul, organic fayshul eksfoliayshun, curtesee uv Angel… (owchee owchee but her purr sooo hard ai cannawt stop her)… aifinkso is tiem fur beds.
Gudnyte, mai frendz, see yu tumorro! Schmoos!
(btw, DK, yu haz 2 emeows regarding teh cheezmeet…)
Deer AngelPlume, u shud noez dat awl Cheezpeepz b wurthee uv lubz.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{AP}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{mai cween}}}}}}
Hyde an seek, ur doin it rong.
duz diz bag mayke my but luk beeg?
(ohai, red!, how yoo bee?)
*GASP*…*WHEEZE*
OOOooooh…Cheezeburgerz!!!
calmin teh nurvs wif teh cheezburgrs!
Mmmmm……..cheezpaypur…..
kitteh has hiccups?
Breevin teh bag smell almost as gud as likkin teh peetsa bocks!
srsly u guys
srsly
u guys
SRSLY
srsly?
SRSLY U GUYS!
Ummm…duz dis involv kake? Serius kake? Or is dis randum questshun wif metaphysikal purmanatshums?
Pssst — iz caek downfred. ↓
Sirius iz a character in the HArry Potter nobils. Yu wants Teh Sugar Quill blog.
Ai can unnerstand. MikDonnuldz fud can be prittee trawmatik.
Nao warez teh gud stuff?
ai nawt sur wat be da bestest! nom da cheezburgers oar play wif da bag!
oh, waht was i finking!?!?!?!? noms aer da bettur, ofcurs
Nawtz furst rayt Nom Nom
Bag nawtz greezee eenuff 2
beez frum Wyte Kassill
Bawn veevawntz Tukksee
Kitteh reelee habdz himz hart
setz awn sum Slydurrz!
Bawn veevawntz Tukksee
Kitteh woodn’tz myndz joosee
5 Gyez Cheezburgr
Jack.
Tehres kittehs hoo eets Wyte Kassill slyders? Rly?
.
Ai fotted kittehs wus carnivores…
Nawt to say slyders iz bad…Wyte Kassill is teh mostest addit…attic… maeks-yu-want-tehm fud in teh yunivers!
.
Jus nawt meet…
*UUUUUGGGGH*…*shiver*
mebbee deys habben dere slyders “protein style”?
ai prefurs da anemul-style maisef!
In-N-Out Burger ref?
yep! iz mai faborite part of da libing in sowthern cafilornia!
Mai brovver wented to collig tehre – he innerducted us into sum ov teh Mysteries.
.
Ai alwais wanted his bumper sticker taht he cutted sum ov teh letters off so it saided, “Get teh In-N-Out …urge…”
We can has inandout heer in norf calfurnis tu. ai cud kil fur wun abowt nwo. hee hee we uze tu has tabby, Minerva. She wuz a gud wun wating fur us at da brij.
In-N-Out yum, pweeze sen sum rite awae.
Doublol doublol wif ebrifing an fryez anna choklit shack.
Elebentee hundrd pweeze.
an da aminuel friez! an da napolee… neepoli… da three flavur shaeks!!
hehehehehe!
berry berry gud! i gibs yu elebenty cheezburgers (but sinse dey iz da littlol wyte kassel ones, nomz awl yu want an i can maeks moar)
*heetz up da majik cheezburger masheen foar to maeks fresh cheezburgers foar awl da peeps*
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
ennybuddy else reeds teh funnies? *my ages showin agin*
.
todai Dagwood Bumstead getted yelled at fur lowd sillyfone rings. Boss knew wuz him cuz teh ringnois wus, “Cheezburger in Paradise.”
.
Dagwood is sekrit Cheezfrend, ifinksoyesh!
Your idiot-talk is showing again.
srsly it is
Ai keeps telling y’all, Sirius iz Harry Potter purrsun, nawt kitteh.
Dat is absolutlee tru! There wuz a wizard rock band kalled Seriusly Black, wich I fot wuz a grate name fer a rock band. Wunder whut happened to dem….
Dey got attaked by Def Leppard Eaters adn got hurled thru teh whispering curtain?
which end of the dray you represent is showing again
.
srsly it is.
