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Give it to me straight, doc…

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Give it to me straight, doc… i can still has cheese burger, right?

but i iz 2 sik 2 go 2 wurk, rite?

Picture by: dunno source via Our LOL Builder. Caption by: Lafona

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This lolcat or funny picture was posted on Sunday, May 24th, 2009 at 1:00 pm.

» 90 comments

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  1. annipuss says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:01 am

    Tell me teh troof

    Reply
    • catslave says:
      May 25, 2009 at 12:08 am

      Teh Troof? Ewe Can’t handle Teh Troof!

      Reply
      • Ambercat says:
        May 25, 2009 at 2:25 am

        We innerupt tihs LOL to maek teh foLOLowin nouns mint:
        Ai can has JanetCanHas4Kittehs!! Ai pikd her oop form He Throw Ayrpot at juss ah Oh Heven tihs morning. Tehn we had a cawfee an tork tork torkd, an drove hoem to Swine Town an trok tork tork an had a cupovtee an tork tork tork. Tehn we bofe had a lidl nap! Ai is nao maekin us a layt lunch but Dame Janet is still havin a lidl snoozy sleep

        Reply
    • catslave says:
      May 25, 2009 at 12:09 am

      GUd Moarning Anni How ewe wants tew sillybrate?

      Reply
      • annipuss says:
        May 25, 2009 at 12:15 am

        Thx cs. Ai haz tiem fur a kwikk cawfee b4 Ai goe owt fur mai daylee wawk. Dere aer thunnerstormz 4cast fur latur, so Ai muss set owt sune!

        Reply
        • op_sMama says:
          May 25, 2009 at 2:10 am

          Ai hez a kurious (agin). Ohai miz anni, ewe habbin dem thunnrstrom aslo? Mai OP iz sor afeerd uf des. Wes gonns habbem tree daiz.

          Reply
          • bluesfan473 says:
            May 25, 2009 at 2:13 am

            wii hadda horriblol t-storm las nite but naow is gorgeush dai, yay!

            Reply
          • Annipuss says:
            May 25, 2009 at 3:09 am

            Teh Ingerlish summur iz tradishunallee 2 fyne daiz an a thunnerstorm. Aifink ower wevver iz nebber az eggstream az in `Merica, but it chaynjis kwikklee bicoz we aer a nawt berry big land in teh middul uf teh see.

            Reply
            • jd says:
              May 25, 2009 at 3:33 am

              Too fyne dayz in teh middol ob teh nite, Ifinkso.

              Reply
              • Annipuss says:
                May 25, 2009 at 3:51 am

                Oh noe, dat’s nawt kwyte fare – 3 owt uv 5 dais haz no rane at awl an teh uvver 2 mite haz less dan a tenf uv an inch. We raerlee haz moar dan 5 inchis uv sno an dat offn ownlee lasts a dai oar 2. 100F iz berry raer indeed an teh infamuss fog dat Lunnun yoost 2 get duzn’t happin enny moar naow we aer nawt alloud 2 bern dertee cole.

                Reply
          • prysma-kitteh says:
            May 25, 2009 at 3:11 am

            Aw, pore OP.
            *pondurs* Yu can bai CD wif funderstorm noizis? Can sloooooolee desensitize her, lil at a tiem, so her haz less scardededniss.

            Reply
            • bluesfan473 says:
              May 25, 2009 at 3:31 am

              aifink iz teh chaing in teh attymospeer taht mai kittehs notice furst, eben if iz beeyewtiful dai atteh momint dey alwais kno long afore ai dew taht a storm iz comin. wen dey start hydin unner teh chares ai kno sumfin is up wif teh wevver.

              Reply
              • FluffyB says:
                May 25, 2009 at 3:41 am

                “R u tyrd ob inakurait wevvur predikshuns adn awais wundering wutz reely goin awn? Wel, wii kin halp U! Jus call 0800-123-CAT, adn wii’l send u ur beli own kitteh! Kittehs nawt onlee predikt teh wevvur flawlesslee, butt(!) dey asso maek gud antee-goggeh alarmz adn r grate wif snugglols! Get urs tudai!!! (Limited offir. Kids nawt allowed tu order wifout ownur-konsent). Turms adn kondishuns applai.”

