The children were feeling guilty about having shaken the box all morning to see if they could guess what was inside.
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: ganwil via Our LOL Builder
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Pore kitteh lukks dizzee
Pore kitteh lukks like him ’bout to go *URP!*
Awwwww. Poor bebbeh!
Uh oh!
*Quickly puts on his Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses*
That wuz close!
WARNING! SPLORTCON LEVEL ELEBENTY! CHRGS ARE REQUIRED IN THIS AREA!
good thinken, Maus as u can see i 4got my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses.
Tha’s gud. If ya hasta, put yer towel over yer head too…
wut KIND of towl??
Wutebber kind is closist, iffen in danjur ov splort.
Yer TOWEL! Dontcha carry a towel with you everywhere? How do you expect to hide from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
oh okays, just hopin it wasn’t a yoosed 10p towl!
altho that wud definitly stop a splort, ifinkso……
*DON’T PANIC* [in big red letterz]
Count to 10 … den pee in a flannick!
Whut is dis flannik yuse peein in, Upfi? Sownz liek a chamberpawt maed owt of soft abzorbent cloth…
Dunno. Mai littlol caterpillar mind assosh … ash … finks of flannels … but is just sum jumbloled up letters, reely.
Flee in a panic = pee in a flanic = pee inna flannik
[passes over contamer 0 babel fishes]
Is a eggspression we picked up at teh Greasy Spoonerism Cafe.
Yep! Wot dey sed! Eggsactlee!
akshully, ai wuz jus beein silleh, ai lubs spoonrizms, tuu. liek,
blushing crow
bingle jells
an so on
That Maus… frood knows where his towel iz…
And you’re a hoopy frood, right, Fnark?
Luk-out fore da furballz be pukked up.
dats wun ob the kootest kittehs i evar did c.
ur rite! sew kute! uh-oh…*SPLORT* not again…
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up darthj’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
o fank u, annipuss nd congrats on ur naut sekkond!
Thx fur teh congrats!
Ai finkssotu, me. *SPLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT*
*puddlol*
dizzy kittah sez “i…haz…a…sic…*PLEH!!!*”
shaken = not purred
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!1!
LOL, missy! Great commint!
ohai and vielen dankers, upfi!
*crawls up to missy and tickles her wif hur feelers*
i gib you all my brugers. win!
please dont shake the kitty. also please use the lolspeak for pictures only, even with the dictionary its hard to read the comments. not trolling or anything, its just a strain to figure out some of the words.
Please don’t stop us using lolspeak – it is part of the charm of this site. If you stay around, you will soon get the hang of it. I found that if I said the words out loud the meaning was obvious – it is mostly just phonetic spelling.
lols anni! as if he/she cud?
lolspeek: resistance is fyootile!
altho I do agrees that some peeps do over do it a bit.
ais reezem bolz dat ree marc
ai not unnerstan yor big werds!
Ai wull juss yooze wun bit werds den!
Gud plan, Ann!
I remember I found lolspeak hard to read in the first two weeks or so but now I wouldn’t want to miss it 4 nuffink in teh whirled.
Da lolspek werks sew gud, dat when ai tippeetype ai fin misef usin eet in reel lyfe.
dis problum can has gottid berry normul 2 meh *nods*
ai find ai kan type it eeasilee, but ai CANNAWT hand rite it!!
LOL! At nawt sekkund ai fownd et hard tu rite adn reed in lolspeek tu, but *snerk* nao ai find et hard tu spell nawrmil!!! Ai keep hassing tu fink aboot teh spelling ware heer ai kin jus maek shure et sowns rite!
Ai finds myself usin it in reel lyfe too adn ai mawt so gud at it akshually!!
Espeshually nawt gud wehn ai in teh meetings adn sez ‘ai is can do dat yes’
Ai know!! Ai just roted to sumwun an sed “pore sole” an it STILL luks rite to mee nao!!
Wot is rawng wif taht?!?!?!