Nao dis is sumfing I don’t understan. Hao cud dis purson be saying negativious fings abowt the tawk an spellin here while doin teh same fing? It makes me confuzzled.
because, sometimes, when my last nerve has been trodden upon, I’m not a nice person.
oh noes! poor, poor pitteeful nerve!
*picks up dan’s poor squished last little nerve*
dere, dere littlol Neuron, i habs a sawft bwankee for yuu, and sum chickee supe, an a littlol icepack for yur brusies.
*schmooses foar teh nerve while i gibs tukkies into a sawft bed*
unfortunately, I gotta rouse the poor pitiful thing and load the show out. and still get prepared for tomorrow, assuming I still have a house to rest in.
tho, looking a mite closer, aifink carosue was asken abowt draylorre usin sum lolspeek to maeks da fun ob lolspeeks
Ai doan fink carosue meend yu, Dan, butt (*!*) prollee teh yu-noes-wut up dere beein a noyin.
probably, but I’ve made comments that have truly torqued some peeps here. unintentionally, but it still happened.
Iffen dey’re in Formula 1 Team Lolcat, torque iz handy fing tu hab.
We’re gonna need a bigger breakroom…
oar purhaps we habs soooo much caek day we be habin breaks inna baekeree?
Resintlee… nawt a bad idea.
An we can awl eet caek whyle running on hamster wheels, coz uvverwise, we all gunna be teh size uv lolefants.
but da calolrees donut cownt, cuz itz not awr faut dat da *wheespers* tee-are-ow-dublol-ewwls maek us put owt awl da caek!
hmmmmm… donuts….
Sheetkake.
wif buttercreme frostin an ice kreem….mmmmmm.
an wifs BEEEEEG flewrs maed ofs da buttrkreem??? ai lubs da iceeng flewrs!!
om nomnomnomnomnom…
*runs intu da breakroom wif assorted cakes* {{cheezfriends}} Wii have pyneapple upsyde down, an chokolite wif white iceings, an vanilla wif chokolite iceings, red velvet wif creemcheez, an apple kake. I awlso brot refreshments, pleez tu hewlp yurselbs, der iz plenty.
**grabz Red Velvet caek an tayks it to teh NB**
{{{{3km}}}} fank yuu!
does da pynaplol upsyde down havs da cheeries ontawp?
Sorri tu bii soo layte! Ub kourse it haz da cherries, an iffin yu nawt lyke fake cherries da otter part iz wifowt. Personally I lyke da candies fake cherries. YUM, sugar rush!
i liek best da nuucleer red cherries! da kinds dat yu getz fur making da mixie drinkies! sugarsyrupee gudness!
YUM, gud awn icecream tu!!
Iz amazing tu mii teht I want tu post an play heer, yet mii RL keeps gitten in da wai. I lub teh peeps heer. YET! Peeps dat donut lyk us keep findin da tyme tu harrass an make an ass uf dem selves hear. Duz enniwun else sii da irony an injustice in this?
oh 3km, donut wurry. dere’s peepz inna wurld dat is teh hateful and teh meen, an dey nebber habz anee funs or frenz. an it gibs dem an angeree when dey seez peepz what habs lotses and lotses ob funz and when dey seez peepz who maeks lotses and lotses ob frenz. it maeks dem wanna break da toiz dey seez odder peepz playen wif.
teh mostest saddest part is dat dey donut seem tu realize dat ifn dey wanted to plai naise, we wud share wifs dem and habs fun wif dem.
tho did pineeapplol caek is tuu gud to share and ai mite habs to eet it AWL BY MAISELF!!!!
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM *urrrrp!*
{{minerva99}} I maykes more pyneapple kate fur yu an mii kaus it iz da bestest, well otter den da DQ icecream kake. I makes ebberywun a giant wun!
ifn i bee purrfectlee honest sometimes…
… sometimes i has an angeree at ober peepz too!
*blushes and hides under da blankees*
Nawt bii embarrassed! I haz da angri alot. Howebber I dew nawt seek owt innocent peeps tu tyke it owt awn. I wurk wif da public, soo there iz lots uf irritations. i kant figure owt da going awn line tu seek owt people tu bii mean tu.
