Well..how else was I suppose to open it?
u cudda waited 4 grabbity 2 do its fing.
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The Lady of Broccolishireham
darn my lack 0 opposubul thumbs
Nawt be a problem dis tyme. Teh can fuds iz still a problem.
L0OT (lack 0 opposabull thumbs) is the cat fud burglur’s curse: no can be sneeky- evidence is too evident.
Canned fuds nawt be a problem. Jus’ sharpen poyntee ends until dey be az sharp az dat wheel-adn-handul fing teh hoomins yuze.
Conga ratz awn teh tawp uf teh brayde. Wii can haz sum tribblol trufflols foar noms? Wif sum shwimp cocktayls adn teh pink shampayne foar drinkses.
mmmmmm sounds gud, but i dozn”t eet da tribbuls. but i hazza hankering for cuy sheesh ka bobz…
what, nobuddy’s gonna ax if i aer teething?
Teh trubble wib tribblol trufflols iz dat iffen nobody eets dem, dey multiply rapidly.
well, that’s what Klingon Birds 0 Prey are for… beam them over where they’ll be no tribble a tall.
or whut…….yer names Mudd?
Lookit, no thumbs!
cui no can has thumbes, eider?
* slow, sad hedshake *
No, adn eben ower pointy ends is teh small… Wii is pretteh mush halpless wibowt hoomins, aifinkso.
Nawt wif tehm purr-pet-ooallee groing teefs, yu nawt!!!!!
Ah yesh, awl teh better fur nomming fings wib!
*snorrglols teh littlol piggeh*
heya GP, you knoes dere’s a live/animated movie dis summer strarring yer relatives?
oar mebbe GP hisself aifinkso!
izze really a member of G force? Gadgets, Gizmos, and Guinea Pigs?
hii teh pinny gig masstur!
he told me it was based on his life story…
If it wuz based awn teh pinny gigs lief storee teh naem uf teh mobee wood be Pinny Gig, Lief az a Hed Phlonquais
Ai seed teh preevyoo teh uvver nite & kuddint stawp giggloling. Ai thotted uv u, GP!
Ai didn gno der wuz a pinny gig moobeh mayd!!!!1!!1!! Fur reely reelz?
yep, I saw the poster last week when I went and saw Star Trek and Wolverine.
.
does anyone else get a Captain Malcom from Firefly/Serenity vibe off this version of Kirk?
dat’s wat pointee enz aer for
GMTA anni!
Izz whai Ai haz pointee ends
yew is nawt very thotful, human!
unless, uf korse, it was teh hooman who ripped open teh side, in which kase, thotful but sorta lazeee or inna hurry!
Iz nawt lyk YU ebber rememmer tu feeds me!
Oh yes Cat, you’re fading away to a mere shadow of your former self! (I say to my complainers)
Remembur, ur teh wun wif teh oposable fumbs and teh sissors!
I duz feed yu kitteh. Yesturday, yew gotted smoked sammun adn blue crab. ADN demanded my sammich as well, afterwards. (Duz anywun fink dat my kitteh gets spoiled?)
dependz. whut kind uf sammich wuz it?
doesn’t matter, if hooman haz eet….kitteh wants eet.
Raspberry jam. Nawt wat I’d cawl reel kitteh fuds. Nawt dat kitteh gave a damn. I was nomming it, adn dat waz unaggseptible unless she got sum.
adn wuz it on freshly baked whole wheat baguette or Wonderbread? tese are important distinctions to a spoiled cat but notsomuch mto a regular cat
Multigrain, gud kwality but store-bought, nawt fresh bake.
Mmmmmm – teh smowkee sammins an teh sadsad crabbees – ai can has noms at yor hows, pls?? Noms heer luks unforchoonitlee liek lassanyuk hamburgler halpur. Toadlee pleh, in comphaireesun.
EZ pour spout.
ezee spill, more like
Yep, kitteh knock obber da bag an fud spray awls obber da floor. Iz amazin how far crunchi fuds travel awn slick floor.
an how often it leeeps to be under teh bare feet….
be habbin tu sweep sweep sweep furebber… jus wayt til yu be moobin teh frij! Kibblol bitsies eberyware!
u wuzzint spozta
Aww, kittehz nawt sekkund kill.