                Reply
            • op_sMama says:
              May 25, 2009 at 3:48 am

              Ohai, miz PK! Ai haz dis CD mai sistur sen an POOR OP iz skeerd fof dis elso! Her haz 13yerz. Ai, fank ewe fer ur halpz. Wehn dis thunderboomr happezn, OP getz rellie, rellie clos t3 m3!

              Reply
              • prysma-kitteh says:
                May 25, 2009 at 4:02 am

                If yu goez berry BERRY slo, her mebbe gets uset tu it. Play awn lo volume fur, lyk, five sekkunds, oar whateber yu fink her can handlol (rememmer, her gots bedder heering tehn yurs). If her gets fru wifowt pannik, gib her treets an lubs — if her get skerred, du NAWT cuddlol her, coz it juss reinforse teh ideeya taht being skerred be rewardid. (Ai gno, it go agenst EBREE instinct when yu luv tehm!!!) Du a few times until her otay wif taht consistently, tehn edje it up a lil tu 7 oar 8 sekkunds, an du saem fing. When her otay wif a few minnits, mebbe turn volume up a lil bit an start back at, mebbe, 5 oar 10 sekkunds, an wurk yur way up agen, wif treets an luvvings ebree tiem her gets fru wif no panik. If her get skared, back up a step oar tu an stay at taht lebel a lil longer. Du nawt du fur moar tehn a few minnits a day, tho, or it maek her tired an ankshuss an nawt wurk ennymoar. Always end awn a postiv note: neber end if a skared, always end wif a suksess.

                It taek long time sumtiems, an much payshense, but it taeks long tiem fur teh fobias tu start an get all ingrayned, an so it taek tiem tu undo it. Juss ax enny hyoomin heer wif teh fobias oar ankzietees!!!

                Hm. Ai needs a fing fur behavyur blog, coz getting info fur teh kweschun ai wurking awn. Ai translayt tihs an put in tehre, fur refrinse… will be tehre tuday sumtiem. If yu needs halps, juss yell!

                Reply
                • lionelcat says:
                  May 25, 2009 at 7:30 am

                  ai did dis fur mai old mancat Duncan. I gots a recording of Nature sounds wit just one little thunderboomy in the recording. He did not like it and waz luking round awl confuzeled at furst. Den ai play it a little eberyday and quiet like adn Duncan gotz used to the tunderbooms. Ai tink dat the odder “Nature sounds” helped Duncan to realize dat it wuz awl okay. Maybee yu can play yur thunderstorm recording a little bit then play sumting else more soothing fur OP. Naow Duncan won’t eben come inside wen it rainz. Stoopy orney old man-cat!! (Ai lubs him eben so) =)

                  Reply
  2. AfriCat says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:05 am

    DrTinyCat: “Mr. Fluffy.. aim soo sawry butt…” Mr. Fluffy: “O noeees!!!”

    Reply
  3. catslave says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:11 am

    ON Noes! teh Kyuteness! I can’t handle Teh Kyuteness! teh pinky widdle noes and teh floofy Eerz! **SPLORT!**

    Reply
    • annipuss says:
      May 25, 2009 at 12:16 am

      Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC

      *sweep up catslave’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
      *pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
      *fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
      *snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
      *Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
      Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.

      Reply
    • jmuhj says:
      May 25, 2009 at 9:02 am

      Mitu, catslave. *SPLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT*

      Reply
  4. AllyBally says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:15 am

    ai can haz lawlipop nao?

    Reply
  5. Badgerer says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:34 am

    thurmomatur gse whare!!!