Ai gets angree lots tu. Mostlee ober peeps being meen tu aminlols, but tu eech uvver tu. An lettuce nawt discus mai classmaets.
Iz nawt if yu get angree, iz hao yu deel wif it, wevver yu taeks it owt awn innisint peeps oar nawt.
apparently, I just got moderated out.
.
oh well.
but…
but…
dere you iz. rite dere where we awl can seez yu
wot did chew write? duz we need sope?
well, I should prolly warsh mah hands.
Yu haz been moderated? YU? Welcome tu da moderated club, iz lotsa fun hear!
Ohai, Kittehs — dere iz nao sum yummeh caek in teh braykeruum. Aifink there be choklit wif choklit moose fillin & choklit icing … an there be liddlol yello cuppy-caeks wif wite icing & Gummy Sweettart Bunnehs on tawp.
Oooh – prittee!
Oooooh! Ai camed back in tiem fur triplol chokklit!!!!!
chocklitt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!! To teh brakerum!!!
*lolwispers* Tehres rum in teh brakerum, too, rite? Ai cud use a drop…
*pours 2minions a Mai Tai*
Sure – dere iz a full bar in there. Frosty glasses iz in teh fridj rite unner teh ice bin.
FangQ, NS!!!
*slurrrrp…squelch as teh froot hits mai nose*
Neber lernd to drink tehs fings graisfully…but alwais gratefully!
chocklit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohai-yah NS! yoo is pritte, too. yoo still haz colorful eestar hat.
OOoo, HAlf yoo NE rum kake? ai botes 4 rum kake!
I finkso my lap desk has a leek.
I’m startin to find liddlol whyte styrofome ballz (lyk teh wuns fownded in been bagz).
Heer, haz sum dukkytape!
oh nowes! poar dukkies!!!!!
w/doi, of course!
Akshulee, dat’s prolly teh bestest way to fixing it.
Uv corse it iz! Dukkytayp fikses just abowt ennyfing!
y’all remember how duct-tape, or as I refer to it….Gaff-tape, is like the Force?
.
a light side, a dark side, and holds the universe together.
Ifn it moovez an nawt pozed to, uze dukky tayp.
Ifn it pozed to moov an nawt duz, uze WD-40.
Yu haz attended mine daddikats skool uf fixin stuff!
wii doan need no stinking tools!
An directions are fur wimps!!
yuu can has wizdums!
Ai hab alwayz sed: Ducky taype izza mother’z best frend. *ebbil laff laff laff*
it works for certian types of Uncles. My nephews know when to stop acting the fool, the inimical sound of a foot or more of gaff-tape coming off the roll…..followed by that length of tape being sundered from the roll….is all the warning necessary that Dan has had enough.
an it werks on kittehs, too. dey just habs to heer dat “rrrrbbbbbbtttttt” sound and dey goes runnen!
I yoozed pakkin tayp to keep a fyle drawur clozed yesturday.
I wuz werkin in teh drawur under it an teh drawur wif teh borked latch kept slidin opin.
Pakkin tayp werked lyk a charm!
but one cannot reliably predict how the tape will break from the roll.
It wuz awn a dispensur roll an had a (verry sharp) cuttin debise.
I has teh historee wif teh cuttin debise.
Ummm, haz I towld yu latley how much I lyke an respeck yu red?
Oh, BTW, Danse, danse, danse! I hazza 3 dai weekend, YAY! Duz yu have wun tu red?
Um-hum…..
**luuks at 3km wif a suspishus**
Wat yu bii Um Hmm’n bout?
I’m a liddlol skeptiklol abowt why u lyk an respeks me so mutch awl of a suddin….
I sorta/kinda has a 3-day weekend. Teh nastee hedayk I had last nite spended teh nite an I wayked up wif migrayne. I cawled in2 werk today. I’m still warin my pj’s.
Oh, I thot U wuz off Mundai, fur da holidai.
Wut holiday?
3km birfday nawt stayt holiday……yet.
