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Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime “Bring bak sum toona dis time” Give a man a few cats, he’ll do nothing but fish for the rest of his life.
wut if u teach teh kitteh 2 fish?
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Keeps him outta trubblol, aifinkso.
You winned a can ob tooner!!!
Wif Miraclol Wip, plz. Mmmm….
* dumps gallun jug uf miraclol wip awn NS, adds teh kwart uf chopt up gerkins *
Whai du peeps keep wanting tu berry NS in condimints???
Purrrrtekt meh, PK!!!
*pondurs*
*yoinks NS an runrunruns tu sekrit hideyhole carrying hur lyk a mommacat wif a kittin*
*leevs NS in sekrit hideyhole*
*runs bakk tu collekt teh toona an miriclol whip an pikklols, bunduls awl up, an taeks tu NS*
*nonshal… nuncha… cashualee lays inna sunbeem across entrins tu sekrit hideyhole tu keep peeps baring condimints owt*
yeah for p-k! I’ll be gud!
.
.
can I borrow some miracle whip for mai hair?
Bare condimints?!?!
*luks in cubberd, sees jars wifouwt any labels*
Oh mai!
has River been in here?
No, Ai haz tuu mannee condimints tu nawt haz dem awl labulled. Egg speshully teh hoemmaed wuns.
*whew* that’s a relief…….of a sort.
Nawt if U grab teh ground habaneros insted uf teh paprikas bai miss taek.
for some reason….I hear the Doors…come on light my fire.
*starts likkin Miraclol Wip off paws*
*can’t stawp likkin Miraclol Wip off paws*
Hold teh gerkins, plz. Picklols next to mah toona salad iz fien. Picklols IN mah toona salad, nawt sew muchlee.
Foar me, pikklols=pleh.
Ai fink wii needz an innrbenshun. Wii needz tu actiblee purrtect NS frum da bulleez.
Miraclol Wip maikes hayres shiney. B caerfil LCB duzzent steel u!
Not to worries. I prefers mayo.
Hmmm… Toona adn mayo wif gurkins awn toast…
Sawree!
*droolz*
Oh mai!
Hay NS axed fur teh miraclol wip, nawt sed where tu put it.
Uv coarse, if u ware a hat, nobuddee will notiss.
*snerk*
Ai haz a bald.
So duz mah huzbin! Bald iz nawt awlwaiz a bad fing.
a very dear friend of mine has a “thing” for bald men. She has the hots for Bob Newhart. Which makes me wonder why we hooked up. My being the long-haired goon that I am.
Dan, u spelled it rong. Iz nawt “goon”.
Dere’s onlee wun “o” an no “n” at teh end, jes a “d”.
which should serve as a reminder, that in the distant past, in other pantheons, not all diet…diya….d, gods and goddessessess were “nice”.
**stiks tong owt at Dan**
Why yoo tryin to conbinse me u nawt nyse?
red, ask some of the peeps I work with. I was rude last night.
U see dis fayse?
Wun gud fing happend today: Liddlol Beeg Mouf got mooved to anuthur room! Gud fing too, I wuz reddy to throttlol hur.
ai has a selzur bottlol…
Garlick rols wid toona squish an cheeeeez bakey n da obens fur bout 15 mins din NOMS! Yummmmz
fergots to sayz to rap in shiney keep-da-aliens-from probing-mind stuffs. (Aluminum foil you silly goggie!)
Gib teh man teh bote adn U nawt see him awl summur.
*Hee, hee, hee*
Or, him will kill himz wyfe wiffit.
wait, wot? is dere a storee here?
Oh yeah BIIIG stori in da central KY area. Dr. ranned obber hymes wyfe with der pontoon, an said “Ooops” atleast hii had da forthot uf tyen her off tu da boat so shii wuldn’t “float awai”.
AACKKK!!! He ownli ran da boat at her tu “scare her” Nawt tu bii makin snap jugdements! ( I nebber gitten awn a boat wif mine hubbi again!)
as long as yer at the helm……..just never surrender the keys.