    Reply
  6. Blackbellied Jack says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:36 am

    Rx taek 10 cheezburgerz evy hr…

    Reply
  7. iheartlolz says:
    May 25, 2009 at 12:46 am

    my purrskipshun: 10 cheezburgers, a teeny bit kitteh nip, and lots and lots of luvin frum de hoomans

    naw if u scuse me i feel a………UT OH………….SPLORT

    Reply
    • Nennepus says:
      May 25, 2009 at 12:59 am

      ooops – I♥Lolz is down!!!
      *runs in wif det portablol CCC hampur*
      *skoops braynes up an rincies with passhun fruit sparkleh mineral water*
      *playcis brayns back in cabbity and put headbone back*
      *tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp tayp wif ducky taep – hello Kitty akshulleh*
      *puts on multiplol CHRGs an moar tayp tayp tayp tayp*
      *Puts I♥Lolz in a floofeh blankitt, in de comfy chair in de recubbery room – wif a cup ob hot chocklit and som donuts an a glass ob Rosinas majiklol recubereh eliksir*

      Reply
  8. prysma-kitteh says:
    May 25, 2009 at 1:14 am

    *wanners in sleepileh*
    Gud moarning! Oar whateber yur relatib time-uv-day be.

    Reply
  9. BOM_MOMME says:
    May 25, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Gud moarnin, abternun, ebenin ebrione; ai shud be seepin in, butt (snerk) da puppi sayz “noe, let mii piddlol, lets mii owta da bed, pway wiff mii”,

    Reply
  10. bluesfan473 says:
    May 25, 2009 at 1:44 am

    Yesh, u cahn haz cheezburgz butt ai amma fraid u wont eber be abel tew plai teh violyn agin.

    Reply
  11. Lexi says:
    May 25, 2009 at 2:21 am

    OMG, that looks EXACTALY like my cat!! Even the spot next to her nose is in the exact spot. How often do you see that!! <3

    Reply
  12. D.R. says:
    May 25, 2009 at 2:35 am

    Super splort warning. Kewt kitteh may cause desire to hug and cuddle and kiss bebeh.

    ~Splort~

    Reply
    • BOM_MOMME says:
      May 25, 2009 at 2:40 am

      *comes flyin arown teh corner in teh CCC*
WEE-HOO-WEE-HOO-WEE-HOO (datz teh siren sownd)
      
*sweepa sweepa sweepa D.R. braynes into a neet pile*
      
*rinsa rinsa rinsa teh braynes wif razzberree-scented sparklee waddur*
      *scoopa scoopa scoopa teh braynes & slied dem bak into teh crayniyul cabitee*
      
*jentlee replacify teh bits uv skullbone*

      *applies CHRG (wif drawings uv bebbeh skwirrls onnit)*

      *taypa taypa taypa teh CHRG into playce wif duckee tayp*

      *tukka tukka tukka D.R. in unner a floofee cheezmap blankee*
      
*givs D.R. a cuppa hawt (nawt too hawt) choklit & a choklit octopus wif caramel filling*
      
*stands bak to luuk at werk*
…
Dere. Teh kullur iz comin bak to ur cheeks. U rest heer until u iz feelin stronger – an maek sure nawt to luuk at kyoot kitteh wiffowt prawpurr purrtekshun.

      Reply
    • Q. says:
      May 25, 2009 at 2:42 am

      O, nose!
      Ahh ooh gah! Ahh ooh gah! Here comes the CCC

      *Sweep up all the luvverly brayns, rinse them in room-temperature San Pellegrino water
      *Carefully place braynz in braynial cavity, making sure all littlol stray bitz get in there, too
      *Replace hed bonze
      *Secure bonze with ducky taype wiv ‘merican flags on it (is Memorial Day, after all!)
      *Snap on brand new CHRG wdoi of Eva, Cory, and Samson bebbehs
      *Hoist D.R. over shoulder in a fyreman’s carry and carry her to couch
      *Run up-tread for some of nenne’s refreshments
      *Here, less haev some tea and scones. Cheers!

      Reply
      • bluesfan473 says:
        May 25, 2009 at 2:46 am

        yay fer teh dubble reskew! Naow D.R. wil feel twict as gud awl dai!

