
Laws of physics do not apply
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: Catsgirl via Advanced Lol Builder
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Laws of physics do not apply
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: Catsgirl via Advanced Lol Builder
dey is juss gydelynes tu kittehs
Yu canute ignor teh lors ob fizzix, Capting!
Ai kin adn ai wheel!
STN
itull awl end in teers!
pfft! Ai’ll show yu!!!
“piggehs canut flai!” yu ses…
“watch me!” ai ses…
* pulls cubber awf ACME Rokkit Lawn Chare *
* puts awn Guinness Piggeh (c) FCHRG(wdoi) *
* wares Hunnert Dollar Towl as caype *
* pulls leber *
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*SPPLLAAAATTTTT*
o deer… eet sownds liek Ambercat has had a littlol ackseadunt… CLEENUP IN AISLE WON!
Akshullee, ai dont think ai EBBER saw a Guinneess Piggeh hoo libbed kwite so danjerouslee!!
Yoo shud see him awn a ladder!
Or orf teh ladder – teh toow seem to be innerchaynjubble – very kwikly, inna downwerd moeshun!
Wooooo! Fli an bee free piggeh!!
Mork & Mindy ref!
Wiffowt teh *splat* aihoapso.
If piggehs is flyin Ai mustav boifren! An pairys! An be winning teh LOLtery!
beddar get da piggeh catchy fingy — piggeh well fly frew da holes inna da peepz one — he bee two smallz!!
Izza wun-size-catches-awl catchy fing. Aifinkso, ennyway. Hay, mai cween, oar ennywun!!!! iz teh peeple-catchy fing gud fur pinnygigs tu????
Yesh, yesh, kwikly, kwikly!
Yesh yesh yesh!! It’s veree fine! Kite fine enuf fur teh GPs!
I hopes heem leetol hed nawt getz stuck inna mesh wen heem cwashes inta da peepol sized carchy fingie!!
Ai haz it, but cannawt hold it awl bai myself!!! Need halps!! Yu GNO what happens ebreetime he uses taht chair!!!!!
Ai’m here!! Fur a fyoo minnits, eneway!
Can we see him yet??
cweenmj = can yoo be ober there?? An hold tt?
*joyns in, lines peeplol katchy thingy with a liner so GP’s hed and arms and legs won’t go throo teh mesh; helps hold teh peeplol katchy thingy*
Hold on tite! Did I just hear heem zip past?
yep — der he goez… still going reelee fast! ifinkso he iz makin wun mor trip around da world — butt inna 80 sekkonds, nawt 80 daiz!
ElsaMama, heer, yoo hold this end. It turns owt that I has fallen throo a trap door agin (downthred), and aym resting on dandelyon floof and speakin teh majik wurds. Ayll be rite bak.
*zips downthred*
Cud be… him ended up on the moon, wun time!!! This time, mebbe iz horiz… hora… sideways insted uv up.
hee shud bee cumin bak around aboot naw — eenywun see him? Shud wee jest set up the catchyfingie and hopez he duz nawt varee his tragicectory?
OK, aym bak! *puff, pant*
Wherz that rassin frassin piggeh? *serches teh skies for piggehs*
Ai gots tu leev teh pinnygig in yur hands… ai has tu go tu grooming class now. *sigh* See yu layter awn!!! {{{{cheezpeeps an failbloggers}}}}
Hay Piggeh! Is it troo dat U can see Cheezland from teh Moon?
Tune in neggst tyme for another episode of . . . Piggehs in Space!
Oooooh – The Muppet Show ref FTW!
@@@@@ Gremlin!
I think u needz tu run tu deh Ty boo teek tu git wun uv deh piggy catchy thingyz…. dey b habbing dem in sordid dee sinez.
Ao DOOO think teh regular wun wud do just fine! He’z a . . .well . . .BIG fur an Guniness Piggeh.
Luk — upinna ski! Izit a plain? Iz it a Parrothed? Iz it SkyLabz? NOOOOO!!! Iz a flyin pinny gig!!! Getz da catchy fingy — he;s ober der… runwifakwikness!!!!