Hao duz mai cleer dukky tayp wurk den? It nawt has teh lite side oar teh dark side!! it still holds stuffs tugeddur reel gud.
duz you has one frum teh eyekeeya? mine splitted along da seems and started blarfing out awl da beeds. iz eezy to fix, ownly unzip it an puts da duccky taep awn da eeenside! overwise da duccky taep wil stik to yur leggies when you tri to use it.
den you scuup up awl da white bubbles and stuffs dem back in wifakwiknss so da kittees don’t nom them. (trust me, it’s a mess!! not sur which is worse, when dey blarfs dem up or passes dem fru!)
Nope, iz cheep wun.
Teh bag wif teh whyte bawlz is litewate fabrik an wun of teh seemz iz comin loose. No zippur.
s’okay! ducckytaep tu da reskue!!!
Red, Mistress of Static Electricity!!!
shocking……….isn’t it….
Iz dat ur sirpryzed luuk, Dan?
nah, I haz a wurri,
I won’t know till I get home tonight, if I’ll even has a habital dwelling. reports of a storm generating soft-ball size hail just swept through that area……*sigh*, at least my car is with me here at work.
Rut-roh!
Iz Dimplolz gonna get moar dimplolz? Hoap u nawt get enny. I heer hail can be paynful, ifn it hitz yoo.
Duz ur area has floodin? I saw awn teh noos ware Dallas has floodz.
omai! ai must be slows dis time ob da mornins….i been writin fer 3 or 4 mins an dere be nearly sebenty commints! ai has a slow…nawt ebber gonna get a nawt secund at dis rate! needs tew pick yup teh pace!
Cheezland nawt so gud fur mai tiemsense, butt (!) i can has counting on my fingers. Wheres yoo, zelkina, an wy iz it morning?
***hugz awla cheezpeepz*** aifinkso teh brakerum needz moar rum!
all breakrooms need moar rum, aifinkso….an udder alkieholic beverages!
udder alkieholic beverages?
.
I’ve heard of fermented mares milk, however….wouldn’t have the testicular fortitude to drink such a thing without a firearm pointed, at close range, at my head.
Lukkily in awl teh fantasy buks an moobies ai sees, teh owners ov teh mares iz alwais pointin fyerarm at teh hero’s hed!
*pulls awn skerry mask*
Du nawt be gibbon alkihol tu yur parrots, kittehs, goggies, pinnygigs, mauses, tendrilly plants, oar uvver non-hyoomin lyf forms!!! Iz berry bad fur tehm! Tehy myte begin tu lyk it tu much an begin tu use it inappropriutlee!!!!
*pulls awf mask* Nawt be skered, iz just me!
**starts shakin unkontrolablee**
Skeery mask skeered me…….badlee…
**curlz up in fetlol pozishun, rokin bak an forf**
Ohdeer. Ai guess iz tuu gud a mask… oar ai tuu gud at being caertroll!!!
*runs tu get red a margajarita an sum triplol-chokklit caek*
**still shakin**
Can’t sleep…….mask will eet me…..
**patz floofy wite kitteh onna red hed** Iz otay, madjin yurself eetin teh mask!
Iz just a mask… lukk, ai paints it pink an puts glitters awn it… nawt so skerry nao, ryte?
I…I…..I….ssssstttillll seein it…..
**poyntz to hed**
….heeer……in my mind….
…awl of teh madniss iz crowded in my hed….
Ai duz nawt gno what tu du abowt INSIED yur hed.
*pulls owt bottle-brush wif long handul, pondurs if it will fit in Red’s eer*
*pulls owt bottul uv bleech an a funnel, an pondurs whevver poring it in hed will halp*
*pulls owt basebawl bat an considurs teh benifits uv blunt trauma in short-term amneesha*
Yewz teh bat! Fur ferapyewtic porposis onlee, ov course. **Sitz bak wif popcorms an emanems**
HAY! U wud tayle hur to uze teh bat…
I finkso I need anti-freekin-owt ferapee. Sumfin completelee wunnerful. Sumfin dat will leev a smilol awn my fayse foar weekweekweeks to come.
Datz nawt kawled ferapee.
Ur rite, PH.
Dat’s cawled HAWT TUB WIF TEH CHEEZMEN!
Shudda gnown this was going that way…
**trys to luuk innosent**
Wut?