Ai IZ a kitteh, an we IZ hunters, yu gno. It waz tehre, ai waz hungree, ai huntid it.
Izzit juss me, oar duz we haz a LAWT uv GMTAs in teh nawt-sekkund few minits, heer?
*gets dragged awf at pointee-enz-point tu feed kittehs*
Wen Great Mynds git tugether, ennifing iz pawsible!
Uh oh … ai finkso we haz meece!
Meece tried tu get intu a bag uv kittehfud? Hao ironikul!
Meece bii da kitteh fuds iffn dey nawt kareful!
Wallll, ai finkso if ai wuzza meece, ai wood open teh bag ob fuuds fur teh kitteh, too. Prezerbin mai own innerests, yu knoes!
Gud poynt!
A reel Kitteh Fud Cumpanee tried to cre8 a resipee to devol…divel…maek a mous-flavured kittehfud. It dinnot hit teh markit cuz teh tayst-testar kittehs sed “Pleh!” an lyked teh fishus an chikums flavers bester! Mai kittehs lyke to seprate teh mousey hed frum teh body afor nommin it, an therz no tellin wich end tehy’ll start wif. Prolly cudden do taht iffin twas “Minced Mousie” inna can!
my kitteh hoo hunts meeses duz taht (teh ovver wun mostly stikks to de-tayling lizzurds). him eets wun part furst, tehn saves teh ovver for brekfist. i reeded sumwher taht sed not leeves teh gushifud owt on teh playt more tahn twenny minnits; i finked dis wuz funny, sinse kittehs will happily eet a haff-rodint taht’s been tenderizing owt on teh patio overnite.
Lass plaes ai libbd, nawt-sekkund moarnin,ai rowld awta bed an put mai bear feets down rite awn top ob mai ‘howswarmin presint’ – teh beriberi ded dear mowsee. Bai teh end ob teh nawt-sekkund munf, ‘mai poarshun’ ob the kill bees reedoosd tu ownlee wun bak leg, up tew the teeneetinee hip joynt ob teh laytist mowsee – haunch ob mowsee, left caerflee jus owtsied teh bedruum doar. The faes (nawt teh hoal hed, jus the faes) mai LucyFur has caerflee putt awn hur fud plaet, foar noms latur.
Den dere wuz teh stranj, but thin, lump unner teh baffmatt, wut ternd owt tu bees a beri skwashid noa-lawngur-livvin mowsee. Folload ladur in the week bai teh beri annoid an voakal stil-libbin mowsee wut sumwun had berried up to teh nek in teh litturboks …..
Ai has a glad dat wii nawt had teh mowsees in dis hows. Ai jus wish dat Brynna wud gib up teh ideer dat sowbugs/pilbugs/teenee-liddol-armydilols-bugs needs tu sleepees wif mii, unndur teh blankees in mai bed.
Otay…. ai laffed an laffed, altho feeling sorree fur teh mowsis… until yu gottid tu teh bit wif teh bugs!
Brynna goes huntin foar dem, in teh plantspots wut spends teh summurs owtsied, den gets brottid in tu teh shelfs crowst mai winders. Seh’s awlsew teh bestist flai-katchur, butt (*!*) seh eets dem awl foar hursefl, nawt shairin (tank CC!). Teh liddurboks mowsee ai reskyood, an puttid it owtsied, cos it jus seemd p/o’d, nawt viziblee hurt – it prolly fowndid its wae bak in, butt (*!*) ai has a hoep dat it staed owt ob teh kittehs’ paffs aftur dat. Ai liek teh mowsees, dey jus nawt helfee tu libs wif teh wyold wuns.
Yep — tehy be cyoot, but tehy duz carree sum nawt-gud diseezis an parasites n fings.
Yu gotta luv kitteh hunting instincts… coz if yu nawt lern tu preeshiate an lubs it, it gunna dribe yu ryte up teh wall!!!!!