Well, naw i nawt sew surea Iz it a flyin
Appolz?
Belly Danzer?
Crumblee Cake?
Drummer Boi?
Ebil Maus?
FailBlogger?
G….
PIGGEH!! I cud have warned yoo about buying stuff from ACME. Dat stoopee rode runner ownz teh cumpunie and nuffin it makez ebber werkz. Ai gotz deh skarz tu proove it too.
Star Trek!!! A ref FTW fur teh AMBERCAT!!!
pirates ref…ftw! gud wun gp!
ooo fankies friscokitteh!!! Gud jawb awn spotting teh ref tu!
Ohai GP! Happee burfday fur teh otter day! Sawree ai kud ownlee ketch up wiv yu naow. Manny hippy reruns!
Ohai Africat!!! Fankies!
Deed yu get tu sea teh show? Is awn teh “ai gawt a flat belleh” LOL
Fanks, aill go luk!
very loose wuns… *nod-nods*
He defys teh lor ob gravvitty!
An no, it issunt form bl**dy “Cats”; it’s form the pome “McCavity” by Tseliot, in his clekshun “Possum’s buk ob Practikkul Cats”! STN!!
uhm mRstry. McCavity , aka Napolean 0 grime:,breakin adn entering, yer doin it rong…
pssst ambercat- dis McCatvity be wearing goooood cat burgerler disk eyes- completely hidinged teh gingercatingness.
Luuks liek himz tryin to brayk & exit, aifinkso.
Spidey!
Mind meltered agin, burd…
hooo boi…wottodo,wotodo…straight line just waitin dere like a sittin dukc…
A burd an a maus may fawl in luv, but where wud they live????
well, i seize pot Ent shoals fur “burdbrayne” jokes , but i not going dere, nuh-uh.
Birds be very intelligint, yes indeedy.
*finger durmmings! Akshullee, ai wuz just wayinging fur Maus!
But ENEwun can chime in, ov corse! Duzn’t HAV to be Maus!
Dukcs? Wear? Ohai Maus an Mary! Ai hazzin tu mini bizzies lately. Bean poppin in and owt, an boi iz mai popper tired!
Hmm, ai usuallee pop corn, nawt beans…
Pleeze tu be nyce tu teh corns.
Whai, iz tehy birdseeds? Birdees come owt uv tehm????
Ducks? No!
It’s rabbit season!!
O! Den, bee berry berry kwiet!
NO NOMMIN DA BUNNEHZ!!!!!
ooops – wuz dat two LOUD? sorrwee! *tipee toes awaaaa*
SpiderCat!
Spider Kitteh duz wut Spider Kitteh duz…
♫♫♫
♫ Breakin teh law!
Breakin teh law!! ♫
♫ I fot deh Law
and deh Law wun! ♫
theme song of da summer :
♪I fought the lawn,
the lawn won.
Flat cat!!
RAH REF!
doan’t applie 2 kittehs
troo dat…lots o’ fix-its donut applie 2 kittehz…
lots ob fixits donut apple eyez—but lots ob brake-its doo!
kitteh lasw of grabbity seem impauwsabull
Maed pawssibul throo teh possesshun ov clawz – tej pointee ended wuns. Nawt Sandy. Altho. . . Sandy Clawz duz prettee well in teh chimbleez.
Luk mawmz..i maked it tew tawp of winnow!
Yu kood put yr eye owt wif taht!
Gekko kitteh!
GMTA — yous mindz iz jest fasterer den mine!!!
Ohai, Elsa_Mama, ai jus hapend to b onlien at teh time. Yu no, it luuks liek this kitteh mite haz pinkie toepads — ai wunnderz if dey’re stikkier tahn blakk wunz??
Hees wearin his aunti-grabbity bootz!!!
“puss’nboots :tehNext Genurashunz”
Do yoo think – sumwhere – sumwun – cud hav an auntie naymed Grabbity Boots??
sister to Auntie Oxydents, but differnet generuation once remove’d from Auntie Ceedant.
also a sister to Auntie Accidents. *snerk*
still giglolling over yr E-Z sololshun…
Me too! Aoi suz SOOO startled wehn a red it!!! An then ai fell awn teh flore laffing! Snip snap!! Awl dun!