Anom! Dat iz teh advise I gibbed my niece, awlwais had kontol uf da keys!
as lawng as yu donut bork yur laig lawnching teh boat, and Mr. SK ain’t arown tu say, “it nawt borked, get in teh d**m twuck…”
Ai nomenate Mr. SK fer deh doodyhed holdin’ pen! Turtlol, R yu als bedder naow? {{{Turtlol}}}
and yew nebber see yer monee again!
And sum sammin, jus foar teh halibut.
i ain’t no halibut gurl!
Gwen Stefani ref ftw!
give the guy a break, he’s havin’ to flounder into the surf with nuttin’ but a tarpon, and that watter looks cold.
but it luuks lyke a warm plaice to me!
doesn’t madder, fish do not nibble only on yer toes…..
which is why I WILL NOT SKINNYDIP for anyamount of money.
.
never again.
.
never I say.
.
never.
Dat wuzzint a fish…
Hoep it wuzzint teh snappy turtlol. Dem nebber let goes.
*wince*
Tutoring, yur duing it wrong!
ROFLMAO!!!! Oh MCC!!
Wuz ewe swimmin cross turtlol Creak while holding on tew ewer Ding-a -ling?
Chuck Berry 4 da winz.
Dat liddlol net him haz nawt big enuf foar teh tuna. Kittehs be luckee if teh man brings bak haff a duzzun smelts.
lol DCHADT!!
An doan flownder dis tyme O;
Albacore! Nawt dat cheap stuff!
in teh spreeng watterz, peez!
yesh, sushi grade onlee!
.
.
grate, now I’m hungree!
haow iz it taht u kan *gibs* kitteh to hoomin?
aifort it wuz teh kittehs taht were the pwners!!
U doan eggspkt teh kittehs tu haz tu go find teh hoomins awl by demselfs?
Holee Mackerel!
mmmm … toona
LOL, so twoo!
OT, but OMG!! I tink da BBC Amerka channul iz bein taked ober by da Scinetolugers! I seen an ad fur dat kult on Mundane nite on BBCA, an wrote to BBCA to komplayne aboot da offensive ad! Da email wuz refyoozed, so I postid on der 4ummms to ask aboot dat ad… DEY DELETED MY POSTS!!!!! I tink da Scinetolugers iz in charj uv dat channul nao… Shood I write to da FCC aboot da offensive ads?
Yesh, adn teh senatur adn teh congressmans. Adn teh BBC tell dem U writes tu awl teh adbertisers adn will nawt bai frum ennywun dat haz teh ad awn teh BBCA.
Did they actually say something offensive (like cursing or something sexist/racist/homophobic,etc…), or is it the mere fact that it was a Scientology commercial offend you?
ONCEAJINX!!1!1 OMG, it’s been like forever since I’ve seen u! How u is?
*hugs onceajinx, starts to feel a little moar betterer than 10 minutes ago*
U gotz ta show da BBC hooz boss, I rukd wiv dem an maed dem givz mi bak mai munni, harharharharhar *thud*
O hai guise. I can has hug? Nothing drastic, but I has a huge frustrated/angry wif someone who is being a ginormous noodge. I need a remindifier that not everybuddy in teh whirled is a big fat doodyhed. kthxgrrrrr
{{{{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}}}
{{{{{LCB}}}}} Onlee sum pplz iz big fat doodyhedz, fank CC.
Hao be Liam & Zoe?
They is teh fine, thx. Both is havening their post-prandial nap. Zoe is rite behind me on teh couch and Liam is sprawlified on teh flore.
aftur dis tehy will habbing thems post-nap nap? taht wun iz very important.
{{{{LCB}}}}
* Places bottlol uf Wyld Turkee inna bak pokkit where lcb can see it. *
Ai wundur who’s pokkit dat is?
WRr – Ifn u needs moar of dat, I nawt libs far frum ware dey mayk dat stuff.
I heer dis area prodoosis sum of teh bestest bourbon ever.