Wat happen iffin yur kitteh wunse had a “problem” an keeped knockin obber yur “drink” so hii kuld hab sum tu? Hii iz hefly an fine but hyme lubbed da “drink” fur coupla years.
Pooks iz a lush?
Animlol abyoose!
**planz trip to go
steelreskyoo teh floofy BC**Ifinknawt!!! Hii iz mine kitteh! Hmm! Pookie iz special!
*breaves sigh ob releif*…..ai had a temprary skarred! ai need a peach snapps an lemonaded to calm me downs aifinkso
cans I joins you?
hehe! mai shadow-bebbeh, she likes da fine brewed beverijes! when yu opin a bottlol of da beerz, she putz a paw on yur nee an gibs yu da sad-fais. if you putz da bottlol awn da floor, she wil lik da insied ob da top to taest da beer
lol. mai little chizel, cause ob hims ai has a lasange shaped paw print awn teh floor….dats wat happens wen kitteh tries stealin ur dinners!
no rum furr parrots? Wut madniss iz dis? Mai spaycebar is messed up!
Datz wut happinns wen yu yoozes it fur a perch.
nurr he iz just findin his noms in durr
I can haz duble cheezburger? No? WHY? Toooo badz NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
NOM NOM NOM! ..hehhehe
Ai kin haz nawt wurrie hugz? Mai parrothed dotter iz atta beech, jist graduated, hurz cawled me ebrey nite, butt nawt tunite. Iz FriedEggday, hurz gud gurl, gonna bee at kawlidge suun, **breeves intu papur bag** everyfing otay, rite? RITE???? **breevs intu papur bag**
ai trine nawt tu bee annoyin mawm, nawt cawl. NAWT cawl. **putz dukky tape rown fingurs**
Sumtimes ai iz gud an nawt kawls, an sumtimes ai kant stanz it ennimore an ai … kawls.
nawt to worree! ifn you cawl, shee will role herz eies and say “aw, mooom!” but she will noe dat you lubs her. ai wuld raver habs dat den the oppozit
MayB sind a texus messuge? “juss sayin ‘hi’. hoap yoo is ok. luv mom” ore sumpfing.
I wuld bii da annoyin momkat an cawl her an sai hi, just wanted tu mayke sure yu ok, gudbye, an lubyu. 30 seconds awn da phone hours uf releef fur yu!
Relaks.
Her iz YUR dotter, ai haz no dowt atawl yu teeched her tu be smart.
Her juss having funs an looz track uv tiem, oar sumfing.
Mai momcat tolded me, she did her best tu teech me an mai bruvver ryte-an-rong, an smart-an-stoopy, an fings lyk that, an when we gotted older, her just taked deep breff an hoped her had dun it ryte. An yu gno sumfing? Her did it ryte. Ai SHUR yu did tu, an yur dotter be juss fine.
{{{{{{{{{{{PH}}}}}}}}}}}}
oh noes! ai am teh sur dat fings are okay. she’s prolaby havin a gud tiem and is just bein a teenajer!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{parrothead}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Fank yu darth mommy, minerva99 and p-k! **breevs intu paypur bag agin** Ai tawked tu hur at six firty. **torn between wanting hur tu hab fun an nawt wanting hur to be awl growed up**
DAMN those placentas that don’t contain instructions!
Ai betcha Aurora teh beluga hadda biiiig nerbus ober her uvver dotter, teh wun whu had her own bebbeh last yeer.
Aifinkso iz universul….
Aifinkso tu! gess wut! Hur jist cawled! Hurz alive an well an an an Ai breeved wifout brown bag!
**sitz bak wif a reeleeveed**
ohmai – iz dis wut itz gunna be liek in few yeers wen Plasticat iz 19??!!!
nawt noe if ai kan handlol eet…..
**slow sad hednod** aiz frayed sew.
ai iz alwais nerbous bowt him – yesterdai, he wuz awn a feeld trip wif teh Honor Soseyeitee, an dey wuz an howr layt gedding bakk, an he kuld nawt kawl or tekst mii cuz dey kuldn’t tayk dere cellfones, an ai wuz goin krazee cuz ai nawt noe weer he wuz, an, an, an,…..