Donut luuk at meh — it wuz teh raccoon!
Yup — really happened in mah old howse. We keeped teh bak door open in teh hawt wevvur. Wun evening, Momcat heered a “riiiiiiiiiiiiip” noise — luuked ober & saw a raccoon sitting next to teh bag uv kitteh fud him had just split open carefully wif wun claw. Momcat letted teh raccoon eet & den closed teh door behind him wen him ebenchullee leeved. We had possums eet teh kitteh fuds in teh howse, too.
Mai mawm wuld nawt mind teh raccoon oar teh possums inna haws as lawng as dem was cleened adn dressed fur lunsh.
nuffin liek possum stu tu warm teh belleh awn teh cool fawl dai.
karefull wear yew bii tredding dere WRR
*shudder*
Ai will pass on teh eetin uv teh woodland creechurs, aifinkso. U can haz mah shaer, but plz to nawt telling meh abowtit.
kthxsnifflebai
now BBQ’d ‘Coon, that was a treat.
we had a BARE once in the little porch on we used for stowage- the door to wit wouldn’t shutcompletely in humid weather , so the bare just pushe’d hims way in. We
heard loud snufflings inside, but didn’t open the door. Our nay bore saw the bare exit …
OMCC!! Nebber open da door fur a bare, dey kannawt bii trusted.
Wut if him sez “Tricker Treet!”?
Mai kitteh Trick showed up at door an sed trikortreet, an when ai lettid him in, him moobed in an nebber leebed!!!!!
awwwwww. what a treat to hear such a sweet story. fangs.
Racoon wuz in mine owtsyde trash kan otter nite. I taked da trash owt an wen I opend da lid wuz lyke a Jack Inna Box, an I wuz lyke a screaming, flailing, crazy wumman runnin fur da door.
whoa! i yam impress’d you liv’d to tale about it. if it had happn’d to me, i finkso i woulda hadda hartattak on da spot.
I’m shure my neighbors were rollin rownd anna floor laffin!
LOL! dats quite an image…
Mai goggie brot me a possum wunce. Wen ai opinned teh door tew let her in, she dropt it at mai feets. AN IT WUZ NAWT DED!!!!!!!!!!1!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have I related the Great Possum Incursion of 1982?
*pullz up chare an waits eegerlee fr storeetime*
*joynes darthmommy and hands out popkorms*
it was a dark night, the storms were yet to arrive.
inside the trailer (double-wide, we is high-class white trash*grin*) the washer/dryer is seperated from the kitchen by sliding doors. Over the top of the sliding doors are itteh bitteh possum feets. Making for a total of three bebbeh (ish) possums.
Awwww – so kyoooooot!
Ai dunno … teh possum ai saw had a seryuss lack ob kyoot.
however, the time to came to evict the possums. My Papa-John, Aunt Missy, Lil-Sister, and meself all gathered in the kitchen, ready to repel the invaders. Papa John, who has had many-many years experience with the critters by this point, has armed himself with his tamping-rod (tool used in setting fence posts) fabricated from the front axle of a Model A Ford. It weighs about 30 or 40 pounds.
The door is slid open, and the possums scatter.
Wat happend next? *Chomps nervously awn popkorn*
two are sucessfully hearded out the adjacent back door. Alas, the is always one. This one came towards Papa John with malice in his beady little eyes.
Papa John strikes with the tamping-rod.
Misses possum. Hits his own foot, his bare foot. The possum manages to dodge between his feet and flee up the hallway.
Grimacing in pain, he directs his grandson to persue the errant varmit. Guess who is cast in the role as grandson.
I tear off in pursuit of possum, corner it in Papa Johns room, and then the teeth of doom and a hiss to daunt the most staunch of heros. I fake right, lunge left and grab the possum by the tale.
and proceed to walk back to the door, proudly, and truth-be-told kinda smugly.
.
this is when the possum decided it was time I remembered that its tail is prehensile.
An den wut? An DEN WUT?
*noms popcorms nervusly before reeding on*
I might not have been the bravest of youths, but at times, my decision making speed made up for lack of judgment.