Ai duz nawt finkso ai iz wun. {{{{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
*drags teh noodge tu teh litterboks*
*digs a deep hole*
*shoves noodge in hole*
*jumps upandaon awn noodge tu maek shur stays inna hole*
*burrees in teh kittehlitter*
*sniffsniff*
*burrees summoar*
If yu nawt yet seed teh bideos plasticat juss posted in blog uv Eva-Diva, go luuk. Tehy will making yu smile, aifinkso!
YESH! Eva an Tira dubblol-pownse Unique!
Ai seed it, ai seed it!!!!!
Butt wigglol ob doom and sink-ron-ized powse is teh win!
Dat one maid mii LOL BWOD and awl
menny poopyheds in teh werld – donut lettem getcha down. {{{LCB}}}
*handz LCB watter balloon full uv green oatmeal wif rayzins in it fur speshul doodyhed purrpusses*
hab fun wif dat!
{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}
I kno teh feline, truszt me.
{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}
*Stiks tung owt at ginormous noodge*
{{lcb}} has sum martoonees and chocklit esspresso beens from last lol. wii can all be sloshed & hyper!
Thx, guise! U has halped talk me down from contemplating murderation and now I is just thinkgin of ways to maim.
*nod nod*
Dat iz muchlee beddur.
If I can just hear back from teh third party I has asked to advise me, I mite downgrade to prank phone call.
U kud fill owt subscripshun cards wif himz naem on dem fur random magazeenz (purrfurrablee hawriblol wunz) wif “BILL ME LATER” chekked off.
Oooh! Egg salad ideeya!!
Yu haz emayo address fur tihs pursun? Yu can use it awn lots uv playsis taht will keeping it fur spammings.
LOL — dat wud be gud, azwell! Mebbe boaf.
there’s always the fish tank of doom…
Yes, yes! Altho mebbe we iz obberfeeding COL’s goldiefish … an yu no wut happins wen yu obberfeedz a goldiefish, rite?
Pepto Bismollie?
Asploding fishie?
Ohmai. Wel, akshully ai duz nawt no wut happins. Ai wuz hopeeng sumwun wood tell me.
Mebbe … teh goldiefishie’s pants gets too tite? An teh fishie haz tew unbuttun dem at meeltimes?
Teh moar yu feeds a goldfishee, teh moar tehy gro… an gro… an gro…
Adn teh moar U haz tu cleen teh bowl.
*listens*
annyboddy else here a piano?
*listens moar*
and now a brass horn of some sort?
*starts to sweat*
Taek deep breffs, an merembur dees wurds ob wizdum (frum aicantmeremberhu):
Ebreewun yu meat bees teh byootimus chyold ob teh Yooniburs, mennee ob dem cunninglee disguysd as a**hoals.
*snerk*
Shreek!!! Anovver wun fur teh “gotta stich tihs up inna sampler” list!!!
Amen! {{{LCB}}}
You’ve made us feel alive again,
You’ve given us the drive again,
To maim dat stoopy noodge again, Dame!
Romeow! Didjoo see? Teh Humayn Sosietee sez offishullee ai can haz Cory-Bear fureber! *dansdans* Iz still mennee kittehs ai nawt can halp, but mai bebbehboi be safe wif me fur always fur luvings an huggings!
Ooooh – concatshoelaces, PK!!!
*happitayl dansdansdans fur PK & Cory-Bear & Seanya & Trick & Angel & Loki*
*happeh happeh happeh danse danse danse*
Oh P-K, I did nawt see!!! Yeah! U can has Cory Bear!!!!!!!
Dere habs neber been a moar lukee kitteh.
I habs an EXTREEME Happeh fur U!
Meny Congratmulashuns!
{{{{{P-K + Seanya + Cory Bear + otter kittehs = bestest of fambleez}}}}}
*happehdansdans*
We nawt need a forf kitteh, but ai luv luv luv him, an we rearranje teh bujet sumhao — always du! Mebbe if him cud go live wif a cheezfrend lyk Eva iz, ai cud gib him up, but nawt uvverwize, nuh-uh, noway! *coils purrtektivlee arown teh Cory-Bear*
YAY! In tiems ob sadnis( Ly) dere iz happitayl (PK an Cory-Bear)
Iz death and life, balansed…
Moar gud nooz…Wink got adoptified today!!!