Please don’t expect us to change something we enjoy because it doesn’t suit you and/or you don’t appreciate the fun and cleverness involved. *shrug*
However, I do agree, plz tu nawt shake teh kitteh.
ann nowncmint
CAEK INNA BRAKRUM!
Ooooo … lublee, lublee caeks!! Mae ai can has sum pls?
*nomnomnomnomnom*
Mmmmm – tankyew! Dat wuz gud!
sez hoo. Hoo pewt u in charje? Hahw?!
sew….much…..shayking……
Tihs poor kitteh! Ai wants tu hold it untill itz undizzi.
EEP! Tu teh brake ruum! Wii has Martoonies! Shayken, nawt sturred!
Brake ruum??? Whut is ai finking???
Ai has awl mai lebretee guests in teh brake ruum awl reddy fur teh talk show awn teh neckst LOL!
Umm… plz tu plai nyce wib teh lebretees, ebberywon!
Ai iz tryin tu figure out sumfings; cud anypeepz outsyde ob Merica or VLC please to make comminnt, needs beegest large City an countee, where U libes an da tyme you comminnt. Hopes tu mak da easee peeze ” What tyme is eet in cheeztown” fore da fisiclee tyme chalenged lik mii.
Kthxaihazareserchby.
Upfi libs in Munich/Germany and is 4:20pm here. (GMT +1 hour)
Ohai! Ober heer inna TTI eet is 15:21 rite nao (Greenwich Mean Time) witch is umm 04:21 Cheezthyme!
Iz awl ofb TTI da same tyme or is parts ob Greet Britin diffrunt tymes?
LOL! Is so teeny tiny ober heer, wii ownlee has won thyme zone!
We is awl teh same time
an it am ALWAYS Cheeztime
*Tidmum realizes she is JCH4K agen*
JCH4K (teh reel wun)
LOL!!! An ai hav bin Tidmum sebral taims!! Teh wunderz ov teh Innertubes!! MAJIK!!
Butt… haow can wii bees SHUR yoo are teh REEL Janet?
Hmmm, wot’s ur fabrit kuller?
Ireland’s -1 from UTC in parts. England/Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland all have the same time zone though. (+1 for summertime at the moment.)
(sorry for not lolspeak, has migraine.)
Ai libs in Souf Afreeka, adn teh tym heer iz aboot 16:34 nao.
Yep, u’z tyme ai noez. U deed nawt follow da durecshuns, did nawt gib mi da citee. Alsew, iz all souf afreeka da saem tyme, or does u’z hab da diffrent tymes????????
Oh an hy an gud aftrnun tu U der Fluffy {{{{{fluffy}}}}}.
{{{{BOM}}}} Sawree!
Iz saem tym awl obir SA, but mah sitee iz Caip Tahwn (Cape Town). 
Ai waz hazzin da fun. Hop da rest of Ur dae iz gud.
U be in my time zone, then! Cos is 4:46pm = 16:46 nao where ai libs. Schmoo!
Cool!
Wii hazza tym-shair!!!
*wraps feelers around FluffyB and hugs hur*
{{{FluffyB}}}
{{{{upfi}}}}
Naaaaa, GP, no need fur teh brake ruum yet. Dat wasn’t really trolling, it was just a kweshun asked in a nice manner and we as cheezpeeps habs to deekline, dat’s awl. Donut feer 4 ur celibretees, we won’t hurt dem. Ai mite nibblol on dem feets, but utherwise dey be saif frum me.
Yesh yesh… sry… wii piggehs is teh berry moshunul, yu nose!
Umm… plz tu NAWT be nibbloling teh lebretees! Fankies!
* narrows eyes * pfft! Ai is nawt a drama piggeh!
Nao, ware is mai diamonteh encrusted shoos…?
*applies anti-wrinklol creem around GP’s eyes*
Dere u go. Donut wont u to ruin ur gud luks for tonite’s big event.
ooo fankies Upfi!
Yu kin has a seet in teh frunt row!
Awwww, hao nice of u! pity ai can’t mayk it to teh gratest event of teh week week week, but ai can has burfday partee for gud fwend in Greek restaurant – will habs gud noms and drinksies!