*deep breff*
eberywun sai ai too protektive – ai sai dere be lawts uf sikk peeps owt dere, an yu kan’t be tew kaerful!
{{{{{{{UK}}}}}}
{{{{{{Awl teh uvver moms n dads whu wurry bowt thair kidlets}}}}}
Of coarse ur gonna worry about ur bebbeh. Think about it this way: if teh noosepapers (whut’s left of them) reported every singlol incident every day whare a kid got home safe wifout being attacked or something, there would be no trees left in teh whirled. That’s why u just hear bout teh bad stuffs.
I has been re-readifying teh “Littlol House on teh Prairie” books and even though I doesnot has kids, I cannot halp but be a littlol amazed that on the first day of school, Pa just telled Laura and Mary to follow teh road for 2 1/2 miles and when they sawr a house they was in town. These days, child Servisses would be all over Ma and Pa’s prairie tushies in a hartbeet.
U has been reedin dem???
I did a yeer oar so ago.
Wut ur fabrit buuk? I lyk “The Long Winter”.
I hasn’t finished them all yet so I donot knoe which is my favrite. I is pretty sure I readed them all when I was a lolkittenburglar but I’m finding I barely remember some stuffs but other stuffs stayed wif me over teh years. And stuff I thought was from earlier books was in teh later ones instead.
Oh, and I’ve been crushing on Pa a littlol, specially in teh first 2 books. I readed them teh first time a few years before teh TV series so I never quite accepted Michlol Landon as Pa anyhow. I likes me a burly man who can build a log house with his bear hands and then fiddle around all nite.
**gigglols**
Me too, LCB.
michael landon had no beerd. pa shuld habbing a beerd.
oh rly, for to give you something to “hold onto”?
**wants SO BADLEE to say sumfin SO BAD, butt bites tong insted**
Hmmm…
*luks thotful*
*luks at Cory*
*luks at LCB*
When yu waz a lolkittinburglar,
Did yu ebber steel socks, toys, dishtowls, an ennyfingelse small enuff fur yu tu carree, plus uvver kittehs’ gushifuds?
Waz yu kwiet, waz yu small, waz yu black, frum yur eers tu teh tip uv yur tayl?
Did yu haz a yell lyk a velociraptur in full crai when yu nawt getted what yu wantid immejiatelee?
pk, my youngest nephew does.
.
and he is beginning to understand the Fear of Dan, after last night. he gets away with nothing if I’m there.
Yur nefew steels gushifuds an socks?
it doesn’t stop, no matter how old they get. they’re still yer baby, and you will refer to them as such, in public, at the worst possible time for them.
Sownz lyk teh voyse of egg-speriense, dere!
oh yes…….yes it does.
Witch wun iz giltee? Mahm oar dad?
Prolly Mahm. Dey do dat.
Mom, of course. while I was back home for the weekend, working, at Long John Silvers.
**snerks**
So, how old wuz u? Wuzzit in front of a gurl u lyked? Hur getz extry poynts ifn it wuz.
I was 23 or 24.
I would get out of classes on Friday, drive 6 hours, to sell fish, do laundry, then drive 6 more hours and resume classes on Monday.
**snikkers**
I gotted my mahm gud, last yeer I finkso.
I had goned owt to eet wif teh parental yoonits an dere bestest frenz, to a bbq playse.
Aftur dinner, wii wuz standin owtsyde an I notised sum bbq sawse awn mahm’s cheek.
I grabbed kleenex an deklayred “I has been waitin ovur 40 yeers to do dis!” an den gibbed hur spit baff – inna parkin lot!
Eberywun
there I was, a-cookin fish, and my mom walks by the line, the store wasn’t that busy at that moment. but co-workers were in ear-shot.
Mom: You going to stop by before you go back?
Meself: yep, gotta do some laundry.
Mom: okay, I’ll see you later baby.
Meself: *heart sinks* ummmm…..yeah, bye mom.
at first I thought I was in the clear, they hadn’t heard as no comment was made.
.
however, 20 minutes later.
.