*falls over from quaking sef up*
*ack seed Ent lee trips the twapdore swithch*
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[heard from grmelin]
oopsieeeeee….:oops:
*plooompf* gremlin falls on sofftee dandelyon floooofyness piled berry deep in basemint.
gremlin is greeted by a flock 0 byutimous Basemint Cats who say
“many sink doon to da unnerwhirld but…”
*they wait for the counter sine…”
Hey! I kant be down here resting on this dandelyon floofyness bekawz I hasta be upthred sayving that *@!!!K@@X??// rassin frassin flyin’ guinness piggeh!
Base Mint Cats, yoo must release me! Teh majik whurds, lessee:
Klaatu barada nikto!
*twap door slowly opins; Gremlin emerjes*
Say, sumbuddy owta tayk away teh twap door controls frum that gal!
*runs bak upthred to halp save GP*
*da basemint kitteh troops emerj wif a kwikness follolwing grmelin…*
*basemint kitteh troops skatter throo-owt teh wurld 2 rek havok*
axshully, i was somwhat ref to a Star Drek moobie i just rewothch’d t’otter dae in which grabbity boots sabeau tage a Vulclon
Otay, derz gotta be a leber or sumfin ober heer tu open dis fing.
Ai wants out! Nao!
ai ‘shutter’ tew fink wat wil happin if kitteh fawls
Aw, itz jus a shayd orf teh normulz, aifinks.
kitteh will has a pane
It wud kurtain-lee be payn-full
Teh kitteh seemz ah bitz shaydie.
Yea, wii haz a flayl bloggr speakin da lolspeek. He haz cummed tu da lite. Fank CC.
Shhhh, nawt menshun it, mebbe him did nawt notise an we will be skaring him back tu ebreeday Inglisch. *giglol*
If teh kittehs speakz Inglisch in teh flayl blog, teh flayl bloggr can spekz lolspeek in here iamshur.
Awwww…. {{{{{aikiwaza}}}}} <- izza hug, moar brakkits meens bigger hug
Yay! I kant halp mahself! I am so happeh I must sing!
Oh, teh cheezies and the fail-bloggers shuld be frenz.
Oh, teh cheezies and the fail-bloggers shuld be frenz.
One of us likes to type like this, teh uther lykes to typ lyk that,
Therz no raison why we kant be frenz!
La la la la la la la la la!
(sung to teh toon The Farmer and the Cow Man from Oklahoma)
an ifinkso der shud bee dansdansdans wif lots o kikskikskiks … and twirls and spinz!! Mae bee sum doe see does!
Do-si-do! *spins Elsa_Mama*
*curtsies*
Ore western lyne-dansing, 2?
(ohya gremlin, LOLs fore teh new sawng!)
yay {{{aikiwaza}}} wii cahn awl git alawng! *squeeze*
hoaps ai uzed teh *squeeze* in teh propurr conteckst, iz lyke a hug, ai hoap?
eckshacully rite.
Ohai, aikiwaza! Welkum to Cheezland! {{{{{aiki}}}}}
*kitthehb0rg lafter herd*
…hehhehheh: resistance was teh fyutile… aikiwaza can haz biological and technological distinctiveness addinged two ourwown. aiki’z culture will adapt to service ours, we can alwayz use noo kitteh slaves until we can haz opposubul fumbs.
Need better screening prosedure.
hims lends on hims feets lyke all kittans do
Tee-hee!
Ohai! Payz no tenshun tew taht kitteh behynd teh kurtin (well, okay teh winnow blinds … ).
Wizzrd 0 Oz ref, ftw.
Spidey Kitteh behind teh arras ~ ded fur a ducat!
payne nose attshunz ta da kitteh onna winnow bindz …
hai :p
ohai sunnybunny!
oh hai so what supz
Ceiling Cat – he’s watching yu.
Feel free tu joyn in teh silliness! An welcome to Cheezland!!!