        Reply
        • BOM_MOMME says:
          May 25, 2009 at 3:01 am

          Ai finks DR needs a fund fur tu getz duExtree heabee doodee Chrg(wdoi) caus shee keepz splortin, an all dat splortin kint bee gud fur her.

          Reply
          • prysma-kitteh says:
            May 25, 2009 at 3:06 am

            *lukks gravelee at camra*
            Ai iz a bictim uv Frekwent Splorting. Ai thot it waz nawt a problim, that ai waz strong enuff tu handlol teh cyoot. But teh more ai splortid, teh eezier it gottid tu splort agen. An nai, lukk at me. Ai haz no brayns left tu splorting wif. Duz yu want tihs tu happin tu yu? Wair purrtekshuns when iz enny risk uv cyootniss. Keep yurself an yur frenz saef.
            Frenz nawt let frenz LOL unpurrtektid!!!

            Reply
    • D.R. says:
      May 25, 2009 at 7:11 am

      Tanks u, Q and Bom_Momme

      I are dubble safe! :)

      Reply
  13. FluffyB says:
    May 25, 2009 at 3:19 am

    Dr.TinyCat’sEvilTwin: No! U kin neba has annuvvur cheezburger agin! Oar chikin! Oar toona! Adn catnip adn tummy rubs r tu b kept tu a minimum!!!
    *evil laff*
    Muahahahahahahaha!!!
    *kitteh-payshunt iz paralized wif fear, wishing et iz jus a nitemair adn dat seh wil b wakin up soon*
    *annuvvur evil laff*
    Muahahahahahahaha!!!
    *no, kitteh iz delity awaik* :shock:
    *despare starts tu set in*
    *suddinlee deir iz a hayooje ekspolshun adn teh door iz torn off ets hinges*
    *in steps teh reel Dr.TinyCat, hoo’s evil twin has previouslee trikt himz innu finking hii izza catturpillar*
    *butt(!) fankfully Dr.NawtSoTinyCat, hoo had a digree in sikologee, halpt tu untrik Dr.TinyCat innu finking hii iz Dr.TinyCat agin*
    *pointying a pointy-end paw at Dr.TinyCat’sEvilTwin, Dr.TinyCat toal himz dat deir MomCat herd wut hii did adn iz beli mad*
    *skairt ob teh prospekt ob deir angry MomCat, Dr.TinyCat’sEvilTwin runsawaiwifakwikness*
    *Dr.TinyCat den turns tu kitteh, stil frowzin on teh bed adn says…*
    “Apoligees iffin mai brovvur gaib u a skairt, kitteh! Du nawt wurrey, tho, deir is nuffing rong wif u. Dis wuz jus a rootine bisit! Heer, hazza chikin flavurt lollehpop.”
    *adn eberywun libt hapi-tayl ebur affur, sept fur Dr.TinyCat’sEvilTwin, hoo wuz nedur herd frum agin!* :-D

    Reply
  14. Jack Deth says:
    May 25, 2009 at 4:42 am

    Liddill Kitteh beez
    berreh brayv 4 furst bissitt
    2 t3h V~E~T!

    Liddill Kitteh did
    nawtz wawntz t3h poakeeng andz
    stingee feengz atz awll

    Liddill Kitteh willz
    getz mennee Snoargillz and Schmooz
    andz Hugz layturr awn

    Mebbee eeben haz
    Cheezburgr? Liddill Kitteh
    woodz lyke berreh mutch! :-)

    Jack.

    Reply
  15. diva says:
    May 25, 2009 at 5:04 am

    Kitteh, u haz khronik kyootness. Iz nawt lif-tretunin, fochunutlee.

    Reply
  16. catalogical humor says:
    May 25, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Kitteh, I preciate ur politeness in using a euphemism, but no, after taht operashun you can no longer “has cheezburger.” Just reglar affekshun from nao on.

    Reply
  17. Ninjahtom says:
    July 16, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    don’t worry… you can.

    Reply
  18. Wittle_bitta_luvins_pwease? says:
    August 4, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    aii is finkin that ai needz sum kittehnippz befoe de end of de day..-_-

    Reply
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