Dere iz a linkee for bideo ov him on mah ICHC paeg.
He iz a hugging kitteh! He wraps hims legs round eech side ov ur waist, goes bellee to bellee wif meh, and puts one paw on each shoulder. Purrrrr…rub…purrrr.
Amazing combo ov lovee and playful.
Iz SO happeh fur him!
*dansdansdans wildlee*
Ebree singul kitteh whu finds fureber hoam make teh entire uniberse a bedder playse an adds tu teh joy!
Teh song uv teh uniberse be kitteh purrs.
Dat iz teh fabyooluss, Romeow!
*happy dansing for teh gud nooz ob littehs habbing fureber homes*
U wantz teh sneek prevue uf teh RHSB’s Bashin adn Blastifying Ranj? Aifinkso rhsb will gib U teh discownt if U let hur halps.
Wii can set teh Troll E 7000 balt fed blastifier tu ennyfing frum ‘ticklol himz whiskurs’ tu ‘puddlol uf goo’.
Oar U can du it teh awld fasshun wai wif teh cat uf 9 tayles oar teh 2 orinj kittehs in teh showur room.
um… itz nawt me beeing teh doodyhed, izzit?
{{{{{LCB}}}}}
tess, yu cud nebber be taht kind uv doodyhed! {{{tessm}}}
Why, tess? Whut has u done that I doesn’t knoes about?
No worries: Is not anybuddy in cheezwhirld.
*sigh 0 relief that she dunt notice wot i did*
I still wanna has a word wif u about those fronsch frie fingers, though.
fond memo to LCB: not everybody is a big fat doodyhead.
U means they doodyheds come in other shapes, too? Yikes.
Dey comes in awl shaeps and siezez, aifinkso.
yes, indeedy they *doo*
*remembers LCB maybe looking for trubble in re to the fronch frie episode* goes Ian Cogneato wif a kwikness
Hoep ai iz not tew laet fore tew giv yew a hug. Nd tehn we kin boaf goes to teh noo Blastifying Range? Ai iz surownded bai doodyheds todae.
{{{{{lcb}}}}}
*goes tu get a biggur litterboks*
*starts burrying doodeeheds*
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kk}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
don’t even get me started on the whole “surrounded by doodyheds” thing. Today is the first of seven High School Graduations. Yikes. I’m up to my armpits is teenagers. The schools send thier own security if that tells ya anything.
Ai wurk in teh skool…
* handz SHD teh fresh bottlol uf Capt Morgun, a bukkit uf ice adn teh can uf coke *
now that is a coke-float.
.
you are a god amongst men.
*hands SHD an opaque 32-oz mug uv (Lynchburg) Lemonade*
Yay foar teh opayk cups! **raises hur own in a toast**
cool, *clang*, ahm sleepin’ here tonight then. gotta be back at 7 inna morning annywaise. They can just deal with me dusty and a tad funky.
Um … ohai Mr. StageHand? Ai iz holding mai breff wayting tew findowt wut happins neggst in teh possum storee. Ai’z getting a bit liethedded …
ah, sorry, should I continue here or back there.
Heer’s fine … or mebbe hole storee shud be in wun place? Bak there , ai gess.
Ohmai.
Yu needs hugs!!!!!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Ai dunno whair ai gunna find a litter boks fur burrying 7 high skool graduayshuns, tho. Aifinkso ai needs tu upgrade tu a beech. An mebbe sum hevvy erf-mooving ekwipmint. *pondurs*
I do have access to a back-hoe, and 100+ acres of land.
.
.
annybody got quicklime?
Dere’s sum in my trunk.
I’ll loan ya sum ifn u nawt axk why I gots it.
Deel?
Dat remynz me: Josie wuz too beeg foar regyoolar sized lidderbocks, so wii hadda improvyse.