Aym cheetin! *gigglol* I has ABC gum stuk to mah pinkee toepads!
Teknology – we has it!
Pinkee toepads be pink becuz uv bubbul gum awn tehm?
Nope, they be pink bekawz they is bornd pink.
But they is stikkin bekawz of teh gum. *snikkr*
U haz teh gummy toe padz?? tew parafraze luvbjones…..
♫ sticky icky toe pads
sticky icky toe pads!
Climb, climb, gigglol, climb ♫
Ennyfing Garrfeeld can do, I kin do bettur.
The Cat That Sat On The Mat (Reprise of Episode 1)
.
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, last thursday, a kitteh of remarkable renoun (so remarkable that nobody knew what it was) was sitting on the mat. This was quite an ordinary mat for such an extraordinary kitteh, but the kitteh didn’t mind. Well, maybe he did, as the mat had been scrathed into elebenty pieces by the time he got up.
.
This kitteh, whose name might have been “oooooh!”, “snorrrrrgllle!” or “splort!”, no-one was quite sure, was enjoying his afternoon nap. This took place every day between his noontime nap and his early evening nap. Suddenly, nothing much happened. This startled the kitteh so much that he rolled over.
.
“It’s the Damn Thing!”, he muttered to himself. (The Damn Thing is a mysterious thing that floats through the Universe. Only cats can see it, and they are honour-bound to chase it when they do.)
.
Lifting an eyelid part-way, he noticed the Damn Thing had landed on his nose. This was his chance to be one of the Greats of the Cat Universe! With a scraaaaw, he pounced and nailed himself in the nose with all pointee-ends. The Damn Thing, meanwhile, had floated off.
.
“Damn Thing!” he muttered, his nose very sore at this point. He sighed. Sleeping off the sore nose was going to cut into his nap time. He’d have to make up for it by racing up and down the stairs for no obvious reason fewer times than normal.
.
However, sleep was not to be, for now anyway. A squirlol had managed to open the catflap and was looking in. This was just too much for oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!, or whatever his name was. He slammed the catflap shut with such fury, the squirlol was launched into the air. It eventually landed in a deserted bird’s nest that was filled to the brim with acorns. This was not the most comfortable of landings, but the squirlol was in no mood to complain. He’d lost his last hazelnut swirly fing at Lost Wages and was hungry.
.
“Serves that squirlol right!” thought oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!, as he snuggled down to return to his afternoon nap and pain sleep-off.
The Cat That Sat On The Mat (Episode 2, inspired by this lol)
.
oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! awoke a little while later, still sore, and plotting revenge against squirlols and The Damn Thing. He yawned, stretched, and walked up the wall. Not being fully awake, he hadn’t realized that this was supposed to be impossible. He found some juicy bugs on the ceiling to nom, and a place by the overhead light to curl up in.
.
*SPLOOSH*
.
Grabbity grabbed him, as he closed his eyes, and he fell off the ceiling. Fortunately, he did a four-point landing into the kitchen sink, which was full of water. This absorbed the impact nicely. The water was absorbed too. And if there was one thing oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! did not like, it was getting wet.
.
Mreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooow!
.
oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! lept from the sink, poyntee ends at the ready for anything in his way, and ran. He was getting close to the sound barrier when he hit the foam mattress barrier. This rapidly became the foam-over-floor what-barrier. But it did help him feel somewhat better. The frantic activity (and foam) had removed a fair bit of the water, and it was always a Good Thing to demolish bits of household furniture if they have not been set up as kitteh sleeping spots.
.
But there was still the matter of that Damn Thing. How to trap it? Nothing that oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! could think of could contain The Damn Thing for long enough for him to defeat it.
.
But then he had a thought. “The Damn Thing always floats away from kittehs. Der’s kittehs jus’ like me in awl teh mirrors in dis howse. Iffen I can get deir agreement, we can surrownd it on awl sides adn then it can’t escape!”
.
This would require some careful planning, especially as those other kittehs were always too dumb to answer when he asked them questions. They’d just mime what he was doing. “But iffen I’m stalking The Damn Thing, then by miming me, they’d be stalking it too!” Realizing he was on to a winner, he went back to sleep.