Manager: oh, BABY, we need a vat of fish down (cooking)
Dan: *muttered cursing….sotto voche*, right you bastards.
yesh, mai momcat alwais did dat tew mii – ai iz teh yungest uf 7 kidlets, an ai wuz alwais “teh bebeh”
yahbutt, maybee gits bedder win day is RLLY groand up…my bois in dare 20’s an dey ushually answer win ai cauls. And tawlks 2 mii, to. Ushually.
donut worry PH, her is a good egg.
*snerk*
Ah. So I am visible.
glad you’re visible, I’m not. :’(
Ohyes. Yu bin playing wif teh inbizzibilitee poshuns? Sorree–tehy nawt werked.
Back to the drawing board.
Mebbe trai adding sum Evercleer?
YAY! U kan haz relaxed!! {{PK}}
Aurora the beluga whale gives birth — izza bebbehgirl!!!!
ca.video.yahoo.com/watch/5257525/13869741
awwww, ai sing nao **Pleez tu cubbur yur eers**
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
SPLORT!
Ohnoes!
*runruns tu get nawt-sekkund aid kit*
*sweepee sweepee teh brayns intu neet pyle*
*rinse an rehydrate teh braynes wif sparklee glayshur waters*
*caerfully scoop teh brayns back intu teh braynium*
*jigsaw-puzzlol teh braynium peesis back tugevver*
*sn-nap awn teh ekstra-strengf CHRG wif drawings uv whales awn it*
*dukkeetaype dukkytaype dukkytaype*
*wrap in flooffeh cheezmap blankkit an gib hawt chokklit an chokklit polololar bare fur rebilding teh brayn sells*
Nawt luk at cyoot until yu has recobered, otay?
ofanks pk! Ai feel sew mush beddur!
odeer! big lite-nin agin! gudnite frens, fanks fur support! {{{cheezfrens}}}
IS THAT MARU?!??!
Seanya just findid this, an it maked me lol…
Fox Steals More Than 100 Shoes
BERLIN (Reuters) – A fox has been unmasked as the mystery thief of more than 100 shoes in the small western German town of Foehren, authorities said Friday.
A forest worker stumbled upon shoes strewn near the fox’s den and found a trove of footwear down the hole which had recently been stolen overnight from outside locals’ front doors.
“There was everything from ladies’ shoes to trainers,” said a local police spokesman. “We’ve found between 110 and 120 so far. It seems a vixen stole them for her cubs to play with.”
Although many were missing laces, the shoes were in good condition and their owners were delighted to reclaim them, he said, adding that no reprisals were planned against the culprit.
Iz Imelda’s twin!
Wun time a skwerl tried tew steel wun ob teh shooz ai had left awn teh dek to drai, but himz wuz foiled wen teh shoo wuddent fit fru teh hole in teh fense!
I hoep dey gabe sum toys foar teh fox’ cubs in return foar finding doze shoos. Yooze neber noe what mite hab happened to teh lost shoos iffen teh fox hadn’t fownd dem!
you guys are loosing your touch, that so was screaming a cheeseburger comment and you guys are so overly bored with your jobs that you failed to hear it! if you no longer have the will to make the i can haz game work the way it should QUIT TRYING!
The obvius approch iznt always teh funnyest, kuz itz obvius.
Adn teh lol-mayker iznt teh wun hoo voats it ontu teh frunt payj, eever.
Adn sins wen is dis a job, aneeway?
If u fink u can be funnier, mayk sum lols adn weel see hao dey du.
Till den, QWIT TROLLING!
Job?????????
Wii can haz job????
How mennee munneez duz it pay??????
Duz it haz dentlol?
and mediclol??
adn a 401(k)??
Iz dere obertimez???
How menny holidayz duz wii git??
and wen iz baykayshunz???
Wuh?? *head spins*
Howz the bakery coming along guyz?
Hmmm… eet mus bee trollin seeson. Dey seem tu bee inkreesin.
Skoolz owt. Nuff sed.
in a mcdonalds bag yeah right lolz
Wut beddr wae to cawm ur nervs than to go ware a cheezburger mite be?!
looks like hyperventilation kitteh is looking for a cheezburger to meh.
smellz like cheezburger in heer…wher u hidin it?