Wun ov hur lidderbockses wuz a plastik unner-bed swetter storidj bocks.
That is teh suck, fer shure. At least dan gets payified for dealing wif hims, even if it may not be nearly enuff. Mines is from something I does for no moneys.
now that does indeed suck diseased moose-wang. You freely give of your finite time, and still have to deal with cranial excretionists.
.
Wanna beer? I can prolly sneak one outta the bosses office.
Beer? Yes, plz.
But, um, not a Moosehead. kthxew
there are a few reely good St. Arnold bottles in dere…..
Ai rememberified to doing mah hoamwerks tonite!
*haz a prowd*
Woohoo!
Can be hard tu rememmer hoamwurks, sumtiems, wif uvver fings hapning!
Oh, halp me CC, I gotta get bak in dat mode agin soon.
Wut am I gettin myself in2? **hur axks retoriklee**
now, what did retoriklee do to you that you must kill them with a wood cutting instrument?
**luuks at Dan wif an ebilness**
U wanna be nexst?
yes please, about fed-up with this rock.
**grins evilly**
.
.
Teh massokistic syde kiks in…
.
.
..
..
.
.
.
No.
Ah, carp!
Dat shudda been…
…TEH SADISTIK SYDE!
.
..
.
.
I gibs up.
Good 4 u, NS! I hasn’t had a chance to look yet. My doodyhed prollem is related to that. I is in charge of final-checking and plubishing teh other lists with other themes, like Law and Music and Politics and stuffs and one of teh moderators is being snotty and insulting about havening his stuff “fixed” even though he is going against established guidelines and not fixing stuff that he is sposed to. To top it off, his this week’s list included a homophobic joke and a possible racist joke. Neither is allowed and he knoes it. Hmmm. Mabye that’s why he was all “no editing, plx, kthxmydoodydoesn’tstank.”
I is sending him a list of stuffs that I is fixing and holding his list until teh guy whut owns all teh lists verifies teh 2 unappropriate items. But in stressing out over this, I has not getted to some things tonight that I meaned to does. Pleh.
Ai still lubs u, LCB!
What taht idjit duing being modraytur if him nawt eben abul tu follo teh rules himself??? Defnitlee belongs burreed deep deep deep inna kittehlitters. An we can pee awn teh spot.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I heard back from teh owner guy. He backed me up on all the fixes except one, which I coulda gone either way on myself. Oh and teh racist thing wasn’t rly racist as he splained it to me (but it certainly wasn’t funny).
Best of all, teh owner guy said teh moderator guy was being a “d1ck”.
I lurves teh smell of vindication in teh evening.
Mebee u shud do wat mah liddlol niece used to do…
Puts ur paws on ur hips, luk outta teh corners ov ur eyes (nawt crosseyed), and say “I told u I waz wite.”
.
U r teh smrt and teh phunneh, LCB.
Enny smrt person wud trust ur judgement.
Sounds like nobuddy iz trusting the d1ck’s judgement ennymoar.
{{{{{LCB Wins!}}}}}
Owr LCB be full uv win an awsum, so uv corse her wins!!!!!!
Ai gots tu go tu bed nao… plz tu sleep well, nao yu haz been ten vindiktiv… vandal… yu haz winned, LCB!!!!
oh, yesh yesh yesh! yay foar teh vin!
.
oh, u ment sumfing else, ai guess.
as foar homewurks, ai can nawt haz an inspyred this tyme around tho. ai haz a sawree.
Donot has a sry. U does vry well when u does has a inspired. Is ok to take a week or 2 off in between.
* brings aowt teh big bottlol uf shampers *
Wii can has a sillibrashun for teh LCB vindicating.
oh yesh! SHAMPERS! naow ai hav sumfing to doo foar the rest uv teh evening!
schmoos!
I still has some
nooseloose ends to tie up, but thx for teh hug and I’ll join u at teh Blastifying Range in a few whiles, ‘k? Pick out a blastifier for me. U knoes my taste.*hands lcb a shinee, sparklee, hi-paowurd blastifyer*
Hey Troll E, lcb and me iz gonna trai teh raynge naow.