* has a jellus * umm… mebbeh yu kin bring me a piggeh bag?
kthxlawtsobfetachzplzismaifayborit
will do!!! Iffn is ur burfday or nawt, u can has guiness piggeh bag! Ai was so sad u no can has go to Lundun cheezmeet last week week week. Wud have enjoyed so mush meeting u.
{{{Upfi}}} mii tu! but but but ai has tu go tu stoopy pleh werk adn ai has tu remayn teh innernashunal piggeh ob mysery!
No, no, no, dis won’t do. Hao can u be an innernashunal piggeh of mystery (mysery is ok, since u be phlonquais to LCB) iffn u can has profyle on faithbuk? Ha!
ssshhh! is mai eben MOAR seekrit identitee!!!
HAPPY BIRDIEDAY, Guinness Piggeh!
And manny returns of teh day. May ur barrel of beer nebber be emptee and may ur sense of humour awlways run dry…. nao, wait a minit, did ai say dat rite? Ai LUBS ur humour, ennyway.
{{{Upfi}}} fankyoo! Has a grate thyme at dinnur!
*wispurrrrrrs to Upfi* ohai Upfi! {{{{{Upfi}}}}
If yoo go to teh kyootest littlol GP ebber’s profyle, yoo will see tath today IZ his burfday~ so bring him a nice big bag full ov teh goodies.
But dont tell enewun else! Ai think itz spozed to bee a sekret.
Oh, fank u Janet! Ai beleeved skwrrrlgrrl when she announced it nawt-sekkund. Ai noes bettur dan to beleeve teh guinness piggehs – although he’s awlways gud for a laff. But ai will bring him awl dat his littlol piggeh hart desires frum teh Greek restorant.
Yabbut it was his
bedeviledbeloved phlonqueur whut said it first, rite at midnite, Piggeh time. STN** sets up celebretee trap **
Oh,wait….oops !!
Hmmmm…Johnny Depp..
** sets up super-escape-proof trap **
Whut eeck donut no is taht wii has replayced Johnny Depp wib a moldy cheez snadwich, lettuce sea whut happens…
Why u tricky littuh piggeh…
Ai oughta….
** shaykes fist **
Aktually,are u gonna have Gerard Butler on anytyme soon ??
Ai likes me a man wif a liddul more meat awn his bones…
* czechs list * Umm… shore… yesh…
* wispers tu Rabid Weeslol nummer seben * Umm… go find owt hu Garry Bolter is… wib a kwikness!
UH….Johnny Depp?!? U haz Johnny Depp?!? Haow ai getz a frunt row seet? Ai lubs Johnny Depp.
***finking awf wais to kidnapify hym & keepz him 4ebber***
AHEM! plz tu NAWT ke kidnapping teh lebretees!
Ai wheel has nun left fur teh show!
Plz tu sea Rabid Weeslol nummer foar, adn hims will direktify yu tu teh stoodio… fankies.
O hai, piggeh. I is back from my appertment wif Fronk, my tax stylist. Whut dressing room has I been assigned to? And whut is Meet Loaf doing in my hot tub?
tehy be serving meet loaf at tihs shin dig??
* czechs clipbored * umm… err… well, Meet kinda went in tu yur dressy ruum adn wii tryed tu get him owt agen… but but but yu nose hao hims is…
Umm… ai err… lubbs yur gnu hare style… umm… yesh… is yoo neek… berry nyce…
O, u like? While Fronk was trimming my assets and teasing my liabilities to make them look moar biggerer, he didz my hares too.
Nao, heer is yur costoom… eet gawt a littlol bit shrunked at teh cleenurs but is otay, just a littlol bit titer dan yu had planned…
Hmph. U taked it to that discount cleeners run by teh rabid weaslols, didn’t u?
*picks up costume wif tweezers, goes to shoo Meet Loaf outta dressing room*
Well.. iffn SUMMEDY had nawt gone intu mai peeple bank fur munnies ai wud has enuff tu yoose teh gud cleeners… pfft!
But… but… u sed u was savening those moneys for ur drama-ectomy surgery. If ur gonna be a pathololgical liarm piggeh, at least keep some notes.