.
I dropped the possum with a quickness and thence commenced to “soccer-ball” ing the possum to the back door and from there outside.
.
the next day I was sent under the trailer with a shovel to retrieve the corpse of mama-possum. this explained why the three young possums were in the trailer in the first place.
Bravo! Litening-fast reflexes, yu has dem!!!
.
Byootimus story, Dan – menny, menny, menny fanks!
those, those………….TEETH, THEY WERE COMIN’ FER MEH!!!
Wutta grate storee. Fankyoo! *breethes agen* Whew! (Possums–bleh. Pogo eggsepted.)
and smammy, don’t forget her.
Dunno taht wun?
Hao cud yu tell? It waz a bad aktor, nawt so gud at paying ded?
they don’t always play ded. they’re HALF TEETH.
It wuz mostlee ded, but letmetellyudis, itz teefs wuz nawt ded at awl!
An teh goggie wuz sew pleezed wif herselfs, grinning herz big goggie grin wile teh possum wuz hissing at mai feetz. Ack.
PK I hazza Professional question fur yu, iffin yu nawt mynd.
*rigguls intu scrubs*
*waits attentively*
Yes?
Az lawng az it nawt abowt possums. We duzzint haz tehm rownd heer, ai gno nuffing much bowt tehm.
I wuz just wunderin how in da wurld a tiny 6lb kitteh wif tiny paws kan run up an down da hallway an sound lyk a large herd uf lolphants. (Which shii is kurrently doing)
yesh! wii call Shadow a herd of beefalo! (shee’s less than 10 lbs!)
Duz Shadow have da ability tu amplify dis noise at 2 a.m.?
yesh. and Canolli majikloly improves the acoustics in the hallway outside the bedroom so dat is yodloling is eggstra lowd!
Kittehs haz teh uneek an variabul fizziks. When tehy feel lyk a hyooj feerse tigurr, tehy way az much awn eech stryde az a hyooj feerse tigurr.
Srsly, I have no idea, other than a suspicion the answer is complex physics involving muscular strength and impact force and things, but if I ever figure it out, I’ll be rich, selling the answer! Right along with, how can a 10-pound cat stand on your abdomen and chest and put about 15 pounds of weight on each paw simultaneously.
lbs per square inch, and mebbe the purring we hear is the motor for the mass-multiplier.
.
seems likely to me, or as likely as anything else.
so TAHT’s why tehy kant figgur owt haow teh kittehs purrrrrr!
Nebbur maynds teh chest – wut bees paynful enuff – Ai wants tu noes hao dey noes teh eggzakt lokashun ob teh beri senseetiv, erlee-moarnin, mus-git-up-suun bladdur??
shuld hab heerd my best buddy tiger, 16 pownds, runnin arownd up on teh roof! furst time i herd taht, i finked wuz robbers an called teh poleeses.
LMAO! Yep, I kan unnerstand dat. Mine 20lb Pookie tho yu will nebber hear coming. Hii kan jump up onna table besyde yu an nawt know himz there til hii pokes yu wif hyme kowld wet nose.
ROFL! Mah Dusty duz dis & she kint be moar den 6 lbs. Ai kin go up & down teh stares wiffowt makin a sownd — y can’t she?
Ai liek ur “Aiz a feerce tygur” theory, PK.
EEEEKKKKK!
we had javelinas wunse, wich iz being large wild pig-like fings taht lib in teh dezzert. tehy nokked ober owr garbij kans an was rooting throo teh leftedober suppers an stuffs, happy az yoo pleez. tehy wuz very stinky. after taht we started tying up teh bags tighter.
oh… ai hab delt wif teh javelinas befoar. dey iz nawt berry nyce adn srsly lakkin cyootniz. Mah goggeh at deh tiem, her wuz called Brat, tryd tu taek wun on. Fank CC seh nawt has a hurtid but fur cupplol uv skratchis. Ai miss taht goggeh…
oh yes, her doggie was lucky. A friend of mine, hes Lab was nearly gutted. Those tusks are razor sharp.