.
(Part 3 as soon as I think of it.)
ROFL!!!
Bravo, bravo!!! Elebenty !!!11!!!!
Grate stories JD!!!
I neber studdeed law….
Ore fizz-Xs?
“Ignorance of the law excuses no man….oar kitteh”
ahm shure John Selden wud haz sed it taht wai, had hee reely bean thinkin.
I canna chang th lawz of physiks. I gotta haf thirfty minutes -Scotty-kitteh
Fizzix? We donut need no stinkin fizzix!
Ohai, NS!
I always lyked dat kwote, an lass weak eye saw teh moo-B wear it ‘ridgenally kame frum: “The Treasure ob teh Sea-air-ahh Madra” wiff Humpfry Bogart, an I lubbed it!
*snerk* It wuzzint frum Blazing Saddlols?
Heh — just googloled it. Ur rite – kinda.
Wuz: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinkin badges!” in Sierra Madre.
Wuz: “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin badges!” in Blazing Saddlols.
Um, I can’t halp but wonder how no one has notissed teh extreem cyootness and floofiness of this kitteh. And the innosent luk in his eyes….
.
.
.
splort
Ai wud halp u, Ms Skwirrl………. if only mah braynes wud stay in mah hed.
*splort*
Whoop whoop whoop heer coms the CCC!
Sweep sweep ur braynes inno a tydee pyle
Rinse rinse wif sparklee lemmum wadder
Tuck tuck pat pat bak inno braynium cabity
Snap snap awn the eggstra strenff CHRG (wdoi)
Taype taype wif rainbo cullered ducky taype
Leeds the wai tew the splort recovery lounge
Snuggle snuggle u inno a cheezfrends mappie blankie
Handz ober stoofed bebeh pengwin tew cuddle
Offerz trai uv hawt chokklit an sordid pastrees.
Naow, u jus rest a minnit an doan luuk at anee cayute pixures fer a wile, kay?
Uh,oh…hazzint dun this in a while..
Here comes teh CCC..
** scrapes up teh braynes,
gently scoops dem back in teh skwirrls hed**
** wrap,wrap..taype, taype **
Here iz sum hot chokklit(iz cowldish heer todai) and a warm blankee.
Do NAWT luk at teh cweens fawn pikturs !!!!!
HAY YOUS GUYS!!! Eenybud seen dat silleh pinny gig? he oozed da rockit lawn chare ta shootz himslef inta orbita around da earff. Nowz weez gotta findz heem and grabz heem inna da catchy fingie afore he getz two dizzy or *gasp* starvs da def!!
Mebbee him will kum bak tu erf tumorrow. he will prolly land in LCBz
swillingswimming pool.ooh fanks bf and eeck!!!
I luv teh penguin! Is that oyster stoofing? JK!!!
ns, check ur messages plzthx!
An an an an — hem leetol hed iz bean squishededed bai da shade. ifinkso he dinnit lik upz when he started ta climb an naw he haz a confoozoled!!
Interior decorator kitteh, doesn’t like your window coverings
sewz he gonna jest push dem off onna da flor – den dey be borked and hafta goez inna junky plase. den .. he weel haf a happity and mak you bai noo wun dat costes elebenty hundred munnies — he getz a 10% commissamom awn dat purr chase …
Now that wuld be “window treet mints,” I think.
Troo storeh: When I bot my haus bak in 2004, I had hissy fits over trying to get the blinds and window treatments on them. Have you opened a container of fancy window blinds lately? What a mess! Strings everywharz!
I said to my then-boyfriend, What I need here is a liddel old laydee! She wuld noes whut to doing with these window treatments! So I talkt to my mother. And she threw her pawz in teh ayr and said – Well, when your dad and I built this house, Grammy and Pappy took care of putting all the window treet mints up! So she had nawt a clue! So I had to figger it owt mahself!
*hmpph!* A liddel old laydee hoo duzzint noes whut to do with window treet mints!