But don’t put those notes in ur peeple bank. Too easy to open. Honestly, who uses 12345 as their combination, anyways?
oh grate! tell teh hole whirrld! pfft… nao ai has tu cum up wib a gnu seekrit code!
Try “54321″
ooo taht’s a gud won! * scribblols in notebook *
Nao, yu is awn sekkund AFFER cweenmj, otay?
Hey GP! Hippo Birdies 2 U! I don’t think I can make it to the show and your party. Stoopy mumblegrumblerassinfrassin IRL .
Try “I D 10 T” fer yer code…
Ok, gottit. Rember that Mick has a number planned also, wif lolpigburglar and Scrooge McPig.
Fankies Maus!
Maek shore yu has yur lawts ob fyool in yur Zippo!
Donot worry, Maus. I’m sure teh aftershow party will go on for a long time. And teh lawrsuits even longer after that.
pfft! dey is alwais steeling mai limelite!
O, adn Maus… ai lieks taht code tu but but but ai nose yu has eet awn yur lisense playte so, aifinkso yu kin keep eet.
Argh! Gud wun! Ya gotted me!
Have a pint for me, OK?
Will do, old chap!
OLD chap!!!?????
*fawls awn teh flore giggloling!!*
Ai’ll jest taek him AFTER teh show…wood nawt wnat tew ruin ur show….spcially awn ur birfday….and a berry happitale birfday tew yew GP!!
ooo fankies Spirit Dancer!
Ohai Spirit Dancer and fanks fur shayrin teh Johnny Depp wif me. {{{SD}}}
{{{GP}}}
Oh an HAPPEE BIRFDAY PIGGEH!!!!
poor cat it hates people now
poor thing
“Wuh-oh! Wai deh rum keepz goin rounanrounanroun? Wai deh tabul awl spungee?”
I wuz gonna do a dansdansdans for Annipuss’s nawt-sekkund celebration, but just the thawt of twirling and spinning made me dizzee!
So, immobile, I say “Way to go, Anni”
*Wanders off to kitchen for more cawfee*
HAY everyone!!
I has a speshul annownsemint!
*AHEM*
You may has herd of teh talk show teh Guinness Piggeh is putting on today, on teh next lol, right? RIGHT??
But what you might NOT noes, is that today is his BIRFDAY!! Yes.. that’s rite! He tried to hied it, but he’s bin found out!!!
So when u comes to teh show, plz to be sure to bring ur birfday wishes, pork scratchings, pikkled eggs, and wutever else u wudn’t eet, that he wud like.
OH OH OH and this will be a surprize partee, so no tipping him off!!
* drags skwirrl awai wib a kwikness *
Ahem! plz tu NAWT lissen tu hurr! Aifinkso she is teh crayzee… uh huh, yesh.
* lukks arownd nerbussly *
um.. wut is u doin here??
*shoves a bag over teh piggehs hed and pushes him into a bocks*
Hay! plz tu let me owt!!!
ooo… cookies…
Birfday?!?!?!?!?!
Ai duz nawt gno if ai can be heer fur teh event, so ai will saying nao:
★☆✩✪✫✬✭✮✯★☆✩✪✫✬✭✮✯★☆✩
✪Happeh birfday, Guiness Piggeh!✪
★☆✩✪✫✬✭✮✯★☆✩✪✫✬✭✮✯★☆✩
Ai shall haz tu pondur a prezzint fur yu… pawsiblee sumfing helfy…
*hazza ponduring*
ooo fankies PK! umm… kin ai suggest, umm… no Kale, fankies.
kthxkaleistehplehmebbehsumchokklitcookiesinsted
*goez tu luuk up resi-pees fur helfy cookies*
Ai gess, pikkloled piggeh feats wood nawt be pprpriate?
Awl tugebber nao:
O, TEH HYOOGE MANATEE!!!
Yesh, ai saw hym down der on teh fred…an ur quest ion waz?
maebe u wood rather haz a chocococolate’ caek wif butt! er cweem eyesing?