It will always be one of those miracles of my life that defy understanding. Heck, even I wanted to go fight it, my Mom held me back (not so sure a 13 yr old would have made it against a javelina) Don’t know what made it run away, it seemed so certain that it would kill her. For whatever reason CC saw fit to keep Brat in my life a few more years. Ai has a graytful!
oh yeah that is my cat and if I don’t notice the bag its kitty food everywhere.
wich ifinkso wuz teh kitteh’s hole idea.
Ohai ebereewun! Ai juss wantid tuu lettink yuu awl gno dat wii puttid linkees (wii didn’t gno hao tuu juss put dem awn) tuu bideos ob Eva playing awn deh blog!
Are they youtube videos? There’s a code at the end of the address for each youtube video, after the v= When you do the post, click on the button that says YoutUBE and put that bit of code in the box that comes up. Would you like me to do it on this one, so you have an example? (I’m admin, so I can edit things.)
*runs awf tu watch bideos whyle waiting fur replai*
yesh plz, dat miit be berree halpfull!
OMCC!!!!
Simultaneeus pownsing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*fawls off bed lolling madlee*
*pikks self up coz kittehs lukking askance*
*goes tu fiks blog post*
*haz a ginormus happeh frum seeing Eva habing funs wif friends*
Added it, but left the links so you can compare.
FanQ PK!!!!!! {{{{{PK}}}}}
I gnoes dat waz juss amazin! Eva b berree compfee heer, yoo haz nawt tuu wurreee!
Ai nawt wurried ennymoar.
Her haz yu tu lubs her, her has tu kitteh frendz, her luk so helfy an happeh…. Uh, aifinkso ai haz a sumfing in mai eyes…
{{{{{{{{{plasticat}}}}}}}}}
{{PK}} Iz okay, just luk wat a wunnerful lyfe yu hewlped give tu Eva. Dat iz wat gud parents du, dey raise da yung tu gow owt an make a gud lyfe fur demselves! Yu bii da bestest kitteh momma. Yu gibbed Eva wings tu fly an her haz GREAT furebber home now.
okai, no mai eyes are leekin tew! {{cheezfrens}}
FangQ plasticat! *puts on CHRG and HGGs and goz to luk at videos*
Yur welkee!
OMCC!!! Dat iz da funniest!! Yu bii beri, beri gud daddikat!! Eva bii a luky lil’ diva! {{Plasticat an Eva}} an {{PK}} fur bein such a great foster momma!
OMCC!!!!
Butt-wiggle ob doom AND dubble-pownse!! Tew kyoot for werdz!
.
Yaaaay for Plasticat and Eva teh Diva, and hugz to PK! Sew mush happeeness ai want to hug yew awl!
{{{ebbereeone inbolbed wiff Eva, kittehs and hoomans}}}
Yew liek that shtuff sweetie?
mah cat does dis all the tiem do mah dogs fud. i go to pick up teh bag and its liek a colander wiff doggie fuds everywheres!
Hao coms teh kittehs steel teh goggie fud an teh goggies steel teh kitteh fud?
grass is always greener on the other side
.
that’s my guess.
Iz gud gess, but FINISH TEH STORY!!!
Yu wuz at “Guess hoo is cast in teh roll ov teh grandson…”
Yes, ai iz heer for teh storee! (Reely, Mr. StageHand, ai iz nawt stalker! Reely!!11!)
Mai bigkittehs want tu steel teh kittinfuds, teh bebbehcats steel teh bigkitteh fuds…
Ai agree, iz grass-iz-greener.
Whii duz yu luk dizapoynted?
(clappity-clappity-clappity) Wut a wunnerful storee, SHDan! it has EBBERYFING, hyoomir, pathos, terror, angst, ana happee ending…..Ai sense an Oskir in yur fyooture!!
Ai wuz ribbited, absoolootlee ribbited tu mai seet (well, tehy dint has fwogs, but Ai wuz still ribbited!) wayting fur teh neggst installmint!
him jus like mah kittehs! we hoomins have to hide the fud from the catz or its all over the floor!