AAGH! Doan be tawkin tu MIH abowt liddel old laydeez adn window treet mints! A’iv lookt aftr at leest three liddel old laydeez (teh “other” LOL’s) hoo had to get teihr borkt hips fixt becaws tehy climbed up onna back of teh cowch to put up teh curtings, or take tehm down for cleaningz, or sumpin. Wehn yoo ladies grow up to be eighty or so, plz plz don’t bi climbing up onna cowch-bakk, kthnxbai!
OMCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mai boss just cameded tu mai door and sed “grab ur camra and kum wif mii.”
So I did.
Wii wented up deh hill and dere wuz a babeh — just bornded — liddloll fawn.
PUT UR CHRG ON!!!!
u kin seeing it heer: fawn
… and moar *splort* !!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!elebenty!!!!!!!!
OMCC — so preshus!!!!
wat a sweetie! but but wares teh mommy? *has a wurried*
Iz otay — wen justed borned da babbbeh dearz haf no scent!! Da preda torz kin nawt smellx dem yet. An dey lay berry berry stillz so no kin seez dem neetherz. He bee ok till mama comes bak ifinkso!
** concerned **
* Whispurrs *
Iz teh momma dere ???
Not tu wurreez…. deh momma b off nomming deh leevez and grasses so she kin making deh milkz. momma deerz leev deh babehz awlla tiym like dis. Deh babehz noez tu not moveing at awl. diz liddlol wun didn’t so much as twitch an ear.
Oh my, cweenmj. That is gorjus. Hao lukky yoo ar to hav seen it! He looks kinda long and mebbe even a liddel bit slimey, lyke a butterfly hoo just kaym owt of a chrysalus.
I givs heem a hug, OK? {{bran noo fawn just bornd nao today}}
Ai resented da emayo, hop da atachmintz cum fru.
Aw geez, dere iz no dukky taype strawng enuff….SPLORT!
Parrothead! Speek to meh! Wayve a talon! Or sumthing! I coems rite bak and sayvs yoo! I promiss.
OK, aym bak! A bird splort. Wow, hao challenging!
*kayrfully puts a blankee arownd teh sharp beeky area so as not to git bit*
*kayrfully avoyds sharp talons*
*brings bukkit, kleens up burd brayns*
*brayns bak inna bukkit, sploosh!*
*bran noo chrg, dukky tayp* OK, OK, she’s doing awlrite, peepul, give her sum ayr!
*floofy blankee awl wrapped arownd* Wuld yoo lyke a kold drink? Or sum burd seed or sumthing? A martoonie?
OK, ayll step bak and stawp fawning over yoo nao *gigglol*, so yoo kin breathe.
**signs wif feets** Ai cud breathe beddur iffin yu tayke teh blankee awf my beek. **starts turning bloo, wayte, wut?**
Sawree! *removes blankee*
*deep breff*
*cheezfrends cuvver tehyre eerz in antisi….pashun*
♫ Happee birfdai tew u
Happee birfdai teww u!
Happee birfdai deer (teehee) Bambi!
Happee birfdai tew uuuuuuu! ♫ ♥ ♥ ♥
Now watch me levitate that bowl of ice cream over to me!
May the force be with you all!
And also with you!
Ice cream? Did somebody say ice cream? *nom!*
HAY Gremlin — I foughted mee wuz triin ta get dat silleh pinny gig outta orbitz?? He iz circolin da earf aboot tree tymes per mineoot. Howz wee gunna katch him??
Yesh, I thot I saw him pass by 3 or 4 whiles ago. He’ll coem down when he feels like it! Silleh piggeh!
iz berry pig-hedded?
gotz 2 doo ebberyfing hems on way!
Kitteh iz lettin’ himz jalousie show.
Doan bii jalous kitteh, non-drafty windoze awr availablol.
*snurt*
duzz yoo noes how 2 mayke a vinn-knee-sun blynde?
cuvver dere eyez?
yay! teh nom nom gaim link fingy iz bak! an ai stil stink at itz! yay!
Stickercat moons your neighbor.
y yesh..I KANS defy gravete
whur iz your ceiling cat nowz?
wowz talented kitteh!