Umm… ware yu is going wib that binegar adn that jar?
Hay! Stawp lukking at mai feets liek taht!
butt (snerk) tehy b sush kyoot liddle feetsies….
yesh yesh! awl teh better fur scampering wib!
Wif awl teh Guinness yu drink, yu a lil pikkloled ennyway, aifinkso.
* slow, sad hedshake * aifinkso yu is rite! * hiccup *
hee, hee…was only teesing u piggeh…wood nebber picklol ur feets, butt (!) taht beeg hog weighting awt bak iz annudder storie. Oh…waht iz dat beeg wet fingy?
* faints *
****Piks up piggeh & wayves cookies unner himz noze.*** no, no…nawt HGM…ai fink it caem frum LCB’s rume wifaqwiknes…liek she frew it out….butt(!) nawt shur waht it iz.
phew! otay den!
umm… deed yu sai cookie?
Yesh, hear iz bocks awf awl tipes cookies:
Applolsawse cookies
Brownie cookies
Cocomoco nut mackaroonies
Debils fud cookies
E…
dis babbeh kitteh kneads mush snorgeling. poor darling.
this comment waz sposed 2 b @ end awf fred…stoopy wp
Ohboi! Ai’m nawt maedid tu b shakin oar stirred!!! Nao, iffin aniiwun b luukin fur mii, ai’m gonna gow lai down a littlol till teh wirld stawps spinnin…
… mebbe ai’ll maek a deetour tu teh littur bawks nawt sekkund… *eksits luukin a tad greenish*
Wrapps twoel round head over CHRG and ducky tapes in plaice. puts on Sooper Chromatik Joo Janta Stun glasses. Sneeks peak at the kitteh…
Iz kyute!
Looks awaiwifakwickness just in case….. Openz juan eye and looks again… Iz berry kyute! I leik teh bow on the kittehz hed! And teh kitthehs blwq eyez adn the liddle wite paw bootz… OH NO!!! kyute oberload!
Grabs hed wifakwickness and turns away frum teh mon eat or and looks at messy room just in thyme WHEW
Kyute Kitteh!
Can anyone see me? Can you hear me now?? Help! Help!! I’m being repressed!
Ohai Hughgmanatee I can sea you kwyte nicely but yur name nawt be blew
We see yoo
Repressed?!?! Oh, teh hyoo… uh, yeah.
Ohai Hugh! Ai seas yu! * waybes littlol paw *
I don’t understand what’s been happening, I haven’t been able to comment for days! I tried to help GP when he invoked me, I was ready to splash anyone who tried to abuse him and my comments never went through! *sobs with relief*
I thought maybe manatees weren’t welcome anymore, it was so sad!!
now I don’t know why my name isn’t blue but at least I’m visible again!
{{{Hugh}}} Wii does nawt discrim… deeskri… wii welkums EBBERYWON heer!!! Speshully manatees!
* paints Hugh bloo wib a kwikness *
my name isn’t bloo anymore either hugh.. and if I tries to add a linky, I disappear completelee!!
*shudder*
Dis be an owtrayge…
we need to organize a protest rally,ai finkso!
mai name nawt bloo eivver…waht teh CC iz happening?!?!? Maebe we awl will disappear sssllllloooowwwwllllyyyyy.
Ai resentlee tryed tu put in nawt old emayo addee, an went to nawt eggistin. Den ai wentded bakk tu ore-iginlol emayo addee an cello (nawt gettin intoo da viola/voile scushion) ai waz bak on cheezfredz, an den resabed mi WP count an waz bloo.
wut? u dint voet foar noe keeng?
Ai fot wii were an automonous collectiv!
JCH4K (the reel wun, nawt Tidmum abov
)
Ai can see yoo TOO!!!
*yoinks kitteh*
*tukks kitteh under shirt*
*holds kitteh close so no shaking*
*runs awf wif kitteh tu keep saef frum stoopy kids an stoopy parints*
Pore kitteh–ai fink himz gonna barf.
Kitteh iz made out of very sensatib mateeryuls. Plz to snorgle and lurv, no shakeys.