Hmm…. Desert Tactical Arms Stealth Recon Scout sniper rifle with .338 Lapua Magnum cartridges? Or is a Barrett .50-cal Model 107 more to your tastes?
U can Uze dem littlol fings if U wantz LCB can haz teh blastifier frum teh warthawg Hare plane.
Ohai Troll E, ai kin haz teh Hi vlositee, 12-intch, auntie mattur blastifyer wib teh gold starz on him, plz??
Shur. Jus nawt tu point it at teh NB plsthx.
Ai wil point it at teh Doodyhead Holding Pen – wich be pritty ful nao. Ai jist addid my lot of Doodyheads.
{{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}}
*hopes WP iz not bein a big fat doodyhed an eetin all my hugs liek last nite*
*grooms Mommeh’s eers*
hee hee, taht tiklols
*snugglols wif Mommeh, purrin*
{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}
{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}
{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}
{{{{lolcatburglar}}}}
U kin haz ebelenty hugs frum mii!
Hopps u feel bettur soon!!!
Interesting … apparently teh yoos uv teh werd psyontologee (spelled in hyoomin speek) sets off sum kind uf flag in wp. Mah commint iz awaytin moderayshuns.
teh spam filterz haz mannee wurds onna list!
Itz still hazzin a pondurr.
Silly fing — ai diddint say ennyfing insulting to ennywun. *sigh*
Scientology scientology scientology. So tehere! *sticks owt tung sinse iz inbizzible enniwai*
oops–nawt inbizible?
Yay – prokrastinayshun payz off! Ai haz bin puttin off doin a projekt cuz ai haz nawt bin in teh muud to doing it. Ai wuz tolded a liddul wile ago dat part uv teh projekt no longer needz to be dun — so nao ai iz rillee glad ai diddint do it yesterday or today.
Neber do todai wat u can put off until ‘morrow.
Ai shud maek dat mah motto.
Well … mebbe tomorrow… or ober teh week-week-weekend.
Woohoo!
Yur lyf, it be a Dilbert comic…
Deliberately
Funny how the man’s shadow isn’t going in the same direction as the cats’…
Mebee hims iz a vampire?
I can’t see his shadow on the water. What I do see that might be is what looks to be a wavelet.
*shrugs*
Mebbe is light distortion frum teh ripplee surface uv teh waters?
Teh skurt – win. srsly. Talk abt nomnomnom…..
I gess I otter try to get sum sleeps. I nawt been sleepin berry gud latelee at awl.
Sleep-depribed redhed NAWT a purty fing to bee-hold, lemmetellya.
Wish me luk. I mite oar mite nawt be bak laytur.
Ohtay sew dis be jus a bitsies awff topik but ai haz a beeg happee fur tu be on teh CheezPeeps map nao! Yay… ai has a lowkayshun! It be teh liddlol fings taht gibs meh teh happees. Sumtiems iz sew eggsided dat ai has tu be shayrin
yay!
{{caramelchef81}} Plz join teh club! Ai fink habin’ deh hapy 4 lil thangz in life iz gud & a blessing!
CC wannz als us 2 bee hapy, so CC gibz us lil thangz 2 remind us often, iff’n wii luuk’n’see.
*gets offen her podeemim* =^!^=
We iz happeh to hab u onna map!!!
{{{{{caramelchef81}}}}}
.
I lubs to maek teh caramel, iffs dat’s wat u duz, too.
Iz a praktifyin pastree cook… ai mayks awl kinz uv nommalishus cayks adn deezurts! caramel inklooded uv coars!
{{{{OtherMother & Romeow & maryOspockn}}}}
Oooo – iz gud fing yu fownd uz heer den – cuz wii awl LUBS tew nomnomnom awl kynds uf caeks an deezerts!!!!
{{caramelchef81}}
Well, dat’s hao et’s suppowzed tu b!!!
What a lesson learned.