(CHRG snug and at the ready, with additional HGG for safety)
{{{{{D.R.}}}} Ar yoo uzing ten noo wuns ai just gave yoo?? Teh were the eggs tree gud wuns – O’riginal Amercat wuns, wif teh piggeh fayces an elefantee behines!
Yes, I’z a very proud user of CHRGs and related safety stuffs.
Tankeys! {{{JCH4K}}}
Why no did kitteh yell at first shakings? Any of mah kittehs wud hav maed it eezee to gess what wus in teh bocks.
An then it wud have been owt of teh bocks immejitly also.
Poor bebbeh – needs sof dark kwiet plase for a nap.
Akshully, that sownds gud to me tooalso.
Ai can haz darkkwietplasefuranap, plz? Wun ai nawt haz tu tell ennywun whair it be?
We iz abowt tu haz a class meeting fur teh fundraizer we duing fur marketing class… well, iz fur humayn sosietee, nawt fur teh class. But, fink uv twenny-sum peeps, no wun in charge, awl going twenny-sum diffrint direkshuns. Ai wud compare it tu herding cats, but teh cats at leest be cyoot. Committees, ai haets tehm!!!!!!!!!!!
fur marketing?????
Oh teh HGM!!!
Meeting be starting… if ai nawt make it back, ai lubs yu awl!!!
*walks away, traiing tu luk brave*
*keeps eers forwurd an tail un-floofed wifaneffurt*
buy PK…we lubs yu tew!!! bee bwave.
mebby kitteh ws 2 parrilizd wif shuk 2 meeyow
luk at does libble eyes!!
Klevr, dat kapshun!
Dis babbeh kneads mush snorgeling, poor darling.
Wayte a minit!!! Ai is reedin teh commints adn nawt lookin at teh lol…
*Oh NOES………… SPLORT!!!!*
TCM down
nee naw, nee naw, nee naw
maek way pleez….
scoopy up braynes in niec liddle pyle & rinse wif sparkling lemony waters, pak bak inna hed very softly….assembolole hed bones, den tapy, tapy, tapy wif raynbow colered ducky tape, put awn CHRG(wdoi)
oops…leetle bits of braynes left***frows in trash, nawt luk importint*** covers wif cheezpeep map, gievs chocolat martoonie & chocolat possums…..dere….feel rest & feel better….K?? whew!!
Hao’z abowt I brafz n awl yr shooz, u get mii a fyoo cheezburgrz, an we kawlz it eebin, k?
Normally, I would Splort after looking at this. But I have my CHRG on today
Aww I dont find this funny, you shouldn’t put up pictures like this, it makes me and probably others, sad
No kittehz wuz shookd oar uddurwize hurted in teh maykin uv dis lolpik.
poar dizzeh kiddae. needz drama mean.
Deh gold ribbun iz trowin kitteh awf balanz, cuzza deh wate.
luks like wen Sylvester saw teh giant Tweety Bird
Omai ceilingcatness! Iz narroelee abboidid teh SPLORT… ai berry lukee remembereded tew poot awn my esstra strenf CHRG (wif cuppy cayks awn it). but it duz feel a bit skwishy…
o… HAPPEE BERFDAI GUINESS PIGGEH!!! ai dew a lddlol dans…maek a liddlol lurvs… git daown toonyt!
***hans GP a guiness cayk*** wish ai cudda mayd it awn sooner (befoar middlolnites)
Ai lubz dis picher!
DIS MAH KITTEH!
http://soupwiththefork.livejournal.com/11581.html
OMG! dat por kitteh! i jus wants ta huggs heem!
Me too Merty. Reminds me of a Six Flags ad I’ve seen, where it sounds like a kid is shaking a kittah in a present box. It’s fake, you can tell it’s sound effects, but still..
What the hell! Funny, but awful.
Porr kitteh
changes first r to o before anyone notices
I hop teh kitteh didnt eet befor teh shakin
Awwwwwww! poor lil’ kitteh!
Pore kitteh lukks like him ’bout to go *URP!*